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Duras

#being supposedly very close friends with a man #And then them becoming so explicitly like a man #And not just like a man #but the kind of men you have been trying to run from your entire life #is heartbreaking

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Where does the boundary go, between independence and selfishness?

I fear I have already crossed it.

#writing #writers #poetry

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“Sometimes the happiest ending isn’t the one you keep longing for, but something you absolutely cannot see from where you are.”

— Shauna Niequist

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a girl of fear, a woman of anger— look how we've grown

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“If outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.”

— Unknown

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WE FOUND OUT THAT MOTHER FUCKER IS STILL HUNG UP ON ME AND REGRETS DUMPING ME EVERY DAY WE’RE SLAYING FR FR

#spero

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More bad poetry (that is hopefully slightly less bad)

The scenarios I make up 

as my head hits the pillow at night 

have changed. 

I no longer dream of you buying me sunflowers, 

Of holding my hand as we ice skate, 

Of tucking locks of hair behind my ear 

As you kiss my forehead 

And tell me you love me 

I have stopped wishing you would ask me 

Anything about myself 

How could you go so long 

Not knowing my biggest achievements in life?

Especially when I dropped loaves of breadcrumbs along the way

Instead,

I picture your would-have-been sour mood,

Like the curdled milk left in my fridge 

When I would have told you I got into Oxford.

Things would have been different, 

Because you are a patriot,

And I am a girl with a dream of flying far away 

Or if you did support me going

And if somehow you found yourself next to me

On a plane with the beautiful green tail

I would find myself smushed in the middle seat 

Because you prefer the window. 

I dream at night 

Of all the chances you had to hold the door open for me 

You walked in so confidently. 

I don’t mind holding the door,

But I shouldn’t have to beg for the favour to be returned

 

You talked of marriage 

Far too soon

But I didn’t trust that you wouldn’t buy me a yellow gold ring

Or that you would want to learn 

Since I was a girl in pigtails 

I wanted nothing more than a sapphire to grace my finger

 

I think at night 

Of the list of baby names 

I have tucked away in my notes app

How I have always wanted a daughter 

To name her after the weeping tree. 

But you didn’t like I wanted to wait a decade 

Before ruining my body,

Subjecting her to abject torture 

Because you were older 

At night, though, 

The wonderful memories creep in too. 

How you held my hand proudly.

I was not your trophy, 

Nor your secret, 

But a human.

 

I think of how you called me beautiful,

Of how you fulfilled dreams I never thought

I would be worthy of. 

Of how you held me close at night,

And touched me hair. 

Of how you made diary entries of the teenage girl

Who wanted nothing more than to disappear

Come true.

I think of the bad things too.

They keep me from crawling back,

Begging on my knees for you to take me back. 

I think of how 

You said I love you

Before you asked me to be your girlfriend 

Or how you didn’t talk to me on dates 

With the sea of distance roaring between us. 

I think of the lack of sunflowers, 

$4.99 at Trader Joes.

Or how you didn’t ask me about my dreams,

To write a book, 

Like your mom, 

Or become a clinical ethicist, 

Like your grandfather.

I think how I know so much about you,

And you knew nothing of me. 

I’ve stopped dreaming 

That you would ask me about myself,

And think about the love you said you had. 

You loved a girl you did not know. 

It keeps me at bay, 

To dream of that. 

It does not hurt any less, 

To dream of that. 

#bad poetry once again #But hopefully slightly less bad #Yes it is still dramatic ramblings about this dumb boy #Mostly because one of his friends says that he thinks about me every day #And still talks about me #And misses me #And I miss him too #But also dont #So yeah #spero

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— Trista Mateer ,“I Still Forget We’re Not Even Friends”

#literature #dark academia #poetry #quotes #poem #light academia #romance #romantic academia #love quotes

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danez smith

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Suddenly,

All the ramblings in the locker room,

All the emo poetry written in glitter pen,

All the empty gallons of ice cream,

and Taylor Swift songs,

and tear stained pillow cases,

Made sense for you,

In the absence of you,

My dear

#poetry #BAD poetry #Im going thru it lol #writing #spero

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“There was something about him that made me want to abandon all caution.”

— Wendy Higgins, Sweet Evil

#spero #I miss him

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sorry for seeing the divine in the monstrous. not my fault.

#Ambrose pare lookin ass #monsters and prodigies lookin ass

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As Above So Below band by Arcana Obscura Designs

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what really got to me about the barbie movie is how the movie is really about how there is still a little girl inside all of us, and when you walk around the movie theater and see all these grown women dressed in pink and visibly excited, it's a reminder of that. but moreso, it's how your mother is a little girl too. and that all comes together in the end when barbie meets her creator. barbie was made so ruth's daughter could be anything she wanted to be, and she named her after her. in the end when ruth helps barbie become human, she is her mother. and when in the end barbie introduces herself as barbara, she is her daugher again. you can be anything, but being human and mortal and imperfect is the greatest gift of all.

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writing one sentence is still one more sentence than you had yesterday

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25 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 25 YEARS IN TV WRITING

Well, it’s actually been 30 years now, but here’s a spew I did 5 years ago on the bird app to commemorate my 25 years as a TV writer. 

I’ve edited it a bit for clarity. Hopefully some of you will find it useful.

1. In TV writing (and writing in general) there is only one unbreakable rule: Thou shalt not be boring.

2. Write characters people want to hang out with for an hour or so once a week for years to come. Even if they’re bad people, make them interesting, engaging bad people.

3. If your lead is a bad person, make them funny and/or sexy. Direct most of their bad behavior toward other bad people or themselves. Make them well motivated. Maintain rooting interest.

4. What makes a character special should be intertwined with what makes them struggle. Perfect people are boring.

5. Characters should complement/conflict with each other. No two characters should serve the same purpose/have the same backstory/have the same voice.

6. Cast the best actor, adjust the character to suit.

7. Give your leads the best lines/moments. No one is tuning in to watch the funny guest star. Like Garry Marshall said back on HAPPY DAYS, “I’m paying Henry Winkler $25,000 an episode. Give the Fonz the jokes.”

8. Your characters, good & bad, should reflect the reality of our wonderful, diverse world. White male shouldn’t be the default.

9. Avoid stereotypes. Stereotypes are boring.

10. If all your POV characters know some secret, the audience should know it too.

11. If your show hinges on a big mystery, know more or less what the truth is from the beginning. You can change it later if you need to, but write to a specific.

12. If your story doesn’t test your characters mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally, or spiritually, you don’t have a story.

13. You can start by figuring out the Beginning, the Middle, or the End, but you don’t have an episode until you have all three.

14. Big suspenseful act outs (the last moments before the commercials) aren’t just a gimmick. They’re a good way to structure an hour of entertainment to make sure the audience is invested and your pacing is solid.

15. Every scene should be a consequence of the previous scene or a refutation of it.

16. A scene also needs a Beginning, Middle, and End. The end should propel the characters and/or audience into the next scene.

17. Every scene is a negotiation/confrontation between two or more characters who want different things or have different ideas on how to solve the same problem.

18. A good action scene is still a character scene. With punching. (This applies to sex scenes too, but you know, with sex.)

19. A crap page is better than a blank one.

20. It’s easier to cut than to add.

21. Good things rarely happen in the Writers Room after dinner. Go home, get some rest, write pages at home if you have to, start fresh in the morning.  Writers who have a life outside the writing room are better writers. Beware the showrunner who doesn’t want to go home to their family. That said…

22. Script by day one of Pre-Production. No matter what.

23. You’re a writer first. Almost nothing happening on set or in post is more important than the writing. Delegate when possible.

24. Make an extra effort to surround yourself with writers who are different from you (background, race, gender, orientation, etc). Listen to their perspectives, especially on experiences alien to you.

25. And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. In TV writing and life in general. 

#writing #writing inspo #writing tips