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#(but still come on twink slade)
navree · 10 months
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my adventures with superman turning deathstroke the fucking terminator into an anime twink is the single greatest thing i've seen in the history of animation i have not been able to stop laughing
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nightwingvixen23 · 4 years
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💋The Real Mob Wives Of Gotham City🍎
                                        Episode fucking 1 : 
 “Don’t smoke in my mutha fuckin house ya lil’ twink”
*door’s of Wayne Manor slamming open*
Selena : Who’s that ??
Tim : *appears* 
Jason : . . .
Talia : . .
Rose : ..
Dick : *loudly drinking wine*
Tim : check this out *showing off wedding ring* Kon and I made this official 
Dick : Oh my GAWD it’s delicious !
Jason : You little hoe’s wanna see a REAL rock ? BAM ! *slams hand down onto kitchen counter/glistening wedding ring stacked as fuck* choke on THAT bitches, eat your ******’ hearts out, get wet over it; you know I love that ****
Tim : ooooh. my. GAWD. JASON ! why is everything such a ******* competition with you !
Jason : nothin’s a competition here sweetie, I was just showin’ us all who’s husband really cares to spoil their wife here
Dick : *pouting into his wine glass*
Talia : *eyes rolled* this is honestly why I don’t like hanging out with you goomahs...
Rose: I’m over here, questioning why I even show up, because, why would I hang out with the man that my dad is ******* ?
Dick : ok let’s get one lil’ thing straight here hon, I am not just the man your dad is *******, we’re MARRIED and you are my DAUGHTER. We’re F A M I L Y
Tim : Can we go back to me please ?? Hellooooooo !! Like, I thought this was a safe place where I could *tearing up* share my ******* feelings and like *whiny voice* celebrate a milestone between me and my fiance with you all but I guess not
Jason : boo ******* hoo
Tim : I don’t need this. I’m done. it’s over
*ominous music playing*
Jason : such a princess. 
Tahlia : If Tim is a princess then what the hell does that make you Jason ?
Dick : Oh honey, don’t do this...
Talia : No no, *sits wine glass aside* I am going to do this. Everyone’s so afraid to stand up to him, I’m sick of it ! What are you, huh Jason ? Feelin like the big bad ass mob bitch just ‘cause you’re riding Roman’s **** ?
Rose : *mouth falling open dramtically*
Jason : Excuse you but um *laughter* I am the one with my thighs wrapped around his neck every night choking his ass halfway to Heaven so I ain’t no princess sweetie, I’m the mother ****** Queen 
Tim : god damn all this. I need a smoke *lights cigarette*
Selena : there’s no smokin’ in my house ya lil’ twink !
Tim : so you think just ‘cause you married my daddy that you can tell me what to do ? *puts cigarette between lips* screw off puttana
Selena :*fighting for the cigarette with Tim*
*ominous music getting more ominous*
*Gotham City Mob wives looking around frantically*
Dick: *pouring more wine*
*distant splash*
Dick : *distracted/wine splashing over wine glass*
Tim : *walking in from the outside patio/cigarette between his lips* Just pushed Selena into the ******* pool. Mommie Dearest isn’t gonna snag my cig
Bruce : *appears* you WHAT ?!
Tim : i drowned your kitty kat
Bruce : *rushing outside to the patio*
*mob wives gathering by the patio doors to watch Bruce strip shirtless and dive into the pool after a struggling Selena*
Jason : I don’t get it. Why do you have a pool if Selena can’t swim
Dick : it’s for looks obviously
Bruce : *helping a drenched Selena back into the manor*
Selena : *mascara dripping thick down her face*
Tim : you look like a drowned rat
Selena : get outta my house
Tim : *blows smoke ring into her face* make me
*cuts to solo interview with Dick* 
Dick : *puts fake phone to his ear* Hi, yes, 911 ?? I’d like to make a missing persons report because my little sweetheart Timmers has just been replaced with a bad bitch. Yes thank you *hangs up fake phone*
*cuts back to Selena drenching wet glaring at Tim*
Bruce : Put out the cigarette Timothy
Tim : but daddy, you smoke cigars all the time
Selena : And stop calling my husband daddy
Tim : He’s my father
Dick : He’s our father
Jason : we all call him daddy
Talia : quite the jealous little haugty that you’ve remarried Bruce *holds wine glass up* sorry I couldn’t attend the wedding, but *takes a drink* here’s my late toasting and congrats galletto 
Bruce : If there was one thing that I could have done differently on the day that I met you Talia, it was that I would have turned the hell away
Talia : . .
Dick : oop 👀
Tim : I’m outta cigs. Jay, run me up the street 
Jason : *wraps an arm around Tim* I’ve got you mimmo *walking by Selena and Bruce/twin glares*
Selena : Bruce, your son’s are toO MUCH FOR ME !
Dicks : The money sure ain’t
Rose : *eyeing the back of Dick’s head for his comment*
*cuts to solo interview with Rose*
Rose : okay. . . *deep breath*. . .but like. . . *long nails tapping*.  . . can someone just tell me why this homewrecking bitch is even talking ?? Liiiike....I’m just—I just—I’m so over this— *gets up/leaves interview*
*cuts back to Selena still drenching wet [someone get this woman a fuckin’ towel] stomping away from Bruce*
Selena : Not only is one son a tyrant from hell, but the other is an imp disguised as an angel, THIS ONE *snatches wine bottle from Dick* keeps drinking all of MY ******* WINE !! and don’t even get me started on D A M I A N 
Talia : oh no we can get ******* started *taking off earrings* what about my piccolo, go ahead, what about him 
Bruce : *coming between ex wife and current wife*
Talia : WHAT ABOUT HIM, don’t ******* talk about my lil’ cucciolo if you can’t back it up  with a fist !
Selena : *seething*
Dick : *snatches wine back* sorry but it ain’t your wine Mommie Dearest, it’s daddies wine
Bruce : Selena, how about going upstairs and taking a bath. I could use it too. calm down, cara
Selena : *sighing*. . .*leaving the kitchen*
Bruce : and just know this—
Selena : *stops*
Bruce : —my boys are my boys. they come first. you’re not to disrespect them again. Now, I’ll be up to join you shortly
Selena : *going off in spanish*
*run those fuckin’ ending credits yo. I don’t pay ya’ll shit but you signed up for this job, so if ya wanna c o m p l a i n  i’ll be in my office going down on a bottle of Hennessy bitches thx*
💋Up Next on :The Real Mob Wives of Gotham City. .🍎
Slade : *talking lowly with his Consigliere*
Dick : babe
Slade : *ignores Dick*
Dick : ...*unbuttons shirt/poses provocitively* ...hey, sexy ace; look
Slade : *no response*
Dick : ..
Slade : *talking to Consigliere*
Slade : You’re dismissed
Consigliere : *leaving*
Dick : *locks eyes with retreating Consigliere*
Dick : . . 
Dick :
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adventures-with-ana · 2 years
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✧ All works are 18+ only minors are not welcome here.
✧ Unless otherwise stated works are written in first person and labeled ‘x OFC’, but narrator descriptions are not specified and can still be read as self inserts.
✧ I do not give my permission to have my works copied, translated, or reposted anywhere. My works will only ever be posted here, or on my ao3. If you see my work posted anywhere else please let me know!
✧ I make no promises (because my brain is mush), but if you have a request or an idea I’m always open to fresh inspiration. ♡
✧ Fics are separated by fandom and then by character; listed from oldest to newest. (If you’re on desktop the Masterlist page link has better sorting options.)
✧ Last update: April 11, 2024
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* MARVEL *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Loki
Bruises — 3.352 // ao3 // tumblr When Loki goes away on royal business, he leaves behind signs of his love.
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Bucky Barnes / Winter Solider
Ruined — 2.014 // ao3
Bucky Barnes: professional cockblock and annoying roommate.
Wet and Wild — 2.064 // ao3
If your brothers best friend is supposed to be off limits, then why’s he so hot?
Winter Nights — 5.036 // ao3
After confessing my deepest sexual desire to Bucky, I never thought he’d follow through with it. I was wrong.
More to Love — 1.518 // tumblr // ao3
Informing one Bucky Barnes that being bigger than your average twink doesn’t make him any less sexy.
Wrong Number — 3.089 // tumblr // ao3
This was not the time to accidentally text the hot guy who lived across the hall from my apartment instead of my best friend.
Snowball Fight — 505 // tumblr
Winter with the Winter Soldier is exactly as cold as it sounds.
Hide ‘n’ Seek — 6.761 // tumblr // ao3
To protect his only daughter and heir from harm, the King has his hands full with finding her a guard. What happens when she falls for the latest one?
Anticipation — 488 // tumblr // ao3
A nervous tick just might lead surprising places.
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Eddie Brock / Venom
Left Out — 1.850 // ao3
Dating Eddie is usually all fine and dandy, until a certain symbiote feels left out.
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Otto Octavius / Doc Ock
Something New  — 1.534 // tumblr // ao3
Suggesting something new in the bedroom could be disastrous sometimes, but maybe not all the time.
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Yelena Belova
Relax — 766 // tumblr // ao3
Sparring, injury, rest. It was a pattern with Yelena.
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* OTHER *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Henry Cavill
Stay Quiet  — 614 // tumblr // ao3
Cock warming a man while he plays video games was either the worst idea, or the best.
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Jake Jensen
Thank You Girl — 580 // tumblr // ao3
There was a custody battle over the most important item in the house: the glasses cleaner.
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Kylo Ren/Ben Solo
Breaking the Rules  — 8.637 // tumblr // ao3
Risking certain death for a simple shower turned out to have some pretty interesting consequences in the end.
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Lee Bodecker
Pepsi Cup — 480 // tumblr // ao3
After a certain confession from Lee, how could anyone pass up the novelty underwear that paired with it so well?
Small Town Life — 5.688 // tumblr // ao3
Being forced to live in Knockemstiff was some kind of cruel and unusual punishment, but there was a reward waiting at the Sheriff's station for the trouble.
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Slade Wilson
Daddy’s Home — 3.954 // tumblr // ao3
After eighteen days away on a business trip, Slade has a lot to make up for.
Punishment  — 573 // tumblr // ao3
Taking the quiet intimacy of being in his lap and turning it into a punishment was torture, but it didn’t come without it’s rewards.
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thepoppypress · 3 years
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The Battleline Between Good and Evil (Runs Through the Heart of Every Man)
Chapter 5: 
Dick crouched to the ground of the newly destroyed building, bodies scattered around him, large smiles painted on their faces as the last remnants of their life before it ended. Tim looked up from his phone, a furrow between his brows.
“Jim says that he can get us another ten minutes before cruisers show up.” Jason sat atop a table, a seemingly bored expression on his face but his brothers knew better. A sharp eye roved over the scene, and it was increasingly obvious who had attacked the shop.
“I don’t get it,” Dick muttered, an intense look on his face. “Joker’s been underground for the better part of this year, after what happened with Jay.” Jason grinned ferally at the remembrance of what had happened last year.
‘Fun,’ the eviller part of his mind muttered and he wholeheartedly agreed.
“Anything to note, Timmers?” Jason drawled as he leaned back on his arms, his shortest brother glancing at him irritatingly.
“We already know who did it. The question is why? Why would the Joker attack a seemingly random store?” Tim sighed and snapped photos of relevant scenes, pocketing his phone when he was done. “Whatever. We can deal with this later. Dick, we have a meeting with Zee later about the drug and arms trades with the Russians in about an hour and our ten minutes here is almost up. Let’s go.”
The brother’s nodded and headed out together, and as Jason started to go a separate way, not at all interested in the dealing side of his family’s mob, the words out of Dick’s mouth caused him to pause.
“Wait, I know this place,” Dick noted, blue eyes darting around with a grin slowly building on his face. “This is where Peter lives.” Jason turned around, his expression matching Dick’s: predatory.
“He lives here?” Tim raised an eyebrow at the dinginess of the place around them. “I can’t decide whether or not it’s apropos of him.”
“I know. I tried to give him some money and he just gave it back.” Tim hummed.
“What did Slade say? ‘Looks like my sweetheart doesn’t accept charity very well?’”
“Also, isn’t that kinda irresponsible of the Golden Son of Gotham?” Jason mocked, causing Dick to smirk. The handsome man crossed his arms and observed his surroundings.
“Like it really puts a dent in our plans. It was barely anything.” Tim looked up at his older brother, blue eyes curious as he ruffled his long hair, scowling when it got snagged in a knot. He needed a shower when he got home.
“How much was it exactly?”
“100,000 US dollars.” Neither of his younger brothers blinked.
“I know. That’s what I said.”
-----
“You sure this is where that chick lives, Timbo?” Jason asked with trepidation as they dodged another seedy person, eyeing them underneath a ballcap as they slinked past. Tim didn’t even look at the person, squinting at his phone, texting Jim about what he had on Harley Quinn.
“About 99.9 percent sure that this is where she lives. Considering that she’s the only friend Peter Parker has right now that isn’t associated with us, he’s sure to be living with her. And she has thorough ties to the Joker, and even though she said that she broke up with him when we met her last, she’s pretty well known by a lot of our other associates without even being related to Jokes.”
“Where did Jim say she lived?”
“Apartment 206,” Tim answered as they climbed the stairs. The elevator was broken so there was no other alternative. The three Wayne boys eyed the walls and surrounding scenes as they walked through the apartment building, where the security was so lax that the guard at the door didn’t even look up as they went through the front door. There was no electronic security to Tim’s knowledge and Jason’s quick look at the guard said the man did nothing but look at pornographic magazines all day.
By the time they had made it all the way to the apartment, they were less than impressed with the place. In fact, it made them want to get Peter out of there as soon as possible. Even if that meant housing Harley Quinn along with him.
“I’m calling Kara once I get home. I need her to speed things up.” Tim stared at his brother, blue eyes curious and questioning.
“Kara? Is she gonna do something here?” Dick looked up and down the hallway, just in case somebody heard.
“I’m having her, uh, redecorate the building. Meanwhile, I already have a nice apartment lined up for Petey and his friend, near the Manor. Penthouse suite and everything and only we’ll have access outside of Peter and Harley.” Jason and Tim grinned together, already liking the plan. The building was already a fire hazard (and let’s be honest, a bunch of other hazards) just waiting to happen. All they needed was an explanation for the apartment. It was perfect.
“Alright,” Tim announced as he slowed to a stop in front of Apartment 206, “we’re here.”
They knocked on the door.
-----
Tony was panicking. After FRIDAY had alerted him of Peter’s disappearance, he accessed the footage that was always rolling in the lab. What he saw shocked him.
Peter sat in the lab, minding his own business and tinkering around when out of nowhere, a rip, right in the air above Peter’s head opened, light spilling from it. How the spiderling didn’t notice was beyond him. Then, as if he was liquid, the image of Peter distorted, almost like something sucking in water, and within a second, he was gone, the rip disappearing with him.
Tony gaped at the footage while Stephen frowned at it. There was definitely some sort of magic going on with this. Through his own magic, he could see deep purple lining the edges of the rip as his husband rewatched the video again and again. Something was fishy. He would have to do his own research later. He glanced down at the smaller man.
But his husband would have to come first. Knowing him, he’d start blaming himself and spiral. It was something Stephen wouldn’t have, especially if he could prevent it before it could happen. Grabbing Tony by the arm, he tugged him towards his chest and embraced him while his husband started sobbing into his chest.
“Where could he be?! I thought you were the only one who could travel between dimensions?! Who could’ve done this? I-” he continued to babble and sob, losing his mind. Peter was one of the best things that ever happened to Tony. What the hell happened?
Stephen shushed him, knowing it wasn’t the best time to mention anything yet. He needed Tony to calm down before they continued with any plan. Resting his chin on the top of his husband’s head, Stephen narrowed his eyes.
There was something suspicious going on. It went beyond even him, Sorcerer Supreme. He sighed mentally.
‘Time to bring in the big guns.’
-----
“So, your name is Damian?” Peter tilted his head, doe brown eyes adorably large. The man sitting across from him, Damian, his mind supplied, was stiff and slightly haughty looking.
“Yes,” he answered shortly, looking at Peter as if he was a particularly slow pedestrian, like he was obliging him but Peter was a hindrance in him getting on with his day. Peter rolled his eyes mentally.
‘Just like Happy,’ he thought fondly before his heart clenched, an ache appearing in his chest. He missed his world so much.
Damian noticed the little frown on the (much) smaller man’s face and it just looked so much like a puppy that he almost wanted to do anything to bring a smile on his face, wanted to save him for some reason and that made Damian grit his teeth. Just last week, he had literally split a man in half using only his katana. Why the fuck would a little twink like the one in front of him make him feel such things now, of all times?
‘How inconvenient,’ he thinks with a scowl. Despite what every enemy of his family thinks, he did have feelings. It was just that he could think without them. Usually. When a slight flinch appeared on the twi- Peter’s face, he did his best to try to smooth out his expression. Internally, he was roaring.
‘Dammit!’
“So, uh,” Peter started awkwardly, “have you been here long?” Damian gave a light scoff.
‘If he doesn’t know who I am, he hasn’t been here long.’ Across from him, Peter’s lips twitched downward.
‘He probably thinks I don’t know who he is. I know, you prick, I just don’t care.’ However, Peter got the vibe that this man was more physically dangerous than his brothers so he refrained from saying anything. He wasn’t one to keep pushing his luck.
“I’ve lived here long enough.” Peter stared at him expectantly and Damian, looking at Peter like he was that pedestrian again, answered in more detail. “I lived with my mother until I was ten and then she let me go live with my father. I’m nineteen now, so I’ve been living with him for nine years.”
‘So, he didn’t know his father until he was ten.’ The slight twitch in his brow and the darkening of his green eyes caught Peter’s attention. Being the observant person he was, something dawned on him. It was bitterness. ‘He didn’t even know who his father was until he met him.’
“Cool.” Damian snorted sardonically.
“If you say so.” A small silence stretched between them with Damian sipping on his drink (‘a black coffee,’ Peter thought with a small twist of his face. ‘Disgusting.’) and Peter glancing out the window. His eyes caught the movement of something large and black with something yellow-ish blonde wiggling all over it. It was Titus, he realized, being infinitely patient with Piper curiously sniffing and jumping all over him. He giggled lightly.
Damian heard a giggle and turned to see Peter gazing out the window at their respective pets. The insolent puppy was bothering Titus while the Great Dane, trained and loyal as he is, stayed still and indulged the puppy, more patient than his master could ever be.
“Where did you get Titus? He’s so nice and quiet. I can never get Piper to be quiet. She’s always yowling and barking, waking up the neighbors and what not. I wasn’t sure if the apartment building I lived in allowed pets but I’ve had her for a few days now and no one’s said anything yet. Except our neighbors. They’re so mad about her, I think they’re gonna tell our landlord soon. You got any tips for making her stay quiet?”
‘Threaten them. Torture them within an inch of their life. Kill them,’ his mind immediately supplied before he shook off the thought. He couldn’t tell Peter that.
“I can’t say,” he started slowly, “Titus was always a very quiet dog. He never needed much training.” Peter started to look put out, and Damian was quick to try and rectify that. He took a page out of his father’s book when dealing with those they needed to keep quiet but couldn’t use the amount of force they wanted. “I’d try giving them a treat when they stop barking and consistently let them know that they’re being good when they don’t bark at random things and people.”
Peter nodded in understanding. That was surprisingly good advice.
“Also, I got Titus from a friend.” Peter analyzed the pain behind his eyes despite the blankness of his face.
“A close friend?” Green eyes narrowed slightly. It seemed that this person was more observant than he thought. It immediately raised his awareness of him.
“Yes,” Damian answered after a short beat, “she was a close friend of mine.” With barely a glance, he could already tell this was a touchy subject area so he went on doing what he did best: ramble.
“Well, I had a few close friends too when I still lived in New York. I’m 21, by the way. Did I mention that? Well, I just did. Anyway-” and he continued.
Damian, knowing that the man across from him refrained from prying about Raven, let him continue babbling with an indulgence that was much like his pet’s. It was quite a while later that he even realized he was kind of enjoying this. With a stranger no less. Eventually, an alarm on Peter’s phone went off. He cursed after he checked.
“Shoot, I have to get to work.” He stood up and grabbed his drink, waiting for Damian to straighten and they both walked out of the cafe, towards their dogs. Once they were actually outside, they both noticed that both dogs were asleep, Titus’ huge body curled protectively around Piper’s. Peter cooed. “It was nice meeting you Damian. Maybe we can do this again sometime? Have Titus and Piper get together for a playdate?”
Horrified at the terminology, Damian could only nod. Peter shot a blinding grin at him.
“Awesome! I guess we’ll see you next time!” Peter crept forward and woke both dogs up, Piper’s head shooting up with an adorable yawn. She stepped out from Titus’ legs and stumbled into Peter’s awaiting arms. He giggled that annoy(ingly cute) giggle and was on his way with a wave. Damian waved back hesitantly. Titus joined him by his side and sat down, staring up at his master, who was staring after that strange boy. Titus huffed, snapping Damian out of his daze. Instantly, he became angry at himself.
‘How can I let myself be lured by a pretty visage? I am the heir to the Demon Head, Ra’s Al Ghul’s grandson, son of the Batman! What disgrace!’ A sneer ripped across his face, so severe it startled passerbys. Then, he realized something.
‘How can I see him again if he doesn’t know how to contact me?’ The frown deepened. ‘Wait, why do I care?’ Damian groaned.
“Come Titus. We’re heading home.” Like the loyal dog he was, Titus trailed after his master, never needing a leash.
Mentally, Titus, ever the intelligent dog, snorted at his master.
'Strange,’ was all he thought.
-----
Harley heard a knock come upon the door. She froze in terror in front of the fridge. Her immediate thought was,
‘What if it’s him?’ She had heard about the incident across the street this morning. Large smiles on the faces of the victims. There could only be one person who committed that kind of atrocity. As if on autopilot, Harley straightened and opened the freezer door, going for the .9 mm and it’s loaded magazine hidden at the back. As quietly as possible, she strapped the magazine in and loaded it. She approached her door and laid the muzzle of the gun against the back of the wood and opened the door with her right hand.
Three pairs of different shaded blue eyes stared back at her. Harley let out a huge sigh of relief before realizing something.
“Wait, how’d you know where I live?!” She pointed an accusing finger at two faces of exasperation and one face of sheepishness.
“We may or may not have asked Jim?” Harley rolled her eyes, muttering something along the lines of ‘police’ and ‘untrustable.’ Tim sighed and got back on track. His brothers could really be a nuisance sometimes.
“Is Peter here?” The alabaster haired girl paused and shook her head no.
“He went out with Piper.” Dick, already knowing who Piper was, smiled a bit. On the other hand, Jason and Tim, who did not know who Piper was, stiffened. Jason’s face showed outrage and Tim’s face went suspiciously blank.
“Who’s Piper?” Tim asked at the same time as the second eldest Wayne shouted,
“He has a girlfriend?!” Harley gave a confused face before she pouted.
“If he has a girlfriend, he’s in such big trouble for not telling me.” Three confused faces of the eldest Wayne boys told her everything.
“Piper is our support puppy. He took her on a walk and should be home any minute now. He’s gonna be late for work if he isn’t.” As if on cue, loud, high pitched barking and the sound of footsteps rounded the corner and the four came face to face with a running Peter with Piper clutched in his arms, not even out of breath. Harley and the Three Stooges watched as Peter barely even glanced in their direction, throwing out a noncommittal,
“Hey Harls,” and ran into the apartment to put on his work clothes after depositing Piper on the couch. Piper, tired after such an eventful morning, curled up instantly and went off to sleep. Harley cooed at the sight. Not even three minutes passed as Peter stumbled out, buttoning the top button of his work shirt and grabbed his bag and keys. He was out the door with a,
“Bye Harley! I’ll see you later tonight!” shouted behind him, running with rushed momentum. The Three Stooges started after him, also calling thank yous to Harley as she watched them run down the stairs with a confused but amused look on her face.
“Boys,” she muttered with exasperation.
Peter glanced at the three men who kept up with him easily with thinly veiled annoyance.
“What do you guys want?” They ran out the front of the apartment building, the guard barely even glancing their way. Jason and Tim exchanged furious looks.
“To take you to work!” Dick answered cheerfully. Peter skidded to halt with a horrified look on his face. Instantly, he started shaking his head.
“No,” he stated with his eyes wide, “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Definitely not.” With that, he started to run again, this time pushing his legs with some of the super strength the bite gave him, easily leaving the brothers in his dust. Nearly at the bus stop, he heard Jason shout,
“Give up, princess! We know where you work! We’ll just go there!”
“Not a chance!” He threw back. The bus, ever faster than even cars in Gotham, sped past him and came to a screeching halt in front of the bus stop.
‘Come on!’ He urged himself with gritted teeth and finally made it on with a large sigh. The bus driver grunted.
“Hurry up kid. I got other stops too.” He nodded sheepishly and went to sit down, the bus leaving after a few seconds, before any of those stalkers could board. He grinned in triumph before remembering that they, in fact, did know where he worked and would definitely come to bother him. He groaned loudly, throwing his head on the back of the disgusting seat before blushing at the amount of shushes he got.
‘Fuck,’ he swore in his head, tugging on his curls in agitation. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuuuck!’
-----
He walked through the door of the Captain’s Bar with apprehension. The instant he entered, his eyes went to the bar where three large backs leaned over the counter in different poses. He rolled his eyes and muttered curses.
‘Of course, with my luck, Slade is here too.’ Then, another large and muscular back crossed the other three, settling into a seat next to Tim (he squinted at the smallest back) with no drink in his hand. Sighing, he passed them and went into the back, wrapping an apron around his waist and taking a deep breath before walking out into the bar. Four grinning faces greeted him and he ignored the stupid ones and smiling only at Slade.
“Hey sweetheart,” he murmured with fondness, deep voice sounding suspiciously raspy (almost like a bedroom voice). Peter blushed slightly and his smile became a tad sweeter.
“Slade,” he greeted, “how’re you?”
“Better now that I’ve seen you.” Peter fought down another blush and in an effort to brush off the comment, looked up at Slade through his eyelashes, a sultry look on his face. Making his voice as teasing as possible, he replied,
“Careful there, Slade. With all that flirting, someone’s gonna think you’re trying to seduce me.” Not expecting the sudden confidence, Slade’s one eye widened before he chuckled a bit and leaned forward a bit more.
“Well, is it working?” Peter, not one to really back down, especially when it comes to his pride, also pushed closer and only stopped when there was barely an inch between their faces. Thanking his past self for putting some gum in his mouth before going to work, he let a small gust of minty fresh breath go towards Slade’s lips and leaned just a bit closer, he whispered,
“Nope.” Slade laughed out loud at that and Peter retreated, a small smile on his face.
“You sure know how to mess with a man, sweetheart.” Peter shrugged, not acknowledging the looks of outrage on the Three Stooges’ faces.
“You’re not exactly my first rodeo, Slade. I’m a grown man. I know how to flirt.” The feelings of outrage on Dick’s face became verbal.
“I will not let you steal him from me!” Dick shouted from the other end of the bar. Jason snorted, though a bit bitter and he was pretty sure it was because of the small man in front of them. Tim was feeling similarly, like he wanted to steal Peter away from the mercenary and hide him away forever, like precious treasure never to be shared.
He was not, however, entirely sure why he felt this for a person he’s barely even met.
“At least let me teach him how to fight before you two rail the poor kid out of his fuckin’ mind.” At that, Peter blushed tomato red and sputtered.
“What?” He nearly screeched. “No one is railing anyone here!” Jason rolled his eyes.
“Sure, whatever, angel. Just remember that you owe me a fight.”
“I owe you nothing!” Then Jason grinned and Peter squeaked a bit, not liking the predatory nature of that look.
“Maybe, if I teach you to fight, you can do some kinky shit with it. Like a chase through the woods at night and whoever catches him can fuck him senseless while the other watches.” Peter became even redder than before and he pointed a finger towards the door with a vehemence that the four men had never seen before.
“OUT! GET OUT!” Jason belly laughed and even then, he sounded like a prowling predator, a hunter ready for the kill. Even Dick blushed a bit but by the looks on both his and Slade’s face, they were really thinking about it. Peter’s eye twitched. “Dick Grayson. Slade Wilson,” he grit out and he enjoyed the slight freeze when he uttered their names with red hot rage. “If you even entertain the idea, then I will never. Never speak to you again. Understood?”
Not wanting to test the irate cutie, they merely nodded. Tim, sitting right next to them, watched with glowing amusement and amazement at how well trained Peter had gotten the two. One of the greatest mercenaries in the world and his ex-boyfriend who happened to be a part of one of the most dangerous mobs in the world. And this small man, this little, cute, and defenseless looking man in front of them had them both wrapped around his little finger.
“See ya,” Jason gave a two fingered salute and he was out the door before Peter could give him another glare (to be honest though, it was like being glared at by a kitten).
“Now that the nuisance is gone,” Tim snorted at that. He liked this kid. He had proven to be smart too. Tim wondered what else he was good at. “What can I get you gentlemen?”
-----
Peter groaned as he flopped onto belly on his makeshift bed next to Harley’s, who was holding Piper in her arms on her own bed.
“What’s wrong, Pup?” He groaned again in response. Harley laughed and nudged him with her bare foot. Peter hissed at the coldness of her toes.
“Harls, you’re freezing.” She rolled her eyes.
“As if you’re not always cold too.” Peter tilted his head at that.
“Touché. I guess we were both freeze babies.”
“Yup,” Harley said with a popped ‘p,’ “now stop avoiding. What’s wrong.” Peter rolled over and blew some brown curls out of his face.
“Men are stupid, Harley. Never ever get with a man.” Harley snorted, her pretty face becoming pained.
“Oh trust me, Pup. I learned my lesson this time around.” Peter’s eyebrows scrunched up and he became concerned for his best friend. He sat up and joined Harley on her perch, Piper instantly climbing onto his lap and wiggling her little butt all over the place. Harley smiled a bit and continued petting the golden retriever puppy.
“Hey,” he whispered and pulled her into a side hug. Peter melted when he felt her snuggling in. “You’ll find someone new who’s even better than a guy who names himself the Joker. I mean, seriously, who names himself that?” Harley, now on the verge of crying, let out a wet laugh before sniffling a bit. “There’s no need to cry over someone so worthless, Harls. You’ll find someone. And even if you don’t, you always have me. I’ll always be here.” Harley leaned outwards a bit and looked at him with fat tears in her eyes, nearly rolling down her cheek.
“Always?” The small voice broke his heart and the look of pure hopelessness completely shattered it.
“Always,” he agreed. She buried her head into his shoulder, trying to keep the tears in. Then, out of nowhere, his Spidey Sense started blaring like it never did before. To be honest, his Spidey Sense was always on alert in Gotham (hell, even in his own New York City, it was alert), but this brought it to another level. Acting without thinking, Peter hoisted Harley and Piper into his arms and ran into the bathroom connecting to the room.
He laid a confused Harley and a barking Piper into the bathtub before rushing to close the door with a slam. He quickly went to his best friend and their pet and climbed in as well, using himself as a shield between them and the door. Bracing one hand above Harley’s head, he used his other arm to pull close the shower curtains and braced for impact. Before Peter could say anything to explain, a large explosion sounded through the thin walls of their apartment. It was directly in the bedroom and had the door shattering and splintering across Peter’s back through the plastic shower curtain. Peter cringed at the loudness of the explosion, his ears protesting.
A maniacal laugh pierced through his ringing ears. Harley and him froze, immediately knowing who this was.
“Oh Harley~” a singsong voice came through and Peter turned around, furiously opening the shower curtains to look at the Joker through their now decimated bedroom wall. “You shouldn’t have left me, darlin’. Now you’re going to regret it~” He said with a loud giggle that sounded all kinds of wrong.
The Joker’s green hair was slick back and a few oily strands fell into his red rimmed eyes, a stark contrast to his paper white skin and the tattoos that littered his face and neck. Yellow teeth clenched together in an angry, sick smile that would probably haunt Peter through his nightmares. “Don’t worry though. It won’t hurt.” Another wider grin stretched across his pale face. “Much.” More laughter.
“You stay away from her!” Peter shouted and in an instant, the smile was gone from Joker’s face. Instead, a sneer, condescending and threatening, replaced it.
“You!” He hissed with conviction. “You’re the one who lured my dear away from me!”
“She’s not yours! She’s not anyone’s! You were abusing her!” He snarled from the bedroom’s hole.
“SHE’S MINE! NO ONE WILL TAKE HER FROM ME! LEAST OF ALL YOU,” he growled, “YOU LITTLE WHORE.” Before he could continue, however, the sound of sirens reached all of their ears. The Joker cursed, more oily strands of hair falling into his face. Using a gloved hand, he pushed the strands out of the way and cursed.
‘If Jimbo’s here, Batsy isn’t too far behind.’ And he didn’t want to get into a fight with such a man when he was so underprepared. ‘Fine,’ he thought petulantly, ‘this will have to wait.’
“Don’t think you’ve seen the last of me! Until next time, my dear!” He grinned that sick grin and wiggled his fingers in goodbye to Harley who had peeked from behind Peter to stare at her ex with horror. “This isn’t over~” He shouted as the helicopter finally left.
Peter stayed in place for a few minutes, even with Harley crying and Piper barking, to make sure he was really gone. Finally, Peter moved carefully and pushed himself away from the wall of the bathtub, helping Harley up who had Piper clenched tightly (not tight enough to hurt her) in her arms. She linked her arms with his and clung to him like a limpet.
Not that he really minded.
She needed him right now. Slowly, they moved towards the hole of their bedroom wall and peeked over to see multiple police cruisers and onlookers gawking at the side of the building. Peter glanced at the other sides of the building and was relieved when he saw that no other holes were blown into it. He then realized that this meant neither him nor Harley had anywhere to stay.
“Fuck,” he cursed, aware of Harley sobbing into his shoulder and getting his hoodie wet. Then he took a closer look at the people down below. “Well, would you look at that? Commissioner Gordon is here.”
-----
Peter and Harley, after assuring Jim (“Just call me Jim, Peter. It makes me feel so stiff when you call me Commissioner.”) that they didn’t need to go to the hospital, their shallow (really his shallow) wounds were treated in the back of an ambulance. He only had a couple of splinters and a few minor cuts where plaster and ceramic from the walls had hit him through the shower curtain.
A few minutes after the last of his wounds were treated (and he had no doubt that they would heal by tomorrow), sound low rumble of cars (if Peter could identify them properly) were alerted to his ears and both him and his friend turned their heads to see two expensive cars rolling up beside the cruisers.
Bruce Wayne and two of his four sons as well as Alfred came out of the car. Bruce, waving on his sons to go ahead, approached Jim with Alfred trailing behind him. Both Dick and Jason rushed up to Peter and Harley, though only having eyes for the smaller man.
“Are you alright?!” Dick practically screamed, taking Peter’s face into his hands and looking him all over, Jason hanging out in the background with his teeth bared. Dick's blue eyes were wide with concern.
“Dick, I’m fine. Let go.” He said but was more than touched at their care. “It’s just a few scratches. Everything’s okay. No one was hurt.” Dick let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping. Peter let out a little giggle that had him snapping his head up to look at his smiling face.
“Why are you smiling?” He asked, exasperated thought a bit fond. He was too cute for his own good sometimes.
“It’s just nice to know that someone cares.” Dick, as tough and unfeeling as he could be, softened at that and he laid a hand on Peter’s bare cheek, marveling at the softness.
“Of course I care.” Peter’s smile widened before it turned to concern when he felt Harley snuggle into his side a little more. Dick chuckled a bit. “Looks like she crashed. Must’ve been a rough day.”
“More than rough,” Peter murmured, not wanting to wake his best friend up. He then heard someone step up to them and looked up to see one of the people he hadn’t seen before. The man was in an EMT outfit but wasn’t one of the people that treated him or anyone else so Peter assumed he was the driver. He wore a bored expression on his face that raised Peter’s hackles a bit. So, as politely as he could, he asked,
“Yes?”
“Hi,” his tone was monotonous, “I’m here to collect your information so we can process you for billing and stuff like that. So, name?”
“Fuck,” Peter muttered, doe brown eyes narrowing in worry. How were they going to pay off an ambulance and medical care? This was America and he was sure that in nearly every version of America out there, it always had expensive health care. “Uh, yeah sure. My name’s-”
Before he could finish, Dick cut in with an obvious fake smile. At least, it was obvious to Peter. And while it was used to disarm people, it only served to frustrate the EMT, if the annoyed look he was giving Dick was anything to go by. In the background, Jason straightened.
“Excuse me but my friend and I were in the middle of a conversation. Could you perhaps ask that man over there? I’m sure he has the information that you’re looking for.” He pointed towards his adoptive father. The EMT looked up at Dick through beady eyes and shook his head.
“Look buddy. This is the dude we need to bill. He’s the one who needed it the most. So if you’ll excuse me-” Jason hauled him off by the back of shirt without a sound, the EMT letting out a strangled gasp as he felt his body being dragged backwards. Dick continued smiling and Jason ignored Peter’s startled shout of his name.
“Wait, Dick. You can’t do that. That’s my responsibility. I-”
“Will let us take care of it. There’s no way that you’ll be able to foot this bill, gorgeous and we’re not able to let you.” Peter hissed, his nose scrunching up adorably.
“Well, it’s not exactly like I can pay you back, can I?” A mischievous smile lit up Dick’s face at that.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.” Another voice cut in, deeper and holding more authority that made Peter immediately bow his head a bit.
“The way you can repay us, Peter,” Bruce Wayne looked at him, eyes soft and body relaxed, “is to let us take care of you. You’ve had a stressful day and so has your friend. We’ll take it from here, so don’t worry.” Jason lumbered over and towered over both his and Harley’s sitting forms as if to intimidate them into agreeing.
“But, sir,”
“Bruce,” the head of the Wayne household immediately corrected, causing Peter to pause.
“Bruce,” he resumed, a bit slowly, as if trying out the name on his tongue, “I couldn’t possibly do that. I was raised better,” he deadpanned, causing Bruce’s lips to twitch a bit. “Harley and I can just go to a motel or something for the night and figure everything out in the morning. Harley, wake up." Peter started to shake Harley, who groaned a bit. "C'mon Harls. We need to go-” He was interrupted again.
“Look, angel. This can either go one of two ways. One is that you accept our help and thank us because we like you and so we’re helping you because of that. Second is that you can refuse, which is totally up to you. But we’ll force our help on you, whether you like it or not, in front of all these people out here. And after the day you’ve had, I’m not so sure you want that. But that’s your problem, not ours. I’m not sure about Dick, but Brucie and I are pretty good with force.” The grin on Jason’s face was sharp and Peter shivered a bit, his Spidey Sense activating to full alarm again. “It’s totally up to you though. So," Dick joined Jason in front of Peter and Harley, face more firm than Peter's ever seen it, "what’s it gonna be?”
Peter was silent for a few moments, staring into the faces of the three Wayne family members and gaging their seriousness. What he saw scared him. The set lines in their faces, the resoluteness of their eyes and the slight tilts of their bodies told Peter they were dead serious; that they were ready to force him to comply if he didn’t do it willingly. Shivering and going against every nerve in his body, he finally agreed.
“Fine,” he said through clenched teeth, glaring up at the rugged and handsome face grinning down at him.
“Knew you’d see it my way, angel.”
-----
He had greeted Alfred on his way in the car, carried in Jason’s arms, while Harley was in Dick’s. Dick had kicked up a fuss about not being able to carry Peter but everyone ignored him. It was kind of funny. The drive back to the Wayne’s house was silent and long and the every bump the car had jostled his small injuries, causing him to wince.
Noticing the flinch, Jason tightened his grip on the smaller man, coincidentally bringing him closer to his chest in an effort to stop his hurt. By the time they had gotten to their residence, Peter was sure some of his smaller wounds had already healed. Stepping out of the car (after refusing Jason’s attempts to carry him again), he marveled at the sight. This wasn’t a house, this was a mansion. It was as large and gothic as the rest of Gotham, with shadows in every crevice and an ancient presence.
“Woah,” he breathed out in awe. Dick sidled up next to him, Harley in his arms (surprisingly, she was still asleep).
“Pretty cool, huh? Wait till you see the inside.” He moved forward, Peter trailing behind with Jason walking next to him and Bruce and Alfred in front. They moved through the front door, Jason closing it behind them without so much as a creak.
“I will go and get your rooms ready. Master Bruce, I assume you will treat our guests with the respect they deserve and make sure to warm them up while I do that?” Bruce, surprisingly, only nodded at the butler’s words and the older man silently left through a hallway, disappearing through the darkness.
“Come on, Peter. I’ll show you to one of the family rooms. Jason, can you get some tea ready?” As silent as a shadow, Jason left Peter’s side through a door opposite to the hallway Alfred left through, presumably to boil some tea.
As he moved through the mansion with Bruce, Dick and Harley (she was still asleep), he couldn’t help but look all around him in awe. It was so cool to him how someone could live in a place like this. It was similar to the Avenger’s Tower but different in that he could tell this place had a lot of history behind it.
They finally arrived through a hallway that led them into a room with a roaring fireplace and a TV above, with bookshelves lining on either side of it. A couple couches and armchairs were situated in front of the fireplace and on one couch sat a large figure, hunched over and elbows on the tops of their knees.
The figure scoffed.
“What was such an emergency that father had to be pulled away but I had to stay, Grayson?” His head turned and his body promptly froze. Green eyes met doe brown and the man couldn’t help yelling out,
“You?!” Peter, not at all surprised, smiled and waved.
“Hey Damian!” Their loud voices woke Harley up, who startled in Dick’s arms and without opening her eyes, pushed her fist upwards, catching the handsome man in the jaw.
“Where’s the fire?!” She slurred, obviously still tired.
“Fuck!” Dick groaned. “I think I chipped a tooth!” Harley started struggling in his arms, causing Dick to nearly drop her. “Damnit Harley, stop wiggling around!” He grappled with her for a moment, while Harley grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be Bruce’s suit sleeve, and pulled, dropping her full weight suddenly. This caused both men to stumble over each other and onto the floor, both grunting the whole way as Harley continued squealing.
Meanwhile, Peter and Damian were locked into a sort of horror/happy staring contest.
Tim stared at the scene in the doorway, cup of coffee (Alfred would scold him for that later. It was worth it.) raised halfway to his lips.
“Well, this is chaotic.”
Previous: Part 4
Next: Part 6
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pixielle · 5 years
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what yj ship were u referencing on that ship post recently? i know so many ships have been flying around lately beacuse they're going crazy with confirming pairings but i don't know what your otp is!
I think you mean this post!
And it was referencing Bluepulse! Aka the rare ship on the market that has too much development to be canon (a whole season in fact, lmao). A true modern “I really was born to meet you” eviscerated once again! And no, I’m not one of the bitter bp fans who only liked them bc they were the twinks who had a chance at being canon. I still care about this ship a lot and always will regardless of what happens in future canon (we’ll always have the Invasion and it’s ambiguous ending??? lol). I knew this end was coming for Jaime in particular for over two years when they dropped that they were including Traci in the lineup for future seasons. But regardless I’m so freaking happy that Bart is queer in a DC canon!!!! like what?? that’s amazing!And they have been “going crazy” with confirming things lately, sure seems like there isn’t much original plot going on hmm? I talked about this earlier in the year but…Tara and Slade? in 2019?
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