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sscottstewart · 4 years

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“J” = Julia “P”= Peter “A” = Anonymous Evil “E” = Evil

Abbreviations and naming conventions are in the Index page.

140509 1903

“A”: you have lost your power Scott (just after they said that I was the cause of a bynch of good ghosts / beings being abducted and made to live in a situation like Zimbabwe

THE last 2 nights I have bought drugs and wanked, but “E” controls the feelings I get. They stop me getting hard, evaporate my mindsets, totally evaporate thoughts and feelings about sex, and as well as stopping me from coming by dissipation of the notion of sex in my mind, they physically obstruct me from (getting hard and) coming.

As per usual, soon as I stop (give up) wanking, they say they are toturing and killing people. They explicitly say it is my fault.

They keep providing commentary of their assaults and mistreatment of good kind people. I offered to do anything at all, whatever evil wanted, if they would please stop hurting people. I offered to walk to Thornleigh 4 times, to sit on the lounge without moving my legs more that once per half hour, to sit on the lounge between 9am and 5.30pm each day, to clean any shelves… anything, anything at all, but please stop hurting people.

Again I hear the voices of people in great distress, agony and pain, telling me that because I have taken drugs, they are being killed and destroyed, because evil uses my taking drugs as an excuse to kill innocent kind people.

Why do I keep failing. Why the fuck can’t I learn this lesson.

Today’s notes should convey my misery, pain, heartache and wishing for death, because I keep causing innocent good people to be hurt and destroyed. I fucking hate myself, and I just wish I could die and dissapear, never to be again. I hate myself, and I hate life.

150509 J & P have been torturing good ghosts again, but after some time an image of a 12 y.o girl became apparent and then they started torturing her as well.

8 August 2013 6.05pm ? : “You’re not that smart are you?” ?m : “what a load of (old) RUBBISH” BEING CHANTED REPEATEDLY IN THE BACKGROUD j: i’M GOING NOW. They thought yo8u had the 5th element in you. (m): “that’s it julia. That’s it julia. ?m : “what a load of (old) RUBBISH” BEING CHANTED REPEATEDLY IN THE BACKGROUD (brad) “: scott; can you win? s:I thought I won in february 1992 ?m : “what a load of (old) RUBBISH” BEING CHANTED REPEATEDLY IN THE BACKGROUD 6.14: now all talk has been muted, and I can only hear the faintest parts of words, way in the background. They continue to use names of homosapiens I know, though earlier they said there were (dead) bodies to be observed. (pear very quiet): what do you think scott stewart? note. Where a name is used to denote the speaker, what this really means is that earlier, a particular ‘voice’ sound was designated (by someone, often other than the voice sound themselves) as being the voice sound of a human. From that point forward, there is the assumption that that voice sound continues to belong to that name. J: they do it… (would not finish) J: why don’t I feel the same way as you do? S: because you don’t have a clue how I feel. YOu are always sampling my sensorial input information rather than the congnitive (et al) processing that transforms it into feelings. This implies to me that you don’t have your own feelings (because you are always steeling mine), so it would be impossible for you to feel anything unless yuou stop taking mine. J: why won’t you heel? Now there’s a fucking question that not many people get to hear. Is that an insult? Damn fucking borgsiouswa squid yeilder (new serius voice print)x: YOu know what scott, something very serious is about to happen in the world of exciting S: really. Are you going to kill me? x:YOu know what scott, that’s exactly what I thought. You have absolutely no idea(3×0 whether I thought I had some bikies with me or not….this will be the last chance i get. I am dead now…I am a female…. x2: i must say julia that scott steweart does not know what is going on x3: julia; why are you doing this.

I can’t write any more notes because they are changing what they say because I am making notes and they can see what I type 2110 hours

13 April 2014, 0951 J: (telling me that I have to go to bed, threatening me) “I’m going to kill them” J(using a male voice): “I just killed Pam, I just killed Pam (alledgeing becauase I won’t go to be as she demands) MP (MichaelParis): doesn’t matter does it J? J: do you know what you are doing (implying criticism of my tired attempt at getting work done) J: I don’t consider it work J: when are you going for a run?

It is now 14 April 2014 at 0436i AM BEING TOLD ABOUT my brother having sex (“gang banging it is called” [[MP}) with Tristan Coleman. The reason I am being told I assume is that I financed it by having my drugs taken off me and being railroaded into spending all my money again over the past three days. Of course, no-one will admit that they have been working on me to force me to spend all my money in three and one half days, I am pursuaded that it ios my own fault.

I can not write fast enough. They are so pressing aND URGENT IN WANTING TO TELL ME ABOUT TtRISTAN AND gLENN “Glenn just came all over Tristan COlemans nose” [J]. As i try to write, they make noises and start to say things because they are urgent in having to tell me what is taking place, I suspect that it is going to be because of me and that is why I must be interrupted to hear the commentary and remarks, because it is due to me.

That won’t be too bad as long as everyone got paid what they agreed they would be paid, and everyone lives through it. J: glenn has come all over tRISTANS FACE (said again, and I don’t think that it is really J as they say.

Julie was laughing at Glenn because he forgot a letter that he was going to post or something. Maybe they are both taking too much of my drugs, AND are both going a bit Ben COusins, whom several weeks ago was maniulating my diaphragm (solar plexis) preventing me from exercising. Shurley not!

0504 I am reading about events and delegates and they ahve started attenuating my cognitive abilities, what I referred to when I was on the train as ‘dislocation of my memory and comprehension’. When I just pointed out that I could sense them doing it, they immediately came back and started telling me that this was the path for the future ‘unless’ (or something), but then they paused because they ‘saw’ me starting to ‘say’ ‘that you are threatening me and also ssaying it is my fault for not capitulating to your demands’, and once they ‘saw’ that coming they stopped for some reason.

Now [MP] is telling me through inuendo and implied things that he is now having sex with Barbera Kendall, and seems to be my fault, or thanks to me, he/they never really say what they mean, but apprently it is because I heard them being tortured through bad taste musi.. ?: “there she goes” [MP]: “There I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, There I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go” ?: what’s he doing (scott?)” [MP]:”there i go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go, there I go…[he won;t stop – I think his ‘back is up’ so he’s gong to say ‘there I go’ many many times.

a few minutes later and they are urgently telling me that Barbera Kendall has ‘thrown up’…’all over Mr stewart, Mr Stewart, Mr Stewart (I think they are going to repeat that for a while.

?(fm): “Thisis why Al Brims is fucked up” s: (- oh yeh really) “perhaps he’s fucked up because you fucked with his feelings” [now It is implied I think that that was his female voice (fm) above. To that I say that self assessment is at the very best a tool for the express use of 3rd parties and igf it was credible, beliveabl;e and worthwhile Freud would not have freely associate so much and put himself up for simple ridicule by anyone not medicated and institutionalised

?: “what do you think is going on with Barbera?” s: (to Barbera) “are you in distress or danger” bk: “no I’m not” well why is this other person who will not say who they are repeatedly saying “what do you think is going on with Barbera?”

?: “what is barbera kendall doing to my new car?” I do not know why they chickened out of completing the statement / question that they were just about to ask ?: “this is really terrible “(scott, it your fault) ?: J is… ?: now they are implying without saying anything that something else terrible is happening and its my fault again. ?: “she is dead” S: “shit that is serious, what did she die of?” ?: “a broken heart” I am now trying to ask them for advice about how to dispose of a dead body (seeing as they just killed BK), and they are being precious and won;t say and are prewtending that they don’t kill 1 person every 4 hours. s: “you said you just murdered her” ?: “I did not break her heart or murder her, you broke her heart” ?: “what do you think is going on now scott?” S: “what the fuck do you think is going on. Can you hear what I say, can you hear what the fuck I say. What the fuck do you think is going on if you are asking me what is going on and you won’t establish who you are and you know I can’t see which is why you are (sarcastically and fectitiously) asking me what the fuck is going on”

S: on hearing the whiska’s cat commercial song “do I know the girl in the cat ad?” (they started talking about it 2 days ago – freely

After me claiming that I reckon that it is Tristan Col;eman who would have got well paid to appear in the “whiskas” TVC, my assailants will not say anything about the accuracy of that answer other than “its not her”. This is not surprising because it only resembles Tristan in two very minute ways, and neither of them are apparenttly identifyable, except to the confusion of someone who does not merit any answer or reasonable response.

?: “how can you say ‘I bet nothing happens’ when it’s your fault… it’s your fault”

0806 ?: “she heard” I was just trying to explain that every individual and especially every asset or gain in my life is nothing but a potential liability and opportunity for them to take advantage of at my cost. Having alrwady explained that I am busy beating them at beating me up.

I was just talking about murdering S, N’s ex, and this was greeted by a retort about something or or other, ending in “it was your fault”. Other than that, no denial, no comment, no jokes, no speeches, and no hoarse voice from getting awards for mistreating people the best.

23:47 23 september 2012

Julia spends her days telling me to commit suicide, but when I tell her the same thing, she feels insulted. AT the moment, I am being told that she is doing terrible things, but she won’t tell me what she is doing. So does she really want me to believe her, given that many of her words have unfamiliar definitions.

SO now I am told that I am doing the right thing — for a fuckwit. Obviously, there can be no problem in jotting down a couple of facts for later recollection. After all, I am not going to hear anything inmcrimentating or that otherwise anyone can not be happy to have noted down, since we all live by our remarks and utterances

SO here are a few excerts that I am supposed to understand: 23:58 – this is so cruel (ss: what?) – no reply 23:59 we want you to committ suicide 00:05 – I did a cpouple of visualisations and put some razor wire in her asshole, and was told that it did not make any difference (I would note: other than her reacting to the visualisations) 00:06 P : are you going to take take drugs tonight? (Me: “no”) (note: recently she says she needs drugs to be able to see to find people) 00:10 some anonymous people are telling me that she is doing some cruel and appauling things. No one will say what. My response is – “How are we (should I) going to stop her. I reckon, give her what she gives others, and treat her like an intelligent adult”. 12:20 Julia: I just killed michelle young’s baby. SS: what for? J: I just want to be cruel (someone else: J is very very stoned 12:25 (spomeone else) – why don’t you kill yourself scott? Me: why don’t you kill me like you are killing babies (which is whjat J is doing at the moment. (else or J) she can only kill babies

00:50 – me: hey Julia, are you still planning on having babies? J: no me; why not? J: because I can’t get anyone to fertilise me! me: why do you think that is J? (asked twice – no response)

12 March 2014 2100

?: “did you do something wrong” s: “no” ?: “you did do something wrong referring to the fact that after 10 days abstinence I fucked up and purchased $50. I actually ended up taking home $150 but I did not touch the $100 and am returning it when I go to pay, hoping that using less will cause less of a problem.

SOmeone has been implying that ‘good’ ghosts did tonight, and just then someone implied that the hostile voices I hear are good ghosts who have been turned evil by J. There was also an implication that I don’t hear vital information and so my decisions have terrible consequence3s that I am unaware of. Someone is also saying that I am going to be failed from uni, so I have to decide by the end of tomorrow whether to opt out.

In all this familiar abuse and shit trreatment, no one ever considers my position. I am having terrible problems and trouble. I never get to come if I masturbate, and no one ever realises that I suffer gre4at loss and cost when I fail to maintain my abstinence. I have repeatedly asked during the week if there were any ghosts around other than J, and I am told there are not. But occasionally I am shown the image of a ghost on their hands and knees laughing, and J pretends to be other people (ghosts) when I ask after people. I can tell it is J because she always starts the sentance (phrase) with my name. I specifically asked if there was anyone left, and I was never answered, though on a couple of occasions J prete4nded to be other people.

I also specifically asked (in a childish attempted humor way) if I was going to encounter any particular treatment as a result of an acty of will in the event of my giving up for at least the mandatory period of 6 months, and I was specifically told on a number of occasions that I would only experience the predictable amount of improvement and desireable outcomes that would normally stem from sustained abstinence.

I am upset now because it has been repeatedly implied tonight that not only were there consequences for other people, but I have missed out on some (extra-ordinary) benefit because I relapsed and failed to maintain my abstinence.

When I fail to maintain my abstinence, perhaps it is because of the shit I have had to deal with for more than two decades. (Though the last couple of years have been quite OK, other than being very tortured on each of the past six occasions I have relapsed.

FUrthermore, while everyone is blaming me for the alleged assult, torture and death of others, no one else tried to assist these ‘others’ in any way, or tried to tell me what is going on. They simply hack into me with abuse and aggravated blame for my behaviourt impacting other people.

Unable to capture the contempt that I am treated with, I shall record some quotes. No one is identifying themselves lately, so I will just use the usual “?”

?: you know whats happenening scott (how the fuck would I – and they know it before asking)…, you are being groomed (pedophile language) for a big problem (as is I haven’t been tortured or bankrupted in the past for ecample). (talking slwoly so I can record it) YOu are going to realise (how) that. … Does anyone like me? S: you said everyone is dead or evil, soi there is no one who could if they had the opportunity ?: Scott… (long pause). You know what Scott, I think that you are going to realise something. You are the sole person (they must not be people talking!) who realises seomthing. YOu are going to realise that J (heresay) is about to do something to you.What do you think that miight be. S: drop me out of uni. ?: drop you out of uni hey… I don’t think so

A couple of weeks ago, I was having converstions with Prof. Steven Hawking. These turned out to be lies and deceipt.

?: you know what scott stewart (surname used – contempt), I am going to tell you something (they know they are anonymous)… YOu are being groomed (pedo talk about the victim) for a catastrophy (like bankruptcy, the murder of god, turning Michelle evil, repeated torture recently tyo the exctent I had the vacuume hose leasured to gas myself). I am going to tell you something else…you are being groomed for a spe ial problem with your homework (condescending. But I will avoid it if I am told what the problem is going to be). I am going to drop you out of university (like 1994, 1995 + suicide attempt when Ward and Charles et al were vomiting in the bath they were going to put me in and so on…).

?: you know what scott (I obviously can’t) I am going to drop you out of university because you took drugs (unrelated events. The drugs are the excuse for the action, not the cause of the problem).

?: you know what scott – you know what is going ofn woith ghosts don;t you s: no ?: did you do the wrong thing? s: no. ([thoughts] What I did let myslef down. It was a terrible failure, and an extrme disappointment, but I will learn from it and improve. I let myself down terribly, but I will recover. Tima has also been having a problem lately. I said I did not want to get her involved, for exactly that reason. Buyt I [urged] told to line her up, and I did what I was told. No one is blaming Tima for anything).

?: scott, do you think you will get away with what you are doing (name at start of sentance. The problem is my burden – I am not trying to cheat anyone or deceivge or ‘get away’ with anything. It was a terrible thing, but at least I did not use what I had).

?: i’m sorry scott, but I am going to punish you no end (don’t know who is talking, They won;t admit to it or say who they are).

?: SORRY SCOTT

(I wonder if they have been causing Tima problems?)

?: I’m sorry scott, but it is set in stone. You are going to be dropped out of uni.

Now while I am trying to study, I am being shown a pair of eyes, crying. This I always find extremely (very very) upsetting.

?: I am not surprised you find them upsetting (no one else does though). Because they are the eyes of your final resting place. (What is that supposed to mean?). That means, your final ghosts are talking to you (who is letting their communications get throug?). They are saying ‘please help us’ (how do / can I accomplish that?). ‘Please help us’, ‘please help us’ ?: you know what scott – I am beginning to realise that you are not understanding what you are beiong told (I have not been told anything. The only communication to me other than this anonymous voice is the crying eyes, and I don;t know how to help!).

?: I believe you do know how to help. (How I wonder!).

I get so upset I cry. And I could cry right now. Nothing ever works out for me. I live without love, without much undestanding, and with total liability for my actions. Fuck it, if people knoew what happens to me, and what I hear, I would get some sympathy I think. I wish I could have one dance with a girl I like.

?: that’s riught. You are always being picked on. do you know why you are always being picked on? (facetious – how could I know?). You are always being picked on because you are a loser Scotty Stewart

?: (J: – I caould tell it was her) Scott – I’m afraid I have some very bad news. YOu are going to fail your statistics test, because I am going to fail you.

?: I’m afraid scott that you are going to be disappointed in what happens in your future (as if I could know different paths that the future might have taken. I examined this thoroughly when I analysed the existence of luck).]

NOTE THAT EVERYTHING I HAVE HEARD AND TRANSCRIBED HAS HAD THE SENTENCE START OFF WITH A COMTEMPUOUS ASSERTION OF WHY I AM GOING TO SUFFER AND LOSE AT GREAT COST. No encouraging words or suggestions of how to mitigate these catastrophies).

Julia Davis – The name of my hallucinations "J" = Julia "P"= Peter "A" = Anonymous Evil "E" = Evil Abbreviations and naming conventions are in the…

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