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#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -
aroaessidhe · 7 months
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2023 reads
The Deep Sky
scifi mystery thriller
on a deep space mission traveling from an environmentally devastated earth with hope to restart humanity elsewhere
when they’re halfway, an explosion kills 3 crew and pushes them off course
the only witness is the Alternate who has no specific role, and she has to figure out who caused it & if they might continue to sabotage, while they're figuring out a way to get back on course with limited resources
flips between present and the past: of her childhood and training for the mission, her identity struggles, and relationship with her mother
questions the ethics of ‘restarting’ humanity elsewhere vs putting resources into fixing earth
#the deep sky#yume kitasei#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really loved this!!!!!#very intense but also a lot of interesting character introspection#love the virtual reality AI aspect!!!! though I do feel like. in the end I was expecting it to go way further with it?#(basically like instead of seeing the inside of the ship all the time they can 'be' in forests or aquariums or whatever)#no romance#(there’s side lesbians; and one flashback scene where she briefly wonders about kissing a random person; that's it)#emotional core about her mother and brother and best friend !!#i like that it gets into the flaws of 'humanity's last hope on another planet' bc like. yeah in real life things....don't work like that...#why is there zero acknowledgement that the concept of every one of them being expected to give birth being extremely fucked up?#like obviously everyone on board is there because they agreed with that but there’s not a single flashback of#when they found out that information; or mention of someone questioning it...#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -#eugenics around that is iffy to say the least)#but to me. pregnancy is horrifying and nobody questioning that was weird.#also there’s supposedly 80 people on board but we get to know less than 10 of them which felt a bit strange at points#Also! I love the cover. I can’t find the designer (the book info only credits the internal lllustrator..)#also: bird facts!
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nepenthendline · 4 years
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Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto
All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters
You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!
This is going to be long
TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm
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Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD
Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar
I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while
Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)
His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’
Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that
His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head
His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect
This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic
Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)
Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point
He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help
He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people
The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions
Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
wow what a smooth segue 
this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD
Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)
He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry
Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared
He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day
Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives
He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse
Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)
ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated
It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression
Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
autism buds with kageyama
I kid thats probably a bad idea
Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5
Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age
While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder
Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’
Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older
His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally 
@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol 
He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it
Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across
He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods
It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression
Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)
Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school
This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety
Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details
No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly
It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme
Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker
He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much
He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic
When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too
Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school 
Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’
He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts
As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima
Bokuto - ADHD
A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD
He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old
Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts
He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves
Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen
He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts
He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours
Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something
The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted
They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else
I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!
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