#*sigh* glad i got that out holy shir

[fontofmercy-archived2]

TROS spat in the face of every single abused child who was looking to this fairytale for hope. The sequel trilogy wasn’t about a farm boy looking for adventure or even an abused child falling to villainy, it was about three abused children from the different class systems all rising out of trauma and dysfunction. This was our fairytale, our story, and JJ Abrams perverted it into abuse apologist propaganda in a pathetically desperate attempt to appease the most hateful groups of fans who never understood or appreciated the story to begin with (which is why the story had to be butchered in order to appease them).

1.) Rey

Rey’s parents selling her for profit into slavery was portrayed as a good, loving thing. Child trafficking was literally portrayed as excusable, and even loving, in this children’s film. Just let that sink in for a second.

What is the message there? If your parents did something horrible that caused you years of trauma and torment, you should just not lose faith in them because they may have had a good reason (even if you have no evidence of that). Maybe a space wizard who has been dead for decades forced them to traffic you. This scene makes me want to vomit. This is how a children’s fairytale portrayed parents who sell their children into trafficking:

There is no excuse for this. Rey’s parentage was solved. Her identity crisis was over. This wasn’t needed except to force this abuse apologist message. Oh, and of course to feed the sexist fanboys a bit of eugenics to make them stop whining about how a woman could possibly be important and powerful.

TLJ was about Rey discovering her identity and letting go of her unhealthy, irrational dependency on parents who she never knew, who sold her to an abuser and left her to half-starve alone in a desert. TROS decided to give her a new identity crisis out of literally nowhere just so they could erase all that “You are not your parents, even if your parents don’t love you and/or aren’t special, you are still special and still deserving of love. You can find belonging ahead of you.” stuff with dynastic “Actually, your blood family does entirely define your identity and you should always assume they’re right even when all evidence points otherwise, just ignore your own trauma and blame it on a dead space wizard.”

The whole Rey Palpatine thing left a very bad taste in my mouth. Not just because it’s fucking stupid and something Reddit would write, but because Rey was horrible in TROS. She acted like she was possessed by Palpatine, she stabbed Ben (who she cares for and always had compassion for) to kill while he was distracted. She suddenly acted like she didn’t care about anyone around her. She just overall acted unrecognizable from the warm, loving, empathetic woman we saw in TFA and TLJ. The message here is clearly that because she has this “bad blood”, Rey can’t have an identity for herself. The only thing that saves her is taking on the identity of the good guys, she never finds her own. All the traits she’s had up until now don’t matter, who she actually is doesn’t matter. All that matters is what man’s blood runs through her veins. All Rey is is someone’s granddaughter, because if she wasn’t, then she’d really be nobody.

And thus, JJ Abrams decided that “Anyone can be special, even nobodies. Your worth is not defined by your class or your background.” was a stupid message and instead it should be pure eugenic “You’re only special if you have important people blood/name. Your identity is entirely your (male) family, not your own. No silly woman could have power of her own!”

Rey taking on the name of Skywalker is an utterly shallow attempt to fix the fact that they took every bit of Rey’s real identity from her, took half her soul (Ben is her dyad, two that are one), and then left her alone on a desert planet as if to say that her “true self” is the abused child she once was and that she can’t actually escape that. The moral of this fairytale was “You don’t need friends or love, as long as you have a glow stick (material possessions) and a super duper special name that makes you important (which you weren’t before, you were nobody).”

Not to mention that Rey basically named herself after Luke, no one else she knew actually used that name. And Luke didn’t do anything to deserve that, he rejected her at every single opportunity and only did the bare minimum to help her after being berated into it. Han was her surrogate father and the first person to offer her a life outside of Jakku. Leia was her loving mentor and pseudo-mother. Ben was the love of her life who has always been there for her when she needed someone to confide it, someone to see her true self and tell her she wasn’t alone. Luke was nothing but some cranky old guy who made her feel awful about herself and never accepted her (not to mention telling her she was inherently dangerous and also trying to murder her soulmate when he was a child which the real Rey was furious about).

2.) Finn

Finn’s character has not been given much in terms of development. For the most part, he’s been reduced to “Rey’s friend” and then “Finn’s friend”, with a little moment in there where he got to be with Rose and have his own identity but TROS of course decided to reward racist bullies and cut out Rose instead of giving the rest of the fans a satisfying story.

In TROS though, the one thing that Finn actually did that was heroic by himself, his character defining moment of turning from The First Order, was credited to the force and described like it wasn’t a choice at all. Which brings up a lot of questions and, as Han would say, “That’s not how the force works!”. It was so entirely unneeded to take that from Finn, but they gave up all of Rose’s potential screentime to do it.

There’s also the moment when Poe, our alleged hero, so hilariously (i.e callously) compares himself being a criminal to Rey being a scavenger and Finn being a stormtrooper. Completely ignoring the fact that they had no choice in that, as if their trauma doesn’t matter at all. It’s a small moment, but it was very insensitive and highlights how much the writers Did Not Care or even understand their main characters’ experiences.

3.) Ben

I don’t even know where to start with Ben Solo. His ending was the one that broke me as a person, I had so many hysterical sobbing fits over it that my loved ones were actually getting tired of it and it genuinely put me in a really bad place with my depression that I’m only just not getting out of.

Ben Solo’s story in TFA and TLJ was abuse victim’s epic, it was the story of a boy who was tortured and groomed from the time he was in his mother’s womb. A man who never knew a life without abuse. Ben Solo was described as a pure beam of light in his mother’s womb who was ensnared and tainted by a predatory force bigger and stronger than himself that he could not escape.

The feeling of being tainted and corrupted is common in abuse victims, and the fact that TROS told every single abused child out there “Yes, you really are tainted and corrupted. You do deserve to die before experiencing more than a moment of happiness and safety.” is something that I’ve yet to get over. It still infuriates me, it still breaks my heart. Ben’s entire arc up until this point has been about how he is still worthy of love.

And no, this isn’t me woobifying; it’s in the text of the films and the canon novels that Ben worked for his redemption, that he earned it. Ben fought Snoke from the time he was a child, but Ben was only a child and Snoke was too powerful, too relentless in his cruelty for him to withstand. The one and only person in the entire galaxy who had the training and the knowledge to protect Ben was his uncle, who chose to try to murder him in his sleep instead of protecting him. Ben was left with nowhere to turn except to his abuser. And even then, we see him struggle every single day to try and force himself to be this evil person that he never was. Ben was light itself who was convinced he was darkness through abuse and manipulation.

Then, when Ben found the first person who he could feel and connect with through the force, even though Snoke and Luke had abused and betrayed him - Ben still took the chance to reach out to Rey and be vulnerable with her. While interrogating an enemy, he took off his mask and revealed himself (something we only see him to for his father and when Snoke forces him to maliciously). In the middle of a war, under the thumb of the monster who has tortured him since forever, Ben was able hold Rey’s hand and tell her she wasn’t alone. He was still able to be kind. And because of that kindness, that connection, Ben found the courage to finally destroy his abuser and free himself.

Ben freed himself, and he did it out of compassion for and a need to protect Rey, not out of wrath or vengeance. If Ben were truly a creature of wrath, he would have killed Snoke before, but it was only when he had to see and hear and feel his soulmate be tortured by his own abuser that he found that courage. And yes, he did take Snoke’s place at first because that was the only way he knew how to protect himself. In his experience, people without power get hurt and that’s it. But even then, Ben was able to muster yet more strength to shed the armor that was Kylo Ren and stand with Rey unarmored against the very thing that has abused and tortured him since before he was born.

That took so much bravery and love and selflessness for Ben to stand there as himself, ready to fight his abuse and trauma head-on as Ben Solo. For him to admit he was hurt for the first time in the series. For him to crawl up a cliff with a badly broken leg out of love. For him to willingly give his very life force out of pure love. All of these things are incredible for Ben to have been able to do after all he had been through, these are more than deserving of reward. But TROS punished Ben for doing everything right, they proved that abusers always win in the end. Ben was going to survive until the last few edits. Everything we see was literally leading up to him surviving. This was Ben’s redemption, this was supposed to be him fighting for his new beginning and taking his first steps into the happiness and safety he earned, and should have had as a child, not a pointless struggle before succumbing to death:

But TROS told us, told traumatized and neurodivergent children who saw themselves in Ben, that it wasn’t good enough. That love isn’t good enough. That doing the right thing deserves to be punished. That children tainted by violence and abuse and darkness don’t deserve love and healing even when they earn redemption, even when they do everything in their power to do the right thing and be brave. The hopelessness of that is what broke me as a person. That is not what Star Wars is about. Star Wars is about redemption and love and hope; TROS was about cruelty covered up with a thin sheet of materialism and confused, poor storytelling.

#*sigh* glad i got that out holy shir #ben solo deserved to live #ben solo defense squad #ben solo #rey from nowhere #rey solo #the only acceptable names for her #reylo #pro reylo #anti tros #tros review #pairing: ben x rey #ch: ben solo #ch: rey from nowhere #ch: rey solo #sw: text #my meta

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 6

Summary: reader is in a abusive relationship. When things take a turn for the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: this story will have smut, violence, language, abuse, and torture. If you are triggered by any of this then i suggest you not to read.

I sat down on the bed and sorted through the bags and decided that since it was just a local bar theres no need to dress up to much. For some reason though i felt the urge to look nice, for dean. So i picked out a black strapless shirt, some ripped jean shorts, a red flannel and some sandals. I walked into the bathroom and showered with the new shampoo and body wash i bought. It was called lust, fitting for the occasion. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my hair and then one around myself.

I stood in front of the mirror and applied some makeup, i went for a smoky eye look and some dark purple lipstick. After i got dressed i towel dried my hair and left it in waves down my back. I started to get nervous hoping dean would think i looked okay. I applied some perfume of the same brand as my body wash and shampoo and put in some small hoop earrings.

A soft knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts. "(Y/N), you ready? Sammys not going so its just us."

Oh great i thought. Now my stomach was really doing flips thinking i was going to be alone with dean tonight. "Yeah, just a few more minutes."

Dean must have walked away because no other sound came from the other side of the door. I looked in the mirror adjusted my shirt, my shorts, fluffed my hair. Obviously i was stalling because of the fear that dean wouldnt like the way i looked.

I took a deep breath and walked to the bedroom door, hand on the door knob my heart was racing. Its now or never. I turned the knob and opened the door, and gasped as deans eyes met mine.

His mouth fell open as he looked me up and down. My eyes fell to the floor as his gaze went from my toes to my head. "Holy shit." Dean whispered.

I closed my eyes waiting for the next words to come out of his mouth. His finger under my chin raised my eyes up to meet his. "Youre so fuckin beautiful."

I blushed and tried to look away but he wouldnt let me. He smiled and ran his fingers over my cheek, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss me then he pulled back. "Lets get going, dont want all the good tables to be gone."

I sighed and nodded, even if dean thought i did look good doesnt mean he wanted me. I walked slowly behind him and waved at sam who was sitting in the library again reading this time. "Dont wait up." Dean said over his shoulder. Sam nodded but i doubt dean saw it and he went back to his reading.

Sitting in the bar was way different than i thought it would be. The air was thick with smoke and the smell of alcohol, there was no bikers sitting at the bar like i had imagined. There was actually just a handful of people here. Dean and i got a booth in the back where it was secluded. I slid in the booth and dean slid in right next to me.

The waitress came over swaying her hips and batting her eyes at dean. He didnt pay much attention to her but it didnt keep her from trying. "Two beers, two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey." Dean said cooly still not paying attention to her.

She placed her hands on the table and leaned in close to dean. Showing her clevage to him, "you sure thats all i can get you?" She said seductively as she glanced over at me.

Dean gave her a quick glance, "yeah, thanks." Then he turned his attention back to me. The waitress huffed and walked back over to the bar. She came back soon after and placed our drinks on the table with more force than she needed to and never said another word.

Shot after shot i began to lose track of time. I began to feel fuzzy and more relaxed as the night went on. Dean and i were laughing and having a great time, every now and then we would share little touches or glances at each other.

"Im really glad you decided to come out with me tonight. You deserved it." Dean said brushing my hair over my ear.

I leaned into his touch and sighed at how it made me tingle all over. "Im glad you asked." Dean smiled as i took another shot. "Ya know, parker never took me out like this. He always kept me under lock and key all the time while he went out and cheated on me and done god knows what."

Dean shook his head and opened his mouth to say something but i cut him off. "But you, not you. I wish i had met you before i did him. I wouldve jumped you the moment i laid eyes on you."

Dean chuckled and took a shot. "Thats the whiskey talking."

I shook my head which made me dizzy. I swayed sideways and fell onto deans chest. He wraped his arm around me, i smiled up at him as he smiled down at me. I licked my lips as my eyes focused on his.

I stretched my neck and kissed him, at first he didnt respond but then his arm tightend around me as he deepend the kiss. Our tongues tangled with one anothers and a small moan escaped my lips. He growled as my hand rested on his thigh and started moving upwards.

He pulled away from the kiss and i could see the lust in his eyes. "Come on, we need to go home." I nodded and smiled knowingly up at him. He just threw some money on the table and guided me out to the impala.

I slid in through the drivers side and sat in the middle. Dean sat next to me his breathing was harder than it was earlier. He sat there with a death grip on the steering wheel. I leaned close to his ear and peppered his neck and jaw with little kisses and i flicked my tongue out to lick in some spots.

"Fuck." Dean cursed under his breath. I ran my hand up his thigh to rest on his belt. I fumbled to get the belt loose but dean stopped me.

"(Y/N), what are you doing" dean asked in a whisper.

"Whatd ya think?" I asked slurring my words together. I unbuttoned my flannel and tossed it in the backseat. I moved down to my shorts and started unbuttoning them when dean placed his hand over mine.

"For fucks sake, stop trying to take your clothes off." He growled as he grabbed my flannel and placed it in my lap.

"You wanna do it?" I smiled at him.

He shook his head as he turned back around in his seat. He started the impala and before he pulled out of the parking lot he said, "no, not here not now."

I huffed and slung my flannel back over my shoulders and tried to cover up as much as possible. This makes the second time hes rejected me. There wont be a third.

I didnt say another word to him until we got to the bunker. "Thanks for tonight dean." It came out in a cold flat voice. I opened my door and stumbled out, dean was there before i knew it. He picked me up and i shoved at his chest.

"Put me down, i can fuggin walk." I slurred and pushed against him again. He just carried me down the stairs and into my room. He placed me on the bed and before i even hit the pillow i was out.

The next morning

My eyes slowly opened and i felt the throb in my temples. I groaned and rubbed my eyes, they felt like they had sand in them. Then it hit me, i felt the bile rise up in my throat. I jumped out of bed quickly and ran to the bathroom and just barely made it to the toilet. Even after i had emptied my entire stomach i dry heaved for several minutes.

I flushed the toilet and walked over to the sink to brush my teeth. After i was done i splashed cold water on my face to try to take away some of this hangover. I slid down to the floor and rested my head back against the counter. I closed my eyes hoping that would help this horrible headache go away.

"I would say good morning but it looks like youre having it rough." I heard deans voice come from the doorway. I cracked my left eye open and seen him standing there with a glass of water and something else in his hand.

He knelt down in front of me and handed me the water. He opened his hand and there was two pills settled on his palm. "Take these asprin, itll help with your headache."

I grabbed them hastily and drank the entire glass of water. I leaned my head back again and whispered a quick thank you. I figured dean would leave but he didnt.

I opened my eyes and looked over at him, "im never drinking like that again." He chuckled and sat down on the floor next to me.

"You just gotta know your limit." He said quietly. I sighed as a comfortable silence filled the room. We sat there for i dont know how long and my head finally started easing off.

"I think im going to take me a shower now since my head has quit spinning." I said raising my head up. I looked down and noticed i was in one of deans shirts and nothing else. He helped me up off the floor but stayed standing in front of me holding my hands.

"Did you undress me last night?" I asked looking him in the eyes.

He nodded, "yeah i figured what you had on would be uncomfortable. I knew you liked my shirts so i gave you mine that i had on." He said smiling. He touched my cheek with his hand and ran his finger across it.

I sighed and leaned into his touch, then the memory of last night came into my mind. I know it was the alcohol that made me do what i did but it doesnt mean that i didnt mean it.

I opened my mouth then closed it again, not knowing what to say. He cleared his throat and took his hand off my cheek. "I guess ill leave you to it." He turned and walked towards the door.

"Dean." I said stopping him from leaving. He turned back towards me, his eyes burning with emotion. His breathing rough and fast. "I remember what happened last night. In the bar and in the car."

He just stood there looking at me, waiting.

"It wasnt just the whiskey." I said quietly. I noticed his fists clenching and his jaw muscle ticked. He closed his eyes and turned and walked out the door. Never saying anything.

I looked in the mirror and my god i was a mess. Yesterdays makeup was strewn down my face my lipstick smeared and my hair. Lord my hair was nothing but a fuzz ball.

I turned the shower on and washed everything from last night away. An hour later when the water had gone cold i stepped out and wrapped a towel around me. I grabbed deans shirt from the floor and brought it to my face and inhaled his amazing scent.

I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed a pair of shorts and i put deans flannel back on. I wanted to keep him close to me for a little while longer.

@an-unhealthy-obsession

#deanwinchester #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean x you #deanwinchestersmut #supernatural