#*hides the long ass paragraphs written in my notes app*

[insanesonofabitch]

Sometimes I like to pretend like I’m some unsuspecting non-spn fan getting exposed to the show for the first time.

Like I’d rewatch a destiel edit I’ve seen over a hundred times but imagine it from the pov of someone who’s never seen a single episode of the show and be like “DAMN THESE BITCHES ARE GAY” all over again. And each time I do this I always notice something new about them. Sometimes small things, something huge things. That’s how I generate all the posts.

It feels kind of like when Crowley gets injected with human blood and feels something again for the first time in a long time. Like when a certain scene doesn’t hit as hard anymore and then suddenly it does. Sometimes even harder than the last time.

#wow I just described um #addiction #definitely not a sign of another insane destiel analysis incoming #NUH UH #*hides the long ass paragraphs written in my notes app* #supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #casdean #dean x castiel

[fictionaljournalofbbwomans-blog]

06.03.4040

DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL YO (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-LHFfFKCsY)

BB Womans wakes up; 08:45

Before opening her eyes or even feel conscious she throws a loud scream! She so angry this morning, her jaw hurts, it’s blood driping time for the month, and electro-postillions keep wetting her neck with discouragements on absolutely everything she needs to do. BW’s state is close to punch the walls, scream, jump, hurt herself but ventilates a while, opens the window, repeats a mantra, has a coffee and a cigaret and remembers how bad it was a few weeks ago, enabling pride to have gone this far and motivation to keep on. 

So she sits and types under constant pressure to stop: 

V2K: “Don’t do that BB, people are going to think you are crazy!”. This morning BB really wants to tackle the DIRTY CASH question! 

V2K: “No BB, what are people going to think about you? You don’t like money, remember?”. The question at the tip of her finger is do you dear readers? Do you like Money? 

BB: “Shut up ass-faces, let me concentrate… Mmmhhhh… Yes, how bad was it? BaaaaAAAAAd bitch baaAAAAD!… I tried to end my life for christ-sake… I had no hope to make it out of this misery… I was alone as always in my room, but loosing strength, remembering I never wished to live this life, and now that I am aware of being blood pumped, brain sucked and my limbs attempted to be controlled and automated this confirms how fucked I always thought it was and I figured dying could be my best exit plan… I might loose consciousness completely and just switch off… huh huh…?! Don’t EVEN have the right to fucking die!!! Fair? I have been lower though really... smashing dishes, cutting my hands, ripping my face, falling around, hitting myself… The G seemed so much more of a smoother idea… Wait that’s right, I am fucking Jesus and I don’t want to hurt or sadden anyone! Queen get the money!” 

The only contact BB had with the world was her phone, emails and social media… She attempted to message some people to hint at the fact that she was going to end her days, but without being too clear, saying she wants to die is a reason to lock her up in hospital for a days and harass her to cease to resist to her robotic fate as well as use real sick patients to participate. A few mails here and there, Polo, her dad, her mother… How did this guy made it to her VIP list for suicidal notes? Not sure who else but turning around all the options for perpetrators that are given by the evil orchestrators. The messages were accusatory, sad and menacing but with a romantic rave infused twist because she always has to tell stories or write poems to get her ass out of trouble. “The truth! I want to say the truth!… Pfffff… Let me write! What are you trying to achieve? You know harassing me now is only powering me through writing more! You think I write well?! Cool for you! I am not trying to show skills, play a character, I am trying to save my ass from your puppet show! Do me a favour and go fuck yourselves!” A few breaths in and out and, another cigaret she should not smoke! 

V2K: “C’est bien, C’est bien… On a compris… On va te libérer!”

BW: “I do not give a fuck what you do, nothing will stop me from expressing myself and exposing your despicable enterprise!”

It was day or night in a time and space that felt like in between life and death, she missed her friends nights and hang outs, because she did not want to impose her sorrow or provoke the Masters instructions for actions and loud laughter shooting orders. She was shaking and could not stand up anymore, had thrown her phone somewhere in her messy flat, but needed to find it now, she crawls around, thinking she heard it calling, and maybe that means someone wants her to live. Every time she fills up with another dose, neighbours are banging on her floor from under! 

BB: “Pffffff, leave me aloooOOOOne!”

Some miracle lets her access her phone and dive in a long scroll down facebook and Instagram. She is looking for signs, and isn’t disappointed; Posts are mostly about her, what she said, what she likes… etc… Let us explain that more in depth a bit further. These posts have for aim to keep on inducing schizophrenia but the psychosis social media circus has a saving effect strangely, she is not crazy, what she knows is real and there is a reason to keep standing, at least for a little while, at least to try and make a change before departing from this sick sick SICK world.

BB: “LOVE is SICK!” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXdWxFj0y3s)

 BB: “Anyway, let’s look forward now that we have made so much efforts to stay alive and healthy, let’s write a fucking budget with that pitiful amount of cash that is left for the whole month… Mmmmhhh… food… mmmmhhhh… fuck, I’ll never be able to repair my gear! And huuuuhhhh, people aren’t going to hire me with the rumours they spread… Are they? And I am fucking working all of the fucking time… and I need a flat… and I want a dog… and… wait a second… how much are people making for digging my brain, recording it’s waves and traumatising me? WAIT! First the V2K staff… Huh, how much are you making an hour to harass and rape me? I do more than half of your job! Care to share your salary hyenas?… What about the others? What could push someone to take action towards hurting someone else or induce their paranoid state?… Again I am wondering? Are they intimidated? Or are they being my datas to make some dirty cash? Make music? Produce series, films, advertisements? Code new websites and algorithms? Write thought reading studies and experimentation reports? Print billboards?… Again… wawaiwaiwaiWAIIIIIIT! Question is not only how much do they get for it but most importantly how much do they fucking MAKE from it…?”

Now we could write our beloved reader a poetic little paragraph to expose all the details BB backed up from what and how it is all organised around her, what acts are performed and capitalism produced, but BB has nothing to prove and certainly not that she can write, so here is a vulgar run down; 

Instagram + Facebook 

Instructed posts about: making sushi, nobody loves her, she likes to have brunch, she often hides under table, her sexual persona is named Mood, cuuuute, she wanna fuck, who are they? Dogs, rats, horses, Unicorns, pink, red… Yak, yak yaaaak. She has precise theories on how instructions present, here is the most likely; Members of her social media entourage probably receive a series of options to choose from and can fashion their stories or posts as wished. Instagram also provides animation to add on their images like the Rat or the Horse one, maybe the fire was a thing too?

Videos made by different video channels, an obvious one is “THE VIEW” on facebook with pop stars and actors; Woopy Goldberg, Alicia Keys (On Instagram: “You at the back, listen and shut up…”; referring to her joke about being a teacher and V2K bad actors being her pupils), Scarlet Johanson and questions about her underwear and body size!!!? What the fuck? Sometimes actuall speaking live of celebrities sometimes just picture montages with written quotes. On suicidal season, some of these videos were called: “If you are about to give up, watch this!”, people said things like, “It’s a story of numbers”… Bla blablablabla   

Tracks under- and over- different scenes 

Describing her actions, loneliness, her writing poems, being ridiculous, liking to walk in Paris, her fears, Her horoscopes, her obsessions…  

Actions 

As mentioned before people crossing her in the street reiterating what she has done the day before, where do they receive these? From whom? Whats app? 

scripts

With subjects to talk about, words to mention, things to remind her, ways of acting or falling down miming her… when to laugh and as loudly as possible please. Often these recent days, she can identify the speeches directed to her because it is performed obviously loud, making her feel like a theatre spectator, she guesses it is to make sure she does hear it over her repetitive thinking mantra loops she has developed and self defence and tactics to avoid repeating offensive and self incriminating sentences like: “I am a pedophile”, or “Black person... hhhmmm nooooo, Big dick” or getting blocked on a genital drumming thought session or “I find her ugly...” Etc EEETTTTCCCC...!

Adds

Relating to her teeth, selling fairy lights for your room, denouncing capitalistic routine, Job offers… this list is endless and could spiral towards unrealistic revelations.   

Audio announcements in Public spaces or billboards 

Radio 

Programme relating to her struggles, comments and jokes making fun of her 

Tape recording sold in shops she regularly visit

Talking about her refusal to work… “Warum Nicht?”, Her Birthday… 

Without counting weird emails

From company she uses telling her they like their customer well caffeinated, people advertising their music to be featured on her radio…

And we could keep that up for a while, but our tired anti-hero has it up up UP over her head to try and prove she really does know about it all while getting harassed with contents making her feel bad for placing herself in the middle of it all: “The world is not turning around you BB” Friends would say some years back. 

Now lets point out all the money she has had and still have to spend to survive, no wait, another waste of time? It is utterly obvious; medicines too calm down, machinery to find out more about the electro harassment, countless hard drives to save her datas, replacing her fucked up devices, or simply time spent researching and unveiling Patriarchal societies secret studies and machineries to learn and spread awareness so to build a network of allies. Then there is all the drug taking and urge to spend that is induced by the Bastards… Getting fired, not being able to find a job, what else… cream for wounds… food to eat her lack of affection… massages to undo her nerves that are conducting the electro current through her limbs to her brain, LUNCHES, BRUNCHES!

Do you believe BB deserves to get reimbursed? Do you believe she deserves to get paid even? How much could they have generate from their tests, products, results and new high tech machine building, or add placing on social medias, or could we go down in this darker deeper hole of wondering if they make money from the audience avid to follow the thinking series of her intimidation? She thinks 50/50 sounds right, but as it is a story of numbers, and hers is 33! 

BB: “Soooo Double that... Mmmhhh... What about 66% of your studies earnings nasty rat-bags? If you want to share your illegal cash born out of my fucking brain waves, do that! send me a fucking email or transfer direct into my bank account you know the passwords and details from by heart, I might be able to get on writing my book, make art, music, get onto my project to empower womxn to speak without fear, now that I am an expert at it!

#whistleblower #bbwomans #mind control activism #individual control #exploitation #theft