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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 5 years

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“While they're depicted as happy and in love, there are a lot of details that don't make sense.”

Oh boy I can’t wait to hear this from the pinnacle of comic book journalism that is Screenrant....

20 EVERYTHING ABOUT "ONE MORE DAY"

Okay fair enough

19 THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON

Sense of humour. Study different forms of science. Science and acting are both about making sense of life. Troubled childhoods. Living double lives. Living with guilt over relegating on responsibilities which hurt your family. Immense inner strength. Oh and btw having shit in common isn’t the be all and end all of romantic relationships so shut up.

“It's possible for two people to love each other and not have much in common. ”

That’s what I said.

“At some point, however, a couple needs to have something to build a relationship on.”

And they did see above and add in being one another’s friends, confidants and support group.

“Peter Parker and Mary Jane couldn't be further apart from each other in almost every single way. He's a science geek with a weird sense of humor and no social skills.”

Also heroic, also gult ridden, also responsible, also inner strength, also working class, also lost a parent, also lived a double life....like MJ.

“Meanwhile, MJ is an aspiring model/actress, except for when she's a super successful model/actress.”

Everyone knows model/actress = a personality right.

“In recent years, she's shown a more entrepreneurial side, but that still involved opening a nightclub, the sort of place where Peter doesn't fit in at all. They say opposites attract, but there comes a point where that just becomes nonsensical.”

Yes there is but that point is well beyond the ways in which Peter and MJ are opposite to one another because their traits often balance one another out.

18 THEY GOT TOGETHER WAY TOO SOON AFTER GWEN'S DEMISE

They got together almost 2 years after Gwen died shut up.

“Time in comic books is a funny thing. The Marvel Universe has a sliding timescale, meaning that it's hard to peg down when stories took place in relation to each other. The time that passes in the real world means nothing. That being said, Peter and MJ started dating way too soon after Gwen Stacy's demise.”

Canonically its still 2 years so shut up.

“She lost her life in Amazing Spider-Man #121 (1973) by Gerry Conway and Gil Kane. By the end of the next issue, the seeds were being planted for them to get together. They didn't immediately start dating, but Peter seemed to get over his "one, true love" suspiciously fast”

2 years isn’t too fast and she wasn’t his one true love. Nobody has a one true love.

17 SHE FLIP-FLOPS ON PETE'S LIFE AS SPIDER-MAN

This list is about stuff that doesn’t make sense. Anybody dating a superhero is probably going to flip flop over their own or their loved ones’ lives being potentially endangered by super powered serial killers.

“Look, dating a superhero must be hard. Nobody can blame someone for not wanting to deal with it, or trying to convince a loved one not to risk their life. Also, it can make having a social life impossible. It's understandably frustrating, but at some point, enough is enough.

It seems like Mary Jane can't make up her mind about Peter's life as Spider-Man.”

Obviously she can because she chose to date him, chose to marry him and stayed with him all the time sans stories where she was written as OOC.

She both likes it and dislikes it which makes her compelling and its realistic too. She doesn’t HAVE to make up her mind definitively and every day stay on track with liking or hating it because people flip flop over shit all the time.

Shit Spider-Man himself flip flops about BEING SPIDER-MAN!

“Sometimes she's fully supportive, while other times she wants him to quit. ”

Gee its almost like something as dangerous as a superhero’s life would have lots of factors that impact how you feel depending upon what side of the bed you got up from.

Also she never wanted him to quit outside of when she was OOC. She only once wanted him to remain retired when she was heavily pregnant.

“Considering that she knew Peter was Spider-Man before she even met him, it's time for her to figure out her feelings and make a decision. ”

a) She did, hence they married

b) She doesn’t need to make a decision YOU the individual reader want her to but realistically the character for her own sake doesn’t have to

“They both know he's not going to give up being a hero, so it's time to be grown ups.”

16 THEIR ENGAGEMENT WAS SUPER QUICK

In the history of mankind there have been quicker engagements.

Shit STAN LEE got married super quick, he married his wife Joan of 60 something years literally the day she got divorced.

“In Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 (1987) by David Michelinie, Jim Shooter, and Paul Ryan, Peter Parker married Mary Jane. Behind the scenes, this occurred because Stan Lee wanted Spider-Man to get married in the newspaper comic strip that he was writing at the time. Marvel liked the idea, and decided to have them get married in the comics as well.

The problem was that they were broken up at the time. So, the writers had to quickly bring her back, rekindle the romance, have Peter propose, and then get married.”

This is total fucking bullshit.

Mary Jane had been a mainstay in the titles for over 4 years before the wedding, being the most recurring character sans Spider-Man himself.

Moreover broken up isn’t strictly accurate, Peter and Mj years prior to their wedding had been effectively dating whilst being in denial about it to one another or publicly.

Their romance and love was always there they just weren’t being honest about it until Peter proposed.

Yeah the proposal-wedding was a few issues, but the romantic tension and relationship had been years in the making.

“Anyone that's ever planned a real wedding knows how unrealistic this whole timeline was.”

Yeah unless you were having a quick wedding at city hall with a small ceremony and there was a time skip before and during the final part of the story where they tie the knot.

15 DO THEY HAVE A BABY OR NOT?

“The second Clone Saga that ran during the mid '90s had one of the most confusing endings ever written. Basically, the writers needed to finish Ben Reilly's storyline while also tying up all of Peter's loose ends to make it possible for Peter to become Spider-Man again. One of these plot threads was the fact that Mary Jane was pregnant.

The editors felt that Spider-Man being a dad would age him, so they suggested that Mary Jane not have the baby, after all. However, it was also heavily implied at the time that Norman Osborn had the baby taken away. This storyline was teased for a few years, before ultimately being forgotten about.”

This list is about things that do not make sense. This list is not about things that are merely unresolved.

14 WHY DOES PETER STILL USE THE BLACK SUIT?

“In Amazing Spider-Man #299 (1988) by David Michelinie and Todd McFarlane, Venom made his frightening first appearance. Mary Jane thought she saw Peter wearing his black costume, until a mouth formed and turned into a horrific smile. Venom didn't hurt Mary Jane, but the experience was still pretty traumatic for her.

After Spidey defeated the villain, Mary Jane asked him to stop wearing the black costume. This made sense, and Peter happily obliged. Except, he keeps bringing the costume back from time to time.”

Yeah and it’s justified each time.

He brought it back in the 1990s during McFarlane’s run because he needed something stealthy and he discussed this with MJ.

He brought part of it back in the Clone Saga because he had nothing else to wear but it wasn’t the whole suit.

He brought it back during the Mackie run with Larsen because again he had nothing else to wear and MJ was presumed dead at the time anyway.

He wore it again in Back in Black at a time where he wasn’t wearing it in front of MJ and wanted to send a message to criminals that he was now going to be a more violent and scary fucker (it worked).

He wore it again in Brand New Day when he was impersonating Venom and he and MJ were broken up.

He wore it again in ASM #800 when he needed the power boost from the symbiote to beat Red Goblin.

And all this aside, MJ got over her fear of Venom anyway.

So rather than making no sense each individual instance actually did add up.

“Sometimes there's a specific reason, other times he just seems to feel like wearing it. He knows it scares his wife, but apparently Peter likes the way it looks too much to care.”

Not true as I just explained. Peter himself doesn’t even LIKE the suit anymore.

13 HOW SUCCESSFUL IS HER CAREER?

“Not everyone is a fan of Peter and Mary Jane's relationship. While many fans love her, some feel that it's weird for Peter Parker to be married to a supermodel. That can be a valid complaint, but the problem is that Mary Jane has had one of the most inconsistent careers ever.

She's constantly moving between being a struggling model, a highly sought after model, a soap opera actress, and even giving up on show business completely multiple times. It's understandable for careers to have ups and downs, but it seems like the writers can't even decide if she's famous or not.”

Because a model and actresses career and fame can’t fluctuate right?

12 THEY'VE BOTH DEALT WITH TOO MANY STALKERS

WTF is too many exactly when one of you is a famous-semi-famous actress and model and the other is a superhero?

Like shit dude, there are people, a lot of them women, who aren’t famous and can have stalkers.

“In the late '90s, Marvel's first attempt to undo Spider-Man's marriage resulted in Mary Jane getting on a plane which then exploded mid-flight.”

Technically that was not their first attempt.

“For the next year or so, everyone believed she had passed away. Instead, she had been snatched away by a deranged stalker, who caused the explosion so that no one would look for her.

Before that, Mary Jane had to deal with Jonathan Ceaser, who attempted to take her away several times in the early '90s.”

OP misspelled ‘once’ as ‘several times’.

“Even Peter had to deal with his ex girlfriend, Felicia Hardy, dating Flash Thompson just so she could be near him during that same time period. ”

That isn’t a stalker.

“People really need to give these two their privacy.”

Again...not a thing that doesn’t make sense which is the point of the article.

11 THEY BREAK UP CONSTANTLY

constantly

Dictionary result for constantly

/ˈkɒnst(ə)ntli/

adverb

1. continuously over a period of time; always.

Hmmmmmm...doesn’t seem to add up with breaking up:

For the first time in the late 1970s.

Again in Spider-Man vs. Wolverine.

Trial separating (which isn’t a proper break up) in 2001.

Seperating for real in OMD/OMIT

Breaking up again in Superior when it wasn’t even the real Spider-Man. And no her dumping him again twice doesn’t count.

Gee, four break ups across 40+ years = constantly apparently.

“Comic books can't just rely on action, they also need to have drama. One of the most common places writers create drama is in the hero's relationships. It's probably very hard to date a superhero, and it's understandable that not everyone would want to sign up for that ride. At some point, however, enough is enough.”

I’m not saying I’m innocent of lazily repeating the same words and phrases over and over again, but I also don’t get paid to write for a big website.

Also, wtf does enough’s enough even mean?

They broke up a few times, one due to genuine issues, once because of a misunderstanding, once because MJ wasn’t well and Peter was OOC (which doesn’t count) and every other time also because they were both OOC.

“It's hard to feel bad for them when Peter and Mary Jane break up, because they do it all the time. He's always focusing on saving people, she's constantly moving to another part of the country to work on her career. When Mephisto forced them to break-up, he could've just waited a few months and gotten the same result.”

Again all the time and constantly does not = 4 times across 40 years.

Also that wasn’t Mephisto’s endgame but whatever.

10 HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE OTTO'S MIND IN PETER'S BODY

Hey look, the secod legitimate point on this list. The answer was because bad writing.

9 HOW DO THEY AFFORD THEIR APARTMENTS?

“A common complaint across various forms of fiction is that characters always seem to be able to afford apartments that they shouldn't be able to. For Spider-Man and Mary Jane, however, it's pretty bad. Of course, there are times when Mary Jane's career is going very well, which explains how they can afford a nice apartment.

For the most part, however, Peter is a struggling photographer and she's a struggling model. Somehow, they are consistently able to afford apartments with giant skylights. ”

If this happens across most fiction in ways which aren’t more egregious than anything else (because Joey and Chandler’s apartment is egregious given their jobs) then it’s not worth mentioning on this list.

“Seriously, Tony Stark would struggle to afford some of the places they've lived in over the years.”

He really wouldn’t.

8 PETER WAS SUPER SHALLOW ABOUT MEETING HER

First off he wasn’t super shallow, he was as shallow as you would expect any teenager to be in that situation.

Also, a teenager being shallow. Thats certainly something that doesn’t make sense and belongs on a list entirely about shit that makes no sense.

“In the early stories, Peter could be kind of shallow. Granted, he was a teenager, but he always just seemed interested in dating the prettiest girls. ”

Ugh...no he didn’t. He asked out 3 young women who were all relatively attractive but none of whom were like compared to Hollywood starlets of the era. There was something of an implication that Betty Brant, his high school love, was not as attractive as the more glamorous Liz Allan whom he typically rebuffed in favour of Betty.

Also if we’re playing the ‘its super shallow to just date the hottest people you can’ then Peter and MJ were no worse than one another at those ages.

“Considering that he was always getting bullied and picked on, he should've been more understanding.”

a) Being bullied and picked on isn’t innately going to make you more understanding of anybody

b) Understanding of who? Who was he being inconsiderate towards exactly? He asked out two girls he was attracted to, attraction being an involuntary thing in the first place. He presumed his elderly not hip aunt who described MJ as being a good house wife was going to pick someone unattractive or boring, especially considering that if she was going to be set up with him she probably couldn’t get a date with anyone else. Meaning in his teenage head she must be unattractive

“Then, when he found out that she was beautiful, he was suddenly interested. ”

My God how dare characters as teens be shallow and flawed. It makes no seeeeeeense!

“It turns out, Peter's type was "any girl that looks good, regardless of her interests or personality."”

That’s true which is why he quickly began to turn away from MJ because he found her shallow and preferred Gwen who was seemingly not shallow...

7 WHY DID SHE NEED TO BE SET UP WITH PETER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

...huh?

“Every comic book fan knows the story of how Peter and MJ met. A recurring plot line in early Spider-Man stories was Aunt May constantly trying to set Peter up with her friend's niece. The two didn't actually meet until The Amazing Spider-Man #43 (1966) by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, when Peter opened the door and she said the iconic phrase "face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!"”

Wow...the degree of incompetence in this paragraph is truly impressive.

First of all it was ASM #42 not #43...how do you fuck that up. More importantly it was with Lee and Romita Senior not Lee and Ditko. SERIOUSLY how do you fuck that up.

“What's weird about this, however, is that Mary Jane was a beautiful and outgoing girl. Peter was busy being Spider-Man, and was considered a nerd by his peers, so it's understandable that he'd need help getting dates. Mary Jane, on the other hand, should have been doing just fine.”

Lets ignore how this was explained in Parallel Lives a story which has a major plot point referenced by the article more than once.

...why is this presumption Mj NEEDED to be set up. Maybe she just agreed as a favour to her aunt.

6 HOW DID SHE KNOW TO SAY THE JACKPOT LINE?

Because she knew she was sexy and could tell by his reaction he didn’t realize that and was taken aback by it.

“Ok, this might seem like a nitpick,”

Why let that bother you now.

“The famous scene where Peter and Mary Jane first meet plays out like this: Peter answers the door, and Mary Jane is standing and delivers the famous line. It's a memorable moment, but it also doesn't make any sense.

Mary Jane never met Peter before this.”

Not formally no, but yes she had and knew what he looked like.

“How did she know she was a "jackpot" for him? Maybe she wasn't his type?”

His reaction spelled it out for her.

“For all she knew, he could have answered the door and been very disappointed. Also, maybe he wouldn't care what she looked like? It was a pretty arrogant thing to say, looking back, and she's lucky it didn't backfire.”

*rolls eyes* oh fuck off.

5 THE REASON SHE CALLS HIM TIGER MAKES NO SENSE

“For years, everyone focused on the "jackpot" part of Mary Jane's famous introduction, but apparently, Peter was focused on a different part. Apparently, he never understood why she called him "tiger," especially because the nickname stuck. In all honesty, it's a good question. Especially during those early years, Peter Parker was anything but a "tiger."

In the original Clone Saga that ran during 1975, Peter actually asked Mary Jane for the reason. It turns out, it's because he's not a tiger and she's just playfully teasing him. That's fine, except why did she say it the first time she met him? How did she know he wasn't a "tiger?"”

a) Because she called everyone that

b) Because Aunt May and Aunt Anna probably told her about him

4 THEY DON'T EVEN TRY TO HIDE KNOWING EACH OTHER

Yeah they do.

“Peter's never been great at keeping a secret identity.”

Yeah that is why hardly anyone knew it before Civil War...

“His entire scheme is that he takes pictures of himself fighting crime as Spider-Man, and then pretends that he's just Spidey's photographer. He's basically telling everyone that he's connected to the wall-crawler in some way.”

Yet it worked so obviously he is good at hiding it.

“Even worse, whenever Spider-Man runs into Mary Jane, they often blatantly talk to each other in public. They always forget to pretend that Mary Jane isn't supposed to know Spider-Man. ”

He talks to lots of people in public and MJ has the easy cover story of knowing/dating Spider-Man’s friend Peter Parker.

“That, or they go way over the top and really awkwardly state that they don't know each other.”

No they don’t.

“At some point, someone's going to notice Spidey flirting with Peter Parker's wife and put two and two together.”

Yet they never have so...

3 HOW DID SHE FIGURE OUT HIS SECRET ID?

“As previously stated, Peter is kind of terrible at keeping a secret identity. ”

As previously stated no he isn’t

“Often times, Peter doesn't even get caught as Spider-Man, people just end up figuring it out.”

Again a lie from the author who didn’t even know Romita Senior isn’t Steve Ditko.

“For example, after dating Peter during the '70s and the '80s, Mary Jane broke up with him, moved away, and then came back to New York. ”

Actually they broke up in the 70s and began dating after she returned in the 80s.

“When she returned, she revealed that she had figured out his secret.

While that made sense, later stories contradicted this. It was eventually revealed that she saw Peter leaving his house dressed as Spider-Man the night Uncle Ben died. So, she didn't figure it out. Obviously, this was a retcon, but the result is that Mary Jane lied to Peter. She didn't figure anything out!”

a) Seeing Peter Parker enter an abandoned house and Spider-Man emerge would count as figuring out his identity

b) She never actually told him directly she figured it out like she was a goddam detective

2 THEY BOTH KEEP HANGING AROUND THEIR EXES

As do most comic book characters...

“Both Peter and Mary Jane had healthy dating lives before marrying one another. There's nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, it's strange how they're both constantly hanging around their exes. ”

Or refreshingly healthy...

“Peter still brings Black Cat around constantly, and he and Betty Brant are still very close.”

He dated Betty as a friggin teenager and the author reaffirms he doesn’t understand what constantly means.

“Meanwhile, Mary Jane dated Harry Osborn while they were both in college, and the relationship did not end well for him. Now, years later, everyone is always hanging out together and that's a little strange. Hanging around with your exes typically leads to disaster, and based on how many ex-boyfriends and girlfriends are around, Peter's Spidey-sense should be tingling.”

Or again healthy and an affirmation of a deep bonded friendship that goes beyond personal baggage from when they were young and dumb.

1 GWEN WAS MEANT TO BE PETER'S TRUE LOVE, NOT MJ

Again, not something that doesn’t make sense. In fact it makes less sense for Gwen to be his true love since they were not a great match and true loves are fairy tale bullshit.

“The end of Gwen Stacy is one of the most defining moments in comic book history. Up until that point, the hero saved the girl. Part of what made this story so memorable was that Gwen Stacy was always meant to be Peter's one true love.”

As far as Stan Lee was concerned yes but not everyone else.

Also OTLs are bullshit.

“Her demise rocked his world, and he's still affected by it, even to this day.

That's understandable, but it also strains Peter's relationship with MJ. She's always been understanding, but how many times can she come across him crying over Gwen's picture in the attic before it starts to effect her.”

He has literally never ever done this ever.

“She's constantly being reminded that she might be Peter's second choice.

Again with the misuse of constantly and no she isn’t because Peter has told and shown her she isn’t second best more than once.

And again, not a thing that doesn’t make sense however you slice it.

You what really doesn’t make sense.

This person being paid for this garbage.

#Screenrant #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary jane watson Parker #Dan Slott #Joe Quesada #MJ Watson #Gwen Stacy

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