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absurdthirst · 1 year

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The Power of Persuasion {Max Phillips x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Vampires, seduction, dub con due to mind compulsion, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, biting, mentions of blood

Comments: Running into Max Phillips, your boss, at a night club leads you to going home with him. Feeling like you are being compelled to, even though you know you shouldn’t.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Max notices you from the moment you step into the club. The music is loud and the lights that hit the dance floor illuminate your features so he can keep his gaze focused on you. He knows as soon as he sees you that he wants you, pushing his way through the crowd until he finds himself leaning up against the crowded bar that you have found yourself a space in. A few moans of protest at his invasion but a flash of his teeth has the humans backing up. He can’t smell you, the overall stench of booze and sweat that has seeped into the club’s very structure has Max leaning closer to you in hopes of catching a sniff. “Max? What - what are you doing here?” You gasp, your eyes widening as you see your boss leaning into you.

“Hey sweet cheeks.” Max smirks and looks around the club, his tailored suit standing out in a sea of leather pants, tights and muscle shirts. Although you are looking fucking dynamite in a dress you would never wear into the office. Tits on display and hugging every luscious curve. “Decided I want to have some fun.” He flashes you another smile and jerks his head towards the bar. “Buy you a drink?”

You hesitate, knowing it might be unprofessional to have a drink with your boss when it’s not some kind of team bonding exercise. Plus who knows what you will say to the handsome man when you have some liquid courage in your system. “I don’t know…..” you hedge, looking around. “I don’t think I should.”

Max tuts, leaning closer to you. “Come on, live a little. I know you barely leave that house of yours. Come on, enjoy yourself. Why are you out tonight?” He asks, raising his eyebrows as his eyes dip down to your tits.

“I, uh, I had a date who decided he had better things to do.” You bite your lip. Max hisses under his breath, jealousy surging through him at the idea of you out with anyone else.

He’s always wanted you, always wanted to see, hear, and feel what you look like when you cum. “Well, he’s a fucking idiot because you look gorgeous tonight. I’d motorboat those tits now if you’d let me.”

The fact that Max was Amanda’s worst nightmare at work should have clued you in that he would do something like this to you. Although crude, it’s also making you fluster slightly at the compliment, eyes sliding away from his as you give a nervous laugh. “Haha.” You pretend that he’s joking and give a small shrug. “His loss. I plan on dancing anyway.”

Max smirks, reaching for your hand. “Let me have this dance then.” He requests, lifting your hand to his lips and placing an uncharacteristically soft kiss on the back of your hand. He winks when you exhale shakily and wastes no time in guiding you onto the dance floor, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you back against him.

It shocks you that he’s a good dancer. Actually shocks you. You had expected arrogant Max Phillips to claim he could dance but actually possess two left feet. Or have horrible rhythm. Although you’ve secretly wondered how he would be in bed, learning he can move his hips is making your stomach clench and the pang of arousal build in your core.

He smirks at your little gasp of surprise, egging him on as he grinds against you. His cock getting hard from how fucking soft and pliable you are beneath his hands that are squeezing your hips. “Come on baby, dance and let yourself go.” He orders, that slight edge in his voice is persuading.

Something tugs inside you, making that suggestion feel like it’s the best idea ever. Compelling you to loosen your limbs and spin around in his arms and wrap your arms around the back of his neck. Your hips immediately synchronize with his and you pick up the best of the music and match it.

He grins, unable to believe how wild you’re acting compared to how mousy you are at work. He takes a risk, sliding his hands lower until he is squeezing your ass, grinding you against him until you can feel his hard cock. You look so sexy, the lights flashing on your face as the music blares and he just wants to fuck you here and now on this dance floor.

You gasp, hand shooting away from his shoulder and connecting with his cheek. It’s a sharp crack and for a second his eyes widen in shock that you slapped him. “Do it again!” You demand, your hand falling down to cover his over your ass and you squeeze it, encouraging him to take another handful.

Max can't believe you slapped him, his cock is fucking throbbing from that. The confusion is clear on his face as you slap him but then request him to do it again. He shakes his head at you, a smirk on his face as he eagerly grabs your ass, squeezing and kneading as you grind against him. "Dirty little girl, aren't you?" He teases as he leans in to kiss your ear.

You moan quietly when you feel the wet glide of his tongue along your ear, making you shiver. You can feel the fact that your boss wants you, the hardness pressed against your stomach and you smirk back at him as you press against him harder. “Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie.” You tease.

He smirks, “nobody puts Baby in the corner.” He teases, rocking his hips a little faster with the beat as he leans down to kiss your neck. You’re such a beautiful woman, so sexy and he doesn’t know why you are such a wallflower when you are a vixen if given the chance.

One song slides into the next, keeping you in Max’s embrace. The two of you are as close as you can get without being inside the other. Making you feel dizzy and intoxicated by him, the lips on your neck driving you wild.

Your whimpers drive him crazy and he resists the urge to bite down on your neck. “Come on baby, let me take you home.” He pleads, his hands dipping under your dress to caress your upper thighs.

Opening your eyes, you step back shaking your head. “Max - I’m sorry, I can’t.” You shouldn’t have danced with him, flirted with him. You had known It was a bad idea. “You’re my boss.” You hate it, but Max would never keep it quiet and you don’t want to develop a reputation at work. Rumors about you sleeping with him for a promotion was the last thing you wanted.

Max shakes his head, pulling you closer again and he’s too strong for you to resist. “I want you to come back to my home and let me make you cum on my fingers, my tongue, and my cock.” He leans closer to kiss along your jaw before he pulls back to look into your eyes. “Come home with me.”

A shiver runs down your spine and you feel that tug in the back of your brain again. Frowning at the sensation of being compelled even as you are nodding. “Okay Max.” You agree, your body moving closer to him on its own. Like he was pulling some kind of invisible strings and you are merely a puppet. “I’ll come home with you.”

He grins, victorious as he grabs your waist, guiding you through the crowd and out of the club into the warm summer night. He calls the valet to get his car - a very nice Audi with blacked out windows - and helps you into the passenger seat before sliding into the driver's side. “You look so sexy. Never imagined you’d be hiding that under those sensible sweaters you wear even when it’s scorching outside.”

“You keep the office like an ice box.” You huff, unsure of how you managed to get into his car so quickly. Max speeds away, making you clutch at the door. Your legs shift and you bite your lip, wondering how you can torment him on the way to his house. “Besides, I’m not even wearing underwear.” You coo, smirking over at him.

His fingers tighten on the steering wheel and he has to keep himself from ripping it in two. He turns to look at you, trailing his brown eyes down your body. “Show me.” He orders, his voice is raspy and he is desperate to see you, any part of you.

Spreading your legs as wide as you can in the small car, you shimmy the bottom of your dress up, revealing the wet lips of your cunt for him to see.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He growls, keeping his eyes fixed on the cunt. You are gorgeous and he cannot wait to devour you. “I’m gonna destroy that pussy before the sun rises.” He informs you with a hiss of delight when you trail your hand along your thigh. “You gonna touch that clit for me?” He hums.

You smirk and slide your hands down, your fingers circle your clit. “You want me to touch myself?” You ask playfully, “you need to be watching the road. Not watching me play with my pussy.”

He chuckles, “I can do both but I want to watch the wallflower show me how she touches herself. Touch your clit baby and show me how wet you are.” You rub your clit and let out a small moan. He can’t help it, reaching out to grip your wrist, and he brings your finger to his mouth to suck your arousal off of it, moaning at the delicious tang.

“Fuck.” You whisper, feeling his tongue caress your fingers and your cunt clenches around nothing. “That’s hot.” You admit, bringing your spit slick fingers back down to your clit when he lets them go. You slide your fingers over the bundle of nerves with a small moan.

"That's it sweetheart, get that cunt nice and wet for me so I can slide my thick dick in there when we get home. Wanna make you cum on my cock, wanna watch you ride it. Imagined it enough times, fuck, when we were in meetings. Just wanted to shove everything off of my desk and strip you down." He confesses.

“Me?” Your brow shoots up, never assuming he wanted anything to do with you with the way you dressed and ignored the frat bro atmosphere of the office. “Why did you want to fuck me? I thought you were trying to get in Amanda’s pants to piss Evan off.”

He snorts, shaking his head. “It might be cold in that office but I swear 90% of that comes from Amanda’s pussy. I don’t envy Evan who probably freezes his dick off every time he fucks her.” Max shivers dramatically, “you on the other hand.” He offers you a wink, “are deliciously warm. Like a hot cinnamon roll…I just wanna eat you up. Now, are you gonna keep playing with your clit?”

You hum and rub your clit some more, closing your eyes and leaning back against the leather seat to spread your legs wider. “Mmmmm.” You moan softly. “You want me to ruin the leather? Cum all over the seat of your car?”

“Do it. I’ll smell it every time I get into the car.” He chuckles, reaching for your leg and he lifts it onto the dashboard, spreading you open even more. “Want you to squirt and cover the damn passenger seat with your cum.” He orders, “keep rubbing your clit for me.” He slides his hand down to push two fingers into your dripping cunt, groaning at how tight and wet you are.

Your walls suck him in, locking down around the thick fingers that feel so much better than your own. “Max!“ you gasp out, toes curling slightly and your fingers start rubbing your clit frantically. It’s some erotic dream that you are half afraid that you are going to wake up from and be asleep on your couch.

He barely manages to drive but thank God for vampire multitasking skills as he curls his fingers, trying to find that spot inside of you that makes you moan his name again. “Feel good? You gonna cum for me? Soak the car leather like a good girl?” He asks.

Your body lurches up when he presses against a spot inside you. “Yes! Yes!” You gasp out, the combination of his fingers and you rubbing your clit sending you over the edge. Clamping down around his fingers, you cry out, soaking them in a rush of hot cum so that they make a squelching noise as he pumps them in and out of your fluttering cunt.

“Fuck yes. That’s it. Can’t wait to feel that gripping my cock.” He hisses, knowing you just ruined the leather but he doesn’t give a shit. He works you through it, loving the way your thighs shake and he hasn’t even gotten to the main event. “When was the last time you came? Before that?” He asks, withdrawing his fingers and pushing them into his mouth with a groan.

You squirm, slightly embarrassed. “By myself?” You ask, biting your lip. “A week ago. But it’s been forever since someone else made me cum.”

Max grumbles after removing his fingers from his mouth, shaking his head as he pulls onto his street, parking the car before he turns to look at you. “You should be orgasming every day. We will fix that.” He promises, shifting to get out of the car and in a flash, he is helping you out of the passenger side, supporting you as you stand up.

You pull your skirt down over your cunt and try not to grin. “Really? Everyday, huh?” It’s not surprising that Max Phillips is making plans before he is even sure that you would be okay with that. “Maybe you won’t be good enough for another round. What then?”

“Pshhh.” He scoffs, pressing you up against the side of his car, his thigh between your legs. “Trust me sweetheart, you’ll be begging for my cock by the time we are finished. Now, you wanna come inside?” He grins, his eyes black with lust as his cock throbs in his pants.

Again with that tugging sensation. You moan quietly, his thigh pressing against your clit and he grinds it against you. “Yes.” You confess breathlessly. “I want to come inside with you.” You don’t know why you feel like you can’t say no, but you can’t.

He grins, taking your hand and pulling away from you to guide you into his home. “You, uh, like interior design.” You comment on the curtains and matching cushions. The home doesn’t feel like a bachelor pad.

“What can I say? I love HGTV.” He chuckles, guiding you to his bedroom. “Now, I want you to strip for me. I want to see every inch of you.”

You shiver at the commanding tone and predatory look in his eyes. Sliding out of your tall wedges and reaching for the straps of your dress to peel it off of your body. “Yes sir, Mr. Phillips.” You sass, smirking at him as you strip off.

He watches, eyes eager and hungry, as you expose your body to his gaze. “Shit, sweetheart. Look at those tits.” He groans, surging forward without another moment to waste so he can wrap his lips around your tit, hand squeezing it to tilt it up towards his mouth. His other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you close.

You gasp, eyes closing at his possessive and strong touch. It’s been hard to fight this attraction to him and now it seems impossible, your mind screaming at you to let him do whatever he wanted. “Max.” You whimper, shivering against him.

He groans, loving how pliable you are. He switches to your other breast, wanting you to be soaking wet for his cock. His hand squeezes your tit before he slides it lower, cupping your pussy and he presses his thumb against your clit.

Moaning wantonly, your head rolls back and you grab onto his shoulders to keep yourself upright. He feels so damn good and you will let him do whatever he wants to you. “Max, fuck.” You whimper. “More.”

He chuckles against your skin, loving how eager you are, and he pushes two fingers into your, thumb still pressed against your clit. He kisses along your neck, taking advance as you tilt it back and he inhales your scent, making his cock twitch. “Who knew the innocent office girl was a needy little slut?” He teases.

You want to protest, but you can do nothing but mewl in pleasure. His fingers and thumb working in perfect harmony makes you rock up onto the balls of your feet with every twist of his wrist. “God.”

"That's it, baby. Want you to soak my fingers again and then I'm going to fuck you." He promises with a coo, curling his fingers a little more and his free hand grabs your ass to help you rock on his digits.

Rolling your head back, you rock your hips up into his touch, riding his hand and moaning. It’s so much better than your toys and your own fingers. Even if you know you should push him away, you can’t.

When you clamp down on his fingers, he growls, loving the way you moan his name and grip his fingers with your tight walls. Soaking him once more with your cum and he can’t wait to feel it on his cock. “Good girl, baby.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck and he resists the urge to bite. For now.

With the bliss of your orgasm humming through your system, the fog lifts. Realizing that you are with your boss, you push him back slightly, his fingers unfurling from inside your pussy. “Max- I, we can’t.” You pant, biting your lip because you know that you are giving mixed signals like crazy. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I can’t sleep with you.” You shake your head and turn around to find your dress. “I should go.”

Max frowns, hating that you are leaving because he’s your boss. He surges forward to grab you, turning your head with his fingers so he can look into your eyes. “Tell me…tell me what you really want.” He orders.

Your mouth is opening before you can even stop yourself. “I want you to fuck me.” You admit. “But wanting and doing are completely different.” You rationalize, feeling your entire body trying to slide closer to him. His dark eyes seem endless, like they are pulling you under the ocean.

“Why are you not giving in to what you want?” He demands to know, a frown on his face as he watches you.

“I- you’re my boss. It’s wrong.” You answer and Max tuts.

“Nothing is wrong if you want it. Baby, no one has to know. This can be between us only. We will go back to work on Monday and no one needs to know that you let your boss fuck your tight little pussy. No one will have to know. Unless you wanna do it again.” He smirks, “which I’m sure you will.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his cockiness. That is something Max has in spades. “The office is small and they will think I fucked you for a promotion.” You try to rationalize, feeling like you are about to blurt out ‘yes’ even though you are telling yourself to call an Uber.

“No one has to know.” He promises, “no one has to know about it and I- I swear I wouldn’t tell anyone. Come on, you know you want it. Tell me you want my cock.” He orders, his eyes on yours.

You whimper, that pressure making your eyes widen but you can’t look away from him. “I want your cock.” You admit breathlessly.

“Tell me I can fuck you.” Max presses, making your defenses crumble and you nod.

“You can fuck me.” You pant out. “I want you to fuck me right now.”

He growls, his cock throbbing as he grabs the back of your thighs and carries you over to the bed, practically tossing you down. “Squeeze your tits for me while I undress.” He orders, tugging on his expensive silk tie in his rush to get naked.

Your hands fly up to your tits, squeezing them harshly while you watch him undress. Stripping the expensive tailored suit that looks amazing on him. Your hands continue to massage your breasts, pinching your nipples as you spread your legs wider and writhe in anticipation on his silken duvet.

He is quick to remove his clothes, placing them on the chair in the corner until his hard cock is bouncing as he makes his way over to the bed. “Jesus. Look so good.” He groans, diving to bury his face in your folds, wanting to taste you from the source.

“Max!” You shriek his name in surprise, expecting him to spread your legs and sink into you rather than feast on your cunt. He’s voracious, growling and groaning into your folds while he grabs your hips hard enough that you will have bruises. Making you sob as your fingers tear into his neat hair and pull on the strands.

His tongue laps deep into your cunt, curling against your walls as his nose presses against your clit. He loves how you taste, loves how you sound. He’s already addicted. He groans into your pussy, wanting you to cum.

Max twirls his tongue around your walls, making you whimper and roll your hips down into his face. Wanting him deeper, as deep as you can get him. Pulling your legs back so he had better access to your cunt and moaning over how deep his tongue feels.

He loves the way you grip your calves to give him more access and he grabs your thighs, pushing them further back as his tongue dives deeper. His nose presses hard against your clit and he knows when his tongue hits just right because you cry out his name, making his cock twitch as you grip his tongue in your walls.

Your body is shaking from how close you are to cumming, every curl of his tongue or moan into you just pushing you towards the edge. His lower jaw widens and his teeth scrape over your wide, pushing you over with a near scream of his name.

Max smirks into your cunt, working you through your orgasm until he shifts within a blink of your eye, sinking into you with a groan while your cunt still spasms around him. “Oh fuck.” He groans, leaning down to press his lips to yours for the first time since you walked into the club.

“Ma-ax!” Your eyes widen and you can’t believe how fast he slides inside you. Literally taking your breath away and making your entire body light up as he fills you. “Oh my God.” You moan, wrapping your arms around his back and feeling the muscles ripple under your fingertips.

He kisses along your jaw, loving how tight you grip his cock, and he rocks his hips, pulling his length out of you until only the tip remains, before he sinks back into you. His tongue slides along your neck and he can’t help the way his fangs elongate. He wants to bite you. He has to bite you.

You had started to moan, eyes closing when you feel the sharp pinch of pain in your neck. “Max!” You cry out, eyes opening and you huff in annoyance. “Damnit, you ruined it. You weren’t supposed to bite me.” You complain, shoving at his shoulder.

Max huffs, pulling back to look down at you. “Baby. I couldn’t help it. You know I get horny and hungry at the same time.” He whines, lips pouting as his fangs poke out while he looks at you with frustration.

You snort, shaking your head and turning it to show the dry bite marks. “Blood from a stone.” You joke, your own fangs flashing when you look back up at him, “I was playing the helpless human you seduce, doesn’t make me human anymore.”

He grins, leaning down to bite another spot on your skin. No blood hits his lips but he loves the way you gasp out. “Gonna find it. Gonna suck my little human dry.” He teases, nipping all over your skin. “So sexy role playing an innocent little human for me to seduce. My perfect vampire wife, doing it for me.”He murmurs, his cock still buried inside of you and he starts to move slowly, suddenly in no rush for this to be over. “I love you.” He murmurs, sliding his arms under you to pull you closer to him.

“I love you too.” You go willingly into his embrace and wrap your legs around his waist. “Next time we will have to put a blood pack on my neck. Let you feed for real.” You suggest, giggling when you feel him twitch deep inside you.

Max groans at the idea. “Maybe one day. Right now, I just want my beautiful wife.” He declares, slowly moving inside of you, and he kisses along your neck, lathing the skin he nipped with his tongue and his hands grip you, almost like he’s afraid to lose you

“Maybe I will have to wear those mousey little outfits in the office.” You tease, stroking his cheek gently. “Be called in to be seduced on your desk.” You press your lips to his gently. “I love you Max.”

He shakes his head, pecking your lips. “No. No. I like you just the way you are. Those tight dresses that make them lust after you when you walk past to get me my files. Love it. Love that they can’t have you because you’re mine.” He kisses you again and thrusts deeper, wanting to fucking bury himself inside of you forever.

“You love when they watch me.” You tease him. “Especially when you get to flash your fangs at Evan and scare the hell out of him because no one else believes him that you are a vampire.” Your head tilts back into the pillow and you moan when he roughly thrusts into you again, striking against your g-spot. “Fuck baby.”

“No one believes that you are a vampire either.” He chuckles, rolling his hips to hit that spot inside of you that he knows makes you moan again. “My innocent little wife loves to fucking drain people for their blood. So damn sexy. Knowing that you’re mine for eternity.”

“I am yours.” Proud to be his truthfully. Max played with his food and enjoyed tormenting Evan, but he was honestly a wonderful husband and partner. “Just like you’re mine for eternity.” You promise, smiling up at him.

“Hell yes baby. All yours.” He vows, kissing you again and again until he slides his tongue into your mouth. His hand snaking from beneath you to slide between you so he can rub your clit. He wants you to cum again before he does.

“Max.” You pant his name, knowing it’s useless to tell him that you want him to cum. He is insistent on making sure that you cum more than he does. He has since the first night you met and he changed you.

“Cum for me, baby.” He orders, kissing your neck above where your pulse used to be and when you gasp against his hair, he knows you’re done. Clamping down on his cock and soaking him, he growls in pleasure and starts to seek his own orgasm, rocking his hips harder and faster until he is moving at a speed only the undead can achieve. You’d be dead if you were human as he thrusts over and over until he lets out a roar, burying himself deep as he fills you with his useless seed.

Neither one of you has to pretend to gasp for air and catch your breath. Instead, you quickly flip him over, using your incredible strength to make it seem easy and stretch out on top of him, “Mmmm, I love you.” You smirk and press your lips to his. “I love when you fuck me like that.” Your cunt is still fluttering around him and you lean down to kiss over his silent heart.

His hands slide along your back, tilting his head so he can kiss you again. “Gotta keep it fresh. If we are gonna be married for eternity, I gotta keep you on your toes.” He teases, sliding his hands lower to squeeze your ass. “I love you. So much. Damn, what have you turned me into?” He chuckles.

“A loving husband.” You tease, and he sighs, nodding with that silly grin on his face.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” He promises, pulling you down onto his chest so you cover every inch of his body. He hums, content to have a wife that makes him feel like a winner every day of his existence, because if Max loves anything remotely close to how much he loves you…he loves to win.

#pedro pascal #max phillips #max phillips x f!reader #max phillips x you #max phillips x reader #max phillips smut #max phillips fanfiction #max phillips imagine #max phillips bloodsucking bastards

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bringthekaos · 11 days

Note

So when does our hextech dream fall? Like in terms of when between act and 2 is it closer to act two or relatively early on?

Good question! ….. to which the answer is I don’t even know, haha.

No, I do, but it’s more of a ***vibe*** than a specific time frame. Like, in Tension, the very first part of OHD, they’re working on figuring out the intricacies of the Hexgates. So not too long into their partnership, cuz to me it seems as though that was the first thing they worked on. They would have had to, for that massive structure to be built by 6-7 years later and for the tech to already be so deeply integrated into their society. So I’d say Tension takes place… a little less than a year after their first meeting. And then the plan was to have OHD span the entire time gap between act 1 and act 2, and then maybe beyond, if I felt like it. Piltover’s Hexgate is completed in Stardust, so I’d say it’s been at least three years at that point, give or take. Probably another 1-2 by the time Oasis begins. So by Oasis’s conclusion, we’ll be pretty close to the end of the time skip (I’m guessing, cuz we never got a definitive answer on how long the time skip was, I don’t think. Just Amanda Overton’s sorta-answer in the Reddit AMA).

So to better answer your question… it basically spans the whole time skip. Or it will, as soon as this writer’s block is done raw dogging me.

#arcane #jayvik #my writing #Our Hextech Dream series #asks #ace answers

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echoexmachina · 8 months

Text

lyrics under cut:

3.2.1 WOW!

Death’s Empress, Ruler of the Sea Run this town, bow down to the KILLER QUEENS. Two guillotines, we’re so SAVAGE CLEAN SHARP SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART

Better to be LATE than to never SATIATE HUNGRY HUNGRY for some blood on MY PLATE So take the bait, KINGS never play it STRAIGHT SHALL WE START?

幽閉　利口　逝く前に (Up up right! Up up right!) ユーヘイじゃ利口に難儀DARLING (Up right down! Up right down.) 幽閉　STOP!　知ってないし (Up left right! Up left right!) 勘弁にしといて　なんて惨忍 (Down right up left down right down. Up right down?)

Do you even care? You’re wasting my time Stop being obtuse The answer’s right there! So, what, are you blind? Or is something missing? Stop this isn’t fair It’s like you don’t listen!!

無いの新たにお願い一つ愛も変わらずおまけに WARNING WARNING 無いのあなたにお願い一つ張り詰めた思い込め

LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! 歯をむき出して　パッパッパッ　照れくさいね LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! 歯を突き出して　パッパッパッ HAHA YOU ARE KING

You’ll never find me (Death’s Empress, Ruler of the Sea) You would never try to see (Run this town, bow down to the KILLER QUEENS.) Past the static on the screen (SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART)

I can’t control it and I just know it doesn’t matter what’s inside of me (SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART)

I can’t remember Never seen a tape where the plot aligns elegantly

I’m out there somewhere Rotting in the nowhere But you’ll never listen

NOW NEXT PART��

無邪気に遊ぶ期待期待の DARLING DARLING 健気に笑う　痛い痛いの消える無様に〇ねる　苦い思いもなくなって Lo-lo-love, ra-ta-ta 嫌い嫌いの最低　泣いて　ダウン

Do you smell something rotting? There’s nothing here, stop talking I swear there’s something spotting I’m telling you it’s nothing Are you afraid to discuss it? You’re talking crazy Is it me or are you an Idiot

Answer my question You don't have to answer that ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!

Do you even care You’re wasting my time This isn’t fair

Let me OUT OF HERE!!! (3, 2, 1– )

LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! (You don't have to answer that– ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!) 歯をむき出して　パッパッパッ　照れくさいね LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! (Up, up, right) 歯を突き出して　パッパッパッ (Up right down) (Down right up left down right down. Up right down?) HAHA YOU ARE KING

Ratatata YOU ARE KING

I can’t remember (Up left down right down left down right!) Never seen a tape where (left down right! Uhhh) the plot aligns elegantly

(YOU ARE KING) I’m out there somewhere (Up left down right down left down!) Rotting in the nowhere (No…) But you’ll never listen to me! (Up right down left right down left right.)

(Up down down— Ugh!)

YOU’LL NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!!

GURA: Yeah, fist bump! WOOLY: Okay CALLI: Yeah, dude, that was sick! AMANDA: Oh, Wooly.

#amanda the adventurer #holomyth #hololive myth #jakeneutron #kanaria #calliope mori #mori calliope #gura gawr #gawr gura #toastymarshmellow #meelz #amanda the adventurer fan song #mashup #mashups #don't listen x king

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amadeusevenstar · 2 months

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Thoughts on Daniel/Ali, Daniel/Kumiko, and Daniel/Amanda!

1. tbh i think daniel/ali is rlly underrated, it’s cute and has all the fun drama of a teenage romance lol. i don’t love how in a lot of fandom spaces as well LITERALLY IN COBRA KAI, it seems like all of Ali’s agency within that situation is taken away and she’s just reduced down to “the love interest” or “the cause of conflict between daniel and johnny” like that part in ck where she’s like “haha maybe it was kinda my fault” girl??? no???? ali deserves better.

also you guys don’t know how badly i wish i could see her and daniel’s break up scene, like ur telling me she broke up with him AT PROM and then crashed his car??? need to see it in 4k. Right Now. the drama is unmatched. (side note i need to make more drawings of ali. the woman ever. a true icon. daniel rlly fumbled with that one)

2. Daniel and Kumiko is cute as well and i get why ppl like it but i personally don’t find it super interesting sorry 😭

3. Daniel/Amanda. yup. they sure do exist. (completely neutral, nothing wrong with it at all i just find it boring, like they are both great as characters i just can’t find a reason to be emotionally invested in their relationship)

#ty for this ask!!!#if i’m being totally honest i only really ship daniel with johnny shdhjshb

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boywriters-blog · 6 months

Note

HI I SAW U DO ORGAZMO STUFF could i request a joe young x male reader fluff? maybe something where reader had a bad day at work and just wants to lie down with his bf? (sorry i suck at requesting 😿)

Joe Young x Reader

HI!! YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN!! thank you so much for asking!!

please keep in mind i’m still a bit rusty 😭🙏 so it’s not my best work in the world..

CW: None!

words: 917

You parked your car in the driveway to your shared house. Joe picked out a nice little town house, it was your favorite color with accents of grey. You recalled your day so far, remembering what made you feel so shitty.

First off, your co-worker Amanda closed the door on you in the pouring rain, so you had to spend an extra couple minutes inputing the code while getting drenched. Second, you forgot your lunch at home. You had been starving all day, especially since your lunch bag had your breakfast too. You ended up driving by your favorite fast food place and got something quick to eat. And third, you missed one day last week because of personal reasons, and suddenly you had an entire stack of paperwork to do in one day. Which you managed to do by staying late.

All in all it was a pretty frustrating day. All you wanted to do was go home to your boyfriend. You wanted to talk to him and let him hold you. Finally you had your chance.

You got out of your car, grabbing your bag, closing the door, and locking it. Making your way up and opening the door, you expect to see Joe waiting on the couch for you like usual, but he’s nowhere to be found. This frustrated you slightly but you took a deep breathe and put your bag down, closing the door to the house.

You yelled out, “I’m hoomee!!”, and heard a faint *thump* like someone dropped something. “Everything okay??”, you asked concerned.

“E-Everything’s fine-!! Don’t worry!! Just- don’t come in the kitchen right now-“, your boyfriend said frantically. You didn’t listen and peeked into the room he was in, eyes widening at the mess. It looked like he was trying to make your favorite dessert, but he was struggling. You giggled and smiled, a light blush spreading across your cheeks. “Awwww..you didn’t have to do all this for me..”, you stated as he finished up, putting the dish in the oven.

“Well.. of course I don’t have to,, but I want to! You seem so stressed lately, and I know these are your favorite, so I tried to make them? Obviously it hasn’t turned out great..when they’re done don’t feel the need to eat them so I feel better!! I doubt they’re any good anyway..haha”, Joe was fidgeting with this hands and looking down at them, nervously. He really tried to make something special for you, and you saw that. It was sweet.

“I’ll eat every last one.”, you looked into his eyes, they were so full of love. He looked around nervously at the mess, and then at you again. Conflicted whether to less the mess sit or comfort you. He could see that you weren’t having the best day, at all.

“You get that side, I’ll get the counter.”, Joe smiled softly at you, appreciative of your generous offer. You two finished up pretty quickly together, cleaning down all surfaces. You sighed in relief when you finished.

“All done! Thank you so much, (Y/N). I’m sorry you had to help me with your own ‘surprise’..”, he said sheepishly. You grabbed his hand and placed one on his face, making him look at you. “It’s no problem at all, my love. Thank you for your sweet surprise.”, his face turned red and he giggled, playing with shirt in his unoccupied hand.

“Can we go to our room and just..cuddle?”, you asked, squeezing his hand lightly. He nodded and lead you to the bedroom you shared. He took your jacket off, helped you take your jewelry off, and even assisted you in getting pajamas on. You were bright red and smiling like a lovesick fool, which you were. Your pupils were practically hearts.

Joe dragged you onto your shared king sized bed, helping you get comfortable. “Did you know I’m madly in love with you?”, you asked rhetorically. His face turned red this time and lied down on the mattress, opening his arms for you. “You know, I think I had a clue..”, he giggled, it was the prettiest sound in the whole world. His laugh sounded like chimes in the wind. Beautiful.

You crawled into his arms as he fastened them around your waist and back. One of your own went to Joe’s waist, the other lightly resting on his jaw, caressing his face. “You’re absolutely perfect..did you know that? You’re actually perfection. You’re my match, my other half, my twin flame. You are my everything, Joe Young. Thank you. Thank you for never giving up on me.”, you blurted out, completely surrounded by soft, warm love. You felt completely safe in his arms.

Joe just smiled and held you closer, tightening his grip on you slightly. His face was maroon and his smile was big and bright. “Says you. You’ve taught me so much, been there for me throughout all of my own personal struggles, comforted me, and so so much more. It’s only fair I return the favor.”, he winked and giggled, kissing your cheeks. He looked at you with so much love and adoration that you wanted to start crying. In fact you were tearing up as he spoke.

You held each other and just talked about anything that came to your minds, you would occasionally kiss his jaw and his grip would tighten. This went on until the timer for the dessert went off. Let’s just hope they taste alright.

//blegh i’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted!! lmk if i can write smth else for u!!

#boywriters-blog #joe young x reader #joe young #orgazmo #trey parker #south park #matt stone #baseketball #dave the lighting guy

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ramblingsofafanatic · 4 months

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For the wip game- HANKCON MY BRLOVED-

Baled With Love 💙💙💙

Oh, yes this one. So i started this one in... 2018 and its been sitting at 1.3 chapters and 4 pages of notes since 2020 haha. It's as you may have guessed a human/bakery au where connor is human and owns a bakery/coffee shop and hank is still a police lieutenant (there is also reed900 in this because i am a weak little man). Now that i am reading this i do want to start writing it again lol, here's some snippets: From chapter 1:

“You’ve been holding out on me!” Gavin says, punching Richard in the shoulder after taking a bite of one of the donuts Connor had packed for them. “I’ve invited you to lunch with Connor and I before and you just mumbled about having better things to do” Richard replies. “That was before I found out he made the best donuts I've ever had.” “Well maybe if you weren’t an asshole you would have found out sooner.” “Shut up, you love me” Gavin says, pushing Richard in the shoulder. “Unfortunately.” Richard says finishing his food.

From chapter 2:

Hank looks at the bakery, noticing the ‘Dogs Allowed (please)’ sign and smiling. So this is what Amanda’s other kid is doing.

#wip game #thank you for the ask :)#i lowkey forgot about this one until i was going through my wips lol

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music-wrestling-nascar-fan · 5 months

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Dale Jr Talladega Infield Spring 2006 Imagine

This is a part from a fic called "Dale Yeah" that I been working on for awhile haha. Im awful at this but heres an imagine.

Cast:

Me = Amanda

Julie = Close friend met online then met in person that I now live with. Her husband is Kevin Harvick.

(At a Talladega infield party in the spring of 2006)

("It's Your Love" By Tim McGraw and Faith Hill begins playing)

You probably got whoever in charge of the music to play it.

Dale: I didn't. I swear. (Holds his hand out) Slow dance with me?

(I look at his hand then take it and I look at him as he pulls me close and dances with him) "And if you wonder about the spell I'm under. Oh it's your love. It's your love. It's your love"

Dale: (Stares in my eyes then puts his hand on my face and leans in and kisses me)

(I look at him after we end the kiss)

Dale: So will you go out with me?

Well that was one hell of a way to ask.

Dale: (Laughs) I was gonna ask anyway.

Jeff (Gordon): (Walks up with Martin and puts his hand on Dale's back) I'm sorry to interrupt but the media needs you,Carl and Kevin for a bit.

(I look at Jeff then look back at Dale)

Dale: Will you have an answer for me when I get back?

I think I will (Smiles)

(He smiles and rubs my cheek then winks before he walks off with them)

Clint Bowyer: (Walks up behind and puts his arm around me and looks at me) Well,well looks like Dale done got himself a new girl. (Runs his hand down my back and almost touches my butt) You don't look like his type.

(I elbow him so he lets go and I run and hide outside of a motorhome and sit and cry into my knees then I get my phone and text Kevin Harvick)

"Clint touched me and almost put his hand on my butt. Please help."

Kevin: (Looks at his phone and gets pissed)

Dale: What is it?

Kevin: (Gives his phone to him and takes off running)

Dale: (Looks at the phone then takes off behind him)

Kevin: (Runs up to Clint and tackles him to the ground and starts beating him up and knocks him out)

Dale: (Runs up to me) Hey its me! Kevin knocked him out.

(Looks up with a tear soaked face) He did?

Dale: He did. Are you ok? You need checked out?

No. I'm ok just upset. (Shakes as I look at him)

Dale: (Puts his hand on my shoulder) (Jerks away and looks at him as tears fall)

Dale: I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise. I wanna take you to my motorhome so you can relax and feel safe. (Holds out his hand)

(I take his hand and we go to his motorhome and I go wash my face in the bathroom then come out)

Dale: You need anything? Want me to get you something?

(I shake my head no)

Dale: Can I sit by you? Please?

(I nod yes)

Dale: (Sits down and holds his hand out)

(I look at it then look at him) Hold me?

Dale: (Opens his arms)

(Hugs him and he wraps his arms around me and I start to feel better and safe)

Dale: You doing alright?

(Looks at him) I'm even better now. Your hug helped me.

Dale: (Smiles) I'm glad it did.

I'm gonna go take a shower.

Dale: I'll be right here.

(I go take a long shower and get dressed in my pjs and come back out)

Dale: (Looks at me) You feel a bit better now?

I do.

Dale: You want something to eat? I can get or make you something.

I'm not hungry but thank you (Smiles then looks out the window) Omg its raining. I knew here had rain chances all weekend so I hope they get the race in tomorrow.

Dale: (Gets up and looks out the window with me) If it gets postponed then fine. That means I can get to have more time with you.

(Looks at him) What would we do? What would you have in mind?

Dale: Hang out here?

And do what?

Dale: Talk? Watch something on TV? Keep visitors out unless its important.

(Looks up and listens) Was that thunder?

Dale: (Not wanting to worry me) Maybe it was a truck starting up.

Cuddle me?

Dale: I was just about to ask.

(Watches him close the shades)

Dale: Lets go over here. (He walks me to the couch where theres no windows and sits then opens his arms)

(I put my glasses on a table then I sit and he puts his arms around me and I lay my head on him)

(It thunders pretty loud and I jump and bury my face in his shoulder and hold my ears)

Dale: (Holds me tighter) Hey. Hey it's alright. We're ok.

(I start to shake)

Dale: (Rubs my back) We're alright darlin' I promise. We're safe. Can I see that pretty face of yours? I miss it.

(I raise my head slowly and look at him)

Dale: (Smiles) There she is. Prettiest face I ever seen.

(Smiles) Really?

Dale: Yes. Really. (Puts his right hand on the side of my face and rubs my cheek with his thumb and rubs my side with his left hand)

(Looks in his eyes and tears up and one tear goes down my cheek but he rubs it with his thumb)

Dale: What's wrong pretty girl?

I already miss you.

Dale: But I'm right here. I got you. I'm not leaving you alone.

But I live with your niece Julie and Kevin. He's gotten very protective over me cause he thinks of me as a little sister too like Julie does. I'll have to go home after the race.

Dale: You could always stay over with me. Anytime you want. We've known each other a year now. We hang out a lot.

I would actually love that. (Looks in his eyes and rubs his face) And the answer is yes. Yes I will go out with you Ralph Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Dale: (Smiles big) Really? You will?

I will. (Gets lost in his stare)

Dale: (Kisses me softly)

(I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck as it thunders lightly)

(I look at him) So if I stay here I can sleep here on the couch or a bunk?

Dale: You be alone when you need me to hold ya when it thunders? I don't think so!

Who are you my thunder buddy now?

Dale: I reckon I am. I was earlier.

(I hug Dale tight) You are so sweet. I get no bad vibes at all from you thats why I trust you. You're like a teddy bear. I used to cuddle this stuffed animal rabbit when I was a kid. But you can be my teddy bear.

Dale: (Eyes widen) I can be your what?

(Looks at him) A teddy bear. You're my teddy bear.

Dale: That's what I thought you said. There's a video of me and my dad and I said I was like a polar bear and he kept saying I was a teddy bear.

He was right. Teddy bears are cuddly. You don't hear of anybody cuddling a polar bear do you?

Dale: (Smiles) Well no I don't. But polar bears are big and tough.

(Looks in his eyes) You are tough but your dad was right about you. (Kisses his cheek and lays my head on him as I cuddle him)

Dale: (Starts to stare off) I'm sorry.

For what?

Dale: For not protecting you tonight. I should have been there then maybe he wouldn't have touched you.

Dale you couldn't help that you had media to do.

Dale: Fuck media. I should've had my crew chief talk in my honor. I'm so pissed off.

But I'm ok. I promise. It's not your fault. (Holds his hand but it's shaking in anger) It's ok. Really.

Dale: (Just stares off straight ahead)

Goodnight sweet Dale. Try to rest ok? (Rubs his hand as I hold it)

Dale: (Waits a bit til I fall asleep and he slowly moves me so he can get up. He puts the blanket up on me and kisses my forehead then he leaves and goes to Clint's motorhome and knocks)

Clint: (Opens the door) What are you doing here Earnhardt?

Dale: (Shoves him against the wall and presses his arm against his neck and looks at him straight in the eyes) Listen here you disgusting piece of shit. I'll never forgive or forget what you done. And I swear to you if you lay a finger on her again I will make damn sure you will get not only fired and banned permanently but arrested and put in prison. And don't you think for a second that I can't wreck your ass and make it look like an accident. (Punches him so hard he hurts his knuckles then he leaves and comes back to the motorhome and cleans his knuckles up and puts a bandage on em)

Dale: (Sits and moves me over slowly so my head is on his shoulder and holds my hand)

(Opens my eyes and and looks at his hand then looks at him) You went and hit Clint didn't you?

Dale: (Nods yes)

(Picks his hand up and kisses where the bandage is) Maybe it'll be healed up by race time.

Dale: I'll be good to go by then.

I hope so. I gotta watch you drive on that in car cam. (Kisses the side of his mouth then lays my head on him)

(He closes his eyes as he holds me to him)

#dale earnhardt jr #dale jr #kevin harvick #clint bowyer #nascar #nascar imagine

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soporificshoebill · 23 days

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not to brainrot but i feel like amangela & courtrasha have tension but on the opposite sides of the same spectrum — amangela’s very will they/won’t they, playful bickering that people fondly roll their eyes over but courtrasha makes you feel like ur wondering why in the same room as them with all the Intense eye contact and charged energy

Hey listen I set up this sideblog for the brainrot, why not indulge. Ur So Right Though. With RPF brain on I mean: Angela and Amanda energy in that token flip Challenge Pit where everyone is laughing but also 👀👀👀👀👀👀 hellooo. vs Arasha and Courtney inducing peak "😳... should we leave" while they say things to each other with straight faces and making INTENSE eye contact.

I figured its bc Courtney is always down for the "👀 haha unless" bit energy and Arasha will ALWAYS take a bit and then lob it back at you with full commitment and completely serious energy and so we (lucky audience) get. you know. YOU KNOW.

I think its just SO stark because quite frankly most people at Smosh engage in bits by elevating energy into ridiculous and Arasha tends to lean towards playing it straight with high intensity + full commitment. And by straight i mean gay. And Courtney is better about not blowing through some of Arasha's bits, and so we also get things like. Courtney returning the energy tenfold and also admiring Arasha and listening to her and we get Arasha watching Courtney with rapt attention and..... oh boy...........

ok rpf brain off, though, Both of them have clearly established this as a fun bit they can do with each other, which v funny, but I, personally, as a gay, might not survive that.

Anyway. Anyway. Summer games courtrashamangela au. yanno.

#smosh rpf #courtrasha #ask tag #more fodder for #summer games courtrashamangela #this isnt quite amangela if only bc this is a courtrasha ask. but i am always spinning amangela in my head.#courtney miller #arasha lalani

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charmingly-evil · 11 months

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Hey! I’m so glad you’re here. How are you? What did you think of the crossovers? This is me, the anon with the background experience in editing. I’m super excited, personally. The thing I can’t get out of my head is that finally we get to see Elliot demonstrate that very deep, unconditional love, that they’ve always had for each other. You know? In 1.0, I felt like there were so many times where Olivia had to suffer in silence and she would demonstrate that love, like Paternity was a big one, or Blinded, where she always ended up on the outside looking in. I have more technical analysis too, but this is the stuff that I love the best 😊 Elliot finally taking that chance and telling her how he feels. The way she realized how hard it must’ve been for him - she realizes how much he loves her! And that last scene is just so special. I have too many thoughts, but I’m pretty satisfied. They are on stable footing now. What do you think if you want to share yet?

Oh my gosh hello! I missed you anon. I LOVED THE FINAL EPISODE! I couldn't have said it better myself. I love how Elliot is so open with Liv about his feelings, borderline blatantly flirting with her. And he's just so AMUSED at how shy and flustered she can get when he does. Those small lines, "we're alone now". *dies*

I really feel for Liv. For so many years she was used to loving him, alone. And now there's all of this possibility. And it must be terrifying for her when Elliot does flirt, because it makes it so real. And Liv is still so scared of him leaving her again and hurting her, that she's not ready to return the feelings and lay her heart out like that. But I like that they're making progress, Elliot telling Liv that he's going away. It's going to be torture having no Bensler for so long though.

I also freaking love Mariska and Chris's chemistry! Elliot was simply helping her down from the table and it was hot. I wish we had a longer final scene with them, before they were rudely interrupted by that call, so Liv could open up a little. I really feel like Liv's psychiatrist telling her that she is deserving of love was HUGE, and we really haven't seen Liv follow-up on that. I feel like that's been missing...Liv just opening up a little more, or reflecting more on being deserving of love. I would love to see Liv speak to Elliot about this, or even Finn or Amanda.

I probably have more thoughts that I can't think about now haha I thought about an epic fanfic to write too! Just haven't had the energy/time to do so. I really hope we get a kiss next season. I feel like such a fool for hoping for it. But we've been waiting for so long! What do you think? Do you think we'll get it?

#bensler

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everythingsf1ne23 · 2 months

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𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟓) | 𝘔𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘭 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢 (𝘒𝘪𝘯)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🎀💕:

@yarrystyleeza If you want to be added check out my pinned post!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 💌:

It’s taken my so long to write this haha but

I hope that you’re all enjoying this little series so far and as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts <3 ~Jess

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 📝:

in which, Michael’s girl releases her first ep (mini album)

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳’𝘴 𝘗𝘰𝘷:

Birdy decided that we should have a little release party, so here we are at her house for once as parties usually would happen at Amanda and Jimmy’s house although we’re almost at the end of our party now.

“She’s gonna be famous, I’m telling y’all”

Alexander announces, and Michael nods in agreement

“Yeah she definitely will”

“Well you better not forget us when you’re famous then”

Birdy states with a stern tone

“Of course I won’t forget you guys,

oh my god, I could never do that”

I reply with a bright smile, there is lots of food laid out on the coffee table, I wouldn’t expect anything less from Birdy.

I pick out a cupcake and I giggle seeing my face on it, I sit back down beside Michael on the sofa

“We’re all so proud of you”

Jimmy says and I couldn’t help but smile

“Aww thank you!”

Soon enough, time passes and it’s now only 10 minutes until midnight, until my debut ep releases, I feel nervous as it’s also my first time releasing any music.

My two legs bounce up and down, this usually happens whenever I feel anxious,

Michael notices and he whispers in my ear,

“Are you nervous?” And I nod in response,

“Yeah I am, I just want everyone to enjoy my music”

“They will, trust me”

Michael hugs me and Alexander speaks up,

“We will be touring in no time!”

He says with an excited tone,

“I can’t wait Alex!” I reply with an equally as excited tone

Then it comes down to under 5 minutes,

“I love your dress, I forgot to say before”

Amanda tells me and Nikita nods in agreement,

“I agree, you look lovely”

“Thank you both so much”

I open my laptop and I load Spotify, waiting to see when it releases

“Less than a minute, oh god”

I say with a nervous giggle and I keep reloading until it’s there,

“People are listening already!”

Alexander screams and suddenly there’s confetti from the confetti cannon everywhere, then Birdy brings out a cake that as well as the cupcakes also has me on it except this time, it’s the cover of the ep.

“I think it’s safe to say that you two need to start planning that tour”

Michael says to Alexander and me,

I hug Michael tightly.

“Thank you for convincing me to do music,

I love you”

I tell him with a kiss,

“I love you even more”

◦ •

#kin rte #kin bbc #kin fanfic #kin fanfiction #charlie cox #michael kinsella #michael kinsella x reader #michael kinsella x you #michael kinsella fluff

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echoexmachina · 8 months

Text

youtube

lyrics under cut:

3.2.1 WOW!

Death’s Empress, Ruler of the Sea Run this town, bow down to the KILLER QUEENS. Two guillotines, we’re so SAVAGE CLEAN SHARP SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART

Better to be LATE than to never SATIATE HUNGRY HUNGRY for some blood on MY PLATE So take the bait, KINGS never play it STRAIGHT SHALL WE START?

Do you even care? You’re wasting my time Stop being obtuse The answer’s right there! So, what, are you blind? Or is something missing? Stop this isn’t fair It’s like you don’t listen!!

無いの新たにお願い一つ愛も変わらずおまけに WARNING WARNING 無いのあなたにお願い一つ張り詰めた思い込め

LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! 歯をむき出して　パッパッパッ　照れくさいね LEFT SIDE! RIGHT SIDE! 歯を突き出して　パッパッパッ HAHA YOU ARE KING

You’ll never find me (Death’s Empress, Ruler of the Sea) You would never try to see (Run this town, bow down to the KILLER QUEENS.) Past the static on the screen (SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART)

I can’t control it and I just know it doesn’t matter what’s inside of me (SLASH THROUGH YOUR HEART)

I can’t remember Never seen a tape where the plot aligns elegantly

I’m out there somewhere Rotting in the nowhere But you’ll never listen

NOW NEXT PART–

Answer my question You don't have to answer that ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!

Do you even care You’re wasting my time This isn’t fair

Let me OUT OF HERE!!! (3, 2, 1– )

Ratatata YOU ARE KING

I can’t remember (Up left down right down left down right!) Never seen a tape where (left down right! Uhhh) the plot aligns elegantly

(YOU ARE KING) I’m out there somewhere (Up left down right down left down!) Rotting in the nowhere (No…) But you’ll never listen to me! (Up right down left right down left right.)

(Up down down— Ugh!)

YOU’LL NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!!

GURA: Yeah, fist bump! WOOLY: Okay CALLI: Yeah, dude, that was sick! AMANDA: Oh, Wooly.

#amanda the adventurer #amanda the adventurer fan song #kanaria #mashup #mashups #jakeneutron #toastymarshmellow #meelz #calliope mori #mori calliope #gawr gura #gura gawr #holomyth #hololive myth #Youtube #don't listen x king

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flynniganrider · 2 months

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i know that i’ve talked about brian’s route a lot but it just genuinely makes me sad that it would’ve been so much better if they had switched the last two dates. amanda and daisy would have had time to get closer (meeting in the park, cookout, mini golf date, tea party with craig’s kids) prior to their parent trap at the fair. dadsona could have apologized for his behavior and acknowledged whatever insecurities he might have had and they could have ended their one sided feud on the ferris wheel. then for the third date dadsona could have admitted that he was bad at fishing. and maybe brian gently teaching him how to fish and being genuinely nice and helpful, seeing their daughters had become friends, having good time like a family, and then dadsona realizing his one sided beef was so ridiculous and he was falling in love with brian would have made more sense then like you know… treating him like shit for two and a half dates and then saying “oh haha turns out i had a crush on you actually!”

i actually like the whole competitive aspect of their relationship, and that we get to see dadsona insecure and i think him being a cunt and a hater sometimes is nice because he’s generally a nice and silly guy BUT it’s just too much like tf is wrong with you? i believe dadsona and brian are very compatible but their whole arc is dadsona being an asshole like ughh

anyways… as amanda says: You know what? I don't have any of the energy required to properly unpack your weird fixation with asserting your masculinity.

#like imo if u switch two dates everything makes more sense and feels more satisfying #dream daddy #ddadds

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nothingunrealistic · 8 months

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review roundup: billions 7x03 “winston dick energy”

place your bets on how far i’ll get into this post before my commentary shifts into all-caps!

New York Times: ‘Billions’ Season 7, Episode 3 Recap: Confidence Games

Which would be fine if Chuck were operating in a vacuum. Instead, he has an office full of lawyers champing at the bit for the opportunity to unleash their full skills on unsuspecting white-collar criminals everywhere — the kinds of cases that turned their freshly reinstated boss into a beloved man of the people. His reticence in choosing his opening salvo frustrates everyone: his right-hand man, Ira; his father, Charles Sr. (Jeffrey DeMunn); his button man, Karl; and the Southern District’s bold up-and-comer Amanda Torre (Hannah Hodson).

or, as i described it to milo in the heat of liveblogging: all of those characters (and wendy!) call chuck a wuss.

Then along comes Winston (Will Roland). A twerpy quant who’s been a core part of the Taylor Mason team for some time, largely in spite of himself, Winston quits the firm and immediately — like, within eight hours — goes into business for himself.

can’t say i expected anything better than this. correction: a core part of the taylor mason team for some time, largely in spite of taylor forgetting he’s alive, let alone that he and his work are valuable, until he quits and starts trying to make money that won’t go to them.

Acting on advice from Wendy (you can see why Dr. Mayer is concerned, no?), Wags storms into Winston’s apartment, where an attempted come-to-Jesus meeting with Taylor and Philip is already underway, and all but attacks the guy.

thanks for pointing out wendy’s role in that, at least.

Unless he comes back to Prince Cap, software in tow, as a sort of indentured servant, Wags will see to it personally that Winston’s reputation and finances are left about as intact as ancient Carthage.

“comes back to prince cap” is interesting phrasing, considering the odds are against us ever seeing him in the prince cap office again.

Watching a good episode of “Billions,” which this undoubtedly is,

not in my house it isn’t!

is like watching someone expertly play a puzzle game — solving a Rubik’s cube, say, or beating a level of “Tetris.” You gaze in admiration as skilled hands slide pieces and panels from one place to the next until everything lines up exactly where it should. Chuck’s friends and enemies inadvertently guide him to the correct course of action. Wendy’s petulance puts her on the path toward a major breakthrough. Winston’s defection provides Wags with the fresh kill he requires.

“the people around chuck help him make the right choice. wendy’s character flaws help her make the right choice. winston is thrown to wags for him to tear apart like a side of beef. these are all comparable and equally indicative of good writing.”

Notably absent from this episode, barring a pointed glance or pained look here and there: Taylor, Wendy and Wags’s quest to stop their boss’s rise to power.

you could have ended that sentence at “taylor” and it would still be accurate.

Perhaps, chastened by Axe’s rejection last week, they’ve taken his “if you can’t beat him, join him” advice to heart, at least temporarily.

if you can’t beat him, beat the guy he wants to sue with hammers!

Before Wags takes charge of the operation, there’s some concern in the Prince Cap inner circle about destroying Winston publicly. Mike is running for president, after all, and America is a very pro-labor environment these days.

really makes you wonder why the last commentary anyone offers on winston is “spread this tale [of his humiliation] far and wide to anyone who will listen.” ?????

Vulture: Billions Recap: Hamster Wheel

It’s pretty hard to beat “Winston Dick Energy,”

haha hard to beat dick energy

Case in point, the best storyline of “Winston Dick Energy” is Wags’s orchestrated humiliation of Winston, his highly inappropriate brand name, and his risk-management software.

😒😒😒😒😒

Classic Billions sabotage and I loved every minute of it, but I don’t see how or if this plot device will affect Mike Prince’s presidential campaign.

on the one hand, it could set up a revenge plot for winston that negatively affects prince and his campaign. on the other hand, it could just be the result of the writers wanting to kick winston around for more than thirty seconds before writing him out and/or give wags someone to destroy, with no payoff intended ever.

On that note, the Wendy storyline this week is relatively straightforward: Ben Kim lets it slip that everyone at Prince Capital is cheating on Dr. Wendy Rhoades with Holland Taylor’s Dr. Eleanor Mayer — and that Mayer is the bee’s knees.

everyone except winston, of course!

And I have to suspect that someone is pulling the strings behind Mayer … (Axe? Prince?)

what??? why would you assume either of them is pulling her strings at this point? (especially axe — there’s no way he bothered to plant a therapist for taylor to consult and then recommend to their coworkers more than six months ago. he was busy war profiteering and not giving a fuck about the united states.)

The next morning, Wags hijacks Winston’s big pitch meeting right before the COOs show up. In front of Kate Sacker, Taylor, and Philip, Wags stages a twisted version of This Is Your Life (an old TV show enjoyed by members of the Greatest Generation), though Winston only has himself to blame for his pathetic internet search history — and his hacktivism.

oh my god! literal victim blaming! i should have put *that* on my season 7 bingo card!

And it’s not like MPC’s deal is that shabby: If Winston cooperates, he can come back and run the software himself.

first of all, he’s not going to come back to mpc in any meaningful sense. second of all, winston’s whole goal was to not have to work for mpc (or anyone else) ever again. being dragged back onto the hamster wheel — even if he isn’t physically in the cage — against his will is, in fact, a shabby deal!

What does work is a late-night intervention at Grant’s Tomb with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. (Ah, Billions — they do this because they can.)

rarely has billions been more aptly and concisely described.

I do like how Billions deliberately avoids any mention of the name “Trump”: Senior’s story only needed the words “Bedminster golf club,” and “his first wife,” to get the point across.

ironically, i didn’t understand that joke at all until first reading this portion of this recap. my bad for not remembering the significance of bedminster golf club, clearly.

Fan Fun with Damian Lewis (Damianista): Billions on Showtime, Season 7 Episode 3: Winston Dick Energy

The first Axe-less episode in the final season has three storylines that are light-hearted compared to those in the first two.

oh, yeah, for sure. so glad we could take our minds off the looming threat of a fascist presidential candidate by watching half a dozen people (some of whom are ostensibly opposed to said presidential candidate) work together to stalk, assault, and blackmail their autistic former coworker because their ringleader desperately wants to RETVRN to the good old days when he could treat anyone he wanted like that. how lighthearted!

Even Rian, who seems to be the only one that will be missing Winston, finds it weird that she will miss her colleague, but then he was the only one that looked at her the same way after they were forced to move to the main floor which Rian calls “Princident.” Haha.

Talking about Rian, I wonder whether Prince put her name on the list he submitted to Bradford in the last episode… but he is now in his office, I find him not attending Winston’s party a bit rude, talking to Bradford about his SuperPAC FEC disclosure that he will share with Chuck.

that is NOT what “princident” refers to, and you should realize that given that you referred to rian’s tryst with prince — the actual meaning of “princident” — in your very next thought.

It turns out WDE is an AI-based risk management software that can give a considerable bump to returns – exactly what Bradford asked Prince to do in their first meeting.

gee whiz! sounds like winston and his work are pretty valuable and prince et al should have tried harder to keep him around!

Wags follows Taylor and Philip, without asking for permission, to Winston’s apartment and adds his “scaring him out of hiding” to carrots (“head of risk management”) and sticks (“a potential lawsuit”) Taylor and Philip use to have Winston surrender the code.

sure used the carrots & sticks analogy myself to describe everyone’s approach to winston this episode. pretty shortsighted of taylor to not realize that offering him another job at mpc would be a pathetic carrot. if he wanted to run his software for you, he’d have stayed and showed it to you, not left and sold it on his own.

I said it before and I will say it again. I do not get why Kate is still on Prince’s side. Is it really the future prospects she has when Prince is in the White House?

that, and the money, and the greater freedom she has when not under chuck’s thumb. she always saw her work at the sdny (and later, the nyag) as a launching pad for her future ambitions, not a calling in itself. that work was holding her back instead, so she left.

I do not buy it since Kate has always been very cautious in every step she has taken. So I cannot wrap my head around her staying with him even after she has found out about his untaxed billions in crypto! Could it be that she is a double agent of sorts?!?!

i highly doubt that she is a double agent at this juncture. (and she stayed with chuck for a long time even knowing he’d engaged in illegal conduct.)

Entertainment Weekly: Billions recap: Chuck and Prince's old rivalry re-emerges

[…]

you guessed it: no mention of taylor at all! normally i’d be mad, but in this case it seems quite appropriate.

The whole plot is wonderful, from Winston's epically tedious and uncaring "going away" party, to the scene where Wags lets loose on him at his apartment, planting a bug that eventually allows Wags and the team to track who Winston plans on pitching and ruin his chances.

wonderful! who wouldn’t be having tons of fun watching everyone’s collective boot stamp on one guy’s face forever!

Still, this is the best episode of the season so far because it does have quite a few entertaining scenes, and a lot of focus on character motivations.

sean and kyle have both expressed this opinion. we may as well be living in different worlds.

Fan Fun with Damian Lewis (Gingersnap): The Unbeatable, Unstoppable, Unparalleled MVPs from Billions Season 7 Episode 3 ‘Winston Dick Energy’

Gingersnap

Overall Episode MVP: Dr. Eleanor Mayer. What a rich character. Small but mighty! It’s that very allure why you don’t see her coming.

Wendy accuses her of rustling up her cattle (patients) but Dr. Mayer counters they weren’t noticeably branded until she dug deeper and found their burns. Ouch!

i took note of that line as well! the exact phrasing:

WENDY: You rustle someone’s cattle, they’re gonna come looking. Was it the welcoming literary patter that helped you snare my patients? DR. MAYER: I didn’t see your brand on them. At first. After talking to them, the burns became more visible.

get her ass, eleanor!

The Scandoval Award – And the winner is….Rian…for giving us a new portmanteau by combining Prince + incident into “Princident” to describe their *ahem* tryst.

at least someone at ffwdl realized what that referred to.

Food for Thought:

Hey Ben Kim, you can’t drink alcohol and take Wellbutrin. Next time lay off the Heineken at farewell parties. Tuk’s on Adderall and Ben’s on Wellbutrin. Is Dr. Eleanor Mayer an over-medicater???

i sure looked up whether or not it’s safe to mix wellbutrin and alcohol myself after this episode. (answer: it’s not advisable, since wellbutrin can reduce your alcohol tolerance, and both of them make seizures more likely. but you might be able to have small amounts of alcohol without it being a problem.) but you’re not supposed to mix mdma and alcohol, either, and somehow prince and rian managed just fine doing that in 6x10. (also, ben hadn’t taken his wellbutrin that day, which was why he approached wendy about it.)

without Getting Into the ethics of psychiatry and psychiatric medication, because i’m not qualified to talk about that: i don’t think “this psychiatrist has at least two patients who are each taking at least one medication” is really grounds to go “is this psychiatrist an over-medicator???” (also, we don’t even know if tuk’s adderall was prescribed or not.)

Lady Trader

[…]

The Most Loyal: When every other Prince Capper has cheated on Wendy with Mayer, Wags makes sure Wendy knows she will always be his “Dr. Mojo”. This is why you want Wags in the trenches with you!

well, wags is probably also the only prince capper that wendy would never screw over for her own benefit, so that’s no surprise.

The “Tell Me You Wrote Your Pitch Presentation with AI, Without Telling Me You Wrote Your Pitch Presentation with AI” Award: Winston. As someone who has read and had to write pitches, that description slide was as Auric Goldfinger once said “words you may have overheard which cannot possibly have any significance to you or your organization”. It said nothing at all. You disappoint me Mr. Winston!

here’s the full text of his pitch, for anyone who wants to judge it by this standard. as for my take on it, well…

The Tired Old Trope Award: “hold the rich and powerful criminality accountable”, trading and earning is an “addiction”, blah, blah, blahdy blah. We get it, the writers hate wealthy people, but I don’t see them doing what they do for free!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh, lady trader. you’re never going to figure out who that sign is for, are you?

The “Do Your Research” Award”: Wendy would not have been able to give Ben Kim his prescription for Wellbutrin with a prescription pad – beginning on March 16, 2017 all prescriptions in NYS must be electronic. Also, Philip states that Winston’s risk management software is using ASI for risk mitigation. However ASI doesn’t exist yet. If I’m going to give credit when the writers get it right, well I got to call them when they flub too.

fair enough.

TheTailThatWagsTheDog

[…]

Biggest Absence – Dave? No Dave? Is she out of the picture now that Chuck has his own authority back? I still don’t buy Chuck getting the SDNY position back so easily. Who was occupying that spot before, and what happened to them? Too convenient for me.

i wondered about that as well. her absence in this episode and sacker’s in 7x02, despite both of them being series regulars, is a little concerning. as for chuck’s sdny spot, his quick return frankly was overly convenient, but billions is like that sometimes. and it’s possible that it was occupied by an acting / interim us attorney who wouldn’t have been around indefinitely anyway.

And now my update on the analogies/cultural references …

Worst Analogy Moment – Kate Sacker bringing up Phil Mickelson to Prince. This is exactly the kind of nonsensical reference that they have introduced ad nauseum over the past couple of seasons. It’s there because they want it there, not because it makes any sense. It feels totally out of character for someone like Sacker to bring up a person like Mickelson, and Prince’s response is so obvious. Their writing can be so clever – they have proven this time and time again – and yet they too often fall back on these tired clichés. I wish they would stop.

Most Encouraging Analogy Moment – I did not hear one analogy out of Dr. Mayer. Maybe she’s too old to do them? I don’t know – but it was wonderfully refreshing. I hope she stays clean.

the references have always been there because the writers want them there. they’re entertaining themselves first and foremost.

the first line out of dr. mayer’s mouth was a quote from a room of one’s own, by virginia woolf, and wendy pointed this out twice within the next thirty seconds. did you not notice, or does this not count because it wasn’t in the form of an analogy?

Ending on a Good Note – I love the “three-dimensional game of chess” Chuck is now playing with Prince. That is the fun stuff. I do not know how this is all going to play out, but I am definitely invested – and that is what I want in my shows – keep me aching for more. So more of this intrigue, just less culture please!

highly entertained by someone asking for a tv show to have “less culture please!”

Fan Fun with Damian Lewis (Lady Trader): “From the Trader’s Desk”: Crisis of Confidence?

I was asked why MPC is claiming ownership of Winston’s software. If he developed it how does MPC have the rights to it? Well, the type of risk management software Winston is trying to sell would most certainly take months (if not years) to develop, code, back test, and debug. Which means there is no way he could have developed it overnight. If what Taylor says is correct, (that Winston used data to test his software using MPC trader transactions) then that also would make it property of MPC. By using data and equipment owned by MPC, legally Winston doesn’t own it. Could a court possibly rule that he co-owns it? Yes. Also, most funds would have a clause written in his contract that he would not be able to market any type of software for a stated period (usually 6-9 months). His best course of action would have been to offer it to MPC first to either buy him out or lease the program. If they passed, he then could have tried to get permission from MPC to market it to other firms. Just another example of unnecessary greed killing a golden goose.

lengthy, yes, but this is a helpful clarification on the (il)legality of winston selling his risk management software on his own. until the last sentence, which i’m guessing is referring to winston’s greed rather than mpc’s greed. can you perhaps think of any other reasons why winston would have wanted to sell his software on his own rather than via mpc? perhaps something he said outright, such as “i’m done working for other people”? take your time! i’m here all week!

It was good to see Wags, Wendy and Chuck get their belief in themselves back, all in different ways.

can’t say i agree!

Winston agrees let MPC license a watered-down version of the software to other firms, and Winston is a Prince Capper again, as Taylor will let him run it.

again, winston is not A Prince Capper Again in any meaningful sense, and it wouldn’t automatically be a good thing if he were!

Out of the three characters who are having confidence issues this week, Wendy would be the last person I would think would have any issues. It was very surprising to me to see her going on this journey, and she has always been the glue that held everything and everyone together.

skill issue.

I could understand why maybe Taylor would see someone else (Wendy did burn her pretty good with Taylor’s Dad back in S4E7) but the rest of the gang is shocking. They all see her as just a performance coach who only cares about results, and not a therapist they can talk to about anything. Wendy is wounded by their words.

have you seen the way wendy’s treated ben and tuk and rian in the past? it’s not at all surprising that they’d go to another therapist. and sacker and philip haven’t known wendy long enough to have any reason to trust her, especially after reading the draft of her book. the only one i’m at all surprised by is dollar bill.

But Mayer doesn’t think they do the same thing. And this is where Mayer loses me. She basically says that Wendy’s just a dealer keeping her addicted patients “on the hamster wheel”. What complete and utter bullshit. It can’t be that these people like what they do? It can’t be that they enjoy the feeling of being alive doing what they are good at?

THAT IS THE POINT. THAT’S THE QUESTION BEING ASKED. wendy and dr. mayer have different opinions about the reasons that the prince cappers do what they do! are you always this affronted when someone suggests that maybe working at a hedge fund isn’t the greatest job in the world? hell, have you registered any of the misery that these characters have experienced as a direct or indirect result of the work they do?

This doctor wants Wendy to free her patients, but I ask from what? You can want to improve yourself (and go see Mayer) but at the same time enjoy what you do and want to be the best at it (and see Wendy). I don’t see it as an either/or situation.

i put years of hard work into getting my capitalism degree at capitalism college & now everyones like “oh capitalisms bad”,“its ineffective” fuck off

I’m just afraid this “doctor” is going to mess with Wendy’s head. And a sharp and focused Wendy is what’s needed for Axe later in the season.

what’s needed *for axe*??? do you think she exists just to serve him??? in this of all seasons???

#billions #7x03 #review roundup

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