She/her. Basically fangirl spam. Love music, books, BatB, Grell Sutcliff, Malec, Loki, Sylki and Tom Hiddleston. Right now I'm into Thai BL series and my obsession is MewGulf.
I had lost everything, and so I partied my heart out, getting drunk several nights a week, dancing with and kissing strangers each time. My world had been flipped upside down and ripped out from under my feet. My heart was broken–my future seemed hopeless, and I was done.
I pounded my fists into the wall, begging God Himself to just end it, because I didn’t have the strength to. I wrote my final letters, thought of reckless ways I could end it making it seem accidental. I had it all planned out.
Until one night a stranger said to me, “I want you to be alive.”. It wrecked me, and my plans. I kept going. Hopeless, but feeling numb enough to just get through the days. Slowly, the open wound inside of me healed. The brokenness and anger and pain became lighter as I began to choose to let them go.
Today, I am engaged to the love of my life, I work as a registered nurse on a level one trauma unit where I plan to work my way up to become a nurse manager. I marry my best friend in six months, I have amazing friends, and I’ve experienced so much of the beauty that this world has to offer. I also have two cats who are the sweetest angel souls and kept me sane for many of my painful nights of healing.
Life. Gets. Better. It is worth it to keep breathing, one night at a time. YOU are worth it. Give yourself a chance. I am so fortunate to have kept living. I would have missed this beautiful life that I now live.