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quizmeghan · 3 years

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#24

Layers Layer 1: The Basics

Name: meghan Age: 28 Birthday: 16/2 Gender: f Zodiac Sign: aquarius

Layer 2: Your Family

Do you have any brothers or sisters? a sister Do you have any pets? a cat Do you still live with your parents? yeah Do you have any stepparents? nope How many cousins do you have? 6

Layer 3: Your Friends

Who is your best friend? 3 from high school Who have you been friends with the longest? r What do you like to do with your friends? eating, cinema, drinking. i miss it all! Do you have more friends online or in real life? real life What is a good way to make friends with others? i don’t really know

Layer 4: Your Home

Do you live in a home, apartment, duplex, trailer, etc? house How many rooms are there in your house? 4 bedrooms Is your home large or small? i suppose it’s big for the uk? you could probably fit all the bedrooms into one american bedroom though. What is your favorite room in your house, and why? the living room because it’s where i relax. usually i’d say my room, but i work there now lol. Do you prefer having people over to your house, or would you rather go to theirs? going to others

Layer 5: Can You

Can you fold your tongue into the taco shape? yeah! Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? i could but i would hate it Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? yep Can you hold up your end of a physical fight? i’ve never been in one but i have lots of bottled rage so if i needed to i could tap into that. i don’t like confrontation though so the fight would be over before i even knew it had begun, tbh. Can you do any yo-yo tricks? nope

Layer 6: Who

Who inspires you the most, and why? my mum, she’s super strong Who helps you maintain your sanity? my friends? the internet? Who do you go to most often for advice? my mum probably Who knows you better than you know yourself? again, my mum Who is someone that you would die or put your life on the line for, no questions asked? friends and family

Layer 7: Do you

Do you still eat sandwiches without the crusts? not really Do you typically finish your meal at a restaurant, or need to take a container home? mostly, and unless it’s an almost full meal (which, if you know me, is never), then no i wouldn’t take it home Do you pull an Oreo apart in order to eat it? depends how i feel Do you read a lot of gossip magazines? nah Do you make friends easily? no, i’m too socially awkward and shy. like, shyness used to literally paralyse me, and it still sometimes can

Layer 8: How Many?

How many people live in your house with you? 3 others plus cat How many pets have you had in your lifetime? it’s a bit of a joke in our family but our cat is currently pet #28, and that’s only in my lifetime How many tries does it take you to become successful at something? i don’t really know How many meals do you eat a day? usually 2 meals, sometimes i have breakfast too. i eat a load of shite in between though lol How many people can you honestly tolerate? not a lot. socialising really exhausts me

Layer 9: How

How do you typically get to school or work? pre-covid, work used to be by bus. now i’m on placement it’s walking How do you deal with a breakup? ngl, i’ve never had one. How do you like to help others? i just try and be there or offer help literally every two seconds. probably to the point of annoyance How do you know when you’ve found “the one”? tf if i know How do you sleep in bed? i start off on my front with one leg propped on a pillow and another pillow behind my back but when i’m sleeping i constantly toss and turn

Layer 10: What

What do you think happens when we die? i think it’s a nice thought to think that you learn everything. What do you do if there’s no toilet paper left on the roll and you’re already peeing? shout someone to bring me some What do you eat most often? crisps What toys did you enjoy most as a child? i played with barbie’s a lot i suppose, but i looooved my rollerskates, scooters, bikes, all that stuff What do you do if you witness someone being awful to someone else? i’ve never really witnessed it. once in work customers got into a row and i ran to deal with it but they were done and out of the building before i got there.

Layer 11: Where

Where is your favorite place to eat out? i like wagas, amore, zizzis, fuck at this point i miss spoons Where is the place that has the best ice cream in your area? loop n scoop, although their nutella churos are where it’s at Where did you meet your current or last significant other? n/a Where can you be found at 7 PM. typically? in my room doing uni work or watching netflix Where can you find the best French fries? everywhere is shit for them here, mcdonalds maybe? that’s where the bar is set

Layer 12: When

When did you find out the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy? i was in p5 with santa, so pretty late lol, the easter bunny was my parents straight-up telling me one morning when i went into their room to tell them the easter bunny hadn’t been. i’d forgotten about that haha When do you typically fall asleep? ooft, recently it’s been like 1-2am, i’ll need to sort that before placement When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment? not sure When do you feel most comfortable? on my own, watching shows When did you last go to the bathroom? maybe about an hour ago

Layer 13: Why

Why do you enjoy taking surveys so much? i just like answering questions Why do people gossip so much? not a clue, it’s beyond me Why can’t humans fly? it’s an outrage at this point, really Why aren’t you doing something else right now? lockdown is very boring, plus i finished my essay (woo!) Why is the sky blue? reflection of the water. i don’t think that’s right, but it sounds smart haha

Layer 14: If…

If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on? a holiday, a house, a car, pay my parents mortgage If you found out someone was cheating on you, would you ever take them back? never If you found a wallet with cash in the street, including identification, would you turn it in? Why or why not? yeah i would, i’d feel too guilty If you could have any food right now, what would you like? a wagas omg i’ve been craving for months now If you found out that the world was going to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last day? outside with my pals, fuck covid

Layer 15: Firsts

When did you lose your first tooth? idk? Who was your first teacher that you ever had? miss miller and she was FAB When did you first learn how to ride a bike? age 3 or 4 maybe? probably earlier than that knowing me Did your first birthday have a theme to it? no cos it was the 90′s and no one went overboard like they do these days

Layer 16: Lasts

Last person you texted: my sister Last drink you sipped: diet bru Last time you rode a bike: years ago now Last time you swam in a pool: years again Last person you hugged: fuck knows, i’ve not hugged anyone for over a year now. it was probs one of my friends

Layer 17: Favorites

Favorite Color: purple Favorite Season: autumn Favorite Shape: i quite like a circle or a triangle? i’ve never thought about that before Favorite Letter: again, haven’t thought about this either... A? Favorite Number: i like 7 and 11, not sure why

Layer 18: This or That

Pepsi or Coke? pepsi Movies or Television? mmm, depends Phone or Tablet? phone Fruits or Vegetables? i probably eat more vegetables tbh Animals or Humans? neither (but animals)

Layer 19: Which

Which Poke’mon is your favorite? i used to love charmander and pikachu. Which day of the week is your favorite? a friday or saturday Which birthday celebration was the most memorable for you? the one where all time low played the day before my birthday then had an afterparty, and vegas played me into my birthday at midnight. i don’t remember the age, maybe like 23ish? Which holiday is your favorite? christmas then halloween Which shoe do you put on first? i think my right?

Layer 20: Love Life/Relationships

What is the name of your first love? matt willis from busted don’t @ me How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love? never Have you ever been in a relationship before that was abusive in any way? no Have you ever been engaged or married before? nope Do you have any children? no thank u

Layer 21: Jobs, Dreams, & Goals

What did you want to be when you grew up (as a little kid)? a singer because who didn’t? What do you aspire to be now? What interests you? a teacher, i’m studying, almost there! What is the most recent goal you’ve achieved? i finished my essay a week before hand-in date, if you know me, that deserves a gold medal What is a goal you are still striving to reach? finishing placement and passing Have you ever won any sort of awards before? If so, for what? daft things like staff member of the month (which was ran for one month, smh), awards in school and stuff. nothing big

Layer 22: Opinions & Beliefs

Pro-life or pro-choice? pro-choice! Were you raised with any sort of religious background? If so, then what? no, my mum is catholic and my dad isn’t, and when i was born they decided not to choose my religion for me, and that they would allow me to choose when i grew up if i wanted. i went to a non-denom primary school so we learned about loads of religions (which always stands out in my memory as being so cool), and then i went to a catholic high school, and have volunteered and taught in catholic schools. my mum always jokes that i’m a catholic via osmosis lol. Democrat, Republican, or Independent? i ain’t american so this is confusing For or against the death penalty? honestly, against Thoughts on assisted suicide? i think i’m for it, although i don’t know enough about it

Layer 23: Currently/Today/Present

What day is it? 7th march What’s the weather like outside? raining and 6 degrees, standard What have you eaten? i had steak pie and mash for dinner a few hours ago Did you run any errands? not today What time is it? 22:34

Layer 24: Yesterday

Did you have a work shift? no one has work shifts hahahahahahahaha (help) Did you eat out anywhere? no one’s doing that either Was it snowing? no the snow left a few weeks ago Who did you last say goodnight to? my sister i think? Did anything unusual happen? nope

Layer 25: Tomorrow

Do you have to go to school/class? i have some zoom lectures tomorrow, yeah Does this day have any sort of significance to you? nope What is a chore that needs to get done? nothing Will you hang out with friends? nooooo What time will you be expected to be awake by? 9′s the aim. i haven’t actually checked my class time so it may be earlier than that. pray for me

Layer 26: Have You Ever

Performed a magic trick successfully? yes Sat or laid on a rooftop and looked at the stars? noooo you can’t really see the stars where we are Walked around with your underwear on inside out or backwards all day without realizing it? not underwear, but i once wore my leggings inside out travelling to work and had to change them when i got there. thankfully they look the exact same inside out as they do the right way round lol Touched a snake? yah! Been bitten by an animal? If so, what animal? my cat cos he’s an asshole, but never seriously

Layer 27: School Life

Are preschool and kindergarten mandatory where you live? they’re not mandatory but nursery placements are up to 30(??? - this may be incorrect) hours free from the scottish government for everyone aged 3 plus vulnerable 2′s, so you might as well take advantage of it Were you or anyone you knew homeschooled? nope Did you attend public or private school? ...i never know the difference because are they different in america? public in our sense anyway haha Were you bullied in school, popular, or somewhere in-between? i was bullied. in primary by people who were my friends, in early secondary by idiots, and by late secondary by people who used to be my friends What is the highest level of education that you completed? i have a ba honours and i’m studying for a post-grad just now

Layer 28: Your Appearance

Eye Color: brown Hair Color: also brown Height: 5′2 Weight: last time i was weight it was 69kg but i can GUARANTEE i’ve put on weight Do you have freckles. moles, beauty marks, or birthmarks - and where? some freckles on my face and arms, one on my hip which is my fave thing, a few small freckle-like moles on my neck, no beauty or birth marks

Layer 29: Electronics, Internet, & Social Media

How much time do you spend on the internet per day? literally almost all my waking day Which social media platforms do you belong to? insta, fb, twitter, tumblr, snapchat... mostly use insta When’s the last time you replaced the batteries in your television remote? i don’t think we’ve had to yet Are you more likely to stream movies and shows on your laptop, or cast them to your television? tv when i can but i use my laptop or ipad when i’m in my room Do you have an e-reader, or do you prefer actual books? i do have a kindle but i’ve not used it in years

Layer 30: Are You

Are you still in school? in uni just now Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ community? i’m not Are you looking forward to anything coming soon? hopefully the end of covid, but let’s face it, that’ll only happen if folk STAY HOME (lookin’ at you, rangers fans) Are you dreading anything coming soon? only a little, but my placement starts next week and that’s always daunting Are you gullible or naive? i can be!

Layer 31: Does

Does your workplace make you feel like you can never take a day off without feeling guilty about it? ...yep, this is one thing i will not miss post-covid lol Does someone currently hold the key to your heart? me Does anyone out there hate you? i’ve never given anyone a reason to, but i imagine there are Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? it can do sometimes Does crying make you feel less strong? ehh, sometimes? it’s hard to tell though because i literally cry at everything

Layer 32: Would You

Do the Polar Bear Plunge? i don’t know what this is but the answer is probably no Ever try to walk across a room blindfolded? you mean like the birdbox challenge? also no. although i have played blind man’s bluff when i was younger (it’s probably not called that now though) Swim with sharks? NEVER Go into outer space, given the chance? nooooo Go out in public, looking how you do right now? ahahaha, no, i’m in shorts and a hoodie

Layer 33: Pets/Animals

Do you have any pets? If so, what type, and their names… a cat called smokey If not, what type of pet have you always wanted? n/a What is your favorite animal? i love a giraffe Do you think it is cruel to have circus animals? yeah How often do you walk your dog, if you have one? How often do you scoop the litterbox, if you have a cat? we don’t have to change the litterbox cos he’s an outdoor cat

Layer 34: Food

What is your favorite breakfast item? i need to be in the mood to eat breakfast, but i quite like scrambled or poached eggs (again if i’m in the mood to eat egg, cos sometimes the smell of egg can be off-putting) What is your favorite kind of dessert? i like cheesecake Do you eat all three meals everyday? usually lunch and dinner, sometimes i have breakfast What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? due to surgeries or being sick maybe a couple days, but never because i’ve been out of food, which i realise is incredibly lucky What do you like to eat when you are feeling sick? literally nothing, who can eat when they feel sick? once i start to feel better i start with a slice of toast with the smallest scraping of marg on it then work up to half a tin of tomato soup

Layer 35: Past

Does your past ever come back to haunt you at times? not that i can think of What is one of your favorite memories of the past? literally anything pre-covid at this point What is something that you used to do in the past, but no longer do? go OUTSIDE If you could have a meal with someone from the past, who would it be, and what would you ask them? my gran, just to catch up on the last 14 years Which historical time period would you like to go back to and check out? ohh, i quite like the idea of visiting like, ww1/ww2?

Layer 36: Future

Do you think you will ever get married one day? i’ve always said i wouldn’t get married, but i could probably be talked into getting married. but my only condition would be that we get married IN SECRET then just have a party for friends and family when it’s done. Do you plan on ever getting a different job in the future, or are you happy with the one you’ve got? i’m studying to become a teacher, so fingers crossed by august i’ll be in my dream job What age do you plan to retire at? Or do you plan on working til you’re dead? with the way the retirement age is rising i’ll work myself into a grave haha What is something on your bucket list worth mentioning? uh, idk man, i used to have a load of meaningless shit there, probably just travelling If given the opportunity to see how your future plays out, would you take it, or no? no cos then you’d constantly be worrying about it, or wondering ‘if i make this decision today, will this affect the future?’ like nah who’s got time for that?

Layer 37: Hygiene

How often do you shower? every day mostly, try to wash my hair every second or third day How often do you brush your teeth? twice a day mostly, but always once daily Do you actually iron any of your clothes? only if it needs done or if i’m going somewhere that it matters, like school haha How often do you do laundry? it all gets lumped in together and done daily How long do you use a bath towel before switching it out? ....what is this, are there folk who reuse bath towels?

Layer 38: Clothing, Makeup, & Style

Do you wear nail polish? If so, how often do you paint your nails? i usually get shellac done, either at the salon or i do my own. depends really, but usually every 6-ish weeks How would your describe your sense of style? comfort and casual, unless it’s for school then it’s smart-casual Are there any popular trends that you do not find appealing? cropped everything or cycle shorts and trainers as a night out outfit (???) Where do you typically buy your clothing from? new look, dorothy perkins, primark What sorts of accessories do you wear/use? always earrings, sometimes a necklace/watch/bracelet/rings

Layer 39: Hobbies

Do you still color, even as an adult? yah yah i have a disney colouring book that’s amazing, but i’ve not used it in a while Do you/would you like to crochet, knit, cross-stitch, etc? i don’t have the patience for that. weird that i have it for colouring right enough What’s the last thing you crafted all by yourself? i made a very hungry caterpillar for uni a few months ago Do you use Pinterest at all? i do have it but don’t use it now. might have to create a new one for school though What’s the last thing that you cooked or baked? i cooked dinner a couple nights ago

Layer 40: Dislikes

List some of your pet peeves here. chewing with your mouth open who RAISED you people? What are some things that annoy you about yourself? how long you got? Is there anyone out there who you actually hate? Who? y e s What is a feeling that you dislike? feeling sick, i cannot cope with feeling sick Do you get some ugly road rage while driving? sometimes i can get frustrated but nothing like i’ve seen others like

Layer 41: Random

Have you ever successfully pogo’ed on a pogo stick? yesss, used to love my pogo stick Have you ever mastered the jump rope? i used to be quite good when i was younger, nothing fancy though Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy? i think so? Is it winter in your part of the world right now? yes yes What’s your favorite type of survey, and why? i don’t think i have a favourite? sometimes this or that ones can be good

Layer 42: Music

What are some of your favorite genres of music? pop punk mostly, i like a bit of pop too What are some music genres that you can’t stand? COUNTRY If you had a blank pair of concert tickets, who would you hope to be going to see? all time low, 5sos or mcfly, as those were concerts that have all been postponed for me, wahhhh Do you still listen to music on the radio from time to time? i only really listen to the radio in the car on short journeys iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, or YouTube? apple music

Layer 43: Books

What were some of your favorite books as a child? i liked jacqueline wilson books. obviously harry potter books What genre of books do you typically read most often? mostly crime thriller or young adult and there’s literally nothing in between What are some of your favorite books as an adult? hp, karen rose or tess gerritsen books are quite good, divergent books were also alright What is a book that you were required to read for school that you actually enjoyed? none, i HATED english. we also only done plays or poems, we didn’t do novels. talk about teaching to the test lol Do you read any newspapers or magazines anymore? i haven’t read magazines since i was a teen, or newspapers either because we were forced to read broadsheets in english.

Layer 43: Around the World

Where’s the best place you’ve taken a vacation and/or day trip to? DISNEYWORLD Where is somewhere that you’d like to go someday, assuming you have the funds to do so? literally disneyworld again, i don’t even care, i would move there Where do your family members originate from? we’re all scottish, ancestors at some point are irish What is your favorite type of cuisine? italian probably What is something that is typically representative of your own culture? irn bru, bagpipes, ginger hair, kilts, haggis, and ceilidhs..... that’s a very stereotypical answer

Layer 44: Would you Rather…

Drink apple juice or grape juice? apple Wear pants or shorts? shorts for comfies (indoor), jeans for comfies (outdoor) Be taller or shorter? taller Go to a zoo or an aquarium? zoo Visit an art gallery or a museum? museum

Layer 45: Movies

Do you remember what the first movie was that you saw in theaters? i don’t remember seeing it, but i know it was disney’s 101 dalmatians What are some of your favorite movies you’ve seen? this is a bad question for me cos i like loads of movies. we recently watched all the divergent’s so they popped into my head. i also love easy a. harry potter if that wasn’t obvious. mcu movies. i like a lot of films haha What genre of movie do you typically enjoy? i like some superhero, comedies usually, some horror/thriller, romcoms if i’m in the mood, although i’ve been known to watch movies for certain actors, so... What is a movie you’ve seen that you weren’t expecting to like, but were pleasantly surprised? i was forced to watch the new star wars movies (i will not watch the old ones), and i actually quite enjoyed those How many movies do you own? Are they all DVD’s, or do you still have some VHS ones left? i have loads of dvd’s but they’re all in the garage now that i have netflix and disney+ haha

Layer 46: Personality

Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? introvert Are you more easygoing and laid back, or anal? really, i think i’m pretty anal about certain things and the opposite with others. also depends on the day you get me, but mostly i’d say anal Are you kind to everyone who shows that they deserve kindness? i’m kind to everyone. unless you approach me in a club then you can gtfo Describe your sense of humor. it’s dark and it’s self-depreciating and it’s brilliant Do you tend to over-share? sometimes?

Layer 47: Celebrities

Which celebrity has given their child the most unique name, in your opinion? by unique i assume you mean stupid, and if the answer isn’t elon musk i- Are there any celebrities that you keep tabs on/read articles about often? alex gaskarth or anything atl related really, sometimes dylan o’brien. really if i hear something about someone i just look it up Who is/are your celebrity crush(es)? alex gaskarth or dylan o’brien Have you ever personally met someone famous before? If so, then who? all time low, james mcavoy, frankie boyle, limmy Who is a celebrity that you’re getting tired of hearing about all the time? meghan markle

Layer 48: Emotions

When was the last time you cried? this morning at the credits of a movie that i did not watch. see what i mean about crying at everything? What are some things that you’re afraid of? sharks, oceans, fire, clowns, losing parents What is something small that makes you happy? not setting an alarm Who is the last person that you were angry with, and about what? um, rangers fans for breaking covid restrictions lol. this is what my life is now Are you typically a shy or outgoing person? shy shy shy remember the crippling shyness?

Layer 49: Digging Deeper

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? gin and lemonade, vodka soda lime, or a small amount of fruit cider How old were you when you got drunk for the first time? 16 Do you smoke? noooo Have you ever taken and sent naked pictures of yourself? yeah Have you ever done any drugs other than marijuana? If so, which ones? naw

Layer 50: Games

What are some of your favorite video games? i don’t really play video games Do you have any computer games that you play regularly? nope What was your favorite board game, growing up? i liked cluedo, and also i had a harry potter version of cleudo which was brilliant and so much better How about your favorite card game? i only know switch and go fish haha How good are you at solving puzzles? (such as a Rubik’s cube, word puzzles, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle) jigsaws are okay but sometimes i get bored, anything else i’m rubbish at

[ohsh1t2wksl8]

#24 #quiz #survey #source:tumblr

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meshkol · 5 years

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Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

@100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

@itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

@BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

@they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

@snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

@kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

@MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

@shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

@gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

@truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

@i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

@iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

@truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

@queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

@OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

@Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

@ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

@highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

@TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

@xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

@one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

@mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

@its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

@bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

@catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

@Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.