#‘YOU KIDS GET OFF MY GODDAMN LAWN’

[pinkvampiress]

This is a whole ass senior citizen JUST LOOK AT HIM

#‘YOU KIDS GET OFF MY GODDAMN LAWN’ #old man yells at cloud #castlevania #adrian tepes #castlevania nocturne #folks were worried that sanitized him but nope #that man is mentally coming up with remarks to bully poor richter with

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Butter

Joel Miller x F!Reader

{ Main Masterlist }

Rating: None

Summary: What if Joel doesn't forget to buy himself a cake for his birthday? But by the time he remembers, all the bakeries in his neighbourhood are closed - except yours.

Warnings: No outbreak AU, pure fluff, mentions of baking and food, meet cute, some sexual tension but very mild stuff compared to my other fics, single dad!Joel being a sexy menace, reader has a nickname related to her job, reader has an accent similar to Joel, very lightly edited, not my best work, but I'm in my writing for fun era 💁🏻‍♀️

Word count: 3.6k

Notes: It's here! This was an exercise in speed writing, and just putting words to paper without overthinking anything. I really enjoyed writing this sweet little piece, this is dedicated to @psychedelic-ink who has been the biggest cheerleader for this idea since day one. Happy birthday to our favourite single dad who never lived through a cordyceps outbreak ❤️

September 26, 2003 was supposed to be a good day.

It’s Friday, after all. Not that the weekend is relevant to you anymore, with Saturdays and Sundays being the busiest days for business. But you have a date for once tonight, and you’re determined to enjoy it.

If you can get the goddamn security shutter to close, that is.

Standing on your tiptoes, you pull futilely at the bottom of the metal shutter with both hands, but it refuses to budge. You lament the sweat seeping through the fabric of the nice dress you changed into, the hem reaching almost indecent heights on the back of your thighs where it’s climbed up. And you don’t have to look at your reflection to know that stress has already smudged the edges of the eyeliner you hurriedly painted on as soon as you got the last customer out the door.

You can be forgiven for not noticing the wash of yellow headlights over the windows of the shop front and the sound of rolling tyres as a truck pulls up on the curb outside the bakery, until a gravelly voice pipes up behind you alongside hurried footsteps.

‘Ma’am, please tell me you’re still open.’

You tap on the ‘Closed’ sign through the window without turning around, determined to wrangle the shutter into submission. ‘Bad luck buddy, come back tomorrow. We open at nine sharp.’

‘No I can’t, I’m so sorry, but I need a cake now.’

Curiosity turns your head, and over your shoulder, you find a broad-shouldered man in a dark tshirt and casual jeans standing a respectful four paces away. Under eyebrows sloping downwards in a pleading angle that matches the slant of his moustache, his warm and imploring eyes are on you.

‘I’m sorry, sir, but I really need to go,’ you say. ‘Can you give me a hand?’

‘Look, I’ll do you one better. I’ll fix the shutter for you for free - if you sell me a cake.’

You purse your lips, the prospect of saving on what looks like an inevitable repair bill tempting. ‘You can fix it?’

‘I’m a contractor,’ he replies, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a battered looking wallet. ‘Here’s my card, if you think I’m bluffin’.’

Miller & Associates is printed in bold across the top, and underneath, is presumably his name and cell number. Glancing up at him, you say, ‘Look, Mr. Miller, I really want to help, but I’m late for a date, and I’m all sold out of cakes today -’

‘I’ll take anything you got. Cupcakes, cookies, whatever you have left,’ he cuts in, then apologises in quick succession, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. ‘I’m sorry to be so pushy - I’m not, usually - but I promised my daughter I’d bring something home, and by the time I remembered, this is the only place I could think of. Please.’

You feel the exact moment your resolve crack, and then fold like a goddamn lawn chair. What can you say, this contractor really knows how to work those puppy eyes, and you can never say no to a man who refuses to let their kid down. 

Especially when the man looks like this.

Shooting off a text to your date to push back your dinner plans, you nod towards the door. ‘Alright. C’mon in, Mr. Miller.’

‘Nice place you got here,’ he remarks politely, hovering by the entrance as the fluorescent lights flicker on, his manners impeccably southern. 

‘You don’t have to flatter me, I’ve already let you in,’ you joke, lips quirking at the way he flusters. ‘But I appreciate it. You been here before?’

When he smiles, you notice the corners of his eyes crinkle charmingly. ‘No, but I know I’ll be comin’ back.’

‘I wasn’t lying when I said I was out of ready-made cakes,’ you tell him, holding the door open to the kitchen so he can come in after you. ‘But I have some cake layers in the fridge so I can put together something fairly quickly.’

He ducks his head in a manner that tells you he’s not used to demanding things, and protests, ‘I don’t want to put you out. I meant it, if you just have some cupcakes or somethin’ -’

‘Listen, you promised your daughter a cake, didn’t you?’ you interrupt.

He shrugs. ‘Well, yeah I did -’

‘I’m guessin’ it’s for a birthday?’

He nods sheepishly. ‘It is.’

‘Well, as a baker, ‘mfraid I can’t let a cakeless birthday happen on my watch, Mr. Miller,’ you insist, opening the fridge door with a flourish. ‘Let’s see what we have here. Cake for three, I assume?’

‘Two, actually.’

Hopefully you’re as discreet as you think you are when your eyes drop to his left hand - his fourth finger is conspicuously ringless.

Interesting.

You hum, considering the mismatched options in your inventory. ‘It’s gonna be a bit of a Frankenstein’s monster of a cake, if you don’t mind. How does chocolate and vanilla layers with cookies and cream frosting sound?’

‘Sounds perfect,’ he answers without skipping a beat. ‘Thank you, ma’am.’

You shake your head, hands full of cake rounds wrapped in cling film as you nudge the fridge close. ‘Please, call me Bri, Mr. Miller.’

‘And you can call me Joel,’ he says in return. ‘Is Bri short for somethin’?’

Laying the cakes on the work surface, you reply, ‘Yeah, Bri for brioche, like the bread. It's a silly nickname.’

The single dad surprises you with a low whistle. ‘Can’t say I saw that comin’.’

You grin. ‘You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, Joel.’

You don’t often have an audience while baking, and you find yourself talking Joel through the steps while you prep everything for assembly.

Swirling a spatula through the tub of buttercream you made earlier that day, you explain, ‘I just need to whip up some of this frosting so that it’s nice and soft for putting the cake together. You wanna help me break up some Oreos so we can make it cookies and cream?’

‘I’m all yours, chef,’ he says, one corner of his mouth curling into a teasing smile that has no business warming the apples of your cheek as it does. ‘Just tell me what to do.’

While your Kitchenaid whirrs to life, whipping air into the buttercream, Joel wields a rolling pin, smashing a generous helping of Oreos into crumbs in a Ziplock bag. The almost exaggerated care with which he moves speaks to inexperience in the kitchen, and you muse that either his kid makes up for it in that department, or they live off takeout.

Eventually, he picks up the bag and looks at you in a question. ‘I think I’m done?’

You smile and tap the lip of the mixing bowl. ‘That’s perfect. Why don’t you tip in the crumbs straight in here?’

Before you can step back to allow him space, Joel’s taken two strides towards you, and his arm brushes your shoulder when he lifts the bag and tilts the contents into the frosting. He’s warm and solid, and damnit, he smells good - like sawdust and sweat.

The thought comes to you unbidden - what a man.

There’s a lull, and only when you feel the weight of eyes on you do you realise that you missed his question.

‘Did you say somethin'?’ you squeak, embarrassed.

‘I said, is this ok?’ he repeats, nodding at the mixing bowl.

You nearly stumble over your words. ‘Yes, yes it’s perfect.’

He watches you closely, a touch of concern in his brown eyes. ‘You ok there, honey?’

‘Yup,’ you chirp, far too cheerfully. ‘Just need to mix it all up now -’

If you had your wits about you, you would stir in the crumbs first and set the machine on low. But this man somehow stole said wits by sheer proximity to you, and you accidentally start the Kitchenaid on high, an indignant yelp escaping you when Oreo dust flies aggressively out of the bowl along with a splatter of white buttercream that lands squarely on the front of your dark knit dress.

‘Oh shit!’ you cry out, frantically turning off the mixer. ‘Shit shit shit!’

Over your panicked mantra, Joel is calmness itself. ‘Hang on, honey, I gotcha.’

He makes a beeline towards the sink, grabbing a tea towel and wets it under the tap with a bit of dishwashing liquid. It all screams competent single dad, and you find yourself staring at his unfairly large hand, mapped with thick veins, holding out the damp towel for you to take.

‘Thanks,’ you stutter self-consciously, the tips of your ears hot while swiping at the stain. ‘That was a rookie mistake. I promise I’m actually a good baker.’

He gives you a wink to put you at ease. ‘Don’t worry, I believe you.’

Starting over, the mixer hums as it gently incorporates the Oreos until the buttercream is a speckled grey and doubled in volume. ‘Looks like it’s ready. You wanna taste, Joel?’

‘Sure,’ he says. ‘D’ya have a spoon or somethin’ for me?’

‘You can use your fingers,’ you reply, and it's too late to take it back.

You feel the back of your neck heating up when he shoots you a meaningful look, just a touch of mischief in the tilt of his lips. 

‘Can I, now?’ he teases.

You try a nonchalant shrug that probably comes off as painfully awkward. ‘This batch is just for you, I won’t tell the health inspector if you don’t.’

Joel chuckles, his strong shoulders quaking. And so you watch, shamelessly, as he raises his right hand, index and middle fingers at the ready, before diving into the metal bowl, scooping up a generous dollop of buttercream. There’s a peek of his pink tongue when his plush lips part, and then he sucks his fingers into his mouth with a gratuitously loud moan, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

When he turns to you with a pained expression on his face, maintaining eye contact all the while licking an errant streak of frosting off the side of his middle finger, you gape at him for a whole five seconds before you manage to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth.

‘Good?’ you barely manage to squeak.

‘You betcha, honey,’ he declares, then adds, ‘Mind if I double dip?’

He doesn’t mean anything by it, you know it, but a hot flush runs through your body and you swallow thickly. ‘You can do whatever you want, cowboy.’

You don’t think you’re imagining the wicked glint in his answering stare - you’re getting yourself into trouble, and don’t you know it. 

Clearing your throat, you attempt to thwart your mind's dangerous descent into the gutter by changing the subject. ‘So, I can do somethin’ really snazzy that I think your daughter would like - do you know what a piñata cake is?’

He shakes his head. ‘Sounds dangerous.’

‘Hardly,’ you chuckle. ‘It’s a cake filled with sprinkles, so when you cut into it, it’s a sprinkles surprise!’

He lets out a playful sigh of relief. ‘As long as there’s no whackin’ involved, it’s good by me.’

You gesture at him to follow you across the room. ‘And here’s the fun part - you get to choose the sprinkles.’

Joel whistles at the reveal of your compulsively organised sprinkles cabinet, each shelf sorted by colour, shape and size. He quips, ‘Is this what the inside of your brain looks like, honey?’

You grin. ‘Pretty much. What’s your daughter’s name?’

‘Sarah.’

‘What colour does Sarah like?’

‘Any and all shades of pink.’

‘I can work with that.’

Now that everything is ready and waiting on the work surface, you pull out a lazy Susan and plonk a cake board on top of it, dusting your hands dramatically. ‘Alright, Joel. Ready for the magic to happen?’

Making himself comfortable next to you, he leans on his elbows, and your eyes are immediately drawn to the way his tshirt stretches and strains over his back. ‘Go ahead, I’m ready to be impressed, honey.’

Filling a piping bag full of the cookies and cream buttercream, you ask, ‘You wanna get your hands dirty?’

He raises his palms in surrender. ‘I’ll leave it to you, I don’t want to make you any more late for your date.’

You’re used to working with much bigger cakes, so this one doesn’t take you long. With a cookie cutter, you carve out a small circle from each cake round, then you stack and fill the layers with buttercream. After loading the shaft in the middle with all manner of pink sprinkles, you stopper the top with the cake cut-outs.

‘How old is Sarah turning today?’ you ask conversationally while you spin the cake around, smoothing on the crumb coat.

Joel looks up, surprised. ‘Oh, it’s my birthday today, not hers. ‘

‘Wait, what?’ you cry, throwing your hands up. ‘I made this cake with Sarah in mind - it will literally be vomiting pink sprinkles!’

‘I’m a girl dad. I like pink,’ shrugs Joel easily.

You huff, using an icing smoother to make sure the buttercream is even all over the cake. ‘I would pop the cake into the freezer to firm up before adding a final layer of frosting if I had the time, but this will have to do.’

‘It looks great,’ Joel assures you as you put the finishing touches to the cake, with buttercream swirls all around the top and a final baptism of sprinkles.

‘There, all done. Lemme box it up for you and this bad boy is ready to go.’

‘Amazin’, thank you so much,’ he grins. ‘Please, lemme do the washin’ up while you’re at it.’

‘Oh, Joel, you can’t,’ you protest, but he’s already grabbed the mixing bowl and all the bits and bobs stained with buttercream. ‘You’re the birthday boy!’

‘Least I can do,’ he shoots back over his shoulder, already halfway to the sink.

‘Well no, you promised to fix the security shutter for me, remember?’ you call after him.

‘Damn, I was hopin’ you’d forgotten about that.’

Joel cleans up with a practised air, humming under his breath as he waits for the water to heat up and the soap to lather. You watch him from the corner of your eye while you secure the cake inside the box, throwing in a birthday candle for good measure. You’ve just tied a nice ribbon around the cardboard box when he puts away everything in the drying rack and wipes his hands dry.

‘Didn’t expect you to be good at that,’ you tease, moving towards the door.

‘Sexist much?’ he jokes, no real bite in his retort. Then by way of explanation, he tells you, ‘I work late, so Sarah usually cooks and I wash up afterwards.’

‘Sounds like you guys make a good team.’

Joel helps with the lights and locks the door, and you stand to one side when he grabs the security shutter and forces it into submission by brute force. You can’t help but stare when the bottom of his tshirt rides up, revealing a soft sliver of belly underneath, his biceps bulging and back rippling as the shutter is finally forced shut in a metallic ripple.

You give him a smile. ‘Well, happy birthday, Joel.’

‘Thanks again for the cake.’ He looks around, as if looking for your car, but the sidewalk is empty except for his truck. ‘How are you gettin’ to your date?’

‘I was just gonna call a taxi.’

‘No, you ain’t,’ he nods towards his ride. ‘C’mon, I’ll give you a lift.’

‘Oh, no, it’s late, and you should be getting back to Sarah -’

‘I spoiled your date, so please, let me,’ he insists, holding the door open on the passenger side. Hop in.’

Joel takes the cake off your hands and puts it in the backseat carefully, putting the seat belt over it while you climb in. Glancing over your shoulder, you see toolboxes and newspapers on the floor, and it smells like paint and wood dust.

‘Sorry it’s a bit messy, occupational hazard,’ he apologises as he straps himself in. ‘So, where are we goin’?’

‘Do you know the steakhouse on Third Street?’

‘Vaguely,’ he replies, pulling smoothly away from the curb. ‘It sounds fancy.’

‘You been?’

‘Nope, I barely have time to go anywhere nowadays. It seems like I’m only ever in bed, or at work, or in my truck.’

You turn to smile at him, admiring the way his his thick fingers around the top of the steering wheel, making it look so small. ‘I feel you. Small business owner, am I right?’

‘I hear ya,’ he shoots you a smile. ‘So - what’s the deal with tonight? First date?’

‘Fourth, actually.’

He wriggles his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Fourth date? You know what happens on a fourth date, honey.’

‘I don’t, actually. Tell me, what happens on a fourth date?’

He blows out his cheeks, and admits, ‘Honestly, I can’t tell ya. I haven’t been on a fourth date since 1991.’

You burst into laughter at his unexpected answer. ‘You’re such a dork, Joel Miller.’

When the truck rumbles to a stop outside the steakhouse ten minutes later, he looks at his watch and announces, ‘Here we are, only fifteen minutes late.’ Squinting through the windshield, he points at a man smoking outside, an impatient frown on his face. ‘That him?’

‘Yeah, that’s him,’ you nod, but you stay put in your seat, in no hurry to make a move.

Joel nods, tapping his tidily trimmed nails on the steering wheel. ‘So I’ll swing ‘round tomorrow after work with my toolbelt? ‘Round six thirty?’

‘A toolbelt? What a sight to look forward to,’ you rib, slowly reaching for the seatbelt and unbuckling it.

‘Hell yeah, it’s got a special clip for my Nokia and all,’ he adds mischievously.

'You must fend off the ladies by the dozen,' you tease.

'Daily,' he answers without skipping a beat.

You probably shouldn’t have, especially not with the guy who you’re supposed to be on a date with glaring daggers at you through the windshield. But there’s something cackling in the air between you and this man you just met not an hour ago, and the way the streetlight filters through the window, backlighting his messy curls and scraggly beard, that has you throwing caution to the proverbial wind.

Impulsively, you lean across the gear shift, your left hand finding purchase on his knee before pressing your lips to the side of his whiskered jaw, your kiss fitting right into that little heart-shaped patch on his beard. 

You’re not sure who’s more taken aback, but you don’t have time to find out. 

‘Happy birthday, Joel Miller.’

He smiles after you as you hop out of his truck.

You’ve just sold your last cupcake of the day when the bell over the bakery door rings. And sure enough, it’s Joel Miller crossing the threshold, right on the dot at six thirty.

‘Hey, Bri,’ he waves, hovering half-in and half-out of the shop, a slight awkwardness having set in overnight.

But it's ok, you're happy to pick up where you left off. Putting your hands on your waist and a cheeky grin, you quip, ‘Wow, you weren’t kidding about that toolbelt, huh?’

Your chest swells as you watch him thaw with an easy smile, and he banters back, ‘I’m a man of my word, honey. You ok with me gettin’ to work now?’

‘Yes, thank you. I’ll be cleanin’ up back in the kitchen, I’ll join you when I’m done.’

Joel shoots you a thumbs up. ‘Great. I’ll grab the ladder and get right to it.’

When you emerge fifteen minutes later, he’s on the fourth rung of the ladder, tinkering the rolling mechanism with a screwdriver and a studious frown on his brow. He looks like he’s wearing the same thing as yesterday - you can believe that he’s a man who buys the same tshirt in bulk - and he smiles at you when you duck out of the shop.

‘Did Sarah like the cake?’ you ask in casual conversation.

‘She went nuts over the piñata surprise,’ he replies. ‘And the cake was delicious, there were hardly any crumbs left when we were done with it. She says we’re definitely ordering a cake from you for her birthday.’

‘I like the sound of that.’

‘How was your evening?’ he asks, glancing down at you from his perch. ‘Did you find out what happens on a fourth date?’

You let out a dry laugh. ‘Yeah, I did, actually. He dumped me.’

Joel freezes, a scowl darkening his countenance. ‘Oh shit, what? Why?’

You shrug, leaning your weight on the ladder as you look at the ground. ‘I mean, I did show up an hour late in some other guy’s truck. And I guess probably shouldn’t have kissed you on the cheek right in front of him.’

You startle when Joel’s fingers slip under your chin, tilting your head up towards him. ‘It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.’

‘Honestly, you don’t look that sorry, Joel Miller,’ you joke.

He cocks his head to one side. ‘Well, I can't lie, I think you deserve better than him.’

‘Do you now?’ you prompt. ‘Who do you have in mind?’

Joel peers at you from under long lashes with a half-smile that's almost shy. He dodges your question, and says instead, ‘I didn't mean to ruin your night, let me make it up to you, honey.’

‘How?’

Deftly, he climbs down the ladder, landing squarely on two booted feet, his presence comforting as he looms over you, his eyes warm. ‘Can I buy you dinner?’

‘Like - a date kind of dinner?’

‘Yeah, like a date,’ he nods.

You can’t help the dig. ‘And you were just sayin' you haven’t been on a date since...?’

He flashes you a smirk, and you shiver when his hand brushes your waist. ‘Since 1991. Tough sell, I know - but I thought I’d give it a shot.’

Running a finger along his sharp jawline, softened by the endearingly untidy beard, you have to bite your bottom lip to keep yourself from giving away too wide a grin. ‘Why, I think I have a good feelin’ about you, Joel Miller.’

Catching your wrist in his fingers, he presses a sweet kiss to your knuckles, the rough graze of his stubble chasing goosebumps across your skin as his eyes smile at you. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then, honey.’

More notes: I hope you enjoyed this sweet little oneshot 🥰 I really leaned into the fluff and I have no regrets. Comments/reblogs/asks are much appreciated as always! I don't have plans for a second part right now, but a smutty follow-up is always a possibility...

The adorable dividers are by @firefly-graphics 👩🏻‍🍳

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x fem!reader #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller imagine #no outbreak au #joel miller oneshot #the last of us oneshot #fuckyeahshorts

[loveinhawkins]

“Why are you wearing cologne?” Dustin asks after barely one second in the van.

“I’m not,” Eddie says, and promptly wants to die at how unconvincing that was. It’s not even technically a lie…

He makes it out of the school parking lot with Dustin saying jackshit, so for a little while, he thinks he’s gotten away with it.

More fool him.

Dustin abruptly lunges to the side, all up in his face like the world’s most dedicated sniffer dog.

“Ew, gross! Get off, man, I’m gonna crash,” Eddie says, even though they’ve been at a stop light for the past minute.

“Okay, correction,” Dustin says, drawing back. “Why are you wearing Steve’s cologne?”

Eddie stares into the middle distance, prays for The Upside Down to come and swallow him up.

An agonising silence.

“Oh my god,” Dustin whisper-screams. “Oh my god.”

“Look, just—”

“Oh my god!”

And yup, ow, that’s definitely become a full blown scream now, and double ow, Dustin has just socked him one in the arm.

“Hey!”

“What the fuck, Eddie?! How could you not—”

“Jesus! Take a damn chill pill, Henderson, I swear to—”

“Since when you do you say shit like—oh my God, Steve says shit like that. You can’t let him get to you like this, Eddie, you’re too young to die.”

“What does that even mean?”

Dustin keeps jiggling Eddie by the arm as he pulls up to Dustin’s house. Even when his stomach is jangling with nerves, he can’t fight a smile at the kid’s antics.

“Holy shit, this is big,” Dustin says with wide eyes, and it bothers Eddie that he can’t get a hold of what sort of expression is on his face. “This is huge.”

And all of a sudden, it doesn’t seem all that funny anymore.

“It’s not,” Eddie says quietly. “It’s really not. It doesn’t have to be, like… look, Dustin, can we just—if it bothers you, just drop it, and we can pretend like—”

“Wait, what? No.” And now Eddie can read the remorse on his face. “Shit, sorry. Eddie, I didn’t mean, like… big in a bad way, I swear.”

And goddamn it, Eddie trusts him. Of course he does.

“Okay.” He lets out a long sigh, tipping his head back in his seat. “Okay.”

“I just meant… like, you know The Royal Family? In England.”

…What.

“Oh, please, run with this analogy,” Eddie says, a mixture of curious and hysterical, “I’m dying to see where it goes.”

“You know, when they have news, they put it outside the… Palace? Like, on a stand. So people know.”

“Are you fucking implying that you are the public to our… wow, I’m so sorry, Henderson.” Eddie can’t take it anymore; he wheezes with laughter, can’t hide how relieved he sounds. “Next time I’ll ruin your front lawn and put a huge fucking sign there, then you’ll know that—”

“I didn’t mean it literally, asshole. I just…” Dustin shrugs. “Just meant if you wanted to, like… mention it. It would be cool. It is cool.”

“Cool,” Eddie echoes faintly.

“Cool,” Dustin repeats, emphatic.

Jesus Christ, I love you so much.

“Aw, Henderson,” Eddie says, “were you gonna make us a card or something?”

“Do you want a card?” Dustin says dryly.

And yeah, he’s being a little shit about it, but there’s also a note of sincerity hiding in there that has Eddie fighting a lump in his throat. He chuckles through it, flicks Dustin’s forehead.

“C’mon, get out before your mom thinks I’ve kidnapped you.”

“She thinks you’re an angel now, and you know it. It’s horrifying.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a Saint.”

Eddie waits until Dustin’s at his front door before reversing, watches him with silent fondness as he greets his cat.

He says through the side window, “Hey, Dustin?”

Dustin turns back. “Yeah?”

“We’d have told you first anyway. We were gonna, I swear.” Eddie scoffs. Smiles. “Not our fault you’re Sherlock Holmes, man.”

Dustin smirks, but his eyes are soft. “It was pretty elementary.”

#this is so silly. they are so silly. & i love them so #eddie and dustin #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #dustin henderson #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #henderfam

[thecreelhouse]

that goes for all y’all underage folks who think you’re slick without an age in the bio. instant block. don’t be stupid <3

#not to be like an old man who screams hey you kids get off my lawn all the time but like #get off my goddamn blog man this place ain’t for you

[bambiesfics]

𝐄. 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 ♥️’𝐬 𝐌*𝐥𝐟𝐬 ╰₊✧ ﾟ

Part Two — [FIND PART ONE HERE]

ˎˊ˗ SYNOPSIS: You’re a yummy, soft around the edges older lady, with a post-partum body that jiggles in the most delicious ways. Ellie simply can’t get ahold of herself, every time she sees you, her pupils turn into pretty pink hearts, and her clit thumps in rhythm with her beating heart.

ˎˊ˗ A/N: This is a re-upload of my series fic! Part one is already written. But this can be read as a stand-alone!

𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃. She was slammed with mental images of your puffy nipples, straining against that thin pink tank top, or the chubby crease of your ass, spilling out just past the hem of your denim shorts, how the back stitching was digging itself up into the crevice of your……

She shoved the heels of her palms into her eyes and bit her bottom lip hard. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth and teeth with a corrosive warmth. Her bottom lip was red, swollen and had teeth shaped impressions.

What the fuck was she doing here? What the actual fuck did she think she was doing sitting on the curb of the house right next to yours, like some teenage dirtbag? She rolled her eyes. Folding her boney knees up to her chest, to softly blow cold air on them.

It was the only thing that helped the pain, after the faint cuts and scrapes slashed across itched and burned. Each crusted over gash reminded Ellie of how stupid she looked tripping off her skateboard like some fucking peon, 2 hours earlier. And now she was here, decompressing on your goddamn doorway.

As she brushed some of the gravel off her shorts, she was assaulted with the violently embarrassing memories from the skate park. There was no way those assholes at the ramp were going to see her cry, but she wanted to, so bad. Her knees hurt like a motherfucker after she fucked up the landing on her wheelie, and she paid for it with a mouth full of dirt and knees slashed by rocks. Ellie would eat shit like a champ, every fucking time. No matter how bad it hurts.

She wasn’t a kid.

But she sure felt like one now that she was sitting here, ankles crossed and hugging her knees. Near your crib instead of back home, at hers, where she should’ve been. She wanted to tell herself it’s because yours was closer. But it wasn’t, she knew it wasn’t. And yet she was still comforted by the thought.

Her head swung in the direction of your home.

“Nother’ fucking neighbour.”

It was the 5th time it had happened in the past hour. Ellie was tired of cracking her neck to the side, trying to see which person opened their door to leave all for it to be fucking neighbour. And like the previous 4 times it had happened, it was typically some suburban asshole. Like a random dad taking out the trash in Birkenstocks. Likely a lazy fuck who waited for his wife to nag him to get it done. Or it was some brat taking their dog ‘Charlie’ or ‘Bella’ or fucking ‘Fido’ out to take a fat shit on the front lawn.

And again, not one of those people were you.

This is why Ellie’s hedonistic inclination to avoid addressing her feelings head on, but instead choosing to shroud them in convenient excuse after convenient excuse was ultimately, destructive. Because now, she was taking it out on random neighbors and you for ‘gatekeeping yourself’ away from her, while she waited. Probably doing some old lady shit right now like Pilates.

She groaned aloud.

‘Gatekeeping yourself’ isn’t even a fucking thing. Ellie was just in pain, hurt and angered; humiliated. She was mad, at no one in particular. But maybe, herself.

She wiped the fat tear that rested on the apple of her pink cheeks and blew air into her cupped palms. Blowing away the little bits of sediment and gravel that were still stuck there. She repeated the action on her knees, bracing the sharp sting.

She sniffled and leapt to her feet, ignoring the angry rage of pain in her knees, before she dropped the skateboard onto the gravel. Her foot slid on, ready to push off and just fuck off from this part of your neighborhood.

“Ellie!”

“Ellie!”

“Ellie is that you?”

Ellie stopped to stomp on the back of the deck and flip the board up into her hand. You were there peeking from behind the door, holding open the heavy wood with the side of your plush body. You sized her up as recognition bloomed on your face.

God is real.

If there was ever a time Ellie flirted with agnosticism, she was repenting for it while staring at you. Because at that very moment, God was real. Especially because Ellie knew she looked like a grimey piece of shit. She knew she was a runny, mascara-stained mess, with fucked up knees and fucked up posture. And yet you’re here. Supple, mature and womanly as ever looking at her like she’s some little doll. God, why were you waving her over? Stop. Stop crooking your finger like that, please, before she goons in her cargo shorts.

“H-hi I was just skating through the neighborhood and—.”

“Ellie, are you okay? How did that happen? You’re covered in cuts!”

“I’m fine, on god, I just..I…fucked up a trick. got a bunch of these stupid scrapes to show for it” She rubbed the back of her head, sheepish.

“Ellie, you should be more careful next time. Come ere.’”

Your sad pout made her stand straighter.

She wanted to fuck that pout off your face. Or maybe fuck it on your face. Like how sometimes, when girls are fuzzy brained during a painful but good pounding, they get this little look on their face. It’s all sad and pouty and shit.

What she would give for you to have that sad and pouty expression while she carved her cock in you. Choking out moans like…

“Ellie agh slow down!” or “Ellie m’ so full inside. You’re stretching me thin.” or better yet an “Ellie I’m so sore from last night. Be more careful next time..”

She could imagine the last one so vividly she nearly shuddered.

If it wasn’t obvious before, Ellie was a supreme pain slut.

She blinked the thoughts away, and brought her skateboard in front of her crotch. Not that she could get a boner, but it was reflexive at this point. Something she’d picked up from her friends when they would brick up everytime a pretty girl & her friends came to the park.

You closed the distance between you two and wrapped a hand around her fragile wrist to pulled her inside. Ushering her to the nearest kitchen stool to comfortably treat the painful

cuts and scrapes.

A little part of Ellie wondered if you would put your tits in her mouth for her to suckle on, if she whined hard enough for it. You were such a natural at being motherly, doting and worried. You were here in mid-day august, about to tend to some skaters girl’s dumb boo boos. While you probably had better things to do, like watch an episode of modern family, or prep dinner for your family.

She chuckled to herself. Then squeezed her thighs together. Slipping into a fantasy of you supporting her head, as she greedily nursed and suckled from you. Sucking out of each tit until both nipples grew shiny with her saliva and puffy from her greedy suction.

She blinked rapidly to pull herself from the fantasy, and deflated in the stool.

God, what a stupid fucking delusion.

She mewled in the base of her throat as you came back from the kitchen, with a first aid kit in tow. You settled between her knees, gripping the crook of one knee to gently dab pats of alcohol. She winced and grit her teeth, breathing through the fire of the sting. But her pink face and shiny eyes betrayed her weak facade, and your heart ached. Poor baby girl, all you could do was whisper earnest sorry’s in between each dab.

As you nearly finished bandaging the raw skin, you peered up at her, seeing the way her brows knitted up and how she trapped her bottom lip beneath her teeth. Maybe it was the innate motherly instinct, but you felt the urge to kiss the little forehead wrinkles away, and stroke her hair until she was less tense. Despite your nerves, you cleared your throat. “Ellie what were you really doing out there all alone, hmm?”

Her cheeks reddened like a hasbro toy truck. Flaming fucking red, like how Jesse loved to describe it.

“I was at the skatepark with some twink—guys… I usually shred with. But I got winded so I took a rest top…on your lawn.”

“A rest stop huh?” You teased.

The excuse sounded like cheap shit even to her own ears but it was the best thing she could come up with in the moment, with the way you looked so worried. She was just grateful you didn’t notice her about to call her bestfriend a twink. Ellie didn’t want a lecture about bigotry from you, because judging by how clueless you’d been when it came to her attraction to you. That guaranteed you were also clueless about her being a raging dyke.

Ellie whistled “So uh..where’s your kid?”

“At grandma’s.”

Vague. She thought.

“My mother said she’d been wanting to babysit for a while now. So I decided to give myself a little time alone to enjoy the time being, I suppose.”

“I suppose?” God you were a

relic. No one born after the 2000’s speaks like that.

She mused.

“Ah, that’s so hot.” Ellie muttered, seconds before realization hit her and a deeper blush bloomed wildfire on her face. It was becoming increasingly humiliating to speak to older adults like they were her little fruitcake punk friends. You were a proper woman, not a scumbag. Ellie knew her lexicon needed a significant change if she hoped you’d ever take her seriously.

You laughed at her silliness, and patted her knee before walking away to store the first aid kit back in the kitchen. With each resounding thud of your footsteps

Ellie couldn’t help but drink in the way the ripple of your robe outlined your ass. The way the milky, thin fabric practically outlined the dark line that split both globes right in the…

She put her knuckle between her teeth and bit down. God she needed to leave.

You looked back to smile at her. But she was doing it again, not meeting your eyes. Matter of fact her gaze was somewhere else, and your stomach flipped because of it. Her bangs were curled beautifully around her face, and her lips were parted open, she wheezed each breath.

You reached up into the cabinet, to gently place the kit back, and dropped back onto the balls of your feet. Your buttcheeks jiggled with the drop. And you saw her bury a cough into her hand from your peripheral vision. Ellie crossed her ankles together and clamped them there.

Picking up the tray of ginger snap cookies you’d laid out for guests, you walked back towards her. Holding them out for her to take home. Ellie didn’t meet your eyes. Or your face. She pointedly looked at the letter magnets on the fridge.

She blinked rapidly. “Can I just…can I just use your bathroom really quick?”

“Yeah of course, it’s just up those stairs behind you. First door on your left.”

Ellie gave a wobbly attempt at a smile and scrambled off the seat. She stomped two steps at a time up the stairs, a habit she formed when she was a younger teen, she couldn’t break.

She flicked the lights on and took note of the spa-like ambience in your bathroom. The soft shell coloring and warm lighting. The bathroom smelled like you, like your clothes whenever she got real close to you.

She also wondered if you smelled like that down there too. If the scent of your body wash lingered on the inner lips of your vulva. If she split the lips apart, would she get hit with a whiff of your natural musk? Or the floral scent of peonies? She really needed to know.

She also knew she was a pervert.

But she couldn’t help it, you don’t even know how desirable you are, and you weren’t even trying. You were some sweet milf in an average ass fuck suburban neighbourhood, who was making a teen girl go fucking balls-to-the-walls insane to breed you.

Locking the bathroom door, Ellie shoved her low rise cargo shorts and boxers down her hips and dipped two fingers to play in her wetness. She shoved her right finger into her mouth to stimulate the prod of a nipple into her mouth as she ghosted a hesitant left finger over the supple skin of her pussy lips. Teasing the pleasure she was about to feel once she just split them open and rubbed the bundled nub. She sucked a whistling breath through her teeth and tipped her head back against the wall. It lolled to the side.

That’s when she saw it.

Lacy, bunched up, and barely enough fabric to even floss teeth with, was the lavender thong you left neglected in the corner of the bathroom floor. Probably from the shower you freshly took before you met her outside.

She shouldn’t.

She shouldn’t.

But fuck, she did.

Ellie scrambled for your underwear and pulled it apart. Searching for the spot she wanted most. The light reflected against the gentle shininess in the crotch, and she ran the pads of her fingers gently against the crotch, feeling the clear stickiness still left over from earlier.

Stuffing it against her nose she did the very thing that would probably get her put on some type of sex offender registry if you ever found out.

Ellie took a big sniff, and then another, and then another, and then several more until she was high on your scent. The sound in the bathroom was disgustingly wet as Ellie rubbed and slapped her clit over and over. Inching her fingers down to her hole to shallowly thrust and collect some slick before dragging them up again to add slipperiness along her slit. Confined within the walls of your small bathroom were the wet and messy sounds of a girl, getting herself off to your scent. And it confirmed her hopes, this was all your own scent, natural and musky.

Your underwear was permanently pressed up against her caramel freckled nose as she inhaled. She picked up her pace, going from rubbing over her wet clit to tapping and lightly pinching it.

Ellie was a pain slut.

Ellie kept up her feverish actions. And let the degenerate fantasy of rimming your asshole, licking the sweat off of the hole, on her knees, while you prepared some mid-day snacks, tip her gaping pussy hole to orgasm.

“Mommy play with me.” she whimpered pathetically.

God she was twisted.

She came all over her inner thighs. And pearlescent cum rolled down in droplets towards the porcelain of your toilet.

Using your toilet paper, she hastily cleaned herself and pulled her boxers back up.

The mental debate didn’t last any longer than 5 seconds before she shoved your panties into her back pocket and washed her hands. There was no point in her entertaining otherwise, she knew she was a degenerate.

Ellie ran straight down the stairs, the acrid feel of humiliation scratching up the back of her throat and making her head hot. She selfishly snatched a cookie off the flower dessert tray and kicked her deck into her hand.

“Ellie! Wait I got you a snack to take ho-“

She ran out the door and slammed the door aggressively. The glass pane in the window of the door shook for several seconds.

She was erratic.

But then the same door burst open again, and the antsy brunette ran back inside, stomped towards you and smashed her lips against yours. Slotting her lips inside yours and sucking your bottom lip into her mouth. Her hands came up nervously to grip the fat of your ass. Letting some spill between her spindly fingers. Massaging it.

Ellie kissed like a horny boy. When she pulled back, you wobbled into her. She caught you around the waist and let your heaving chests sync together.

But as if she gained sudden consciousness, an awareness of what the fuck she was doing, her eyes expanded wide, and her back went ramrod straight.

She took several steps back and ushered out “Why did I just fucking?—Oh God.”

She ran. She ran so fucking fast she forget she even had the skateboard in her hand. And pounded canvas sneaker to gravel all the way home.

Ellie didn’t know what type of disorder she developed that made her mind blank out, sexually assaulting hot milfs because she couldn’t mitigate a crush on a woman to save her life. But she needed to google a local psychiatrist's office and see how long the waitlist was.

Your mental state on the other hand? Yeah you were left speechless by the brash behavior of the little tomboy. Her aggression, perverted looks and obviously inappropriate feelings towards you left you breathless and reeling.

It could’ve been because it was technically legal, that Ellie thought it appropriate to attempt that sudden kiss. But that clearly didn’t mean it was a sound decision to encourage any kind of relationship. Jesus, did the girl think she was in a porno or something? That you were going to invite her upstairs and screw her brains out, hide her in the closet when your “husband” came back home too early?

There were a million and one thoughts going through your head. Yet every time you tried to plan an appropriate way to address what had happened, your mind was drawing nothing but blanks. And it followed you like that, all the way into the evening. Long after Ellie had ran out, long after you’d said goodnight to your toddler on the phone. And long after the sun had set, after the street lights turned on.

In the thick of the night, you shoved your favorite mini bullet deep until it was snuggled between your sticky pussy lips, warmed by the hug. You’d been vigorously searching for porn videos like “brunette x milf lesbian porn.” And “younger girl x milf lesbian porn.”

The vibrator buzzed on top of your clit, slinging pleasure up your spine while you humped against it. You rolled a chubby nipple between your fingers, and pulled at your tit so hard your nipple ached painfully.

“Nnngnnh” you had to squeeze your hole over and over.

You shakily clicked on a video, a bedroom scene where the babysitter pervertedly creeped on the mother as she undressed, and got off to it. You had an urge to cry, mounted by pleasure. You moaned a sob “Ell-lie.”

A rivulet of drool slipped out from your gaping lips and pooled at the sheets. You watched the brunette pervert turn the milf into a begging slut, pleading to not be fucked like a little whore. And the young one fucked her agressively anyway. Your head was fuzzy. You’d never been so turned on by a video.

You replaced the face of every scene with the brunette with the face of Ellie. With her freckles, plump lips and her tattooed arm.

You just closed your eyes and let the video tip you to a full body orgasm. Your hole was gaping and sucking in air, contracting around nothing for most of the night. Hungry to have some sweaty little girl plug them up with her tongue, or her fingers. For her to stretch the skin there around something, until it was thin. You slept the whole night as your hole gulped in air in search of something to plug it with.

You were going to find that little runt. Drag her back there and have a conversation with her about forcing a kiss on older women, then leaving her to deal with it in a puddle of their own slick.

-fin-

Requested Taglist: @elliewilliamsgf69 , @thesevi0lentdelights , @aouiaa , @endureher , @dangthatsareallyreallylongname5 , @elsbbg , @emilieebabyy , @seattlesellie , @coeurify , @elliesflower

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #the last of us x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou2 #the last of us smut #tlou x reader #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #ellie tlou #the last of us #tlou2 #ellie x you #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #tlou #ellie

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Becoming the Breadwinner

David has been a real pain since he turned 18. The kid refuses to get a job, skips school, and spends his time playing video games on the couch. The only effort he puts into anything is girls, and even that he quickly loses interest in.

I love my little brother, but I expect more from him than that. When our parents stepped out of the picture, I was the big brother who stepped up. I dropped out of highschool and got a full time gig at a garage. It was grueling work, but I always put in overtime to make sure David could finish school and play basketball.

Now my lazy brother rarely does either of those things.

"David, did you really just sit on the couch all day," my voice rises as I get home from a long day, "You had chores to do around here."

"I'll get to them tomorrow," he mumbles, staring at the screen.

"Are you kidding me right now?" I stomp over to the TV and turn it off.

"What the hell, bro!" he snaps, "Turn it on."

"No TV until you mow the goddamn lawn!" I roar.

"Lay off me, dad." he scoffs sarcastically, "You used to be fun, bro."

"Oh, am I not fun anymore? Sorry, I don't enjoy putting in 7 days of work a week so you can bum around all day!"

"Whatever, bro," he resigns. I can already tell I'm not going to win. He's already staring at his phone, and there's no way in hell David is picking himself off of this couch tonight.

"I didn't want to resort to this," I explain, "But I don't have a choice, do I? You're going to take on more responsibility from now on, and your going to like it," I say firmly.

"Shut up, bro," he rolls his eyes at me.

"No, you shut it! I'm tired of paying for our house, our food, our lives while you refuse to appreciate any of it! It's my turn to be lazy!"

"Your nuts, bro," David groans, but he shifts in his seat, suddenly growing uncomfortable in his own skin.

"Maybe I am, but you can feel it happening, right?"

"What's happening, bro?" my little brother laughs, but his smile lines deepen as the skin on his face becomes more tired and loose.

The kid's shoulders broaden beneath his t-shirt and his legs lengthen as he fidgets awkwardly on the couch. Then his skin roughens before it looks like it's almost inflating. A small layer of pudge fills out his cheeks and then his neck. His entire torso thickens as his metabolism weakens. David's previously flat stomach grows into a paunchy belly that his now heavy pecs can finally rest on.

"What's happening?" David cries, but his voice cracks and the second word is said several octaves lower than normal.

"It's your turn to play dad," is all I say.

"What?" the deep voice in his throat whimpers, as a thick patch of wiry hair bud around his jaw and neck.

"And I'm tired of our lack of finances" I add, ignoring the desperate look on my brother's rapidly aging face, "You work at the bank. Don't you, dad?"

"I'm not dad!" he says firmly, but between his deeply commanding voice and matured body, it was hard to see him as anything else.

His t-shirt eventually transforms into a collared button up as a wide tie rolls down from his thick neck. A heavy brown belt appears beneath his gut, tightly tucking his slacks into his soft body.

David holds a hand to his creased forehead and groans, "Bro, what's going on?"

"Bro?" I laugh emphatically, "Why are you calling me bro, dad?"

David pauses and then let's out an amused chuckle, "I don't know, son. It was a long day at the bank."

"You're such a weirdo, old man," I add, taking on the bratty tone David had previously been using with me.

My new dad let's out an exaggerated groan as he pulls himself off the couch, "Why are you dressed like a grease monkey, son? You finally get a job?"

I glance down at the worn blue clothes that make up my mechanic uniform. I won't be needing these anymore.

"Nah, dad," I laugh, "I thrifted these. They're vintage."

David let's out a chuckle, "You kids are something else. I'll start on dinner. Chicken sound good for tonight?"

"Whatever," I answer heading for the gaming console in David's old room, "I'm gonna play some videogames. Just let me know when the food's ready."

"Sure thing, pal," my new dad feighns a smile as he steps into the kitchen.

I spent the rest of the night relaxing in David's old room while my father cooked dinner before going straight to bed. He had to be up early to shower and shave before heading to the bank.

Meanwhile, I called the garage and quit. David would be taking care of us for a while. It was his turn to bring in the income, and it was my turn to coast off of his long hours.

#gay hypnosis #hypno story #mind control #male transformation #transformation story

[katyawriteswhump]

a deep and dreamless love (steddie love month, day 11)

For @steddielovemonth, day 11. 'Love is saving the last bite for them,' from (@acasualcrossfade) Thank you <3

Rating: M  WC: 1,630 CW: blood drinking and mild horror. Tags: Vampire au, vampire Eddie, angst and whump with fluffy softness!

…

“You sure you can make it home all right?” Robin climbed out of Steve’s car and paused at the driver’s window. “It’s awfully dark already.”

“It’s cloudy, Robin! Cloudy daylight fries vampires as good as any July scorcher. Now get inside. Before you have to run and fall on your face.”

“Low blow, Dingus.” She curled her lip, muffled her overlong woolly scarf tight beneath her chin. “You know you can always crash h—"

“Robin! If you don’t quit yammering, we’ll BOTH end up as vamp juice-boxes.”

“If we’re gonna play that game, Shit-bird, don’t catch sight of your stupid hair in the rear-view mirror and start fiddling. Don’t wanna find your shrivelled body with my mail.”

“Hilarious. Get inside. Please?”

Steve waited to check she was safe indoors before driving off. He felt bad for being extra cranky, because she was right. He was running late. Their boss had made them stay for extra cleaning at the store, and thick clouds brooded low across an already darkening sky. However, crashing with Robin wasn’t an option.

She was safe now.

Eddie needed him more.

He drove fast, burning rubber round the corners. Nobody enforced speeding laws in Hawkins these days, not this close to sundown. He was halfway home, when the engine spluttered. Then clonked. He hit the break, thrashed at the gearbox. The BMW choked pathetically and conked out completely.

“No.” Steve flicked the ignition key. Nothing. “You gotta be kidding.”

He jumped out, opened the hood. Oil, water. Is the battery disconnected? He could hardly see in the dim light, plus he’d little faith in his basic car maintenance skills. 

Especially with his damn stupid hands shaking. 

He slammed down the lid, sprinted the hundred yards back to the nearest phone booth. He fumbled a coin into the slot and dialled.

It rang. Once, twice, three times, four times. Steve pushed sweaty hair from his eyes. “C’mon, Eddie, pick up! I really don’t wanna die, 'cos you’re moshing to Van Halen.”

The rings finally cut off: “Munson Mansion.”

“What took you?” Now Steve spoke, he realised he was practically hyperventilating.  “I’m in serious shit. My car broke down.”

“Dammit, it’s dark already? Shiiiiit! Must’ve overslept. Okay, calm down.” Eddie sounded, if anything, even less calm than Steve. “Where are you?”

“C-corner of Mason and Sherman.”

“Hold tight, Sweetheart. I’m a comin’.”

Steve pulled the collar of his jacket up—redoubling the defences of the scarf he’d worn all day—and started swiftly back toward the car. The shadows of night slinked across the grey front lawns, swallowing up broken picket fences. 

Then swallowing up Steve. 

He considered running up a driveway, hammering on somebody’s door—a better option than hunkering down in the car, though only if someone let him in.

Too late.

A tall figure in a hoodie appeared as if from nowhere, and blocked Steve’s path. The vampire’s toothy grin flashed in the chilly twilight.

“It’s rude to sneak up on people." Steve squared his shoulders, battling to keep his voice low and steady. “You hear me, knucklehead?”

He reached into his jacket, gripping the wooden stake he always carried. Before he could line up any kind of aim, the vamp was on him, knocking the stake from his hand. He grabbed Steve by the front of his shirt, lifting him clean off the ground. Goddamn vampire super-strength! Steve kicked the bloodsucker on his leg. Hard. Son-of-a-bitch didn’t even lose his grip.

“Payback time, Harrington.”

“What the—”

Steve attempted a punch, which fell short. He then registered the face behind the leering fangs. It was a football player, who’d graduated a couple of years before Steve.

“Chad Lloyd? Seriously? You’re not still pissed about—”

“You kissed my girlfriend, douchebag.”

“I was lifeguarding! I had no idea she was fake drowning till she shoved her tongue into my mouth. Gimme a break.”

Chad beamed, cheesier than ever. “Oh, I’m gonna break you, Harrington. Before or after I drink you dry.”

“Look, if you wanna keep a date, you really need to work on your one lin—”

He hurled Steve to the ground. Steve landed with a bruising, stunning thud. Then the vamp was upon him, rolling him over, ripping off his scarf and pulling down his collar. Steve kicked and struggled, though he’d almost no hope of escape.

“Hey, what’s this?” Chad tore away the neat dressing tucked under the side of Steve’s chin. “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised that slutty Steve Harrington is someone’s sloppy seconds.”

No. Not there! Nobody else drinks from there!

He rammed his knee up into the vamp’s happy-sacks. Then shoved the tender side of his wrist—and that throbbing latticework of veins—right in the sucker’s face.

Chad snarled, grabbed Steve’s arm, hoisted the whole of Steve upright with it. His freshly erupted fangs ripped deep into Steve’s wrist, and he chugged greedily.

Steve’s vision spotted. The usual woolly, sicky feeling swelled in his guts, fogged his brain. He slumped, helpless and terrified, against the vampire. Who just kept drinking.

Okay… I screwed up… Screwed up bad... I always tried so damn hard to save myself for you... Miss you already, Babe… Oh, Jesus!

He was unsure if he heard the distant roar of a motorcycle engine. Could’ve been the fading thunder of his own blood. Then the whoosh of a crossbow bolt gashed into his waning consciousness. Once more, the sidewalk flew up to meet him. He’d a vague notion that the vamp fell too, smacking down beside him.

Eddie’s worried face filled his vision. His heart squeezed sluggishly, aching with love, and the world disintegrated to nothingness.

…

“Steve? C’mon. Wake up. Please wake up.”

Steve’s eyes fluttered open. “Huh?”

“You’re back!” Eddie squeezed him tight. “You scared the crap outta me.”

This was nice. He’d never object to waking up in bed with his naked boyfriend, and half-naked himself. Apart from…  Actually, not feeling so awesome.

Unsettling memories trickled back.

“How you doing?” asked Eddie. “That bastard drank waaaaay too—”

“M’fine.”

To be truthful, the whole right side of his body felt like it’d been slammed by a truck. He lifted his bandaged arm to drape around Eddie’s shoulders and struggled to disguise the effort. 

“Nothing the usual routine won’t fix.” He smirked. “You know, water, spinach, lentils. Gourmet steak dinner with red wine.”

Eddie planted a sizzling kiss on Steve’s cool, sticky brow. “Only wish we could afford that for you, Sweetheart.”

“I’ll take sex for dessert. Plus we don’t have to pay for your food.”

Steve’s fingers had barely touched the fresh bandaging on his throat, before Eddie snatched them, kissed them, tucked them away again.  “You’ve lost too much already.”

“But—”

“I can go a night without feeding, Baby.”

“If you skip dinner, you’ll be grouchy and pathetic in the morning.” 

What Steve really wanted was to wrestle Eddie into submission. He’d tease and goad him into unleashing that vampire super-strength, grappling till Steve was the one pinned to the mattress and then...

Annoyingly, Steve was too feeble to even try and sit, so he sneered. “What happens if I’m dumb enough to get jumped again tomorrow? Or Robin, or Dustin, or any of the kids? As much as I hate to admit it, they need a tame vamp looking out for them, way more than they need me these days”

“Answers still ‘no way in Hell.’ Which I’m heading to for sure, but at least the music will be—”

“Don’t change the subject. Look, I nearly got my arm torn off offering that moron my wrist. All to save the best bite for you.”

Eddie stroked Steve’s hair. “Emotional blackmail ain’t gonna work tonight.”

Good job I’ve learned to play dirty.

This time, Steve ripped the dressing from his neck before Eddie could stop him, revealing the twin fang marks Eddie left last night.

And every night.

“What? Why!?! Don’t want…” Eddie flinched away. “I don’t like this, Stevie.” 

Steve snaked his good arm up, threaded his fingers through Eddie’s lush tresses. He tugged Eddie down toward his throat.

As if on cue, a drop of hot blood trickled from the barely healed punctures. A groan shook through Eddie. He clamped onto Steve’s lifeblood, incisors piercing deep.

Steve bit his lip against a keening, desolate cry. Love didn’t only suck—it stung like a bitch, and the tide of Eddie’s hair smothered him. Still, the slip of Eddie’s tongue against his blood-slickened skin always flipped him out, in a not-entirely-bad way. From the corner of his eye, he strained to catch glimpses of Eddie drinking.

Gnnng! Too damn hot.

Soon, little stuttering gasps escaped him, as he teetered on a knife-edge. Damn, if Steve wasn’t already so shattered, so woozy, he’d be so up for sex after this…

…until he wasn’t. It hurt too much.

Eddie ripped himself free, jumped from the bed, and was  gone.

Steve lay there, trembling violently, his blurry vision further misted with tears. Completely at Eddie’s mercy. 

I’m safe. I'm safe.

Soon after he grew too weak to keep his eyes open, he sensed the skitter of featherlight fingertips. Eddie had returned to bandage him up again. Then Eddie gathered him into his arms and roused him with a tender kiss.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” mumbled Steve, lips moistened with his own blood.

“Holy shit, Stevie.” Eddie stuck out his tongue, kinda silly. His eyes shone with fear. “I’m a vampire. A goddamn evil, blood-sucking predator. One day, I might not be able to stop.”

“That’s bull.” No evil could overcome a nature as sweet and soft as yours. “I trust you.” I trust our love. Steve nuzzled into his favourite tattooed parts of Eddie’s chest.

I’ll save the last bite for you. Always.

He slipped away, warm and cherished in Eddie’s arms, and into a deep and dreamless sleep.

...

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3.)

#steddielovemonth #steddie fanfiction #steddie #steve harrington whump #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steddie fanfic #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #eddie x steve #steddie ficlet #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things

[saint-batrick]

I HAD A CORE MEMORY UNLOCKED AND I GOT QUESTIONS FOR YOU GODDAMN KIDS WHAT ARE ALWAYS ON MY LAWN.

(in the off chance this goes far beyond my usual tumblr reach - hi, i'm in my 40s.)

so my friend posted this. i commented about how sometimes, you'd fuck up and answer a question wrong and give info you weren't meant to give, and get your friend in trouble. which sucked for everyone and always made you feel awful.

so, the core memory unlocked was standing out front of my house in high school aggressively whispering to whichever new friend was about to come inside with me the short list of things my mom DID NOT KNOW and WAS NEVER TO KNOW. i got similar lectures from friends shortly before entering their homes for the first time.

kids (what need to get off my damn lawn already - but seriously, if you're in your 20s or younger, you count as "kids" for this), do y'all still do this - specifically the "oh shit, you're about to walk into my house and i forgot to tell you What Not To Say" consultation? or like...do y'all do it via text, or what? i'm An Old and it occurs to me that i just have no goddamn idea.

and i am curious.

[latristereina]

INT. MICHAEL'S HOUSE - DAY

HAGEN

Kay?

He steps in, the beautiful summer living room is neat, but empty.

HAGEN

Anyone hungry?

He moves through the house more quickly; into the dining and recreation room areas. A cat jumps off a pile of cushions and runs across the room.

HAGEN

Hello?

SANDRA (O.S.)

She's gone, Tom.

Sandra has followed him into Michael's house.

HAGEN

What do you mean gone?

SANDRA

The Barretts from Rubicon Bay came by in a new speedboat. Rocco tried to say she wasn't in, but Kay spotted them and asked if they would take her and the kids for a ride. That was three hours ago.

HAGEN

(furious)

Why didn't someone tell me!

SANDRA

I wanted to tell you alone; your

wife doesn't know what's goinng on.

Hagen rushes out of the house.

EXT. TAHOE LAWN - DAY

Hagen moves quickly out of Michael's house; moving across the lawn to the boathouse.

HAGEN'S SON

Hey, Dad!

This time he ignores the thrown ball, and moves directly to Rocco, who is by some men near the boathouse.

HAGEN

Rocco!

ROCCO

I know. I went down to the Barrett

house. But she's gone. They drove her and the kids to North Tahoe airport.

HAGEN

Goddamn it, where were you?

ROCCO

I was in my house. Willy tried, but it would have taken some strong-arm to stop her, and he figured you wouldn't want that.

INT. THE BOATHOUSE - DAY

They enter the boathouse.

HAGEN

(to one of the men)

Get me a Scotch and water. The man hurries behind the bar.

ROCCO

She took a flight to San Francisco. We figure she's going to connect to New Hampshire; her parents' place.

HAGEN

(almost to himself)

I can't let him down.

He swallows the drink down in several gulps. And then looks up to his men watching him. He's embarrassed to have shown such weakness.

HAGEN

All right, let me think a minute. Rocco clears the men out.

ROCCO

Me too, Tom?

HAGEN

Yeah, give me a minute.

Rocco gone, Hagen moves behind the enormous bar, and pours himself a giant drink. He drinks that, and calms himself.

HAGEN

Oh Christ, Pop. It was so good when you were alive. I felt I could handle anything...

INT. MICHAEL'S SUITE - NIGHT

The telephone has just rung; Michael listens.

OPERATOR

We have your call to Tahoe, Nevada, sir.

MICHAEL

Thank you.

(click, click)

Tom? Tom, is that you?

ROCCO (O.S.)

No, Tom's out of town. This is Rocco. Who is this?

Michael is openly disturbed that Hagen is not there. He hangs up without answering.

EXT. NEW ENGLAND HOUSE - DAY

Tom Hagen steps out of a taxicab a bit tentatively, and then steps toward the door of a pleasant New England house. He rings the bell and waits, hat in hand. A moment later, the door opens, and Kay is standing there.

KAY

I'm not surprised to see you, Tom.

INT. SMALL ROOM - NEW ENGLAND HOUSE - MED. VIEW - DAY

Out to the yard, where we can see glimpses of little Anthony playing by himself.

KAY (O.S.)

I can't love a man like that; I can't live with him, I can't let him be father to my children. Look.

The little boy, moodily by himself.

VIEW ON KAY

obviously moved.

VIEW ON HAGEN

KAY

He's not like a little boy... he doesn't talk to me; he doesn't want to play; he doesn't like other children, he doesn't like toys.

It's as though he's waiting for the time he can take his Father's place.

(almost in tears)

You know what he told me when he was four years old. He said he had killed his Grandfather...

VIEW ON HAGEN

listening, calmly.

VIEW ON KAY

KAY

... He said he had shot his Grandfather with a gun, and then he died in the garden. And he asked me... he asked me, Tom, if that meant now his father would shoot

him out of... revenge.

(she cries)

How does a four year old boy learn the word... 'revenge'?

HAGEN

Kay... Kay...

KAY

What kind of a family is this... are we human beings? He knows his Father killed his Uncle Carlo. He heard Connie.

HAGEN

You don't know that's true. But Kay, just for the sake of an argument, let's assume it is, I'm not saying it is, remember, but...

What if I gave you what might be some justification for what he did... or rather some possible justification for what he possibly did.

KAY

That's the first time I've seen the lawyer side of you, Tom. It's not your best side.

HAGEN

Okay, just hear me out. What if Carlo had been paid to help get Sonny killed? What if his beating of Connie that time was a deliberate plot to get Sonny out into the open? Then what? And what if the Don, a

great man, couldn't bring himself to do what he had to do, avenge his son's death by killing his daughter's husband? What if that, finally, was too much for him, and he made Michael his successor, knowing that Michael would take that load off his shoulders, would take that guilt?

KAY

He's not the same as when I met him.

HAGEN

If he were, he'd be dead by noww. You'd be a widow. You'd have no problem.

KAY

What the hell does that mean? Come on, Tom, speak out straight once in your life. I know Michael can't, but you're not Sicilian, you can tell a woman the truth; you can

treat her like an equal, a fellow human being.

There is a long silence.

Then Hagen shakes his head; he can tell her no more.

HAGEN

If you told Michael what I've told

you today, I'm a dead man.

KAY

When is it finally over? I want it

to be over before my baby is born.

HAGEN

I don't know. I hope soon; but it's not over yet, and that's why you and the kids have to come back to me.

He looks at her; it's clear that he has been entrusted with her safety and her children's.

He is a kind, good man, and seems very nervous and overwrought.

VIEW ON THE WINDOW

Little Anthony is pressing his face against the glass pane, as though he senses the adults are discussing something of importance to him.

- THE GODFATHER Part Two, Screenplay by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola, SECOND DRAFT, September 24, 1973

#the godfather #the godfather ii #kay adams #kay corleone #tom hagen #michael corleone #diane keaton #robert duvall #al pacino

[rehfan]

La Belle Dame avec Merci -- Chapter 6: The Dance

Eddie Munson x Unpopular!AFAB!fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ readers only please - minor children DNI! – No Upsidedown; reader is technically a virgin; mutual pining; Eddie has trust issues; emotional hurt/comfort; female masturbation; male masturbation; emotional manipulation; reader is kinda shitty to Eddie; reader gets better; angst; more angst; Eddie’s mom is dead; small act of accidental physical violence; Uncle Wayne is the best 

Tagged: @bluestuesday / @ali-r3n / @winchester-angel / @iletmytittiestitty-russ / @mewchiili / @chaoticgood-munson / @welcometohellsock /

DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER SITE. My words are mine and mine alone.

Inspired by @/hard-candy-writing ‘s ORIGINAL POST

MASTERPOST LINK – AO3 LINK

********************************

Saturday arrived unceremoniously despite being the day of the Sadie Hawkins dance. The dance Eddie wasn’t taking you to. You awoke to a pair of parents on a cleaning frenzy. They roped you in quickly, handing you the paper towels and the window cleaner and assigning you every interior flat glass surface throughout your three bedroom split level ranch home. “Don’t forget the sills!” your mother shouted over the disco music she had put on to motivate the three of you. She was handling the kitchen. Dad was getting the lawnmower ready to tackle the front yard for one of the last times before winter truly settled in. As you cleaned the large sliding glass doors that led to the back porch, you could hear him cursing while trying to attach the bagger for the leaves and clippings. You wondered if he would appreciate Eddie’s help. 

As soon as the thought hit you, you shook it off. Nope. He was not going to invade your thoughts. Certainly not on a domestic level. He probably had no idea how to cook or clean anyway, never mind now a lawn. But then, he might? You knew so little about him it was shameful.

And then again, you weren’t his actual girlfriend. You two had never had a proper date, no opportunity to know one another. As you wiped at the windows in your parent’s bedroom, your mind drifted to what a date with Eddie would be like. Certainly, he’d take you someplace for dinner. Maybe pizza. Maybe takeout Chinese? Neither one of you can afford Enzo’s. And the conversation? Where would you begin? Music, probably. Cosmo. Teachers. Family. Hopes for the future.

And when all was done? Where would you go? Where could you go in Hawkins? Lover’s Lake. The quarry. Skull rock. You’d heard all of these places were used as rendezvous points for the kids at Hawkins High, but you’d never been. Skull rock sounded ominous. Lover’s lake was a bit too on the nose and too cheesy for you. But the quarry? A little dangerous, a little unexpected for one of your puritanical reputation. Yes. That was the one.

Maybe tonight you’d take a drive out that way instead of going to the dance. 

Your mother called you out of your daydreams. Apparently the carpet in your bedroom wasn’t going to vacuum itself.

~080~

Early visits to the car part store and the hardware store filled Eddie’s Saturday morning. Though he was standing there between Wayne and Rocco, the auto parts guy, discussing the proper time to be adding antifreeze to Wayne’s truck and Eddie’s van, Eddie couldn’t help but feel his mind wander to you. Did you have any antifreeze for the winter? Did you need any? Maybe your dad took care of that stuff for you. 

“Fuck,” Eddie muttered. 

“Something wrong, Ed?” asked his uncle, both men paused in their conversation at Eddie’s curse.

“Hm? No. Sorry. Just think I forgot my smokes. I’ll just check the car, yeah? You good, unc?”

“Yeah, son. I’ll just be a minute.”

Eddie took a deep breath when he got to Wayne’s truck. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking about you. But give his brain less than one thing to concentrate on at a time and goddamn it - off it went, thinking of you like it did just the night before. 

It was shame that had him up so early that morning. The shame of waking up in that empty bed still smelling like sweat and his own spunk. He needed to fuck you out of his system. And then there was the shame of jerking off to you - again! The only thing for it was a scrub in a hot shower…which of course meant he was rubbing another one out while trying not to call out your name. 

He leaned heavily against the truck, gulping down air like a fish out of water. Shaky hands brought out a half-crumpled soft pack from his inner pocket. He shook out the end of one of the cancer sticks and with what used to be smooth and practiced motions, mouthed the end of one, stuffed the pack back, and brought out his lighter. Today it took him three tries to get the cig from the pack into his dry mouth and four attempts to get a flame to come from his cheap plastic Bic.

He was three draws in again when he felt steady enough to swear. Two more and his hands weren’t as shaky.

“Ready to go?” Wayne asked.

Eddie stubbed out the cig and nodded. He got in the truck and Wayne settled the plastic bag of spark plugs in Eddie’s lap to hold. “You want to tell me what that was all about?”

“What?”

“Look, Ed, I’m not here to be nosy, but I like to think you’d come to me if there was something going on. I mean —, “ here he gazed at his nephew as the engine roared to life, “I worry about you. That’s all.”

“It’s nothing,” Eddie said. 

Wayne reversed the truck and backed out of the space, eyes moving between mirrors and out the back window. Shifting to drive, he pulled to the exit and waited for traffic to open up. He wasn’t looking at his nephew when he said, “Your mom on your mind?”

“Huh? No. Not really.”

“Because you get this way when you—“

“It’s not her, okay?”

“Okay.”

The truck moved smoothly into the street and headed in the direction of the hardware store. It was off Main Street in downtown Hawkins and Eddie liked it there. Something about buckets and buckets of bolts, screws, nuts, and washers all in their proper places made his brain buzz pleasantly with a calm joy. He really liked the smell there too: fresh cut wood and paint supplies. Which reminded him:

“I need some acrylics for some models,” he said. “Do you think they’d carry some?”

“We can ask, but don’t you normally scrounge that stuff from school?”

“Yeah, but the art teachers can only give me so much,” he said, shrugging. “If they don’t have any, it’ll be okay. It was just a thought.”

Wayne spared Eddie a sideways glance. The boy stared out his passenger side window, head against the glass, eyes dull, and his fingers twisted one of his rings around his finger idly. 

Wayne decided to take a chance: “What’s her name?”

Eddie turned his head, eyes suspicious. “What are you talking about?”

Wayne couldn’t hide his small laugh. “I knew it might happen again. But I’ll admit, I was hoping for sooner. Been a while since that Debbie girl.”

Eddie felt himself go crimson. “Shut up, man,” he mumbled. 

“Hey. First off, no back talk. Second, having a thing for someone is fine.” There was silence in the cab for a block or two before Wayne said, “She really pretty?”

“I suppose.”

“Wow.” Wayne let out a long low whistle. “With that kind of reaction she must be a knockout.” He threw Eddie a cockeyed grin. “She’s a stunner, huh?”

Eddie couldn’t help himself. He grinned and sighed: “Totally.”

“And she knows you like her?”

Eddie’s grin faded. No. You had no idea. He’d kissed you twice, but still you thought he hated your guts. He'd given you that impression himself. But you never knew that he’d fucked his fist over you multiple times now. He’d imagined you in his life and his bed, but you were in neither. And you never would be.

Eddie shook his head. 

“Ah,” said Wayne. He was quiet for a while after that. He didn’t talk again until the truck was parked in front of the hardware store. It was a busy morning in Hawkins and Saturdays were the days people went to Hawkins Lumber and Supply. The two of them people-watched for a minute in the quiet cab of the truck. 

“I know you don’t have much luck with the opposite sex,” Wayne began. 

“God, Wayne,” whined Eddie. “You make me sound like I’m a virgin.”

Wayne painted a mock look of shock on his face and gasped. “You mean my sweet baby boy has been spoiled?!”

“Shut up,” Eddie said, a smirk on his face as he unbuckled and opened his door.

The lumber smell hit him first. He could swim in it. “Over here,” Wayne directed eagerly with a grin. Eddie hadn’t seen him this keyed up in a minute. But it’s not every day a man gets his own brand new generator. The last two winters had been hell without one. Eddie had helped his uncle lay down the concrete patch that the small shed would sit on to house it. The trailer park red tape they went through to get that little patch put in was a war onto itself, but that mountain had been conquered. Now the crowning glory was coming home with them. All they needed to do was set her in place and hook her up. 

Wayne grinned ear to ear while talking with Sally the sales lady. Eddie gave her a polite nod as she smiled at him before motioning for her associate to wheel out the generator on a hand truck. 

When it was mounted and secured in the truck bed, Wayne sat behind the wheel, closed his driver’s side door, and sighed, happy. He turned to Eddie: “Gonna be a warm winter.”

“Finally! No freezing our asses off bundled up in blankets,” grinned Eddie. 

“Drinking hot drinks just to warm up,” agreed Wayne.

“Or worse: heading to the church for a meal.”

Wayne shook his head. “They mean well.”

“Yeah. They’re real mean. They wanted to baptize me!” Wayne chuckled at Eddie’s outrage and started the engine. “And you almost let them!”

“I almost did!” said Wayne. “Only reason I didn’t: they wouldn’t heat up the holy water first. Colder than a witch’s tit that year.” Eddie laughed and shook his head. “What? Couldn’t have you catching cold!”

They were half way home when Wayne asked, “Would she take care of you?”

“What? Who—?” But in the next instant, he knew who his uncle meant. “Aw man, leave it alone, will ya?”

“Answer the question.”

“Would she take care of me?”

Wayne nodded. “If you were sick. Or if you hurt yourself.”

Eddie recalled your soft kisses to his hand from pounding on the elevator door. He remembered you so concerned for him that he had shoved you to the floor. His gut twisted. “Yeah. She would.”

Wayne nodded and as he drove, fished out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. Eddie lit him up with his lighter. “She cares then,” he said. “That’s good.”

“I guess,” Eddie said, his head now back against the window, the same listless look in his eyes once more. 

“Ed, I may not know much, but I do know that it should be about how this girl sees you. And if you see yourself reflected in her eyes, don’t hesitate.”

“But what about your track record?”

“My track record is not your track record. Don’t look at my life and see yours. Because it isn’t. And your mother’s track record isn’t yours either. If this girl’s not abusive — words and deeds, remember — then go get her. Don’t let her slip through your fingers.”

“What if—“

Silence. 

“What if what?”

“What if my track record… is my dad’s?”

“You get angry around her? You haven’t hurt her, son?”

“No! No way! I mean… I knocked her over once — but that was an accident! I swear! I wasn’t mad at her. She was trying to help calm me and I shook her away and she fell, but I didn’t want to hurt her! And she wasn’t! She was fine. She said so!”

Wayne gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter. He let out a slow breath. “I’ve known you your whole life, Eddie. You’ve got your mother’s heart but you do have your dad’s temper. Fortunately, you can be calmed pretty easily. Did you spot that you knocked her over right away or did it take—“

“Right away,” said Eddie. “No question.”

“And you apologized?”

“Are you kidding? I was practically losing my shit that I did it. But then she smiled at me and I—“

“And all was forgiven,” Wayne finished. Eddie nodded.

“And then she kissed me,” Eddie said softly.

“And did you kiss her back?”

Eddie nodded.

“And she doesn't know you like her?" Wayne shook his head and smiled to himself. "So what’s the problem?”

“What if I do it again? What if she thinks I'm like my dad and walks away? What if she runs? What if she’s too ashamed of me to really be with me? She’s a Loch Nora chick. You know: money.”

“Oh? Well…. She sounds pretty invested as it is,” Wayne said, “for a girl that doesn’t know you like her.” He brought his truck to a stop at their trailer, having backed up behind it, the tailgate end facing the concrete slab and wooden housing they had built. He turned off the engine. “What you’re afraid of sounds pretty normal to me. What do your instincts tell you about her?”

Eddie shrugged. “Our beginning was…kinda wild? She was using me as kind of a fake boyfriend to get back at the cool kids and I let it go, but then it started getting weird and I guess she felt it too, because she had a change of heart and now I’m so turned around by her…” He took a breath. Christ, he was beginning to nervously ramble like you do. “I think my compass is just spinning and spinning. I have no north anymore.”

“Sounds complicated.”

Eddie nodded. Wayne laid a hand on his shoulder. “Women are. Relationships are. But boy are they worth it when you get it right. Stick around her. See how she is with you around with no strings attached. Maybe that compass of yours will find north in the end.”

Eddie considered this for a moment until his uncle patted him on the shoulder and woke him up. “Come on. Let’s get that beauty hooked up.”

~080~

Eddie had sat on the couch for as long as he could stand it. Your apology from yesterday and Wayne’s words from that day had been running around in his head all afternoon and evening and they were eating his brain. He had never looked forward to a Monday at school before, but he needed to be around you again. He needed to see you, to hear you, to flash a smile and see if you returned it among all the other people there. He sighed for the millionth time as he stared through the Gunsmoke rerun on the television.

“Jesus, Ed,” his uncle had said, exasperated, “Just go to bed.”

That tore it.

“I’m gonna go for a drive,” Eddie had said, slapping his hands on his knees and getting up. He grabbed his keys and his jacket. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

Wayne had given him an evaluating stare. “I’ll be here.”

Eddie had nodded to him and had left with the familiar slap of the screen door echoing behind him. 

He drove aimlessly as the sun set on Hawkins. Normally, his metal music would be blaring, but tonight he hadn’t bothered with any music. He didn’t want to drown out his thoughts, he wanted the drive and the night to take them - and for the most part, it was working. He lit a cigarette at a lonely stop sign and rolled down his window, exhaling smoke into the autumn air. The smell of rotting leaves and burning wood from someone’s fireplace mingled with the cold as he drove off again. The streets were quiet. He wondered when the dance was supposed to begin. He wondered how you looked. He wondered if you were having fun. But he didn’t wonder hard enough to actually drive to the school to find you. That would have been too real.

Street lights gave a hazy yellow glow to the road ahead as he rounded Lover’s Lake. He thought of hanging at Rick’s, but that would only end in a drunken weed haze and not get him back in those couple hours he promised Wayne. Then he’d hear it. Nah. Not worth the struggle.

Night darkened quickly this time of year and he wanted more of the eerie gloom. He chose an unlit back road that led to just above and over the quarry. There was a small patch on the shoulder where he parked his van. He sat there for a minute in the silence and finished his cigarette, willing the thought of you out of his head for the millionth time. He crushed out the butt and flicked it off into the dirt. Passing a hand over his face, he gave a soft groan and, for the sake of his sanity, played radio roulette. He turned the knob and stopped on the first song that caught him. Static crackled and snapped as this announcer voice passed by that commercial and this sugary pop song until Bob Seger sang to him to “Turn the Page”: a song about a lonely musician with long hair out touring away from family and everything familiar. Perfect.

Later in the evenin’ 

As you lie awake in bed

With the echo from the amplifiers

Ringin’ in your head

You smoke the day’s last cigarette

Rememberin’ what she said

He listened to its finish and turned the radio off, allowing the night to swallow him again. He closed his eyes, he saw you in his mind’s eye all apologetic and sad. He remembered his hands rubbing against your upper arms, comforting you. You had called yourself horrible things, but he hadn’t bothered to correct you. He had been too busy holding onto himself emotionally. You weren’t a bad person. But he had been. He should have just accepted your apology and ended your self-torture, but he didn’t.

He turned off the engine and the lights. There was a rusty guard rail running along the edge of the quarry but he easily clambered over it. He moved carefully to the edge, peering over it in the moonlight. The water was dark and still at the bottom. A void that, if he were in any other mindset, he probably could have flung himself into with little thought. He felt like shit about you and what his next steps should be, but he wasn’t feeling that badly. Instead, he sat with his feet dangling over the edge of the drop and took another drag.

To his side was a rock the size of a cantaloupe. He couldn’t resist. He picked it up and, one-handed, shot-put style, chucked it into the void below. There was a space of nothingness where only the breeze in the boughs around him could be heard. Then, with a sad finality, he finally heard the splash he anticipated. Goddamn, that was a long way down. 

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He threw another. This rock was a bit smaller and he tossed it high, outward from his position, his eyes attempting to track its descent futilely because even though the full moonlight was bright, the depth of the quarry swallowed everything visible. Again, the anticipation of the sound was more dreadful than the actual satisfaction of hearing the landing. A small splash echoed back up to him and he breathed again.

Small ripples caressed the shore of the quarry. He heard them more than saw them, although the water’s surface was accessible far below him just off the access road. Due to the angle of the shore he was able to see the soft waves lap gently there in the moonlight until they finally stilled. He threw another rock, watching and waiting for the splash and then seeking out the ripples against the shore far below. He counted elephants to himself: “One-elephant-two-elephant-three….” It was four and a half elephants to hear the splash and another nine until he saw the ripples. The anticipation of both was palpable.

Funny how mere seconds could be so long. Or how days could stretch into years. Sunday still lay before him. All in all, it was about 36 hours by his reckoning before he would be heading off to school. It seemed like 4 million years.

He wished he could touch you again. He wished he could bring you here to sit in the quiet and the stillness. He wished he could apologize to you for being kind of a dick. No. A total dick. The lyrics of the song echoed back to him like the splash from the stones below:

You smoke the day’s last cigarette

Rememberin’ what she said

Lights appeared on the access road below. A car stopped. Someone got out. The lights of the car were on and the car radio echoed tinnily against the carved stone walls. For a moment, Eddie wanted to flee but his legs betrayed him; he never moved. He was frozen. He soon discovered that it was the perfect vantage point. The individual walked in front of the lights completely ignorant of his presence. The figure was small, but they had a massive voice the echoed off of the walls of the quarry, startling some birds in the trees. “Eddie Munson! Get the fuck out of my head!”

He started at the sound of his own name, but then he registered who it was that was below him. “Unbelievable,” he muttered. He looked up at the sky briefly, “Mom, are you seeing this?” before he crushed out his cigarette, got to his feet, and watched you stoop and pick up the first stone skipping it along the water, ripples breaking and mixing in the shine from the headlights. Then another. Then another.

~080~

You really hoped your friends forgave you for ditching them but as you pulled up to the old quarry, you realized that you didn’t care. It was only a stupid dance. A dance that you were going to go to with all your female friends and try and have a good time? Nope. No chance. The radio was playing some soft rock when you put your car in park and turned off the engine, but engaged the ignition to keep power to the radio and lights.

The night was bitter and cold. You had brought your winter coat and wrapped it around yourself as you got out of the car and walked around the dirt road leading up to the water. You were instantly reminded that you were wearing your black stirrup pants under your denim pencil skirt, paired with black flats; your ankles were practically made of ice as soon as you stepped out of the car, but you wanted to feel the bite of it. You wanted to feel small and cold. It was your penance for being a horrible person.

The wind in the trees that surrounded the area, the faint music from your car, and the odd call of a night bird were the only sounds. The lights from your headlights reflected off the water and made shadows against the far quarry wall. It was spooky here all alone. You could see why it was a great make-out spot. Anyone would want to cuddle toward someone else, if only for a sense of security. You let out a deep sigh and watched your breath fog drift away.

Your day of cleaning had moved into running errands with your parents in the afternoon: grocery shopping, dry cleaners, and a trip to the watch maker’s so your dad could get his grandfather’s pocket watch cleaned. The late afternoon had been filled with talk of the dance. You had headed back to your room and called Gail. “Pick up Marie, will you?”

“Why? What happened?”

“I’m not going.”

“No! What? You said you would!” Gail had whined your name and it killed you to hear it.

“Sorry, Gail, but I just can’t. I can’t be happy. Not yet.”

“What is going on between you and Eddie?” she had asked. “Last I knew he kissed you and then ditched school.”

“Yeah. Then I saw him last night and I apologized.”

“For what?”

Gail had had no idea the whole thing was a set up, so of course she was confused. But you hadn’t wanted to explain it to her. She might have thought worse of you if she had known, so you had decided to dodge the bullet. “I didn’t exactly treat him well.” And here you had sighed, guilt still nibbling at your guts. “But he didn’t forgive me, so I guess we’re kind of through.”

“Jesus. That didn’t last long.”

“It’s okay. My relationships never do. S’why everyone thinks I’m this virgin,” you had said.

Gail had grunted in annoyance. “Listen, if Eddie shows up at the dance or any afterparty we go to, I’m going to kill him!” she cried. “Why is he dodging you? You apologized for whatever it was you said or did, so clearly you like him – though God knows why – but he really shouldn’t turn up his nose at you. You’re a hell of a catch – and better than he could ever hope to do. Honestly, he doesn’t deserve you.”

You had brushed off her insult to him/compliment to you. You hadn’t had the strength for that battle. Instead you had decided to refocus her attention. “You were invited to an afterparty?” you had asked, truly curious.

“Well, no,” Gail had admitted. “But there’s still time. My point is: if I see him, he’s dead meat. I’ll claw his eyes out.”

“Don’t do that,” you had said. “I like his eyes. And besides, you might break a nail.” There had been a pause during which you knew she was checking her well-manicured nails.

“True,” she had finally agreed. “Well, anyhow. What are you going to do with your night? Spend it with the ‘rents?”

“Oh God no. I have other plans. But if they ask: I met all of you at the school and had a blast. Okay?”

“Okay,” she had agreed. “See you Monday, mopey.”

You shivered against the cold and wondered why you had bothered to leave your house for this place, but you needed the time by yourself. The gloom only added to your mood.

“EDDIE MUNSON, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!” you screamed and then pierced the night with a genuine shriek of frustration and anger. Your voice was amplified and echoed all over the quarry. Night birds startled in the trees that surrounded you and you were grateful and more than a little fearful that you were in a place where you could scream your brains out and no one was around to hear and call the cops.

Breathing hard, you held your hands to your head and ran them through your hair. “Nothing to be done, girl,” you said to yourself. There were many pieces of flat pieces of shale at your feet. You kicked at them idly, but decided to pick up a few to skip across the still water. The splashes echoed a bit and the ripples glittered waves in the glow from your car’s headlights behind you.

Five skips.

Four.

Six.

Five.

Only the radio kept you company as you wasted your night alone with the water and the stones and your thoughts about Eddie Munson. How could he be so funny and kind and so cruel and cutting toward you all at the same time? It was like he was punishing you for more than the crime you committed. With every rock you threw, you felt a tiny bit better, so you kept at it. You didn’t know how long you’d been there, but you groaned when you felt additional lights on you and heard the sound of another approaching vehicle.

You suspected it was some of the local kids from Hawkins here for a make-out session. If they found you here on your own, they would paint you as a loser and you felt your heart race as the light flashed across your face and the vehicle slowed to a stop next to yours. It was too late to hide. Fuck.

The lights of the car went out and the moonlight took over. Eddie’s van appeared before you, dust from its tires blowing away in the wind behind it. Eddie himself jumped out of the driver’s seat and slammed the van door behind him. He strolled forward toward you, his hands in his jacket pockets, a smile on his face.

“Imagine my surprise, running into you,” he said.

Instantly, you were aware of how alone you two were. That smile of his was disturbing. Instinctively, you backed up a pace. “Yeah,” you laughed nervously. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie read your body language instantly. He held up his hands and stopped moving, saying, “Hey, hey. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You did a good job anyway,” you said, your arms crossing protectively across your chest.

“Sorry,” he said. He meant to add: And while I’m at it, I’m sorry for everything else too, but he didn’t. He just stood there dumbly and waited. 

“I was enjoying my solitude,” you said, turning and picking up another stone to throw. You curled it in your hand, took a step, and threw your arm swinging outward. Six skips that time.

Eddie whistled low. “You’re pretty good.” He looked around his feet and came up with a stone. He threw it. Two skips. “And I suck,” he said with a short laugh.

You didn’t say anything at first. He was the last person you wanted to see. But what was twisting you from the inside was that he was also the only person you wanted to see. You hucked another rock and he paid you another compliment. What was his deal? The last time you saw him, he kissed you and then dropped you like a hot rock when his friends found you both in that compromising position. Something in you boiled over.

“Look, why don’t you go away? Huh?” Your throat was suddenly raw with hurt. “You don’t like me? Fine. I don’t need you to like me any more. I’m done. You win. You get to hate me with the burning passion of a thousand suns. And your plan now is - what? - to torture me? To hang around until guilt chokes me and swallows me whole? What more do you want? Do you want me on my knees begging your forgiveness just so you can stand there and laugh at me with your friends?”

You had no plans to get on your knees for Eddie Munson.

“N-no,” he stuttered as his brain conjured up a totally inappropriate image. “I gave it some thought. You’re driving me nuts, but I was pretty cold to you back at Cosmo’s.” Here you barked a short sarcastic laugh. “And then you were crying and then I knocked you over…and then we, uh. And then I just left you there. It was pretty shitty, you know? So I couldn’t get all of that out of my head. I was just trying to tell you that I’m okay now. That I… forgive you. And that I’m sorry too.”

You didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Eddie gave you a sideways look and continued, guarded, “So if you want…,” he began slowly, “…I’d like to make it up to you. But only if you want.”

“Make it up..?” you managed.

“Yeah, you know… dinner, a movie. Real boyfriend shit. Things like that. If you want. I mean, I could make it up to you by staying the fuck away too, but I’ll be honest: I don’t want to do that.”

All you could do was blink and barely breathe as he went on: “I want to hang out with you. You’re funny. And smart. And I like you…?” His voice petered out weakly at the end, his voice lilting up into a question.

In the awkward silence that held dominion over you both in that moment, he held out a stone for you to take. “Here,” he said, “throw this and think it over.”

You were too torn up to see the rock in his hand. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Relief flooded your senses and you felt cracked in half. One side of you wanted to hit him hard. The other wanted to fall into his arms. Mechanically, you reached out your hand. The stone was small and warm from his hand. It was three-sided and fit perfectly into your palm.

“Bit small for a skipping rock,” you whispered.

Eddie shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll make it work. You can do anything.”

“Anything except understand you, Eddie Munson,” you said flatly. You regarded him for some time as he kicked at the shale and avoided your glance.

Eddie could feel your stare and from somewhere deep inside him, he heard Wayne’s words about the complexity of women: …boy are they worth it when you get it right. Stick around her. See how she is with you around with no strings attached. Maybe that compass of yours will find north in the end.

Buoyed by this, he rounded his shoulders in a carefree shrug. “All part of my charm, sweetheart,” he quipped, that trademark grin, the one you had been waiting for for all this time, was right back on his face.

You little shit, you thought. You squeezed the stone in your left fist and moved to him, completely prepared to sucker-punch his smug little face.

The closer you got, the more your heart ached. You wanted to strangle him. But in the end, you just needed to touch him. “You are the single most infuriating person. I swear to God,” you said and wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him with everything you had.

His arms came up around you and held you close. Nearby, the radio DJ decided to put one of your favorite songs on. You always thought it so sad, because you’d never been treated like the woman in the song by anyone, but now, you noticed as your hug broke, Eddie swayed with you in his arms to the beat of it. He reached up and took your right hand in his left and pressed his cheek to yours.

“If that’s a yes, then I think I’ll start by dancing with you, if that’s okay,” he whispered.

You were dizzy, but Eddie’s body braced you, his arm around you supported you, his skin against yours warmed you and you had never felt more cherished. It was breathtaking how gentle he was. He brought your hand to his chest and covered your hand over his heart, warming your fingers as the music and the night surrounded you.

I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight

I’ve never seen you shine so bright

I’ve never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance

They’re looking for a little romance, given half a chance

And I have never seen that dress you’re wearing

Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes

I have been blind

The lady in red is dancing with me (cheek to cheek)

There’s nobody here

It’s just you and me

It’s where I wanna be

But I hardly know this beauty by my side

I’ll never forget the way you look tonight

He pulled away from you when the song faded away. “How was that? I mean, I know it’s not the Sadie Hawkins or anything, but-“

You kissed him.

In the whole of your life, you had never been this frustrated by or been made to feel this helpless by a man. You had never had a man hold you like you were delicate or precious. You had never felt his kiss kill you and give you life all at the same time. But here, on the edge of the black pool of an abandoned quarry in a remote section of Indiana, you felt the universe turn around you and the world shift as your fingertips brushed his jaw.

You were suddenly hyper-aware of him: his taste, warmth, pressure, scent. All of Eddie surrounded you and you wanted more. You wanted to crawl inside of his jacket and hide in his pocket. You wanted him to hold you and dance with you and talk to you. For this night and every night.

Eddie was stunned to his sneakers. He never expected you to kiss him. The hug was already a shock, but this? No way. Even after everything that had already happened between you, he would never have predicted it. In fact, when you had first walked up to him, he could have sworn that you were going to clock him right in the face. But then you didn’t. And then the song came on.

It was a little sappy for his taste, but he had heard it plenty of times in all sorts of places and when he paid attention to the lyrics, he realized that it was perfect for just this moment. After all, you were stunning and he felt so lucky to be here alone with you. And he did rob you of the chance to go to the dance with him. He owed you a dance at least.

And now this. He felt terrified to take more from you, but that’s all he wanted to do. He wanted to usher you into his van and kiss you everywhere. He wanted to spend the rest of the night here, if you’d let him. He felt your chilly fingertips touch his jaw and instinctively, he took your hand and held it. 

Your glassy-eyed stare was all he needed to see. He was sure that his looked the same to you. Holding your gaze, he slowly kissed you again. This time, he let it linger. This time, he didn’t run.

“Eddie,” you whispered.

“Yeah?”

“You really want to date me for real?”

Eddie laughed and his hold on you released. His laugh busted out into a howl. He doubled over with it and stumbled a few paces away.

You watched him cackle and the longer it lasted, the more you found yourself becoming angry. “Edward Munson! Was this all just a trick to get me to kiss you again?”

His eyes flew wide and the laughter stopped immediately. “No no! Nooo! No, sweetheart, no!” He came to you and held both of your hands which you had balled into fists. “I’m not laughing at you at all! I mean it! I really did! It’s just- you asked me if I was for real and you- well, you’re you! You’re you and you’re asking me if I want to date you for real? You do remember that I’m the freak of Hawkins High and that you’re the Unattainable Ice Queen, right?”

“I do,” you said, thoroughly confused. “I mean- I didn’t think you liked me. That’s all.” You looked up into his dark eyes. They held a gentle humor and matched his soft smile.

“I know I gave you that impression in no uncertain terms, but…” He sighed and dropped to one knee. “You are the single most intelligent and beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on and it would be my undying honor to take you out on all the dates ever for as long as you can stand to be around this feeble excuse for a man.”

“Oh.” You wanted to kiss him so damn badly, but it took your stuttering brain too long to put the rest of your body into motion to do it. He stood.

He held up your left hand. “Aren’t you going to throw this?” The stone still lay in your palm, warm and solid.

“What? You want me to throw away your fake-aversary gift to me?”

“Honey, it’s a rock.”

“Yes. It’s a rock shaped like your guitar pic,” you said, flicking the plastic pendant for emphasis. “It’s also sort of heart-shaped, which is nice.” You pocketed the stone.

A slow grin spread across his face and he bowed his head, shaking it slowly. “You know, I think you might be weirder than me.”

“Then that makes us a pretty good match, don’t you think?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” he said. For a moment, neither of you spoke and the DJ’s voice came through. “Hey, uh… you may want to shut off your radio and your lights or you won’t have juice in your battery.”

“Oh damn!” You ran to the car and did as he told you.

“Now start it up,” he said, fully prepared to grab his jumper cables if you needed them. “See if she cranks over.”

The engine stuttered but caught and you breathed a sigh of relief. Eddie wandered over to your window. You lowered it. “My knight in shining armor. My parents would have killed me. Especially since they think I’m at the dance,” you said, smiling. “You do know how to save a girl, don’t you, Munson?”

The grin on his face was contagious, but he shrugged modestly. “I do my best for any maiden in distress, but… well…”

“Well?”

You are my maiden to rescue, aren’t you?” he asked, uncertainly. You smiled at him and leaned toward him, making your wordless answer unmistakable. He smiled and leaned in gently, kissing you softly. In the span of time it took for his lips to meet yours and part again, he knew he didn’t want to push you. Everything was too new. It was too delicate. He didn’t want to crush this thing before it had a chance to exist. “Now,” he said, clearing his throat and looking at his watch, “it’s not completely late, but you did lie to your parents. If you’re feeling guilty about it, you may want to head home. Besides, it’s freezing out here. I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

The clock on the dash said 8:40. That wasn’t late at all. Why was he calling you his maiden, kissing you, and then pushing you away?

Your confused look must have moved him. “You can have my number?” he offered. “Just to let me know you got home okay?”

You nodded dumbly and you exchanged numbers. Eddie wrote yours on his arm with a pen from your purse all the while thinking, baby steps baby steps baby steps…gotta move slow…

As he passed before your headlights again, your stubborn resolute nature found a voice. It was too soon. You didn’t want to do anything but be with him. Plus, your curfew wasn’t until midnight anyway. You easily had just under four hours to burn. You opened your door and with one foot in the car and the other one out, you leaned one hand on the roof and shouted to him: “Hey! Are you hungry? I have pizza money. We could go into town. If you want?”

Eddie stopped short. Your voice was a shock. Are you hungry? He paused, but in the next second he was thinking of where he could take you on the money he had coming to him next Saturday from Rick. He wanted to take you to Clark’s Diner or The Harvester’s, some place that was nice, but not Enzo’s nice. But then he registered what you said after that: pizza? His stomach growled. “Sure,” he said. “Larry’s?”

“Larry’s Pizzeria it is.”

#fanfic #writing #joseph quinn #joe quinn #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #fake relationship #la belle dame avec merci #lbdam #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3 writer #slow burn

[babbushka]

I’m dying at the thought of you taking prompts again! May I please request some sexy role play with Flip or Clyde being your sexy but cheesy yard worker? Maybe stripping off his sweaty shirt while he trims the trees or something. He could double as a cabana boy and help you with sunscreen in all those hard to reach places too. Please and thank you 🖤🖤🖤

“Goddamn it’s hot out.” You groan by the pool, your ear trained for the response you’re hoping to elicit from your husband. 

To your dismay, all you can hear is the sound of the lawn mower, and duh, you think, of course he couldn’t hear you. Not when he has those hideous headphones on anyway. Flip had decided to take the landscaping extremely seriously this year, which has been as charming as it is annoying. It seems like whenever you want to lounge by the pool with some good food and the radio, he’s trimming the grass. 

You had prepared for this though, and decided to play a little game that you like to call how naked can I get before Flip notices? Normally by the time your tits are out, the game is over and he’s got his hands all over you, but you have a feeling this time around may require more work. 

“I said,” You shout, untying your coverup and dragging the lounge chair to better face the sun, “It’s hot out here.” 

Damn, no dice, you think as Flip doesn’t so much as look your way. No matter, you’re determined. 

When you lie out on the chaise, clad in the smallest bikini you could possible find (it didn’t matter that it didn’t fit, in fact that was for the better), you are sure to crank the radio up. It’s right at the tail end of the 70s, and the top 40 station is playing all the upbeat summer time jams that you were hoping it would. 

Those headphones do their damn job though, and Flip is still completely oblivious. He can’t mow the lawn forever, can he? You tug on the strings of your bikini, your top half completely exposed to the elements. The sun is hot on your skin, and you have a bottle of SPF to your side, but even after sitting up and posing yourself so that your tits are basically staring this man down, he still hasn’t noticed. 

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding.” You chuckle to yourself, sighing as you resort to your last ditch effort. 

The bikini bottom falls away from your body and you get comfortable on your stomach, your back and bare ass offering him up his final opportunity. If he doesn’t get his hot sweaty self over to you in the next thirty seconds...

The thought leaves your mind the second a solar eclipse leaves you in shadow, and you grin, knowing you’ve won. 

“Is there something I can do for you, ma’am?” Flip asks, physically turning you back over on the chaise, his big head blocking the sunlight so you don’t have to squint directly up into it. You have a cheesy smile as you get comfortable, your arms draped over the back of the lounge chair, him completely clothed and you completely nude. 

“You can get those smelly clothes away from me, or else my husband might know what we get up to.” You raise an eyebrow at him, a challenge. His eyes twinkle and his mouth ticks up in a sly grin. 

“The husband, where is he off to this time? Business trip? Golfing with the guys?” Shucking the shirt off of his body, Flip picks up the game easily. He’s so good at improv, has to be because of his job. You like to think you’re helping him hone his skills.

“I don’t know,” You shrug playfully, running your hands over his strong stomach. He’s not an invincible moronic twenty-something anymore, like he was when you first met him. He’s covered in scars and he’s gained some weight in all the right places, gained some muscle too. It’s delicious, the way his gold chain swings in your face. “But you’re here. Are you going to show me a good time?” 

“I’ll never disappoint you,” He lowers himself onto you, kissing his hot wet mouth all across your face and throat, making his way down to your chest. He kisses your breasts and grasps at your sides, and you can feel him filling out in his short short shorts. 

“You’ve got an hour until he’s back,” You moan, knowing that Flip always takes on the challenge of seeing how many times he can make you come when you play these games, “Let’s see just how satisfied you’ll make me.” 

He grabs you and chucks you over his shoulder in a fireman carry then, you laughing from the way your stomach flips upside down. He leaves the radio on in the backyard as he carries you up the stairs and to the master bedroom -- needing some sort of noise to cover up the volume he will undoubtedly coax out of you. 

#flip zimmerman #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman x you #adcu #adam driver fanfic #sorry theres like no good summertime gifs of him lmao #thank you dear anon!!

[punk-in-docs]

Okay I'm coming in hot for director's cut - so sorry if you've already answered this, but I'm curious how "Pencils" came to be in your mind / I'd love to hear any thoughts you have about this series.

- @superblysubpar 💛

Thank you for the ask @superblysubpar I’m coming in slow AF with my answer. Sorry about that babes. Been a helluva week. This ask made me smile though-

As far as Pencil’s nickname is concerned, I can tell you that it comes from a very innocent and a very sweet place; I simply believe that they first met/ knew of each other/ were in each others orbit/ in one class back in middle school.

Eddie being the scrungly non conformist metal baby that he was back then, probably didn’t care to come equipped for class, and then he gets sat behind this cool girl in scruffy jeans and too big plaid and sneakers, always humming cool songs and sending a withering glare at the empty headed preppy kids en route to high school stardom, when they picked on anyone (him mostly)

He doesn’t know why he does it. Maybe he’s looking for an olive branch, but either way he asks this cool girl in front of him, on the first day of class if he can borrow or steal a Pencil.

And she smiles, and says sure and hands him one. No problem.

Every class she smiles when he lopes in late and slips behind her. Every time he asks for one despite having several in his bag he plays dumb, just because of the rush of talking to her. Better than any sugar rush or sabbath riff.

He wants to approach her outside class, but he constantly sees her with this popular girl glued to her side as she rambles on about boys. He scuffs his converse and lets his courage shrink. Maybe pulls clownish stunts to see her laugh. And it all goes into distant orbit of being aware of each other by the time high school comes around. Aware but distanced.

Then, one fateful night, years and years and many grades later, he’s just done a deal with an asshole jock in the woods at Kyle whatshisnames party, and when he steps back onto the green green lawn, to scurry along home, imagine his shock when he finds that same girl, primped and partied up in a poppy outfit-

Pretty as ever too. So so pretty.

He’s never forgotten Pencil girl. Pencils. the nickname snapped out his mouth then with fervour and a toothy grin. Pencils. Always holding one in class. Doodling away. Drawing the shape and shading on hands or pill bugs or flowers and weird dogs and buildings and streets on the margins of her books or legal pads. The artist through and through.

Wants to study it one day, she said. Draw and draw til her fingers drop off. Draw comics and stage sets and paintings-

He’s never forgotten her small acts of kindness where everyone else had slung venom. Passed him answers on little torn scraps of paper for the pop quiz. Lend him pencils when he needed them. Or an eraser. Or stifled a laugh when he said something funny to frustrate the teacher.

She’s sat there, on this lawn chair, drunk probably, and there’s evidence of tears under her eyes and she’s just small and all alone, and he just, he can’t have that. He can’t leave it like that.

This time Eddie puffs his chest up and grins, eyes dancing bright, this time, the chance seems way too good to let slip through his fingers.

He can’t look away now he’s seen her. This is fate. It’s destiny even. If this shit show called life could ever hand him something kind and good, then here it is baby. Lit up in flashing gold tulip bulb lights like a goddamned broadway theatre.

Don’t miss this one again, kid. Hope don’t come knocking twice.

He cracks his knuckles. He boldly goes to see if she remembers him.

Here goes nothin, Munson-

#punkwrites #eddie munson #i would die for this man #joseph quinn #thank you 💕💕💕 #eddie munson x reader #thank you babe #eddie my boy #thank you so much !! #eddie x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x pencils #pencils x eddie #eddie x pencils ride again #super freak series #super freak #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things season four

[dark-elf-writes]

Absolutely. Goddamn that’s so perfect.

Danzo could be a whole “my great, great, great, great granddaddy once told me” ass bitch. A “I do declare Mr. Senator” mother fucker if you will.

And him trying to bring up old shit with people that moved out of Konoha is so funny to me. Like,,,kakashi not even living in the small town anymore and this mf tracking him down like heyyyyyy I could rly use your vote $-$

Kakashi living his best life just barely within Konoha’s jurisdiction with his kid and 8 dogs only to get the most nepo baby to ever nepo baby to knock on his door and tell him his lawn is half a centimeter too long like he doesn’t live in the middle of the fucking woods.

A “your granddaddy would be mighty displeased” bitch. A “we need to think of the image of the village you see” mother fucker. An HOA given physical form (despite the fact that kakashi, again, lives in the woods and is very much not a part of an HOA)

Kakashi couldn’t give less of a fuck. He keeps showing his tattoos and makes sure to rev his bike extra loud whenever he passes Danzo’s house just to piss him off. 90% of the complaints on file about “Local Motorcyclists” are Danzo bitching about Kakashi and the overwhelmingly Uchiha heavy police department are taking bets for which one Itachi, who is somehow always the one that has to do all the paperwork, decides to hunt for for sport first.

#the elf talks #naruto #hot for teacher au #I think ‘’living embodiment of an HOA’ is the most devastating way to describe someone #you can’t recover from that

[tricornonthecob]

So sleepy but we gotta start season 2

LK 121: Nyquil Sluttington

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

These are the most dramatic trees since the opening to Fox and the Hound.

why is he going so fast??? What is he running from?

Also I see Caesar is in his gray era.

I wonder where the budget went.

Just Kayla. I feel like there's a child labor law that got sidestepped here.

oh my god he's talking to the horse. Secret Horse Girl, 10,000x over.

I don't understand why you're bitching about this, this is your favorite topic and you're literally galloping to get there.

Keeping up with the Sluttingtons

Still talking with the horse lol same though.

Well maybe if you hadn't wasted all that energy galloping...

"Quit yoinkin' the reins, my guy, sheesh."

oh my god James, he is already halting why must you yank so much.

lol he looks so offended.

GIT OFF MA LAWN

I just want to know how they told Kayla to play that line, because it is not very threatening and I assume it was meant to be sarcastic/threatening.

again with the yankity reins, for a horsegirl he has pretty bad eq.

Caesar is not having any of this.

this episode feels lowkey the LK fandom's Beast Boy/Terra moment, TT cartoon canon is bullshit, Raven/Beast Boy forever I will fight you, why do none of my ships end up canon.

I assume this is supposed to look good but I hate peas.

Is he at the kid's table or something, someone get this man an appropriately-sized chair he looks like he's sitting in one of these

that is... alot of money.

...what do you think, Sybil?? He's a journalist, do keep up.

"why?! >:( " Girl I can't with you.

Ooof hit him right in the self-consciousness, guess which writer's room finally got to flesh out some character development?

"You come into my house and do journalism???"

Girl why are you so angy.

The writer's room is trying to hit an enemies-to-lovers speedrun record with this episode and I am not here for it.

Is that his wife or just another kid. Who was she.

"...is too old for you and also gross please stop."

goddamn this is the episode of NOTPs, what next, Henri and A Stable Work Schedule?

#liberty's kids #tricorn on the cob watches LK and makes inane commentary #sarah phillips #james hiller #revenge of the NOTPs #I may need another ginger beer/mead cocktail to get me through this #tricorn watches

[tahthetrickster]

i just block anyone on cats and firemen these days who wanders in scoffing about how kids these days don’t even know about NEDM anymore like

i am older than you, first of all

NEDM wasn’t even funny when it was new

the post is 11 years old and has 2 MILLION notes do you REALLY have the absolute NERVE to think you’re the FIRST PERSON to bring it up

imagine trying to feel superior over an old-ass YTMND meme of all goddamn things

get off my fucking lawn

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Monsters (Full Chapter)

Ch. 1: Monstrous Beginnings

Miss Frankie has enough of the Solar Opposites so, she ended up trying to teach them a painful lesson, that she’ll soon regret.

Miss Frankie: That does it! These aliens are driving me crazy. I got to find a way to get rid of them!

So, Frankie did a board meeting with the humans to find a way to get rid of them.

Miss Frankie: Alright people, we have finally have enough of those goddamn alien neighbors of ours, and we’re fucking gonna do something to get rid of them, once and for all. So, who got any plans?

Randall: Uh, actually….. no.

Phoebe: Yeah, I know how much a pain our alien neighbors are but, they kinda grow on us. I mean, did you see the way how much they saved us from those napadoodles?

Mikey: Yeah, plus Korvo and Terry helped out with my lawn with that lawn mower ray.

Principal Cooke: D’aw, I hate to admit but damn it. Even their kids Yumyulack and Jesse did helped me with my troubled issues from my childhood during that board meeting. Despite the fact that I still fucking hate em, these kids are okay.

Randoe: Yeah, they may be assholes, but they are our assholes.

Enraged, Frankie flipped the speaker in fury.

Miss Frankie: Are you fucking joking? After all those goddamn awful things those fucking aliens have done to us? You are now falling head over heels over them! YOU’VE ALL GONE FUCKING CRAZY!!!

Coach: Well things have been less boring around here since the Solars arrived. Let’s cut em some slack.

Miss Frankie: Goddamn it!

As Miss Frankie walks off in a huff, she suddenly got an evil idea, once she saw the aliens’ house.

Miss Frankie: Wait a minute, that blue asshole’s lab. I have the perfect idea. Evil chuckle

Ch. 2: Ogre Korvo

Korvo was working on the ship while drinking Mountain Dew.

Korvo: Terry, bring me the screwdriver.

Terry: Okay.

Korvo kept blushing at his husband’ laziness. It has been awhile since they landed on earth and Korvo has finally begin to enjoy his lifemate’s company. But suddenly…

Korvo: Damn it Terry! Did you just put one of your Doritos in the stabilizer?

Terry: Yes parqua?

Korvo: Damn it, it’s damaging the engines.

Korvo got to work, despite him loving his Terry, sometimes his stupidity can annoy him.

Korvo: God damn it you really got stop bring snacks up here!

Terry: Aw, but I love these snacks!

Korvo: Well, next time. Just eat downstairs. It’s enough bugging problems already!

Terry: Okay geez!

Korvo: Good, just make sure you don’t make a mess of this again. Just head downstairs and I’ll let you know when I’m done.

Terry: Alright, love you sweetie.

As Terry heads downstairs, a blast appears and suddenly blast Korvo.

Korvo: screams in pain What the fuck? Replicants, you better not be messing with one of our ray guns!

Suddenly, Korvo suddenly feels his headache as he feels his cells suddenly evolving.

Korvo: Ugh. My head… my cells…. they’re on fire…. panting Urgh, what is wrong with me?!

Terry: Korvo, is everything- Oh my God! Korvo! Are you okay sweetie?!

Jesse: Korvo, are you alright?!

Pupa: Korvo?

Yumyulack: What’s happening to you?

Korvo: groaning in pain Terry! Kids! Get out of here! Run!

As Korvo continues to feel pain, his DNA has been altered as he began to experience changes in his body. His body grew muscles, his body starts growing larger as it ripped apart his robe, his feet got stronger and developed claws on it, his teeth got sharper and his voice got deeper.

Terry: K-Korvo?!

Korvo lets out a giant roar as he has fully become an monstrous hulking ogre Shlorpian. He then looks at a mirror and smashes it to pieces in a fit of rage.

Terry: Oh no my sweet Korvy!

Yumyulack: Oh my God! What the fuck happened to Korvo!

Pupa: Aaahh!

Jesse: Oh no! Korvo! No!

Korvo then smashes the walls and starts to attack the neighborhood. But luckily, Terry knows what to do.

Terry: KORVY! Stop!

Ogre Korvo: Huh?

Terry: It’s me Korv. Terry! Everything’s gonna be okay! Trust me!

When Korvo prepares to smash him, Terry luckily manage to tranquilize him as he finally calms down.

Ogre Korvo: T-Terry?

Terry: Yes, it’s me. You’ll always be my Korvo. kisses Korvo on the forehead

As Korvo manages to receive that kiss on the head, he has finally calm down as he began to transform back to normal.

Ogre Korvo: panting Grrr! Grrrr! Aaaaaaahhhh! turns back into his normal self

Terry catches Korvo as the latter smiles at his worker husband and blushes furiously.

Korvo: You found me.

Terry: I found you.

The two lifemates embrace in a kiss, but the town are still in panic by the monster.

Citizen #1: What happened to the monster?

Neighbor Kid: What’s going on?

Yumyulack: suddenly sees Korvo and Terry kissing Aw, eeww! Why do you guys have to be so fucking gross?!

Jesse: Aaawww. That’s sweet.

Pupa: Eeeewww.

Terry: Don’t worry Korv, I got you.

Terry carries Korvo as he smiles at his lifemate slash work husband in crime, but unknown to them, someone is watching them behind the bushes.

Ch. 3: Werecat Terry

Miss Frankie growled, knowing about the whole Korvo being an ogre thing. But she is still destined to get her next victims.

Miss Frankie: One down, three more to go. evil giggle

Miss Frankie then traveled to Washington by doing the same thing Korvo did, banning dinner parties. But it’s not banning dinner parties, it’s banning aliens from them. She manipulated the entire White House, had them make a new law and now the nightmare has just begun for Terry.

Terry: spinning the newspaper Wee-hee-hee! stops spinning it What the? looks at the article and gasp in horror after seeing the part where it says aliens are banned from dinner parties Nnnnnnoooooo!

Korvo: Huh? Did something bad happened in one of your favorite shows? Terry shows him the article as Korvo gasp Frankie got us banned from every dinner party?! Assshole!

Terry: Wait, you don’t mind having dinner parties with humans now?

Korvo: Fuck yeah! But when we’re banned?! Fuck no! Nobody bans me and my family from parties!

Terry: Aaawww! Korvy! kisses him on the cheek five times

Korvo: Don’t worry, we’re gonna need a plan to do something about this whole being banned from parties thing. Because, I will not let my Life-Terry be like a banned outcast for the rest of his life. Kids, get in here! Group hug time!

Once the replicants and Pupa got in here, the aliens group hug each other as a family.

Korvo: Now, here is our plan!

Overnight, Korvo and Terry manage to use technology to outrun dinner party officers. The humans even enjoy some of their banquets and amazing sci-fi stuff they did to outrun the officers. But the next day, things are about to get real hairy for Terry.

Terry: Okay, this one has a sanctuary for cute cats and kittens so this is where we’ll outrun the party officers. Then, once we use the technology that turns people into cats, the officers will leave and we’ll take the party to the basement! Who’s with us?!

Partygoers: I am! Woo-hoo! Yeah! Fuck yeah! Hell yeah motherfucker! Let’s do this!

Miss Frankie: coming in the room Okay, I’ve been going easy on you fucking aliens. I’m warning you. You better cut this shit out, or else!

Terry: Do your worst, skank!

Terry licks a sticker and puts it on an envelope with the evites just to invoke rage in Miss Frankie. Korvo can’t help but blush at his Life-Terry making so much progress since the law of parties with no aliens began. But that night, Frankie did the unthinkable.

Miss Frankie: Think they can outrun me?! Not on my watch!

Frankie then damages the cat nose shaped device for Terry that is just like the one he used to outrun Korvo from the second season as it began to glitch.

Miss Frankie: Get ready shitheads!

The moon then shined on the glitching cat device as it began to changed the glitches’ color. That night, the officers came into the house where the party is at. The guests put on their cat devices and transforms into cute cats. But once Terry turns on his, it shock him painfully.

Terry: screams in pain What the fuck is wrong with mine?!! kneels down on the floor in pain as the full moon shines on him

Terry looks at the full moon and starts to scream in pain.

Officer #1: What the fuck! Hold your fire!

Terry’s body began to undergo some changes. His whole body develops green fur all over him, his body grows bigger and muscular as the growth causes his clothes to ripped into pieces, he develop cat ears on his head and a cat tail behind him, his nose turns into a cat nose and he develops claws on his hands and his feet turns into adult shlorpian-sized cat paws and then his teeth grew sharper that looks like a cat’s teeth.

Cat Partygoers: yowls and screeches in fear

Werecat Terry: Growls and Howls at the full moon

Officer: Holy fuck!

Terry then proceeds to kill the cops with his sharper teeth and claws as the partygoers turn back into their normal selves and quickly hid at the Whole Foods store where Korvo was getting stuff for the dinner party with the replicants and Pupa.

Nathan: Korvo! Korvo! You gotta get the fuck outta of here! There’s a werecat after us!

Korvo: Oh my god! What?! One of the cat devices must’ve been malfunctioned by someone! Quick everyone, disguise yourself in normal party scents so he won’t find you!

Werecat Terry continues to wreck havoc by attacking and killing citizens while accidentally spitting out a hairball, which disgusted some of the citizens.

Principal Cooke: Aaah! Run! Save yourselves!

Werecat Terry then turned but then gasp after seeing Whole Foods. Korvo, the Replicants, Pupa and the partygoers quickly smothered themselves in foods that always goes with normal parties, but without any clothes.

Korvo: smothering birthday cake all over himself Okay, I got my scent covered. What about you, kids?

Yumyulack: trying to smother himself with different types of pudding Quick Jesse before he catches me. I’m too young to be cat food! Oh my God, we’re all gonna-

Jesse: slaps Yumyulack on the face while smothering her own body with ice cream Get it together bro! Nobody is gonna die! You hear me?!

Pupa: smothering himself with chips Yeah!

Korvo: What about the rest of you?! Are you ready now!

Partygoers: just finished putting on their party scents Ready!

Korvo: Okay, now quick! Take cover!

Terry shows up as soon as the Replicants and the partygoers hide, but Korvo was about to get to his hiding place once Terry pounced on him.

Korvo: gasps Holy bullocks! screams in horror as he cries in tears of fear

Werecat Terry: growling but then calms down Huh? K-Korvo?!

Korvo: What the? It can’t be! Is that…. Terry?

Terry starts to feel overwhelmed but Korvo gently touch his face.

Korvo: Terry, it’s me! Korvo! Your lifemate, your worker husband in crime, your life-Korvo.

Werecat Terry: B-but….

Korvo: You’ll always be my Terry.

The sun then rises the next morning as Terry suddenly sees smoke all over his body.

Werecat Terry: Aaah!

Korvo: T-Terry? Terry, speak to me!

Then a normal human-sized green twister appears around Terry as it swirls around him, but as it fades, it doesn’t show the werecat Shlorpian, it now shows Terry, back to his normal self but in the nude sadly.

Korvo: Sweeetie! pummels on Terry and kisses him affectionately on the lips

Terry: The sunrise worked! I’m me again! And now, where were we?

The two worker husbands in crime went back to kissing each other once Frankie and the officers came in.

Miss Frankie: Goucha! Huh?

To her shock and horror, she now sees the relived partygoers who woke up along with the Replicants and now they sees Terry, now smothered in single lonely person food, getting carried lovingly by his cake-covered Korvo as the two kiss.

Miss Frankie: What?! No! Noooo! It was his here. You guys saw the werecat, did you?

Person: Hooray, the sun scared him. Yay!

The crowd cheered as the food-covered Solar Opposites and the partygoers walked out of the store in victory and triumph.

Yumyulack: Come here you guys!

The messy Solar Opposites shared a group hug then thought about something.

Korvo: We can’t keep doing this forever! We must unbanned ourselves from dinner parties!

Darcy: the partygoers that is covered in wine I know how! shows them her plane

Terry: The Solar-Opposites are unbanning themselves dinner parties!

This morning was better for the team. They are no longer banned from dinner parties, but Terry and Korvo must now learn to control their new beast abilities. But, once trouble starts, they’ll be ready. However for Miss Frankie….

Miss Frankie: Think they can make me look crazy huh? Well, I’ll show them! Boys?! Two of her thugs showed up and show her a suitcase that contains a needle full of monstrous steroids You’re next kids! laughs evilly as she looks over the pictures of Yumyulack, Jesse and the Pupa on a billboard with photos of Korvo and Terry with X’s on them that shows her plans to get back at the aliens

Ch. 4: Hulk Shlorpian Yumyulack

Yumyulack was putting posters up for his locker. But he is still getting beaten up by his boy classmates.

Jayden: Up your ass Yumyudork!

Yumyulack growl in fury. Jesse came up and began to worry that her brother might go on revenge.

Jesse: Uh hey Yumyulack. How you doing? You okay?

Yumyulack: No! I’m not fucking okay! Grr! That’s it! Payback is gonna fucking happen, once I get to use animals poison.

Jesse: No, you have to work out if you wanna beat them up.

Yumyulack: The last time I went to that stupid gym, those muscle assholes were once fucking losers who took steroids that makes them buff up and- suddenly gets an idea Wait a minute…. develops a mischief grin on his face

Jesse: Oh noo. Yumyulack, don’t do it! Don’t-

Yumyulack: I’m gonna take these muscle drinks!

Jesse: Aw geez.

Two hours later, after school ended, Yumyulack went up to find where he can get the things that make people get muscle, until….

Miss Frankie: wearing glasses, an moustache and a trenchcoat Ahem!

Yumyulack: Huh?

Miss Frankie: disguised manly voice Hey kid. Heard you want the good stuff right?

Yumyulack: Yes. It’s the steroids right?

Two of Frankie’s goons came out and brings out a suitcase with the needle that is glowing purple.

Miss Frankie: Here! Take this suitcase. This needle will give you the strength you desired!

After the goons closed the suitcase, they handed it to Yumyulack as the latter grin in joy.

Yumyulack: Yes! I’ll finally get payback! Fuck you schoolmates of mine!

As Yumyulack run off victoriously, Miss Frankie and her goons snicker evilly. Later, at the Solar Opposites’ house, Yumyulack prepared to inject the needle when he suddenly heard the knock on the door.

Korvo: muffling Yumyulack! Open up!

Yumyulack: I’m busy Korvo!

Terry: knocking the door

Korvo: muffling Now!

Yumyulack: I’m coming geez!

Yumyulack quickly hid the needle under his bed and opens the door.

Terry: Hey honey. How you doing? Heard you had a rough day. Principal Cooke called.

Yumyulack: Oh sure. Yes, a group of guys punched me, but I’m okay. Things are good now! See you when dinner is ready.

Yumyulack starts to push his two adults out of the door as the two lifemates grew concern about this.

Korvo: Alright, you’re hiding something. What is it?

Yumyulack: It’s nothing Korvo! Fuck off!

Yumyulack slammed the door, leaving Korvo and Terry concern about one of their replicants. Yumyulack quickly grabbed the needle and injected in his arm as he groans in pain.

Yumyulack: groans and sighs in relief Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

Unknown to him, Jesse heard the whole thing and backs away once Yumyulack exits their room and went to the workout room. Two days later, Korvo, Terry and Jesse starts to grow concern about Yumyulack. His behavior started to change, his eyes glow blue-purple every time he is upset and he started acting aggressive to everyone around him, including his classmates.

Braden: Hey look! It’s Yumyudork!

Aiden: I am so gonna enjoy this!

Once Aiden grabbed Yumyulack by the arm, Yumyulack’s eyes glow again as he finally snaps and slams Aiden in the face by the locker.

Yumyulack: FUCK OFF AIDEN!

Principal Cooke: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What the fuck is going on here?

Aiden: Dude, that fucking bitch just slammed me into the lockers. Do something!

Suddenly, Yumyulack snapped again and grabs Jaiden and throws him across the wall as it created a hole.

Students and Teachers: screams in horror and quickly evacuated the school

Principal Cooke: Holy fuck! What have we done! We created a fucking monster! Run for your lives!

Yumyulack starts panting in fury as he suddenly develop muscle on his arms. Meanwhile….

Terry: tidying up the kitchen with Korvo while humming

Korvo: Gah! His hand was cut by a sharp item Grrrrr! starts to transform

Terry: Oh my God! Heal Korvo! Fucking heal! It’s okay! I’m here! It’ll be okay.

Terry holds Korvo’s hand as Korvo calms down and regains control of himself as he washes the blood off with cold water.

Korvo: This is awful Terry. We have to learn to control ourselves. These monstrous forms can be very deadly.

Terry: Good point! We have to control our monster forms before we can find the cure. phone beeps Hold on, I’m getting a text message.

Korvo: sees what it says but grows horrified along with Terry Oh my god! Yumyulack!

The two aliens grabbed their Pupa and quickly drives over to the now nearly destroyed high school at sunset. Then, they see Yumyulack, who started to lift weights, while growing larger and muscular.

Yumyulack: Grrr….MAKE…..HUMANS….FUCKING….PAY! smashes a barbell and roars

Korvo: Oh my God…. joy in his eyes My little replicant has reached his growth spurt! Stops and realizes what happened Oh wait a minute, right! Clears his throat Yumyulack! I demand an explanation! Why are you suddenly gigantic and strong?! And why the fuck did I get a text from Principal Cooke saying you beaten up two of your schoolmates, mister?

Yumyulack: snaps and grabs Korvo DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!

Korvo: choking Gah! Yumyulack, put me down!

Terry: Holy shit! Yumyulack is turning into The Fucking Incredible Hulk!

Yumyulack throws Korvo at Terry as the two adults screamed but look in horror as Yumyulack grows more taller and muscular as his shoes ripped, his pants and shirt is half torn and his voice got deeper.

Hulkyulack: YUMYULACK SMASH!

Hulkyulack which is the nickname for Yumyulack as a hulk Shlorpian smashes the walls and roars. He then ran out of the school and heads towards town.

Korvo: Yumyulack!

Terry: Korvo, we gotta save him before the army comes for him!

Jesse: driving a scooter Don’t worry, I have an idea to train you guys once we save Yumyulack.

Korvo: No. I have an idea!

Terry: Korvo, no! You’ll get killed by him.

Korvo: I know, but Yumyulack is still my little sapling. The monster is my replicant and right now, he needs his adult!

Korvo grabbed one of the scooters and quickly rides it to find his replicant as Terry, Jesse and Pupa look in worry.

Korvo: Korvo’s coming Yumyulack! Korvo’s fucking coming for you!

Korvo then drives up to see Yumyulack destroying half of the town. He then sees an army tent and gasp on what they’re about to do.

Korvo: Oh shit! They’re gonna blow him up! Hang in there, kiddo!

Korvo quickly heads over to Yumyulack but starts to transform.

Korvo: Fuck no. Not now!

Korvo manages to keep his sanity in check as he sees Yumyulack about to throw a destroyed part from a building in anger.

Korvo: Yumyulack! Stop! I’m here, mister. I’m here. You’re gonna be okay. You’re okay. Korvo’s here, please snap out of it. You’ve gone out of control. I’m sorry these few months have been rough. But Korvo is here, and I still got you. I love you.

Yumyulack prepares to launch at Korvo in anger but Korvo quickly transforms into his ogre form and grabs Yumyulack with embrace.

Hulkyulack: Huh? struggles to get free but suddenly calms down once Korvo starts soothing him Wh-what?!

Ogre Korvo: I got you son. It’s okay.

Yumyulack then starts to feel overwhelmed but his messed up monstrous emotions and breaks down crying into Korvo’s chest as Korvo continues to soothe him, just like he did when Yumyulack was just a sapling.

Ogre Korvo: Shhh. It’s okay. It’s alright, I got you Yumyulack. You’re okay. wipes the tears from Yumyulack’s eyes You’re safe kiddo.

Hulkyulack: I’m sorry. kept on crying in Korvo’s chest

Ogre Korvo: I know Yumyulack. Come on, let’s get you home.

The two monster Shlorpians left town as the humans look in shock. Later, the two made it home with Jesse trying to keep Werecat Terry distracted from any primal instincts with a yarn ball which got the Pupa’s attention as he starts playing with his adult.

Pupa: Yarn ball! plays with it with Werecat Terry but then gasp upon seeing a tired out Yumyulack Yumyulack!

The Pupa went up to hug Yumyulack, who has fallen asleep, but start to calm down as his effects started to wear off, as well as Korvo.

Jesse: Yumyulack! Is he-

Ogre Korvo: No. But, he’ll be fine.

Jesse: crying as she hugs Yumyulack Oh thank heavens.

Werecat Terry: purrs on Korvo’s legs as Korvo blushes lovingly

Ogre Korvo: But how did Yumyulack get like that?

Later, they check the Replicants’ room and sees the needle under Yumyulack’s bed as they gasp.

Jesse: Oh no! I knew this would happened! Yumyulack must’ve gotten so tired of being beaten up by his schoolmates, he must’ve taken this thing.

Ogre Korvo: But who gave him that needle?

Miss Frankie then sneaks into the bedroom and puts a serum in a tube on the Pupa’s bed.

Ch. 5: The Pupa’s Another Big Day

The Pupa was resting on his bed while Korvo and Terry were busy. Then, he sees the bottle.

Pupa: Oooh. drinks the serum Aaah.

Suddenly, the Pupa started to grow larger as he grew spikes on his back and sharp teeth underneath his mouth as he starts to grow scared.

Pupa: crying Korvo! Terry!

Terry: Hmm? Pupa?

Korvo: Aw, must’ve want to watch Moana. suddenly hears walls creaking Wait a minute! Something is wrong! grabs Terry

Once the two adults made to the living room, they gasp at the Pupa’s growing size once he starts crying.

Terry: Oh no! Pupa! It’s gonna be okay. Oh my God, what do we Korv? What did you do wrong? What did I do wrong?! What did we do wrroooonnnnggg! No-ho-ho-ho!

Korvo: I-I don’t know. How could this even happen to our little Pupa!

Terry: Don’t worry Pupa, everything’s gonna be okay. We’ll get everything you need. Come on Korvo!

Once Korvo and Terry let the living room frantically, Pupa started growling and roars very loudly that the lights went out in every neighborhood.

Neighbors: screaming

Giant Pupa: Roar!

The Pupa busts through the wall as he heads towards town. Yumyulack and Jesse, who were just waking home from school, saw the people in shock and horror was they watch the Pupa making his way through town, roaring. The two replicants look at each other and then hugged in fear.

Yumyulack and Jesse: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Terry: Pupa! We’re here and we got everything that you li-

Korvo: Oh my God! The Pupa! Where the fuck is the Pupa?!

Jesse: He’s heading towards town.

Terry: Oh my fucking God! Our sweet little Pupa is in trouble! And we don’t know where he is in town!

Korvo: crying Not our sweet innocent Pupa!

Jesse: Our little bro is a giant! I can’t believe it! crying

Yumyulack: Why is this happening to us? The Pupa is our baby of the family!

Terry: I know! But, now he’s in big big big trouble again. Pupa! Where are you?!

Korvo: Pupa, where the bullocks are you?!

Jesse: Pupa! Where are you?! Pupa!

Yumyulack: Come out wherever you are! Pupa!

The entire family breaks down in tears as they hug each other, worrying about the Pupa’s safety. The Solar Opposites then got in the car and started driving around town, looking for the Pupa.

Solar Opposites: Pupa? Where are you?! Pupa, we miss you so fucking much! Where are you our little baby boy? Pupppaaaa! Come back here! We miss you! crying

Suddenly, the family heard a roaring in the distance, which belongs to the Pupa.

Korvo: Over there!

Yumyulack and Jesse: Pupa!

Terry quickly drives the family over and sees the Pupa taking apart a billboard with Baby Shark on it.

Giant Pupa: Baby Shark!

Solar Opposites: Aaaawwwww.

Terry: That’s so cute.

Jesse: Isn’t that adorable?

Yumyulack: Yeah.

Korvo: All the Pupa wanted do was to just look around. Isn’t that fucking sweet?

Jesse: Yeah.

Suddenly, a giant grenade appear and it shock the Pupa, which caused him to drop the billboard.

Giant Pupa: Ow!

Solar Opposites: screaming as they ran away for safety from the falling billboard as it collapsed

Giant Pupa: Wwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhh! giant tears fall out of his eyes

The people ran away in fear from the giant tears. The Solar Opposites look at their crying Pupa, but grew enraged once they saw the people who shoot the grenade.

Jesse: Hey! Those bastards shocked our Pupa and him cry!

Terry: Those motherfucking assholes! Nobody shocks our Pupa with a giant grenade and gets away with it!

Korvo: Alright fuckers! It’s so fucking on!

Yumyulack: I’ll take care of them! You guys take care of the Pupa!

The Solar Opposites quickly sprang into action as the Pupa continue to cry. Yumyulack then sees the guy who shot the grenade and begins to fight with them while controlling his inner beast.

Yumyulack: growls as his eyes start to glow but manages to calm down as the glow disappears Keep it together Yumyulack! The Pupa needs you, and so does your family. Let’s fight! Bitches!

As Yumyulack fights off the four goons, Jesse got on the Pupa and starts to sooth him.

Jesse: There there, Pupa. We’re here for you. Your family is gonna take great care for you.

Korvo: Pupa! Look what Terry and I got for you!

Terry: It’s your favorite stuff teddy bear, Mr. Fuzzlbuttons! presses the tummy that plays music

Giant Pupa: crying Huh? dries his tears Fuzzlebuttons?

Terry: That’s right Pupa. It’s okay. Your family is here.

The Pupa began to calm down as it grows back to his original size and got his teddy bear as Terry picks him up.

Terry: Pupa! gave Pupa to Korvo, who starts soothing him as the Pupa weeps while calming down

Korvo: Oh Pupa! Thank goodness you’re okay! Everything’s gonna be okay!

Jesse: Yay! There’s the Pupa we know and love! kisses him on the cheek multiple times

Yumyulack: comes down with the goons he tied up while doing a Wonder Woman pose

Korvo: sigh What a showoff.

Yumyulack: Pupa? Oh thank goodness you’re okay.

Korvo: Group hug time! And it has to last forty-five seconds or we’re starting over!

The Solar Opposites embrace their Pupa and each other with tears of joy in their eyes as they smile. The group hug ended as the Solar Opposites looks at the goons in disgust and outrage over what they did to the Pupa.

Goon #4: What the fuck are you looking at?!

Korvo: growls as he kicks in the goon in the balls Fuck you, you goddamn cunt! Nobody hurts our little pupa!

Terry: Yeah Korvo! Dab it!

Pupa: Yay! Korvo!

Yumyulack: Alright Korvo!

Jesse: Yeah! When you messed one of the Solar Opposites, you mess with the rest of us!

Terry: Stay away from our kids you bitch, cause if you dare lay one finger on Yumyulack, Jesse and/or the Pupa, venom in his voice you got another thing coming!

Korvo: Come on team! Let’s get the hell outta here before the cops show up!

As for the goons, they are about to have some huge trouble once they see an angry mob of mall customers staring at them in disgust, believing this whole thing was an attempt child murder for the Pupa.

Customer #1: Dude, what the fuck?

Costumer #2: Were they trying to murder a kid?

Stacy K: You bastards!

Marie: What the fuck? That thing is just a baby!

Principal Cooke: Let’s get ‘em, guys!

The costumers swarm around the goons as they beat him up. Later, the Solars head home after a trip to Wendy’s, but are now exhausted.

Terry: yawns Well, I better go to my room, before I transform and figure out how to get that nose off of me.

Korvo: We did a great job today, team. Let’s get some rest.

The family heads inside with Korvo putting the Pupa to bed. But then, Jesse sees a glowing pink lipstick in her makeup set and gasp.

Jesse: Hmm.

Ch. 6: Demon Jesse

As she put on the glowing pink lipstick, Jesse thought about something. All her life, Jesse wanted to be with the Stacies, but she always miss that chance every time. Terry then knocks on the door.

Terry: muffling Jesse? You almost done?

Jesse: Uh yeah, I’m done. I’m heading out now.

Jesse walks out of the door tiredly as she heads to her room. She then puts on her pajamas and looks at the mirror sadly.

Music in the background: “Beautiful” from Christina Aguilera

Jesse then heads to bed as she sheds a little tear in her eye, as if she was feeling left out by her transformed family. But as she falls asleep, a glow appears on herself. She then started to have nightmares like Turning Red, one that involves her two adults, her brothers and the Stacies and their friends insulting and blaming her for ruining their lives, a muscular demon looking at her, a spirit of a demon flying through and a shadow of herself as something terrible….. a muscular monstrous demon Shlorpian! Jesse awakes from her nightmares in fear as she breathes in and out in tears.

Jesse: Nnnnooooo! breathes in and out as she begins to cry

Yumyulack: wakes up Hey Jesse, what’s wrong? You having a nightmare?

Jesse: breaks down in tear as she hugs Yumyulack Oh Yumyulack, it was horrible. Everybody was blaming me, there was a monster and I turned into one and…and…

Yumyulack: Hey it’s okay. Just get some rest, you’ll be fine in the morning.

Jesse worriedly head back to her bed and head back to sleep. But then, the next morning…

Jesse: yawning

Terry: yelling from downstairs Kids! Breakfast is ready!

Yumyulack and Jesse: Coming.

After Yumyulack finished getting ready for school, Jesse heads into the restroom. But once she looks at the mirror, she suddenly sees glittering spots all over her body with different shades of pink as she gasp in horror.

Jesse: screams in horror as she slams the door

Korvo: Jesse?! Damn it Terry, did you scare her about this puberty thing again?

Terry: What? Pfft, no. That’s ridiculous, Jesse’s growing up, she knows about this stuff! starts gloobering

Korvo: sigh I know what she needs.

Jesse quickly started to panic as she looks around her body.

Jesse: Oh my God! What is happening to me?! crying but stops once she realizes something Wait a minute, I look perfect! This is just like what the Stacies use to wear. I think my luck is changing! The girls are so gonna love it! I’m gonna be the most popular girl in school!

Jesse’s imagination daydream shows up inside her head as it shows the Stacies and their friends adoring Jesse’s new look.

Stacy K: Oh my God Jesse, you look so fucking cool!

Stacy F: I totally wanna be your friend!

Dylan: Kiss me Jesse!

The daydream ended once Korvo knocks on the door.

Jesse: gasp Korvo!

Korvo: Jesse! Jesse, open the door! I got the stuff you need!

Jesse: puts on a pink jacket Yes. Thank you so much.

Korvo: Here you go. Just in case you start your zeroid. hands her puberty stuff

Jesse: Gee thanks Korvo. Well, better get ready. Better get breakfast.

Later, the Replicants head to school. Jesse head inside the girls’ bathroom where she takes off her coat.

Stacy F: offscreen Holy fuck! Jesse?

Jesse turns around and gasps to see the Stacies and their friends looking at her.

Stacy K: Oh my God! That’s so fucking cool.

Marie: You look like a princess.

Stacy F: Do you wanna hang after lunch?

Jesse: Yes. suddenly notices a horn appearing on her forehead Huh?

Stacy F: Great, see you then!

As the Stacies and their friends left, Jesse started to panic once she notices the horns looks like a demons’ horn as she panics.

Jesse: Oh no! This is awful, I have to do something or the Stacies are gonna kill me! gets a pink fedora and puts it on her head to hide her horn Phew. Okay, time to get Stacied!

A montage occurs which involves Jesse hanging out with the Stacies and their friends while Jesse tries to hide her horns. Yumyulack grows worried and suspicious about his sister. Later, he heads home where Korvo and Terry were busy restraining themselves due to their side effects from their monster forms.

Yumyulack: Korvo! Terry! We need to talk, I think Jesse is hiding something and-

Korvo: holding his arm that is glowing blue Not right now Yumyulack. Terry and I are busy trying to control ourselves.

Terry: restraining his arm that is growing green cat fur and it glows light green Korvo, we have to keep trying! We have to gain control before-

Yumyulack: I know how! You guys, we have been controlling ourselves by not letting our frustrations get the best of us. We just kept on going whenever trouble burst around here. Because, we’re the Solar Opposites!

Korvo: He’s right! We have to stop! We have full control!

Terry: We got this guys!

As said, Korvo and Terry manage to gain control as their arms turn back to normal. Suddenly, Terry sees the glowing pink lipstick Jesse put on and grow suspicious.

Terry: What the?

Later, in the lab, Korvo gasp once he ran DNA tests on the lipstick as the gang screams in horror.

Yumyulack: What the fuck is happening?!

Terry: That thing can turn someone into a demon?!

Korvo: But who used it? None of us are even girls! Damn it!

Suddenly, the three aliens’ eyes shrink in horror as they suddenly realize who put it on.

Terry: Holy fuck! Jesse!

Yumyulack: Terry! Wait! hold his hand out

Terry quickly got in the taxi and tells the cab driver where to drop him off. Back with Jesse, she tried her best to hide her looks, only for her to grow taller and muscular and her horns grow larger too as her hands develop claws on them.

Jesse: Aw man, this is getting worse, but at least the Stacies didn’t know.

Suddenly, she hears talking and laughing coming from outside as she hears the Stacies.

Stacy K: Can you believe that loser Jesse totally believed we wanted her to be our friend? laughing That bitch is really a slut.

Stacy F: Yeah, we only hang out with her because the sparkles.

Dee Dee: I know, what a loser.

The Stacies and their friends laugh as Jesse turned around in shock with a jaw drop.

Jesse: All this time… the Stacies only liked me…. voice suddenly gets distorted FOR MY SKIN?! growls I can’t believe they fucking tricked me! Those fucking skanks! smashes a mirror with her fist as her eyes started to glow dark pink Ugh, I can’t believe this! Why doesn’t anyone care about me for being me?!

Terry: runs into the school once he suddenly sees the sunset and gasp Oh no! Jesse!

Back in the girls restroom, Jesse growls as she finishes growing, her back gains magenta demon wings, her teeth became demon fangs and she started to growl once the Stacies enter the room.

Stacy F: What the fuck?!

Demon Jesse: roars loudly

Stacy K: Aaaaahhh! It’s a monster! Run!

The girls run for their lives as Terry runs past them and gasps once he sees Jesse finishing her transformation. The full moon then appears and Terry turns around to see the moon as he starts transforming.

Terry: Oh shit.

Terry turns into his werecat, and after yowling at the moon, sniffs for Jesse as he growls. Suddenly, he sees a mysterious being with dark pink eyes. Once he turns on the lights, he sees Jesse, now a monstrous she-demon with a ruined dress growling at him.

Werecat Terry: gaining the ability to speak but with a different voice Holy fuck! Jesse?!

Demon Jesse: Roar!

Jesse punches Terry and begins to attack him in blind rage as they got out of the school while Terry tries his best to restrain Jesse.

Werecat Terry: Jesse, stop! You have control yourself. You’ve gone crazy!

Demon Jesse: Nooo!

Werecat Terry: Aaah, my poor little Jesse! She’s gonna crazy! What do I d-

Before he could do something, Jesse grabs him and prepares to lift him but suddenly, Jesse’s demon eyes became normal as she tries to regain most of her sanity.

Demon Jesse: normal voice No-ho!

Jesse quickly drops Terry as he groans but suddenly sees Jesse growing scared as her voice grows distorted again.

Werecat Terry: Now’s my chance. walks up to Jesse Jesse, it’s me. Terry, your adult. It’s gonna be okay sweetie. Korvo and I are gonna help you. We’ll figure out this transformation thing, but please control yourself, babygirl.

Jesse then tries to attack Terry again, but then Terry quickly grabs her hand and starts soothing her.

Werecat Terry: Shhhh.

Demon Jesse: T-Terry?

Werecat Terry: Yes sweetie, it’s me. Terry.

Demon Jesse: I-I’m… what happened to me? I’m so scared! Terry, what am I gonna do? I’m a monster…….breaks down in tears as Terry comforts her.

Werecat Terry: Shhhh. There there Jesse-bear. Terry’s here. It’s gonna be okay. I got you.

Terry soothes Jesse as a scene flashes back to a memory of Terry soothing Jesse as an infant. The scene switches back to the present as Jesse calms down and smiles at Terry. The adult and replicant hug each other, “Father and Daughter” from Paul Simon played in the background as the two decided to head home.

Werecat Terry: Come on Jesse-bear. Let’s go home.

Unknown to them, Miss Frankie has been watching them this whole time as she growls in fury.

Miss Frankie: That’s it! I have had it! Time to take matters into my own hands!

Ch. 7: Darkest Hour

Miss Frankie dial the police and prepares to invoke her final phase to her plans. The next morning, Korvo was cleaning the reactor until he heard a doorbell.

Korvo: Huh? sees the police outside the window Oh shit, Terry! Did you steal another bear?!

Terry: No! We vow to not do that again! Remember?!

Korvo: Then why are the fucking cops outside?!

Terry: I don’t know! Let’s just go find out!

Once Korvo and Terry open the door, the cops pummel on Korvo as the Replicants and Pupa came downstairs in fear.

Police Officer #1: Hold it right there Korvo Solar-Opposites!

Korvo: chocking Gah! What the fuck is happening?!

Terry: Oh my God! Korvo! tries to get to him by the cops hold him back while they put his face on the ground

Yumyulack: Guys! What’s happening?!

Jesse: Oh my God! Korvo! Terry! Are you okay?!

Pupa: No! Don’t hurt Korvo and Terry!

Officer Lady #1: You and your alien husband are under house arrest for stealing illegal chemicals from the facility!

Terry: What?!

Korvo: No we didn’t!

Officer #2: Oh, then what’s this?!

The cops open a gym bag that reveals some chemicals, the ogre ray, a screwdriver and the steroids that Yumyulack used.

Korvo: What the? Is that my missing ogre ray?

Terry: Is that a screwdriver?!

Yumyulack: Guys! I think those are the stuff that got us turned into monsters!

Jesse: You don’t understand officers! Someone set us up!

Officer Lady #1: Sorry, but this evidence confirms it. You two are hereby officially under house arrest for three months.

Solar Opposites: What?! Three months?! No! Are you fucking kidding me right now?! You monsters! What the fuck?!

Korvo: You don’t understand we’re innocent! We didn’t make these! Some of our stuff were stolen! Someone set us up!

Officer Lady #2: Yeah yeah! Tell it to the judge, asshole!

Terry: crying No! You can’t do this to us!

But it was too late. The officers put house arrest devices on Korvo and Terry as they drove away, leaving the two aliens scorned.

Terry: Korvo, what are we going to do?! We have to do something! We have to get cured before the cops found out about our monster forms!

Korvo: I don’t know. But, we’re gonna find out who did this to us once and for all.

Terry: gasp You mean we’re gonna…

Terry and Korvo: Break in the lab tonight and figure out who the culprit is so we can make an antidote to save ourselves from the beast within us?!

Korvo: Fuck yeah Terry! Let’s do this!

Terry: Hell yeah! Let’s fucking go!

Korvo: Terry, wait! We first have to get those fucking devices off of us because it will summon the cops!

Terry: But how? Every time we try to take these off, they keep shocking us. tries to take it off but he got shock

Korvo: Damn it! You’re right! There has to be a way to get these off without getting shocked again.

Terry: But Korvo, how the fuck are we gonna do it?

Yumyulack: Ahem!

Korvo and Terry turn to see Yumyulack with a screwdriver.

Yumyulack: Need any assistance?

Korvo and Terry look at each other a clever smirk. Yumyulack manage to get the house arrest devices off of his two adults and put them on their bed’s handle.

Korvo: Thanks Yumyulack!

Terry: Hell yeah! We’re fucking free baby! Jesse! Pupa! Group meeting!

Jesse and Pupa comes in the bedroom where the Solar Opposites group huddle to discuss their plans.

Korvo: Okay team, here’s our plan! Yumyulack, Jesse, Pupa! You head to the laboratory where the cops found the stuff that turned us into monsters and figure out the person behind all of this!

Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa: On it! Let’s do this! Yay!

Korvo: Terry and I will stay here and figure out how to outrun the cops, because they might grow suspicious!

Terry: Hell yeah! Looks like the Solar Opposites are breaking out of their own prison!

Korvo: Let’s do this!

Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa quickly ran off to head the laboratory while sneaking past the cops. Korvo and Terry prepare to weapon themselves once they hear a cell phone ring.

Terry: I’ll get it! picks up the phone Hello?

Miss Frankie: disguised voice Hello, this is your culprit speaking.

Terry: Wait, what?!

Korvo: Give me that! takes the phone from Terry’s hand Who the fuck are you?

Miss Frankie: I just wanted to let you know that I was the one who sent the police after I told them about the stolen chemicals that were taken from the laboratory.

Korvo: Wait, how did you know about-

Miss Frankie: Simple. I was watching you this whole time. Waiting for the right move to put the cops on you?

Korvo: What the fuck are you taking about?! You didn’t say anything about-

Suddenly, a realization hits Korvo and Terry’s heads as they grow disgusted.

Terry: gasp It was you? You did this whole monster thing?! This whole time?!

Korvo: You did this! You’re a fucking psycho! You set us up!

Terry: You used us, you fucking monster!

Korvo: gasp The Replicants! Pupa! We have to warn them Terry!

Miss Frankie: Oh and don’t worry about your kids. They’ll be ours for the taking!

Terry: You sly motherfuckers! You won’t get away with this! Stay away from our kids!

Miss Frankie: Don’t worry, you’re up next.

Korvo: growling If! You! Dare! Lay! One! Finger! On! Our! Kids! So! Help! Me! I’ll-

Miss Frankie: Relax, it won’t hurt a bit. We’re about to send some reinforcements! Have fun being under house arrest! evil laugh

Korvo: No!

Terry: No!

Korvo and Terry’s eyes started glowing as they started to transform.

Korvo: No! voice gets deeper You’re crazy! We won’t let you!

Korvo and Terry prepare to head out of the door when they saw a cop arriving.

Korvo: Get ready Terry! You up for this?

Terry: Hell yeah! Let’s do this!

Korvo and Terry finished their transformation once the cops arrived.

Ogre Korvo: ROAR!

Werecat Terry: Yowls

The two transformed monsters beat up the cops while the neighbors ran for their lives as Korvo and Terry head off to save their Replicants and Pupa.

Ch. 7: Big Trouble

Yumyulack, Jesse and Pupa quickly head inside the laboratory while Miss Frankie and her goons follows them.

Yumyulack: Okay, let’s just keep quiet so no one can hear us!

Jesse: Okay!

Pupa: Aha!

The kids heads towards the lab where they found the stuff that turned them into monsters. But then they found the cures

Yumyulack: The antidotes! Jesse, we can be cured!

Jesse: Alright, let’s get out of here and get these stuff to Korvo and Terry and prove our innocence-

Miss Frankie: wearing a disguise Not so fast you little brats!

Yumyulack and Jesse: gasp

Pupa: Oh no!

Miss Frankie points a gun at the three alien children as they hug each other in fear.

Miss Frankie: I finally got you right where we want you.

Yumyulack: What are you talking about?!

Jesse: Wait a minute, notices the stuff are those the stuff that- grows angry Hey, you’re not being very nice!

Yumyulack: You guys did this! You motherfuckers! You turned us into monsters!

Jesse: You won’t fucking get away with this!

Pupa: Yeah!

Miss Frankie: Well guess what?! I just already have! Boys?!

Two of Frankie’s goons grabbed Yumyulack and Jesse as they screamed while the Pupa gets trapped in a net.

Yumyulack: Hey! Let us go you assholes!

Jesse: Put us down now!

Pupa: Help! Terry! Korvo! Help me!

Miss Frankie: evil laugh That’s right, wait till your two daddies come after you and try to save you!

Yumyulack: You won’t get away with this whoever you are!

Miss Frankie: Too late, I just did. Have you met Simone? Say hi Simone!

Jesse: Who’s Simone?

Suddenly, a giant mutated Goliath woman named Simone appeared as Yumyulack and Jesse gasp just right before they started to transform into their monster forms.

Yumyulack: struggling to break free once he started to hulk out Terry! Korvo!

Jesse: struggling to break free once she started to transform into her demon form Terry! Korvo! Help us!

Miss Frankie: That’s right, transform so Simone can-

Suddenly, the Pupa transforms into his giant form and roars in fury.

Giant Pupa: Bad monster!

Simone: roars

Pupa and Simone then started fighting until Simone escaped through the walls after pushing the Pupa outta the way.

Miss Frankie: Aw, what the fuck? Get back here you fucking idiot!

Goon #1: Uh, ma’am?

Miss Frankie: WHAT?!

Miss Frankie then gasp once she sees Yumyulack and Jesse transforming into their monsters forms as they growl and breaks free from the captors.

Miss Frankie: Holy shit! Let’s get the fuck outta!

Miss Frankie and the goons escape just as soon as Korvo and Terry arrived.

Ogre Korvo and Werecat Terry: KIDS!

Yumyulack and Jesse finished their transformation as they roared very loudly.

Miss Frankie: Oh no you don’t! gets out a gun that shoots a silver bullet

Hulkyulack and Demon Jesse: gasp

Ogre Korvo: No!

Werecat Terry: Replicants!

Korvo and Terry quickly grabbed their Replicants as the bullet hit Korvo.

Ogre Korvo: Gah!

Werecat Terry: Korvo! Are you okay?

Ogre Korvo: notices no bleeding on him Holy fuck! I’m bullet proof!

Werecat Terry: screeches Nobody shoots at my Korvo!

Terry tries to attack the goons as they escape.

Ogre Korvo: Children, are you okay?!

Demon Jesse: Yeah.

Werecat Terry: Oh thank goodness. We were so worried, thank the fuck you’re okay. kisses the Replicants on the foreheads

Hulkyulack: Thanks for coming for us.

Ogre Korvo: We’re just so glad you kids are safe. Come here.

Despite being transformed into monsters, Korvo, Terry, Yumyulack and Jesse hug each other in tears of joy. But then, Terry notices someone missing.

Werecat Terry: Wait, where’s Pupa?

The Solars then turned around and gasp in horror once they see the Pupa fighting Simone.

Werecat Terry: Oh my God! Our precious baby!

Demon Jesse: Pupa! No!

Hulkyulack: growling That’s it! These guys have messed with us long enough!

Ogre Korvo: Nobody harms our little Pupa! Come on guys, we got a Pupa to save.

Werecat Terry: Hell yeah!

Ogre Korvo: Let’s go stop that monster and save some lives!

Ch. 8: Final Battle

The Solars made it to fight the monster and help their Pupa, but the Pupa is about to get hurt.

Giant Pupa: gets punched by Simone in the face Ow! whimpering

Werecat Terry: Pupa!

Terry claws Simone to get her away from the Pupa. Pupa then see Yumyulack and Jesse and hugs them in a big hug.

Giant Pupa: Yumyulack! Jesse!

Demon Jesse: getting squeezed Good to see you to Pupa, but can you please let us go now?

Giant Pupa: lets them go Okay.

Hulkyulack: We can hug later! Right now, we have to stop Simone!

Terry tries to attack Simone, but then Simone flings Terry at a building. Enraged, Korvo fights with Simone as he continually punches her in the face.

Werecat Terry: Got your back, sweetie!

Terry joins in fighting side to side with Korvo. The two nod at each other while resuming the fight.

Ogre Korvo: Kids?

Hulkyulack and Demon Jesse: On it!

Yumyulack uses his strength to distract Simone while Jesse uses her super sonic screams to weaken Simone. Suddenly, Simone grabs Jesse as she gasp. Yumyulack sees his sister in danger and springs into action.

Hulkyulack: Hey! Hands off my sister you fucking bitch!

Yumyulack punches Simone in the face but then Simone grabs him too. Jesse breaks free and then sees Yumyulack in trouble.

Demon Jesse: You piece of shit! Leave my brother alone!

Jesse then sonic screams at Simone, who drops Yumyulack, but Jesse manages to catch him.

Demon Jesse: Gotcha bro!

Hulkyulack: Thanks sis. Let’s go punch that bitchface in the mouth. Pupa!

Giant Pupa: Yay!

The Pupa grabs Simone and flings her back and forth to the ground. Terry and Korvo watches in amazement as they grew proud of their children.

Ogre Korvo: Way to go kids!

Werecat Terry: We’re so proud of you guys!

Simone tries to break free but Yumyulack and Jesse managed to pummel her.

Hulkyulack: Now what do we do?!

Werecat Terry: Leave that to Korvo!

Ogre Korvo: What?! I don’t know. What if I lose control?

Werecat Terry: You’re not gonna lose control. Because, we manage to control ourselves in our monster forms while struggling. You got this Korvo, you’re our mission leader. The best one we ever have.

Hulkyulack: We’re with you Korvo!

Demon Jesse: You got this big guy!

Giant Pupa: Yeah! Korvo!

Werecat Terry: put his hands on Korvo’s shoulders as he prepares to launch him Go get him babe!

Terry launches Korvo, who roars as he lands towards Simone and manages to pound her to the ground as she started to grow weak. With her weakened, the family decided to finished the job.

Ogre Korvo: Quick, Yumyulack! The antidotes!

Yumyulack puts the antidote in a building-sized sprayer as he presses the button.

Hulkyulack: Hurry Korvo!

Korvo then gives Simone one last punch as he roars. Korvo then breathes in and out as Terry comes over and hugs him. The antidote started to spray all over the Solars and Simone as the family stand in triumph.

Ogre Korvo: breathes in and out tiredly while cover in blood It’s over….it’s finally over.

Werecat Terry: Let’s get out of here before people sees us.

Demon Jesse: But are you sure the antidotes are working?

Hulkyulack: I hope so. Come on, let’s get the fuck out of here!

The Solar Opposites then head to a hiding place without anyone looking at them while the unharmed humans emerged from the rubble.

Ch. 9: Epilogue

Once the Solar Opposites hide, the effects began to wear off as Terry, Jesse and Yumyulack started to transform back to normal.

Terry: breathing in and out as he turns back to normal with the cat device destroyed and fall off of his face Oh my God. It worked, the goddamn device is off my face! I finally got it off! Yes! No more fucking hairball! suddenly spits out a hairball Aw fucking sick.

Jesse: turns back to normal once her wings disappeared Yay! The pain in my back is more! gasp once she notices her dress is half torn and cover it Holy fuck!

Yumyulack: sighs once the steroids disappeared Well, I am sure gonna miss those muscles. But at least I’m back to normal.

Terry: I’m so proud you two hugs the Replicants as they smiled

Giant Pupa: burps and turns back to normal

Terry: Hooray! We can hug the Pupa now!

Terry and the Replicants hug Pupa as the latter smiled. Suddenly, they noticed a worn out Korvo trying to turn back. Then, they realized they need to put on clothes.

Terry: Oh shit! Kids! We have to put on fully clothes! Quick!

After getting into their fixed clothes, Terry then notices Korvo finally beginning to transform back as Terry and the Replicants runs up to him with Terry carries Korvo’s clothes.

Jesse: touches Korvo’s arm with her hand for comfort Easy there Korvo.

Yumyulack: You’re gonna be just fine.

Ogre Korvo: breathing in and out calmly as he finally turned back to normal

Terry: Oh my God. Korvo. helps Korvo put his clothes on while the Replicants and Pupa look on worriedly It’ll be okay honey.

Korvo: finally back to normal as he breaths in and out and gets up It’s over. It’s finally fucking over. We did it fam. starts to feel faint as Terry catches him with the help from the kids The nightmare is finally fucking over.

Jesse: Group hug time guys. I love you guys.

Yumyulack: I love you guys too. But that’s just between us as a family.

Pupa: I love you guys. And I love Baby Shark!

Solar Opposites: D’aww.

Korvo: I love you all. Even though I hate to admit it.

Terry: Aw and I love you honey and you too kids. Come here.

The Solar Opposites get in a tearful group hug as the sun rises while shedding tears of joy. Korvo and Terry shares a kiss while continuing to hug their children. Suddenly…

Angry Mob: Get the monsters! Yeah!

Principal Cooke: Wait, huh?

The angry mob stops and to their surprise and total shock, what stood the ogre alien, werecat alien, hulk alien, giant baby alien and demoness alien are now the family of five aliens hugging each other.

Kevin: Hey, what happened to the monsters?

Principal Cooke: They’re gone….. WE’RE SAVED!

Mob: Yeah! Hooray! Fuck those monsters! Woo-hoo! They’re gone! We’re free! Yay! Fuck yeah!

Jesse: Huh? notices the mob What the fuck guys?

Mob: stops cheering Huh?

Jesse: Guys, those mysterious monsters saved us from Simone, who is now a fucking dead corpse of a woman. But, those monsters are misunderstood. These kinds of beasts have been tormented by a bunch of corrupted motherfuckers who were using it out of revenge. We shouldn’t misjudge monsters for what they are, we should just praise them for they are and try to learn to love them and-

Principal Cooke: Oh my God… what have we done… they’re just poor victims of an evil corrupted force who are trying to live normal lives until someone fucking turned them into ones!

Randall: What kind of people are we?!

The mob starts crying while Korvo and Terry comforts them.

Terry: It’s okay everybody. Those damn heroes are in a much better place now. Whenever they are.

Korvo: Hell yeah. Whoever those fucking monsters are, we’ll always remember them, as heroes.

The mob had a moment of silence while Korvo, Terry, who is also carrying the Pupa, and Yumyulack smiled at Jesse.

Terry: That’s our sweet girl.

Korvo: We’re so proud of you and your brothers.

Yumyulack: Awesome speech sis.

Miss Frankie then came in a huff, now furious as she stomps towards the Solar Opposites.

Miss Frankie: WHAT? THE?! FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK?!

Pupa: screams as he hides behind Korvo and Terry while Jesse picks him up

Yumyulack: Uh, you alright Miss Frankie?

Miss Frankie: No! I’m not fucking alright! You fucking aliens ruined everything! I was supposed to teach you guys a fucking lesson!

Principal Cooke: What?!

Mob: What?! Huh?!

Korvo: Uh, what the fuck are you talking about?

Miss Frankie: I was the one who did this to you guys! I was the crook who turned you five into monsters, just to teach you guys a thing or two for fucking up our lives! the Solar Opposites and Angry Mob gasp in horror I fucking hate you aliens so much! Ugh! To think?! The lies I told! The stuff I took to frame you two! points at Terry and Korvo

Principal Cooke: Uh, you’re scaring us man.

Miss Frankie: I even framed you with the stupid BBQ rib pig thing!

Miss Frankie gasps and covers her mouth as she notices the shock and horror from the Solars and the humans. The mob then summoned their weapons along with the Solars as they surrounded her.

Miss Frankie: Uh, I was kidding? nervous laughing

The Solars look at each other, clearly disgusted by Frankie turning them into a pack of giant savage beasts and framing them two seasons ago with the whole Peter the Pig thing. So, they got the perfect idea. 

Three hours later, Miss Frankie is seen strapped in a rope on a chair while wearing a prisoner outfit with her goons.

Miss Frankie: Uh, what the fuck is happening?

Solar Opposites: showing up with the nets with the fire ants as a punishment PAYBACK FRANKIE!

The family put the nets on Frankie and her goons’ hands as they scream in pain with the crowd jeering at her for what she has done to them, their beloved town and the Solar Opposites.

Principal Cooke: crying while eating a carton of ice cream Why Frankie?

Jesse: There there Principal Cooke, comforts Cooke things will be okay.

Miss Frankie: screeches in pain I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU FUCKING GODAMN ALIEN MONSTERS!

Terry and Korvo gave each other a toast while laughing slyly with a wine glass they drink. Later…

Terry: I am so glad things are back to normal, is on his bed at nighttime with Korvo now we don’t have to be under house arrest anymore now that we got the evidence to the police.

Korvo: clipping his nails while sighing Thank God, that’s fucking over. Things are finally back to normal. The Replicants and Pupa are fast asleep like little baby angels, you and I finally got rid of those awful devices and now we can finally relax. suddenly accidentally clipped the top his toe and roars like his ogre form

Terry: gasp and hugs Korvo It’s okay Korvy. I’m here, your Life-Terry’s got you.

Korvo: finally calming down Sorry Terry, don’t know what got into me.

Terry: It’s okay. Right now, we just need some sleep. kisses Korvo on the forehead affectionately Goodnight honey.

Korvo: Goodnight.

The two adults head to sleep while snuggling towards each other affectionately despite the ruined blanket covers shown from Terry’s werecat form’s teeth and claws and fur too as the credits role.

The End

Notes: Sorry if I made some changes but I have to correct some things. Oh and I hope you like the full chapter everyone.

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