#( in short........... its been a strange 2 hours and idk if I'm out of the woods yet with this strange sudden spike of lunacy ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

life--is-not-daijoubu · 19 days

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okay now i am VERY interested in whatever's going on with chess. /gen

if you want you can rant about it in my dms or here? whichever you prefer tbh

Here is fine and thanks for asking<333

Okay so I think I mentioned 3 things: the toilet cheating scandal, chess boxing and anderssen

1. I was going to tell the whole story because it's hilarious and the players involved to this day don't shake hands in the beginning of their games, which is a sign of total disrespect in chess but it was getting really long

GothamChess has a great 30 min video on this event, just search "Chess Toilet Cheating Scandal (2006)" on youtube, you can leave out the games he analyses and just focus on pure drama, there are timestamps in the video

Long story short it's world chess championship 2006, Kramnik and Topalov playing best of 12 matches to decide who's the world champion, and when Kramnik starts winning more and more Topalov accuses him of cheating. In the bathroom. Because during hours long matches guy goes out to the toilet with a "strange, if not suspicious" frequency and there's a cable on the ceiling of the toilet. So Kramnik gets super pissed and holy tardis of gallifrey, all hell breaks loose.

(I'm laughing rn I can't-)

2. Chess boxing. The most insane sport I've ever heard of and it's exactly what it sounds like.

There's a chessboard next to a boxing ring. The players have a few chess moves/some time to play. Then they switch to boxing, also for a while. And then again to chess. And again to boxing. And again and again and again until someone loses in one of these disciplines.

You can't win your chess match? Gotta crush them in the ring. You can't win boxing match? Oh buddy, good luck with chess.

I have no idea how did this become a thing.

3. And the final one, Adolf Anderssen, the guy who lived like 200 years ago and is probably my favourite chess player ever.

You know romanticism era? All the drama, poems, affairs? Romantic chess was exactly like that. Its Wikipedia page literally says "winning was secondary to winning with style". And Anderssen was one of the most famous players of that time.

Some games are so good they get their own names, titles, idk. This is the case with The Immortal Game won by Anderssen against Kieseritzky, who probably regretted he's ever been born afterwards. Basically Anderssen sacrificed his strongest pieces (both his rooks and the fucking queen, what the fuck who does that) (I'm so sorry for swearing but ndjsnjsntwcs), left his king without any defenders out in the center of the board while being attacked by two different pieces including the enemy queen and then checkmated the enemy king.

I aspire to be like this man.

There's another game with a title won by him, The Evergreen Game, but I don't remember it that well so yeah

He was amazing

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hospitalterrorizer · 3 months

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diary171

3/3-4/2024

sunday - monday

a nice day off i guess.

back 2 feeling bad tomorrow though. not that bad though. the next 2 days are just 3 hour shifts, but after that,,,, 2 more days off, and then 2 more 7.5 hour shifts. isn't that sooo cooooool.

i know people live like that normally but really they should not i think. it is not good for people.

anyway, today i've mostly been mixing this one song, since i'm not going in early tomorrow, i'm gonna be able to record vocals probably tomorrow, so i'm thinking i'm gonna do that for this song, replacement vocals for parts/because i disliked some lyrics. and then maybe some more stuff re: vocals on other songs. whatever i need to do to get things done, and if it's stuff that's like, simple, as in, going in and re-recording, that'll be good.

i should get a list of songs i need to re-record together, for vocals, and songs that need new lyrics. huhmmmmmmmm. i don't want to make it tedious though. but i guess it just might end up that way... frustrating and sad and a whole lot of other things. idk. it's just hard to get practiced rn. my gf and i are like home at the same times mostly. i just need time to myself to like, practice i feel like. but i don't really want her to go when i'm off work or whatever.

testing some stuff out to get these vocals to sound right, the parts/bones i do like/ need to help guide me, i think.

one idea was less distortion, i always do a bit too much, and then another was i forgot on the master fx, the weird high pass filters on psp infinistrip's compressors. i know what they do now, better, they just make the songs i'm making sound better when i push them up higher, i think. so i'm doing that.

i did take a long break at around 11 pm where i played elden ring some, i fought some random bosses, stuff like that, i found a cute chest piece to wear. that is one criticism i have of the game, not enough pretty/cute armor, dark souls had so much, demon's souls was very cool looking imo, ds3 was also good, ds2 was weird but good ultimately. elden ring lacks in that department, i think. very strange.

i also just need to buy a new mouse soon, this one is double clicking by accident/malfunction, super annoying.

another thing, i want to do some stuff to that horse thing i did yesterday, i had an idea for things to draw over top of it/modify it with gut-y things. it could be good, for something, idk what though.

since i am sleepy, i'll cut this one short i guess, a final bit of thinking though, re: today

i was thinking about like, why i like music w/ screaming in it, in the shower today, and about how it reminds me of this noise in my head sometimes, it's not like, coming from anger, it's like a violent and incoherent thought, not violent outwardly, but its happening, it is an eruption of some sort, it is a straight line, or like, an epiphany, a gust of wind from where but leading me elsewhere, it is gravity, it gives me something but its utterances can't really be expressed. this is all to say, it's inarticulate to the point of articulating something, it used to appear a lot more, when i was a lot more unwell i guess, it was like screaming and also the scraping of a machine, it didn't crowd out the ability to think though, it was concurrent with my internal voice, it was a phenomenon, i lived beside it, or it lived through me, idk. i hope it doesn't sound deluded to say it articulated something in its incoherence, because i don't think it articulated anything meaningful on the level of like, what i am, you know. it gave me very little except a feeling, it revealed itself as a feeling speaking totally, its own voice, i guess, cleaved from the semantic structures i live by typically, another voice speaking wrong, i guess the gnashing of the teeth, an abjection appearing inside me, or maybe the waste produced in thought reached out and shook me. that is what it seems like now. it is a theoretical thing, almost, spurred on by difficult circumstance in my life. music like orchid or powerviolence or anything else really excessive along similar lines speaks that same sort of position i think, or it at least seems to emerge from there. not necessarily rage or whatever, it doesn't have to be angry, it is just brittle and coming apart. i was thinking of this beside why my girlfriend doesn't seem to always like that stuff, and i think it's more that to her, it recalls being screamed at, rather than a wall of noise that can be pointed outward (recalling cybernetic hypothesis' idea of a zone of offensive haze now), or used to shroud oneself. this is a difference of experience but not desire, since we want that same thing, but we imagine it differently.

this is what makes us a good couple, i think.

currently waiting for this final export now. i am so actually almost painfully tired i feel like.

okay... that was not the final one, but maybe this will be.. ihope.

i think i will just have to figure this one out tomorrow, but it's getting there, i think the instrumental is sitting at the right volume but idk what's up with the vocal mix. maybe too many scooped mids? idk. a weird sound overall. maybe it has to do w/ the not distorted low end? i can try fooling w/ that tomorrow as well.

anyway, i need to sleep now so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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imaginebabygurl · 3 years

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Love me... Part 2

Here we are Volterra, to be honest I thought it would look... Idk more ... menacing? Idk but it was actually a really beautiful place and quiet peaceful. Old couples enjoying drink at a near by cafe and children running along the streets and then there was us. We stuck out like a sore thumb. But to be honest I Don't think anyone really minded, they probably though we were tourist of some sort.

Anyways making our way to the castle, it lookes really beautiful and as soon as we walk in two strange looking teenagers, wait I'm still a teenager but they looked weird and eternally in pain. Well I heard they had a tragic back story they had almost been burn at a stake and their called the witch twins what a cruel fate for misunderstanding. People being irrational and having mob mentality.

"You must be the human, we've been waiting for." The one with blonde hair placed in a neat bun, not a single hair lead astray. That must have beem Jane and then her brother Alce finished what the rest of the sentance.

"We shouldn't keep the Kings waiting sister."

"Yes your right, Cullens.Swan. Let's go we've wasted too much time and Cauis is getting impatience."

Without another word they both simultaneously walked away, which was really weird. Another thing that name Caius, it made me feel werid but this was no time to focus on feelings.

As we walk over to the throne room Alice had fallen came beside me in the back.

"Y/n listen there something and I should have told this before but your gonna meet the kings and your gonna fall in love with one of them ."

I stopped in my tracks.

"Wait what no! With who?!"

Before Alice got a chance to speak Jane spoke.

"Please keep moving." Jane said

"Unless you want your friend to be a snack to the lower gaurds." Followed Alec.

As soon as we walked through the door I saw him, I felt him even though I had never seen him...I just knew that's who Alice was taking about. A blonde haired man sitting on right side of the three thrones. He looked cruel and bored, as well as tired of this whole thing, but then he noticed me staring and stared back. With judgement and I didn't know wether it was good or bad just staring into my soul and all their eyes were so red. But that was because of the fact that they drank human blood.

Then Aro and Carlise spoke I was informed a little bit about the Volturi, thanks to Carlisle and their history together.

Aro the one with the shimmery glint in his eyes and an all to perfect smile.

"Friends Welcome and so good to see the new Cullen...Bella."

Something about the way the he talked was a mix of emotions bizarre and frightening but also alluring.

"We're fine thank youbfor having us and being able to disscuss. But of course its not my final say,Y/n dear are you ready. " Carlisle said.

"I-I guess so."

"I think we should have her as a meal." The Jane said and with a loud hiss everyone turned to the blonde man.

"What an interesting match". The man with a solemn face say.

Aro looked back and said "brother what do you mean?"

"Y/n and Caius are to be mates." Plainly and Caius hissed "Is that even possible?"

"I guess so."

"But our dear Y/n its up to you short and simple to live or to die but you do have a interesting gift."

"I'd rather die."

"What?!!Y/n No!!" Everyone Shouted

Aro sighed " what a shame.Felix."

"No."

Caius help me in his arms and had a tight grip he looked intensely in my eyes and I wondered how can a man be so friengthening yet beautiful at the same time.

"Y/n your mine and if you think your gonna choose death then your sadly mistaken."

And with that Caius bit down hard into Y/n's neck and she screamedes with agony as her screams echoed throughout the castle walls then everything went black.

Y/n had woken up she doesn't know if it was hours, days or months. But she knew that she was different her smell was heightened, things were much clearer.

I woke in bed quickly went to the bathroom and I looked different the major differance was my now ruby red eyes. Also I went to a big glass mirror that stood beside a giant window I pulled back the curtaind and my (s/c) sparkled inn the sunlight.

And with a flash he was behind me looking at me taking in my presence.

"Your beautiful." And kissed me on the right side of my temple.

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years

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Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021

Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.

So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.

That was until my friend showed up at my house...

He called me and said to come outside, so I did.

It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.

I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.

I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.

We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.

It was gonna be a great fucking concert.

Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.

We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.

We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.

I love these things.

Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.

It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.

So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.

I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.

What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.

When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.

I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.

I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.

Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.

But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.

I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.

Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.

Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.

Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.

It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.

After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.

Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.

"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."

The crowd sings along to every word.

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"

The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.

This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.

Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:

"We will, we will rock you"

"I love rock and roll"

"Hey, Ho, let's go"

A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.

All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.

I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"

I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line 🤣"

It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.

The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.

It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.

I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.

When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.

It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.

Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.

Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.

At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.

"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."

Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.

"Turn the house lights off."

The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.

"Look at that."

It was honestly an incredible moment.

That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.

Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.

If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.

I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.

Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.

I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.

I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.

And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.

I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.

That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.

Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.

BEST PART IS:

I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,

"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"

I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.

The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."

I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT

HERE IT IS

YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE

But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.

Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."

Agreed.

Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.

Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.

I got home.

I passed out.

Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH

I hope you enjoyed

Be good people!!!!

-Leonna

#Concert #Green Day #Fall Out Boy #Weezer #The Interrupters #Green Day Concert #Daily Blog #Blog #Trans #LGBTQ #alternative rock #Alternative #Pop Punk #Punk Rock

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erismerald · 4 years

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MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting, so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on? I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

_______________________________________

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the-cryptographer · 7 years

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Screw it, I'm asking Malik Ishtar for the meme thing! (Only if you want to, of course...)

THANK YOU :D

How I feel about this character:

My secret favourite!!! I think I tend to likecharacters that are all about BIG UGLY EMOTIONS, and Malik is a lot of those,lol. For me, he’s an effective villain – both really terrible and really understandably so. I think the way he gets so energetic about pursuing the God Cards and the Pharaoh, and then gets in over his head and has to abandon ship on his own revenge, and then continues to see through his role as tombkeeper because he’s just so worn out from trying to fight it – aaaaagh! It’s so upsettingly believable.

In terms of characterisation, he’s floating around brilliant but lazy territory for me. He’s intelligent, but also an idiot, andalso all he really wants to do is ride around on his bike and sleep alone inhis room and live comfortably. He’s capable, but not very ambitious. Not much of a visionary, lol.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Ryou. Yuugi. Shizuka.

…well that was a very short list for me. I can also enjoy theifshipping to a certain degree, although I’m not really very interestedin it as a postcanon or endgame ship. And the potential for Malik’s torture ofMai to be sexualised is something I think is both interesting and not that farfrom its canon presentation – so I guess that may count as shipping them insome kind of messed up way. And I guess I also I find myself conceptuallyinterested in Ishtar sibling incest, but I haven’t run into any that treats thesubject matter with the kind of tone I’d like.

More on the ships though: Malik doesn’t directly interact with Yuugi or Ryou much in canon, but both ships seem to have the ability to be about softness and healing to me. Since Ryou and Malik have both experiences a violent and upsetting possession of sorts, them coming to move past that together has the potential to be pretty sweet. And since Malik has a kind of troubled relationship with ‘the Pharaoh’, and how he feels his life has been shaped by these ancient politics, I think Yuugi’s kind of in a unique place to be able to understand both the past and Atem’s journey and his ownplace in the present to be able to help Malik contextualise that in a waythat’s meaningful to him.

And Malik & Shizuka is a nice ship if what you’re going for is exploring Shizuka’s massivedisillusionment. Leaving aside the way that a nice trip to visit yourestranged brother suddenly turned upsettingly full of ugly complicated feelings and murder, I think Malik tends towards a frankness that doesn’t sit well with Shizuka's ideals. This is a fun ship~

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Ishtar Siblings!!! Malik’s relationship with Rishid is at once so lovely and so heartbreakingly upsetting. I think they struggle to find the balance between how they see each other as siblings and how they see each other in this hierarchy of master and subordinate – the way they come through for each other at the end of the story is just so touching. And Malik and Isis aren’t as close, but I like that their conflicting values, and understanding of their responsibilities, don’t compromise their love and the desire to protect one another. Ishtar Siblings!!!

I also like Malik & Yuugi & Ryou as a BrOTP. And I have a strange interest in Malik & Jou broing out or coming to realise they can’t bro out because he murdered you and tortured your best lady friend postcanon.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I’m not really sure what constitutes an unpopular opinion regarding Malik, but I have several that might count.

(1) The Millennium Rod only exacerbated problems hewas already having due to the effects of trauma and a shaky headspace. YamiMalik is the product of Dissociative Identity Disorder in relationship to Borderline Personality Disorder, and exists in a reactionary way to Malik rather than being a distinct person.

(2) He’s about as culturally Egyptian as your standard Amish person can be considered culturally American. (Or, idk, I think the Hutterites are a more apt comparison in a number of ways, if I’m sticking to offshoots of Christianity. More research on different religions is needed but, in terms of daily living, you can take all sorts of cues about the tombkeepers from different isolationist religious “cults”.)

(3) He’s a deadly serious character really –cerebral and ponderous. His sense of humour is along the lines of dry andsarcastic, rather than laugh-out-loud.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I ALSO WISH THE ISHTARS HAD BEEN IN DSOD THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

I think it would have made sense to mention them in relationship to what Seto was doing in Egypt at the very least. Seto was rooting around in Ancient Egyptian ruins that the tombkeepers had the right too, yeah? I feel like it might’ve been an interesting political/business deal he struck with the Ishtars. Maybe Isis needed money to help in the process of reintegrating the tombkeepers into above-ground society? I don’t know, but I feel like there’s a story there~

Also, it might be obvious from some of these other headcanons, but I wish the conclusion to Malik’s story had been more on the side of ‘the hate you’re feeling is valid if completely toxic’, which is why I like the idea of Yami Malik running amok in his head postcanon, even though I think the manga leaned heavily towards a canon interpretation where he was freed of Him.

my OTP:

Malik/Ryou edges out Malik/Yuugi by a little, but not by much.

my happy ending for them:

Not part of this meme, but you made me realise I wanted to write it all down~

Given my incredibly depressing diagnosis for Malik, I think managing his life will always be somewhat of a struggle. Yami Malik is probably here to stay. Malik will likely always have outbursts, and always have a cruel and violent streak. At his worst, the most I can say is that he and the people around him will be aware of the warning signs and be able to restrain him ahead of time instead of having to do so in the middle of an episode. At his best, I think Yami Malik might appear once every month or two, and just kind of storm around the house/apartment being sullen. I don’t think Yami Malik has the same kind of emotional range or needs as one would expect a completehuman to have – so he doesn’t need much more than to be acknowledged by the others and then left to his own devices. I don’t think he likes being touched, but he may someday accept a hug from Ryou or Yuugi or Isis and take a small comfort in the fact that he isn’t hated. Rishid is a lost cause, and will have to stay away during those times, because Yami Malik will without question react violently to him. I think, in a way, a direct reflection of Malik’s own desires– for his hatred and pain to be acknowledge and accepted by those around him, by all except Rishid, who Malik would most keenly like to be less hateful person for. Malik does not want Rishid to see Yami Malik, and so Yami Malik pushes Rishid away with a lot of force… potentially lethal force.

In terms of the more mundane things, I imagine Malik goes through a period where he wants to travel everywhere and see everything to kind of make up for the fact that he was confined to a dark hall his entire childhood. I think he’ll travel Africa and Europe and see more of Japan at thevery least, but who knows where his travels might take him~ But eventually Iimagine him settling down somewhere, since I don’t think his affinity fortravel is about travelling as much as its about taking in the world’s breadth.As long as he can enjoy bike rides and the wind and open sky and the company of those he likes, I think he’s fine being anywhere. He and Rishid are veryride-or-die so they’ll definitely stick together, I think. Him and Isis is moreiffy, but I’d like to see Isis and him also remain close and live close together.

In terms of a job, he’s really not into forty hour work weeks, lol. He wasn’t raised under the expectation he’d be part of a contemporary work force. And he’d additionally have trouble balancing that amount of stress with his mental healths. He’d take odd jobs here and there, or work part time in something pretty low pressure. Depending on how lucrative the limited amount of work he does is, he may or may not need to rely on his siblings or lover for support. In terms of what he does…? Tinker around a souvenir shop maybe? Or he runs errands for or does translations for the museum, through his connection with Isis?

And I don’t think he’d want kids, or make a verygood parent for that matter. He’s satisfied with being the weird uncle to his nieces and nephews.

my cross over ship:

I don’t have one, sorry~

a headcanon fact:

Hasn’t everything I’ve said thus far been me taking my own headcanons way too seriously?

Coptic, Arabic, French, Japanese. Rishid is the same, except he’s not as fluent in the last two, and also not as well studied in Ancient Egyptian scriptures. Isis is the only one of the Ishtar siblings that speaks English.

Oh, jeez, he is pretty much universally hated by his tombkeeper peers. Even when he was little he was a divisive character with how harsh and cruel he can be at times. And then he was shadily involved in the bloody murder of his father. When he left to form the Rare Hunters with Rishid, he bitterly alienated most of his extended tombkeeper family, but some of them followed him to join his crime syndicate. And then those who had followed him took poorly to the way Malik abandoned the Rare Hunters, and followed Isis back home with his tail between his legs. Literally everybody he grew up with except his siblings hates him and Malik spends the time from Battle City to the Ceremonial Duel hiding out in his room having Rishid bring him his meals because the tomb keepers are done with him and he’s done with them. And he’s technically their ‘leader’, but Isis made a bid for being de facto leader when he skipped out years earlier and, disappointed but resigned, she continues to carry the position when Malik’s returned. “She’s a great leader (even though she’s a woman),” everyone says. They all love her, lol.Rishid is more polarising, since he’s generally so mild and polite. Some of the tombkeepers see what he did as betrayal, but a lot of them view him with a sort of condescending pity and kindness - poor boy, led astray by his association with Master Malik. This makes Malik even more angry. ‘We are brothers and equals!!’ he yells. Even though he isn’t completely free of blame when it comes to treating Rishid as lesser.

Also, it’s totally canon that somewhere along the line he makes some big fuss and his criminal record from being involved with the Rare Hunters gets dragged out of the closet, and the Egyptian Government tells him to gtfo of our country… right?

#thank you again for the ask #i feel like i'm rehashing what i've already told you #but i appreciate this opportunity to let my Malik feels escape #headcanon parade #Malik Ishtar #save me from this card game hell #DeLurk words the meta #meta #ask #long post #so long...

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