#( it's like 3am when I post this so its probably going to need some editing later LMAO )

[divinitysheart]

ACHIVEMENT UNLOCKED ;; ONLY MEMORIES

It’s pointless but Namine continuously tries to fall asleep, even as her mind races and shifts uncomfortably in the silence.

She’s tired of thinking and feeling today, she just wants to stop it, she just wants to be okay now. She wants to be okay, honestly she does, and she truly wants to be brave, but it’s so hard to. It had exhausted her to pretend it was fine in front of Noctis without breaking down crying at his feet, and beg him not to leave her alone and trapped. But it had to be done, for she couldn’t force him to stay any longer and keep him from his DUTY, and she couldn’t go with him for her DESTINITY still lays here inside the castle.

But this situation is only temporary, or so she wants to believe. There’s no way that no one would ever happen to stumble upon a Castle like this again, not with how the Organization operated. If she learned anything from her time around these people, it’s that they likely had some sort of backup plan in case Namine wasn’t able to alter his memory.

But now that brings a new worry, who’s the poor soul she’ll have to alter the memories of next? How many people must she hurt to be able to gain freedom? How would Noctis be able to look at her the same knowing that she could have hurt so many people? It made her feel nauseous just thinking about it, and it’s not like she could bet on them being as strong as Noctis had been. Which would leave her with no choice but to do as she’s told and alter their memories to whatever they told her to.

She’s a pathetic monster.

No. No she’s not, she’s just doing what she can to survive. And there’s nothing wrong with just trying to survive it at this point, because it’s the only thing she’s ever known how to do. It’s not her fault she’s like this, it’s not like she asked to be made this way.

At this point, Namine is defeated in the battle for sleep. It’s too much right now, everything is just, too much. She can’t handle the ache she feels in her chest where her heart should be, she can’t handle the thoughts of whether or not she’s a monster for what she will have to do in future time, and she especially cannot handle the thought of her dearest and first friend never being able to look at her the same way again. So she does what she does best, she draws.

But it seems as if the world truly wishes to spite her as the paper makes a small yet painful cut to her finger, which causes a hiss of pain to leave Namine’s mouth. Even though it’s normal for her to get paper cuts sometimes when she drew, it felt as if the world itself was poking fun and laughing at her misery.

Why must the world be so cruel to her? What had she done to make it hate her so much? All she ever does is exist and the world seems to laugh and mock her for even breathing. Everything feels so pointless, she almost just wants to crawl back into the comfort of darkness and be consumed whole again.

But that’s just what the world wants her to do. They want to see her give up on the light that she’d been given and just accept that the darkness would consume her once more. Maybe it’s the fact she’s finally thinking a little more clearly, but she hears the memory of her and Noctis’ promise echo throughout her head.

Any thoughts of giving up or sinking back into the darkness slowly dissipated, for nothing was stronger than the promise the two of them made. The promise was the light amongst the darkness of her thoughts, for it reminded her to keep having hope and to be brave even in the face of her worst fears.

A breath of air is slowly inhaled and then exhaled as she finds the thoughts that once plagued her mind to have left her for now. Even the paper cut was now forgotten as she once again reached for the paper and pencils to finally do what she wanted to do, draw.

It takes several tries but within an hour or so, she manages to finish it. The end result is Noctis happy with his friends and Luna, which is something that brings Namine comfort. The idea of him finally returning to his home and being welcomed back with a warm embrace by friends and loved ones alike, it could almost make her cry tears of joy, but she didn’t quite know why.

Until the realization hits her, Namine finally realizes that even if she didn’t make it out of here, even if she could be only memories within his mind, as long as he can happily be with the people he loves, she could truly rest easy for the rest of her days. For anything is worth it to see him happy once again.

#⊰ painting but with words ⊱ drabbles #✴ remnants of memory ✴ namine #( hi yes ive been thinking about these two again ) #( it's like 3am when I post this so its probably going to need some editing later LMAO )

[dropout-ninja]

:3cc Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

(Picture me headbonking you like a cat)

Why would you do this to me with my 108 fics and more wips in docs not yet posted (some of which would make this list)

I am terrible at picking rankings help

Uhhhh

When I Wake From This Dream With Chains All Around Me (Hollow Knight) where my HK writing got kicked off. Longfic.

It’s Burned In My Mind and all of its associated works (Hollow Knight) absolute fever dream, wrote in a splurge of dissociation, wild time and probably my favorite fic I’ve written. Multichap.

The If We Could Just Be What We Wanted verse (Transformers Prime with a dose of a bunch of other continuities) particularly the first one (which needs edits but in terms of tone and characters and me managing plots genuinely holds up really well to the last few years), Damned If I Do (oneshot), and poor Chaotic Unity (longfic), who I had so many seeds of foreshadowing put into the first fic for and then it got read by like five perfect of the original’s readers XD

control’s graveyard (Monsterverse Godzilla. Yep.) entirely self indulgent fun times, power dynamics central, character studies on everyone, I poured into worldbuilding and backstories and I think I managed to do show don’t tell with them better here than I manage elsewhere. Someone said that I managed to keep the main character “alien and genuinely despicable” while somehow keeping them sympathetic, and that praise is put on my mental fridge forever. I reread this fic more than I do any of my other ones. Genuinely my favoritism for it is showing hard. Multichap.

Immolation (MTMTE/Lost Light) Haven’t read this one in a year so grammar wise I’m sure it’s a wreck, but my 3am brain went off on this one and its stream of consciousness style. Oneshot.

Wyrm Off A String (Hollow Knight) based on crack and others’ art, ridiculous premise, somehow the best worldbuilding and foreshadowing of a twist ending I’ve done. Oneshot.

Linger (Hollow Knight) mad niche, another one that began because of crack and shitposts I saw. Loss of self, body horror, psychological horror, non linear dream madness, what’s not for me to love. Multichap in progress

Wallow (Hollow Knight) another incredibly niche one nobody asked for, that is actually going to be turned into a multichap and has a lot of juicy to a self indulgent author tension and shenanigans already written, but I’m waiting until I’ve written most all of it before I start posting the new chapters. Dubbed by my friends as the Mean White Lady Fic. Traitor Lord my beloved. (Oneshot on ao3, multichap to be)

sometimes family is a mad scientist spider, his amoral ex, their build-a-child kit gone right, and the human sidekick (IDW2005 Transformers) oneshots collection. Quite proud of the Verity and Prowl povs. Tarantulas my blorbo.

ex cinere (House of Ashes) for capturing the voice and worldbuilding after I relistened to Randolph’s things a million times. I feel like I managed to keep aliens alien for it (short multichap)

And CarnEVILs? In MY Dirtmouth? (It’s More Likely Than You Think!) (Hollow Knight) halloween oneshot with an Elderbug pov that feels very Elderbug and Dirtmouth vibes as good here as in Chains. Elderbug did not enjoy his obligatory grimm teatime™️.

Hey look this is not five. 108 fics too difficult to narrow down for me

#ashyronfire #I can’t narrow it down to five #I didn’t even get to get to things like my first HK oneshot #wherein the radiance ripped her own heart out to stop dealing with mortal fears and it was what became the nightmare heart #My fic library has some weeeird ones in it #something for everyone perhaps! #also didn’t mention any of the wips that are Long but not yet on ao3 #like a certain kung fu panda longfic that is unreliable narrator loveliness #I may write a lot of niche things that are self indulgent because no one else had written them yet #but I do tend to love my works outside of hating the grammar and language errors I find later #thanks for the ask anyway XD #I feel so awkward tagging this with its fandom but uhh #hollow knight #transformers fics #my fics #Godzilla #Monsterverse #transformers

[ettawritesnstudies]

Storge Edit Update Ch. 9

(links to catch up, I didn’t do any dedicated posts for #1-3: here’s 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8)

Stats

48709 words, 95 pages (standard Word settings) in total

This chapter is 7200 words and 13 pages. My chapter lengths vary between 6-17 pages so I need to decide if I should break up the longer ones by scene or leave them alone.

This chapter includes 2 entirely new scenes, and I finally reached the part where the new pacing catches up to draft 1, so I could edit again instead of rewriting! (It’s also one of my favorite scenes, so I was excited to revisit it)

I hit my 10K goal for the month with this chapter! I’ll be taking a bit of a break to finish my 10K in Runaways but I’ll be back to this soon enough. I’m almost to the fast easy-to-edit parts and I can’t wait to start making quicker progress.

Excerpt/Commentary/Taglist under the cut!

Pre-Training Chatter

“Since when have you cared about your magic being useful?” Grace asked, cocking her head to look down at her brother.

“Probably since Acheran started letting us work with him. I know you don’t pay attention to what he’s making because it isn’t anything you could use without draining it, but some of it is fascinating. There’s so much about magicraft that we don’t know. So many ways that it could be used to help make people’s lives easier. It’s potential…” He drifted off, considered, then continued in a pensive, bitter tone.

“I guess I really started thinking about it since the arena. Lyss wants the magic boy because of his power? The irony is that if I knew how to control my abilities, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. I spent so many years afraid to try, and couldn’t count on raw power saving me when I needed to know.”

Hope

“Don’t be snippy,” Enne told Grace, “It’s an honorable ideal. But we have to be cautious about it. Otherwise, all the scheming and dreaming won’t do a bit of good when we’re all dead or in the dungeons. Dad could bring the news and plans to Philomena’s family and spread the word during the visit. Quietly, just among our people at first. But word will spread like weeds in the field, and wild ideas of hope will be stronger than the scare.”

“Hope…” Luca said the word quietly, almost reverently. “It won’t stop this madness on its own, but it’s half the battle, isn’t it?”

Aimon put an encouraging hand on his shoulder, and put his other around Grace’s shoulders to pull her close. “Yes, it is, but I think you two knew that already.”

Hope, but at 3am

“Are you still scared?” Luca asked. His voice pitched high, and the words came tumbling out almost faster than he could say them, “Scared you’re running out of time, that is? Scared that the world is moving too fast and you’re not ready for it to change, and you won’t ever be ready when the future comes crashing into the present? Scared that you’ll be powerless to change the world until its too late for it to matter?”

Acheran gazed at him through the dark, the weight of the words settling heavily on his wings. “Terrified.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I spent too long feeling sorry for myself to let you make the same mistake.”

“I don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself. I want to act, but anything I could do would only cause trouble. We’ve come full circle again,” Luca grumbled... “Grace came up with an idea at dinner, that we could try to garner the support of our community, to stage a quiet rebellion of our own. There are so many ways it could backfire, it’s such a distant hope…”

He trailed off, but when he spoke again, his voice was steady, resolute. “Hope’s all we have. I need to be prepared to kindle that.”

“Luca. I think if anyone can kindle the hope of the Debilan, it’s you. And I’m prepared to build it up alongside you,” Acheran said, and with that, gave a heavy blow to the final rail, completing the stairwell.

Commentary

This is the first chapter with full scenes from Enne and Grace’s POVs. I’m still debating how to manage seven (7!!) pov characters in one book, whether through limited perspective or omniscient without head hopping. The way the plot works out with characters splitting up, I need at least that many to cover all the story beats and so I think introducing them slowly is helping to mitigate some of the 1st draft characterization problems

For not having a POV in this chapter, Luca gets to have an small existential crisis AND training scenes, so I had a lot of fun with the angst and experimentation as he starts to slowly figure out his abilities. I also finally got Acheran to share his backstory (stubborn introvert never bothered to share his motivations before now :P). It’s satisfying to fill in the gaps in the character development that I glossed over on the first draft. Since this was a slower transition chapter between the inciting incident and rising action to the midpoint twist, I had more time to enjoy their interactions.

Next chapter I get to rewrite a disaster of a fight scene and turn it into an riot>ambush>fight scene, so that’s going to be fun! Next update you can look forward to some excerpts from everyone’s favorite maniacs.

Storge taglist (ask to be +/-): @inkwell-attitude  @re-writing-h @thescreamingtwenties @siarven @kittensartswriting  @yearlyaquariace @abalonetea @andiwriteunderthemoon  @andifthestarsweretodie @davey-in-a-minivan @the-great-teller-of-tales @lothloriien @isanyonetoknow @piyawrites @viawrites-andacts @fuyugomori  @thiscrypticfangirl @thescatteredscribbles @avian-king @writeblrfantasy

#storge edit #storgewip #storge update #storge edit chapter 9 #ch 9 #wip excerpts #my writing

[hoodharlow]

Las Cuñadas

AN: everyone thank Cal's trainer for not posting him bc now I'm back on  schedule. One of the characters introduced is dedicated to my bby @cherryxwildflower as thank you for always being down to hear me ramble about Cal and Claudia whether its a 3am or 2pm, ily. Another shout out to @karajaynetoday for sharing her Australian knowledge with me. And thank you to @d-oaks for always finding time to beta read and edit <3

Requested?: Yes by my girl @myloverboyash [AND BECAUSE IM GREEDY AF... “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” with Calum 👀🥺]

Warnings: smut, deadass wasn't gonna write it, pos ni modos

Word Count: 4.2k words

Calum checked his phone again. Claudia and Ashton were supposed to be back at her house an hour ago. The night before the tour bus dropped them off in LA, Ashton hitched a ride with Calum to San Diego because Claudia invited him to an outdoor yoga class in Chicano Park. The two had insisted Calum join them, but he stayed behind with Claudia’s brother, Danny. 

“They were supposed to be back an hour ago,” Calum told Danny.

“They’re probably at Por Vida. Claudia never misses the chance to get an horchata latte,” Danny said; his eyes never left his phone. Then he lifted his head and looked at Calum for a few seconds. “Or she’s pestering Ashton for some details about your sister, so she doesn’t fuck up.”

“I told her thousands of times not to worry. My sister is going to love her,” Calum said. 

Danny shrugged and got up from where he was sitting. 

Calum watched Danny continue to text with one hand while he made a grilled cheese. He quietly placed one in front of Calum and leaned against the sink texting. He cursed to himself and placed his phone face down next to him.

“Okay, so I’m seeing someone and Claudia hates them?” Danny told Calum.

“Paco?” Calum asked, unsure who else Claudia hated. 

“What?— No!” Danny said flustered. “This girl from high school. They were rivals in almost every aspect from what clubs they ran to soccer."

"Is she the one that tripped Claudia when the scouts were there?"

"It was an accident," Danny defended. Calum raised his hands in the air, not wanting to get into it. Danny dropped his shoulders. "Sorry, Claudia is just really you know Claudia. When someone crosses her, they're her enemy for life… except for Ashton. Anyways, I'm bringing her over for Thanksgiving dinner and since your sister is going to be here, she'll have to be nice to her. Right?"

Calum shrugged and bit into his sandwich. They ate in silence. At some point Danny placed a bowl of fruit and a glass of agua de jamaica in front of him. Calum saw how similar Danny and Claudia were. Sure she may look like their mom while he looks like their dad, but their actions spoke louder. 

They both are very nurturing and protective of people they cared about. They see the best in people even when others don’t. It was amusing to watch them both act like they weren't similar when they were. 

Danny excused himself to make a phone call, leaving Calum to catch up on the first few seasons of Holiday Baking Championship. Claudia got him hooked on all the Food Network Baking Censorship shows. At the start of tour they had binged the Halloween Baking Championship.

The front door opened. Claudia quickly came in followed by Ashton. She walked past Calum and called after Danny. He looked at her walk around long enough to notice she wasn't wearing panties under her leggings. 

"I'm so glad Claudia doesn't hate me," Ashton said, taking a seat next to Calum. He sipped his iced coffee. Then he started playing with the sticker on the coffee cup. "We were at the coffee shop, and she bumped into this girl. They chatted a bit, but as we were driving back she went in. Something about how that girl ruined her chances of getting a full ride to UCLA only to get pregnant."

"She's pregnant!" Calum whisper-yelled. He turned to Claudia where she was talking to Danny in a hushed voice. She was gesturing to her stomach, motioning a pregnant belly. Danny's face paled as he listened to her. If Calum connected the dots properly, then thanksgiving was going to be messy.

***

Calum pulled up to Claudia's house after the show. Diego had originally driven Claudia to the show, but he ended up leaving early because he was going back to LA to film another episode of Guy's Grocery Games. Calum had been ecstatic to find out  Diego was one of the judges. He even posted how much he was a fan of Diego to his Instagram stories. While he waited for their turn to go on stage with the Chainsmokers, Calum posted a series of pictures of him and Diego. He even managed to sneak one in with Claudia in the ten slides.

There were mixed comments. Some sent Claudia virtual glares because her and Calum looked like a couple in the picture. Some recognized her as one of the radio hosts from their LA show at the Meet You There Tour. Some were just happy for him to be meeting Diego. His favorite comment was from Guy Fieri, which earned him a follow back. He was one step closer to meeting him.

"He cropped me out," Claudia gasped. She showed him her phone. It was a picture of him, Diego and Claudia's arm. 

"You think he'll follow me back now?" Calum asked before chuckling. 

"Maybe, but I wouldn't get my hopes up. Took him three years to follow me back, and I'm his daughter. You're just some guy who raws his daughter." Claudia leaned over and kissed his cheek. She tugged him closer to her kiss his lips. "We should go inside. I'm getting cold."

"Is that why your nipples are poking through your shirt?" Calum joked as he playfully tugged one of them.

"No, it was because you parallel parked." She smirked.

They made their way inside the house. Claudia checked in with her parents to let them know they're home and are gonna watch a movie down stairs. She went to her room and slipped into one of Calum's sweats and some fuzzy socks before going back down. Calum was coming out of the guest bathroom clad in Claudia's greatest weakness, grey sweats and his Sensations shirt. 

Not even fifteen minutes into the movie and Claudia and Calum were devouring each other. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as Calum's hands ran over her thighs and ass.

They hadn't had the chance to enjoy each other. It had been almost a month since Claudia's birthday, the last time they saw each other. Even then Diego was with them, so they couldn't sneak off into a secluded hallway or Calum's car. 

"Here let me save this shirt of yours." Calum told her when he pulled away. "We wouldn't want you to poke holes through it. Plus I wanna love on them.” He smirked as he pulled down her shirt, releasing her breasts. He ran his thumb on her sensitive nipples.

Claudia leaned back, giving him better access, and quietly moaned out as he gently nipped under her breasts. Both of his hands were on her nipples, twisting and rubbing them. His tongue traced the pert peaks. 

She pulled his lips back to hers as she slowly grinded on his hardened cock. His hands went to her ass, letting her control their kiss as he guided her against him. 

"Want you, Cal," she said against his lips. 

"But I'm going to need you to be quiet… like not even a peep." Calum warned her. “Don’t wanna get caught like last time.”

"Pinky." She held out her pinky to him. He lazily wrapped his with hers before lifting her up just enough for him to pull down his sweats. 

Claudia greedily got on her knees and got a quick taste. "You're coming in my mouth," she whispered to him as she slipped off their sweats. 

She climbed onto his lap. She bit into his shoulder as Calum coated himself with her arousal before lowering her down his length. He pulled her arms around his shoulders. Then  his hands controlled her hips at the pace he wanted her. 

After a few minutes, Calum's hands wandered away from her hips. He lazily made figure eights on her with his middle finger while his other hand was toying with her breasts. 

Claudia pushed herself against his chest and quickened the pace she rode him. She dug her nails into his biceps as her climax neared. 

Then the front door slammed shut. Calum pushed her off him and pulled him sweats on while Claudia scrambled to get dressed. They both sat on opposite ends of the couch when Danny came by.

"What movie are you two watching?" He asked them. He turned on the lights and watched them carefully. 

"Watching a movie." Claudia shrugged as she looked onto the movie. She had no idea what they were watching until she saw Harry Styles in the water.

"Guess I'll leave you to it." He said shutting off the light.  "Oh and Calum, pick up your shirt. Don't think I don't know what you were doing. Mom and dad don't need more grandkids, Claudia."

***

Claudia checked the oven after letting the pavlova cool. She snapped off a little piece from the middle and went to the living room where her dad was watching Charlie Brown with his grandkids.

"Can you try it?" Claudia asked him. 

"Claudia, ya te dije que esta bueno." He told her.

"Please." She said, extending the 'e' sound.

He took the piece and ate it. He nodded, instantly loving how it tasted. 

Claudia clapped her hands and went back to the kitchen. She quickly whipped up some pomegranate curd from the leftover yolks. 

Her family left her alone in the kitchen, so she could make all of the desserts ranging from sugar cookies to pavlova; she even made chocoflan for Calum. They knew she was nervous that Calum's sister was coming over. She knew how much Mali meant to Calum, so she needed to make a good impression. 

On top of that Danny was bringing his girlfriend, which gave her a weird tug in her stomach because he always gave her vague responses when she asked about her. He didn't even tell her what her name was, so she couldn’t make her a name card. 

"¿No te has cambiado?" Soni, Claudia's mom, asked her when she walked in. The older woman was dressed like she was going to mass with her sky high heels, soft cashmere sweater and silk pants. Claudia couldn't compare in her Long Beach State t-shirt and Calum's sweats.

"I'm almost done. I just need to make some more whipped cream. Hay nomás para los pies y ocupo para esto." Claudia said, shrugging her off. 

"Vete a cambiar. I'll make it." Her mom shooed her out of the kitchen

Claudi rushed upstairs and struggled to choose what to wear. She sighed and went with a grey plaid overall dress and a long sleeve turtleneck under it. She undid her bun, letting loose her curls and clipped it with a ribbon hair tie. Lastly she did a simple makeup look. She slipped her phone in her pocket and made her way back downstairs. 

"Tía, is the poopyhead coming?" Damian asked her when she came down. 

"Yes, but can you not call him that? Just for today?" 

"Cookie and we'll see," he said in a negotiation tone.

"I'm gonna tell your mom," she said, crossing her arms. 

"Fine, but I want a cookie."

"Nomás una." 

Claudia made sure no one saw her snatch a cookie from the dessert cart. She handed it to him and waited for him to eat it, so Paloma and Guito didn't see her and asked for one too. They went back to the living room and watched the Cantinflas marathon Telemundo did every Thanksgiving. She took a seat by the window, checking every so often for Calum. A few minutes passed and Claudia watched Calum's Range Rover pull up. 

Claudia squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the doorbell. She felt like she was back at school on AP test day. The hollow ache in her stomach as it churned. She wasn't sure if she was going to throw up or pass out. 

Junior gave her knee a gentle squeeze and went to open the door. She heard Calum's laugh followed by hushed voices. 

Then she saw him. Dressed in all black as usual. He guided Mali to the living room and everyone greeted her. Damian immediately glued himself to her side and started making conversation with her. Lastly it was Claudia's turn to be introduced. 

"And this is Claudia." Calum told Mali, gesturing to her. 

"Hi." They both said at the same time. 

Mali gave her the warmest smile and reached over to hug her. The ice had melted with that gesture, and they clicked. They dove right into conversation while Calum was talking to Diego and Junior. They were waiting for Danny and his girlfriend to show up. 

Fifteen minutes passed, and the front door opened. There were hushed voices. Danny popped his head through the doorway and waved. "Hey, sorry we're late, traffic," he said. He pulled his girlfriend forward by the hand, revealing her to his family. "This is Medelyn."

Calum's eyes were on Claudia as hers were on Medelyn's belly. He couldn't read her face at all. He watched her hands ball up into fists before she stood up and left the room.

"I'm going to talk to Claudia," Danny announced after everyone greeted him and Medelyn. 

"It was nice knowing you, carnal," Junior called to him as he left for the kitchen.

***

Claudia was on the floor eating carne asada fries and sipping on sparkling cider when Danny came in. He grabbed a fork and sat next to her. They ate for a bit, passing the bottle until Claudia worked up the courage. "I guess you finally made a move on your high school crush."

"You knew about that?" Danny asked. 

"Everyone and their grandma knew, dude." Claudia snorted. She remembered how Paco would tease him about it. "And I saw y'all being all couply and shit at Eileen's 21st. Just didn't think much of it."

"Really? I thought you were too busy throwing drinks at Paulina to notice." He joked. 

"It was one drink!" she said defensively. "Do you remember that one Halloween when she forced you to be Danny Phantom so she could be Paulina?"

"I try not to. Mede was there, and I had asked her out before hand only for Paulina to fuck it up." 

They both laughed and continued eating. They caught up. Claudia learned that him and Medelyn have been dating for almost a year. They started talking when he ran into her the tattoo shop he worked at when she was with her sorority sisters. Things got serious between then as the months progressed. A few months ago they found out Medelyn was pregnant. 

Part of Claudia felt bad. Her and Danny used to talk about everything, but ever since her and Paco broke up, they just stopped. They’d only occasionally check in on each other. It  was around May when she worked up the courage to tell him about Calum. They spent hours talking about him. He even joked that it wouldn't have happened if he didn't hack her Facebook. The two of them looked up when they heard someone approaching the kitchen. 

"He's not dead," Junior yelled into the hallway. He sat next to them and grabbed Claudia's fork. "Why do I always find you both eating carne asada fries and sharing sparkling cider?"

"Tradition." Claudia shrugged. She took a sip and passed it to him. 

"Are you guys done with your heart to heart? Because Damian can only be cute-hungry for so long before he starts fighting." 

"Yeah, we're good," Danny said. He got up and pulled Claudia up. He picked up the locket around her neck. "I thought you lost it."

"Cal gave it to me for my birthday," Claudia said. She tucked it in her dress. 

"He's so whipped," Junior joked.

"Says the one that bends over backwards at whatever Marlene wants," Danny responded. 

Claudia left them and went to the dining room. She grabbed the empty place card next to Danny and wrote Medelyn's name. She wandered back into the living room and called everyone to eat. Calum gave her hand a squeeze and went to his seat next to Mali only to get pushed by Damian because he wanted to sit next to her. 

"Oi mate, that says Calum," Calum said, pointing to his place card.

Damian grabbed it and went to where his place card was and swapped them. "No it doesn't."

***

“Are they always like that?” Mali asked Claudia’s family, gesturing to the couple. 

Calum and Claudia were against the kitchen island in their own little world. Calum was toying with the hem of her dress, smiling at Claudia while she deseeded some pomegranates. She made him open his mouth so she could explode some seeds in his mouth, giggling as he playfully tried to bite her.

“Yeah and they’re so predictable,” Danny said. He pointed at them. “Watch him whisper something into her ear, followed by Claudia getting all shy and tucking her hair behind her ears.”

“I doubt that’s—”

As Danny predicted, Calum got up and towered over Claudia. His hand was on her shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Claudia stepped back, clearly smitten at what he said and tucked her hair back, giving him a sheepish smile. She turned away and poured the pomegranate seeds in a large plate with mixed berries.

“I think that’s enough of that.” Diego grumbled, getting up to break up the lovers' gaze between Claudia and Calum.

“Déjalos, they haven’t seen each other in a month.” Soni said, placing her hand on his chest. She turned to everyone else. “Let’s go to the living room.” 

“I’m just going to get a quick picture to show my mum how whipped her son is” Mali pulled out her phone. She snapped the picture and sent it to her mom. She laughed at her mom’s response and made her way back to the rest of the family.

***

Calum grabbed a bunch of pomegranate seeds and popped them in his mouth. He reached for some more only to get his hand smacked away.

"Stop, I need them." Claudia said sternly. She went over to the fridge, looking for the whipped cream her mom made. "Did I take out the whipped cream? I can't find it."

"Maybe lower?" Calum suggested to her. He dipped a finger in the whipped cream as he watched Claudia. He had a great view of her ass. Her dress bunched up enough that he got a peek of her black lace panties. 

"I swear she made it. I heard the mixer when I was chang— I fucking swear if you're making me bend down to see my ass, I'm gonna eat your chocoflan."

"Oh, look I found it."

Claudia pulled her head out from the fridge and grabbed the bowl from him. Calum rested his elbows on the counter, placing his chin on his hands as he watched her decorate the pavlova. Her hands delicately sprinkled pomegranate seeds. Then she grabbed the pomegranate coulis and drizzled it over the pavlova in circular motion. 

Calum pulled out and discreetly took a picture of her and made it his new lockscreen. He loved watching Claudia in her element. Her personality always showed in her baking. Fearless and precise. 

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Claudia asked, breaking him from the trance he was in. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. His arm instinctively went around her waist. 

"I love watching bake and decorate." He shrugged. "Gives me a glimpse of how your mind works."

"Really?" She sounded surprised. She wasn't expecting to hear that from him.

"Yeah, you're very calculating and aren't afraid of trying new things. It's one of the things I love about you."

Claudia was taken back at his confession. Comments like those always seem to find a way to surprise her. Mostly because no one's ever told her things of that sort. People usually just give her surface level comments. Calum always found a way to be sincere and deep.

"You're sweet, Cal," Claudia said. 

She leaned over and kissed him. Calum's hand held the back of her head and kissed her back. Her hand was on his cheek letting him deepen the kiss. There were no intentions to go any further. They just wanted to kiss each other. 

Soft piano filled the house, making them pull away.

"Oh god, they made Mali play." Claudia sighed. She pulled away and placed the pavlova on the cart with the pies and cookies. 

"You have a piano?" He asked. He got up and followed her out to the living room.

By the time they got there, Mali was finishing up her song. Damian was the first to clap. He leaned over and hugged her, sticking his tongue out to Felix. 

Claudia furrowed her eyebrows at Felix. She could've sworn he said wasn't coming down for Thanksgiving. He greeted Calum with a hug, joking about Mali being the talented sibling before he reached her. 

"I thought you weren't coming." Claudia exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.

"I wasn't, but since I'm moving to London over Christmas, I decided to come visit. Then my mom sent me over to bring your parents tamales," Felix said. He leaned and whispered. "Ya vi que llegaron todas las cuñadas."

"I know, there's so much to unpack with that," She whispered back. "Also London?"

***

The night wore on. Junior and his family left. Damian gave Mali extra hugs and made her promise to visit soon. Claudia's parents retired to their room while everyone stayed downstairs to watch Pan's Labyrinth. Mali and Felix were off to the side discussing London and all the good things there.

“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it. So I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?” Calum blurted out to Claudia as he hid his face into her chest. 

“There’s more to it than some monster with eyes on his hands," Danny piped up. "Memo explores good versus evil versus innocence. We have a kid being forced to do 'courageous' grown up shit, but it's even scary for most adults, stripping her from her innocence. Ofelia only wants to be the princess of the underworld, but she can't because of the shit she has to do. Saving her brother from Pan and the general, then impedes her from going back to the underworld and then she dies. Don't get me started on Aragorn because that's a whole different conversation. Basically Memo is saying that in a world torn by war, there is no room for innocence." 

"My baby is gonna be so smart what the fuck," Medelyn cooed. She shifted and kissed him.

"Since when are you smart?" Claudia asked.

"Mensa, we were in the same Spanish class when we saw it." Danny scoffed at her.

"Yeah and?" 

"What does that say about you, mensa?" 

Claudia stayed quiet, unsure how to respond. 

Danny smirked and rubbed Medelyn's belly. "Your tía  is being stupid as always. Sorry you had to hear that, baby."

"Well, I'm gonna get going before the twins fight, and Danny makes Claudia cry." Felix announced. He went around hugging everyone. Calum eyed him as he and Mali talked in hushed voices. He gently squeezed her arm and left. 

"What do you think they talked about?" Calum whispered to Claudia. She shrugged and sniffled. She turned away and Calum caught a glimpse of tears streaming down her cheeks. "You okay?"

She shrugged once more, and got up, wiping her tears. 

"Ah, fuck." Danny mumbled. Whispering to Medelyn, he got up and went after Clauida. Seconds later Claudia's blubbering cries were heard followed by steps retreating up the stairs. Danny came back and sat with Medelyn. Calum was quick to get up, but Danny grabbed his arm, stopping him. 

"She's gonna be okay." He told Calum, "Let her process. Today was a lot for her." 

The movie finished and everyone settled into bed. It took a lot of convincing from Claudia for her parents to allow Calum to sleep with her, so that Mali could have the guest room to herself. 

Calum emerged from her bathroom and climbed into bed. Claudia rolled over and hugged him. He rubbed her arm. 

"You okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." She sighed. 

"I would be if I baked as much as you did." He said. He felt her smile against him. 

"Did you like the pavlova?" 

"Yeah, it was fucking good. It was nice to see something from my culture and stuff. To be honest, I was surprised to see American food."

"Thanksgiving is the only time we eat like white people. My mom goes all out with the turkey and green bean casserole."

The loud knock on her door followed by a struggle with the door knob startled them.

"You locked the door?" Claudia whisper-yelled to him, climbing off the bed to open it.

"¿Qué dije? Que la puerta sin seguro y a dormir. No que le pusieras seguro a la puerta y que estén platicando," Diego scolded her.

"I know, I'm sorry. We're going to sleep right now," Claudia mumbled. 

Diego peeked into her room and held up two fingers at Calum. "Strike two."

"What was the first one?" Calum asked, confused. 

"That little bathroom break you both had when we were in the living room. I already have one grandkid on the way. I don't need more."

"And you won't; we use many forms of protection." Calum smiled innocently. 

"That's three."

#calum hood #el novio series #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood one shot #calum hood smut #cscslum hood series

[catalinaroleplay]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEW YEAR’S EVE...?

It’s a Thursday night. Maybe you’re in bed, curled up with a good book, or maybe you’re having drinks out with your friends. Maybe you’re even one of those folks that like to go out partying on weeknights, dancing the night away to music that’ll definitely give you static in your ears the next morning. Regardless, this Thursday night is different, because it’s New Year’s Eve. 

You’re in LA, honestly. Catalina Island, as idyllic as it is, has never held a candle to LA in terms of New Year’s festivities — or maybe you’ve just got friends throwing all the parties, with endless bottles of Veuve Clicquot to boot. Everything is absolutely perfect: you’re closing out the year with your friends, your family, or a bunch of strangers that are just as excited to ring in 2021 as you are. The clock strikes midnight and you’re cheering; everybody’s cheering. You stick around for another drink, but everything dies down pretty quickly after that. 

By the time you’re ready to go, you hop on the ferry; lucky, aren’t you, that they posted a special schedule for New Year’s Eve? You’re already a bit hungover and regretting that last glass of champagne, and you yawn, crossing your fingers that you won’t get sick. There’s two people swaying by the side, retching — and oh, look, there’s another to your right. 

1:06AM — You’re tired, you want to get your phone charged before it dies completely. You’re probably a little under a quarter of the way back, though after that, you’ll have to Uber home too. From behind you, you can hear somebody laugh loudly, and you sigh, closing your eyes. 

1:10AM — You jolt awake. Someone has screamed OH FUCK! from the bridge, and you look around. Everybody around you seems alarmed, but hey, it’s New Year’s. Everybody’s drunk, and you can’t be 100% sure it came from the driver. Surely it was some drunk kid who tripped on their way over to the bathroom, right? 

You stay awake this time, though. Ten minutes away, and all around you is the ocean, but it’s calming, in a way. Everybody has returned to their quiet chatter, and you check your phone — 1:15AM. 

And that’s when the ferry sputters to a stop. 

Not a moment is lost; the door to the bridge flies open, and the driver (you recognize him, it’s the Mayor’s no-good son) stumbles out, howling, crying, the front of his shirt covered in hot sauce. In his one hand is a burrito, in the other are remnants of pieces of something in his hand. His eyes are bloodshot, and all he says is I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY as he falls to the ground, crying in his little pool of sauce by his feet. 

You bolt up. You and few others take initiative and pop into the control room. You’re shocked at what you find, unsure of whether to cry or laugh. Everything is covered in hot sauce, and in the corner is a family-sized bottle, all empty. The label says THE DEVIL’S GHOST PEPPER, and when you pick it up to smell it, your nose stings with something wicked. 

Immediately, you crouch down next to him, trying to get the story out. It comes in pieces, but he explains: he’d been eating a burrito, he’d wanted some hot sauce. As he opened the new bottle up, some got in his eye, and he screamed. (So that was what the cursing was about!) In pain, he’d shaken the bottle out and covered the entire bridge in hot sauce, and that’d been when the ferry stopped. The cherry right on top of his bad day, he’d forgotten to check the tank on the ferry. They were out of diesel.

Sighing, you check your phone. NO SIGNAL, it rings out. Turns out the black pieces in his hand were remnants of the radio he’d broken apart while trying to fix it, and you feel defeated. What could you do? You ask the driver whether anybody would notice, if anybody would come their way, and he shakes his head, morose. I offered to close up. I - I wanted to prove to my dad that I could do something —

You ignore him. You have no patience for the apologies of a man covered in sweat, rice, and hot sauce, when you spot a red box in the corner. The flare! Of course! Somebody was bound to see the light and you rush over, opening up the box. From behind you, you hear the sobbing stop. Is that the flare? 

You nod, walking back out to shoot it into the air when somebody grabs you arm. I can do it! Let me do it! I need to — it’s the goddamn ferry driver, and he’s wrestling you for the flare, and you’d rather be thrown off the boat than let this idiot do anything else — and in the scuffle, the flare flies out of both of your hands, straight into the water. 

And that is the moment you know that you are all trapped. 

IN-CHARACTER INFORMATION.

SURPRISE — it’s plot drop time! IC information is as follows: 

Your muses are trapped on the ferry on January 1st, 2021, from 1AM – 3:30AM. 

Cell service is spotty. Every so often, you may get a call or a text, but it is difficult to hold a conversation. 

At 3AM, somebody finally gets ahold of the Mayor, who sends out another ferry to rescue everybody, shuttling everyone back to the island by 4AM. 

Please let us know by TUESDAY, JANUARY 5TH @ 5PM PST / 8PM EST / 12AM UTC if your muse(s) were on the ferry at this time.

If your muse(s) were not on the ferry, you are still allowed to interact with muses that are on the ferry through choppy texts or phone conversations. It is unclear what happened, as there is no communication going from the ferry back to the island. Your muses on the island are free to speculate what is happening and gather around the Catalina Marina for news. However, nobody is at the Marina, as the driver offered to close up. 

Feel free to go as lighthearted or as dark as you wish with the drop! 

OUT-OF-CHARACTER INFORMATION. 

Beginning Date: Wednesday, January 6th ─ 8AM PST / 11AM EST / 3PM UTC.

Ending Date: Wednesday, January 13th ─ 5PM PST / 8PM EST / 12AM UTC. No new threads related to the event can be created after this date.

Event Threads: Friday, January 15th ─ 5PM PST / 8PM EST / 12AM UTC. Have all event threads, whether you finish a thread, headcanon its ending, or shift it into a non-event related thread, completed by this date and time.

Previous Threads: We kindly ask all non-event related threads to be wrapped up or put on hold for the event, just so everyone can focus on their event interactions. If you have previous threads that you’d like to continue after the event, please draft them before the start of the event so you don’t lose them!

Acceptances: No acceptances will be held during this event. We’ll be bypassing January 8th (Friday) and January 11th (Monday).

Starters: All starters must be tagged #catalina: starter and #catalina: lost at sea and make sure to tag the starter blog ( @catalinastarter ). As always, group rules still apply during the event. Once there are four starters in the tag, you must respond to THREE STARTERS before posting your own. 

Tags: Any edit, such as your character’s outfit for New Year’s can be tagged #catalina: lost at sea and #catalina: media! All edits will be reblogged on @catalinamedia.

Self-paras: Feel free to write self-paras pertaining to the event! 

Lastly but most importantly: HAVE FUN! This is a chance to interact with characters and players you haven’t yet, so please use this opportunity to be inclusive. If you’ve read all of this, please REPLY with your favorite emoji so I know you’ve seen it! 

#catalina: event #catalina: lost at sea

[colbybrocksmolder]

Nightmares - Colby Brock x Reader

Sometimes being an adult was the shit. You grabbed your phone and opened twitter, starting a new tweet. “It’s 2am, I’m sitting on my beanbag chair, in my undies and a t-shirt, bunny slippers on my feet, a bowl of Doritos in hand, watching Harry Potter. AND I finished editing my video. It’s been a good day.” You re-read it for spelling errors and hit send.

You had abandoned your boring life back in Kansas and followed in the footsteps of some of your best friends. Making tutorial videos and vlogs had finally afforded you the ability to have your own apartment and you were enjoying it to its fullest extent.

Incoming call - *Colby Jack*

Y/n – “Hey baby Brock.”

Colby – “I can’t believe you still call me that”, he said, laughing.

Y/n – “I was your brother’s friend before I was your friend”, you chuckled. “He’s Brock and you’re baby Brock.”

Colby – “Y/n, you’re barely 2 years older than me!” he argued.

Y/n – “I mean, for someone that doesn’t want to be called baby, you’re kind of acting like one.”

Colby – “You can call me baby all you want, just don’t call me A baby.”

Y/n – “Oh Jesus, Colby”, you laughed.

Colby – “That was smooth, you have to admit.”

Y/n – “I’m going to assume you didn’t call me to discuss lifelong nicknames?”

Colby – He laughed before sighing into the phone. “Dude, the AC in my apartment is broken and I’m fucking miserable. Mind if I come crash at your place?”

Y/n – “You’re always welcome over here, dude. You have a key for a reason.”

Colby – “Thaaaaaaank youuuuu”, he dramatically called out. He hopped out of bed, looking for his shoes.

Y/n – “Why did you wait until 2am to call?”

Colby – “I didn’t want to bother you. I just saw your tweet and knew you were up and awake”, he explained. You could hear his keys and the creak of his front door.

Y/n – “Just let yourself in when you get here” You said, hand on the remote ready to start the next Harry Potter movie. “Oh, and Colby?”

Colby – “Yeah?”

Y/n – “Bother me next time. Anytime.”

Colby – “I’ll see you soon” he said after a pause, hanging up.

Walking into your apartment, Colby laughed seeing that you had accurately described your night in your tweet. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of you. Messy bun, Nirvana t-shirt, bunny slippers…You were leaning forward, completely focused on the tv. He posted the picture to twitter with the caption “So @y/n wasn’t lying. She’s really out here watching Harry Potter with no pants on. Also, how mean of her not to leave some Doritos for me!”

“Have you gotten your Hogwarts letter yet?” Colby laughed, joining you in your living room.

“I have faith it’ll show up soon”, you replied. Pausing the movie, you looked over at Colby and noticed he had bags under his eyes. His hair was messy, and he looked exhausted. “You okay?”

“Better now” he replied, diving to lay on one of your couches.

“Don’t wait so long next time, dork. Just come over” you said, turning back to the tv and resuming your movie. It wasn’t 15 minutes before you started to hear quiet snores behind you. It was almost 3am so you decided to just go to bed. You slipped his shoes off for him, covered him in a blanket, and lifted his head to slide a pillow underneath it. “Sleep tight, baby Brock” you whispered, leaning down to kiss his temple.

When you woke up the next morning, Colby had already left. Granted, it was almost noon. You didn’t hear from him until 2 days later when you replied to one of his tweets.

Colby had tweeted, “Trying to fill my mind with good things, but the bad things won’t let me sleep.” It was again, like 2 in the morning. You replied, “With poetry like that we could start an emo band. I play a mean tambourine.”

Incoming call - *Colby Jack*

Y/n – You had started to say, “What’s up baby Brock?” but you barely made it to “What’s up bab…” when he interrupted you.

Colby – “Nope. Don’t say it.” You could hear him laughing.

Y/n – “I’m sure I could come up with more annoying nicknames if you reeeeeeeally wanted me to”, you teased.

Colby – “I have no doubt that that’s a fact, y/n.”

Y/n – “Well what’s up?” you asked.

Colby – “Is that invitation to crash at your place still on the table?” Colby asked. He sounded a little hesitant.

Y/n – “I told you, you don’t need to ask.”

Colby – “I don’t want to be that annoying friend you don’t want around” he replied, slipping his shoes on and heading to your place. “I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

Y/n – “You could come over every night, dude” you reassured him. “You may want to send a courtesy text to let me know you’re coming. You know, so you aren’t scarred for life seeing me wander around my apartment naked or something” you laughed.

Colby – “Oh, what a scary thought.”

Y/n – “Hey!”

Colby – “Whatever would I do seeing a beautiful naked woman with my own eyes. My innocence!” He said in a dramatic voice.

Y/n – “Innocence my ass.” You snorted. “Just let yourself in when you get here.”

You were actually enjoying Colby coming around more often. You got along really well. You two had always flirted, but nothing ever went anywhere. That didn’t mean your little crush went away. You never really pursued it thinking that he just saw you as like an older sister. I mean, if he had ever actually thought about you as more than that he would have said so, right?

Colby walked into your apartment and called out for you when he didn’t immediately see you. “Y/n!”

“In the kitchen” you replied, searching your pantry for a bag of popcorn.

Colby found you and pulled you into a hug. “What’s got you up so late?” he asked.

“Working on another video.” You sleepily answered, leaning on Colby. “I’ve had to refilm this part of the tutorial 4 fucking times. I can’t seem to demonstrate WHAT I’m actually doing to get my results. The whole point of a tutorial is so someone can follow along.”

“Hey” Colby said, backing you out of the pantry, not letting go of you. “It’s too late and you’re too tired for that to go anywhere you’re going to be happy with. Just start over tomorrow.”

“Fuuuuuuuck. You’re probably right.” You said, pulling out of the hug and throwing the unpopped bag of popcorn on the counter. “Why are YOU up, oh mysterious late-night tweeter?” you asked him.

Colby shrugged, leaving the kitchen and going to the living room. “Was just up.”

“Oh, that’s believable” you sarcastically replied. “You sure you’re okay, kid?” you plopped down on the couch next to him.

“I’ll be fine when you stop treating me like I’m 5” Colby replied a little harshly. He looked over at you and saw the concern on your face. “I’m sorry” he said, pulling you into a hug.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” you said, starting to worry a little bit.

“I really am fine, y/n. I promise.” He tried reassuring you. “Watch a movie with me?”

“Scott Pilgrim?” you asked, reaching for the remote.

“Is that even a question?” Colby smiled over at you, pulling you back to snuggle into his side after you grabbed the remote.

When you woke up, it was to Colby laying on top of you. His arms were wrapped around you and his face was snuggled into your chest. You laid there, letting him sleep. Your fingers gently brushing his hair out of his face. It felt like ages since you had seen him look so stress free.

After a bit you heard him start to mumble in his sleep. His eyes were squeezed shut and his eyebrows were tensed together. You could hear his breathing pick up a little bit. “Oh shit” you whispered, realizing he was having a bad dream. You rubbed one of your hands up and down his back while the other gently worked your fingers through his hair. “Ssshhhhh” you tried to calm him down. “Colby, you’re okay.” Slowly he quieted. His face relaxed and his breathing slowed back down. Eventually you fell back asleep. When you woke up, Colby had already left your apartment.

Over the next week, Colby had found excuses to crash at your place 3 more times. He looked just as exhausted every time he showed up at your door. You never asked him about the bad dream he had. You’d stopped asking him if he was okay, too. Every time you’d try to bring it up, he’d find a way to shut it down.

“I’m starting to think you hate your apartment” you teased, grabbing a bag of chips and joining Colby on your couch. This was yet another failed attempt at finding out why Colby had started to come around so often.

“I told you. They’re doing construction at 6 am tomorrow morning. There’s no way I’d be able to sleep through that.” Colby replied, sounding completely full of shit and looking utterly exhausted. He grabbed the remote and scrolled through your Amazon library.

“If you say so” you teased. “I’m just surprised a 22 year old kid would rather hang out here every other night than go party and…”

“I really am always just going to be a kid to you, huh?” Colby interrupted you, a sad but frustrated look on his face.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Nothing. You know what, there WAS a party tonight. I bet all the boys are still over at Brennen’s. I’ll see you later.” Colby stood up, slamming your door before you could even think of something to say.

You sat silently in your living room for the next hour trying to figure out what to do. Grabbing your phone, you text Brennen.

Y/n – “Hey, Bren. Did Colby make it to your place safe?”

Brennen – “I’m not even in the country, sister. Why is Colby going to my place? Everything okay?”

You thought about it for a second. “I bet he just went home” you said to yourself.

Y/n – You know what, I think I misheard him. I’ll just call him. Enjoy the rest of your trip!

Brennen – Thx, girl.

Sliding on your bunny slippers, you grabbed your bag and keys and headed down to your car. Using the key he gave you months ago, you opened Colby’s door as quietly as you could. You dropped your stuff on his couch and looked for him. You knew he was home because his keys were on his counter and his shoes were by the door. He wasn’t in his room, up in his loft, or in his bathroom. “What the fuck?” you said, leaning on his counter. That’s when you remembered he had a balcony. You walked to the sliding glass door and peeked outside.

“Some party you’ve got going on out here.” You snarked, scaring the shit out of Colby.

“Jesus fuck, Y/n” Colby jumped almost tumbling out of his basket chair.

“You ready to tell me what the hell is going on?” you asked, closing the door and pulling your long sleeves down over your hands. It was breezy being up so high on the balcony. Especially in the middle of the night.

“Not really” Colby said, seeing you shiver. “Come here.” Colby opened his arms, pulling his blanket back and making grabby hands towards you.

You crawled in his lap, sitting sideways, and he covered you both with the blanket. You laid your head against his chest, feeling his arms surround you. “What’s going on, Cole?”

“What, no kid? No baby Brock?” Colby said sarcastically.

“If it bothered you that much why have you never said anything about it?” you asked, sad that you had unknowingly been hurting someone you loved.  

“It never really got to me until recently.” He answered.

“Why? What changed?” you asked.

“Y/n, I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m a grown ass man. I should be able to handle it on my own.” Colby said, laying his head against the top of yours.

“You know, being a ‘grown ass man’ doesn’t mean you have to fight all your own battles. Just let me help you.” You said, searching for one of his hands to hold.

“And now I feel like a child again, needing someone to hold his hand.” Colby said, but didn’t pull his hand away.

“Who told you you needed to grow up so fucking fast?” You asked.

“It’s not that.” Colby sighed, laying his head back against the back of the chair. “I just…I really fucking hate this.”

You sat in his lap quietly, playing with the rings that never left his fingers. “What was your nightmare about?” you asked, just needing him to keep talking.

You could feel Colby’s body tense. “What?” he quietly asked.

“The other day” you explained. “I woke up and we were cuddling on the couch. I promise I wasn’t being creepy, but I was just laying there watching you sleep. You finally looked like you weren’t stressed out, but then you started having a nightmare.”

“I didn’t know I had one at your place. It never woke me up.” Colby answered.

“I tried to make it stop” you said. “Wait, you said you didn’t know you had one at my place? Is that why you’ve been coming over? You’ve been having nightmares?”

“Kind of” Colby said.

“Colby.” You lifted your head to look at him.

“I have always slept better when I’m around you.” He continued, refusing to look at you. “Ever since I was a kid, actually. Remember when everyone would fall asleep in my parent’s living room after being out all night doing dumb shit?” Colby smiled, “That’s when I figured it out. Gage used to tease me about it, but anytime I’m anxious or stressed out or can’t sleep…I just feel better when you’re there.”

“I didn’t know that.” You said, letting go of his hand to reach up and force him to look at you. “Why didn’t you just say something? You could have stayed over every night. You didn’t need to sit here alone.”

“I should be able to sleep by myself, y/n” He answered, sighing. “It’s not exactly a confidence booster for a dude to tell a beautiful girl he’s afraid to go to sleep alone.”

“I’m not A girl, though. I’m me.” You said, your hand still laying against the side of Colby’s face.

“Exactly.” He stared down at you with an unreadable expression.

“Wait.” You said, processing what he just said.

He continued talking before you could really respond. “I keep having this dream. It’s so fucking stupid, but it gets under my skin so bad. In my dream everywhere I go, everyone just laughs at me. Mocks me. It doesn’t matter if I’m paying for a meal or holding the door for someone. And it’s people I know. My family, my friends, other youtubers…And if I wake up and go back to sleep, I fall right back into the fucking dream.”

“Am I in them?” you ask, your other hand sliding up to rest on the other side of Colby’s face.

“Never.” Colby answered, staring back at you.

You adjusted your legs to straddle Colby’s lap. “What did you mean earlier? When you said ‘exactly’?”

“Don’t make me say it, y/n.” Colby said, leaning his forehead against yours and closing his eyes.

“Please?” you asked before feeling Colby shake his head no. “Is it why you hate when I call you kid? Or call you baby Brock?”

You heard Colby sigh before answering “yes.”

“Sometimes boys can be so stupid.” You said, pulling back to look at him.

“What?” Colby asked, opening his eyes.

You interrupted him, leaning in to capture his lips in a kiss. You felt his hands find their way to your waist and his tongue slide along your bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. After a minute, you broke apart and pulled away, breathless.

“Why didn’t you ever say something?” you asked, leaning in to tease the sensitive skin of his neck with your lips.

“Honestly?” Colby asked, tilting his head to give your better access.

“Of course.” You answered.

“When you rejected Gage, I thought there was no way I had a chance.” He answered, gasping when you found a particularly sensitive spot. “It didn’t help that I assumed you always thought of me as his annoying younger brother.”

You sucked a blossoming mark into Colby’s skin, his hands gripping your waist firmly. You heard him quietly moan your name. “Colby, I said no to Gage because I liked you.”

“Well now you tell me.” He laughed, pulling you into another kiss.

“As much as I’d love to live out this romantic moment where we make love on your balcony as the sun comes up…can we please just go to bed?” You asked, laughing and laying against Colby’s chest.

“Oh, my God. Sweeter words have never been spoken to me in my entire life.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “Let’s go to bed. I haven’t slept since I crashed at your place 2 nights ago.”

Crawling off of his lap, you pulled him out of the basket chair and into the apartment. “Yeah, I’m still a little mad you didn’t tell me you couldn’t sleep.”

“Don’t worry about it. You aren’t going to be able to get rid of me now.” Colby followed you into his bedroom. Stripping down to his boxers, he crawled into bed first. “Come here, baby girl.”

“Oh, now I’m the baby?” you sleepily laughed, ditching your slippers and your bra. You crawled under the covers, sliding your body against Colby’s.

“Hey, don’t take this from me. I’ve been waiting a long time to call you baby.” He wrapped his arms around you, the two of you falling asleep a few minutes later.  

#colby brock #colby brock x reader #colby brock imagine #colby brock oneshot #colby brock fluff

[koenigsideblog]

[30/03/2020] 

Okay so I keep seeing what's basically all the same suggestions for how to cope while the world is shut down going around in twenty million different posts, and most of it is all “maintain your routine” and “self improvement!” and it’s all a thinly disguised briefing in "how to make sure you are in optimal shape to resume service to your corporate masters as soon as they emerge from their bunkers". Fuck that. Fuck getting up at your usual time and wearing your usual clothes. This may be the greatest chance you ever get to be a human being as opposed to a human doing, not to mention to catch up on years of sleep debt and missed opportunities. Do you instead of doing what you’d usually do.

So given this, here are a few things I will be doing and would recommend to others, if you’re stuck at home without duties for the next few weeks and have the freedom to do them:

- When bedtime arrives, stick your alarm clock in a drawer on the other side of the house and just go to bed. Wait as long as you have to before sleep comes to you, then sleep until you wake up. Let your body have full authority over its own natural processes for once. Remember that a fully rested human being is one who feels like they want to get out of bed when they wake up.

- Experiment with your circadian rhythm. Try going to bed at sunset and see what it's like to wake up naturally at sunrise. Try staying up till 3am and then going out for your permitted exercise (if that’s a thing and there isn't a night-time curfew in your region, of course) to see a side of your home area that you've probably never seen before. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, explore the clock thoroughly. Find out which hours in the twentyfour are your favourites. Consider applying this information when figuring out what to do with your life once the world starts up again.

- Do not use this period as an opportunity to binge watch/read/listen to everything that people have been telling you you need to catch up on. Any new media that you consume in quantity now is media you will be unable to return to for the rest of your life without having flashbacks to the Plague Year and that will suck. Instead, I recommend going back to old media that already has strong positive associations and will take you back to somewhere good. Binge on movies from your childhood, albums from your teens, the books you loved back when you still had time to read a whole one in a day. Check in with your past self and remember who you are.

- Now is your chance to have a ball with your appearance and not wear the same clothes you do on a regular day. Give yourself a ridiculous haircut. Grow your beard or shave it off. Grow a handlebar moustache. Shave your legs, or alternatively decide that you're damned if you're shaving your legs for the next three months. Get a set of (NON-TOXIC) felt tip pens and give yourself the temporary tattoo of your dreams. Wear your wedding dress, wear your tuxedo, wear your cosplay gear around the house for the heck of it. Fall back in love with all the clothes you own but never get round to wearing.

- Similarly, open and start using up every single damn bar of gift soap and box of fancy candy and special scented candle that you've been "saving". Eat your stockpiled ramen off your best Christmas-and-birthdays crockery. Enjoy everything you own as much as you can. This is not the time to be saving things for later that you've already saved for years. "Later" just arrived. Play with all the things now.

- If you feel alone and wish you were somewhere loud and bright and full of happiness, going and watching live footage of your favourite bands or musical shows on Youtube is good for the soul. This is also a great time to buy official live show recordings if bands or productions you like have released them. They will be very grateful for the income and you will feel better for watching.

- At least once during your lockdown period, turn your internet access off for at least a full twentyfour hours. Live as your ancestors lived. Experience the sensation of unalloyed cognitive privacy, free from interruptions, derails, manipulation and notifications. Find out how you feel about yourself and the world when you aren't constantly getting everyone else's running commentary on everything and aren't editing yourself for public consumption.

- Lots of people are taking this opportunity to get back in touch with long-lost friends and family, or make new contacts. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. If you want to do it then I encourage you. However, when people reach out to you, remember that someone who was a 24-carat jackass to you years ago is owed nothing now. If you get a message from someone who swears they're sorry for how they treated you and "this is bigger than that, can we let bygones be bygones," etc, feel a hundred percent free to block them without a reply if you want to. They could've apologised to you any time in the last three or ten or twenty years. If they're only doing it now, then they're doing it out of a sense of their own mortality and an itchy conscience, and they don't truly have anything good to offer you.

- Relatedly, this is a very good time to work out who you don’t want in your life, as well as who you do. If there's anyone who you're breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of not having to see until lockdown is over? Give some thought to reorganising your affairs such that you won't have to see them then either.

Good luck everyone. Hang in there and see you on the other side.

#covid-19 #things to do under lockdown #popcorn at the apocalypse

[shadowdianne]

Ok people. Time has come. Let’s be ominous and extra on main

So the order for me posting all my WIPS at once will probably be.... the order in where I finish doing all the editing. I’m currently in my last prompts. I’ll still answer the ones I recieve by the end of the week if there is anyone feeling like sending me some.

Aside from that ...

A few months ago I posted a really rambling text about me leaving the SQ fandom writer wise after the SuperNova was over. In the way it’s over once we all put the fics where they will, later on, be revealed. The full explanation of why I’m doing this is even more rambly than the one I gave and is full of nuances that I’ve talked about a little bit with a few of you.

However, I want to say something about it either way. Because words are the way I communicate the most with. And that’s something that I guess is obvious about myself in a myriad of different ways; not only with my fics.

As I’ve said a few times before, SwanQueen was not my first fandom. If I need to pin it to the moment when I actively began to search for fandom-related things, of how I first stumbled into fics and what that entailed…

Going really back in time my first fandom experience was with Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura. Yup, that. I was really into anime back in the day and, don’t ask me how, I stumbled into a website that no longer exists that had these pages upon pages on something people called “fics”.

It was around the same time I was building my own sexual identity so you can imagine the mess; I devoured those fics. Most of them were not even good. Most of them had some questionable themes thrown around. Most of them had language on them that I needed a few years until I realized that was hurtful. But some others taught me what “angst” meant, what “hurt/comfort” was, why “fluff” was about or why “smut” at my tender age of 12/13 was something I wasn’t entirely grasping.

Again, I devoured those fics, I searched for more, I found livejournal and ffnet. By the time I started fully diving into fanfiction livejournal was slightly abandoned so at the end I focused entirely on ffnet and from there… Pretty Cure (another anime) Strawberry Panic and the even more dubious Kannazuki no Miko followed. I found some amazing writers I still follow today and whose stuff I will forever adore on MaiHime/MaiOtome and, eventually, Kim Possible. I still didn’t write though. Probably because my English at the time wasn’t the best, my writing voice in Spanish was barely a murmur and while I had always been the “weird kid who likes to write poetry and if you ask her nicely she will write you a story on the spot” I had never truly considered… writing and posting on the internet.

Funny thing is that this kind of things are like that and those who are content creators will probably understand that: You NEED to create. So, eventually, slightly older, and full on the whole Twilight era, I wrote a very… cringey fic. And then another. And another. And another.

At first I didn’t know shit about editing. My actual first review told me I was horrible at writing, that I was a mess, that I should stop. But my second review told me: “Hey, if you do this and that on the editing process it will help you and this will be more readable.” And I followed that comment. I eventually became friends with that second reviewer but, as life tends to be, I lost contact with her years ago. I still hope she is doing ok though.

Eventually, I started working, if working is something that one can say about writing a chapter in 20 minutes and throw it every Wednesday while your mother is at work, not monitoring what you are doing and you have the internet for yourself back when the internet went through the phone, in a multichaptered story. It is in Spanish, it is awful, characterization is horrible… but it also made me meet the person that became a very important person. And still will be for that younger version of me. 

From twilight and the occasional writing on the HP fandom with the Hermione/Ginny pairing [Yeah, I wonder what younger me would think of my current main pairing on that fandom] I “graduated” to Glee. Lots and lots of Glee.

And then I stopped. Completely. Not a peep from me. Not a word, not a line. For over a year.

I was a fan and a shipper, however, of this little show called Once Upon a Time. I started watching in the pilot, in a very shoddy link a friend sent me over gmail. I fell in love with the characters but while I loved them I couldn’t… or wouldn’t really, put myself into writing. At the time my English was slightly better but my confidence levels were even lower than currently are. And the ones who have talked to me can safely say how horrible I am at taking compliments.

Yet, I had a very meaningful conversation, one I don’t know if she remembers still, in where I was told: Writing is you. If you want to write… like you did when we first met, why don’t you do it? I tried with a wip that is still there, buried beneath other stories now, that I never fully took off. And then I said fuck it and wrote several others, badly written, even worse characterized, but ones that helped me say… why not.

Disney World Family Business (in case there’s even someone here who read that mess) comes from there. Interview with the (Evil) Queen does too. Dancing Ring (who I’ve seen people roasting me over it and it’s fine because it was awful) was too. Texts on the cloud was there too, Coffee Black News… Eventually, I wrote a fic I’ve erased since then called The Holiday. Over 2k per chapter every day. I did it under a month.

It was… interesting. It was exhilarating. It was magical in many ways. And I had my favorite writers of course. Those who I followed religiously. Who I absolutely admired. And who I, to this day, still admire. And I even get to call them friends now which my younger self would probably be having a meltdown about now xD

I had opened my tumblr account way before that but I had never truly used it. I didn’t know how. Eventually, though, I dusted it off. I put some cringey theme there and I posted, after being sent a couple of random prompts here and there over ffnet pm’s the first “prompts anyone?” post I ever did.

It’s funny because now I’m a tease but the first time I asked for prompts I did it asking for words that I promised I’d make a smut ficlet out of them.

Words of Desire was born. Is, to this day, the one I feel cheekier about. Even if the writing is awful xd I even got my ffnet account in the line of “am I going to get deleted?” after I posted a story called “Lips”

Why I’m writing all of this you guys probably don’t care about? Because that post led to another. And another. And another.

Point is. I felt drunk on the sudden realization I could still tell stories. And so I kept doing it. At some point I opened my a03 account. Don’t remember exactly when in this story but I was crossposting some of my stuff at some point bother in ffnet and a03 so… who knows really. And then I kept asking for prompts. Or I got them asked. And so I did.

And I met other writers, and other content creators. And I loved it. I absolutely loved watching OUAT and then shit on the show and then create fix it fics at 3am on a Sunday. And I learnt about the narrative process outside class. How fanfiction truly is its own genre. I started developing my own ideas. I started looking at books, at people, at places around me with a critical eye I later on developed further to be able to specialize myself in literature. Because, at the end, that’s what I minored in.

I had roleplayed, I had written conjoined narratives. But fic writing at the scale SwanQueen was during the OUAT was still airing was something else. It still is in a way, but different now. And I think those who were around during the fucking show that basically did us a lot of bad in many ways was a different approach that currently is.

During those years not everything was good of course. I hit several walls, I didn’t have the ability to create the stories I wanted. It is not the reason why I’m leaving, I’ve spoken about the reasons -plural- with some of you. So I won’t bother you all more than I’m already doing.

 I still love these ladies. I still don’t know how I will open a doc and not write their names. Maybe I relapse from time to time, who knows. Yet, the constant feeling of not being enough, of not being good enough, has devoured pretty much all my creative juices.

I was talking a few months ago with a writer I absolutely adore and I can’t tell her this enough and we were talking about writer’s block. And she said something that is devastatingly true. “You don’t have a creative block now. You’ve had it for a long time now.”

And I didn’t even hesitate when I answered “Yes. I know.”

How do you have a block when you keep posting? Well. By choosing safer options, options you know you will do on autopilot, without emotion even if you know you should be feeling it. And while writing is part of who I am and a huge part of my own emotional stability the fact that I simply cried when I saw the numbers and the stats while being bombarded with anons that I deleted most of them the second I got them… well. It’s far too much I guess.

I love SwanQueen. And to those of you who I’ve created a friendship over the years with I’m not leaving tumblr and I’m not walking out on you. I’m remaining here. You guys are going to need to do more than this to get rid of me Xd

But I do need that. Otherwise I will keep picking safer options, options that I know will take me shorter and shorter time for me to write. And that’s not quality. And not what I want to write. Because while I love writing about them the pressure and the fear and the rejection and the many other little details have outweighed the good. 

Regina is a stubborn woman. No matter what fic you guys are reading or writing. I’m a little bit like her in that department Xd

I’ve finished my wips and I gave myself a few months after that first post so I could create closure and, you know, give you all the best I could do. I felt more relaxed at having a date set. I still feel dread at losing my ability to write now that, probably, the number of prompts will be smaller. But I hope I will still get news from you all. And don’t be mistaken. Me not writing doesn’t mean me not reading. I’ll be actually able to read more so expect lots and lots of fic recs on my side and comments on those fics. So hey, everyone wins.

To those anons, those gatekeepers.

I hope you all wake up one day and realize you are alone in the pit you’ve created for yourselves.

To fellow content creators: There’s always this game I play, on trying to find those headcanons that are truly yours, the ones that repeat themselves on every fic. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a headcanon per se. It can be a word, a special mannerism. I treasure those. I often link you to those in my mind when I’m thinking about you all. Thanks for creating. And thanks for being you.

To everyone really: It has been a few amazing years. Thank you all.

VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN

-Dianne out.

#swan queen #SwanQueen #swen

[goffilolo]

Demise!Izuku as a Youtuber?

Yep! You heard me right. Demise server is a strange little land, full of strange little ideas, unfortunitely this one idea in particular wasn’t so little. So without further ado here’s all the shit we came up with in the server in regards to izuku as a youtuber within demise!au:

If Izuku was a YouTuber can you imagine the fucking chaos dumpster fire his channel would be

He's be like an edgy twink Jenna marbles(edited)

Doing Me time every damn day

bandit is jennas dogs

tenya is julien

He'd have weird ass videos like dipping bandits feet in red pet dye then putting a sign on him that says "you pet and you'll meet the last person who dared to"(edited)

And he's also make videos about him breaking into UA and interrupting classes and stuff

"hey gamers, today we're breaking into UA to see my boyfriend and read all of my friend's secret files"

And a video just of him filing Aizawa in weird places and at the end putting him on an inflatable mattress and watching him float away 

He wakes up in Canada

They don't know how or why

He just attaches a go-pro to trash bandit and let's him run wild. He probably has a seriesJust letting him loose in weird places

DONT LET TRASH BANDIT EAT AIZAWA'S SLEEPING BAG AT 3AM | VERY SCARY"hey guys so today ill be doing the 'How many bottles of quil can i steal before i get caught by Tsukabitch' challange. feel free to make a video of your own!" 

He probably dyes Bandit according to holidays and puts him as the profile picture. The kicker is, he only does it for holidays that his country doesn't celebrate

Like 4th of july

And Canada day

"Hewo soulless fuckers it is me your overlord, King of the soulless fuckers. Today I'll be going up to people in the streets and telling them that I killed God and Satan. But y'all know me, that's not enough. So I'll be asking them which one I killed first and if they get it wrong I take a shot of quil. The quil I'll be taking is the plain ol kind so don't worry your little marshmallow heads about it." 

He only makes text posts in OwO speak this just makes me realise demise!izuku would make a great youtuber

He would twitch stream all the time doing the weirdest shit for hours on end

"what is up gamews! today i wiww be weviewing the new game cawwed life! i have been pwaying it fow about 16 yeaws now and i have to say it's pwetty bad my guys!"

I feel like he'd be absurdly popular and whenever someone mentions him and they look up the channel they are like "wth have I stumbled upon?!"

I'm just imagining what his front page would look like

The seasonal trash bandit profile picture, the banner would be a flaming hellscape with people he dislikes burning and trash bandit looming on low opacity in the background 

(He made it so that only people who view it on TV get the full experience.)

He probably has his own segment on buzzfeed unsolved

Not talking

Its about him

The intro video would just be him staring into the camera while mixing together a horrible concoction of quil then downing it without breaking eye contact(edited)

His about section is written in 3 different types of code and it's all in owo if you manage to crack it

i love demise|!izuku as a youtube cryptid

Clown Speak and OwO speak mixed together

I feel like in the beginning Izuku was this obscure YouTuber that you only find out about if someone in the know tells you about it until a bigger YouTuber found him out on a deep dive video and just couldn't stop watching yes

i imagine once he gets big people from react channel would invite him to react to videos of people reacting to his videos 

What if in one of his videos he started acting like his old self just to freak everyone out. He didn't say anything about it instead he talked about hero analysis with a bright smile and trail off into muttering a few times only to blush when he realized it. He have his hair in a ponytail with only bangs framing his face and some messy pieces falling out. Also her be wearing something plain but like old Izuku, maybe hero merch or something. The comment section was just people flipping out and shit

He never acknowledges the video after he made it

No matter how many comments he gets he acts like it doesn't exist

omg you know wha tthat would actually allign with the demise and canon swap places for a da

yand you know what that gives me a lot of feels

the millions of subscribers get to see the old izuku

Maybe after a milestone he would post a video he made in middle school of him analyzing a quirk in video format to make sure it wouldn't get destroyed

And he put a couple videos of younger him after it

But it starts being supporting Izuku

And his present and past self and stuff

PEOPLE MAKE FAN ART first Its all full of trash and memes

What if that picture of canon Izuku meeting demise Izuku was a fan art someone made of his old self meeting the new him 

Kids from his class kinda Piecing together they really screwed up?Some even sending in apologies, perhaps

For mental health day I could see him posting a serious video about what he went through and his time in the mental hospital 

And on national stop bullying day he would talk about his decade of abuse including the details of how the school and teachers fucked up and everything aboutbakugou

izuku using youtrube for shitposting and advocating

And for mothers day he features both Rei and Inko?

Endeavor exposure video

What if Rei helped edit or something?To help pass the time for her

Give her something to do

People love the mysterious editor

I feel like villains watch his content like maybe Dabi

rei and fuyumi sometimes make appearances

Dabi just shows up in the videos

Quickly become faves

I feel like Dabi would become a fan and start crying after seeing his mom happy in one of Izuku's videos

"...and this is rei, my hospital mom and this if fuyumi, her daughter so like my sister she helps me keep my shit together and sometimes gives me quil.." 

dabi crying from seeing his mom happy in some lunatic's youtube videos

“...and this is shin, dont let the looks deceive you this man went to jail"

Shin comes in and covers the cameras a lot

FATHERS DAY IS A PICTURE OF TRASH BANDIT WITH HIS DADS VOICE SCRAMBLED OVER IT

“and this is the local florida woman and her alligator

WHAT IF BNHA VERSE HAD QUIRKLESS AWARENESS WEEKizuku would go ape shit during that week

"who needs a quirk when my dad gave me a gun!"

He would give axe sharpening tips

"Remember kids! Society won't help you, so you gotta help yourself!"

he would make 'how to cook videos' except it would only be quil combos

What if one day he just put quil in the ovenand pulled out a muffin

Remeber, don't try this at home kids." makes A horrifying quil combo "rememer never ever do this even if you have a quirk that allows it." downs the horror concoction

"so today were gonna do my boyriend does my makeup challange and since both me and tenya are dumb and know nothing i borrowed my mums makeup..." 

It’s a given he’s gonna do makeup tutorials. The real question is would they be good or absolutely horrendous?

good or horrendous? Both

Amazing makeup at horrendous things? Hmmm interesting

“Hey guys today I’m turning myself into a real like eldrich abomination with the help of eyeliner and glitter!”

izuku has a whole playlist of videos dedicated to tenya and UA

theyre all jsut shitposty compilations of some footage when tenya isnt looking

Even tho it looks like he couldn't give a fuck he is very selective with which footage makes it online. He's very careful at how much is revealed and makes sure no students or secret identities would be in danger with his content

izuku isnt stupid...hes jsut having a good time

Sneaking into UA highschool by hiding in pro hero eraserhead's sleeping bag | NOT CLICKBAIT

Izuku would totally play carefree and childish games while just being Izuku

Like his animal crossing series

Fucking legendary on his channel in terms of gaming

izuku's sims lets play

it's like a 10 generation long telenovela lowkey based off the todoroki family

He has no straight sims, he recreated UA and class 1a in sims

the wedding of sim izuku and sim tenya is like the biggest party in the sim neighbourhood

He creates endeavor just to lock him in a room with 50 ovens

Omg his draw my life has got to be super depressing

He'd be super blunt and monotone during his whole draw my life going through all of the abuse and bullying that he went through because of his quirklessness and also his suicide attempt and all that jazz(edited) 

izuku would paint on a potato

Izuku would make a get ready with me where he does something totally batshit crazy then ends it with "Ah. Yet another day in my life."

Izuku meets Marie Kondo

“Only keep what brings you joy”

“Well this gun from my father sure brings me joy”

Knifemaking videos but with axes

Izuku decided to do a wardrobe tour and like 4 things were bloodstained which he never addressed. The most popular comment was what happened, which of course he never answered.

Izuku does these new year (like all of the questions from last year) or milestone Q+A’s/AMA's which are basically people just asking a bunch of the things he wouldn't answer or address before. A lot of his viewers write down and timestamp when he does something and doesn't address it. If you don't you'll never hear an answer.

He has his boonk gang phrase which is probably like Bandit gang or some shit like that, which he shouts while breaking into places. UA dorm rooms, UA facility office, UA, Hero Agency’s, Endeavour's bedroom (Don't ask), etc. 

He has a variety of videos where he does things from different communities. For example he has a few hair tutorial and following hair tutorial videos. Same for makeup.I feel like Izuku would also have some dresses and slutty Halloween costumes that be put on in a video all while looking like someone who just had finals and was studying for 4 days straight beforehand.

At like 4AM a thought hit Izuku to have Trash Bandit meet Kouta for the first time and learn what his sheep talks about and what he has to say. Needless to say he took his camera, went to UA, stormed the dorms, went up to the shy kid sheep in hand, looked him dead in the eye, and asked “What is my sheep saying.” bandit speaks and Kouta goes from confused and slightly scared to disgusted and horrified. What did Bandit say? Who the fuck knows…

Izuku loves analysis and while he doesn't do it for heroes anymore when he misses it too much sometimes he does it with tv shows or other things.

Idk what yet but Izuku is weirdly good at something and only showed it on camera once. (He's casually known to be a good artist) Whatever he's good at he did it once for a video and it's in one of the most popular compilation videos of him. 15 minutes of Izuku being a cinnamon roll.

Izuku has a shit ton of videos featuring the UA kids. He has some playlists dedicated to certain ones even if all you see is the back of their head.

Any proceeds Izuku manages to get (he is popular but he gets demonetized a lot) goes to different charities for the quirkless.

He made only 1 serious cooking video on his birthday, but instead of using a knife he used an axe.

He has a video called “My sharp things (tour)” where he just shows off all of his knives and axes and shit along with a massive pair of scissors he got Momo to make.

Izuku makes videos of himself destroying endeavor merch while staring at the camera.

#demise!au #bnha #youtuber!au #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #word vomit

[phytolacca-a]

Writeup: First Non-PGM Spell Performed- Third or Fourth Spell Ever. 11/27/19

At the time of writing this I’ve just done a nine-knot spell written in the latter half of the Call of the Horned Piper. It seemed like one I could try out. This will be a long post. This is written directly after working- this post will be edited and added onto once I feel that either it had effects, flopped, or somewhere in between. This will be marked with “EDIT:”

EDIT: didn’t work (which is fine.) I’ve tried to divine on why and what to do better, although I don’t fully understand the “why” I got. If anyone would like to give their input on the “why” or try help me out in understanding it, it’s welcomed. Readings will be at the end.

Nine-Knot Spell, Intended for Good Business and Finance Influx

I saw mentions of business for what to utilize under Mercury and figured, since it’s a Wednesday when I want to try this out (and was told via divination to go ahead and try “tonight”- I did this at like 3am and ended maybe just before 4am so it’s Wednesday.)

Prep: I showered beforehand (although it took me a little while after to begin this spell. The book said to use a deep blue thread on Wednesday, and when looking up colors corresponding to Mercury I saw white. Since the only thread I have is much too thin for my preference of this I combined 2 white threads and 2 blue threads to both thicken what I was working with and utilize a number I saw associated with Mercury (4.) I asked one of my object-spirits to help me with this and strengthen the spell. I lit a candle and tried to get in the “working headspace” to do the spell so I stared into the candle for a while (trying to kinda meditate, but as I’ve said before I’m horrible at it.) Maybe 10 minutes? I can’t tell. 

Procedure: I then began to knot the threads. The book tells you to try to focus intently on what you want out of the spell while making it so as I formed the knots slowly I tried to run through and focus on what I wanted (again, business related, and also to land a job) and I allotted time with mixes of “immediately, immediately, (immediately), as soon as possible, as soon as possible, (as soon as possible.)

Each knot was pulled/made as I said the corresponding phrases given in the book:

“One to start the spell upon, Two to pull the magic through, Three to rouse it mightily, Four for power strong and sure, Five to bring the spell alive, Six the magic might to fix, Seven for the secret leaven, Eight to turn the web of fate, Nine the hidden spell I bind!”

At the end of the tying I felt compelled to clap 9 times (in intervals of 3.) Don’t know if it did anything other than make me feel as if it concluded properly.

I wrapped the thread around my wrist (as it says to wear on person if the spell was intended for you.)

---------------------------------------

Immediate thoughts on what I could’ve done better: 

Although I tried to start out in a better headspace to do this, I was still very anxious and that nervousness and anxiety did persist through the working.

I’m not sure how much the object spirit I chose out of the two that felt like they wanted to help could actually help, since I have no idea what abilities they actually have and if they can directly help me. I did say that if he helped me I would refill my givings to them tomorrow so I will. 

Right when I began to pick up the thread and tie it the object (with the spirit)’s head fell from being propped up against the wall and startled me pretty hard. I think it might’ve grounded whatever I had done with the candle (not sure if good or bad?) Will divine on later.

The book calls for the knots to be... regularly spaced. I, unfortunately, didn’t realize how bad I am at tying knots with the same spacing until I did this. The thinness of the thread(s) did Not do me any favors... and neither did my super long nails. 4 knots ended up directly back to back (2 each) and the rest were unevenly spaced (albeit better than the first 4.) We’ll see how much affect this has.

I feel I could’ve done more... Coming to mind is to directly call on the planet Mercury (something Maybe like “Mercury, I call to you on your day to assist me in my endeavors under you.”) and maybe done something with the planet sign? I cannot burn incense in my current situation so unfortunately that isn’t an option right now.

Speaking of my room, I think I REALLY need to cleanse it properly. The last time I did so was 2 years ago almost exactly. I need to cleanse it and try to ward it from things I don’t want in here.

---------------------------------------

EDIT: Here I will attempt to write out my readings I got via cards. This deck is supposed to be mainly used via intuition & visual clues, though there is a list of interpreted meanings added on later. I try to mainly interpret Without the list, but when I’m really stumped I cave in and see if they make sense contextually. I think now that this is how I read, the cards seem to do a mixed bag of intuitive & listed.

“Tell me exactly why my nine-knot spell didn’t work”

Well, I’m having a really hard time trying to figure out what this means. An interesting thing I notice after writing down what I can interpret is that this is much more of a chaptered reading than I initially thought. The Omen through Divining seem to = Prepwork. Consciousness through Earth = Right as I started and throughout it. The Dragonfly = The tying of the knots. At least The Soul = the ending & after, and I think Visitation might have been a misdraw.

I asked if I am supposed to take the moon phases literally or not (i.e. when I should’ve done the spell vs. their spiritual meanings) and got Not.

Here is the closest I can get to interpreting this:

The Omen & The Spider- I had too little assistance didn’t have a clear plan on what all I should do. (Based on guide)

Duality- Well, if his was more based in the guide, maybe something about..... black and white thinking? If this was based upon the feeling of the imagery in context, this could be that I was too unfocused; too scattered.

Death- In the next reading, the Death card felt like a higher spirit. Not sure if its meaning is the same in this context, but if so, this could mean I had not called on a higher spirit.

The Heart, Waxing Gibbous, Magick, Waxing Crescent- I think this is about my anxiety and not feeling deeply enough or bringing up intense enough feelings about what I was saying and wanting it to do. I think the Magick card being encapsulated by both Waxing Gibbous and Waxing Crescent mean that^ and that there was not enough energy being raised and used while doing the spell.

The Crystal, Divining- The given suggested meanings correspond nicely together, though I’m not sure on the clear message it’s giving.. The Crystal says “hidden treasure, the core issue, synthesis.” Divining says “a search, finding a hidden source, latent information, need to dig beneath the surface.” These together might indicate I could’ve divined more either before or maybe during it but didn’t..? There might’ve been important information I wasn’t aware of.

Consciousness, The Obelisk, Earth- I think this might be talking about how I might’ve been too grounded during the whole thing. Again, pointing back to the lack of raised energy?

The Dragonfly- I think this is talking about me fucking up the spacing of the knots.

Visitation, The Soul- I... really don’t understand, at least not Visitation. The Soul might have to do with my immediate feeling afterwards that it wouldn’t work and my immediate theorizing on what I could’ve done better. (Something of note is that I think Visitation is the card I pulled and felt “maybe that shouldn’t have been added” but did anyway. It may be a misdraw.)

“How should I do better the next time I do a nine-knot spell?”

Honestly I think this one is much more understandable. This, I’m pretty sure says:

The Hive- Utilize and employ your spirits better. (The Hive seems to be signifier to the little uh... “community”? I have.) 

Death- Utilize/Ask/Call to a higher power/spirit. (Feelings based off of the imagery)

The Obelisk- Get some sort of (better) energy source. <- This one I used the “meanings” list and used the one that felt right.

Waxing Gibbous- Cleanse! Do more cleansing of your space/things/yourself.

Telepathy- I think this means to work on my psychic skills, focus, mindwork, etc.

Conclusion: It didn’t work, but it seemed to be a very good learning experience. I’ll have to read back on this the next time I try this. -I’m assuming I might’ve been right that I could’ve called on Mercury to assist me, or maybe a mercury-corresponded deity to assist me? This would then be coupled with some sort of offering that isn’t incense which I’ll have to think on. -I was right I need to cleanse my room. -I also am thinking that maybe I should somehow do this magic (and probably other spells) in front of where my spirits are (which is sort of problematic but I’m sure doable.)

#personal text #witchcraft #knot magic #knot witchcraft #nine knot spell #spell #magic #magick #knot spell #witchblr #spell writeup #divination #card divination #cartomancy #failed spells

[organized-decay]

The Road Goat

Title: The Road Goat

Edited, originally posted as a twitter thread: link

Read on ao3

"I dunno," X mumbles, the uncertainty in her voice as obvious as a grasshopper you see on your brightly lit screen at 3am on a humid August night. "I'm always scared when in driver's seat. I mean, what if we get hit?"

We stand in front of my grandfather’s car, a vehicle that remembered the times of old Eastern Bloc and that seems to have been born already old without ever experiencing the joys of childhood, which is the very basis of the relationship between the two of us. It has a bumper sticker on the back window with a cartoon infant smiling at anyone who looked at it. In red letters a menacing print announces to the world that “there’s babies on the deck”.

I look at X in all of her 5 feet tall glory (nearly 3 inches of which were thanks to her wild curls, which I always decided safest not to point out), who looks like an exceptionally bored elementary-schooler. I think “babies indeed”.

I nod sagely, because my blown up Capricorn ego won't allow me for a regular nod. "It's ok, I can sit there instead," I say, with some level of condescending, though not enough to alarm the other speaker, something I’ve mastered through past 20 years of being a Capricorn.

X looks at me weird. "But you can't drive?"

"It's okay," I repeat. "We will be fine, I tried for a bike license once.”

I don’t mention that I didn’t pass but it’s a minor detail anyway.

We enter the car - an old, red fiat 180p, passed through two generations of Nowak’s between various uncles and cousins in what is probably the saddest game of inter-family hot potato known in so far recorded history.

I go to the driver's seat, X seats in the back. There's wires tied to the wheel which she holds in her hands clad in hot pink fingerless gloves. There's a third wire tied to the gear stick and connected with her leg. The pedals are my one and only domain and there's a letter written on the gum of my shoes with glittery blue and red gel pens so I know which one to press at any given moment. It took us all of ten minutes to construct this weird mechanical puppet and we test it for all of 30 seconds before we get bored, deem it good enough and decide to go.

I start the car. It takes me three tries but the rumble of the engine once I manage to turn it on is more gratifying than eating a whole sub sandwich without spilling the excess lettuce on the floor. Internally, I triumph. My hands rest lightly on the steering wheel to avoid suspicion, but it's X that leads us out of the driveway and onto the road.

The first half an hour goes without a hitch. I honk at a truck while waiting for the green light on the crossing to the beat of Everybody backstreet's back, but the light changes to green just as the driver leaves his vehicle with clear intentions to beat me up. Or congratulate me on my sense of rhythm. With his fists.

As we leave the crossing I cheer at my luck, though there is some disappointment mixed into it. The prospect of a fistfight on a busy street was something that appealed to me and filled me with childlike excitement ever since I watched that one Dexter episode with Action Hank where Dexter grew a beard. Alas, me and X continue our journey fistfight-less.

We leave the town with little issues, as per X’s request I don’t honk at truck drivers or any other drivers for that matter anymore. In addition, nobody so far seems to realize that my hands are merely a prop for our intricate man-steered wire system, that X is the true puppeteer of our little car-shaped circus du soleil, or that I don't even have a bicycle card. We look just like every other pair of young adults if one of them looked more like a preschooler than someone over 20 and if anyone in these parts owned a red fiat 180p. Nobody did.

Elated by the success of our little charade, I think, wow, we are incredibly lucky.

And this, well. This is the very moment our luck runs out.

As the saying goes, don't praise the day before the sunset.

There's a goat on the road. And as I always say, where's a goat on the road, there's trouble.

Now, one may ask: how do you know that?

Well, I’ve already mentioned before that I'm a Capricorn. While to the uneducated it probably means nothing, to the one well-versed in the ways of the stars will recognize that as a Capricorn, aside from being insufferably pretentious and emotionally unavailable, I know goats. And I know that goats bring trouble.

My hands twitch on the steering wheel and sweat starts dropping down my neck and forehead in thick beads. I look at the goat. The goat looks back, its intense, green eyes seemingly looking straight into my very soul.

It stands far ahead of us at where the road drops down and hides behind the horizon. It's backlit in golds and pinks from the late, afternoon sun, seemingly glowing and ethereal, like a four-hooved god of doom. Like Bacchus on wine withdrawal about to start a party except the main course wasn’t Dom Perignon year 1932 and a roast but you.

"Dodge," I say, a sort of primal fear making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"From what," asks X, who relaxed during our ride and now looks very much at home holding the wires in her hands, like an 18th century charioteer from London if they dressed in yellow t-shirts and pink corduroy overall dresses back in the day.

"There's a goat on the road," I say, hurriedly though to a regular listener not well-versed in the way of Capricorns it may sound bored and nasal. "We need to dodge."

X sways to the side to see the front window. I can see her brows furrow from the front mirror. "I don't see any goat," she says as we near said goat at the speed of 40 miles per hour.

"Please," I say, just about begging, "just swerve to the right. There's no one else on the road, indulge me.

She does, though not without throwing me a Look that highly suggests that I am at best an idiot and at worst an utter buffoon. She’s mastered the expression over the course of our nearly ten years long friendship nearly to perfection, though deep down I know this is nowhere near the limit of her abilities.

We swerve to the right, a surprisingly swift motion for a car that can be both destroyed and fixed with one kick, and I never stray my eyes from the goat, not even for a second. And yet.

And yet, I fight the urge to cry as I realize that somehow the goat transported to the other lane, seamlessly, as if it’s always been there.

I convince X to swerve once more, saying that I want to test her driving skills. She takes up the challenge with a smile and I welcome the shaking of our car with the closes thing to relief one can feel when trapped in a Fiat 180p with X as a driver.

We do it a couple of times until X gets fed up and tells me to put on some music if I'm so bored. Miraculously, our car stays intact and I send a small prayer to whoever is watching us over int he clouds before with trembling hand I turn on the radio.

"A rich man's war in poor man's blood, silent their cries..." plays Killing Joke, the harsh sound of electric guitars abusing my ears with the rage of thirty to fifty wild boars chasing children in someone’s backyard. "...follow behind the Judas goat."

I change the station.

The goat is still in front of us but the distance doesn't change. We pass through another town, listen through Goat by the Shudder To Think, to Goat 2.0 by Eric Bellinger, Goat Annie by Carole King and several others as I keep hopping through the stations in a wild fury worthy of a middle aged man sat in front of his TV trying to find something that isn’t Mango or morning weather forecast at five am on a Sunday. The goat remains ever present and I slowly assign what portion of my sanity be assignable.

"What are the five apex predators of the jungle," asks X out of nowhere as we listen to Evil Little Goat by Pearl Jam, about an hour after I spotted The Four Hooves of Doom.

"Goats," I say, because I'm at the point in my life where I acknowledge that goats run the world and I don't question it.

"No," X says, because she knows nothing. I indulge her anyway.

"What's the answer then," I ask.

"Three lions and two tigers," she says like it’s the most hilarious joke she’s ever heard. I stare at the goat at the end of the road and she looks back with eyes that know what hides at the bottom of the ocean.

"Okay," I agree with barely concealed pity, for X doesn't know yet.

My staring contest with the goat lasts through next string of goat related songs which keep pouring through the tinny radio speakers no matter how often I change the station. At some point I stop focusing on them and drift away, my eyes stuck in the horizontal irises of the god. Goat.

I fall into a kind of trans where I both seat and don’t seat in the car, my consciousness drifts far beyond the old, leather seat of the Fiat 180, beyond my body, beyond where human consciousness should drift, allowing me to see a trillion years into the past and into the future as I transform from a human into a bug into water into mist into a celestial body only for the black hole to swallow me like a child would corn candy on a Halloween night - with tearful, lip-trembling disappointment and an aching tooth.

When I wake up from the vision, I feel both like a newborn and a being too old to describe with words, my bones singing to the eons past and my blood reaching to the eons that are still yet to come.

I am bathed in the golden pink light of the late afternoon sun. There is a black, gravel road stretching behind me and before me, seemingly endless though I know it stops abruptly three meters into an overgrown cornfield at the end of the universe somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Minnesota. A small, red car is speeding straight at me but I am secure in the knowledge that it won't ever be able to hit me. I remain fixed in place, unbothered and inevitable

I stare into the car, past the plastic glass and dangling, yellow car freshener at myself, sitting in the front seat, pretending to drive with X sitting behind me and holding the wires. I am dressed in an old Batman t-shirt and torn jeans and look immensely bored though I’m paralyzed with fear.

My body stares back at me, eyes droopy and tired though irises thin with panic, and at that moment I finally understand.

I was the goat the entire time.

#writing #mine #short story #surrealism #goat

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro. 

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills. 

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks! 

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away. 

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go. 

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’. 

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently). 

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

#fl4k #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #fl4k is nonbinary #fl4k uses they/them/their pronouns

[muggle-writes]

Happy Storyteller Saturday! What are some ways you organize your notes/writing thoughts?

thanks for asking! Sorry I'm answering late, I had a rough headache and tried to sleep it off for most of Saturday so it's like 2am Sunday now (3am when I finished because I'm tired enough to have very little filter which means it's ramble time) but I'm awake so I'm answering.

to be honest, it depends on where I am and whether I have free time where there's nothing else I "should" be doing.

if I'm out and about, or if I "should" be doing something else I'll be writing on my phone. usually with a program called Quip, occasionally with a program called Bookstack. I'm out at my QP's right now, and she and my wife are talking video games, and I don't have my laptop handy so I'm writing in Quip. it's kind of a dropbox/google docs alternative, and it has a not-terrible app. I sort everything into a personal writing folder (i used to use quip for other things too, which I kept in other folders since it has a decent checklist ability) and if I expect something to be a long story I'll create a folder for it and put different scenes in different documents in that folder. if I expect it to be short, I'll just create a document straight in the writing folder and hopefully remember to give it a descriptive name. If I'm intending to write something especially short and post it immediately, like this, I won't usually give it a title. sometimes this bites me in the butt but mostly it's fine. I write things in quip rather than directly in the tumblr editor for two related reasons: tumblr mobile has a really annoying habit of eating my longer posts instead of posting them. i haven't figured out if this is more related to the length of the text added, or the length of time I have the draft open. on top of that, if I type it in tumblr mobile and try to make a backup copy, the largest unit I can copy at a time is a paragraph, not the whole document, so it would be a hassle to copy out. often, for posts this long, I wind up copying in three or four paragraphs at a time, saving the draft again, and waiting for tomorrow to display my changes before I click edit draft and add another few. it's easier to copy text into tumblr than out of it

if I'm on bookstack (a mediocre Google docs/scrivener alternative but it's open source and my wife runs an instance so I've tried it out. among other problems, it doesn't have an app so I have to write through my mobile browser and I have to have internet. quip stores locally regardless and syncs with the internet when possible so I tend to use quip instead) When I'm using bookstack, I'm forced to use its organization system. broadest to narrowest categories: shelves books, chapters, pages. you can put pages directly into books, or into chapters. I usually use pages as scenes, and keep them sorted into chapters. in theory I like bookstack but it needs some major improvements (options for variable theme, offline mode, general mobile UI, etc) before I would actually recommend it.

If I have my laptop I occasionally write in bookstack but more often Microsoft Word (I got a free student copy when I was in college and whenever my current laptop dies I'm going to get Open Office or Libre Office instead rather than pay for Microsoft.)

I sort my writing into fanfiction and original works. there's very little in the original works side, sadly. Within fanfiction, since I generally publish to ao3 as I go, I separate it into folders incomplete and completed. within each, I sort it into fandoms, within incomplete, I then have a folder for each fic, and then documents titled "published" and "unpublished" within each. within completed, there's individual documents for each fic (equivalent to "published" within incomplete) I cut and paste things between documents, or move documents around as necessary

for editing, it's a different story:

in Word, if I'm writing a variant of a scene I've already written, and I want to keep the old one and decide later which one I like better, I'll strikethrough the old paragraph and write another. If I get several of these I'll color code the old scenes so I can tell which one's which (sometimes I reuse parts of sentences in like. 3/5 variants so they're usually intertwined. my drafts get colorful) If I'm going in a really drastically different direction, sometimes I'll create a new document and in the title describe what the difference is.

In Quip (actually, in bookstack too, when I'm on mobile, so probably it's just my phone keyboard not playing nice with long documents. somehow I never have the same issue when I'm writing directly in the tumblr app) if I try to select large sections and replace or delete them, it deletes significantly more than I want it to, probably twice as many characters? twice as many minus one? idk. if I'm not happy with something in quip, it's a little glitchy about strikethrough so I'll just put a few blank lines, a line of squiggles (~) and/or an all caps "ALTERNATELY" and another line break and then the replacement.

anyway. that's all for when I'm composing prose (or publishable poetry)

when I'm scribbling down notes to keep them because I'm plotting a longer story or because I want to write but don't have time, I'll open up one of the above programs (usually quip or word) and create a bullet point list of sentence fragments and notes. I put major points at the top level of bullet points, indent for the next level of detail under each one. the top level bullets are usually vaguely in chronologial (or storytelling) order, but flashbacks/"this sets up for..." often show up in the nested bullets.

If I have a really thorough outline, with a full sentence for every scene, in word I'll make a copy of the outline with a page break between each outline point, and then I'll skip around between scenes based on my inspiration and write the scenes in their corresponding place in the draft so that the end result is pretty effortlessly in order. (in bookstack, I'll create "pages" for each scene. in quip I put three or four line breaks between the scene prompts or occasionally split them into separate documents.)

#storyteller saturday #asks and answers

[ventylatte]

15/06/19 - 3:08am

i wanna try replicate my mind yesterday when i was doing the dishes at 10pm because it was really racing lmao

as mentioned prior, dan’s video on his sexuality really made thoughts that already swarm my mind way louder than usual, paired with the empty shelf that’s been left empty in my mindscape that had once been FILLED with a-level knowledge and stress. it’s now home to a bunch of loud questions about my identity, ranging from my nationality, religion, where i belong (maybe i’ll rant about that some other day, but i’ve made it vocal to people before) to my sexuality. i’m not sure if this was a ‘realisation’ of sorts but a couple months ago on a walk home from school, i remember declaring ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’

and yeah i still believe that, 100%!

because despite my coconut-exterior that i seem to project (i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i feel devalued), i am brown: i do still have asian-indian parents that wouldn’t be thrilled about their son or daughter claiming they’re gay (i say ‘claiming’ because that’s what it would be to them. i know it. ‘such a typical claim in this weird society. bound to happen, it’s a trend these days’, etc.)

i remember asking my mum what she thought about the lgbt, and if i remember correctly, she didn’t mind it, but didn’t want it in her family or ‘circle’.

now i ain’t criticising my parents. many would, but i really can’t. because they were born in a different generation, in a different time where the lgbt community wasn’t exactly as prominent as it is today.

but good god. one day an advert for that reality tv show, ‘the bi life’ i think its called, popped onto the tv, and my dad was all ‘what the hell is this? … freakshow’ (he muttered)

AND I FELT? HURT? no, ‘hurt’ is a strong word. just a bit… prodded at?

and i still can’t decide the reason. was it because i was wondering where i should draw the line with my dad’s remarks towards the lgbt community? i’ve always had this internal debate with myself about whether i’m sort of ‘silencing’ my dad by taking a stand in issues he doesn’t really believe in (primarily the lgbt community, he’s cool with feminism… to an extent lol). he always has a shout about how people can only say what they’re really thinking behind closed doors. would i be taking this away from him? where can i really draw the line in this whole counter-argument of my parents simply being born in another generation? i mean, sure, they aren’t hurting anyone outside (i really hope), but his comments do affect me.

that’s reason 1 i felt a bit disorientated. society’s a bit mad with labels, and i couldn’t find it in me to label my parents a pair of homophobes. BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE ARE ADULTS THEIR AGE THAT ARE WAY MORE ACCEPTI- i need to stop before i get trapped in this circular argument that i’ve had 19218839 times with myself before - this is already so much longer than i thought it’d be lmfao.

reason 2? and here’s where i feel fake and dumb. something in me resonates with bisexuality.

JESUS, my hands TINGLED and my FACE tingled and it’s starting to heat up right now because i never, ever, ever got that in words, let alone WRITING. because that would make it a real, concrete argument. and maybe no i dont think so elina, stop right theeree duedddeee

i dont know.

i dont know.

sigh.

i dont.

know.

referring back to ‘if i was white, i would have probably come out as bisexual a long time ago’, i know that i would have come out as bisexual if i was white because i feel they have way less to consider when doing so. that’s not to assume that all white people have caring, understanding and liberal parents (but let’s face it dude, white parents are more likely to come around to the idea and other ideas in today’s society that rigid, asian parents would not. might just research into that, lol). a white girl can and will marry a girl if they feel like it, and that’s amazing, that’s so good, that’s so cool that they don’t have maybe other questions that halt this process like: - okay but HOW willing am i to marry a woman? - how plausible is a relationship with a girl? cause, ladies and gents and everything in between, these questions are always pinned under ‘what percentage of me would be with a man rather than a woman’ because fucking damn it, weddings are MAN an d WOMAN AND BITCH IF I AM WHAT IM SCARED TO BE WHAT IF MY HEART LEADS ME TO A WOMAN AND NOT A MAN. think of all the disappointment. white families aren’t as extended as asian families - the news would spread like a vicious wildfire. the prospect of bisexuality for an asian person or a person of colour generally is always pinned with this disgusting, self-denying statement that they really don’t want to think:

‘even if i am, there’s like a bigger chance i’ll marry a man so it doesn’t really matter, right?’

that bigger chance will forever stem from these expectations set by their families, i think.

and it’s always that question that makes them think ‘WELL shit i guess i aint then considering i practically negotiated my sexuality: u cant do that rookie, sexuality is SET IN STONE, so there’s no way you’re that sexuality. you’re only saying it because it’s a thing in society to be.’

it’s just why i dont believe in labels in general, and i love dan’s video so much for dedicated a section towards the matter. sexuality to me is fluid. the only thing that kind of makes it concrete are those labels. labels are great for some people: it gives them a name, a sense of normality in such a heteronormative society. but there’s a negative in that no one can simply just. be.

i wanna.

i dont wanna really.

sigh, am i just trying to align myself with society today? this label-filled society where your worth comes from how many labels you have slapped onto your blazer? it’s like those little patches those sporty, intelligent girls got in assemblies for being leader of the netball team or for excelling in ‘resilience’ or whatever that heck that means. those patches, except they have ones for ‘brown’ +1 point! ‘female’ +1 point! ‘sexually-confused’ +1 point! unless u think ur str***ht, in which case -2 points! where was i going with this AGH my brain isn’t being cohesive it’s just spitting shit everywhere.

another thing that makes me deny it all is my friend. let’s call her peach: she’s brown, muslim, pakistani, has very strict parents, but is still happy to identify as ‘gay’ to the world, and that’s amazing. but it sort of makes me wonder why i haven’t done that yet = thus suggesting ‘yeah im not REALLY, i would’ve felt it like she did in year 8, felt more passion for it - and i dont even have parents as strict as hers, so i can’t be!’ but her sexuality has also been generally fluid: she’s dating a guy at the moment, and has practically abandoned labels for the time being. goals lol.

what the fuk am i saying oh my goddddddd i can’t even make sense of it because i feel like im being super insensitive towards white people sigh forget it im going to bed, maybe i’ll string together something that makes bloody SENSE. its 3am egghj.

EDIT: I POSTED THIS ON RREI-CHAN AFHIAFAHIFA it wasn’t up for long, could’ve been so much worse, could’ve been on ryuga-zuki

#15/06/19

[yourknightingale]

Shower one shot

I was waiting for a much better writer than I am to actually make a fic based on this since I’m not good with these kinds of scenes. But I tried and it’s 3am so I should just post this. Uhm, enjoy?

She’s calling it now. This naked lady with her red hair loosely up on a bun is crazy. Weird. Creepy. Who on their normal state of mind would bust into some stranger’s shower?

And she’s saying she’s pretty confident with her banging body? Like, yeah, but.

“You should be,” Beca finds herself admitting, although true in her statement is also not remotely close to any sort of social convention. This is not how you meet people. This is not something you talk about in your first meeting. No weather talks or something along the lines? This can’t be legal.

The redhead turns and reaches out for the towel, then hands it to Beca with a playful smile.

“Still need to shower.” The brunette almost whispers to herself because really, this is the most awkward encounter she’s ever experienced to date.

“I see that.” Ginger speaks. She sees Beca’s toiletries, picks up the shower gel bottle (without asking or any warning), and reads the label. “Oh, how creative. Find someone you really like and invite them into the shower with you to demonstrate, it says.”

There’s that playful smile again. Wider. Not-so-subtle. A lot of innuendos.

If Beca’s not sure before, this is a confirmation. This woman is crazy, and knows no boundaries, and doesn’t respect people’s personal bubble, and what if Beca turns out to be a psycho? This could’ve been a gruesome scene. Beca is not a psycho, thank goodness. So is the redhead a freaking psycho? This is overbearing amiability. This is abuse of charisma. This is debauchery wrapped in boldness.

Weirdly enough, Beca likes it. Not that she would want this to be a recurring event. It’s just now, she can’t help but be so turned on. A beautiful girl is in front of her. A confident beautiful naked girl is standing literally just inches from her. How much control can one petite brunette have?

“If you need a demonstration partner,” the redhead moves closer, “I could,” extends her arm behind Beca, “show you how,” and taps the shower on. “Right now is perfect.”

The atmosphere steams quicker than usual and it’s definitely not just the water coming out of the shower head. There’s strong connection. There’s attraction. There’s lust.

Beca swallows hard. The first few sprinkles hit her back and catches her off guard. She flinches for a brief second, then she feels the pressure is on. It hits her on the back of her neck. Trickles down her shoulders. Drips fall along her collarbone, down to her bare chest.

Ginger pours some gel onto her palm and throws the bottle behind her like her disregarding it means she already has what she wants. She puts her hands together, slowly, just sufficient for a lather rub, and gently applies it to Beca’s shoulders first. There’s no hint of hesitation in the way her fingers trace Beca’s skin and the brunette closes her eyes in the sensation. She tilts her head slightly to allow the right hand to roam, to wander up, until said hand finds the curve of her neck. She senses some warmth closing in on that area and hears (feels) a long intake of breath.

“Smells so good.” The voice is lost, evident are the seductive undertones. Beca can only inhale in response.

The tip of her nose touches Beca’s left earlobe and the warmth again is closing in on that area. Beca’s mouth hangs open as if she’s gone with the moment, not stopping the girl from nibbling her ear. It’s sensual in its own way and she shivers even though the shower temperature can’t be any warmer than she prefers.

There’s some dampness too, although Beca isn’t certain if it’s H2O or if it’s from the tongue that slips and glides, but is now leaving her ear. She can still feel the tip of her nose travelling down her cheeks and nuzzling along her jawline.

“I’m Chloe.” The girl breathes out. “You are?”

She fights the urge to say “wet” so opts to say her name (that she momentarily forgets due to this steamy situation), “Beca.”

Chloe’s left hand is still cupping her neck but somehow, her right hand has journeyed south. First, it’s passing ever so slowly down the side of her front, a lather of soap trails behind. Then, it’s stopping on her waist all the while her business on Beca’s face continues.

They’re nose to nose, water dripping off the length so Beca can tell the other girl’s soaked, too. This is a true definition of conservation by sharing the shower together. How they can breathe properly, no one knows. Chloe isn’t stopping as she replaces her nose with her closed lips. But neither is Beca. Not now. This is too physical not to end up having a taste of what should really happen.

Beca ultimately goes for it, any trace of reasoning and rationality thrown out the window.

She leans up, switching her nose with her mouth, briefly brushing it against Chloe’s. The redhead immediately tilts her head to the right and presses harder. The hand on her waist doing the same, pressing harder on skin. Beca notes how perfectly accommodating Chloe’s lips are, like they’re puzzle pieces that fit together, and a soft sound of pleasure escape from the back of her throat.

Chloe pulls back a little and this could be the time when Beca’s senses come back to her and she should probably talk and get to know this girl better before they do something more than what strangers (they’re acquainted with names in that brief second earlier, so they’re acquaintances perhaps?) usually conventionally normally do. She doesn’t even get the chance to open her eyes before Chloe dives right back in. This time, more open. This time, it’s more passionate. This time, Beca initiates the tongue, finally putting it to good use since talking is out of the equation.

From singing a duet of Titanium to a make-out session, how? The brunette can’t believe this is happening. She has gained some courage to also explore Chloe’s body —her hands flying to Chloe’s hips, and cheeks, and back of her neck, to her shoulder— as their kisses become more heated and frenzied.

The noises they make is straight out not PG-13 any longer. Not when Chloe bites and sucks on Beca’s lower lip when the latter tries to pull back for a breather. Her lip lingers longer in between Chloe’s lips and that’s the hottest thing to ever happen to her in college. She’s only been here, what, two months? It’s just going to be downhill from there. Timing’s working out on their side, too, since nobody else is in there.

Wait, isn’t pizza guy supposed to be here? What’s his name? Tony. Tori. Tommy? Whatever, it’s irrelevant now.

Beca can taste a little blood and boy, Chloe’s amazing. That she can say is relevant information.

“Beca.”

“Hmm?”

She’s biting her own lip, a distinct flavour of iron is present.

“I said, it’s a shame these Lush products are limited edition. They only come around Christmas time. I should just buy like 5 sets, right? What do you think? Practical? I’ll share it with you and Amy if you want.” Chloe stands beside her, fully clothed, and unaware of what Beca just had in mind.

They’re in a store together. Shopping for some apartment essentials, in retrospect, but Chloe “needs” to stop for her bath items. Of course.

Beca mentally slaps herself, thinking she’s such an evil person, a monster, for perving on her best friend. Of all people! She looks down and remembers she’s holding that bottle with very specific instructions on how to use it.

“I know, right? It’s funny whoever thought of that. Very clever marketing.” Chloe laughs, after peaking over her shoulder to see Beca reading the label.

“They probably got a raise, at least.” She finally finds a comeback and herself, albeit still feeling guilty for zoning out like that.

Chloe smirks. “Yeah, you enjoyed reading that. You were out for like a minute. Are you considering buying that?”

She’s teasing. Beca knows. But after picturing a very visual reimagine of how they first met, it’s not innocent on Beca’s part anymore.

Chloe doesn’t catch on it though because her teasing continues, “ Bec, we already had a shower moment. Right now, we share a bed. What’s another shower sharing?”

The brunette manages to look at her in an expressionless and hard to read face but Chloe keeps winking at her. “Nope. Not happening.”

#bechloe #shower scene reimagine #i purposely did not italicize that daydream #beca mitchell #chloe beale #yo lush products arent kidding #pitch perfect #bechloe fanfiction #one shot

[neth-dugan]

Nine Worlds - Thursday

It’s been a week after it all ended I’m writing this up. I was pretty darn tired after the convention and work didn’t help much. There are also issues that arose within the convention that I wanted to think on some, wanted to read different voices. But we will get to that at the end. Each day is getting its own post so I may do that in a separate one.

At large, I had a fantastic time and loved it. In many respects it feels like going home, going to a place where I feel safe and accepted. I don’t feel uncomfortable for my size. I don’t feel weary about how men will treat me. I don’t feel scared to talk about my sexuality or the need to explain it every single bloody time. I know everyone is a giant nerd like me and so when I’m nervous and just babble about Star Trek too long or something, nobody will judge me for it. I understand not everyone has had the same experience as me there but for me this is it. This is why I will go back every year. This year I was roomies with both @knittedace and @laalratty which was pretty cool. 

PRIORITY ACCESS 

In the lead up to this year I’ve had some kind of viral thing. I had to take time off of work due to dizziness, had an inner ear viral thing that later turned into a more normal cold but was mostly gone by the con. But I did still get a few light headed moments and conventions are tiring which makes these things worse. On registration I tore off a priority access sticker in case I needed it. Still on its backing sheet I stuck it into my phone just in case. 

I ended up needing it. I used it pretty sparingly and even so felt bad, though the access people were all ‘yeah, we don’t want you falling over’. But it did make things a lot easier a few times when I was on my way to a panel but had to go slower or just stop for a while. And I was no doubt on the lower ends of folk with access needs. I was going to put a gif here but the ones that fit best would probably make others feel not great.

THURSDAY Though Nine Worlds officially starts on Friday, there are usually a couple of events on Thursday evening and lots of us turn up that day if we live far away and want to get to early morning events on the Friday. I left around noon on a train to London and wasn’t able to sit comfortably as a bloke was man spreading and I didn’t feel comfortable asking him to stop, and there was no other seat. Whilst I was on the train I found out via twitter that there was something going with the Intoxication panel. The moderator of that was on one of my panels last year and I have them on Facebook (who swallowed their post) and I was not pleased about what I was hearing.

I got a text from @knittedace saying that she and @laalratty were at the train station waiting for me, they got into London at a different station but the tube needed intersected with mine and there they were. Complete with a sign with my name on it.

.... I couldn’t find a gif with someone holding a sign at arrivals. 

We got to the hotel, and the staff there seem to actually like us and not look down on us which is great. I recently found out that one of the people involved since the beginning drew up some training for them when we first arrived around equalities and such which is pretty awesome. In any case, we go up to our room to find the pull out sofa bed already made up and this was to be my bed for the weekend. I’m not used to sleeping with others, and I was still a bit ill so it seemed for the best. Whilst my roomies went out to check something out locally and then get drenched in the rain I stayed behind, read, rested up. But, eventually, it was time for sign up to start. We went to the lobby, waited in line and before long had our goodies, overlays, pronouns and the like. All set up and ready to go in time for the opening events. 

Whilst @laalratty was off to the quiz, me and @knittedace decided to go to the Cheese and Cheese event. In which there is cheese to be eaten and cheese to to be read out. We also found @unwoundbobbin who I knew mostly from Twitter and had met at last year’s con. She was going to go to the quiz at first but we convinced her otherwise! And so off the three of us went to consume multiple kinds of cheese. Before the session proper started the three of us and others were playing Slash with my customised deck. Some hadn’t played it before, but it’s easy to pick up on. 

It was tons of fun. There were the traditional readings from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for opening lines. A hilarious story about Biden and Obama after they leave office and various other things. The rule is only published works, unless it’s something you yourself wrote. So people can’t pick on fanfic writers they don’t like. @knittedace read a fantastic Doctor Who crack fic, edited down for time but still glorious. Someone then went to read a story they’d written as a teenager which inspired me to go read the oldest published bit of fan fic I have on the internet. It is overly descriptive, you can’t tell which fandom it is let alone the characters, and definitely cheesy.  Seriously, I love that session. Thankfully I didn’t laugh-cough my lungs up like last year but I still laughed a LOT. There was also a medallion that each reader wore as they read their thing out. And as the session went on, we collectively and without discussion started going magical/mystical/heavenly choir heralding of the prestigious undertaking whenever someone put it on. 

After it ended we went to meet up with @laalratty whose team came third in the quiz. And for a while we played more Slash! I love this game and can only really play it at conventions so I treasure it. Also, the way that me, @knittedace and @laalratty play it there are basically no rules. Just fun and taking turns. I love it so much. Eventually people agreed it was time for bed though and so we went. Slight problem - I couldn’t get to sleep. I was tossing and turning for ages. I’d start to nod off but weak up scared I was making noises (hint: I apparently snore a bit) but also the mattress and pillows aren’t anything like mine. It got to 3am and I had enough.

I have distinct memories of being told that if you can’t sleep, don’t stay in bed because you then don’t link it to sleep. So I pulled on a skirt and shirt in near utter darkness, and got out of the room as silently as I could. It turns out that @knittedace was awake and so heard me leave but I wasn’t aware at the time. I went downstairs, haunted reception in my bare feet, slightly surprised a cleaning person in the loo and just hung around until I could barely keep my eyes open. Went back to bed and got a couple hours sleep after I eventually fell to sleep.

And that was Thursday! I’m probably not going to be as detailed in the next few days but who knows. But most of this day was meeting up and things starting.

[GO TO FRIDAY HERE]

#nine worlds #nineworlds #was watching west wing which made typing this all take way longer #sorry #will post another tomorrow #I need to sleep for work