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protectwoc · 4 years

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why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

#john boyega #anti reylo #raetalks

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idecidedtowriteagain · 5 years

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Co-stars (2) ~ h.o, t.h

A/N: so here’s part two, please comment, I swear this started as just a Harrison x reader but as I wrote it Tom just kept coming up more and I don’t know how to feel about it. So there’s going to be at least one other part but this might accidentally become a series. Anyway enjoy, sorry if it sucks, I wrote it in about two hours, but I’ll edit it later and will post the next part.

Words: 1830

Warnings: cursing

“Harrison?”

“Y/N?”

“So, umm, I take it that y’all know know each other?” Tom says trying to break the tension after a few seconds of Harrison and you looking at each other.

“Tom, why didn’t you tell me that ‘Y/N/N’ was Y/N Y/L/N?” Harrison said a bit accusatory.

“You didn’t ask?”

“Okay that’s fair, Harrison, look who you’re speaking to.” I said jokingly as I roll my eyes at Tom. Although he was amazing, you had to admit he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

“Okay true, but mate, you’ve heard me fawn over her for the longest and you never even mentioned her before!”

“You’ve fawned over me?”

“You fawned over her?”

“Is that literally all you gathered from what I just said.” Harrison said while blushing but he looked like he was seconds away from slapping Tom for his obliviousness.

“Hey look, she’s the one that also said you were hotter than me, which is an obvious lie, but at least the feelings are mutual. And to think I was worrying about y’all not getting along, so anyway how do you know each other.” Tom chuckles at the first part but still confused at how his best friends knew each other.

“He and I are the lead in the new movie I was telling you about.” You say before finally taking a drink, hoping the alcohol would soon help diffuse the tension and trying to ignore the ‘mutual feelings’ comment.

“You mean the movie you haven’t told me shit about.” Tom says clearly salty you wouldn’t say anything.

“Yeah! That’s the one.” You say laughing.

“Wait I have one more question, Tom, why am I barely meeting her now if y’all are such good friends?” Harrison asks. Thankfully not acknowledging the other ‘mutual feelings’ comment as well.

“To be sure, I don’t know, I guess it didn’t really come up, she was there for the premiere of Civil War, Homecoming, and a few more but you would think you would have met at the Homecoming premiere but I guess not, she was my guest, well along with my family. She literally sat next to me, when she’s come to visit on set, she usually hangs out with Harry. I don’t really know, I wasn’t trying to hide her or anything.” Tom says perplexed as he realizes that he had lots of chances to introduce y’all before.

“That’s wild, but the past is in the past. At least we know each other now, even if you didn’t introduce us.” You joked, hoping that Tom wouldn’t feel bad about it.

“Yeah, I guess, still can’t believe you let me embarrass myself, though.” Harrison joked.

“Mate, you embarrass yourself regardless.” Tom laughed.

“That’s true, you literally bowed to me today.” You said joining in on the teasing.

“Mate! You bowed to her! You’re such an idiot.” Harrison grew red at the teasing.

“Hey look, at least he can recognize talent. Who has bowed to you, Tommy.” You tried to defend Harrison slightly.

“Lots of people, if you must know.”

“Leaning down to see your short ass doesn’t count, dummy.” You retaliated.

“Damn, I didn’t think I could idolize her more than I already did.” Harrison laughed.

“She’s literally shorter than me!” Tom says trying to defend himself but his words go unheard as you and Harrison continue to laugh at his expense.

The night goes on and it’s pretty relaxed from then. Tom filling you in on what has happened, how his family misses you, future projects he’s looking at, you listen and agree to go visit his family on the next break you have. Harrison also makes small conversation, haven’t talked to him since they stopped filming for Far From Home.

Tom manages to get some information about the movie and as expected, he starts teasing both you and Harrison for being love interests. You just joke around about it instead of getting flustered, like Harrison. Though you constantly try to turn the tables on Tom, which made him, mostly, leave it alone since you knew too many embarrassing childhood moments and Harrison was more than happy to share some from his time of knowing him.

Time passed too fast as it was nearing three am, and y’all were all slightly buzzed. But you decided to call it a night since you and Harrison, also Tom who decided to tag along, had to be on set in about five hours.

“Tom, you coming back to my apartment? Or?” I say as I start opening the app to ask for an Uber.

“Well I have my hotel, that is literally a five minute walk from here, why don’t you just stay with me? You can borrow some of my clothes, it’s not like you’re going to film in that, although you should, you look hot.”

You roll your eyes at his alcohol influences words. “Thank you, Tommy, I think I’ll take you up on that, you better have brought my favorite hoodie.” You accept his offer since you were both going to go to the same place tomorrow and it was closer than your apartment and you wanted to take advantage of every second of sleep that you could.

“Harrison, you good? Or do you also need a place?” You ask noticing his gloomy expression.

“I’ll be fine, I also have a place about 10 minutes from here. Are y’all going to need a ride to set tomorrow?” Harrison asks looking between you and Tom, as if trying to figure something out.

Me and Tom say yes, if it’s not too much trouble. “It’s no problem, I’ll see y’all in a few hours.” He says as he hugs us and makes his way to his awaiting Uber.

You and Tom make small talk on the way to the hotel, it was nice to talk to Tom and see him so carefree since he didn’t have the pressure that sobriety usually tends to carry. You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics, probably drawing attention to y’all as you make your way to the elevator.

Once you get to the floor, y’all hurry to the room, ready to change and sleep after a long day. Tom hurries to find the hoodie he brought specially for you, although he would never admit if, and some sweatpants that wouldn’t fit you too big. At this point Tom just took off his shirt and changed into some sweatpants as well, trying to go to sleep as quickly as possible. Neither of you speaking, at this point it was a comfortable routine, taking you back to the days when you and Tom would have sleepovers at each other’s houses, to when you moved in with Tom in his London flat, you hardly having time to actually go back, but it was still home.

You put an alarm to wake up you at seven before putting your hair into a messy bun and getting into bed, you and Tom get comfortable, he wraps an arm around you and you cuddle into his side. You both quickly give in to the exhaustion.

“Y/N! Tom! I swear to God, y’all both better be up!” Harrison yells from outside the hotel room.

“Shit! Tom! Wake up! I think we slept through the alarm!” You try to shake Tom awake, before giving up and going to open the door for Harrison.

His smile wavers for a second seeing as you’re still wearing Tom’s clothes before you tell him to come inside before you run to the bathroom to put on your dress from the day before. You quickly brush your teeth using the extra toothbrush the hotel thankfully provided, and you throw your hair into a ponytail, your hair looking not as much as a mess due to the bun it had been in. You put on Tom’s hoodie again before exiting the bathroom, thankfully Tom was now awake and in jeans while searching for a shirt.

Harrison standing by the bed, quiet as he waits for you and Tom to finish getting ready.

“Tom, just put on the same shirt as yesterday, it’s not like anyone saw you in it besides us.” You say, frustrated from the possibility of being late.

“No, I have a reputation to maintain, Y/N/N.” Tom jokes.

“Bitch, no one knows you on set.” You say, Tom’s behavior making you calm down for a quick second.

As you help Tom look for another shirt your alarm goes off. You go and turn it off before you realize that you didn’t sleep through your alarm.

“Harrison, what the fuck! It’s not even seven yet, we don’t have to be on set for another hour.” You scream, now slightly mad that you didn’t sleep in as much as you thought you did. But also slightly glad that you weren’t going to be late.

“Look, in my defense I’m driving y’all so I got up early so we could get some quick breakfast, so I’m not going to apologize for looking out for your health.” Harrison states while trying not to laugh at you and Tom’s look of betrayal.

“Alright, I guess.” You mumble, feeling bad that you got mad at a nice gesture.

Tom finally finishes getting dressed. You swear you were ready to murder him, he’s not even the star of the show and he took longer than you did. You all make your way downstairs and into Harrison’s car to drive to a nearby diner.

The diner is thankfully not that busy and you are quickly seated at a booth, you and Tom sitting together while Harrison sits on the opposite side. You all quickly look at the menu and proceed to order as soon as you can, hoping the food won’t take that long so you can still make it to set on time.

As you wait for your food, you start some small talk, thankfully it was less tense than yesterday but this time you didn’t even have alcohol to ease the tension.

“So are we not going to talk about it?” Harrison asks not looking at Tom or you.

“About what?” You ask, looking at Tom, trying to figure out if he knew what Harrison was asking about but he gave you the same questioning look.

“You two.”

“What about us? You’re being vague.” You state, not seeing where he was going with this.

“Y’all are dating.”

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #tom holland x reader

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ibelily · 7 years

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The Horsemen

I don’t even know what this is, but it’s been in my head so it needs to get out ! I might make it a multi-chaptered thing, with a chapter for each side if y’all like that idea. Also I’m tagging @demerite, @lana--22 and @taki-random because you all sencouraged me to write this so it’s really all your fault ... <3

Highschool AU, OC’s Point Of View

Pairing: none

TW: mentions of suicide, of death, of physical fights (i think that’s it, pls tell me if i missed something)

Length: 2.1k yeaaaah buddy

Also, i apologise if I got any of the biblical references wrong, Wiki was my main ressource

Urgh, I hate firsts. Firsts are always awkward, and ultimately disappointing. At top of the list is definitely the first day of school, especially when your first day happens to be in the middle of the school year. I had just managed to figure out how my locker worked and had turned to walk to my class when I was pulled out of the way just before being bulldozed by a mammoth of a teenager, who walked past as if nothing had even happened.

I turned to my savior to see someone even shorter than myself, wearing a baggy yellow hoodie and black skinny jeans, with white Converse. They had short, bright red hair that clashed beautifully with their hoodie, and a simple grey backpack was slung casually over one shoulder.

“Sorry about that” they said, letting go of my sleeve. “You were about to get trampled”

“Yeah I noticed” I said as I dusted myself off.

“Haven’t seen you around. You new?” They asked.

“Yeah, first day.”

”That’ll explain it. You’re lucky Famine didn’t flatten you. Usually everyone gets out of his way quickly so he wouldn’t have stopped.”

“Yeah I was worried there for a sec- Hang on did you just say Famine?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of a long story. Tell you what, I’ll tell you at lunch, every newbie deserves to know the story.” They stuck out a hand for me to shake, smiling widely. I took it in mine and gave my best firm handshake, surprised at the upfront friendliness.

“I’m Chris, by the way” they said just as the bell rang “... and I’m late for AP History. Meet you here at noon? We’ll go get lunch” I nodded dumbly as they took off in the direction of their classroom. Not bad I thought, I’ve already made a friend. I shrugged my backpack further up onto my shoulder and went to find my own class.

*****

Midday soon came around, and I found myself in the cafeteria with Chris, looking at a surprisingly good school lunch.

“They’re called the Horsemen” Chris started without preamble as we put down our trays and sat in the hard plastic seats.

“The horsemen?” I repeated.

“Named after the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

“Oh. I’m not a christian, I’ve never heard that story before” I explained.

“Well in the New Testament, in the Book of Revelation, there’s a chapter that talks about a scroll that is sealed with seven seals. The Lamb of God -which is just another name for Jesus- opens four of the seals which brings down the Horsemen, the harbingers of the Apocalypse and of the Judgement Day.”

“Sounds morbid” I joke.

“Well, that’s the Bible for you” They chuckled. We chatted for a while about other things: where I was before, how I was liking the town so far, the usual mundane things. I found I really liked Chris, they had an uplifting personality and I quickly felt relaxed around them, something that didn’t happen often for me.

“Here they come” Chris announced, and I felt the room grow quieter as the door swung open. In walked a gang of five men -they definitely weren’t boys- who ambled their way over to the line to get some food, talking quietly amongst themselves. The other people in the queue tensed at the new additions, but carried on with whatever they were doing. The men didn’t seem to notice, or at least didn’t seem to care of their intimidating presence.

“That first one is Conquest.” Chris pointed at the first man, beginning their explanation “His real name is Roman, but no one calls him that anymore. He is what is commonly referred to as a man-whore. He’ll have sex with anything with a heartbeat. No ties, obviously. It’s just ‘Wham, Bam, thank you whoever’.”

I watched as Roman collected his food. He wore a white and red t-shirt, very form-fitting jeans and stylish sneakers. His hair was impeccably quiffed, and there was no denying his good looks. He shot a charming smirk at the lady serving him, and she turned bright red and giggled.

“He looks good, but I don't see how he’s so terrible” I defended.

“There's just something about him. Everyone knows how he operates and yet people fall under his charm and they're goners. They fall in love with him, and he knows it. He uses them for whatever he wants: information, tasks he doesn’t want to do, you name it. Once he's slept with someone, they become one of The Conquered. Half the school has been conquered by him so far, students and teachers alike.”

“Have you been... Conquered?” I asked tentatively. They chuckled in response.

“No, we asexuals are immune to his powers, a fact that annoys him greatly”

Conquest sat down at an empty table, casually ignoring all the loving eyes that followed him across the room. I turned back to the line as Chris continued.

“The next one is War. Real name: Logan. Don’t be fooled by the shirt and tie, he’s definitely the scariest of the four.”

Looking at Logan, I found that hard to believe. He was the very definition of ‘White & Nerdy’. He wore thick rimmed glasses, a crisp black shirt with every button done up, a bright blue tie fastened securely around his neck, and pressed trousers with smart black lace-ups. He had a neutral expression on his face, almost like a robot.

“How could he possibly be scary?” I asked incredulously. As I spoke, a freshman who wasn’t looking ahead of him walked straight into the man they called War. War turned his head rigidly to stare at the younger boy, who stuttered out a faint apology before running away, tripping over his own feet. War stared at the retreating figure, then returned to what he was previously doing, choosing his dessert.

“War has anger issues. He seems all monotonous, but don’t cross him, whatever you do. He will destroy you, quite literally. The last guy who pissed him off ended up in hospital for 2 months.”

“What did he do to anger him?” I gawked.

“No one knows. The stories go from having sex with his sister to tripping him up accidentally in the hallway. He’s also very protective of the others, so crossing them is crossing him.” Chris shuddered slightly and I found myself doing the same. The more I looked at War, the more he creeped me out; He was so robotic in his actions, his face devoid of all emotion. He joined Conquest at the table, sitting down mechanically opposite him.

“I suppose you’re already acquainted with Famine.” Chris joked, and I turned my head back to where Famine was filling his plate with everything in front of him.

“The name’s kind of ironic; He’s on the wrestling team so he eats a lot.” In contrast with the others, Famine seemed massive. Although he was of similar height, he was at least twice as wide. His blue shirt strained against his biceps and upper back as he leaned forward to grab even more food for his piled up plate. Everything about him was big.

“He doesn’t say much, but when he does speak you listen. If he tells you to do something, you do it. He’s got this authoritative tone in his voice that makes you feel like you have to obey. I reckon it’s the whole being a father thing” Chris shrugged.

“He’s a father?! He’s still in highschool!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah, he’s got two kids. Twins. Not many people know about them though. I only found out because I overheard a conversation between the four of them a while back. They’ve taken to calling him ‘Dad’ as a joke. His real name is Patton I think, but like all the others his name isn’t really used anymore”

As Famine sat down with the others, his plastic seat squeaked as he put all his weight on it. Without saying a word the other two gave him things off their plates to add to his mountain of food, Conquest holding out the kiwi in his hand with a disgusted look on his face.

Then the man that I assumed was the fourth Horseman stepped up to pay. He was slightly shorter and skinnier than the others, wearing a large black hoodie with black jeans and black sneakers. As he turned his head I noticed large purple bags underneath his eyes; It looked like he never slept.

“Who is he then?” I asked curiously.

“That’s Death.”

“Death?”

“Yup. I don’t know his real name, in fact I don’t think anyone does. He doesn’t like it so he makes the teachers and everyone call him either Death, and sometimes Anxiety.”

“That’s…weird”

“He gets called Anx most of the time anyway. He’s probably the least intimidating of the four, he’s actually quite nice, if a bit quiet. I had Art class with him last semester and we actually got on pretty well.” They explained. I watched as he took a seat with the others, jumping in and joining in on the conversation already taking place between them. He made a quick remark at Conquest, making Famine guffaw loudly and put his arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair. Looking at them interact, it was hard to imagine that any of them could be as horrid as Chris made them out to be.

“So why is he a Horseman?”

“Because of his reputation. There’s apparently a curse on him that means that anyone who gets close to him dies”

My eyes widened and I whipped my head around to stare at Chris.

“Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately. His parents died in a car accident when he was young, and he didn’t have any living relatives so he got shuffled around the care system for years. Apparently most of his foster parents died not long after taking him in, and others just dumped him back in the system. When he first came here he made friends with a girl. Her name was Emmy. She committed suicide three months later.”

“Oh my God, that’s heartbreaking.” I took another glance at him, and he had retreated slightly from the group, eating his lunch in silence.

“Anx sort of shut himself away after that, refusing to talk to anyone, not that he did much talking to begin with. It wasn’t until the gang decided to take him under their collective wings that he started to talk again. Now he’s the one that calms them down when they go a bit too overboard.”

I got a perfect example of that as a small commotion erupted from their table, making everyone’s heads turn to watch. War was standing up and leaning over the table, staring down angrily at Famine, who was staring back just as menacingly. I don’t know what had happened, but War’s face was getting increasingly red, and a vein had popped up on his forehead. Calmly, Anxiety got up and placed a gentle hand on Logan’s shoulder. The other snapped out of his staring contest to look at Anxiety. No words were exchanged, but Logan nodded at Anxiety and the pair sat back down. War extended a hand out to Famine who slapped his own against it, then they bumped fits and carried on the conversation they’d previously been having. For his part, Conquest hadn’t flinched at the interaction, he’d carried on eating his burrito as if it were a common occurrence. The whole scenario was bizarre, to say the least.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I turned back to the food line and remembered the fifth member of the group. He’d also paused at the interaction, but he’d quickly turned back to pick out his food.

“So who’s the fifth one? I thought there were only four horsemen” I asked.

“There are. That’s Thomas. He’s sort of like their ringleader. He’s the worst one of all”

I took a moment to watch him, and was surprised when he smiled and thanked the server for his food before picking up his tray and making his way to the table.

“He looks nice enough to me”

“Everyone thinks that at first. But you’ll learn, eventually. He’s like all four of the other rolled into one deceivingly sweet package.”

“So what do you call him then, if he’s not a Horseman?”

“What do you think? Who sent the Horsemen in the first place?”

I look at Chris blankly, confused. They lean in towards me, lowering their voice to a whisper. I leant in also, feeling the tension build in the air.

“He’s God, who else?”

#A sandersides fic #Anxiety sanders #roman sanders #Prince sanders #logan sanders #logic sanders #morality sanders #patton sanders #what even is this fic #i have no idea

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