#//an answer sought; (ASK)

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard? #i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug? #i would. a million times over. #anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

[everlastiingiimmortals]

17 !

canon questionaire! still accepting. | @avaere

17. Are there any ships you can’t stand, why?

starting out strong with some salt, huh?

i don't feel very strongly about many ships in a negative sense, but i would honestly have to say r.enh.eng for this one, chief. which is sad because i used to enjoy it! i loved it a lot! i still like j.ingr.enh.eng!! but it's specifically the twitterfied r.h dynamic that i despise, where any and all significance other characters might have to b.lade and d.an h.eng is removed. a dynamic where they're just reduced to each other in a wooby, uninteresting and sometimes abusive way??? ick. the attitude of the fans who keep attacking everyone else and starting shit???? ick. seeing a proper development and a difficult, clumsy progress and tragedy? that fucks. i love me a messy and bittersweet r.h dynamic that isn't necessarily romantic but can be, knowing that it is doomed to end in death either way. but the illiterate stans over on the other hellsite ruined it for me otherwise. the only r.h dynamic i like is that i've seen from my mutuals here bc they actually know how to write FDKHJGSLKHFDJ

aside from that, i have some ships i don't care for, like s.amp.ard (because i just don't see it working with my interpretation of geppie) or g.allad.ay (same energy as r.h, so it's teetering closer to a negative opinion bc i've seen some genuinely uncomfortable fanart!! holy shit you guys yikes!!!!! put a warning!!!!!!!!!!). for ships like that i need to see a proper and extensive buildup (canon divergence my beloved) or they have to be more or less removed from canon entirely via an AU or something SLFKJHAFDSLKJH

#//an answer sought; (ASK) #avaere #//immortal; (OOC) #censoring tf out of this so i dont get attacked on god #AND OF COURSE TO EACH THEIR OWN!!! IF ANYONE LIKES THESE SHIPS I LOVE YOU AND I'VE SEEN SOME VERY VERY GOOD FOOD FOR THEM #i'm just going to beeline to other dishes in the buffet myself #can you imagine the death threats i'd get if i said i didn't like r.h on twt my goodness

[kris-mage-fics]

1,3, 4, 24 and 25 for Kyrahlise and Blade for the OCxLI OTP asks!

When I saw your ask I had to do a double-take, because I figured that you’d ask about Kyrah and Chase! But Kyrahlise and Blade are fun too! And so frustrating before they get together, lol! Now, without further adieu, here are the answers to the Romance Asks *dramatically gestures towards the answers*

1. What drew your character to their LI and vice versa?

Blade was drawn to Kyrahlise because she’s kind, hardworking, always trying to do what’s right, and keeps improving her combat abilities and magic. She also acts like she feels at ease around him and teases him. (Which gets to my headcanon that he likes it when people aren’t afraid of him and act normal around him.) 

Kyrahlise was drawn to Blade because despite all he’s done and seen, he’s still very kind and considerate. Also he’s incredibly fun to tease! He respects her abilities and knowledge, and she feels safe speaking her mind to him because he gives what she has to say due thought. What seals the deal is in Chapter 4 when he’s so angry about what happened to her. It’s been a long time since anyone has given a shit if she were safe, or wanted to protect her.

3. When they are having a fight, what is it about and how do they deal with it? 

The number one thing these two would fight about is Kyrahlise feeling like Blade is overprotective of her, and Blade feeling like she is too independent and reckless. Once Kyrah understands just how scared he is of losing her, and that he needs to know she’s safe, she’s going to take a long hard look at how she acts. She’ll agree to work on making her safety a higher priority, and communicating better before she runs off. When Blade realizes that she feels a little stifled and like he doesn’t fully trust her, I’m sure he’ll agree to reign in his protectiveness to some degree. Of course it’s something they both have to work on to find a balance, but they will eventually.

The silly thing about this argument is that she likes that he’s protective, and he likes that she’s independent and wants to tackle problems! They just both think the other takes it too far.

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?

According to Lena, romanced!Blade loves MC’s eyes, hair, and lips (or just face in general), and we know he’s into a nice butt! I change my mind regularly as to which is his favorite, but right now I'm going to say her eyes!

Kyrahlise loves Blade’s smile! It fills her with joy to see him happy and relaxed enough to genuinely smile. She has an internal ‘got the stoic, ex-assassin to smile’ counter! Overall she thinks he’s a very beautiful and handsome man, but his smile is her favorite.

24. Is there any moment that happens between them that you know happens and just makes you melt? 

One time Kyrahlise sat on Blade’s lap briefly as he’s working to tell him something and give him a little kiss before getting up to read. (He’s a head taller than her, so she uses whatever she can to make it easier to kiss him!) But Blade doesn’t want her to go, so she’s like “fine, I’ll just read here” thinking that he’ll eventually get tired of her sitting on his lap. She severely underestimates how much he likes having her close. But he’s warm, and she feels very safe and cozy, so she falls asleep. Since he doesn’t want to wake her up, he stops working. And he’s probably having a hard time not staring at her because he thinks she’s very cute!

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

As soon as Blade lets her, Kyrahlise starts cutting his hair. She secretly thinks his haircut is atrocious. Though once she gives him a better haircut she realizes she played herself because now he looks even more handsome! (Kyrah’s been cutting her own hair since her mother died. Most people can’t be trusted to cut curly hair right, and she’s a touch vain about her hair.)

They trade books of poetry with each other and then talk about which ones they like and why. It’s like a little book club with just the two of them!

Blade’s office stops looking quite so bare, because Kyrahlise makes him some art to put up. If anyone dares to criticize it or make any disparaging remarks about it in his presence they get his death glare!

#I really like Kyrahlise and Blade together because they are sweet in private but publicly they are a power couple #funny thing is Kyrah never sought out power but now that she has some she's going to use it to make positive changes! #but before that they are dumb! under normal circumstances she's dense and thinks “there is a platonic explanation for this” #so Blade's odd behavior removes any chance of her understanding how he feels about her! #it's very much an “unrequited requited love” kind of situation that makes me want to yell at them both lol #romance asks #blade bronwyn #oc: kyrahlise niriviel #shepherds of haven #shoh #sorry it took a while! the PTSD has been acting up more the past few days which made it hard to concentrate enough to answer #if this is a bit of a garbled mess that's why

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I think SMS is another example of how the current system that runs the cultivation world at large (family based) is kind of shitty. We see with him that if you aren’t apart of the main family, you’re considered expendable. That’s not to say there aren’t any issues with being within the main family but being an outer disciple is not a secure position. He’s probably yet another mirror of WWX, but he’s no where near as favored as WWX was.

yep, hard agree. i'd also say that cql!sms is evidence of just how secure an outer disciple without kinship ties to the main family is when they choose to join one of the major clans. he was clearly loyal and dedicated to the gusu lan, but that was not enough to earn him the loyalty and favour that the inner disciples received. his security was entirely dependent on the broader political landscape, and as soon as that became volatile and unpredictable, well. 🤷‍♀️

#in other words #however favoured jin guangyao might have been by lan xichen specifically #if he had sought to join the gusu lan post-sunshot #he could very easily have met the same fate as su minshan #and found himself back at square one #asks answered #mdzs meta #su she #su minshan #emotional support henchman

[studentwizard]

Do you have a favorite spell at the moment? Or, alternatively, a least favorite

i'd have to say greater baja blast tbh! i don't care if the wizard council banned it it's the only thing that got me through midterms

#answers sought (asks) #wizardposting

[ladytauria]

Tim and Cass are two very unhinged people that understand each other of course they'd share

yessss ofc!!!

god, i bet they have like. absolutely 0 boundaries

ik we’ve talked before abt how at this point steph, tim, & cass probably just share a closet at this point but it’s gotta be even worse w/ cass & tim

if either of them mark leftovers as theirs, OBVIOUSLY the other one is okay to eat it.

showing up unannounced to the other’s safe houses / homes and just crawling into bed together.

showering together, especially if they’re tired and just wanna crash. also bc it’s more practical to have someone who can get your back, duh. & it saves water!

cass, however, does not where WE duties with tim <3 this is a burden he must bear alone… 😂

#casstim #timcass #whatever my tag was #ik this was abt sharing partners but my brain ran off with it in another direction #that said hard agree on that one too #just abt the only one i can’t see is them sharing jay #just bc jaycass is hard for me to picture 🤔 #but also u know. it’s also not something i’ve sought out so i could easily be persuaded otherwise ahskhskajsjsjd #deepwithintheabyss #asks and answers

[thefirstknife]

Hello! I've been meaning to ask for a while: is there any sort of timeline for the bigger things in the destiny universe? One of my characters I've written as 568y/o at 0YW (start of D2) and I want to flesh out her lore a bit by figuring out a chronological layout of her experiences. Are there any time frames (D2-relative) for things like when the tower was built, when/how long the warlords were, SIVA crisis, and like when which factions (human/otherwise) were around and where? Thankie!

Somewhat, yeah. There's a few sources for our best guesses at the timeline, though there aren't any hard dates or years. Any mention of specific time periods and amount of years is SUPER rare so we can't really tell with any accuracy how old someone is or anything like that. Your character could be roughly placed at some point in the Dark Age, most likely, though when exactly, hard to tell. It's usually just our best guesses and estimates and they sometimes vary a lot. We still don't know how long has it been since the Collapse, despite Neomuna that must be able to have reliable records (this post is honestly the closest attempt to find that out, with some caveats, but with the lack of anything better, this seems to be the most tangible way to tell, maybe).

Ishtar has a handy timeline feature. I haven't gone through all of it myself and there could be some mistakes or stuff that's not entirely clear or stuff that's contentious (not all events are equally easy to place and there's some variation in opinions), but it should be fine to orient yourself in general terms. (uh, if you go to Ishtar and see a lot of fish, don't worry about it. They're running a joke right now. It's Fishtar Collective. All lore is fine however lmao)

There's also this one which I think is pretty popular because it's visually nice, though I can't find a more updated one. I'm not sure if the guy who made it ever released anything beyond this one (this was last updated for Season of the Worthy). I think it works on the same principles as the Ishtar one.

#destiny 2 #timeline #ask #the most sought after thing in the lore: detailed timeline #i definitely think they're deliberately making it vague and that for some of this stuff there aren't any real answers #can be frustrating for many reasons but unlikely to change #for writing i'd suggest just not going too in-depth with it and to keep things as vague as possible

[softpine]

please tell me rn theres not gonna be in-friend group dating bc if they break up who gets custody of asa!

as if asa isn’t the glue holding their crazy asses together... don’t worry about it fjkjsds

#actually they wouldn't even know each other if it weren't for asa #stevie and elaine sat next to each other in class but they didn't hang out after school until asa invited them to #jada most definitely wouldn't have talked to stevie or elaine first #even if one of them sought jada out they wouldn't have become close if it weren't for asa pushing them to talk #and. well. the traumatic incident that bonded all 4 of them never would've happened if it weren't for asa being there. #(finn only stopped the car to save asa. stevie/elaine/jada were just collateral lmao) #he's the glue!! #asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers

[o5-10]

Oh my goodness! A rain renewal! That would be so nice! I would say you could even bring silly rain-boots but I am not entirely convinced you know how to wear anything but heels. So sad. </3

Thirty-eight people have mistaken them for the alternate reality overseer of which they totally are aware of's existence and people have not just been calling them an eyesore instead. It's very very very rough for the poor dear. </3 I will pass on your hopes and dreams.

- 💖

I've worn flats, but it was not for good reasons.

How tragic for them. Get well soon.

#employ #across the bleed #ask sparkly heart #identity redacted #the answers sought

[chiefambassador-archive]

@dalishflame​​: finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for .

at a certain point, the conversation on the inquisitor’s balcony becomes more than simply a discussion of work between two colleagues.  this is something that josephine has noticed over time, though she has done her best to set her perceptions ( or, hopes, was it? ) aside.  still, she is only human—a human who feels in spite of herself and irrespective of her position.  against her better judgment, she has grown to care for atreion a great deal, beyond any limits of an advisor or friend.

she anticipates nothing.  given the nature of her profession, in fact, she knows better than anyone that there must be nothing.  so, as they stand there, watching the sun retreat behind the mountain peaks, she reflects on the electrified sensation of the air between them, particularly as they both fall quiet.  josephine remembers to breathe in that instant, the words, ‘perhaps i should go,’ perched on the tip of her tongue.  they never stood a chance.

in a moment that suspends belief, she finds her hands on atreion’s arms and their lips against hers.  the relief she feels is palpable, leading her to all but melt into them.  like a once-taut rope being cut from its perpetual suspension, she leans up into the kiss with a soft sigh.  his lips are soft, just as she had imagined, and his familiar scent wreathes around her, nearly making her dizzy.  she thinks of nothing but them—forsaking duty or reason.  her hands travel up to rest at the base of their neck.  for these several seconds, there is no inquisition; there is only this, and she is content to let the rest of the world fade into the background.

#hashtag we did it joe #dalishflame #[ ♛ ] i will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one » answered asks. #[ ♛ ] the blossoms slept — i sought a place where nothing lovely grew » verse: inquisition.

[everlastiingiimmortals]

"There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act childish at times!" From Guinaifen to Jing Yuan !

Raw lines. Closed! | @avaere

"Mm..." Jing Yuan strokes his chin, feigning thoughtfulness at Guinaifen's declaration.

"Indeed, you speak wisely, Miss Guinaifen," the tone of his voice slips deeper as if he's pondering something of great importance. "Losing the simple joys of childhood is a grave matter. And I am not just an adult, but old. Listen! My bones creak when I sit."

(They do no such thing as he pulls over a stool far too small for his height with his foot and promptly sits down, as gracefully and smoothly as a short-lived man in his twenties.)

Now, no longer towering over her but rather looking up, he plants his heels against the rung of the stool and props his arms against his knees, practically curled up into a ball and squatting on this tiny seat rather than sitting. "Well, Doctor Guinaifen? What is the first step I should take to revitalize the childish nature of my youth, hm?"

#//an answer sought; (ASK) #avaere #//everlasting; (IC) #//the dozing general; (JING YUAN) #HE'S SO SILLY...

[marshmellowtea]

i realized recently that a problem i have in many fandoms i’ve been in is that i oftentimes will pine after the recognition and acceptance of people in the fandom that i thought were cool who most of the time barely knew me or barely had an interest in me, instead of putting my energy into the cool people who i already talked to and are interested in being friends with me

#and it’s not like i was making an effort to talk to most of these people i sought after #(though some i did reach out to or have some form of relationship with) #but it was often one of those things that was just. never gonna be as deep as i wanted if it happened at all and honestly that’s okay #i’m really glad i noticed this pattern so i can actually try to change it instead of stewing in it :’) #i really need to stop wasting my time fixating on relationships that are just Not Going To Exist or at least Exist In The Way I Want Them To #it’s more productive to try to foster friendships with people who actually are showing interest in reciprocation #even if those also don’t turn out to be super quote unquote deep that doesn’t matter cuz there’s still the connection there and that’s still #important that still /matters/ #that’s part of why i’m trying to be better at answering asks gdtgcdhvf #even if i’m not like. perfect executive dysfunction still exists of course RIP #but i still wanna like! make an effort and stuff #anyway this got really rambly just uh. thanks to everyone who sticks with me and my bs :’) #marshy speaks

[studentwizard]

What kind of magic do you study? Do you study...evil magic?

for legal purposes i have to say only academically and i would never ever use it! i'm especially interested in necromancy and the like. there used to be this person--i think their name was evil craig?--who would give guest lectures on necromancy in class sometimes, but they got banned from the university after they wrecked the lecture hall summoning ketamine ape as a "demonstration". the wizard council arrested them and it was this whole thing.

#i think they broke out of the jail dungeon though #sometimes you can see them at the graveyard near the uc digging up bones and stuff. maybe for a skeleton army #or maybe they're just a freak idk <|:/ #if you spray them with water they hiss at you and scamper away though it's really funny #// my first ask <|:) #// it was probably a mutual but idc. i'm so popular and i'm gonna get a good grade in wizardposting #answers sought (asks) #wizardposting

[fayevalcntine]

"I don't want Edwina to simply be a plot device for someone else's story or a vehicle for the story to progress. I want her to be her own person and to have her own plot and narrative."

Thats all she said? Every actor has said this about a character they played. I wish people who blindly criticized had the slightest bit of understanding in the industry. And Chris himself has said he wanted to expand Edwina’s role as well because in the book lets be real she’s expendable. If they didn’t already write Edwina the way they wanted to they weren’t going to change it for Charithra they’s just rehire. They didn’t need to cast her. People need to direct their ire at the showrunners. Edwina was great in the show but not everyone has to agree but Charithra didn’t come in making demands. The only writing choice that was changed by her casting was making Edwina her a dark skinned Indian woman instead of mixed and Mary Indian instead of white. Which if people are mad about that-gross.

Btw , I think the account that was spreading rumours about the cast hating Charithra was actually talking about her not liking Simone . I'm not sure where that came from either

I don't know where that came from either but it's disgusting regardless since it also makes zero sense. And as you said, if Charithra had come in making demands for her character they would've just as easily rehired her and gone with another actress. Given that Chris also said this I feel like even before Charithra was cast they probably knew what they wanted to do with her character, so we're only lucky to have gotten her to play Edwina and for Shelley to play Mary because if Edwina had been a biracial Indian woman and Mary had been white, and they had kept the whole wedding episode + Sheffield dinner, the optics of that entire thing would've been absolutely awful.

#bridgerton #edwina sharma #just the whole bit about the biracial daughter being the most 'sought after' debutante #vs the dark-skinned one being called a beast by the gossip columnist is bad #charithra chandran #asks #answered #anonymous #ask

[gibbearish]

someone: hey i think youre pretty reasonable can i get your advice on this

me: well if it were me in your shoes i think what i would do is this but thats just what i would do i dont know if it would fit your situation or the details or if theres something im missing so take everything i say with a grain of salt please dont feel like you have to do any of these options theyre just suggestions you can 100% take it or leave it do whatever works best for you i am not a professional and have no credentials

#in todays episode of 'neuroses unwinding entirely on their own out of nowhere': mayhaps it is silly for me to worry that the person #who deliberately sought out my advice feels like im pressuring them into acting a specific way with that advice #and that in fact if the advice i give is bad they will simply Choose not to follow it #and that in no way does Answering the question i was asked give the impression im trying to make them do things #👍 #origibberish

[loyalpromise]

❛ can’t sleep ? ❜ - for sadie ! ( i'm going to send for a few muses just for choices, don't feel obligated to answer them all )

          she  hadn’t  heard  him  get  up,  honey  eyes  cutting  back  at him,  squinting  in  an  attempt  to  see  him  through  the  dark.  sure  enough,  there,  illuminated  in  the  lantern  light  was  arthur.

          “ real  observant,  ain't  you,  arthur ? ”  she  rasped  with  a  teasing  lilt.  she  let  her  words  linger  for  a  moment  before  she  sighed  and  looked  ahead  of  herself  again,  down  to  the  river  below.

          “ ain’t  got  much  want  to, ”  she  admitted,  voice  noticeably  softer.  “ figured  it  didn’t  do  much  good  to  toss  and  turn  all  night,  anyhow. ”  while  it  had  gotten  easier  for  her  to  go  about  her  daily  life  after  the  passing  of  her  husband,  she  still  had  those  nights  where  the  nightmares  kept  coming  and  she  didn’t  know  peace  of  mind.  so,  she’d  sit  and  look  at  the  stars  until  the  sun  rose,  usually  alone,  but  she  found  that  she  didn’t  mind  arthur’s  company  this  time.

#redemn #thanks for sending them in! <3 #[ revenge sought. ] sadie a. / interaction. #[ revenge sought. ] sadie a. / answered. #ask prompt.