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system-to-the-madness · 6 days

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Chances - Inui Magoroku x Reader

Pairing: Inui Magoroku x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Word Count: 3 051 Summary: After a fight with your boyfriend Magoroku, you return to K to help Kai and Gaku one last time A/N: I know this will literally get no notes, but I’m gonna post it anyway.

“You’ve changed, Kai.”

Leaning against the doorframe, just outside of view, you sighed quietly. Your uniform felt so familiar around your body, comfortingly tight in just the right places but still leaving enough space to move freely and elegantly. You had gotten so used to this uniform, so used to standing right outside of this door, listening for the orders to be called, that it was hard to believe this might never happen again. It was even harder to believe Magoroku wasn’t standing in the kitchen.

The sound of footsteps made you perk up, and you pushed away from the doorframe as you saw Hotei, Pena, Mingjen and Jorudan cross through the room, heading straight for the kitchen.

“Are they in there,” Hotei asked, and you nodded curtly, before the four men brushed past you. Magoroku was not with them. Of course he was not. He probably was half-way back to Kyoto by now. Your heart sank in your chest, as you turned and followed the chefs into the kitchen, a kitchen that felt painfully devoid of life without Magoroku.

“Kai! Are you okay?” Hotei stopped a respectful distance away from the former head chef.

He looked pale now, you noted, weak, as he was leaning against the table. His eyes scanned over everyone for a moment before he averted them.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“I’ve been worried about you,” Hotei admitted, as your own eyes began wandering through the room, stopping at the stove Magoroku had always used the most often.

It felt wrong standing here without him now. Maybe it had been a cruel thought, that you and he would not have lasted forever no matter what would have happened. After all, you were still young; you had begun dating when you had only been twenty. To think you would stay together forever had always been an illusion, these thoughts that you could see yourself marrying him had been nothing but hormone induced trickery of your brain, right?

Still, you hadn’t expected it to end the way it had. Had it even ended? Wasn’t it normal for couples to fight? The two of you never had fought before, you didn’t know.

Sure, you understood his perspective, why he hadn’t wanted to come back to K, but why hadn’t he paid you the same respect of at least trying to understand why you wanted to come back to K and serve one last time under Kai and Gaku? Instead, his insistence on you deserving more had made you so upset, that you had ended up leaving the café you had sat in together.

He hadn’t come home that night, and since his plans were to head back to Kyoto, you weren’t sure he ever was going to come back either. Why hadn’t he been able to understand that the reward of helping your friends out one last time was more important than the risk of getting your trust broken again?

Wasn’t this what you had been doing for him too, again and again? Fought through both of your stress induced annoyances, giving each other chances, even when you were exhausted and hurt from words spoken thoughtlessly? Why hadn’t he been able to understand, that you wanted to do the same for Kai and Gaku, too?

Having spaced out, you only snapped back into the moment, when your (former?) boyfriend's name got mentioned.

“You should thank Magoroku,” Hotei told Gaku.

“Huh?” The young man’s eyes flickered over the staff as if looking for his friend, before coming back to Hotei.

“We’re only here,” explained Renna, “because Magoroku persuaded us.”

Confused you looked over to her. Magoroku had persuaded them to come back? After all he had said to you last night? After all the things he had said that he had seemed so convinced off when you had talked to him last? When had he gone to see them? After you had left him in anger and disappointment?

“Magoroku,” Gaku asked perplexed.

But if Magoroku had convinced the others to come back, then why-

“Despite that, why isn’t he here,” Mingjen asked, phrasing the question that had popped in your own head.

“Maybe- Kyoto,” Pena suggested, making your heart sink.

“Too bad,” Jorudan sighed.

“Ne, (y/n), where is he,” Hotei asked.

You shook your head. “I- I don’t know. We had a fight, yesterday. Because I wanted to come back, at least for this last night, but he wouldn’t understand why. I left and- he must have come to search for you all afterwards. He didn’t come home…”

“Sorry, I’m late!”

The familiar voice of your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) along with his fast-approaching steps sent a dagger through your heart. So he had come after all? You watched with bated breath as he came running into the kitchen, still tying the apron behind his neck.

“What about Kyoto,” Renna asked, as Magoroku’s eyes met anyone’s but yours.

“The bullet train was so crowded…”

You stared at him with his cheap excuse, the way his soft-brown dyed hair framed his face so gently. Looking at him hurt. Not because of the way it hurt how he had treated you, but because you knew how hard it must have been for him to come back here after all that had happened.

And he still had done it.

Any other day you would have walked over to him and squeezed his hand quickly, the way you had done so often over the past months while Gaku had begun losing sight of the team. Some nights it felt like this quick gesture was the only thing that held him together. But now you couldn’t do that. He might not want you to do it.

“Kai,” Magoroku turned to the former chef. “Long time no see.”

“A long time,” Kai nodded, and you couldn’t help but feel relief at the way they were looking at one another, both simply being glad that they got to be here together. Couldn’t this be enough for tonight? Just being here, with everyone, the way it used to be, even if Magoroku and you weren’t what you used to be?

Suddenly Gaku shot forward, engulfing Magoroku in a tight embrace.

“Thank you, Magoroku,” the younger man grinned.

“That hurts, Gaku,” Magoroku complained, but you heard the smile in his voice as he patted the other man’s back.

“Kai-san!” Suddenly the other waiters stepped through the door.

So, you were all together again, really all of you. The way it used to be, the way you had wished it would be again. For one last time you would all work together to create an unforgettable culinary experience. You would try to make every second of it count.

“This is fun,” Kai smiled.

When had been the last time he had called working with everyone ‘fun’? You couldn’t remember. Had he ever?

“Okay then,” Hotei decided. “Let’s get started.”

Kai sighed, rubbing his face, and got up from where he had sat on his chair in front of everyone, but Gaku stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.

“Kai-san. Please stay here,” he insisted, and gently guided him to sit back down. “I’ll do the finishing.”

A tingling at the side of your head alarmed you to someone watching you. Looking up, you found Magoroku quickly turning his head away.

It had always been like that before you had started seeing each other two years ago, even back in Kyoto, when you had still worked for his father, before Kai had recruited you into his team. He had always stared at you, as if he couldn’t get enough of seeing you.

You had gotten used to it, over the course of your relationship with him, his eyes finding you and following you in every room you stepped into together, unless he was cooking. His attention always seemed to be so focused on you, and you liked that it gave you an excuse to watch him too, the way he always moved so elegantly while unaware that he was being watched, and turning clumsy and bashful as soon as he noticed your eyes on him. Even two years of dating, one and a half years of living together, had not changed that.

Now his eyes were averted from yours, focusing on Gaku instead, who stepped away from Kai’s side and joined the team of chefs, but you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over to you again.

“But,” Kai continued, “from there, please give us instructions. Like back then.”

At Kai’s exhale, you focused back on him, fully aware that Magoroku’s eyes snapped back to you the moment yours left him. Kai smiled and took a deep breath before looking up.

“We have one guest today,” he spoke, his voice loud and clear, powerful, the same way you had always known it to be. His little speeches before starting the work were what settled you into work-mode, and even though it had been a year since his voice had last sounded through the kitchen this clearly, it felt like it had only been yesterday, and habitually you straightened your posture and stood up straighter. “We will serve him an appetizer in five minutes. Soup in ten.” The whole team straightened up with you, expectantly shifting their weight from one leg to the other. “Fish in 17.” Kai slapped the surface of the table before standing up. “Meat in 24. Let’s give him perfect and efficient service.”

“Oui!”

The single word spoken from everyone in unison made your heart soar. This was what you had missed. Sure, it was sad that things here would come to an end, but at least you got the chance to say goodbye to your life at K properly this time.

Everyone moved to work immediately, and you, too, took your position behind the counter, ready to receive the first plate to serve.

Just a few minutes later, as expected of the perfectly coordinated team at K, Gaku pushed the plate with the appetizer over to you.

“Gaku,” Kai spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll go.”

“Are you sure,” Gaku asked, making you hesitate to pick up the plate.

“Yes,” Kai answered with determination, and you stepped back from the counter, giving him better access to the plate.

He also continued serving the other dishes, while you stood at the doorway between the guest hall and the kitchen, half of your attention in either room; ready to cater to any demand Shibuya-san had but also keeping an eye on Magoroku.

He still had not met your eyes directly, heightening your anxiety by the minute. Of course, you knew he was working right now, and didn’t have time to think about anything other than the food in front of him, and you weren’t asking him to do anything different. But you still felt the since last night increasing urge to just walk up to him, grab his face and kiss him, tell him, show him, that you still wanted to be with him. The fact that you couldn’t was not as terrorizing as the idea that he might reject that confession. How had you gone from convinced you would marry him eventually to scared of asking for a kiss in less than a day?

And before you knew it, it was time to serve the main course.

“It’s almost time, isn't it,” Renna sighed, as the chefs gathered around the counter, watching Gaku finish the last plate.

“But he hasn’t said a single word…” Magoroku added, still not meeting your eyes. You felt sick at the thought that maybe it really was over.

Gaku stood back up straight, his entire focus on Kai as he announced: “It’s done” and pushed the plate over to him.

With one last look at Gaku, Kai grabbed the plate and left the kitchen, the other chefs following him. You were about to join them outside, when suddenly a hand closed around your wrist, holding you back.

Surprised you looked over your shoulder, staring straight into the familiar deep brown eyes of Magoroku.

“Wait,” he asked, his voice heavy and pleading.

Turning around to him fully, you couldn’t help the way your heart suddenly started hammering in your chest. What was he about to say? Was he going to tell you what you had suspected he might do the whole time since you had left yesterday, tell you it was over?

Inquisitively you tilted your head at him, trying to read his thoughts through those eyes you knew so well. A crease had formed on his forehead, and he looked pained. Slowly his hand slipped away from your wrist, the lack of his warmth leaving a cold shadow on your skin.

“Can we talk,” he asked, his voice low.

“We should join the others-”

“I’ll make it quick?”

The way he looked at you, it was easy to tell how much courage it had taken him to approach you. If you walked away now, there was a chance he would never talk to you again, and you would forever be left in the knowledge that you hadn’t been strong enough to face the pain of losing the first person you had ever truly loved.

When you didn’t turn away, Magoroku took in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, for what I said yesterday,” he confessed. “I was so worried about you getting hurt again by Gaku and Kai that I didn’t realise that I was hurting you, too. I thought a lot about what you said, that to you it was more important to help your friends one last time than to be disappointed. And I realised the same was true for me, too. I should have had more trust in you knowing what you need to do for yourself. Please forgive me.”

You bit your lip.

“Why did you come here? Just to please me?”

“No,” Magoroku answered, “I came because my friends needed my help. I was scared of meeting you here, because I wasn’t sure if you’d be angry at me, but I decided helping Kai and Gaku was more important.”

“I understand,” you sighed, and took a step forward. “And I forgive you. I was upset that you didn’t seem to try to understand my point of view, but I never wanted to lose you.”

“You haven’t lost me,” Magoroku shook his head, taking your hands in his. They were bigger than yours, warm, a little rough from his hard work every day, and still a little wet from when he had washed his hands not even minutes prior.

At his gentle touch and his reassuring words, you felt your throat close up, a telltale sign that you were about to cry. In the middle of a Michelin-star kitchen of all places.

“I was so worried when you didn’t come home,” you admitted, and quickly Magoroku pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear as your arms wrapped around his familiar body. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

For a few moments you stood like that, just holding each other, ignoring the rest of the world around you.

“Are you still coming back to Kyoto with me,” Magoroku asked eventually, pulling away enough to be able to look at your face.

Quickly you nodded. “I want to, yes. Does this mean that we’re good? I don’t want to lose you.”

Magoroku smiled a sad smile before he nodded. “I told you, you’re not gonna lose me. Not this easily anyway.” He shifted around for a moment, his usual sign that he was nervous about something before he repeated. “You’re not gonna lose me. You’re the best thing that has happened in my life in a very long time and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Confused you watched him, as he pulled one of his hands away from your waist where it had rested and reached into one of his pockets.

“I wanted to ask you this a long time ago, but it never seemed to be the right moment. It took me a while to realise the best moment is always the present, so I’m telling you again: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And if you feel the same…” He trailed off, instead raising a delicate ring between the two of you, which he had pulled from his pocket. But you couldn’t even be bothered to look at the ring, instead staring into his black eyes. They were darker than space and you knew if you kept eye contact with him too long, you’d get lost in them, forgetting everything that had been going on. So instead you cupped his face and pulled him into a soft kiss, into which he melted immediately, his lips warm against yours as he kissed back without urgency.

“I also want to spend the rest of my life with you,” you whispered into the kiss, feeling more than seeing the smile that spread over his face before he leant in and kissed you again, while taking your hand and slipping the ring over your finger. It was only after a few minutes of soft and gently exchanged kisses, that he eventually pulled away.

“Let’s go look for the others,” he suggested, taking your hand in his and together you walked out of the kitchen to see what Shibuya-san had to say about the main course the team had created for him.

As you left the kitchen for the last time, you quickly glanced back over your shoulder. When you first had stepped in there, you had thought your path was clear before you: work for Kai and eventually get over your crush on Magoroku. It was incredible, how much had changed since then. Now your path seemed rather hazy, going back to Kyoto, working in Magoroku’s father’s restaurant together with him. But beyond that? What would come after? Would there be an after? It didn’t matter, not really. Whatever came next, you would face it the same way you had faced every other change and challenge so far. And from now on you wouldn’t have to do it alone anymore, the warm hand engulfing yours reminded you; you and Magoroku would face any challenge together.

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system-to-the-madness · 6 days

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Time to reblog this, because it's moved too far down my dash

update 24/04/21 (1pm)

finished parts: 6 working on: words written: ≈ 27000 thoughts: i took a break, wrote some other stuff, and generally just lived life, but I hope i'll get to finish this eventually

update 24/04/21 (5pm)

finished parts: 7 working on: words written: ≈ 31500

update 24/04/21 (10pm)

finished parts: 7 working on: 8 words written: 36000

Watch me try (and probably fail) write a "9 times Zuko thought you were perfect and the first time he told you" with a gaang member fem!reader. (I know, usually it's 5+1 or 4+1 but my brain kept coming up with stuff).

Let me know if you want to be tagged, should I ever actually post it (I plan to, I just don't know if I have the stamina to go through with it)

Status update 24/03/18:

Finished parts: - Working on: Part 1 Words written: 860

update 24/03/20

Finished parts: 1 Working on: Part 2 Words written: 3084

update 24/03/21

Finished parts: 2 Working on: Part 3 Words written: 5850

update 24/03/22

finished parts: 3 working on: words written: 7758

update 24/03/24

finished parts: 3 working on: 4 words written: 9562

update 24/03/25

finished parts: 3 working on: 4 words written: ≈ 11300 thoughts: ngl, i'm kinda struggling here. Not so much about coming up with ideas as with motivating myself to put these kinda perfect scenarios down, bc written down, they'll never be as detailed as in my imagination and somehow that's though rn (if someone's gonna hit me with that very specific Zuko line, i might cry). on the brighter side: I'm done with the parts that are heavily leaning on the show, so i got more creative freedom from now on going forwards.

update 24/03/26 (1am)

finished parts: 4 working on: words written: ≈ 12700

update 24/03/26(11pm)

finished parts: 5 working on: words written: ≈ 15600

update 24/03/27

finished parts: 5 working on: 6 words written: ≈16000

update 24/03/28

finished parts: 5 working on: 6 words written: ≈18000

update 24/03/29

finished parts: 5 working on: 6 words written: ≈20000 thoughts: jup, i think i'll split part 6 into at least two parts

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system-to-the-madness · 10 days

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Avatar the last Airbender - Masterlist

Zuko x Reader

Cherry Blossom Comfort

fluff - wc: 1 724 - Zuko opens up to you about his feelings about his family

#zuko x reader #masterlist #atla masterlist #avatar the last airbender x reader #alta x reader

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system-to-the-madness · 11 days

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Cherry Blossom Comfort 🌸 Zuko x Reader

Pairing: Zuko x Reader(can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 724 Warnings: Major Spoilers for the graphic novel “The Search” Summary: Zuko opens up to you about his feelings about his family

Sakura Festival Masterlist - Masterlist

Zuko’s head was heavily resting in your lap, cushioned on the deep red fabric of your gown pulled over your soft thighs. His amber eyes watched your face closely as you ran your hands through his dark hair, admiring the way the soft strands so effortlessly slipped through your fingers. It had been a while since you had sat like this. Between the conflict at the former colony of Yu Dao, now its own state, and the immediately following search for Zuko’s mother, there had been little time for any kind of quiet intimacy between Zuko and you.

After you had found his mother, and had returned to the palace, Zuko had been quieter than you knew him to be. He had spent a long time talking to his mother before leaving her and his half-sister in order to return to the palace, and you suspected that whatever they had discussed, was still occupying his mind. Usually, he talked to you about whatever thought he couldn’t get rid of, but so far, he had kept it shut inside, making you wonder if it simply was something he did not want to share, if he didn’t want to share it with you, or if he only needed a little more time to think about it.

A few days ago, he had eventually asked if you wanted to come to Ba Sing Se with him, an invitation you had gladly taken. You were staying at his uncle's place, a small house with only a few rooms, which gave the two of you the opportunity to share the narrow bed and cuddle up each night. In the palace, there were always guards around, and Zuko had been advised that it would be better if the two of you were not to sleep in the same room, at least not too often, to avoid gossip. Zuko had been in an especially bad mood after that for a while, grumbling about how he was your boyfriend and why anybody other than the two of you should be concerned with your relationship. But if he had learnt anything in the year of being Fire Lord, it was that certain advice was better to be followed, and as much as both of you hated it, this was one of the instances.

This in turn meant both of you cherished the time at Uncle Iroh’s home even more. With the excuse of not enough space, you got to share a bed each night, falling asleep in each other’s arms without the concern of guards walking in or starting rumours.

Both of you were aware that you could not hide out in Ba Sing Se forever, but you had agreed that a holiday of a few days would be acceptable, and so you spent the days either helping in Uncle Iroh’s tea shop or talking long walks in the parks that spread wide and far through the city.

Now you were sitting in the garden that belonged to his uncle’s tea shop, back against the trunk of a blooming cherry tree, Zuko laying spread out on the ground, his head resting in your lap. Usually, you would have taken the opportunity to ask him what he was thinking about, but considering the events of the past month, the almost-war at Yu Dao and the reunion with his mother, which he still hadn’t talked about, you thought it would be better if he were the one to talk first. Or not. While you were curious about what had happened, you never wanted to make him feel like you were prying into parts of his life he wasn’t ready to share with you.

His eyes flickered from your face to the pink blossoms above your heads, before focusing back on you, a smile tucking at his lips before he spoke.

“You know,” he began, his voice soft, “For the time in which I was thinking Ikem was my father, I was almost relieved.”

Ikem, the man his mother had loved before having been married to his father Ozai, and the man who she had returned to after leaving the palace.

Quietly you nodded, more to yourself than Zuko. You had suspected as much, judging from his behaviour and how he had talked about Ozai in these days.

“If Ikem had been my father, I’d never have to worry about turning out like Ozai again,” he explained, his eyes almost absentmindedly tracing your features, like a routine that brought him comfort. “I wouldn’t be in danger to turn as crazy and delusional as him, or Azula. And I could have stopped feeling guilty for not being as powerful a firebender as them.”

You wanted to disagree, tell him he was as good as them, but the truth was they were more powerful than he would probably ever be, even though he had by far the better techniques and his skills were more refined. The only ones who had ever looked down on him for that had been the two of them, and to you it couldn’t matter less how good at firebending he was, or whether he was a bender at all. But you had a feeling this talk was better to be had at another time. Right now it was more important that Zuko got to share his thoughts uninterrupted, while he felt safe and comfortable enough to confide you.

“And Azula…” He trailed off, his eyes leaving your face and returning to the blossoms above him. “I always got told these stories when I was little, about siblings sticking together, through thick and thin, like Sokka and Katara. But Azula and I never were like that. Even when I tried to be what I thought a big brother should be like, she only ever took pleasure in humiliating me. If I had been only her half-brother, it would have felt like an explanation, and I could have stopped feeling guilty for it.”

A crease was forming on his forehead, and you brought your hand from his hair to his face, brushing over his forehead with your thumb.

“Why would you feel guilty for the way she was treating you, hm,” you asked. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Zuko agreed. “Still there were times when I just wanted to get along with her. I just wanted a normal family. For my father to love me the way my mother had, for Azula to treat me like her brother, even if that includes the one or the other rivalry. But not like some second-class human being.”

“In Azula’s eyes everyone who isn’t her is a second-class human being,” you mumbled.

“I know,” Zuko sighed. “But still.”

“I’m sorry that you never got the family you wished for,” you whispered. “You have every right to be upset about that.”

“For a moment I thought, I could have that family, you know,” Zuko admitted. “If Ikem really would have been my father- I could have had a normal family, the one I always wanted, a father who’s proud of me, my mother who never made me feel small or irrelevant and a sister who actually sees me as a human and not just a challenge.” He took a deep breath. “But I always would have doubted my position as Fire Lord,” he continued. “I wouldn’t have known where I belonged anymore.” He hesitated for a moment before he added: “I think I would have even started to doubt that I belong at your side.”

“I wouldn’t have allowed you to doubt that,” you told him, and the crease on his forehead softened under your insistent brushing over it. You could have been only of little help if he had started doubting his position as Fire Lord, but you would never let him question that the two of you belonged with each other. That was not a matter of heritage, it was a matter of your hearts, your souls. As dramatic as it sounded, you were convinced that Zuko and you were bound together by more than the emotions you were aware of.

Even before you had really gotten to know another, back when you had still been enemies, you had always found and saved each other, even when all rationality had dictated the opposite. You had defied probability and logic again and again, consciously, and subconsciously, so much that by the time Zuko had turned up at the Wester Air Temple with an awkward “Hello, Zuko here”, you had been convinced you were cursed to always run into him.

Now you were convinced it was something else entirely, something that would lead you back to find each other no matter when and where you were. For a while Zuko had loved to throw around the word ‘destiny’, and even though you hardly believed in that concept, you couldn’t imagine to not be bound to him by destiny.

Zuko’s eyes found yours, clear amber staring up at you on a mixture of wonder and admiration.

“No,” he finally agreed with you. “I belong with you. No matter who I am, or where, or when. I’m yours.”

You smiled at the certainty in his voice, knowing that right now there was absolutely no doubt in neither of your hearts about that. Gently you brushed his hair aside and leant down to press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes flickered closed blissfully, and you grinned at the way he puckered his lips, expecting a kiss there too, but you pulled away teasingly. When he realised you weren’t going to kiss him, he blinked his eyes open, frowning at you disapprovingly, while snuggling into the palm with which you cupped his face. Sometimes it still surprised you how touch starved he was.

“And I’m yours,” you whispered, making him blush. After almost a year of exchanged whispers like this you would think he had gotten used to them yet, but you loved how you were still able to fluster him so easily.

“I’m just glad I get to be by your side,” Zuko confessed, making you smile.

“I’m glad, too,” you replied before leaning down again, this time softly kissing his lips, pretending like the soft sigh that slipped past his lips did not make your heart skip a beat, but you had a feeling Zuko knew either way.

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system-to-the-madness · 14 days

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I have NOT forgotten about Zuko, but life keeps happening for the past one and a half weeks and I still haven't found time to proof read and queue the story

#zuko x reader

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system-to-the-madness · 17 days

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Ajdlahdba one of my stories made another rec list! Thank you so much! Guys, check out the other stories on here too!

💜 cillian murphy fic recs (2) 💜

neil lewis | robert capa | lenny miller | emmett | henry wilson

🩷 (fluff) 🍆 (smut) 😈 (angst) 🩹 (hurt/comfort)

last updated: 04/04/24 | fic recs (1)

🎞️ Neil Lewis (Watching The Detectives)

you already know (series) by @mypoisonedvine (individual warnings)

she's my best friend by @differentclasss 🩷🍆👿

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you're the only one who makes me feel alive by @cillianhead 🍆👿

in my neighbors pool by @your-nanas-house 🩷🍆

dry humping by @pictureinme 🩷🍆

pool party by @slut4thebroken 🩷🍆

☀️ Robert Capa (Sunshine)

gravity by @system-to-the-madness 🩷

needy by @mysaintkitten 🩷🍆

🕵️ Lenny Miller (Anna)

daddy kink by @darthannie 🩷🍆

take me back to hawaii by @madame-wilsonn 🩷🩹

breeding kink by @darthannie 🍆

love of his life by @aphroditeslover11 🩷🍆

🤫 Emmett (A Quiet Place Part II)

good girl, stay quiet for me (series) by @salbei-141 (individual warnings)

hypothermia by @beastofburdenxo 🍆🩹

home improvement by @slut4thebroken 🩷🍆

it's always the quiet ones by @kiss-me-cill-me 🍆

scream for me by @cillianhead 🩷🍆

⚓ Henry Wilson (Dunkirk)

his little family by @madame-wilsonn 🩷

roses by @madame-wilsonn 🩷

sunrises and hot chocolate by @madame-wilsonn 🩷🩹

blurb by @springsteens

#mad reblogs #fic recs #mad recs

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system-to-the-madness · 23 days

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Cherry Blossom Walks 🌸 Nakahara Chūya x Reader

Pairing: Nakahara Chūya x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 2 360 Warnings: mentions of death + illness + poverty Summary: Chūya takes you on a date but things don’t quite go as he expected

Sakura Festival Masterlist - Masterlist

All of a sudden, Chūya wasn’t so sure anymore, whether it had been a good idea to bring you to this park. Two years, that’s how long he had waited for the perfect time to ask you out, you a member of the armed detective agency. Two years in which he had scraped together his courage again and again to talk to you, only to always be interrupted by this idiot of a bean stalk called Dazai. But finally had done it, asked you to accompany him on a nice walk in the park to watch the cherry blossom together.

Chūya had been fairly certain he had made himself clear enough so that you would understand he had a romantic interest in you, but still he had been uncertain about how you would interpret the situation. Just to be sure, he had brough you a small bouquet of flowers when you had met up in front of the closest train station.

Now you were holding the flowers in your arm, a mix of whites, pastel pinks and light greens; a perfectly romantic, not too heavy, lighthearted spring bouquet. Your other arm was linked with his, rather formally he noticed, and not at all as close as he would have liked, making him question everything he had said and done in the past twenty minutes since you had met up.

You had seemed to be so happy about the flowers, had taken his arm so casually when he had offered it to you, had laughed so unashamedly at his dry sarcasm. But ever since you had first stepped through the gates of the park, you had stiffened up. Did you not like the park? He was sure he had told you where he intended to take you for your date. Had something happened here, and coming back made dark memories resurface? Did you not like the flowerbeds, filled to the brim with all the colours of the spring? Were you allergic to the cherry blossom that was in full bloom over your heads?

Just as you had reached a point, from where the water of the bay below reflected the already low sun beams in orange and golden sparks, and glittered through the pink petals of the Sakura trees, you suddenly stopped walking. Chūya, who had been about to suggest sitting down on a bench, got startled out of his thoughts. Confused at your sudden halt, he finally fully turned his head to take in your expression, which he had avoided doing in the past minutes, only glancing at you from the corner of his eyes until then. Shock raced through his body when he saw tears swimming in your eyes.

“What’s wrong,” he asked so quickly that he stumbled over his own words, not even caring about the way his voice hitched. Quickly he pulled away from you, placing his hands at your shoulders instead and chasing your gaze as you closed your eyes and turned your face away from him. “What’s wrong, talk to me, please.”

“Can we sit down for a moment,” you asked instead of answering him.

Your voice was quiet, but Chūya quickly nodded his head, gently but firmly guiding you to the closest bench. Warm afternoon sunlight flickered through the branches of the trees above you, making your skin glow beautifully. A tear ran down your cheek, catching the sunlight and glittering like a diamond.

Chūya’s heart broke at the sight of that tear; he was sure the crack had to be loud enough for you to hear.

What had happened?

Why where you crying?

Had he done something wrong? You had wanted to sit down, maybe your shoes were hurting your feet? No, he thought after a quick glance down, you were wearing sneakers. Unlikely that they would hurt your feet enough for you to cry. Maybe you had a stomach-ache, or cramps. Or a headache. Or all of that at once? Or had he had done something wrong? Said something wrong? Had you expected him to-

Before his thoughts could spiral further out of control, you suddenly spoke up.

“Do you even know how beautiful this park is?”

The question caught him off guard. He had expected a lot, had hoped you would address the cause of your distress, but you wanted to talk about the park? Alright, he would indulge you.

“I mean, it’s a beautiful park,” he shrugged, his eyes wandering over the plants and small pathways before you. “I like the colours and the way the sunlight reflects in the harbour.”

“I never could have imagined something so beautiful to exist in the world.”

Chūya blinked. Was that why you were crying? Because you thought this place was beautiful?

“How long have we known each other, Chūya? Two years?”

“Two years, three months and about one week,” he mumbled, although he wasn’t sure you had actually meant it as a question.

“Did you keep track?” The amusement in your voice lessened some of his anxiety.

“Of course not.”

Of course he had. Two years, three months and one week since he had first met you, since he had watched you burst into a semi-serious fight with Dazai and continue to scold Dazai for just running off and apologizing to Chūya for any inconveniences Dazai might have caused. At that point you obviously hadn’t known about Dazai’s and Chūya’s intertwined past, but Chūya had immediately known that no matter what anyone else thought, you had to be the closest thing to an angel that existed in this twisted and cruel world, and he would do everything to make sure you were taken care of and looked after.

How many times had he sent out someone to make sure you were kept away from the most dangerous fights? How many times had he threatened a very amused and smug Dazai to protect you and make sure you got home safe? More times than he could remember. But it had paid off: you were here with him now. Only that you were crying, and he still wasn’t quite sure why.

“So two years, three months and one week,” you repeated. “How much do you know about my past?”

Chūya blinked again, turning back to you. Your eyes were open now, looking past the stems of the trees and staring into the sparkles of sunlight on the water of the bay in the distance.

“What does the past matter,” he asked. “The present is all that counts.”

“But the present is built on the past,” you disagreed.

Chūya bit his lip. The reason for your sudden change in emotions lay in your past?

“I know that you joined the ADA when you were seventeen,” he slowly spoke. “Edogawa-san was the one to recruit you.”

“And before that?”

Chūya felt like he was being quizzed in a classroom in front of the entire class. And hadn’t studied.

“I know you were living on the street for a while, but-”

“I grew up in the slum of Suribachi City.”

Your sudden interruption made him shut up. The slum? He hadn’t known that, and honestly, he had trouble imagining you down there, with the scum of society.

“You know Suribachi City, don’t you?”

Chūya nodded. He had spent enough time there, between the corrugated iron huts and carton shelters.

“The slum is the deepest part of the City. Down there, the smog is so thick, you can barely see the next corner of the street. Rats and other pest live between humans like their pets, and the sheds stand so close that sunlight barely reaches down there.”

Chūya had only been to the slum of Suribachi City once. Back then it had been only out of curiosity, but that had quickly been satisfied when the stench in the air had made it hard to breath. The hems of his trousers had been stained with mud and other unidentifiable liquids, which he never got to wash out properly and he had ended up throwing that pair of trousers away. Back then, he had only seen a couple of criminals lingering in the shadows between barracks, but the thought that children might be living down there had never crossed his mind.

“My parents ended up down there – I don’t know how – and had me. I was born on the coldest day of the year and my mother always said that’s the reason why I ended up surviving the rest of the winter. We barely had anything when I was little. We were living so far down that even the concept of sunlight was reduced to a faint shimmer within the fog.” You closed your eyes and tilted your chin up, letting warm sunbeams brush over your cheeks. “Most days we didn’t have any food. I can count the days, in which I went to bed with a full stomach on one hand. My parents… they were the best parents anyone could wish for. They both worked hard, and still made sure to spend time with me. There was never a moment where I needed them, or wanted their attention, in which they weren’t there for me.”

Your voice had grown rough over the past sentences, and Chūya reached out a hand, wrapping his fingers around yours. They were so cool that he could feel it even through his gloves.

“The first time I saw the sun without the smog of the slum… I must have been six or seven years old. The first time I saw a flower, I was twelve, the first time I saw a tree… fifteen. That was after my parents had died.”

“How did they die,” Chūya asked, realizing too late that his blunt question might upset you. In his head he was already plotting to bring justice to whoever had taken their lives.

“It was the autumn of that bad flu outbreak,” you answered. “All three of us had it. First dad, then mum and then me. We all got sick within a week, and two weeks later they were dead. I could barely move, but I made it out into the street, trying to find help. That’s how Ranpo-san found me. He brought me to Yokohama to a hospital, got me a job at the café, got me a private tutor to teach me how to read and write, and eventually convinced Fukuzawa-san to employ me at the Agency.”

“I didn’t know…” Chūya gently tightened his gloved fingers around yours, relieved when you returned the soft squeeze.

“Other than Ranpo and Fukuzawa, hardly anybody knows,” you shrugged. “Dazai probably figured most of it out, but only the broad timeframe. The others… they don’t pry. And I like it better that way.”

“Then I have to thank you double for trusting me with your story,” Chūya said, slowly lifting your hand to his lips and pressing a small kiss to your knuckles.

When he looked up and found you were watching him, his breath hitched in his throat and quickly he lowered your hands again.

“I’m just sorry for making things awkward,” you sighed, holding a little tighter to Chūya’s hand, when you felt him trying to let go. His fingers immediately wrapped back around yours. “It’s just… I spent so long living without proper sunlight, no knowing what trees looked like, how songbirds sound or how roses smell, that sometimes… it’s all a little overwhelming.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Chūya shook his head. “There’s nothing to apologize for. And you didn’t make things awkward. I was just worried I had done something to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” you reassured him. “Quite the opposite really.” You took a deep breath. “I know you waited for a long time to go out with me, and now all I’m doing is crying because everything’s so beautiful here. That must be quite disappointing.”

Chūya chuckled. “Don’t worry your pretty head about that. You’re beautiful even when you cry.” Admittedly, he had seen you ugly-cry before during a shared mission, and even when your eyes had been swollen from crying, he had never felt anything other than affection for you, and the urge to sooth those sobs that had left your split lip. Now your lips were smooth and so soft looking. The thought that he wanted to know what they tasted like crossed his mind. He quickly shooed it away. Not the right time. “But if you want to cry some more, I have tissues.”

“You’re an awful man,” you gasped in mock offence, before scooting closer to his side and resting your head against his shoulder. It was warm and heavy against him, and he carefully turned his head to press a kiss against your hair.

“Do you want to stay here,” he asked after a while. You had started playing with his fingers, your cool fingertips exploring the leather of his gloves absentmindedly as you looked out into the park opening before you.

“As nice as it is,” you sighed, “we should get up. We’ve been occupying this bench for long enough.”

You were attempting to pull away, but Chūya held tighter onto you. “If you don’t want to get up, we don’t have to. There are enough empty benches all around. If people want to sit, they can do it on another bench.”

“Even though we have the best view?”

“Well, if they want this view, they’ll just have to wait,” Chūya decided, hiding his smile against your hair as you relaxed back against him. You had not seen proper parks for the first fifteen years of your life, you deserved to enjoy the most beautiful views for as long as you wanted, and he would make sure you got all the time you needed.

As pink cherry blossom petles drifted through the air, catching the sunlight which made them seem to glow from within, and your breath evened out as you slowly fell asleep against Chūya’s shoulder, your hand still in his, the flowers he had brought you on the bench next to you, Chūya was sure, it had been the perfectly right decision to bring you to the park for your first date.

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system-to-the-madness · 23 days

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I suppose the ultimate question is whether I keep the fic I just wrote for a character who doesn't have any fics published for him yet and probably never will, or whether I throw it out here, make myself the only person on Tumblr who has ever published for him only so it doesn't get any interaction at all and feels abandoned and unloved like the character feels...

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system-to-the-madness · 25 days

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Cherry Blossom Rests 🌸 Inumaki Toge x Reader

Pairing: Inumaki Toge x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 223 Warnings: mentions of wounds, blood Summary: After a mission, Toge and you rest under a tree

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“Toge, can you move your arm away? My neck hurts.”

“Okaka.”

“Asshole.”

With a groan you sat up enough to be able to grab Toge’s arm and move it away from where your head had been resting on it. Any other day you would have appreciated him offering his arm up as your headrest, but not today. You were sore all over from the mission you had just returned from. Your body was littered with small cuts, dust stuck to your skin and your sweat drenched clothes, and every muscle in your body felt like it had been robbed of any and all strength.

The mission itself had not really been dangerous, only exhausting. So much even, that you had fallen asleep in the train back home, and as soon as you had made it up the sheer infinite number of steps to the school, Toge and you had collapsed under the closest tree, not even bothering to make it back to your rooms. Here, on the school grounds you were safe from the prying eyes of public, so you had not made the effort to go further, and instead decided to rest here for a moment. Or a few moments. You had been laying underneath the blooming cherry tree for almost an hour now.

Toge protested loudly as you flopped back down, spread out like a starfish, but without the support of his arm this time. You knew he considered it his sacred duty as your boyfriend to always make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

“Toge, my neck hurts, stop it,” you protested as he tried to wriggle his hand back under your neck. “I just want to lay like that for a moment, okay? We can cuddle later.”

At your side, he whined, but pulled his hand away. You sighed quietly, focusing on the way your spine seemed to stretch out on the ground. It felt like a weigh was being removed. Experimentally you turned your head, trying to stretch out the tension in your neck, when suddenly something warm and heavy flopped down on your chest.

If you weren’t so familiar with this exact sensation, you might have been startled, but you knew what had happened, and so you just groaned a little from the way your chest got compressed by the suddenly added weight. Toge had thrown himself on top of you, arms around your waist, head resting on your chest, his bright hair tickling your chin.

“A warning next time,” you grumbled, but brought your hand up to his head anyway, running it though his strands. They were sweat and dirt coated. It had been over an hour since the fight had ended, but his body was still warm underneath his by now chilly clothes.

“Saamon Tsuna,” You should have seen it coming.

“You’re such a spoiled brat,” you sighed, craning your neck to press a kiss to the crown of his head.

Toge turned his head, resting his chin on your sternum and glanced up to you, indigo eyes scanning over your face as if he was uncertain whether you meant it. Of course, you didn’t, and he knew that, but sometimes you couldn’t shake the feeling that he still doubted your feelings for him. Was it really so hard to believe that you loved him? That idiot. But he was your idiot, and if you had to, you’d reassure him of your love for him until he got sick of it… which was a bold statement considering he always insisted he could never get enough of you.

“Okaka”, he pouted. I’m not a spoiled brat. “Takana-zuke.” You are.

“Oi,” you complained. “What did I do?”

Toge just kept pouting, giving you a moment to take in his appearance. You had been too exhausted to give him a proper once over, earlier only having made sure he was not injured too badly. Like yours, his skin was littered in cuts, his uniform dirty and still wet from sweat. At the corner of his mouth, he had missed a droplet of blood, that had by now dried and turned a dark shade of brown against his pale skin. He had used his technique too much, again. Over the past months he had gotten quite good at estimating how long he could use it, and how the impact of different commands shortened that time. But there were still moments where he went over his limits, and you hated it, hated seeing him hurt.

Reaching up, you ran your thumb over the corner of his mouth, trying to brush the dried blood away, but instead Toge turned his head to kiss your thumb.

“Hold still,” you demanded, “you have some blood there.”

Toge just rolled his eyes and pouted, but let you clean the small stain away, before looking at you expectantly.

“Tsuna Mayo,” he requested.

You furrowed your brows. “What do you want me to do?”

He rolled his eyes again, signaling you that he had expected you to understand him, before he pushed up on his hands and shifted himself so he could kiss you on the lips.

Something about Toge’s kisses always took your breath away. Sure, there were the heated kisses you shared in the privacy of your rooms, but even the smaller, almost innocent ones always made you swoon. His lips were soft and warm, his breath fanning over your cheeks in a familiar way as he pulled back after a moment to look down on you underneath him.

“Okome,” he whispered, making you smile. I love you.

“Okome,” you repeated to him, and satisfied you watched as a smile of his own spread over his face.

“Sujiko,” he smirked, lowering himself down again, so he could rest his head on your chest again.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” you complained. “You can’t make fun of me for saying I love you when you were the one who started it!”

“Shake.” Yes, I can.

“You’re awful,” you whined, your hand immediately finding its way back into his hair. “Why am I putting up with you again?”

“Takana-zuke okome.” You love me.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” You picked a cherry blossom petal out of his hair, the colour of the petal almost identical to that of his strands.

“Okome.” And I love you. Toge’s voice had gotten quieter, heavy, and you knew he was about to fall asleep.

“I know,” you whispered, carding your fingers through his soft hair. “And I’m so happy you do.”

Toge only hummed in affirmation, his eyes fluttering shut as he kept his ear pressed to your chest, listening to your breath and heartbeat. Warm sunbeams fell through the branches and blinded you, making you close your eyes too. Rationally you knew you should get up, go back to your room, shower, get patched up and write the mission report. But you really didn’t want to disturb your sleeping boyfriend. Besides, when would you get the next chance to cuddle with him on a spring afternoon under the blooming cherry trees? You sighed, relaxing against the ground. Nobody would mind if you took a little longer with that report. And if they did… their offence, no matter how big, could not compete with the feeling of peace that flooded your body from feeling Toge sleep with his arms wrapped around you.

@delzinrowe

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system-to-the-madness · 27 days

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Cherry Blossom Naps 🌸 Tomioka Giyū x Reader

Pairing: Tomioka Giyū x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 626 Summary: after a a night of fighting demons, you and Tomioka find shelter

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Freezing cold rain dripped into your face, feeling like a thousand needles pricking your skin and blurring your vision. Your clothes were drenched, not just from the cold spring rain, but also sweat from the battle you had fought in the night. Now, through thick covers of rain heavy clouds, the sky began brightening, announcing the sunrise to not be long away.

"Over here!"

Your companion's voice carried over the drumming rain, and lifting your gaze, you found Tomioka heading straight to what looked like an abandoned shed. Well, less a shed than a roof held up by four wooden beams, but considering it was only raining and not storming, it should be enough for now. A sigh of relief brushed past your lips at the prospect of shelter, and quickly you hurried after the fellow demon slayer.

By the time you stepped underneath the roof, he had already thrown off his haori and crouched down beside an old fireplace in the middle of the area.

"The wood's dry," he mumbled, his voice filled with silent surprise. Indeed, the shelter seemed in surprisingly good shape. The roof wasn’t leaking and a stack of wood close to the fireplace seemed old but completely untouched by the weather.

Walking past the fireplace, you glanced out from underneath the roof at the other side. Before you opened a small garden, a stretch of grass, sprinkled with blooming cherry trees. Their blossoms seemed to glow in the twilight of the approaching morning, the rain glittering on their leaves like stars.

"What's wrong?" Tomioka had noticed you freezing at the edge of the small room, and alarmed, he quickly came up behind you, his hand already on the handle of his katana.

"It's beautiful," you breathed, momentarily even forgetting how cold you were.

Tomioka only hummed in agreement before turning back around, slightly annoyed to have been disturbed by such an unimportant thing as trees.

"Let's get a fire going," he mumbled instead, leaving you standing. You watched the rain tear at the petals another few moments before you pulled away from the sight and helped Tomioka with the fire.

It didn’t take you long to get the fire to a good size, not so big as that it would eat up unnecessarily big amounts of wood, but still big enough to warm you up and dry your haoris, which you had hung up on long sticks by the fire.

You had sat down a while ago, a safe distance away from Tomioka, your eyes fixed on the cherry trees in the rain, while you let your mind wander. It had not been the first time that you had been sent out on a mission with him, but somehow it felt as if your relationship was shifting with each time you met. It would have been a lie to claim you were not curious about the quiet Demon Slayer… although curious might be a strange word to use. Interested in him? Maybe… attracted even?

You shook your head slightly, watching as the pouring rain turned into a slight drizzle. It was foolish to think about him this way. Not only because he was a demon slayer and he faced death in the form of sharp demon teeth and long claws each night. Tomioka was one of the most skilled demon slayers you knew. You didn’t doubt he would survive for a long time. It was more because, well, because he was Tomioka. You had never met anyone else who was as quiet and grumpy as him. Holding conversations with him was hard since he hardly talked more than one or two sentences in one go. But the few times when he had, your conversations had stretched several hours, making you admire the young man even more than before. While his quietness caused other demon slayers to make fun of him and even mock him, you had been lucky to have gotten more insight into his character by now, understanding that inside he was angry and sad at and about the world. You wished you could help him, make him feel better somehow, but unless he let you in, which he hardly ever did, there was only so much you could do. And if he didn’t want to let you in, how was there ever to be a relationship other than that of work colleagues between you?

A tickling at the side of your face alarmed you to the fact that someone – Tomioka – was staring at you. Resisting the urge to turn to him, you kept your eyes focused on the trees. The clouds were still not finished with the downpour, although they had reduced it to a fine spray of morning rain, and a soft breeze had picked up, breaking them apart so the first beams of light could flicker through. It bounced off the rain drops on the pink petals of the cherry blossoms, looking like a thousand crystals glimmering in the light. You smiled at the sight, continuing to ignore Tomioka’s insistent staring. If each night fighting gruesome demons could end in a peaceful scenery like the one before you now… you certainly wouldn’t complain.

The fire flickered a little, and at your side Tomioka moved to grab his haori before he added more wood to the fire, making it lick up higher into the air as you continued watching the garden. The spray of rain continued, but the ground seemed to warm up, as soft white fog began lifting off the grass blades. It wasn’t hard to imagine a wood god, or a tree spirit to walk through the thin fog now, their paws glimmering with raindrops but still leaving no traces in the grass.

You startled as suddenly something touched your shoulder. Irritated you looked up to find Tomioka had grabbed your sleeve softly between his thumb and index finger. When your eyes met his ocean blue ones, he gently tucked at the fabric, making you furrow your brows. It was careful motion, as he tucked again, no force put into it, rather an invitation. Following it, you scooted a little closer to him, and closer again, when he kept tucking, until you were sitting side by side with him, close enough for your legs to touch.

Wordlessly he wrapped his haori first over your shoulders, then over his, the fabric barely big enough for both of you to fit. It had already dried next to the fire and only when you had sat for a few minutes, uncertain what to make of that sudden display of intimacy, you realized how cold you had gotten from the rain, and how nice the haori warmed you. But what was even warmer than the Haori, was Tomioka by your side. He felt almost like a living furnace as he sat still, almost stiffly by your side. You wanted to look over to him, wanted to see his expression, but something stopped you. Instead, you looked out over the garden again, trying to commit the sight of the beautiful blooming trees to your memory.

You were not sure when it had happened, but you startled when you felt your head lull to the side. Had you dozed off? Taking a deep breath, you were trying to sit up straight again, when suddenly Tomioka reached his hand up, gently guiding your head to rest against his shoulder, where you almost would have rested it before waking up again.

“You need to rest,” he whispered, his voice sounding deep and soothing from where it rumbled in his chest. “Sleep a little.”

You let him pull your head against his shoulder, feeling the stubborn hair of his tickle your face, which refused to be bound back by his hairband. Reaching up you brushed it aside enough to not be disturbed by it anymore before closing your eyes again. You had always struggled falling asleep in the company of other slayers, but something about Tomioka made it almost too easy to doze off. Maybe because you trusted him. You had almost fallen asleep again when a sudden thought stirred you back awake.

“Tomioka?”

He hummed to signal you that he was listening.

“Why are you doing this?”

He was quiet for a moment, hesitating to answer as if he were scared to get reprimanded, but then he said: “Because I’m not good with words. And I don’t know how else to show I care about you.”

Not opening your eyes, you furrowed your brows. “Why would you care about me?”

“’cause I like you. I hope that’s okay.”

His words didn’t fully process in your sleepy mind. Or maybe they did, they just didn’t trigger the same excited reaction they would have triggered had you been fully awake.

“Hm,” you hummed in response, “I like you too.”

And before Giyū could sort his thoughts out to answer to that sudden confession, your breaths were evening out and you had fallen asleep.

Giyū carefully turned his head, stealing a glance at your face and tucked his haori in place over your shoulders before he carefully rested his cheek against your hair. So you liked him too, huh? It felt like this was the first good news in a long time. It also meant you’d have to talk about this in more detail as soon as both of you were awake enough to do so. Maybe he’d finally find a way to convey his feelings to you then, like he had wanted to do for so long already. Giyū suppressed a yawn, and smiled to himself, taking a last glance at the cherry blossoms in the garden before he too closed his eyes and fell asleep to the feeling of you safely resting on his shoulder.

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system-to-the-madness · 28 days

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Cherry Blossom Interventions 🌸 Fushiguro Megumi x Reader

Pairing: Fushiguro Megumi x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: hurt/comfort – angst to fluff Word Count: 3 271 Warnings: SPOILER for up to chapter 253, suicidal tendencies and implications (Megumi), mentions of death and depression Summary: Megumi has drawn back from everyday life completely, so you intervene A/N: Sorry for the late post; life happened. Played volleyball with friends, went to eat sushi, went running with the same friends, went to Maces, and then to a foot Onsen.

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"Why am I here?"

You stopped in your tracks and turned around to Megumi. He was standing underneath a cherry blossom tree when a cool breeze of spring air swept through his hair, carrying pink petals that caught in his black strands. His hair was shorter than it had been in autumn; not by much but the difference was still noticeable. You wondered whether he had cut it to not resemble the version of himself Sukuna had turned him into.

“You know why you are here,” you answered him, ignoring the frown on his brow. “This is an intervention.”

“What kind of intervention,” he asked back, clearly starting to get upset.

“What kind of intervention do you think it is?”

“Whatever it is, I’m not interested.” Megumi was already turning away from you again when you called out for him.

“We are worried,” you told him, almost shouting.

He just scoffed.

“Who is we?”

“Yūji, me, Toge, Maki, Yūta” you replied. “Panda, too, and Ieiri-sensei. Ever since December, ever since that last fight. Do you think we don’t know what's been going on with you? Do you think we don't know you've been skipping therapy and meals. We know you're just holed up in your room the whole day. We know you don't want to be here; you don't want to be with us anymore-”

“Then why can't you let me be?”

His shout made you flinch, but you had faced scarier things than an upset classmate.

“Because we care,” you shouted back. “We care too much to let you ruin your life like this! Don't misunderstand: We are not making light of the situation you were in - you are in. We understand that none of us could ever possibly imagine the things you have gone through, but you cannot ask us to let our friend die, who we fought so hard to save. You can't ask that of us!”

Megumi just rolled his eyes. “And what about what I want? What about the things I want,” he asked.

“For once, you don't get to say in this,” you shook your head. “It's not much we demand of you. We want you to eat properly. We know you haven't. We want you to step outside at least once a week, doesn't have to be long, just sit in the sun for a few minutes. That's all we ask. Or open your window, it's been barricaded since you moved back in in January. And go to your therapy sessions. We know you have them scheduled and we know you've been skipping them. You can't expect to get better if you don't go to these sessions.”

“And what if I don't want to get better?”

“That's not an option. I told you: For once you don't get to say in this.”

Megumi stared at you from between the falling cherry blossom petals that were carried down to the ground by the wind. You could see in his eyes that right now, in this moment in time, he thought he hated you. You just had to hope he didn't actually feel that way. If he did, you did you definitely would have been the wrong choice to have this conversation with him.

It had been quite a debate between the second years, Yūji, and you about who should talk to Megumi. You even considered asking Ieiri-sensei about being the one to talk to him, but in the end, everyone agreed it would be best if it were you. They were convinced you were the one he trusted the most, the one he liked the best. At least those were the others’ arguments. You weren't sure how true they held, now that he stared at you as if he wished you were to drop dead to the floor.

“All right,” Megumi sighed. “I'll oblige to your demands under one condition: Give me one good reason why I should continue fighting. But keep in mind: my mother is dead. My father is dead, killed by the man who raised me, the man who – although he is not my father – is the closest thing I've ever had to one, the man who I had to watch being killed by my own hands. My sister is dead, also killed by me. What do I live for? Give me one good reason.”

You stared back at Megumi watching the hatred in his eyes. It was obvious he didn't believe you had any idea what he was going through.

Truthfully, you didn't. Your situation was nothing like his, and you never had been in a situation like this before nor would you ever be, but that didn't mean you didn't know all the facts he just listed. His father, his mother, his sister, and Gojō-sensei, all the people he ever might have considered family, were gone, along with so many others. And in a large part he blamed himself for it.

It was not his fault, how could it have been his fault, when it had been Sukuna, who had possessed his body. But you supposed having to watch your own body commit such terrors, having to watch as your hands took life after life, unable to interfere, unable to save his friends and family, unable to do anything but watch them all being slaughtered… it wasn’t surprising he blamed himself.

“Gojō’s in a coma, one he might never wake back up from, and it's nobody's fault but mine. Do you really believe I can live in a world like that?”

You wanted to disagree with him, tell him that it was not his fault, that he was not the one to blame, that as long as you all stuck together, there was still hope, but you knew better than to do so. Instead, you started with what he had demanded of you.

“You want me to give you a reason to keep on living,” you asked. “Gojō-sensei is not dead. As you said he's in a coma. Ieiri-sensei has been working on him every day. As far as we know he might wake up any day now.”

Megumi shook his head. “You really believe that,” he asked, “if you’re really believing that, you are more naïve than I believed you to be.” He sounded disappointed.

“Not naïve,” you disagreed. “Hopeful.”

“Same thing.”

“But let's assume for one moment Gojō were to wake back up,” you continued the train of thought before Megumi could derail it again. “Wouldn’t you want to be there? Wouldn’t you want to see him again, talk to him again?”

“You’re dealing in probabilities; probabilities are not good enough. Give me something tangible.”

You blinked. You had really thought he would give in at Gojō. So, what were you to say now?

“A stary sky then,” you offered. “To go star gazing the way we did last summer. On a blanket, out in front of the school, sharing snacks and drinks.”

Megumi scuffed.

“Another sunrise,” you continued. “Pinks and reds and oranges dying the clouds, a new day with new possibilities-”

“New suffering? Not good enough.”

“A puppy’s fur under your fingertips, these sharp, tiny teeth burying in your skin.”

“And what for?” Before you could answer, he kept going. “All my life I’ve tried to form relationships, be close to people I care about, and all my life they left me. One after the other. So what good is another stary sky, another sunrise, a puppy’s fur underneath my fingertips, if I don’t have anyone to share it with? It’s not good enough.”

A part of your mind was still hung up on the thought that it was probably better for Megumi to blame the dead for being dead than himself, but you quickly answered.

“You have us,” you told him, taking a careful step forward. “Maki, Toge, Panda, Yūta.”

His ocean blue eyes glimmered as he fully turned towards you as if he was waiting for something specific.

“You have Yūji.”

His shoulders sacked, and he looked away.

“Not good enough. They’re all gonna leave eventually.”

“I won’t,” you disagreed. “I’m not gonna leave. I made you a promise when we entered Shibuya together, that I’d always be there, and I don’t plan on breaking that promise.”

Megumi shook his head, biting his lips, still not looking at you.

“You’ll be there,” he asked, sounding disbelieving. “For every stary sky, every sunset. Every meal, walk, therapy session.”

“Yes.” Your reply was unwavering.

“You don’t even know what that means,” Megumi sighed, finally looking back up to you, but now he seemed rather sad than angry. As if the scenarios he had painted were what he wanted but were too far out of reach to even attempt to grasp them. “I’m sick. My mind- I’m broken. Something inside my head is broken and I don’t know if it will ever heal again, and if it does, if it heals right. A promise like you’re offering… it wouldn’t just be for the next days or weeks. It might be months, years, hell, it might be decades of me trying to shut my self away, of nightmares, therapy, being unable to laugh or feel anything other than this pitch-black darkness. You can’t promise me you’ll be strong enough to be there. I don’t doubt that you have the strength to see me through all this, I know you do. But there will be times when it will seem as if I’d be okay, and you’ll be hopeful, but when I have a bad phase again- It would hurt you, and I can’t hurt any more of my friends.”

“And you think the way you’re behaving right now is hurting nobody? Megumi, I won’t promise that I’ll always be there. I can’t. I’m still a sorcerer, I still have to go to missions, and am in danger every time I go. But I will be there for you for as long as I can and for as long and often as you want me to be.”

“For every stary sky?”

“And every sunrise.”

“Every meal?”

“If that’s what you want, yes. And for every walk, and if you want me to, I’ll even wait outside the therapist’s office for you.”

Megumi averted his gaze, staring at a spot right in front of your feet.

“Why? Why would you do that? What do you get in return?”

Carefully you took a step forward. “Because I care about you Megumi. And even though it might seem selfless, getting to be there for you, supporting you, trying to help you to get back to your feet, getting to watch you fight to get better, being with you through all this, is actually a very selfish act.”

Megumi looked back up, his eyes scanning your face for a moment.

“Can you hug me,” he asked, voice quiet over the wind in the branches above you.

“Of course,” you smiled and slowly crossed the last distance between you, wrapping your arms around him. He seemed to melt into the touch, almost fragile, his body moving closer to yours until his whole front was flatly pressed against yours, his face buried against the side of your neck, his hair tickling your cheek and ear. You held him tight, not too tight, so he still could breathe without effort, but tight enough for him to feel how serious you were with everything you had offered.

“I’m just scared of ending up alone again,” he whispered. “And I can’t lose you too. You’re too important to me.”

“You won’t lose me,” you whispered back, rubbing his back through the thick fabric of his oversized hoodie.

“What if you die?”

“I won’t. And if I do, I’ll come back as a curse, like Rika.”

The sound of a small chuckle surprised you, but you quickly held Megumi tighter, hoping to engrave the sound into your memory forever.

Before you could say anything else, Megumi’s phone started ringing. You stiffened up, ready to pull away, but Megumi kept you close.

“Aren’t you going to answer,” you asked, hesitantly wrapping your arms back around him.

“No,” he replied.

“What if it’s important?”

“How important can it be,” Megumi shrugged. “Not more important than this, anyway.”

After a while the ringing stopped, and Megumi slowly loosened his hold on you. Carefully pulling away, you came face to face with him.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely.

“What for?”

“Everything. I… I tend to lose sight of the good things in life and let the darkness swallow me whole.”

Taking a step back, you reached out your hand for him to take. Questioningly he raised his eyebrows at you but placed his hand in yours.

“Now you won’t get lost in the darkness,” you told him with a smirk, making him roll his eyes.

“That’s too cheesy for me,” he shook his head.

“Oh, don’t start laughing now, Fushiguro,” you cried. “I saw that! The corner of your mouth was twitching!”

“It wasn’t! That’s annoyance at how cheesy you were being!”

He only kept his expression in check for another second before he burst out laughing. Using your intertwined hands, he pulled you back into a hug, this one more casual than the first. When his phone started ringing again, both of you ignored it.

After you had calmed down from the laughter, Megumi’s eyes fixed themselves on your face, watching you as were catching your breath.

“Can I kiss you,” he suddenly asked, making you freeze in your motion.

Surprised you looked at him, your heart seeming to miss a few beats, but then you nodded your head, and a moment later his lips were on yours, soft, a little chapped, but gentle. It was a sweet kiss, nothing too extravagant, and still enough to steal your breath and make you weak in your knees.

It was perfect, you suddenly realized, kissing Megumi like his. Around you, cherry blossom petals were floating on a warm spring breeze, birds were singing in the branches above you, and Megumi’s arms were warm and secure around you while his heart beat a firm rhythm underneath your fingers, somewhat too fast for a normal heartbeat, but then again yours was probably racing too.

The perfect moment got interrupted by yet another ring of Megumi’s phone.

“I think you should answer it,” you mumbled against his lips. “It’s probably really something important.”

Megumi sighed but pulled away enough to grab his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s just Yūji,” he rolled his eyes, but before he could answer the call, the ringing stopped again.

He shrugged, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

“I got a question,” he suddenly declared.

“Ask away.”

“You said: another stary sky, another sunrise, and…” he hesitated for a moment before continuing. “a puppy’s fur underneath my fingertips. Where do you plan to get me a puppy from?” He sounded amused, but you knew him good enough to know that he would do hell of a lot to play with a puppy sometime soon.

“Okay, here’s the thing.”

“Oh dear.”

“Yūji and I were thinking, for a while now.”

“That can’t be a good sign,” Megumi sighed. “What crazy idea did you two come up with now?”

“I’m gonna ignore that low-key insult, and let you live” you announced, “But do you know Principal Yaga’s friend, the one who had all these dogs?”

Megumi nodded, clearly hesitant about whether or not he really wanted to know what Yūji and you had come up with.

“So, one of the dogs had puppies a few weeks back and we were thinking that it might be good to adopt one of them, for our year. We’ve been talking to the teachers and thinking things through and if all of us take turns caring for it, it won’t be too much responsibility all at once. And it would give us some sort of stability, having to go on walks on regular hours, playing, teaching it commands… but there’d also someone to keep us company when we don’t feel so good, someone who can’t give us advice, but also won’t ask questions either. Someone who accepts us as we are, no matter how good we are in school or whatever. So… yeah, the puppy is already old enough to be separated from its mother and is moving in next Friday.”

Megumi stared at you.

“You adopted a puppy,” he asked incredulously.

“We adopted a puppy,” you corrected. “Yeah.”

“And we‘ll share responsibility for it?”

You nodded, and Megumi’s eyes suddenly grew hard.

“I don’t know that dog yet, but I’ll fight you for custody after graduation,” he declared, making your eyes widen.

Graduation. That was still three years away, the furthest Megumi had talked about the future since November.

Swallowing your surprise, you shrugged. “That’s okay with me.”

“But wait,” Megumi suddenly stopped. “Before the puppy arrives, we need all kinds of stuff. It won’t be like with Shiro and Kuro, it’ll need a basket, and bowls and a leash! I think we’ll need several baskets, so we don’t have to carry them around all the time. And food! We need special-”

He was interrupted by the ringing of a mobile phone, this time yours.

“Yūji,” you told him, showing him the screen on which a picture of your pink haired classmate had popped up.

“Let’s answer it,” Megumi sighed. “He’ll just keep calling otherwise.”

You had barely pressed the green button to answer the call, when Yūji’s voice was already sounding from the small speaker, loud enough that you didn’t even have to put your ear to it.

“Megumi isn’t answering his phone,” Yūji all but screamed. “I’ve tried calling him dozens of times but he’s not answering! I’m really worried! We need to-”

“Yūji, Yūji, calm down!” Quickly you interrupted your panicking friend, pressing the speaker button so Megumi could listen in. “He’s with me, he’s fine, we were talking a walk.”

On the other side silence spread out.

“And you didn’t call dozens of times, you called three times,” Megumi added, leaning down to the speaker.

On the other end, a small “oh” was audible.

“So, what’s so important that you decided to terrorize Megumi via phone calls,” you asked, shooting Megumi a glance.

His eyebrows were furrowed, and it was not hard to tell that he had only now realized just how worried his friends were about him, how much they cared about him. Enough to send ever cheerful Yūji into something akin to a panic attack just because he hadn’t answered his phone for a few minutes.

“I didn’t terrorize him,” Yūji protested.

“You kinda did, but whatever. What’s going on?”

“You guys need to come to the hospital wing asap,” Yūji told you.

Megumi and you exchanged glances. The hospital wing? That wasn’t good. Megumi took your hand in his and started walking back the way you had come.

“We’re on our way,” you told Yūji, “What’s going on? Who got hurt?”

“Nobody,” Yūji sounded like he was running himself now, slightly out of breath. “Gojō-sensei’s awake.”

And with that he ended the call.

Megumi and you were both so surprised about the message, that you came to a slithering halt. Gojō was awake? Sure, you had told Megumi it was a possibility, that he might wake up soon, but you had not believed it to actually, really happen at all.

For a short moment Megumi and you looked at each other,f inding your own surprise and relief mirrored on his face. And then you took off running, taking the quickest way to the hospital wing, your hands intertwined.

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system-to-the-madness · 30 days

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Well, considering this is my story, I can promise you not even this beast!Dazai would do that 💕

Cherry Blossom Break-Ups 🌸 Dazai Osamu x Reader

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x fem!Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: hurt/comfort Word Count: 1 457 Warnings: mentions of alcohol, talk of breaking up, mentions of wounds and blood (symbolically) Summary: Dazai only met with you to break up with you, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

Sakura Festival Masterlist - Masterlist

The air was tense. Not just from the impending thunderstorm that was brewing over your heads as you were sitting with your backs against the stem of a blooming cherry tree, shoulders almost touching, but also from the words you knew Dazai was holding back on. You had known today would come, and when he had asked you to meet out here, under that lone cherry tree with the view over the bay, you knew that this was it.

Really, maybe it was best this way.

Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself. Dazai had somehow seemed to have grown sadder in the past months, and you knew the time in which your presence brought him the comfort to keep the memories of the past at bay way over. Maybe he had grown used to you, the same way people started to grow used to the effect of alcohol, but with you there was no increase in the dosage.

This triggered the unwelcome thought that maybe he had only ever been with you because you made him feel better. Maybe your relationship had never been more than a bandage to wrap the wounds of his past. And now that the bandage was blood-soaked, it had gotten useless, and he was about to discard it. If your relationship really had never been more than that, then it would be better to end it.

But you didn't want him to end it!

You knew you should respect yourself more than that, but you knew it would break your heart. It had been foolish at best, stupid at worst, to allow him to pull you into this whirlwind of an affair. An affair that all too soon had turned serious enough to be a relationship, and him introducing you has his lover had only sealed that deal. And your stupid, little heart had fallen for those soft brown curls, those dark eyes that held both such joy and such pain. You should have held tighter onto your heart, but it had taken off, settling straight into Dazai's palm where it now patiently waited to be crushed.

At your side he suddenly groaned and stretched his arms over his head, his coat sleeves falling down to his elbows revealing his bandage-wrapped forearms. You had never seen him without those bandages. Part of you wondered if you should have asked him to take them off at some point, just to give him the feeling you wanted to reach deep into his heart. But you never had, out of respect for his boundaries.

"Just do it alread," you whispered, unable to take the silence any longer.

"I can't," Dazai replied, placing his hands down in his lap. "I really thought I could but… I can't." He kept his eyes trained on the horizon, blue, storm riddled waves meeting dark grey clouds. "I don't want to."

"You've drawn completely away from me, Osamu. You don't even hold me anymore at night and when you kiss me, it feels like you only do it as a chore, not because you want to. You brought us here to break up with me, so just do it."

Lightning cracked through the sky, followed by the deep rumbling of thunder. He still didn't meet your eyes.

"'s not a chore," he disagreed, but his voice barely carried over the wind. "you're right, I came here to break up with you but- I don't want to lose you. I… any relationship I've ever been in has been for no other purpose but my entertainment. I'm not prideful enough to deny that. But then I met you and I thought it would be just like that again. Another girl to share my meals with, to keep me warm at night. Yet it wasn't. And it scared me. Still does. And I thought I'd want to end it. But the more I think about it, the less I want to."

His voice carried over the wind picking up, tucking cherry petals from the trees and through the air like snow flakes. Another lightning flickered across the sky.

"I need you to understand the difference here. I can imagine what it would be like without you. It's not like I'm solemnly dependant on you, and I know you aren't on me. But I don't want to imagine it. I don't want to live without you anymore. But it's taken me to bring you out here to break up with you, to really understand that."

You turned you head away, unable to look at his averted eyes any longer. His words were brutally honest, cut small wounds into your heart, but you had a feeling they were the kinds of wounds you needed to heal. From the corner of your eyes you saw Dazai turn to you, but you refused to look at him.

"If you want to end things here, I understand. I'll even do you the favour of being the one to end things if that's what you need me to do. And I will do it, even though I don't want to."

You slightly shook your head. "I don't want you to, but Osamu-" turning to him, you momentarily forgot what you had wanted to say when you saw the emotions flickering in his eyes. Love, hope, sadness, despair, determination.

"Osamu," you repeated. "I don't want this to end, I love you and I know that we're still young, so much can still change, but for now I want to be with you. But we can't go on like we have in the past months! I can't constantly doubt your affections for me, whether my touch doesn't actually disgust you, whether I can hold a man like you. Every morning for the past few months I've woken up, thinking I had to be perfect, perfect clothes, perfect make up, perfect hair, perfect work just to earn my stay at your side-"

"My love," Dazai shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me you felt like this? It's true, I wasn't sure what I felt, but now I know. Now I know for sure. And I made my decision. I want to fight for you, for us. I want to be with you. Your touch," he took your hand in his. Your skin was cool from the spring storm stripping away the warmth from your hands, but his were warm and familiar. Lifting your hand up to his face, he nuzzled his cheek into your palm. "Your touch could never disgust me. It has never brought anything but comfort and an unrivalled feeling of safety. And it confused me because I've never known anything like that before. But I love you just like I love your touch and I'm no longer afraid to show or tell so. And I'm no longer afraid to feel so. I love you the way you are. The way you wake up in the morning, no make-up, no fancy clothes. I don't want a mask you put on; I want your authentic self. I want the weird ideas you sometimes get. I want the pranks you pull on me and Kunikida. I want your fears and your worries and all the emotions you consider bad and think you shouldn't feel. I want all of that just as I want your love, your joy, your laugh, your happiness. I want all of you… and that's quite selfish."

Slowly he dropped your hand back into your lap, but as he was about to let go, you grabbed hold of his hand.

"Then be selfish," you asked. "And I'll be selfish too. Because I want all of that from you too. I don't want things to end here. Just promise me, we'll get better at being with each other."

The wind caught Dazai's hair, ripping at it mercilessly as he stared at you with wide, brown eyes as if he was unable to believe you were willing to give the two of you another chance. Finally he nodded, the smile on his lips, faint, barely there, but you knew him well enough to know how relieved he was.

"We will get better," he nodded, placing his hand at your face, and pulling you in for a kiss. Soft, sweet, lingering. A kiss like you hadn't shared in weeks.

"Promise me, Osamu," you whispered against his lips. "Promise me we'll make this work."

Pink blossoms danced through the air as another lightning lit up the sky and the first drops of rain started to fall.

"I promise," Dazai replied, pulling away from your lips only long enough to phrase his answer before he leant back in, sealing his promise with a kiss.

And he never broke his promise.

#mad reblogs #mad answers

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system-to-the-madness · 30 days

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Nooo 😭 he would never 😭