#[eight minutes later]

[splickedylit]

You can't fight the role the Mother had in store for you

#Homestuck #Karkat Vantas #Eridan Ampora #Sollux Captor #Gamzee Makara #Kanaya Maryam #Aradia Megido #Tavros Nitram #Feferi Peixes #Terezi Pyrope #Vriska Serket #Equius Zahhak #Splickedydoodles #I started drawing Karkat last night at like nine PM and then I pretty much blacked out and woke up with these at eight AM #this style is VERY fun and relaxing to work in it turns out it's been a minute since I got in my flow that hard for a piece of art #keeping my shit fast and loose!!! painting all on one layer and going by the Vibes!!! #anyway here's these I might have to queue them to post later tonight too haha #I'm not good enough at delayed gratification to just wait till later when more people are on and I need to go to bed tbh

[compacflt]

icemav going on a cinema date?

i have thought about this one long and hard and: i don’t know how to write a one-shot about this that is compelling & interesting. But i CAN tell you ice & mav most assuredly DID go see titanic together when it came out 1997, probably as a joke, lots of semi-ironic “it’s a date!”s, and then left the theatre together three hours later overwhelmingly depressed & speechless

#they WERE holding hands halfway through too #and lots of self conscious posturing outside the theatre every time they go to a movie together #deciding how they’re gonna buy two tickets together and have it NOT look like a date to the cashier #‘okay. lll buy foxtrot eight; five minutes later you go up and buy foxtrot nine.’ #’but what if foxtrot eight and nine are taken?’ #‘then we’ll get echo eight and nine. failing that; golf eight and nine. i won’t do delta my eyes arent good enough anymore to sit in row D’ #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #asks #the navy ‘i like big boats & i cannot lie’ mindset…

[tangledinink]

i was feeling very eepy and not up to completing tasks so i took some adderall and let myself lay down for a nap with the thought being that the adderall would kick in and prevent me from sleeping for too long and then id be all ready to do shit when i woke up and folks. ima be honest the hypothesis did not quite play out

#me groggily emerging two hours later #i feel like the nap ate the adderall lmao #the intention was just to kind of lay down for like twenty to thirty minutes oops #txt posts #personal #oops #i hate having a body it is so senseless #the other night i slept for like. four hours before waking up super early for no gd reason #and i was like “its fine ill nap later its not like i have anywhere to be” #did not nap but also? energy was overall fine all day felt no urge to nap #last night slept a full eight hours and today im like #omg so eepy #need nap... sleepy... #and im like BRUH WHAT DO YOU WANT

[shima-draws]

I just finished Skypeia AGHHHFJHHHH it was so GOOD

#One Piece #My favorite arc BY FAR #It was really long! But it wasn’t Alabasta long!! #Also Noland’s backstory deadass made me tear up that shit was so sad #Idk this arc just really kept me hooked. Like there wasn’t really a point I got super bored #Even with all the fights going on #Also just realizing they mentioned Noland in OPLA too. Nami read Zoro the book while he was totally conked out #Anyway ANYWAY I really enjoyed it. Lots of fun character interactions #And Usopp actually getting to do stuff too?? MY MANS #Oh and Zoro’s look this arc. God he was STYLIN. I’m so weak for a man in goggles shut up. #Logically that should apply to Usopp too and you know what. Yeah. #G8 is next and I know it’s filler but I’ve heard nothing but praise for it #So I’ll probably watch it instead of skipping :’D #Shima speaks #Also I find it stupidly ridiculous and funny that YET AGAIN Oda said ‘Lol you thought x character was dead?? SIKE’ #Wiper got electrocuted and died like eight times but he’s fine actually. Also Sanji and Usopp got electrocuted too and were out #for like a full day. And then Enel zapped them AGAIN and Usopp was back on his feet like two minutes later. #Silly anime logic. It doesn’t make sense and I love it

[tswwwit]

the idea of dipper and bill having to act as a "normal" white fence suburdan home married couple bc of "blending in with community" to investigate some particular magical phenamone or a cult or a monster or whatever and dipper is suffering, and bill is suffering too but he's also having sick fun with horrid fascination as an insane demon does, and they ask mabel for ideas, they have a barbeque housewarming party-

-wont leave my mind, its been *days*

dipper: this sucks, people live like this???

bill: I KNOW! THIS SUCKS! *fascinated like a watching a trainwreck or natural disaster* AMAZING

Pine Tree shuts the door behind him very quietly. A gentle 'click' as the latch sets in place.

Bill looks up from where he was flipping through the newspaper. He puffs on his pipe - unlit, but hey! It's for the look of things! - and smiles.

"Hello honey!" Bill takes the pipe out of his mouth, bouncing a slipper on his foot. "How was the homeowner's association meeting?"

Pine Tree stares forward. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

Bill hums to himself, and smiles.

Domesticity! Such as it is. That wonderful white-picket fence, no magic, no monsters, and no chaos-

The paper under his hands tears slightly. Bill clears his throat, shuffling the pages. He gives up on the ruse of news-reading - whether or not those nosy assholes across the street are watching - and flips, nonchalant, right to the comics section. He already solved the crossword in his head ten minutes ago.

Easy. He's got this. It's only been, like a couple days. There are way longer cons he's played, and this one isn't the worst!

Besides.

He'll be damned if he breaks before his mortal does.

"I talked to Linda." Pine Tree's voice is flat. He slowly strides over to the window, and draws the curtains shut.

"And?" Bill prompts, sitting up a little more. Man, sapling's got a full thousand yard-gaze going! He watches with fascination.

"She's so glad to see that the," Pine Tree lifts his hands, making finger quotes. "'Non-traditional' couple is so," He swallows, holding down some simmering fury. "'Decent'" Bill's throat jumps, but. Nope, not perfect. The gagging noise still came through. But he nods, very seriously.

Acting.

"And," Pine Tree says, very slowly. Turning towards Bill, equally slow, and deliberate. "Even though she said I could water the lawn, since it's dying, now I can't water the lawn, because it violates some…" His hand clenches to a fist by his side. "Like, contractor agreement thing?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, honey!" Bill exclaims, with a perfect nineteen fifties voice - he's got that in the bag. "I'm sure it'll all work ou-"

"Except," Pine Tree strides in, planting hands on Bill's armchair, and staring him right in the face. "We're also getting fined for every day that the lawn is dead."

Bill can't help it. He snorts, face scrunching up. A full catch-22! Linda's got another thing coming, eventually. Once they track down this monster.

But hey! Bill can understand sadism, and contractual bullshit! If only Pine Tree wasn't around, he'd have made the trap appropriately lethal.

"Aw, rough day, huh?" Bill sets his pipe down, patting his husband on the shoulder. "Don't worry, honey, we'll-"

And Pine Tree yanks him forward. Gripping Bill's smoking jacket so tight that he hauls him nearly out of his chair. Bill blinks.

"If you call me 'honey' again," He mutters. "I'm going to murder you."

Bill can't stop his laugh this time, and as his cute little mortal rattles him back and forth -

Oh thank chaos, Pine Tree's the one broke first.

"Bill? This sucks." Pine Tree insists, teeth gritted. Shaking Bill harder now. He searches for words, he splutters - one hand waves at the air. "How does anyone live like this?"

Ha! Maybe now he gets how great he has it. No bureaucracy ! No trying to hide what you are from jerks who think magic is 'wrong'! No suburban life, no lawncare, and no rules!

Bill's mortal has too many hangups. You can explode any problem if you want to!

Pity he's not willing to do it with Linda.

"Hell if I know!" Bill exclaims, and surges up. He heaves out a breath, scratching at his neck. "Bullshit magical prejudice. Don't worry, kid!" He pats his husband on the back. "We'll get out of here in no time."

The monster that's preying on these mortals can't hide much longer. Once that's solved, Bill's contingency will kick in. And then -

"No, I found the vampire," Pine Tree says, half distracted. Bill does a double-take. What, he didn't mention that first? "I just, uh."

Bill wags a hand. Prompting.

And Pine Tree shrugs. Offering up an awkward smile. He rubs the back of his neck. "I…. kinda rigged her septic tank to blow once we got out of here."

Bill tugs him closer, beaming now. "Now that's a nice move!" He tucks his hands under Pine Tree's arms, but the human squirms away before he can pick him up. "It's what, a vicinity based setup?" A quick nod, and he grins wider. "Clever trick, kid." "I'd... ask if that's too much, but knowing you, it's not." Bill's cute little mortal punches him, adorably, in the stomach.

"Pfft, nah, that's nothing," Bill nudges him, and grins. Pine Tree's not the only guy who's heard some comments. "You should see what I set up for her house."

#Written in about fifteen minutes so sorry for any really dumb shit or typos #Queuing this for later #I'm going to sleep for five years now #Okay it was more like twentyfive if you count some edits #This is only one example but you KNOW they both hated that shit #SO boring #Dipper probably enjoyed the domesticity for like #Eight hours #Until it started weirding him out #And Bill just got FULL into his role #But if Dipper didn't break he was like within six hours of doing so #Less than half a day for full-on stir-crazy demon NEEDING some chaos #Good thing you solved it first Dipper or there wouldn't have been much of a neighborhood after #Arguably a good thing depending on who lived there #Nah they probably had some really nice neighbors nearby who brought them like #A pineapple upsidedown cake and welcomed them warmly #Bill would have spared them/their house because he has a special like for upside down desserts #Also because Dipper would have been mad at him if he hadn't #Neither of these two do well in perfectly suburban environments #Getting bored out of their skulls without some mystery or monsters or drama #The only result would be that one of them would create it #answers #Sorry for the dumb bullshit

[jarellquansah]

we need a word stronger than love to express how dear liverpool fc are to me

#thought about klopp's last fist pumps at anfield in may 💔💔💔💔 #thinking about trent at seventeen and now him eight years later being vice captain for his club and klopp guiding him through it all #i'm going thru the 5 stages of grief every 10 minutes x #well. ​love for you is larger than the usual romantic love it's like a religion

[jaeyunverse]

i’m 18 :’)

#it’s only 20 minutes past midnight and my parents already gave me the cutest gift ever 🥹 #i have a mock exam in the afternoon and my final exam starts a week later but i just know that this will still be the bestest day ever <3 #THE BIG ONE EIGHT I KNOW THATS RIGHT! (i cried bc i am no longer a child 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MOM..H.H..) #heeseung & jeno no one can stop us from being together now 😈 #will not say jk bc i am not jk. the minor is a major but that is the only difference between yesterday and today i am still the same amount #of delusional 😙

[mortimer]

i genuinely don't know what triggered this in me other than listening to music while high but after making like five posts about prog metal yesterday (and then continuing to talk about it for an embarrassingly long time in my discord server's music channel) this happened

#i listened to every ayreon concept album in order of release. #im going to rank and review them later but right now im busy mixing paints #also when looking at that number keep in mind a lot of these tracks are like 10+ minutes so this was like #idk eight to ten hours straight of listening to ayreon #m

[irregularbillcipher]

"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne

#imo on paper bill and kryptos have the healthiest relationship bill has ever had-- hell off paper too #BUT it's really just because kryptos has like nearly alway agreed with bill's decision making except for small bickery things #that really don't matter #YEAH kryptos has some weird bad upsetting feelings about the second dimension being destroyed but it's very much a #'oh wait the catharsis is wearing off' thing #while it was happening? the minute he realized what was going on he was all for it #bill isn't even inhernetly trying to manipulate andy this is truly just their Dynamic. which is unhealthy in itself but! not intentionally #andy is so lost in the 'bill is the best person i know and he's always right' sauce that he genuinely doesn't want ot argue with bill #he just assumes bill is correct and right and any weird feelings he ever has are just flukes #meanwhile bill just would not know how to react if andy suddenly started disagreeing with him on anything serious #like??? this is andy. andy's smart he knows what's up why is he suddenly being Stupid #he would not handle it well but also he'll never have to because they're so weirdly codependent at this point that this is just the Dynamic #and it's not flat out abusive like every other dynamic in bill's life but man. Man. #'i was eight years old before anyone was ever really nice to me and actually wanted to be my friend and now eons later we're #just enmeshed but we do genuinely care about each other and it's the closest thing to healthy that we know so we don't think we have to #change anything about our dynamic'

[ghosty-schnibibit]

in honor of the halloween season, enjoy this rendering of me looking for one for one of the dogs in the main bedroom of the house i'm currently petsitting for and finding the masked dummy their eight y/o put on the nightstand that absolutely scared the shit out of me

#'this will only take two minutes to color' i said. 'i'll just clean up the lines and shade it a bit' i said. THREE HOURS LATER- #once again proving to myself that drawing creepy shit is where my art style works the best lmao #not my most polished work but for a quick doodle that took more time to color than i thought it would i'm happy with it #for context i have also babysat for them before and said eight y/o is a super sweet kid and absolutely put this up to prank me #and after i got over the abject horror i did think 'man he's going to be excited when i tell him he got me with that' #also this happened at like 10 at night and it was storming and the rest of the house also tons of halloween decorations up #my nerves they were a jangled #my art #i did take a picture of it but putting photos the interiors of other people's houses online w/o their consent a no go for me

[blackvelvetofnight]

coworkers who you'd hang with outside of work but on shift you need to kill with hammers

#so many of our part time people are incredible but there are a few that make me homicidal #one of our people is so sweet but has that flaky hippie energy that Does Not Work in this field #one morning she came in and i was like ok i need you to stay with this person while i get literally all of this shift done #and she was like okay! 😃 and not even five minutes later i looked up from the eight tasks i was juggling #and she was wandering over to the coffee maker meanwhile the person was losing their fucking mind while she was pouring her coffee #like la la la tee hee ! #like with love and light meet me outside i just want to talk #a different day i had gotten everything done and had all my residents ready to go. meanwhile there was ONE resident left upstairs with her #and i heard screaming and pounding and was like christ ok and came up to check in with her and she was like haha yeah theyre really mad #and started going aww i bet you want to calm down right now wow youre going to regret being this mad later! #and i had to be like i need you to switch with me RIGHT NOW and shes all surprised like ok if you say so lol #i miraculously got everyone calm enough to get out the door and pulled her aside like HEY person who has worked here for nearly two years #when someone is not only upset but so escalated theyre trying to KICK DOWN A DOOR #you should not be like haha i bet you want to calm down sooo bad rn #and she was like lol thats a good point! 😃👆 #like im going to throw you down a well

[longagoitwastuesday]

I break out laughing for several minutes from time to time whenever I remember the bunch of stuffed people they had in the German musical

#The fight Cyrano has with seven/eight/one hundred men is the Cyrano actor in the middle of the stage fighting the plushes they throw him #One of the plushes is hanging from a rope and it looks a bit like they're hitting him with a corpse #It was almost The Brotherhood 2 levels of hilarity #Why didn't they just ask someone around to put on a costume and appear for ten minutes is beyond me lol #I'm so fond of this musical xD #They literally have seven and a half actors and a bunch of plushes but it's one of my favourites #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later #Cyrano de Bergerac #I'm this 👌 close to start uploading some fragments from some of the productions I've watched since I've saved them for myself anyway #And several of the clips I have half a mind of posting are from this production #The traveler of the Moon scene. Perhaps the first scene with Le Bret which is so funny and cute #Maybe the balcony scene mainly because of how much I laughed when he moved that tree xD #And perhaps I could make some gifs with the continuity of the handkerchief. The tree‚ the plushes and the handkerchief #Truly this production keeps on giving #Anyway I also thought of uploading Solès' and perhaps the Italian production's traveler of the Moon scenes #Maybe Kline's and McAvoy's too #I didn't like that scene all that much the first time I read the play but obviously it's one of my favourites now #I think it gives way to a lot of creativity in stagings and for the actor playing Cyrano to shine at his most comical #to then hit with a pan when he changes registers in the end #(I also just really love the moon so maybe I'm a bit biased) #Rereading my tags and like... It is NOT pathetic. The musical OWNS the plushes and it's FANTASTIC. Hilarious and ridiculous in the best way #More Metal Gear or Monty Python and the Holy Grial than The Brotherhood 2 in truth

[tangledinink]

... the fuck you mean you've had too many teeth broski.

OH well when I was like eight I had an extra tooth that was trying to grow upwards, like, into my nose, so they had to go in and surgically remove that one. smh. it fucked up all my other teeth somehow so then i got braces immediately after. i have really good mouth genetics actually.

#unfort i was EIGHT YEARS OLD #and therefore not capable of taking care of braces #so then they removed them #and then when i was like twelve i had another oral surgery #to remove that flap of skin like? under your lip #just below your nose and above your front teeth? #the place where you get a smiley piercing #yeah i dont have that they cut it out #and then immediately after THAT surgery i got braces again #and then when i was fourteen i had to get a root canal #coz ig my teeth have pits in the backs of them? #which makes it easy for bacteria to crawl up in them? or smth #anyway i had an abscess and a massive infection #was in horrible pain had a fever etc etc and we went to the dr and he said go to the dentist so we went to the dentist #and the DENTIST said i was just being DRAMATIC abt my braces and to ignore it #and then i happened to see my orthodontist like a week later and he was like #yah uh the color on that tooth is weird i wanna xray it #OH YEAH ACTUALLY THERES A HORRIBLE INFECTION. were referring you to an oral surgeron #and then i went to the oral surgeon for the consult and she said mmmm actually im like? #super dupes worried that the infection is gonna move into ur brain and kill u like. literally any minute now so uhhhhh can we do the surger #like #RIGHT NOW??? ill cancel all my other appts #so we did #but then the infection was so bad that it came back so a week later we did a second surgery #but this time they went in thru an incision in my gums to like. scrub out all the infection i guess #and it had eaten away a part of my jaw so i got a BONE GRAFT #and like sixteen stitches #but now its okay :) #i have a gum scar #anyway now my wisdom teeth are doing things lol

[al-ghoul]

I am a notoriously dumb fuck today, seems to me.

Have to collect some saliva for tests.

Was told to do this "Immediately After Waking Up If You Wait Ten Minutes It Won't Be Correct!!!1"

The next one goes in 30 minutes and the next one in 60. And then not to go back to sleep for the whole day, and then do one before going to sleep in the evening.

Chew on the cotton for 1-2 minutes, put it in the tube, write down the time. Simple, yes? No!

Woke up, tried to contemplate did I actually wake up or not yet, got scared it's taking too long, grabbed the cotton, start chewing on it like a good boi I am, took the phone to write the time - turned out I was sleeping for only two hours, it not the morning yet.

Freaked out that I fucked up the tube, went to frantically google where to buy a new one, while deciding should I just go for it and call it a morning, when came back to my senses turned out I was chewing on the cotton for 20 minutes now.

The test is for stress hormone. (ba dum tss)

#well I am stressed all right! #good news is there's a lab nearby that might sell me one #so my good researcher won't be inconvenienced after all #why couldn't I just sleep for my eight hours like a normal person? #(because I'm not one) #you're supposed to collect it on weekend #when you're not stressed by the work and alarm clock #so I can't put an alarm on to signify the morning for me #and how should I know if it's morning or not without lying around for much more than 10 minutes? #I'll ask this later when I get the replacement tube thingy #wouldn't like it to fuck this up for second day in a row

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Do you ever listen to someone speak and marvel at how smooth, free-flowing, and free of pauses it is?

Because I sure do. I can’t do that.

Maybe that’s why I feel like most people’s speech is insincere even when it isn’t… because it sounds like how I would recite or read a script. That explains why I view people who aren’t native English speakers, have a heavy accent, and take long pauses to think of the words they need to say as being more trustworthy… because my cadence is similar to theirs; and we both stumble over words.

#I feel like that little kid “If you ever had a dream where— you want— you wish— if you could— you want….” #I’m not that bad; but I come very close to sounding like that sometimes LOL #I feel like I spoke more smoothly as a little kid… #but that’s probably because my verbal communication is almost at the same level it was at when I was eight years old #Like those people who have a growth spurt but end up being on the short side as adults because they stop growing immediately after #I figuratively shot up to 5’0” in third grade and never grew past that point #(with regard to clarity and flow specifically; not vocabulary… my vocabulary has definitely grown a LOT #but that’s only because I get sick of writing or talking in the same way for longer than a year… which is why I currently sound #like a pretentious 20th century englishman whenever I write fiction) #I have no “real” vernacular because I don’t feel comfortable with having a personal vernacular… #because using the same patterns of words over and over again for the same situations counts as para-scripting and feels fake #(to me) #sometimes I hear someone use a new word I’ve never heard in conversation; and I say “Cool! I’ll use that word myself.” But I later realize #it’s not just a fun one-time usage of a word; but it’s a catchphrase they say all the time and forsake any common synonyms of the word #— I assume — solely for the purpose of sounding smart to others (their behavior usually justifies my assumption; because these people #act like they’re better than everyone else) #And sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing; and I switch to a different word or format than I’ve been using; out of nothing #but embarrassment and twisted perfectionism #Or sometimes I come off the high of using lofty words and want to speak in a more commonplace way #and after awhile of that I start thinking “Wait a minute wait a minute…. Now I’m just trying to sound cool and normal. #This isn’t how I talk.” #But the truth is I really feel spoken language is an insufficient medium for communication. #I want a language in which the speakers pry open each others’ chests #rip out each others’ hearts; and rub them together #But at the same time it kills me that I cannot do the same amount of tonal shapeshifting when speaking #especially when my default (socially-acceptable) speaking voice sounds extremely airheaded #I’ve been trying to use larger words and more archaic sentence structures in speech lately and it feels good #but also like I’m trying to show off (even though I’m not and that’s just how I’d prefer to speak) #even then… all my speech patterns are copied from somewhere #It’s been a years-long identity crisis and I want it to end

[damixnpriest]

.

#we lasted what? an hour? #before the discourse began? #community showing tremendous restraint actually well done #im amazed we made it past eight minutes tbh #anyway im going to continue watching funny little videos and not contributing #because my head is all funny and i think it would be bad for me to do so #idk if anyone wants to chat about it that's cool but like..... later lmao #brain so wobbly rn #im fine im just so tired but i left it too late to nap gdi