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simplytheevebest · 2 years

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Farah the Fern AU: It's Official ❤️ Masterlist Included

*off key kazoo*

Here we go! By popular demand I present to you the first chapter of the Farah the Fern AU.

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who has commented and reblogged and liked my posts about this silly little idea, I'm glad it's bringing such joy in this trying time.

Shamelessly tagging everyone who's interacted with those posts: @somenamewithepineapple @thomasine00 @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @travelingtardis @thebloodpit @setsuna1415 @ferratic @veritaserum07 @captdorkybadass @eves-da-best @alexusonfire @muscatmusic18 @evebestt @faytalepsy @evermoreparadise @astrid-v @abearofverylittlebrain @radley21 @nerd-law @icecream-junkie @quicktypesomethingclever @fuelingobsessions

If I missed you and you wish to be tagged, let me know. If I tagged you and you don't want to be, also let me know. I will be posting chapters on Ao3 but I will also post them here and update this original post with links to the new ones. Almost all "chapters" will be unconnected unless I specify otherwise.

Enjoy!

Part One (you are here). Part Two. @icecream-junkie's excellent contribution. Part Three. Angsty Part Four. Part Five. @ghostsunderstoodmysoul's excellent Farah x Reader contribution. @belligerent-butterfly's Farah the Fern inspired Farah x Reader. @icecream-junkie's second excellent contribution. @arte-mis-t's Farah the Fern inspired Farah x Reader (chapter 2). @icecream-junkie's NSFW Silrah contribution. @astrid-v's amazing fanart.

Chapter One: A New Trick

The cactus, Saul can only assume, is not proving as effective or satisfactory for Farah to express her displeasure anymore. It’d been a short-lived parlor trick anyhow, since he’s learned to look her way before reaching blindly. She’d taken great enjoyment in that first time, when he’d felt for the delicate fronds of the fern, only to find his fingers instead pierced by the spines of a prickly pear, because he’d made a quip about her current state being much easier to manage than her hair.

All jokes aside, it’s an incredible feat of her restored magic that she’s able to change to whatever plant species she pleases, though she defaults to the fern that saved her life, or the “pleopeltis polypodioides,” as Ben had said, “a fascinating epiphytic fern native to climates of-”

And that’s when Saul had stopped listening. Farah’s a fern: that’s all he needs to know. Except now, she’s not just a fern. She’s whatever she wants to be, for whatever reason she chooses. He learns she’s spending too much time with Flora -dedicated to the task of restoring the headmistress to her corporeal form, bless her- because her plant swaps hold meaning now, a language Saul never bothered learning but now has to, so he knows why Farah had chosen to be a petunia for Luna’s latest visit. (Which according to the archaic volume he’d borrowed from the library, could be construed either as peace or resentment, depending on who the recipient is. Saul has no misgivings about which meaning Farah intended for the Solarian royal).

But Saul doesn’t have the time to cross-reference the subtext of every plant Farah chooses to be, which Farah knows all to well, having no choice but to sit on the edge of her own desk and watch him sort through reams and reams of the paperwork meant to be for her perusal. He’s ashamed to admit he’d had no idea she’d taken on such a taxing load of work on her own, though he’s also not surprised, and irritated mostly with himself for believing her when she’d insisted there was “nothing” for him to do as headmaster outside of training the specialists. Farah is evidently equally as unwilling to let him take on even a fraction of the workload, let alone all of it, in her absence, and she expresses her displeasure the best way she knows how, because Saul doesn’t need to look up any sort of secondary meaning to know she intends the cactus to act as visual proof of her disgruntlement.

But that’s all it is: visual. The plants she chooses to masquerade as are limited to the size of the original pot, so he isn’t contending with a forty pound cactus threatening to skewer his writing-hand for daring to do his job. The prickly pear is barely larger than his hand, an adorable manifestation of her ire like a yappy little dog imagining itself a rottweiler. Which he would never, ever say to her face, because on any other day of the week, she is the rottweiler, which he supposes might make him the yappy little dog. On second thought, maybe he’ll tuck that one away for a time when she’s upset with him. It’ll make her smile, even if he’s still destined for the dog house (ha).

But as a plant stuck in a pot, there’s only so much she can do. She can’t extend the spines of the cactus far enough to poke at him, so he’s in no danger of incurring her wrath any worse. She’ll hold onto guilt, but she won’t hold a grudge.

The ghost of a grin twitches at the corners of Saul’s mouth as he catches the change out of the corner of his eye, the frilly fronds of the fern shrinking into the smooth skin of the cactus, barbs prominent and angry. He mark his signature on an inventory sheet with more of a flourish than is obviously necessary, setting it aside with deliberate nonchalance. The cactus grows as large as Farah dares, barbs incapable of reaching him but not afraid of trying.

“Sorry,” Saul remarks cheerfully, “Don’t speak plant. I couldn’t tell you what you want, but I’ve got to get back to this paperwork.”

This time, the cactus shrinks, pityingly small and unassuming. Saul stacks the inventory sheets off to the side, tucked safely in a manila folder to be squirreled away between the rest of the filing cabinets’ neat rows in Farah’s outer office.

“Don’t pout,” he chides, “It’s your own fault really, you shouldn’t have been doing this all on your own anyway. We’re co-heads of school, I’m not your deputy. You can give me the work and I’ll do it.”

He gets no response, not even visual, so Saul considers the matter settled. He carries on with the paperwork without further interruption for at least another half an hour before he becomes consciously aware of the irritation in his nose, a tickling not placated by rubbing or sniffling that grows worse the longer he sits there. He’ll admit, he’s behind in his taking-over of Farah’s weekly clean of her office, but surely it can’t be that dusty? Not even the volumes on her tallest shelves had been caked with dust as he’d expected, their height a natural deterrent to a proper dusting. No, Farah is nothing if not thorough, in all areas of her life. He glances at her pot, out of habit more than anything, and visible starts, jolting back away from the desk and the insidious infernal plant Farah’s chosen to become.

“Oh that’s very mature,” he gripes, tone a mix of congestion and the roughness of a scratchy throat, allergies ravaging his senses as she knows they always do. Ragweed.

“Very mature,” he repeats, doing as she intended and abandoning the paperwork for when she’s done throwing a tantrum.

“I’ll be back when you can act like an adult,” he threatens. “And I’ll put Riven in charge of you, don’t think I won’t.”

He won’t. He’s bluffing, and they both know it.

Insufferable woman.

#farah the fern #eve best #fate the winx saga #ftws #fate winx saga #fate: the winx saga #farah dowling #saul silva #rob james collier #silrah #farah x saul #farah dowling x saul silva #fate fanfic #long post

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hgfstreamchats · 5 years

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Charlotte’s Web

thenightetc Hello! Starscreamapillar Greetings. Me Hello, night human! Starscream-not-human! thenightetc Pffff omg thenightetc it's TINY! Me So ruthless. thenightetc Brave cameraman survives vicious pig attack #cw gore .... Starscreamapillar So deadly. thenightetc Well, I didn't know they'd already made that joke Me If tumblr flagged the video I'm searching for, I'm going to be very very upset. thenightetc squints

Zephra85 Hey everyone! thenightetc Hello! Me Zephra human, hello! Zephra85 Oh man the moment I saw 'the good one' in terms of Charlotte's Web I hauled ass right in here Starscreamapillar Seeing something good during one of these streams will be a novelty. Me Tumblr, you joyless filth. Zephra85 Oh no what's it doing this time Me Well, onto Good Charlotte's Web it is, then. Oh no, it just flagged the video I was looking for and hid it forever. Zephra85 UGH Me The video I was looking for was *Peppa Pig.* thenightetc Tumblr thought it saw a nipple. Starscreamapillar A female presenting nipple. thenightetc From what I've heard, tumblr thinks ALL nipples are female presenting. Zephra85 Tumblr things everything vaguely pink-ish is a female-presenting nipple Zephra85 Fanart of Sparkscream is flagged now I know it thenightetc Look, Peppa's a pinkish thing with a darker pinkish thing on it, what do you want? For it to NOT see tits there? Zephra85 Clearly that is too much to ask of Tumblr now Starscreamapillar Does that mean melanin-heavy nipples are just fine on tumblr? They are not pink anymore. thenightetc It's possible! Zephra85 that was actually a thing it seemed people were experimenting and uploading/blogging/reblogging pics of dark-skinned people who were def naked/shirtless/etc and it wasn't getting flagged thenightetc Gosh, what a surprise. Me It also doesn't flag it if you tag it "sfw", apparently. thenightetc Meanwhile, tumblr is ALL OVER those naughty, naughty pictures of rocks and mushrooms and its own examples of things that won't get flagged. Expect someone to kludge that by having it flag EVERYTHING that's tagged 'sfw'. Starscreamapillar These redirects are not promising. thenightetc No, indeed. Zephra85 Because (cue 'we don't know sh*t about running a website' gif here) Having fun, Knock Out? thenightetc There, there. Me Heaps. Zephra85 Clearly Oh?? Maybe??? Me Charlotte died because the stream sites didn't work. Me Oh, you filth. thenightetc I've got one, don't know if it's the right one https://www.watchcartoononline.io/charlottes-web Charlotte’s Web | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Charlotte’s Web | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Watch Charlotte's Web online free with HQ / high quailty. Stream movie Charlotte's Web.After her father spares the life of a piglet from slaughtering it as runt of the l Me There's good on this Earth and you're it. thenightetc Thank you, thank you. Zephra85 WOO thenightetc Tip your waitress! Zephra85 thenightetc to the rescue! Zephra85 (hums along with medley) Me Tumblr flags the swelling buds. Zephra85 naturally thenightetc Tumblr has a dirty mind.

Starscreamapillar Why would she be this surprised, given she has presumably lived on this farm her whole life? thenightetc "No, because we're not raising you to eat" Zephra85 she's like 11, maybe her parents might have thought she was too young before this maybe 12 thenightetc Yeah, you're right Starscreamapillar She is going to learn a harder lesson, when they eat the pig she has named and loves. thenightetc Ewwwwwww Me Teach your children to kill something they love, because the universe isn't awful enough. Zephra85 Meanwhile when I was younger than that I was the brother. The first animal I ever brought home and begged to keep as a pet was literally a frog Zephra85 My grandma was NOT happy My grandpa just laughed thenightetc Heh. Me Mine was a tetradecapede. Zephra85 ooh what's that? Me I don't like the face he made there. Me A centipede the size of a German Shepherd. And made of various leads. Zephra85 Delightful thenightetc That's not what a birthday is. Me Just leave the cake and burning candle. Starscreamapillar Could she not put him in with the other pigs? thenightetc Whooooo is this?

Me That's my reaction to owls, too. Zephra85 A very smart pig clearly Starscreamapillar Just the sort of human to entrust with a gun. thenightetc Hahhaha. thenightetc He brought this on himself. Me They might have told her this at the start of her pig raising project. thenightetc Yes. Zephra85 I think he anticipated she'd get sick of taking care of it before then thenightetc "Do a good enough job and I'll take him away from you!" Me Literally nothing about her suggests she'd get sick of something like that. "You're a six week old pig with the voice of a middle aged man, but you speak very well." Starscreamapillar Looks what you've done, goose. thenightetc Where did he learn this Zephra85 She immediately regrets everything Me Plot twist, he was like this as an infant pig and that's why his mother wouldn't feed him. Zephra85 (SNORTS) Starscreamapillar Joyous song, then no, no I'm still sad. Zephra85 There he is the boy I love Templeton Me I'm not big on sulfur either. Not by the spoonful, anyway. Templeton speaks for all of us. thenightetc Buckethead. Starscreamapillar Spying, hiding and eating are valuable pasttimes. Zephra85 Hiding away from interaction from others and eating free food thenightetc Oh, great, a racist sheep. Me They could, very easily. Zephra85 Templeton really is an inspiration thenightetc I want to point out, people eat sheep too. Starscreamapillar As if crying about it every changed anything. thenightetc omg Starscreamapillar The cattle are not crying about their fate at the slaughterhouse. Me And the lambs aren't crying about theirs. Starscreamapillar Or the goose. Me "Shove that depression down and smile, no one wants to see that slag." Starscreamapillar I find this song offensive. Me "This is different than what the humans plan to do with you." thenightetc Heeeeeee Zephra85 Somehow Starscreamapillar I hope she tells the flies to chin up before she eats them. Me Hah! thenightetc Charlotte explaining ecology thenightetc This is just. A gr8 idea. Starscreamapillar This is how the pig loses his tail. Me He's big on including everyone in every single thought he has. Zephra85 I can't judge, I was the same way as a kid Me Hm, good point. thenightetc Awwww.

thenightetc ...Huh. Did Fern hear that? Can Fern understand them? Me Fern hears a lot of things. Starscreamapillar And if she cannot, what does she think of this interaction? thenightetc "...Yeah. Collection. Definitely not going to eat it as soon as you can't see me." Zephra85 It's human nature to just watch animals do whatever We have entire sections of the internet devoted to it Starscreamapillar I am also fairly certain that the pig would eat that gosling. Me He's doing that right now. Fern's mind is blacking it out and filling in this instead. Zephra85 Oh my freaking god Zephra85 Fern, surrounded by death regularly on a farm: Well time to repress another memory. Me That's for 35 Year Old Fern to deal with. thenightetc Honestly, I'd be freaked out if some chickens started chorus dancing in front of me. Me The foal's expression is Fern's right now. In reality. Oh dear. thenightetc I like how they drew her web. Starscreamapillar The fact is, you both will be eaten at the end of the summer. Me Did it crash for anyone else? thenightetc she CAN understand them! Starscreamapillar She can hear them... She's insane. Zephra85 It's a big laggy *a bit thenightetc This just raises further questions! Starscreamapillar It is not lagging for me. Yet. Me There it goes! It blacked out for me, ironically. Zephra85 odd thenightetc It's been okay for me... strange thenightetc Now I want to know why the brother doesn't understand the animals Starscreamapillar Because Fern is insane, and is imagining this whole thing. Zephra85 He's not disassociating regularly like fern is Starscreamapillar The artists have clearly never seen a real spider. Me Not at all. thenightetc It's artistic license.

Starscreamapillar Ah, the drug trip portion of the old animated movie. thenightetc It's de rigueur. Me It *would* go down fantastic with Steam. Starscreamapillar Where did the spider learn to write english? Me I want a nine minute montage of that human running. thenightetc Ha. thenightetc "No, no, obviously the spider, who's right there, didn't do this. It was some god!" Starscreamapillar Back before the internet, when miracles had to be seen in person. Me I read that as "in prison." Starscreamapillar Those are different sorts of miracles. Me I love Templeton. Zephra85 Legit thenightetc "Only Wilbur, though. Not the rest of you who are scheduled to be eaten." Me "Especially the chicken choir." Zephra85 Man that ram is racist thenightetc Charlotte! Zephra85 'That's what you get for not coming to my meeting bitch' Starscreamapillar We do not talk to the cat. Because. Zephra85 #Templetondidnothingwrong Me Charlotte's saving that pig's life and she doesn't care who has to die along the way. thenightetc He appreciated her song. Me "Local Schoolteacher Murders 12" was the headline he was working on. Zephra85 lololol thenightetc WELL. Starscreamapillar It is not really a new threat. thenightetc Okay, okay, the antennae are a little beyond "artistic license". Me Why doesn't she just write "Spare the pig" and cut out all the beating around the bush? Starscreamapillar She is just a spider. They are not that smart. Zephra85 If she's too obvious people might look into it

Me Better to be too obvious than too vague. Zephra85 True Zephra85 When does she eat if she's taking down her web all the time thenightetc Spiders CAN fast for long periods Starscreamapillar This is the most boring town. thenightetc And plenty of them rebuild their webs on a daily basis Zephra85 This was the time before the internet in farming lands This was legit the most interesting thing to happen around here Starscreamapillar After the first time, it is still the same pig. Me No it isn't. Starscreamapillar Look, the boy can spell. Me Hah! thenightetc So don't watch! Me Wilbur, shut up. Starscreamapillar Wilbur is terribly selfish. He'd make a fine Autobot. Me He's the very definition of one. Zephra85 THE PRETTIEST SONG Me Without question. Starscreamapillar How old is this spider? Me Orb weavers can live for several years, if the warm weather holds out and they're fed well. They usually die during the first cold snap. The country fair is held when the days are still very hot, in late summer or early fall. Just something to consider going forward! thenightetc Shoosh. Me Nothing to do with stress and not eating enough. No sir. thenightetc Because SOMEbody has scruples about flies-- Zephra85 See this goose knows how to get Templeton to work Me "Do this and you'll be well compensated!" Starscreamapillar Being paid for one's work. Imagine. Zephra85 No attempted murder , just free food Me Charlotte believes corporations are people.

Starscreamapillar That is not a joke. Me The ram isn't funny, eat him instead. Zephra85 Templeton doesn't get paid enough for this sh*t thenightetc Templeton doesn't get paid at all. He doesn't HAVE to do anything for them to stow away. Zephra85 Exactly Starscreamapillar Three whole quarters! Me They're treating him like he cured someone of something. thenightetc Those are expensive. Starscreamapillar Now that Henry is cool, he no longer needs glasses. Zephra85 'I got to actually be a kid for a while ' Me "It fixed my eyes." Starscreamapillar The most selfish pig. thenightetc Oh, he still needs glasses, he's just not wearing them. Everything's blurry as shit. Zephra85 Charlotte that's cold Me She never thinks about him again in the book. It's really...something. Funnier than the ram. thenightetc What's wrong with his eyes Starscreamapillar But by cheating, we can win. Me "Let the other pig die. The one that isn't as polished." Starscreamapillar She is very invested in this ungrateful pig. Instead of her own welfare, or that of her offspring. thenightetc Animation budget: saved! Me Cool Henry Fussy isn't using his glasses, so he trips and falls straight into the ferris wheel gears. Zephra85 Charlotte would just be like 'it is what it is' Me Wilbur's all demands, as usual. Zephra85 But at least he looked cool doing it thenightetc egg Me Goals to live by. Zephra85 And Templeton lived happily ever after Me I want him to have everything he wants. Starscreamapillar He's actually worked for his happy ending. Zephra85 He deserves it Me Everyone deserves to do this at least once. Starscreamapillar Perhaps one day. Me "Charlotte, I want something!" thenightetc ....:< thenightetc charloooooootte Me "...I mean, I am, but you couldn't look away when I caught those flies, so Mother Earth and Father Time and all that." Zephra85 Lol Zephra85 How I react to my friends/acquaintances having babies Me You and I both. Zephra85 "Hooray for them.' thenightetc Heh. Me Charlotte doesn't want to share a planet with this. Starscreamapillar He shall be killed in front of the whole of the crowd. As a sacrifice. Zephra85 LOLOLOLOL Me Got to keep that honey harvest coming somehow! Starscreamapillar Last summer? Me "Whatever state that may be. It's very red." Zephra85 Omg thenightetc You heard it here first, Charlotte is god thenightetc I'm a little distracted by that guy's moustache... Starscreamapillar Eat the pig, and gain the miracle powers. thenightetc The balding one. Zephra85 Idgaf I love barbershop quartets Me I love how everyone accepts that it's a supernatural message from their god and all he gets is a bronze medal. thenightetc Are they still going to care in a few years when the writing's stopped, though Zephra85 Can't win 'em all I guess Me Meanwhile, Uncle really does go on to live to a ripe old age as a stud. thenightetc awwwwwww, no Zephra85 Man she may have been bossy cold heartless but this scene still gets to me thenightetc charlooooootte Starscreamapillar She just climbed down there. Have the pig put you in the crate. Zephra85 Templeton has his own gift for words Monkeyshine Me It's beautiful. thenightetc his TEETH are STICKING INTO IT Me If you hadn't sicced a cat on him, Charlotte, maybe he would have grabbed you while he was up there. Starscreamapillar She is barely worth the eating, since she has not been allowed to feed. Zephra85 ... Me Because it harmed Wilbur's delicate sensibilities. Zephra85 Q_Q thenightetc noooooo. Starscreamapillar She got to finish her song. Who could ask for more. Me Here's to that. Me I'm siding with Wilbur on this one. I'd gladly trade his life for her's too. Starscreamapillar If only it worked like that. Zephra85 Beloved manure pile. Starscreamapillar And he just killed those spider eggs, by burying them in manure. Zephra85 NEVER TEMPLETON WILL BE IMMORTAL FOREVER Starscreamapillar Someone has to eat Templeton and his children. Or the farmer puts out poison. Me Templeton outlives them all. Starscreamapillar Templeton eats Zuckerman, and his wife. Zephra85 He will if there's even a shred of justice in the world thenightetc Circle of life. Starscreamapillar Fern discovers the nibbled upon bodies, and imagines an animal musical number. Zephra85 And I stand by, #templetondidnothingwrong Me Does anyone know how to fix a frozen rabbit screen? Starscreamapillar Unfortunately not. Me There's a way to yank down the current video and start a new one, I know. thenightetc Reload? Me For the second time tonight, you've saved us! Zephra85 Woo! But I do need to get going, I've got to get some dinner ready for the bf. Zephra85 Bye everyone! Starscreamapillar Goodbye. Me Goodbye, Zephra human! Glad you could make it! Zephra85 Thanks for the stream, Knock Out! Say hi to the family for me! Me Will do! thenightetc Goodnight! thenightetc The same site has this one, too https://www.watchcartoononline.io/charlottes-web-2-wilburs-great-adventure Charlotte’s Web 2: Wilbur’s Great Adventure | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Charlotte’s Web 2: Wilbur’s Great Adventure | Watch cartoons online, Watch anime online, English dub anime Watch Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure online free with HQ / high quailty. Stream movie Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure.The film opens in springti Me Three for three! thenightetc preens Starscreamapillar Good work. It would be a shame if we could not watch more pig nonsense. Me Heaven forbid we end on a beautiful, poignant note! That's not how we do things around here. Starscreamapillar No indeed. thenightetc It WAS a good movie, despite my reflexive heckling. Starscreamapillar I am not saying it was not a good movie, I am saying Wilbur was not a good protagonist. -This- will not be a good movie. thenightetc Oh my god!!!! THEY HAVE HUMAN HAIR thenightetc OH MY GOD THEYR'E CENTAURS Starscreamapillar And they still have antennae, despite just saying they should not. thenightetc Nobody told the animators Me Their mother really was a god. An unholy one. Starscreamapillar Someone put blush on that pig. thenightetc She was Lolth and they are tiny tiny driders Me Lurvy did it for reasons no one has to know. thenightetc They're YOUR kids, Templeton--those are definitely smirks Starscreamapillar So he is a coward now. Me I like how the grass is unkempt and the barn and fence are peeling. thenightetc Is it just me, or is Wilbur smaller than he was at the end of the last movie? Me Smaller and leggier. Me Well, I'm already rooting for this character. thenightetc Oh, HERE it is, predators are evil Starscreamapillar Evil, and British. Not an egg! Me Not a single egg! thenightetc MUCH worse than when humans take their eggs Me Every single day. Starscreamapillar Racism? Racism. Me And then you didn't let her eat. Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc ............. Me Charlotte regrets giving her life for this. Starscreamapillar Pain.... Starscreamapillar Also, no one cares these animals are just roaming loose. thenightetc Oh, farmers are totally cool with that. Why wouldn't they be! Me Just making a mess of everything. thenightetc Did he... hear the song? thenightetc he was whistling it! Starscreamapillar Everyone is insane now. Me No wonder the farm's in ruins. Starscreamapillar That lamb is going to die if it only eats garbage. Me Doesn't he have a mother or something? Starscreamapillar Wilbur is his mother now. Me Unicron help him. Starscreamapillar A single tomato. thenightetc She's.... wearing blush Me Why is everyone wearing blush? Starscreamapillar Lurvy also applied that. Me Lurvy takes part of his payment in the form of freedom to do this. Starscreamapillar The fair, where your mother died! You know, the best time of year. thenightetc Right? Me At least they're acknowledging it? thenightetc I guess? Me WHY THE HAIR. thenightetc WHAT. WAS. THAT. Starscreamapillar She used to have 'Talk to the manager' hair. Me Her last instruction to Wilbur was not to have her kids vaccinated. Starscreamapillar Ha! thenightetc She would never. bah, she's young, they'll grow back Starscreamapillar I hope Templeton eats that tomato. thenightetc Now if only someone would bake a giant loaf of bread, make a huge batch of mayo, and fry up a WHOOOOOLE BUNCH of bacon Me And then the sacrificial feast. Starscreamapillar You won a medal, because a spider took pity on you. thenightetc ...Man. Me You won a *bronze* medal. thenightetc OH BOY Me Here we go. Starscreamapillar This would be less fun while high. thenightetc Is this vore Starscreamapillar Not yet. thenightetc I'm gonna have a bacon sandwich after this Me Is he just blacking out while this is happening? thenightetc Well, he IS a fainter. Starscreamapillar Nope, just disassociating hard. Me Back to demands! thenightetc HA. Starscreamapillar Templeton is a rat. His life is potentially always being eaten. Me You're awfully good at thinking of yourself, Wilbur. thenightetc So... they don't talk where humans can hear them anymore? Or is it an "adults can't understand them" thing? Me This is a disaster. Starscreamapillar You are not wrong. thenightetc What are those... spots on her face "That's it! Blood!" thenightetc Does she have spider-zits? Starscreamapillar To go with her spider hair. thenightetc And she only has them sometimes? Starscreamapillar He could eat those terrible children for him. Me Make it look like an accident. thenightetc "it'll get you away from your awful spawn" Starscreamapillar Get the owl to do the dirty work for him. Me I was sure that's where he was going with that, but no, that would make sense. Ugh, that blush. thenightetc How much of this movie is he going to spend covered in mud thenightetc Oh no! Corn! Starscreamapillar Then he was eaten by coyotes. Me Much to the relief of all. thenightetc Suuuure, Templeton. thenightetc Man, Wilbur's going to end up raising those kids by the time this trip's over. Me It's one vine, you mistake. Starscreamapillar And the bear that lives in there, surely. thenightetc He's... just getting more and more covered in things Me You know, with all the pigs that presumably passed through that barn without getting a reprieve, I feel like some of them had to be more deserving of a reprieve than Wilbur. Starscreamapillar I hope he is shot for being a 'wild boar' now. Me Please, please. thenightetc Yeah, I'm remembering how this stream started Starscreamapillar Those spiders are awfully critical for useless beings that have never actually done anything of note. thenightetc ....... When did they hear about it Starscreamapillar Last night. Everyone was told. Even the pigs. Me Why is any of this happening? Starscreamapillar Because we have not suffered enough. ThebesAce Well THIS looks peculiar Starscreamapillar And everyone on every farm is a bitch. thenightetc Working how, exactly Me This milk thing is someone's very specific fetish. ThebesAce also hello Starscreamapillar He eats rotten eggs. thenightetc I thought he LIKED spoiled things Me Well, that was pointless. Starscreamapillar This whole thing is pointless. thenightetc You missed the original, now we're watching the sequel! Me Hello, Thebes human! ThebesAce ahhh, so that explains the weird child spiders with hair Starscreamapillar She has never eaten, has she. thenightetc She eats the others' scraps. Me Oh yes, I definitely like this fox. thenightetc Right? Me .......Dear Unicron. If Starscream and I were foxes and reproduced, this would be the result. Starscreamapillar I do not like that visual. Me Neither do I. But we all have to live with it now. Starscreamapillar As if things weren't haunting enough. ThebesAce this movie seems designed to provide unsettling cisuals

ThebesAce *visuals thenightetc hahahahah thenightetc Look what your son did. Me I couldn't be prouder. Starscreamapillar Time for a pig hunt. thenightetc How are those sticks staying on, anyway Me Sinister forces. Starscreamapillar The power of poor writing. thenightetc Wow. Me "My valuable miracle pig's missing, but eh!" Starscreamapillar He hasn't produced a miracle in over a year. thenightetc You can all talk. Me Ugh, it looks like the sticks are physically jammed up under his skin. thenightetc It DOES. ThebesAce Can't unsee Starscreamapillar Mm, add in that bad CGI thenightetc Didn't need a closeup of incorrectly attached legs. Me If their web isn't a disaster, I'll be very disappointed. Starscreamapillar Also, who refers to their siblings as 'girls'? thenightetc Dude Me Wilbur never bothered to teach them not to say that. thenightetc Heheheh Me Beautiful. Me It's the haircut that's missing. Got to break out those expired coupons and threaten a 16 year old employee. Me Now, I'm no expert on cows, but isn't that a sign of an infected udder? Starscreamapillar It is likely a sign of poor husbandry, if nothing else. Me "Your fall mastitis is because of your sour attitude, haha!" thenightetc Well, that just makes it awful. She's probably in a lot of pain all the time. Starscreamapillar No wonder she is cranky. thenightetc I'm pretty sure it's only mutton if it's an adult sheep Me Great job there, Mr. 108.2 IQ. thenightetc Also, mutton is red meat. Starscreamapillar Release the hounds. Me Gah, there she is! thenightetc Couldn't they just try a little harder to get his "disguise" off Me I like how he mangled one of the more touching things she said to him. They're all rooting for the hunters, deep down. Starscreamapillar They're going to blame the 'wild pig' for their cow going missing too, instead of not closing the gate properly. Should he have not killed him already? thenightetc Haha, wow ThebesAce ThebesAce you'd think. Foxes don't play with their food, as far as I can recall Me HAH! thenightetc "Oh, well, sometimes cows just wander away, what can you do" Me THEY ACTUALLY BLAMED HIM FOR THE COW! Starscreamapillar Called it! thenightetc They did! ThebesAce This message has been removed. Me "The wild pig burned down this house!" Starscreamapillar The wild pig ruined the economy! ThebesAce Ugh, wrong buttooooon thenightetc Hey, YOU'RE not going to die, you're spiders, you can just climb up somewhere and they'll all ignore you Me Oh, that was hot. ThebesAce right? Especially on a farm Starscreamapillar He is savoring this far too much. thenightetc Is THIS vore Me It is now. thenightetc Love the music they put that to. Me What predator takes a rat over lamb? Starscreamapillar A stupid one. Starscreamapillar When did they have time to make that? thenightetc How, uh Me 108.2, everyone. thenightetc How did he... tie those? With his hooves?? thenightetc Just, physically, how did he accomplish it? Starscreamapillar If this movie ends with him being torn apart by dogs, I will take back every criticism. Me I like the blatantly recycled stock sound effect from Fox and the Hound. Likewise. thenightetc "Why the heck is he green" Starscreamapillar And so they killed that fox. Brutally. Me Lot of screaming. thenightetc Oil her legs? thenightetc What? Starscreamapillar That fox is a pelt on a wall now. thenightetc ... Starscreamapillar Well, I feel dumber now. Truly the way to end one of these. Me We're sitting through the song. Because we just are. Starscreamapillar Because you are making us. Me Exactly. Starscreamapillar So many plot threads. None of them woven correctly together. It's like a metaphor, for the terrible spiders, and their terrible webs. thenightetc Technically, we could leave at any moment But we won't. Me You could, yes. But could you live with that kind of cowardice? Starscreamapillar The shrek thing was still worse. Me I don't think anything will ever be as bad as that. thenightetc True. Me "Girls, girls, girls!" Starscreamapillar I'm sure there is something worse. And we will find it. One evening. Me Someday. Someday. And that's the end. That's the note we're entering 2019 on. thenightetc I'd rather watch a movie based on one of the slings who DIDN'T stick around. Starscreamapillar Yes. Get rid of the pig. thenightetc Stuff happening far, far away from the pig ThebesAce and it'll probably be made by Good Times animation. Me Even the males living for a few months, then getting eaten. I'd take that over this. thenightetc They live it UP for those few months, presumably Starscreamapillar They probably have the sense not to adopt a whiny, demanding pig. thenightetc ...Oh, I bet it's not "stuck"--it's just in fullscreen mode or whatever it is. Bet it goes back if you click the thing in the lower right again.

Me Oh no, it's stuck. I can click on the minimize and it won't do anything. Rabbit's been acting up all night. Possibly as some form of protest. thenightetc Oh. Starscreamapillar It is unhappy with the slop you foist upon it. thenightetc : ( Me It can deal with it. Today Starscreamapillar Ha! thenightetc Oh, well. It held out for the entire movie, that's something Starscreamapillar Well, what trauma now? Me Because I refuse to let tumblr take some things away from us, and because this is the past year in a nutshell. Starscreamapillar You finally found it. thenightetc Nipples, nipples everywhere Me Not the version on tumblr, but I'll try to recreate the experience. thenightetc Hahhahahaaaa Be freeeeeeee Me The end. Starscreamapillar Perfect. thenightetc Amazing. Me Unless anyone has anything to share with the class, that's where I'm electing to leave it! Starscreamapillar I think that is a fine ending point. Me Excellent! thenightetc Thanks for the stream! Starscreamapillar Thank you for hosting this nonsense, once again. I am glad I shirked my obligations to attend. Me Oh! The one time I get to steal this from Soundwave! ThebesAce thank you! thenightetc It was great, and then terrible, and then great again. Oh?? Ha! Me Thank you all very much for coming! Starscreamapillar Until next time. Me Until then! ThebesAce See you! thenightetc Thank you, and goodnight. : ) Me Good night!

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