#*calls the office*

[avarkriss]

listen. listen to me so carefully right now. (if you're in the eclipse path/planning on viewing). please don't stare directly at the sun tomorrow. i am begging you - do not stare at it. if you got eclipse glasses off of amazon/other, please put them on in your house and make sure you can't see anything; if you can still see like regular sun glasses, they are not safe for eclipse viewing, you will burn your retinas, and we cannot fix that. eclipse glasses should be iso/ce certified, and aas (american astronomical society) approved. please make smart choices and protect your eyes. please.

#psa from your friendly neighborhood eye care provider #the office is already fielding so many calls about this make good life choices #very important #eclipse #solar eclipse #eye health #not medical advice #just me screaming to please protect your eyes #ive seen exactly one case of solar retinopathy in my career so far please don't give me another one

[skellydun]

Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:

me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?

girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.

me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?

me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--

girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.

me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D

girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?

me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?

girl whispering: what?

me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.

girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!

me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?

#JUST KNOW IF UR EVER AWKWARD ON THE PHONE ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD #She was my first call of the day and I was like Girl please let me cancel all my other calls so I can learn more about u #Ur interviewing in TN but lets be friends #sometimes my job is funny #and then the rest of the day i kept thinking how relentless is this day #and then some douche hole sent me a demeaning email and i was annoyed so it's really ups and down of the office world

[ghostbsuter]

"I can see dead people." He mentions with a shrug, using the chopsticks to fish more noodles into his mouth.

Dick stares at him. "Huh."

"Is that why you help?" He asks, getting more spring rolls.

"Yeah. Once someone becomes a ghost, word gets out quick, and they come to me. Always tatling about unfairness and justice." The kid waves the words around, rolling his eyes.

Dick just pretens to he uninterested, despite his mind racing at the new info. He is piecing past moments together, every shadow leaping away, every note with tips, leads and—

Huh.

"Do you... like it? Doing all that?" Richard approaches thus carefully, brows furrowed at the kid opposite of him.

Danny moves his head, giving a 'so-so' answer. "It's not much to like, I can see ghosts, and they know it and use it. If it brings them to peace or whatever– well, that's just a plus."

Dick stares. He places his chopsticks down and looks at Danny worried.

In turn, the kid sighs. "Sometimes gifts become curses the longer you have it."

And Dick understands.

Mind made up, he throws a pair of keys at the kid, watching fondly as the other catches them with confusion.

"Next time use these, instead of entering through the window."

Danny mock-salutes with a shit eating grin. "Yes, Officer grayson."

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #fic prompt #writing prompt #dc x dp prompt #dick really got a kid now huh #dick: oh wow how did you get in here #danny: *fist down a cereal box and cheeks syuffed full eith food* wdym #he annoys dick during his police hours #he doesnt even blink twice when he later catches him tyring to sneak in as nightwing #dick got the most chill kid ever #dick telling bruce of how easy danny is: :D #dick then finding out about every horrifying and downright traumatic wvent in ddannys past: D: #hes calling connie raven and black canary #for the ghosts and much needed therapy #dick abt danny: what a good kid! #dick abt danny after: oh god youre traumatsied #he's parenting so hard he should get an award #tbf danny gives him a makeshift trophy with “best officer pops.ever” in glittery pen

[the-chaos-goose]

#spamton #this has breached containment #i am scared #HOW HAS THIS HIT 1000 NOTES #4K NOTES… #6.7K NOTES?? #hello tumblr #we’ll abandon the scenery in theee DIVORCE OFFICE #/ref #15K NOTES. #WHAT THE HELL??? #the more tags the better #This is canon I asked Toby myself/j #one day this is gonna have more tags than any other post #why? Why not #my lovely misinformation #HELP MY NOTIFS #Lmao is there a tag limit #imagine if I cause a tag limit #fun fact about be I got called cool by airy’s VA aand I will never stop talking about that #I almost deleted this by accident #that would’ve been a disaster #imagine If this ends up on a pm Seymour video #oh god that’d be horrifying #why do people copy and paste the tags on thi #No rlly wtf #20K #AFTER THE SWEEPSTAKES THING THIS IS PERFECT #30K #this post later longer than a relationship

[yuri-is-online]

I need to pick a different naming theme for my goats

#stardew valley #uhhh osha violation didn't fit so the baby is called officer down

[shininas-ideals]

Co-workers.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #kunikidazai #POV you're Fukuzawa calling your employees to your office #New text from Mori: now you see the shit I had to deal with? #fanart #digital art

[superbellsubways]

silly idea i had last night

#i dont have a real name for them yet but internally ive been calling them Walter #they work in the same office as clippy and the others #virtual assistants #object head #doodle #things are subject to change

[artiststarme]

Steve and Eddie have a fight and give each other the silent treatment for eight days. Within the week, Eddie is arrested on a multitude of bullshit charges and Uncle Wayne has to pick him up from the sheriff’s department every other day, each time progressively more confused and exasperated. Who the fuck could get arrested for disturbing the peace four times in the same week and why was it apparently Eddie?

Eddie has no idea what he did to warrant all the arrests and assumes that Officer Callahan is on some sort of weird power-trip for that entire week. He doesn’t notice that it stops as soon as he makes up with Steve.

It’s only when he sees Officer Callahan, Officer Asshole as he lovingly refers to him, at Steve’s Christmas dinner that he discovers that they’re brothers. In hindsight, it makes all of Callahan’s hatred make a lot more sense.

Even after he finds out though, Phil still arrests him for various charges whenever he hears that Eddie pissed off Steve. Disturbing the peace, gross negligence, making Phil’s life harder; all reasons that Eddie has been arrested for but never charged with. And yet, the Munson idiot that Phil’s brother is in love with hasn’t yet learned his lesson. Luckily for him, Phil will keep it up until he does.

#eventually Eddie just starts calling Phil himself #‘hey man listen… you’re going to get a call from Steve about me forgetting our anniversary. it was a mistake and we can forgo the usual’ #Phil still shows up with a bitchy side-eye and handcuffs #he does stop charging Wayne a bond for each of Eddie’s stupidities though #stranger things #steddie #ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #officer phil callahan #officer callahan is steve’s brother

[romulussy]

it’s so funny to me how succession episodes feel like sixty minute psychotic breaks but the descriptions are always just like “the roys try to make a business deal. tom makes a phone call. greg is there.”

#no wonder my brother called it yassified the office #succession

[cemeterything]

i've said this before but it's an endless source of amusement to me how hypocritical and petty the interpersonal drama between the tma avatars is... our noble patrons of the dread powers vs. their sicko cultists. that being said there is definitely something uniquely fucked in the head about the ones that kept larping as regular guys at their day jobs instead of quitting all that to psychologically torture people with magic tricks.

#🐉 #elias was a sicko not because he built a panopticon to turn the entire world into his own personal perverted on demand streaming service #but because he genuinely enjoyed doing admin at his stupid gay office job #daisy calling him a freak was peak stones in glass houses behaviour but she wasnt wrong is the thing #tma

[deadsetobsessions]

Tim had forgotten, in his one man (and the admittedly liberal usage of hired guns) crusade at everything that had hurt his family, that he was technically a child. A time traveling 21 year old Tim Drake in his younger body, sure, but he’s still a nine year old child.

Tim was violently, unpleasantly reminded of this as he opened his front door to… Gotham Primary’s truancy officer.

Oh shit. He still had to go to school. Tim scrambled for an excuse.

“Hello, Timothy. Are your parents home?”

“Uh- no, sir. Only my nanny. I’ve been really,” think, Timothy, think! Are you Red Robin for nothing? “really sick. She went out for some medicine.”

Tim knew what the officer saw as he looked down at him, a pale, drawn little boy who looked like a sickly Victorian child. He has no idea that Tim had the beginnings of lean muscles and strong grip strength underneath his baggy clothes.

“I see. I’ll have to talk to your nanny, then. We need to be informed of when you’re ill, Timothy.”

“Oh. She-” shit, shit, shit! “Doesn’t speak English.” Was that racist? That felt racist. Gods, he probably sounds like a snobby classist elite. “I’ll let my mom know to email you, sir?”

The truancy officer sighed. By Tim’s lucky stars, he agreed. The man pulled out a singular paper from his plastic folder, clearly used to this kind of thing, especially from the elites of Gotham, and said, “Email the school. And have her sign this note, please.”

Tim nodded seriously. Like hell he would.

When the officer was gone, Tim closed the gate immediately. He had forgotten to close it after getting back home from stalking the Bats last night. Well, Bat, singular, because Jason was still benched.

Tim sighed, grabbing a pen to fluidly forge Janet Drake’s signature on his paper about truancy and proper procedures and what not. Then, he moved to the computer, easily stealing his mother’s credentials, emailing the school about his sick leave, and their decision to have him home schooled.

He’d miss Ives, but honestly, Tim needed the free time. Plus, maybe this way, he’ll graduate high school this time around. He drafted another email to the counselor, asking them what kind of curriculum and tests he needed to pass to obtain future degrees and what not.

He gets an email back, with all of the testing required and the steps “Young Timothy” should take in order to succeed in the rest of his academic career. Tim would like to point out he’s nine, and that this was pretentious. Helpful, sure, but pretentious all the same.

“That’s what people don’t mention about time traveling. It’s all fun and games until you get hit with the mundane and tedious things.” Tim muttered, setting up his appointments for testing. He’ll have to find someone to drive him to the tests…

His mind turned to his neighbors… hm. That’s a possibility.

Tim wiped all traces of his activities from his mother’s email, doing a quick and hidden bit of rerouting to get any educational emails regarding him sent to his own inbox.

Tim swigged a mouthful of coffee and continued on his merry way.

His new goal?

Find Cassandra Cain.

#Tim drake #Timothy drake #Batman #red Robin #time traveling tim drake #time travel fix it #scheming tim drake #Tim drake vs truancy officer #listen I went to a private school #they legit called me ‘young’ in an email to my mother #Tim drake vs the education system #Tim Drake and his mortal enemy: school #tim: I will never finish high school

[alena-draws]

Studio Orange's official Tristamp Kimono artwork is up!!

Now, will THIS be the day Wolfwood will finally get to eat his noodle soup?? Stay tuned! (Or not) Happy New Year everybody!

#I wanted to draw their outfits #now I drew nearly nothing because they are all sitting #how did this happen?? #trigun #trigun stampede #wolfwood #vash #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #roberto de niro #fanart #and that officer guy who's apparently called #Chuck lee

[poordrunkensoulll]

#better call saul #jimmy mcgill #saul goodman #ever want to destroy a man #breaking bad #come fly with me #come fly with me saul goodman #saul goodman balloon fiesta #this was on the wall of his office. what kind of marketing is this? good marketing

[lazybutsmexy]

Incorrect COD quotes

Mystery

Price: so, who is responsible for this?

Gaz: I...I found it like th-

Price: I know, Gaz. I wasn't asking you.

Price *looks pointedly at Ghost, Y/N and Soap*: Who. Did. This.

Y/N *cannot handle unresolved tension*:...I did it. I'm sorry.

Price: I don't believe you. *Stares at Soap*

Soap *offended*: it wasn't me!

Price: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!

Ghost *did it*: yeah, what the fuck, Soap.

#S: based loosely on that Office ep #i have never watched the office but the gifset was funny #incorrect call of duty quotes #cod mw2 incorrect quotes #cod incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes cod #incorrect cod quotes #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain johnathan price #kyle gaz garrick #task force 141 x reader #task force 141 #cod mw2 #cod mwii

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!

#cw gore #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done #in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon #i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME #THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS #OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM... #THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART #vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office #i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine #they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE #guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more.... #OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED #the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired #oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day.... #in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!! #THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE. #THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!! #I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM #OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.

[artiststarme]

Steve looking up at Uncle Wayne as the father figure he never had. Unlike his dad, he doesn’t cheat or disappear from his life when things get tough. Eddie loves it because it means he can see his boyfriend even more. It’s all fun and games until Steve goes to his father figure to complain about his boyfriend leaving him at a McDonald’s after a fight they had. Then Eddie has to deal with an upset boyfriend, a disappointed uncle, and an angry Robin to boot.

He has no choice but to take desperate measures. Eddie tells Hopper that Wayne is trying to take his “cool dad” spot in the Party and watches the chaos unfold.

By time anyone realizes what he’s done, he’s made up with Steve and escapes another murderous rage by the skin of his teeth. Mission accomplished, indeed.

Should I make this into a longer fic? I feel like I could go places with this lol

#afterwards Hopper and Wayne have a heart to heart about who is adopting Steve #they break out into a fight in the diner and the other deputies get called on Hop #which was a bad idea because then Officer Callahan throws his hat in the ring for adopting steve #after all how could ‘two randos about his brother from under his nose?’ #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #uncle wayne #chief jim hopper #just a little something something