#{/parallel to his whole slippery slope of 'i will not do this bad thing.... *eyes emote*'}

[blindedguilt]

Emotion Meme - Leonard (DOD1)

◈ ANGER.   jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, passive aggressive, direct physical outbursts, verbal outbursts. //

◈  JOY.  easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy.

◈  SADNESS.  crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates & processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better. //

◈  EMBARRASSMENT / SHAME.  blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks  ->  lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate. //

◈ GUILT.  avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, overactive guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt / conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others. //  

◈ FEAR / ANXIETY.   trembling, crying, sarcasm / sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewelry / clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, overreacts  OR  underreacts, calm, logical, panicked, irrational, overthinks  ->  carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight  ->  fight, withdraw, fawn. //

Tagged by: I stole it from @glorytomankind lmaoooo I tag: @voicelesshatred, any of the chaps at @etgloria (And/or @booksofthelibrary/@amorfati-rp if you’re up for it!!), @lacrimedelleroina, @innsmaw, and @laplacemail. If you see this and you wanna do it, please, by all means~ (I know there were a couple poor souls Tumblr wouldn’t let me tag beyond this, so... lmao)

#||Meme|| #{/to clarify the bold/italics are the CERTAIN ones; bold is just on and off/im unsure lmao} #{/but....} #{/ooOOOOHHHHHHH this made me think of the different ways this guy processes stuff through verses and like} #{/after a bit of thought I decided to specify this was DOD1 lmao} #{/BUT THE ALCOHOL THING} #{/i've found two (2) sources where leonard just... casually drinks and granted one is a gag thing which ended horribly but the other} #{/it's in mag neg where both me and aadah were just 'i didn't know you drink' and he doesnt say a fucking word} #{/the poor chap gets his drink stolen at the end but knowing how sr ended up it's probably for the best} #{/so...... maybe....? i want to develop it into a semi-hdc? it would be a good; clearer and uh} #{/m u c h s a f e r} #{/parallel to his whole slippery slope of 'i will not do this bad thing.... *eyes emote*'} #{/give him two minutes and this fool will cave and do the bad thing} #{/though he would be much easier to just directly cave to alcohol despite KNOWING he shouldn't; given that's his general} #{/temperment and.... *motions to everything* Can you blame him?}

[seokjinsonlyone]

Not My Type | 3

pairing: jungkook x female reader

summary: "She's a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful."

genre: friends to lovers

warnings: none; jimin here tho being flirty and stirring the pot <3333

rating: pg

wc: 1.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Jungkook’s newfound hobby was driving her crazy. One too many times had their little lunch rendezvous made its way into her mind in the past week. The way he sniffed her hair oddly enough was a recurring playback. She had a thing for weirdos and Jungkook could definitely be classified as that. And, that was exactly why she needed to shut this whole thing down.

Now, she considered herself a progressive individual. She didn’t mind change as long as it was for the better. She didn’t have a problem evolving her relationship with a friend. In fact, she preferred it. Always said that if she was gonna get into it, she wanted to be with a friend. But, this particular friendship wasn’t the one. It wouldn’t make sense. There was no way it could possibly be better.

They were like oil and water. They didn’t mix. Which was fine as a friendship, they could peacefully coexist. Anything more than that, however, would be an unnecessary burden. And, her life didn’t need to be anymore difficult than it already was. She wanted an easy love. It was this line of reasoning that carried her straight to her best friend’s house.

“You need to talk to your friend,” she announced, waltzing into Jimin’s home, throwing her purse on the couch before finding him sitting at the island eating cereal.

He looked up. “I’ve already told you should just ask Taemin out. He’ll most likely say yes. He thinks you’re hot. Stop trying to get me to create scenarios.”

“And, I’ve already told you I refuse to pursue a man. No matter how dreamy and evil he is,” she sighed.

In all honesty, she probably would’ve gone for it if it weren’t for the fact that she could tell he wasn’t really into her. Not in the way she would’ve liked for him to be into her. He flirted with her in person (and in her dms), held her in a way that made her stomach jump after a few drinks, but ultimately his goal was a few nights in the sheets. And, that just wasn’t her thing. She didn’t do casual. Didn’t like to invite people into her life that weren’t going to stay. So even though she thought they could be good together, she was deciding to let this one go. If he couldn’t see what was right in front of him that was on him.

“You’re gonna end up alone.”

“You must realize that I am my favorite person.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about Jungkook.”

“What he do?”

“He’s been acting weird ever since last week.”

“What happened last week?”

She sucked her teeth. “You know, when we were all here?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, pupils shifting from side to side, visibly racking his brain trying to recall what happened at his place last week. “Oh! Wednesday! I was so drunk, bro. What happened?”

“Ugh. You don’t remember asking me to rank all of y’all from most to least my type?” Typical Jimin. Cause trouble then dip.

“What’d you rank me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I ain’t doing this again.”

He dropped his legs from the footrest of the barstool, tugging her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist. “Mmm. You couldn’t handle me either way.”

She’s not gonna lie, her heart skipped a beat. But, that’s the only reason he did it in the first place. He knew it flustered her on some level. So, she decided to play along for once, bringing her hand up to toy with the hair that rested at the back of his neck. “Baby boy, I could make you cry,” she whispered seductively.

He made a face, then pushed her away turning his attention back to his cereal. “You’re gross.”

“You started it,” she accused, laughter bubbling up at his reaction. He was CEO of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Always in the mood to dish it out, but hardly able to take it in return.

“So, what’s going on? Why do I need to talk to him?”

“Because I told him he wasn’t my type, and now he’s trying to convince me that he is.”

He choked. “What?”

“He literally showed up at my work the other day and brought me lunch.”

“That was more so directed at you saying Jungkook isn’t your type.”

“He’s not.” He raised his eyebrows, smirking conspiratorially. “He isn’t,” she insisted.

“So, you didn’t used to drool over him when you two first met?”

“See why you gotta go and bring up the past.” She wouldn’t say that she had a full blown crush on him, she didn’t know him and therefore couldn’t actually like him, but for a minute she was down bad. She wasn’t expecting to meet him when she did. Jimin had wanted to hang out and asked for a ride. He was with Jungkook when she picked him up and she was effectively caught off guard. Before she even realized what she was doing, she was out of the car and shaking hands with him in greeting. The next few weeks were spent trying her hardest to be in his presence. She never said more than two words to the boy, but yeah she was down bad. Once her hormones subsided, though, they eventually developed a friendship. A friendship that needed to stay a friendship. “Besides, I never said he wasn’t hot. I’m saying our personalities don’t match up. It wouldn’t work.”

“You aren’t that different from each other.”

“Yeah, but we’re wrong in just the right ways. It wouldn’t work.” He was right in saying that weren’t all that dissimilar, but it was because of that that she was sure starting any kind of relationship with romantic intent would go up in flames. The two were like parallel lines. Never meant to cross. Adjacent, but never intersecting. As they should.

“It sounds to me like you’re just afraid of what could happen.”

“Hold on there partner. I didn’t come here to be lectured or psychoanalyzed. I don’t even think he likes me for real, but he’s heading down a slippery slope. I just want you to talk to him before he goes and starts something that’s gonna get his feelings hurt, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see what I can do.” One thing about Jimin was that he was nosy. Had absolutely zero qualms about getting all up in other people’s business. Knowledge equals power is what he always told himself. So, if she hadn’t come to him voluntarily offering up this information, he would’ve picked up on it sooner or later, inserting himself in the middle of it all. As it stands, he’s been giving explicit permission to do some digging. All he has to do is wait for the opportunity to arise.

The opportunity came a few days later. Jungkook was sitting on his couch, phone in hand, completely zoned out when Jimin pounced.

“So... Y/N?”

Jungkook startled at the mention of her name. It wasn’t like he was just thinking about her. He definitely wasn’t about to text her. He hadn’t spent the past minutes in a daze typing, deleting, and retyping messages to send. Nope. “Huh?”

“Y/N? What’s going on with you and her?” Jimin asked again.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on,” he feigned innocence, voice raising an octave. Even though, for all intents and purposes, there really wasn’t anything going on.

He looked him up and down, raising an eyebrow. “That’s not what she said.”

“What did she say?” She talked about him?

“You tell me.” He smirked sitting down, crossing one leg over the other like some kind of therapist.

“I don’t know. We had lunch,” he mumbled.

“Why?”

“Because I thought she might be hungry.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that she said you’re not her type?”

He blew raspberries into the air. He couldn’t lie to Jimin even if he tried. The man always managed to see right through him. A consequence of nearly ten years of friendship. “I’m just trying to get to know her better,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“Because she’s nice.” Which wasn’t the complete truth, but if he admitted that he thought she had stars in her eyes he’d never hear the end of it.

“She’s a lot more than nice, so you need to be careful.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that she’s one of the best people I know, but she’s stubborn and once she has an idea in her head it’s very hard for her to let go.”

“So you think I should stop?”

“I think you shouldn’t go into this blind, is all I’m saying. Whatever you’re doing, probably won’t be easy. And, I don’t want you to get hurt. Or hurt her. What do you plan on doing if you manage to make her like you? If you’re not serious then I think you should stop.” Jimin patted his shoulder, then got up leaving him to his thoughts.

Jungkook heard what he was saying. He did. And, he was right. He hadn’t been thinking too hard about what he was doing. Honestly, he was just following the skip in his heartbeat and so far that led him to her. There was a very real possibility of him getting his feelings hurt. She was very strong willed. Couldn’t budge her mind with a bulldozer. So, if she was dead set on being against this, there wasn’t much he could do anyway.

Still, this wasn’t something he could let go of easily. He had no intentions of hurting her. It wasn’t just some conquest for him. That much he was sure of. He would hate to get closer to her, have her catch feelings for him, then dip because he wasn’t feeling it. But, he seriously doubted that would happen. It’s not like they were complete strangers. He was just seeing her in a new light now. And as much as he didn’t want anyone to get hurt, at this point he didn’t know if this was something he should even avoid. It didn’t seem like it.

Truthfully, he didn’t feel this way often. This pull he now felt toward her. He was usually much too caught up in trying to be the best version of himself he could be to entertain thoughts of others. However, right now she had his attention and he didn’t want to look away. He opened his text thread with her typing and finally sending a message before he could overthink it.

[10:53pm] jk: lunch tomorrow?

#bts fic #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook drabble #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction

[rinisbowen]

1/2 I saw the last ask (I am talking about the anon, not you here) and I wanted to say that Gina and Ricky being the main leads isn't an argument for them becoming a couple. If PW will break up, Val won't be the reason. It will be a repeat of Ricky, Nini, Gina triangle. Ricky won't be the reason either (repeat of Ricky, Nini, EJ triangle). This will be just bad writing and won't work with either of Gina's or EJ's story (they deserve to be put first for once). The only way I see PW breaking up is

2/2 if EJ goes to college somewhere far away (Gina wants sm who sticks around). In s2 their relationship was shown as a healthy one. Regarding the miscommunication, it is sth that any couple can work through. Rini didn't broke up bc of that, but bc of wanting different things (main reason). The only bad seed planted is the college situation. I tried to make an objective analysis bc I saw so many theories (that won't work with the story) and unfounded arguments (ex: Gina and Ricky being leads).

--

hi anon! thanks for the ask. this is definitely an interesting subject, hence all of the conversation around it haha.

there are definitely some slippery slope type arguments being made right now, and always honestly. i won't deny that at all, because it's very true. but i'll note it's hard for people in fandom in general not to snowball small details into bigger things because of how little information we have at times. people like knowing things, and when we don't know things, we start to make things up that at least sort of fit what we do know. that's what i'm doing, that's what everyone's doing. extrapolation is not an exact science, especially with how small a pool of data we're gathering from.

i agree with a good bit of what you're saying here.

i'm personally a lot less inclined to use the nini / ricky / gina love triangle from season 1 as a parallel to expand from in a general sense, mostly bc it's a lot harder to grasp the nuances of it than it is the ej / nini / ricky love triangle from season 1. with ej, nini, and ricky, it's all made pretty clear textually what's going on. i think people miss some of the points still to some extent, because ricky didn't actually take nini off of ej, ej ruined that of his own accord, (plus nini didn't love him like she did ricky, so that makes it a lot simpler), several episodes went by, things shifted, then nini chose ricky because she still loved him and being with him started to make sense for her again. it's obviously more complicated than that, but it's still a more cut and dry triangle than the nini / ricky / gina one- so i'll probably use that one more as a point of comparison, though i think i do understand your analogy.

--

val is not going to break ej and gina up. neither is ricky. like you're saying. not a single character is benefitted here by either one of these characters getting in the middle of the situation. i like what you mention about being "put first". i see this framing a lot in portwell discussions i feel like, and it's a good point. people talk about the whole like- "second chance at love" thing with them, and it's a pretty good reading of the situation. neither was put first in their respective last relationship (in ej's case) / and i'll say- situationship (in gina's case).

nini was admittedly actively avoiding dealing with the ricky thing while with ej, and she tried her absolute hardest to focus on ej, and how "amazing" he was. but that was never going to last, because her heart inevitably still belonged to ricky. so even if ej was where she put her focus, her eye kept wandering to ricky.

ricky also wasn't actively looking at nini when he was sorta like- hanging out with gina. we get more of nini's perspective on all that than anyone else's bc imo the point of this was for nini to be jealous. but gina's also not ever had a relationship before, so i'll extend this whole thing beyond ricky. she has never allowed herself to be connected with someone deeply, so no one's ever done that for her in general. i don't think you call yourself the President of the heartbreak club over one singular missed connection. but then again, if you've only ever let one person in, it's likely that hurts all the more for its loss.

as a side note: jack was fantastic, big fan of the banter there. he was fun.

--

i agree that things between ej and gina were pretty healthy. most if not all of the relationships on this show are, despite all the conflicts we see.

i won't get into rini's breakup here because i have way too much to say about that, and it's not super relevant, but i'd agree that it was more complicated than mere miscommunication. i don't know if it entirely boils down to wanting different things either, because finding what he "wants" is something ricky is very much still working on. but i also definitely get what you're saying.

--

personally, i do think college becomes less of a problem if he's staying in salt lake, or at the very least, in utah. but i don't think that necessarily prohibits college from being an issue for them, especially with the passage of time. it's a hard thing to figure out, because this ship is in for some big problems, and i think the sooner people accept that the better. it's just going to be a matter of what they can work through, and what they can't, or what they choose not to.

because sometimes that's how it goes, right? it's not that you can't fix it, but that it's easier to just close the chapter, because it's not worth risking what's left. that's sort of just me waxing poetic, not me trying to make any assessments about the potential portwell arc next season, but it's true and i wanted to add it! so i did. i'm referencing "let you go" a bit here / ricky's conversation with his mom, but it applies generally as well.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: speculation #hsmtmts: analysis #answered #anonymous #ship: ej x gina ( hsmtmts ) #ship: ej x nini ( hsmtmts ) #ship: ricky x gina ( hsmtmts ) #ship: ricky x nini ( hsmtmts ) #//lowkey maybe i need triangle tags to keep things less messy bc the analysis i'm applying to triangles more than the ships themselves #// i don't tag ships in the normal format on purpose so- i think triangle tags may be in order soon #//and by soon i mean when my inbox doesn't have asks the same length as some of my responses in it waiting for me

[not-freyja]

2017 T’hy’la Fics of the Year

 The top 20 kirk/spock fics on ao3, according to Kudos (complete only):

1. a sequence that you never learned by annataylor

"'Spock,' Jim breathes out, completely overwhelmed by the gesture—not quite believing that Spock knows him so well, that's he's already started researching, that he trusts Jim with a member of his own endangered species."

When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

2. Magpie by waldorph

Spock met Jim when he was 7 and Jim was 6. It has since been generally agreed that this was a mistake (or: the one where they grow up together and things are simultaneously better and worse for it).

3. The Genetic Soap Opera (or, One of the Less Dignified Royal Weddings) by waketosleep

Turns out Jim Kirk's more than meets the eye, genetically speaking. There are a lot of consequences, mostly for Spock and his sanity.

4. Treasures by yeaka

Sometimes the other Vulcans wonder how Spock managed to obtain such an exotic bondmate, and sometimes Spock wonders himself.

5. So Wise We Grow  by Deastar

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

6. Objective Data by walkandtalk

A young Vulcan decides to find a mate for his guardian, Spock. After careful calculations, Cadet Kirk is obviously the superior choice.

7. Helloooo, Nurse! by lalazee

Jim Kirk is the only male nurse on the Enterprise. He’s also the only one with any experience with Vulcan biology. You can guess who he’s been assigned to.

8. Antigravity by sinestrated

Five times Spock was surprised by the brilliance of Kirk's mind, and one time he totally saw it coming.

9. Atlas by distractedKat

Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning.

10. master of a nothing place by strzyga

spock is stripped of his logic on an away mission gone bad and turns feral, incredibly violent and utterly brutal. when he comes across jim, though, he is possessive, protective, and even affectionate.

11. Entering Orbit by museaway

Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch.

12. Bluebird by waldorph

“Jim Kirk.” Jim whipped around so fast most of his drink ended up on Spock, who was reaching for the phaser that wasn’t there. The Enterprise crew was parting like the biblical seas before Moses, and Jim could feel the temperature dropping. “Mom,” Jim croaked.

13.  Please don’t touch the Vulcans by museaway

The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. 

14. Once Upon A TIme (A Fairytale Love Story) by littlebirdtold

In a universe with no Federation, where First Contact never happened, Jim Kirk is your average popular guy. On Christmas Eve, thanks to a series of strange events, Jim finds himself in a parallel universe where the Milky Way is under the control of an alien race and ends up as a servant in the residence of the Royal House of Vulcan. As he starts adapting to his new life, Jim's curiosity fucks everything up—but hey, Vulcans shouldn't have told him that he isn't allowed to enter this wing of the palace; Jim has never been good at following rules.

Or,

This is the story of how Jim Kirk became a Princess ("Prince Consort, Bones!") of the United Planets of Vulcan Kingdom.

15. Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) by kianspo

In which Spock contemplates the laws of attraction and realizes what a slippery slope that is only after he has already fallen. There's no help for him now.

16. Hi, You Were My Husband in Another Life, Professor by littlebirdtold

Um, hi. I'm Jim. Jim Kirk. You don't know me, but I know you. Well, sort of. It's a long story. All of this started when I… Actually, no, it started when my mom got it into her head that… well, it's kind of complicated. Long story short, I accidentally ended up in another universe and... Look, I know it sounds crazy, but in that universe, we—the other me and you—are married and you're the crown prince of Vulcan Kingdom. It does sound crazy, I know. Fuck, I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't really know you—hell, I'm not even sure I want to know you. It's not like I think you and me… I'm just curious, I guess. You'll probably ignore me anyway; I know I would if I were a Vulcan and got a call like that from some stranger. Fuck it, it was a stupid idea. Bye, Spock.

[18-year-old Jim ends up in Once Upon a Time's universe. When he gets back, Jim's curiosity gets the better of him. And then things become complicated. Academy AU.]

17. Misscommunication by sinestrated

Jim's brain gets scrambled during an away mission gone wrong, with interesting results.

18. How We Are (but not how we’re going to be) by alpha_hydra

Even when they hate each other, they're still sort of falling in love.

19. Ni’Var by WerewolvesAreReal

Humans have daemons. Vulcans have katras. Spock, born of both, has neither. Which he's fine with. Really. Meanwhile, James Kirk is a little curious about this whole daemon business, because how the hell can he have two souls - ?

20. Jealous Orbits by dreamlittleyo

In which Kirk and Spock have had sex half a dozen times, but this time it counts.

#fic rec #top 20 #spirk #t'hy'la #space husbands

[mittensmorgul]

4.04: I’m not even gonna bother trying to meta why this episode is relevant to s12, because I feel like we’ve also done it to death... just read these excerpts and substitute “Ruby” to “the Men of Letters.” Because they are the identical same kind of shady, and Sam had been on the identical same kind of slippery slope.

DEAN: Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human? SAM: I'm just exorcising demons. DEAN: With your mind! What else can you do? SAM: I can send them back to hell. It only works with demons, and that's it. DEAN: What else can you do?! SAM: I told you! DEAN: And I have every reason in the world to believe that. SAM: Look, I should have said something. SAM: I'm sorry, Dean. I am. But try to see the other side here. DEAN: The other side? SAM: I'm pulling demons out of innocent people. DEAN: Use the knife! SAM: The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year. DEAN: That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? DEAN: Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends. SAM: I'm not gonna let it go too far. DEAN: It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't you know... I would wanna hunt you. And so would other hunters. SAM: You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you. And what I'm doing... It works. DEAN: Well, tell me. If it's so terrific... then why'd you lie about it to me? DEAN: Why did an angel tell me to stop you? SAM: What? DEAN: Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me everything is all good?

and then, on their way to their next hunt, Dean tells Sam all about what he learned in 4.03, about Mary being a hunter, and about her deal with Azazel... and Sam accidentally lets yet another hidden truth slip:

SAM: It's just, our parents. And now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth DEAN: Sam, I never said anything about demon blood. DEAN: You knew about that? SAM: Yeah, for about a year. DEAN: A whole year? SAM: I should have told you. I'm sorry. DEAN: You've been saying that a lot lately, Sam. But whatever. You don't want to tell me, you don't have to. It's fine.

Added to the list of Things That Might’ve Been Nice To Know Before >.>

But the BIGGEST theme of 4.04 relevant to s12 (and I’m thinking of 12.16 here for the clearest example of it) was Sam’s insistence that there might be a “cure,” or at least a way for a “monster” to still live a normal life and not succumb to his inevitable destiny.

SAM: Look, everything you said checked out, of course, but uh. I found a couple of interesting stories about people who have this rougarou gene or whatever. See, they start to turn, but they never take the final step. [...]

TRAVIS: Good on you for the due diligence, Sam. But those are fairy tales. Fact is, every rougarou I ever saw or heard of... took that bite. SAM: Okay, well, that doesn't mean that Jack will. TRAVIS: So what do we do? Sit and hope and wait for a body count? SAM: No, we talk to him. Explain what's happening. That way he can fight it. TRAVIS: Fight it? Are you kidding me? [...] TRAVIS: That's what we are to him now, meat on legs. I'm sorry. I'm sure he's a stand-up guy, but it's pure, base instinct. Everything in nature's gotta eat. You think he can stop himself 'cause he's nice? SAM: I don't know. But we're not gonna kill him unless he does something to get killed for.

They try to tell Jack the truth about his situation, about what he is, and he doesn’t believe it, because it all sounds entirely unbelievable. He refuses to listen, despite the evidence of his own recent experiences.

But in the end, what drives Jack to make the change? It was Travis behaving exactly the way the BMoL are now, in that mindset of preemptively killing all the monsters before they even do something to deserve it.

We never really learned whether or not Jack would be able to “control” the change, because Travis didn’t even give him the chance. And it cost him his life.

But what prompted the change? What prompted Jack to kill Travis? TRAVIS THREATENED HIS WIFE AND UNBORN CHILD. His family. 

Which really creepily also connects this to the entire Kelly Kline/nephilim arc this season. Hey, monster babies, and should we kill them (and possibly their completely innocent mothers), just on principle. Because, ewwwww.

Heaven, up in that first quote from the transcript, had threatened to do the same thing to Sam. To “stop him.” Yet another intolerant parallel between Heaven and the MoL.

Back in s4, we were supposed to be “on Dean’s side,” because Sam was rapidly sliding down that “slippery slope” he’d been warned about. He’d drunk the Kool Aid demon blood, and bought into the lie Ruby was selling him. There was no “not letting it go too far.” Sam wasn’t in control of any of it.

And now in s12, Sam and Dean have learned so much since then. They KNOW that becoming a “monster” isn’t what makes someone automatically monstrous. There are cures, there are entire monster families out there just trying to live normal lives. Sam says it to Jack:

SAM: But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster. It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It's your choice.

Very much like the choice presented to Mick at the end of 12.17. Jack chose “wrong.” Mick chose “right.” Too bad they both had to die for it.

#spn 4.04 #s12 meta rewatch #spn 12.12 #spn 12.16 #spn 12.17 #spn monsters #men of letters vs hunters #it's all shades of grey after all and he's only seen the black and white and the clean side of things

[mittensmorgul]

did you think anything of how emphatically Claire said "screw you" to Sam after his whole Toni Bevell encounter? it's sorta flipped but still Sam vs Very Opinionated Blonde

unplanned part 2 of Claire and Toni ask: Seeing a gifset of that scene has reminded me: all of that dialogue applies, not just the screw you. It's the 'You think you can just drop into my life and pretend you care?' 'We do care' part that really seems like the Bmol this season

Isn’t it amazing how part 2 can just hit you out of nowhere like that? :P

(seriously this is the inside of my brain, there’s unplanned part 2′s all over the place)

That’s a weird parallel here, especially since Claire was essentially in Sam’s role here...

And now Sam’s signed on with the BMoL...

What I found creepily ironic was I’ve seen a number of posts of Dean “calling out” Mick for being repressed, because lol Dean’s so repressed... (even though we’ve seen him very much changed lately. He at least is self-aware about it, anyway)

While Sam had this exchange with Claire, which paralleled them even more than the screw you did...:

Sam: Claire, why does Jody think you’re in Madison looking at colleges?Claire: You called her?Sam: *nods*Claire: Did you tell?Sam: No. Not yet. But why are you lying to her?Claire: Look, I... I know, okay? I know how much I owe Jody. But we tried the whole hunting thing. I just end up sitting in the car while she does everything.Sam: I guess she’s taking it slow.Claire: She wants me to be normal. Go to nursing school like Alex.Sam: Did she actually say that?Claire: She doesn’t have to. I’m better off on my own. This way everybody’s happy.Sam: Claire, Jody’s not gonna be happy when she finds out, and if something happened to you--Claire: I’m careful!Sam: You need to tell her the truth.Claire: You know what? Screw you. I’m so sick of you guys divebombing my life, pretending like you care--Sam: We do care.Claire: Then stop treating me like a stupid kid!Sam: Then stop acting like one.

And wowie is that short conversation a freaking meta GOLDMINE. I’d actually been meaning to write something up on it, because whoa nelly there’s a lot of subtext at work here.

I should probably make a numbered list or something.

1. First of all, Sam is calling her out ON LYING TO HER LOVED ONES. I mean... *raises eyebrow at Sam and mutters platitudes about casting the first stone and maybe checking that plank in your own eye...* I mean he’s 100% right here, but hypocrite much, Sam? When you’re still hiding some majorly sketchy truths about the BMoL from Dean? Like maybe everything involving the Colt? Yeah. >.>

2. Madison. Claire told Jody she was gonna be in Madison. While working a werewolf case. With Sam Winchester. Who’s about to have some MAJORLY BAD FLASHBACKS to Madison, the werewolf he couldn’t save and ended up having to kill waaaay back in 2.17.  Good thing Claire didn’t end up the same way Madison did...

3. All this college talk this season, from Mary wishing Sam could go back to college in 12.14 all the way back to her learning that Sam had dropped out of Stanford to avenge her death... Claire has already made up her mind that she DOESN’T want that life for herself. She CHOSE hunting for herself. Like Sam and Dean have. Nobody else has the right to make those sorts of choices for her. It’s her life. She gets all the votes. (freaking good for her)

4. Everyone’s happy this way. Just like Sam thought Dean was “happy” in 12.11. Just like Sam probably thinks Dean’s happier not knowing about the Colt Drama now. Lying, or just hiding the truth, never makes people happy in the long run.

5. The Screw You. The situation Sam was in at Toni’s mercy at the beginning of the season took away all his power to consent. It was rape, just like what happened to Claire in 12.16. Unlike with Sam, Claire had her agency returned to her, she wasn’t silenced or blamed, and even up to the last moment before Dean injected her with the risky cure, he confirmed that it was what she really wanted. Sam never got that.

But Sam has drunk the BMoL kool aid, or at least he thinks he’s got the situation under control.

(hint: he in no way has the situation under control)

He’s acting almost as sketchily as the BMoL regulars in the way he’s treated Dean over the last few episodes. And it was great to see Sam lash out against Mick over the fact he’d killed Hayden, but he still really needs to come clean to Dean. I think Sam’s just too intrigued by the scholarly aspect of the BMoL to want to cut ties, and he KNOWS Dean would override that decision if he knew the full truth.

Just like back in s4, regarding working with Ruby and using his powers and drinking demon blood...

Their entire conversation at the beginning of 4.04 could work for this exact situation too... slippery slopes, man. And Sam’s too caught up on the idea of doing something “good” even if the means and methods are abominable.

#spn 12.16 #spn s12 spoilers #claire novak #lady toni bevell #sam fucking winchester #lies and damn lies #spn 2.17 #spn 4.04 #Anonymous