smuthospital

[smuthospital]

Introspective life psyche diary no. 1

Just putting this here cuz i have no where to out it. NOT FAN FIC. I'm sorry. Miners dni still. Very sad shit. I will delete it later or move it somewhere else.

I remember being so lonely in my last relationship that I'd text myself here like this.

Me: Hello

Dalal: Hey, what's up!? What are you up to?

Me: My uncle passed away this morning

Dalal: Oh my god. I'm so sorry. What happened? Are you ok!?

It felt really sad, but I was desperate for interaction. Still, I'm like that. I try to fill the space with Allah now. I know now that no one can do that for me. All I have are me, the little mean voice in my head and Allah. Even here in my diary, you can see notes 'written by' the voice directed towards me. It does not rest until sobs croak from the deepest pit of my soul. The little mean voice is cruel and unforgiving, making Redacted  a very familiar and almost comfortable figure. When he's nice, it's almost like the mean little voice sits down and relaxes. The little mean voice controls my feelings and my food intake. It rationalizes why I'm lonely and gives me impossible tasks to complete in order to change myself for the better.

I am cripplingly lonely. Sometimes, my ears would ring from the silence. The room could be loud, there could be plenty of people around me and suddenly, I'd slip away. I'd speak, but no one would hear me. I'd repeat myself and feel shame. My first time experiencing this was in kindergarten. I was sitting in a room full of children. Everyone was talking, laughing and playing and suddenly, my ears began to ring. I felt almost invisible. I felt like I could get up and no one would notice. No one was looking or talking to me, and no one had ever looked or talked to me. I realized then that I was on a separate plane. It's as if I was an actual ghost.

I often played by myself as no one wanted to associate with me. I would pick up rocks on the baseball field and drop them into my hair, spending recess picking them out and not knowing what was scalp and what was rock. I would sit on the edge of basketball courts with my legs outstretched, looking at nothing in particular. A ball went loose and a child older than me charged over to retrieve it, stomping on my knee in the process, tearing my young delicate skin in the process. I watched as blood rushed from the wound like a fountain. Strangely, I felt no pain. The child who stepped on me did not even look back at me. He must've not seen me because I'm a ghost.

I began to unconsciously envy the other children who went home. I wondered "What is it like?" I was never invited to other people's houses and I dreamed of adventure. I began to wander away from my home in the day and explore. I saw a child in one of the houses and let myself in. The family was shocked to find me there, but I had no idea it was wrong. It became a regular occurrence for me to enter certain homes. They didn't tell me to stop and gave me toys to play with.

I as an adult dissociate by closing my eyes and envisioning myself walking away into a black pit. Only I am illuminated. I can go wherever I want or I can stay there and be welcomed by the darkness where nothing changes without my say-so. I can imagine social interactions and dying in places so beautiful. I lay on the ground and stared into the sky. The sky stares back at me. The air tickles my nose and the leaves above shiver in the wind. A lovely spring day to cough up blood and feel my eyes dry as I lose the ability to blink. Lately, I find that I cannot use this form of escape as Redacted  is already there waiting for me, voiced by the little mean voice. 

To be a child and not understand why no one likes you but understand that no one likes you is a very tumultuous experience that can alter the psyche of a child and extend into adulthood. As an adult, I lack vital parts of my psychological needs because I haven't been accustomed to social interactions and don't fully understand other people. I don't understand their feelings, and how to react. How do inference what they are feeling without first relating it to myself, enacting empathy? I learned that this method should not be voiced as it shifts the situation's focus to yourself. If someone is crying, I would ask "Why are you crying", but not hug them. When do I hug them? Do I hug them? I don't understand timing and situational awareness or as others say 'reading the room'. This is not a natural thought process for me and is extremely difficult. Redacted  said it's out of my control and it's ok, but also says it's not ok that I'm stupid and still need to take accountability. I panic when he says this because he won't explain what I did wrong, making it extremely likely that I'll do it again, making the mean little voice judge everything I do and resulting in me behaving extremely ridged.

When I'm being shouted at, all I can think of in the forefront of my mind is "I'm scared. You're scaring me. Please stop scaring me" as the back of my mind frantically tries to cross reference and figure out behaviours and actions lead me there that I must kill, all while repeating nasty words to me. If I am too stressed about a situation I have no control over, I force control by changing the way I feel about it. If you were to hit me, I'd tell myself I deserve it and try to figure out what I did so it might not happen again. Then I can feel safe and not afraid. If you were to continuously steal my food and threaten to leave if I interjected, I would tell myself that I enjoy sharing with you and I'm not hungry. I would tell myself I need to lose weight anyway. Hunger disappears when your body isn't used to receiving food at scheduled times. I can get used to it.

When I was in high school, I felt like if I looked away, people's movements would halt and stiffen to that of dolls while their jaws hung slack, emitting sound from their mouths like a prerecorded radio. I had difficulty believing that the world went on when I wasn't looking. It made me think that I was in control of everything. It brought me solace. It baffled me when things out of my control would happen. I would spend hours trying to figure out what I did and even more hours trying to blame myself. I'd rather it was me who made it happen than a third-party entity to remain in control. I began to wash my hands a certain amount of time, only stepping on clothes and towels and doing things a very certain way to have some imaginary control. I didn't want to believe that I didn't exist. If I'm a ghost to others, how long before I was a ghost to myself? Was I real or were they real? It couldn't be both of us because they didn't treat me like it. I was always the odd one out, I was always the last to get the joke, if I ever got it all, and that was if I wasn't the joke.

I was a fool to think that someone could enter the plane I exist on. Even if they were to exactly mirror my experiences, I find that those with narcissistic characteristics can't understand others as well as they think they do. They have a very weak ego, resulting in them creating various versions of themselves. You can see peaks of them if you look closely into their eyes and ask certain questions. This can be a slippery slope as they are quick to anger when their mental stability is questioned. These people often need to think they are above others, almost tricking themselves because they believe they are not. They may also feel imposter syndrome and discredit their accomplishments in private but boast about them in public. 

A narcissist would sacrifice everything to maintain their pride. They mainly operate on their id and ego and rarely with their super-ego. Their superego would make them feel shame. Their id is their carnal desire to feel and their ego is the monster that allows its rain of terror as the superego remains silent. I have always attracted these people. I mainly operate on my superego. There isn't an action I perform without rethinking it. I can't afford to have others actively avoid me and be in my own company. Unfortunately, narcissists and people like me go hand in hand. Someone who likes to step on people and someone who will let them step. Keep in mind I don't enjoy this and would prefer death, but would do anything to remain in someone's company, living in the hope that they understand me.

I have never once finished a sentence in the presence of another person. Somewhere along the way, they fade away and I remember I'm talking to a wooden doll. I feel the same as talking to someone as I do writing it down. It all still exists in my head and nowhere else. I used to think "What's happening!? I'm speaking, but is the sound coming out!? Why is no one hearing me?" It's because I'm not saying anything of importance and nothing I say can be important. We weren't cut from the same cloth. No point in crying over spilt milk. I thought Redacted  was the same as me until slowly, I began to realize that he sees me, but he doesn't care. I'd never felt that. I cried tears of joy and tears of agony. I felt dejected. He didn't understand me, but he also didn't want to. Unfortunately, he is a narcissist. I still write this as if he will read it, careful to explain my words. He wouldn't read a word. I'm still trying to make myself believe there's someone in the world who will get me. I am a woman before I am a human to him. 

He told me to kind of speak better about myself but also told me time and time again that I'm not special. He told me I am a whore, but I'm not a whore. All women are whores to him because they require things from men, but what he described to me was the hierarchy of needs second and third from the top. Esteem needs and need for love and belonging. This applies to all humans. He receives his esteem from his will to believe he is the best and his want and belonging from multiple sources. I was a little envious of his ability to feel that way, but I knew I couldn't follow in his footsteps as that would make me a feminist and cloud my judgment, as it did him. I am a whore for wanting to feel love and belonging. Having it questioned and put in constant jeopardy, shared with others, made me into a jealous bitch, negatively affecting my esteem. I am trying to learn to hold no opinion of myself. When I dream, I'm a shiny translucent green and blue blob. Everyone in my dreams are nicer to me when I'm not Dalal. I don't know what I look like.

I always assumed being invisible meant I was excused from feeling negative emotions because there was no third party to inflict them, but that only made me angry with myself when it happened anyway. I am not immune to the desire to end my life. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was 13. It was Valentine's Day. I was going to hang myself in my sister's walk-in closet. This was the time I was counting objects to feel control. I was being teased heavily and my family would go out of their way to bother me about it. My mother decided she and I would go shopping for bed sheets for me that day. I'd never done that before. That began the happiest time of my life because I had an i pod touch, my first distraction. I then got a 3ds which completely cut out my need for social interaction temporarily. As with age, the need for company grows stronger and the lack thereof becomes readily apparent. I was unprepared to deal with the consequences of my social inexperience.

When I was hit by the car, I was not mad he had run away, I was angry he had at least reversed. I was mad at god, as wrong as it was. Why had he let me survive? Why do I now live with fear? I got over the fear using a simple trick after Redacted  told me to get over it. When my older sister told me to get over the fear of sleeping alone when I was a child, I told myself "If I die, I die" and thus accepted death as the inevitable and something to not fear, but also something I now look forward to. I can walk across the street with no problem because this time, the car will kill me.

Today, I practiced control by trying to keep it all in my head and in here. This is where I exist. You can't rely on the physical world as people come in and move things. They can't move things in here. Redacted looking in was very alarming. If he sees and reacts in a way I don't like such as acting as if it was nothing at all, what would happen to me? If it was nothing to others, would the writing exist? Would that mean the words have no weight? Would I feel like writing here? After he did last time, I didn't. I stopped thinking. I set myself on autopilot. My defence mechanisms are strong, but his will to destroy them and leave me bare and helpless is stronger. A turtle's shell can not be removed as it is physically attached to the flesh with nerves. It will writhe in pain if you do. When my sister asks me "You can't tell me?" I can't. My shell is the only thing standing between those who want to leave me bloody and vulnerable and my safety. It's me against the world, as it's always been.

#sad times

[smuthospital]

⭐️Degrees of lewdly: Eden⭐️

Premise: You're a spooky place youtube explorer, and you get lost in a big scary forest! Eden voorhees lol. Reader is fem. Enjoy!

Art by Minagami

Re-upload because tumblr took it down last time.

Content Warning: Non-con, kidnapping, tummy bulge, blood, Eden is Jason, Voorhees

Miners DNI

You've never really gone hiking before and it's proven itself to be a lot more difficult than you originally thought it would be. You like to explore places you've never been, spooky places. more for the thrill. you started filming it and posting your videos on youtube. You usually take some friends along, but all of your friends decided to be little babies this time since the place you're exploring is extra creepy this time. It's a large forest 20 miles away from your city. You borrowed your mom's car to get here. you always tell them you're at a friend's house because they'd kill you if they ever found out you're putting yourself in possibly harmful situations. This forest is known for creepy sightings, disappearances, ghosts, and lots of other things your viewers would love to watch. You've been to abandoned hospitals, cemeteries, tunnels, all that good stuff. You don't think you'll actually see anything, but you brought a can of pepper spray just in case.

The wind howls, making the trees dance above you. The shapes that were once branches in the day have turned into long gangly fingers that desperately reach for you and the bushes now house entities with red eyes and fangs that you imagine want to tear you to pieces! "Wow, guys. This might just be the scariest one yet, haha. There's probably some sort of scp in here with me haha!" You try to keep yourself company by talking to your soon-to-be viewers when you post this, but it's really just to keep you calm.

"I'm a bit lost. The trail kinda disappeared somewhere around here, I think. there's just so much long grass and it's more of a footpath than an actual trail." you complain as you try to spot any familiar landmarks. It's almost impossible. It might be easier in the day for sure, but the night masks everything. You step over decayed logs and large roots, feeling worry set in. What if you're really lost!? Your thoughts come to an abrupt stop when you hear a strange sound not too far from where you're standing. Your blood freezes as you feel a cold sweat coming on. Maybe...maybe it's a person? And maybe they can help you?..or..a monster!? No, (Y/n), this is no time to be silly! That could be a person willing to help you before you get yourself completely lost!

Little did you know you were already a mile deep, walking in the wrong direction.

“I heard a sound. It could be someone who could help me get back on track.” You whisper. You turn off your video camera's flash light and carefully make your way to where you heard the sound, being careful not to step on anything that could alert whatever it is of your presence. You don’t want to startle it, just in case it's an animal willing to protect its territory from invaders like yourself. The sound came from below you. There's a rocky slope leading down to a river. You get down on your knees and peer between the long grass. You can't make out much in the dim moonlight... until you spot a giant of a man dragging a sack through the shallow water. His size alone sends shivers down your spine. Even from where you're crouching, you could tell he would dwarf you the way a cat would to a mouse. You examine him a bit more.The sack is stained in a dark colour that is seeping through the fabric and into the water. You don't dare move a muscle or even breathe. You can't believe your eyes. This can't be real. Are you in a horror movie?

You make sure he disappears behind the tree line with the mysterious sack before letting out a breath. You didn't want to accidentally alert him of your presence in any shape or form. He was probably just a hunter. Yeah, he could have helped you, but he also could have added you to the wet sack and you were not risking that.

You stand up and turn around, ready to get as far away from here as possible, only to bump your nose into a tree. The collision causes you to drop your camera. That's strange. You don't remember walking around a tree to look over the cliff. You rub your nose in annoyance. Wait a minute... This tree didn't have rough bark like the rest of them...Your brain blanks out. You've been in denial this entire time, your brain working extra hard to rationalize what's happening. Before you is a large torso. You can't even see their shoulders from how close you're standing, just a wide, firm chest. You crane your neck up and it takes you a good three seconds before your brain registers that you're looking at the man from before..and he's wearing a mask!

He looks down at you with a focused gaze. You let out a short scream and try to run away, but being within arm's reach of the giant makes it too easy for him to simply reach out and grab the back of your top. He lifts you off your feet with one arm and brings you to his eye level. He cocks his head to the side, observing you slowly. He looks down at the camera you dropped and places his large boot on it, pressing down and crushing it. You start to hyperventilate. He's gonna chop you up and wear your skin, he's gonna keep you in a dark hole and shout "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" You thrash in his iron grip, pushing at his large hand and sobbing untellable pleas for mercy, but your begging falls on deaf ears. "I-I'm sorry. I-I'll leave, I promise! Please let me go! I-I didn't mean to bother you, I'm sorry!" You cry. Your little struggle seems to have made your shirt ride up a bit, showcasing your supple flesh to his thirsty eyes. His eyes laser focus on your bare skin.

To your confusion, his hand reaches to caress your skin, feeling the smooth texture before slowly moving up. You wiggle more, scared of where this is going. His hand soon finds your breast and cups it before giving it a squeeze. He shudders. His breathing becomes heavier as he continues to mess with your body, his thumb rolling over your nipple. All you can do is whimper and wiggle in his hold. his hand begins sliding down and you scream. You suddenly remember you brought a can of pepper spray, whipping it out of your back pocket and pointing it at his face. Then as you were about to press down and unleash the fire juice, it was gone. In his hand that was previously molesting you lies the remains of your poor pepper spray, crushed and bubbling pathetically. He was so fast you hadn't even realized he snatched it. You just stare at him in horror. To your surprise, he's not even mad, too preoccupied with the need to explore your privates. You hold his wrist and look into his eyes. He looks back into yours as if telling you to stop. You hesitantly let go, and he nods as if to tell you that you've made the right decision. His hand cups your pussy through your jeans, pressing in a bit at the entrance. He seems eager.

He lifts you higher and uncomfortably sets you on his shoulder, his hand on your ass to keep you in place. You don't even bother struggling. You'll wait for an opportunity. If this man wanted you dead, you'd be dead. You don't want to provoke him. From your spot on his shoulder, You notice that he's got a hunting rifle strapped to his back along with a machete. He has an assortment of things attached to his hips among them being a hunting knife and bullet pocket. You shiver. One more off-putting thing that's just about forcing bile up your throat is that he's also covered in a dark wet liquid. You haven't noticed till now, but you haven't been breathing so his smell has now come to your attention. He smells strongly of iron. To that, you're not very surprised.

He starts marching down the hill you were previously watching him from. You have no idea how you saw him disappear through the treeline and he still managed to sneak up on you. He picks up the large stained sack where he left it in favor of locating his little spying mouse. It smells awful, the meaty smell assaulting your senses every second. It's been 15 minutes and an opportunity to escape has not shown itself. This is it. This is how you die. Your body will never be found. Maybe in a few years in a shallow grave by some hiker if you're lucky. This inhuman mass of muscle is going to cut you up and eat you. Maybe even skip cutting you up. He could probably eat you whole as pre-workout. He lifts his leg to step over a large log, his grip on your ass slightly loosening just enough for you to catch him off guard and slip off his shoulder. You grunt as you fall into the dirt and leaves behind him. You scramble up before the giant can scoop you up. You run in a random direction. You just needed to get away from him, getting out of the forest was a problem for later. You didn't even think about how fast he'd be. How could someone be so big and fast!? He took off after you and suddenly, he was on your ass. You've never felt such a primal fear as he chased you like a hungry animal.

A large hand grabs your shoulder and rips you backwards. You fall on your back and stare up at the man now on his knees in front of you, his body completely casting a shadow before yours. He gets down on his hands, caging you too the ground, his body inches above yours. You stare into the holes of his mask and into his rabid eyes. He leans in by your neck. You stop breathing once again, you think your heart stopped. You feel something large and hard pressing roughly into your crotch. You hear him take a deep breath and smell you..."Smells nice." His voice is deep and rough, but it sounds like he rarely uses it. You scream and begin to cry again, not being able to take it anymore. You fight him with all your might. He grabs your wrists with one hand. You hear him chuckle a bit before his hand comes up to cup your check. He suddenly squeezes it and twists your face around to get a better look at your features. He grinds his hips against yours, teasing you of what's to come. He roughly releases your face, before standing to his full height and dragging you up with him. He tosses you back over his shoulder, this time with an almost bone-crushing grip. “Name.” His tone is commanding. When you fail to answer right away, his fingers press into the area on your crotch. Threatening to rip right through. “(Y/n)! My name is (Y/n)!” He hums in response.

Hot tears run down your cheeks as he walks back over to where he left his murder mystery sack. He navigates through the forest as he knows it like the back of his hand until he comes upon a clearing where his home stands. A lonely wooden cabin. He drops the gooey meat bag on the ground. You cringe at the wet sound it makes on impact. You peer over at the sack to see a human hand flop out. Before you could react, he slams his hand over your mouth painfully. "Shut up." He waits for you to nod before removing his hand. He opens his front door and steps inside. It smells musty, like old wood and man smell. Not bad, but not amazing either. He walks up his stairs and sets you on a very large bed. You take a deep breath in, your stomach sore from being jabbed by his shoulder for the entirety of the long walk.

He doesn't let you get comfortable though. His hands are on you in an instant, grabbing your clothes and ripping them to shreds like tissue paper, you're naked before you could even hold any of your clothes together. Hungry eyes leer over you through his mask. You feel his hot breath fan you through the bottom of his mask. "S-stop it, please! Don't hurt me!" You beg. As if to mock your plea, his rough hand grips your plush thigh a little too close to your cunt and squeezes it tightly before shoving it against your chest, making room for himself between them.

He releases you for a moment, only to unzip his uncomfortably tight pants. You shut your eyes and look away, only to feel the soul-crushing weight of his cock slam against your lower stomach. You writhe underneath him, small sobs and hiccups coming from your mouth every few seconds. He pauses for a moment but ultimately decides to continue. You peer up between your wet palms and see him rubbing the tree trunk between his thighs while looking down at your pathetic form.

"W-wait! I-I'm not rea-" He grabs your thighs and forces you closer to him and lines his cock up with your entrance, he slides it up and down your folds, causing you to shudder. He doesn't care if you're ready or not. You shut your eyes as he presses forth. You scream in pain. It won't go in. You're too tight, he's too big and you're dry. The tip can't even get through. You whimper in pain. It burns. You need moisture. He lifts his mask a bit and you get a peek of his jaw. It's noticeably sharp and covered in stubble. You feel his saliva plap against your poor dry cunt before he puts his mask back into place. He tries to enter you again. You yelp. He gets a bit through before he can't anymore. He sighs. He was trying to be gentle. He didn't want to break you so quickly...

He grips your thighs tightly. You feel his nails dig in. You barely have time to register the pain before you feel like you're being ripped in two. He's forcing his way in. You immediately let out a scream and begin spazzing. He just continues until he reaches his base, more than snug against your insides. Drool leaks past the corner of your lip as you stare off into space. He breathes heavily and stares at the bulge he created in your lower stomach. He brushes his hand over it and watches as you whimper and twitch. He pulls his hips back and watches it disappear before ramming himself in again and seeing it jab through your insides. He chuckles.

You lay there, unable to do anything but feel what he's doing to you. You lift your arm and place it on his lower stomach, hoping to stop him that way. You feel his rock-hard abs through his shirt and push. "You're...adorable...fuck.. you're tight." He groans before he slams himself deep inside and you clench around him. He hisses and struggles to pull out halfway, your insides trying to pull him back in. He slams in again and presses himself as deeply as he can, firmly hugging your cervix with his cock. Your eyes cross as he thrusts in and out, keeping a proper pace. Moans spill from your lips along with jumbled-up words he can't make out, all of which sound like music to his ears.

He leans over you, forcing himself snugly against you again, his mask right next to your cheek. He groans as he feels you twitch around him. "Feel..so good... was worried you'd rip... you're only bleeding a little." You can hear the smug grin in his tone.

It feels so good. You're so ashamed, feeling good when you're being raped by a maniac. You clench your tear-filled eyes as he pounds into your aching cunt. The knot in your lower stomach bursts as you cum. He moans as you tighten around him. He stills for a second, just enjoying how you feel before he pounds into you like a feral beast. You're surprised your pelvis is holding up. He grips your waist tight and grunts as he empties his balls deep inside you. You can almost feel yourself getting pregnant. You feel too full. Your stomach bloats with cum. You feel hot and fuzzy. Your pussy is so very sore and your legs are numb. He pants above you. "I've been thinking of getting myself a little wife like you." He says as he slowly pulls his still throbbing cock out with a wet 'pop'. "You're a pretty little thing and you take my cock well. Be grateful I'm letting you live as my cock sleeve." He stands up, towering over your crumpled body once again. "My name is Eden. Your duties from now on are cooking, cleaning, mending my clothes and taking my seed. Do not make me repeat these orders. Object and I won't hesitate to remind you of your place. I was gentle this time." His giant cock is still dripping your juices. You can't stop looking at it. Ge takes notice and climbs over you before grabbing your head and forcing you close to his groin. "I see you love cock. Lick it clean then like a good wife. go on."

You look up at him and hesitate a bit too long. You see anger flash in his eyes and you quickly envelop his tip in your mouth. He groans as you lick your mixed juices off, going as deep as you can without choking. He moans and grabs the back of your head. He stares down at you with such intensity that you can feel him burning holes into you. You suddenly feel your throat being invaded and your nose pressing into his pubic hair, nose pressing into his crotch. He moves you back and forth, face fucking you. You struggle to breathe properly through your nose. You let out muffled whimpers and cries, sending vibrations through his cock. He grunts in pleasure before you feel a load of hot thick liquid being shot into your mouth and down your throat. You're so tired. He slowly pulls his cock back and laughs at your exhausted state. Your head flops back onto the bed, your jaw and lips so incredibly sore and raw feeling. "Good girl." He says before your sight fades to black. You explored a bit too much.

#lemon #non con #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #dead dove do not eat #slashers #noncon x reader #obsessive love #degrees of lewdity #eden the hunter

[smuthospital]

hellooo, how was ur life recently?? i hope ure doing okay. n dont forget to always take care of ur health bae 💕

I was dumped too. It's ok. Knew him for a week. Shouldn't have expected much. I'm perfect, but he wanted more than I could offer or was comfortable with. I have made my health suffer greatly. I took an ADHD pill and skipped all food. Depression kicking my ass. Dw tho suicide is haram. I can't do that. Palestinian ppl just have bad luck, I've found. Ill be better later probably idk

[smuthospital]

I was hit by a car. Your girl just can't catch a break. Hit and run. Currently looking for the bastard. Im ok for the most part

[smuthospital]

This year has been really bad for me. I broke up with my x of five years, i almost died of a kidney infection, my people are being murdered in mass in Palestine, my grandfather passed away, and i fell for a scam. Above all that, i realized who is and is not my friend. Some people just leave. I'm coming to terms with it. Maybe it's me. It might be. I can dwell on it all day, but I just don't know what i did wrong. Maybe im too much trouble. It's lonely. I'm afraid to make new friends. They all just leave eventually. If i get too used to them and they disappear, what will happen to me? If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear or see it, did it fall? Do i exist? I feel like i live on my own plane of reality, detached from everyone else. They don't feel what i feel, and my saddness disrupts the peace. It messes with their 'vibe'. I hate this world. They slip through my fingers like sand. Begging for your friends to message you once is pathetic. They don't want me. I'll grant them one more act of friendship and leave them alone. I'll get back to writing soon. Been in a rut.

- D.

#dahlias sad times

[smuthospital]

Gonna go ahead and make ot canon that anyone i wrote for would be disgusted if reader was a zionist or even just isreali. Like immediately throw up and fuck someone else immediately just to get rid of the disgusting memory

[smuthospital]

Guys, i just KNOW Ghosts dick is THICK. Like it's mf THICK. He holds a beer can in one hand, and his meat beer can in the other. Mans got a third leg. Splits you tf open, no matter your experience, always feels like the first time. Says shit like "bend over, princess" with that deep as fuck British accent MY LOOOORD. I am such a slut for that man. The way my body would transformers prime onto my hands and knees. I need to write something nice and misogynistic bout that whore. Something about him not seeing the point of women in the army, OR maybe teaching reader her place idk. I'll make it filthy 😈 Also, I'm finally dipping into the COD shit so COD lovers be warned. I write noncon. If you don't like that, read the warning, block, or eat shit. I will not be responsible for things you see.

#simon ghost riley #cod #call of duty #lemon #thirst

[smuthospital]

I do not t know this man either. He could hsve heard me say im Palestinian in a group chat. Smh the depravity. I might post these here for fun when i get them. If i have to see it, you do too

[smuthospital]

What in the name of hell. I do not know this man. We spoke briefly before i said i dont wanna anymore. Never even saw this menace in person

#weirdshit

[smuthospital]

Eek just thinking about thomas hewitt x kidnapped reader who gets pregnant after a non con night with him and thomas treating them right- like reader making a meal and thomas coming up behind them and having his big beefy arms absolutely encase reader and one hand completely encasing their belly djfnfnf

Here you go~

⭐️Thomas Hewit/ Leatherface x pregnant reader⭐️

Warning: Nothing but fluff (fem reader)

A feel weeks after you were kidnapped by the giant, Tommy, you woke up feeling sick. Unfortunately, you were chained to a pipe next to the bed, so you threw up all over the floor. Thomas heard your wretching and practically ripped the door off its hinges when he barged in. He immediately got down on all fours to help you up and clean your face with his hands, staring at you like you were dying in his arms. Concered whines escaped his throat as he cradled you. "I.. I dont feel...too good.." You mumble. His mother pears in from the doorway, and her face lights up. "Oh my heavens! A new Hewit! I better get my knitting needles out for a blanket!" She cheered as she walked in. Thomas looked between you and her in shock before looking down at your stomach. He was still for a few seconds before he hugged you...a bit too tightly. "Tommy...too tight!" You wheezed, and he immediately let go before nuzzling into your neck. A few weeks later, your tummy began to expand. Momma Hewit has had you helping around the house, training you to be a proper wife and mother. Thomas treats you like a queen. Washes you, clothes you, feeds you, he'd do anything for you. You're beginning to like him back, as much as it scares you. You're in the kitchen making stew when Thomas spots you from the hallway. He'd just finished chopping wood. You look like an angel. The most beautiful woman he's ever seen. You're wearing an apron that really shows off your cute little baby bump. He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, surprising you. You jump a bit in shock and almost drop your wooden spoon. He rubs your tummy as a form of apology. You understand what he's trying to tell you more and more. His eyes crinkle in happiness as his hands encase your tummy, rubbing it affectionately. You smile softly and continue mixing the stew.

#x reader #yandere x reader #slashers #fluff #leatherface #texas chainsaw massacre #thomas hewitt #fem reader

[smuthospital]

Is it ok to send u random thrists of characters? Also i just discovered you and love ur writing! Hope ur doing well and if u need, my dms r open

Thank you😊 and yes, it's ok. I'll do them if i know and like the charicter. Thirsts are far easier to write than entire fics, so it shouldn't take too long. Can be nsfw, noncon, fluff even. Or both 😈

[smuthospital]

Are you currently in Palestine?? Hoping you arent and that youre okay :(, x

No, but sometimes, I wish I was. If i could replace just one kid and they could live happily in my place, I'd die happy. I've always hated how evil Israel is. A terror state to my people. For years, I've seen my people die and die and be forced out. My family is unfortunately victims of the Naksa. Thank you for wishing me well. I expected more people to call me a terrorist lol

[smuthospital]

Bro idk what happened but suddenly I'm unfollowed from you so I re followed your account today after noticing it and I just learned about the new drama, people really be starting to forget normal etiquette when it comes to writing fromn "inspiration" (although it's literally the same) 🫂🫂🫂

Fr i know. Crazy and disrespectful. Its a new account tho. Other account was deleted rip. I blocked the theif so they cant 'take inspo' anymore. That was really annoying lol

[smuthospital]

🎃⭐️Texas Chainsaw Massacre x reader⭐️🎃

Art by: Minilev

Premise: You go hiking with a friend and this bitch has the audacity to leave you alone. You end up hitchhiking with some hippies, but their van gets a flat! Oh no! Good thing there's a farmhouse nearby. Maybe they can help

Note: I had this in the drafts for awhile. I decided to whip it out for halloween. Enjoy. Say one thing bad thats not constructive criticism and its a block. Tired of these fucking kids smh. Also, imagine everyone with a soulthern accent

-Dr. Smut

Minors DNI

Warning: Non-Con, side charicter death, mentions of gore, kidnapping, fem reader

"So uh..thanks for picking me up." You say with a nervous smile. You refrain from coughing as the strong smell of marijuana floods your nose. Right now, you're in a classic 70s Volkswagen van, hitchhiking through Texas. Your friend convinced you to go backpacking with her, but a quarterway through, she ditched you to continue the trip with her new boyfriend. Some junky she met at a gas station. You can't exactly turn tail and go home because she took the car, and stranded you in the middle of nowhere so, you had no choice, but to catch a ride with some hippies.

"No prob, sweet cheeks. Anything for a pretty lil' lady like yourself." The driver looks back at you for a moment and winks. You think he may like you. You cringe slightly. "Eddy has a crush on you! Ain't that right, Ed?" A girl next to you wearing a tie-dye crop top pokes Edds back a couple of times. "Well, who wouldn't?" He chuckles. You play with your fingers nervously. You've been driving along a dusty, desolate path through some empty part of Texas for a while now. You've always been perturbed by the idea of Texas. Americans and with their guns and hot temper and all. It seems you may have watched too many scary movies. You haven't seen a soul for miles, let alone a house, just tall grass and more tall grass.

The car suddenly jolts and you're all jostled around. The girl sitting next to you clings to you as the driver slams the brakes. You gasp for air, your heart pounding a mile a minute. "Huh!? W-what the!?" Edd shouts before hopping out to investigate. You cautiously slip out the back and join him. Edd lifts a spiked wire. It's still stuck in the now flat tire. "Some asshole must'a dropped it here while delivering somethin'," he says as he drops it back on the ground. It popped the back tires. You pull out your phone. No service. Of course.

"Do you have any spares?" You ask, hoping to get out of this creepy place. "Unfortunately these are the spares, sweet cheeks." He sighs. "Weren't you supposed to buy more, Ed?" Ann shouts from the window. "This is no time to argue! We have to get help!… Look, There's a farmhouse right there. Let's hope someone's home." He says, walking towards it.

You hesitantly follow them to the creepy house. "I'm gonna check the farm, you two knock on the door." Edd doesn't give anyone time to respond before he walks off. You walk up to the front door and Ann knocks. You feel like you're being watched. You shift from foot to foot nervously. A few minutes pass and no word. Not even a sound. "What the? Where's Edd? If no one was home, he should be back by now!" Ann looks around. You begin feeling incredibly anxious. "Let's go find that idiot," she says and walks off quickly, you follow behind her. You can't leave her to do it by herself so you agree. You walk over to the farm and see…the gate open.

"H..hello?" You call. "E-Edd?"…No response. The two of you cautiously walk into the house. It smells like wood and iron. You see a red smudge on the wall…weird. This is getting scary. "Ann…I think we sh-" You're cut off by a blood-curdling scream from Ann. You quickly go over to the open doorway she's looking at to see a horrific sight. Edd has been cut to pieces. You hold back bile in your throat and grab Ann. "Let's go!" You shout. She snaps out of her trance and follows you to the entryway, only for the two of you to halt in your tracks.

Standing there is a giant, his hulking frame filling the doorway. He's the scariest thing you've ever seen in your life. A mask covers half his face, and in his arms is a chainsaw. You make eye contact with the beast and scream. Ann yanks you deeper into the house, hoping to find an exit. The man follows you, hot on your trail. You see a back door and try to open it, but it's locked. Cassie then barely avoids losing her arm as she dodges the giant.

He hasn't tried to attack you yet. You grab a chair and smash it through a window. You pick up a plant and throw it at the man, who cornered Ann. He's completely unphased, but pauses and looks at you as if to warn you. You toss his warning to the wind and jump on his back. "Ann, go!" You scream. Ann runs towards the window but stops when another man shorter than the man you're currently on top of, smashes a hammer onto her head.

You hear a crack and she falls to the floor, limp. "Ann!" You cry. Your body was then slammed to the floor by the hulking, chainsaw-wielding psychopath. You whimper and crawl backwards. You hit a wall and he lifts his chainsaw towards you. You're thankful It's turned off. You close your eyes and wait for death. You feel the blade lightly touch your collarbone…and then gently move down between your breasts and to the junction between your spread legs…he rubs your thigh with the chainsaw lightly, as if thinking. You look up at him in confusion. He tosses the saw to the side and grabs your face in his large hand. He tilts your head from side to side, examining you.

"Think she's pretty, Tommy?" The man who just attacked Ann asked.

'Tommy', the giant holding your face grunts and nods. You're horrified. Does this monster think you're pretty? "Yeah, I agree, Tommy. Good thing you didn't turn her into dinner… though, I don't think you were gonna. You had your eye on her since their car landed in our road trap." He laughed. Trap!? This was all a setup!? Did he say dinner!? Your head is spinning.

Tommy looped his bur waist arm around your waist and hoisted you up, placing you on his shoulder like you weighed a small sack of potatoes. "H-hey! What are you doing? Put me down!" You shout, pounding your hands on his back, but it doesn't even look like he knows you're hitting him. You hear footsteps and look up to see an old woman looking over at you. “P-please help me” you whimper. She smiles down at you sweetly.

"Well, I do say, you sure found yourself a sweet little thing. Ain't that right, Thomas.” The hulking figure above you grunts in agreement. You cry as you realize she has no intention of helping you in the least. “She has a pretty voice too…Take care of my Tommy, girl!” She warns, glaring down at you. “Tommy. Get'er to pop out a few farmhands, will you?" All blood drains from your face. They…want you to…what? Tommy carries you down into a dark, creepy basement. You almost puke. You see dead bodies hanging from hooks and dismembered limbs and bones strewn about….is that Edd? You're carried down a hallway and into a room. The room is empty besides a dirty mattress in a corner. He throws you on the mattress and begins to undress you immediately.

You scream and try to stop him, but he's just too strong. "P-Please stop!" You cry. Tears flow down your cheeks and you hiccup. Tommy leans down and wipes away your tears, not calming you in the slightest. He strips you down to your bra and panties and takes a good look at you, drinking up your body. You can see the lust in his eyes. He grunts in excitement and removes his bloody apron. You curl your body up and hide yourself from him. He softly strokes your cheek and hugs you like you're a teddy bear. He's oddly gentle, but you feel he's losing patience. He taps your shoulder a few times, silently urging you to show yourself to him. when you don't, his taps become a little harder. He grunts in annoyance. He presses himself into you, trying to get closer. You feel his hard cock through his pants and try to shuffle back.

He grunts in frustration, yanking your arm and knees apart, forcing your body to reveal. You need to do something!…" Please,… don't hurt me, Tommy" He only stares into your eyes. You can see emotions swirl in his eyes before he lets go of you and stomps out of the room. Looks like he's giving you time to cooperate. You bring your hands to your face and sob. You look up. You have to get out of here! You hope to god you can do this. You get up and tip-toe towards the door as quietly as you can. You slowly open it and slide it open just enough for you to fit through, which proves to be quite difficult as it's very heavy. You don't know how the monster did it before.

You continue to quietly make your way down the dark hallway, missing the dark shadow to your side. You try not to look around too much at the carnage before making your way up the stairs. You find the window you previously broke now boarded up. You take a deep breath, preparing to make a run for the front door. You haven't heard anyone yet so you think you're still in the clear. You make it to the front door and just as you're about to try and open it, your body is slammed against the wall, your breath knocked out of you. You cough and groan. You feel dizzy. You look up to see Tommy staring down at you with a look of anger. Was he waiting for you to try to escape?

You grit your teeth before lifting your knee to knee him in the crotch, but he anticipates it and grabs your leg, lifting it. He makes space for himself between your legs and lets his large hands roam your bare midriff and up to your breasts where he proceeds to rip off your bra, revealing your chest to him. You whimper in pain and try to hide yourself, earning yourself a shove into the wall, banging your head slightly.

The corners of your eyes go dark for a few moments. Your head stops spinning when he leans down and slides his tongue up your cheek. His other hand reaches down and roughly grabs at your clothed cunt. He makes sounds of excitement once again. Saying you're terrified would be an understatement. You feel his fingers cup and wiggle around down there, not knowing what to do, but liking the feeling of doing it.

You again try to shove him off as best you can. He grunts in annoyance and moves the hand previously on your chest up to your throat. Your whimpers and please turn into choked gasps and gurgles as he squeezes. He gets even closer and you can feel something hard rub against your lower stomach. "Get her, Tommy, get her!" You hear from behind him. He grunts in response and tears off your underwear. He brings it to his nose and inhales. His eyes roll back a bit as if smelling the most heavenly scent imaginable.

You now realize he's probably never held a woman before and he's completely deprived of any sort of warm human touch. "Common, Tommy, gimme that! You get to have her, the least I should get is her undies!" His brother pleads. Tommy contemplates holding the small bit of cloth in front of him before tossing it back, which his brother catches and desperately presses to his face, moaning into the fabric like it's an oxygen mask.

Tommy grabs your hair and begins dragging you back down to the basement. You scream in pain and grab onto his hand for any relief as you're forced to the ground. "No! Please! Ahh Stop!" You cry out. He drags your naked body down the blood-crusted steps and makes his way back to the room you dread. He tosses you onto the mattress once again. By the time you manage to get up on your knees, you hear a clinking sound and turn to see him undoing his belt.

You crawl into the corner as he gets on his knees before you, his shadow casting over you. He unbuttons his shirt and lets it fall off. You now know that trying to inflict pain on him is futile. Muscles that scream he could crush you like a soda can. Not only is he as big as a fridge, but he also looks like an off-season pro wrestler. You can see a very prominent bulge struggling to free itself. The size of the tent itself is intimidating.

His eyes lock on yours as he slowly unzips his belt and frees his aching cock. You look away and feel his weight settle on the bed closer to you. You can feel his heavy breathing on the side of your face. He grabs your legs and yanks you beneath him, positioning himself at your entrance. You feel his bulbous tip rub up and down your folds. "Please…" Your eyes widen and you trail off as your eyes lower to what's prodding at your cunt. You want to look away, but morbid curiosity wins. It's almost unbelievable. His cock like himself, is too big. It's long, very thick and veiny. It looks like a beer can. You can just tell he's smiling under his mask.

He slowly pushes the tip in. You try to scoot back, but he grips your hips with his massive hands and pushes forward, but fails entry, seeming too big. He grunts in frustration. He tries again, this time managing to push the tip in. You scream. It hurts so bad. "No, y-you're too big!" you gasp, squirming in place. He holds your hips tighter and continues pushing forward, impaling you on his cock, all the way to the base.

Your mind blanks. You're unable to think cohesively. You're in so much pain. He lets out a groan of pleasure and doesn't wait for you to adjust to his size and just starts moving. It feels like your organs are moving around to accommodate his massive size. You look down to see a large bulge in your lower stomach. You whimper and groan as he thrusts. "W-why?" You croak. He looks up at you before lifting your knees, pressing them to your chest and leaning on you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you feel him push deeper into your womb, the tip of his cock threatening to push through your cervix. He nuzzles his face into the side of your neck, cooing softly to you affectionately while playing with your hair as if to say 'I love you'.

You cry beneath him, moans being forced from your lips as his hips plow into yours. Tommy grabs your breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers. You can hear him making happy sounds of some sort between grunts. He suddenly picks you up and gets off the bed with you in his arms, skewering you on his cock. He raises you up and down like a human fleshlight. You uncontrollably moan into his shoulder. His hands grope your ass as he starts to force you up and down faster. It feels good. You can't help but feel shame.

He grunts loudly and forces himself as deep as he can. You whine as you feel a rush of hot cum flow into you. Rope after rope, he fills you up. You feel so hot inside. Your stomach bloats from the sheer volume he fucked into you. He pants and looks at you, rubbing your cheek with his. He slowly lifts you off his cock, cum pouring from your abused cunt before setting you down on the mattress. He covers you with a thick warm blanket and brushes your hair from your face, stroking it with his thumb lovingly. If you knew this was gonna be a one-way trip, you would've brought some pillows.

#lemon #non con #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #dead dove do not eat #male yandere #yandere noncon #texas chainsaw massacre #bubba sawyer #thomas hewitt #slashers #fem reader

[smuthospital]

who did it?

@sxxhijkox

The fic in question

Ya plz report her for explicit content or something, guys. Im currently writing something else and i don't want her to steal it

This is the person who took the fic i made. Fr, I'll never understand being so uncreative like that. Ruins the experience for the original writer.

#plagerism #copywriting

[smuthospital]

If that girl who plagiarized my work doesn't at least tag me in it, im gonna ask you guys to mass report it, please. She copied almost everything down to the flow of the plot and only changed some words, but it's very clearly my work. Exactly like a coloring book, she only changed the colors and dubbed it as her original work. I've never had anyone do this to my knowledge. People are so uncreative and childish. It's embarrassing. At her big age, she should know what PLAGURISM is. I've also got a surprise for all my readers today. Something spooky. I'm just editing it. Hopefully, no one gets the idea to copy it.

[smuthospital]

I found that someone posted a work almost exactly like mine, but im not sure what to do. I think the writer is a minor, lol. Everything is just slightly different. Like synonymous are different. Confirmed. They took inspo kinda

#plagerism