slutshamedbones

[slutshamedbones]

Uhm I HAVENT been active on this account in so long since I started to recover. (This will have bad punctuation and GRAMMER bc like cmon this is tumblr)

I stopped obsessing over my Ed and im honestly so much happier, I know THERES nothing I can say to get anyone with this sick mental disease to suddenly “fix” them bc I know how annoying an pointless it can be. I now look back on my mental state and I was so far gone from my true self:( I never got to a dangerously low weight but that ISNT necessary to have an Ed, I’ve been scrolling on my old saved tags, liked posts, search history and im luckily not an easily triggered person but there was that lingering feeling and voice that wanted to go back. I hope and wish everyone recovery because everyone deserves it<3 I ruined relationships, grades, and my health for something that wasnt worth it. I know reading this will have no effect on ur disorder bc you’ve probably heard this a million times before (I GET IT IVE BEEN THERE)

The amount of ppl I hurt with my Ed, how selfish I was and saw everyone as a competition definitely had its karma. I know it may be hard to believe but YOU DO HAVE SOMEONE THAT CARES FOR YOU AND IT HURTS THEM SEEING YOU LIKE THIS this ISNT to guilt trio or anything like that its more like maybe for realization. If you DONT have that person You WILL meet them someday please just keep fighting. So, about that karma it came and hit me so hard. Recently the boy I love, aka my best friend, aka the boy id die for, started to show signs of an Ed and it pains my soul I’ve never cried so much. I wish I could hug him and explain how beautiful h is and he DOESNT need to change anything about himself. If this stupid disease takes him away I DONT think I’ll be able to live through that.

There ISNT a moral in this, nor is this even half of my Ed journey but I wanted to let ATLEAST ONE person out there that they are loved and that its not worth it. You are so fucking beautiful please sont do that to urself. If you need to vent dm me I’ll answer and you can talk abt urself for a while bc what am I, a stranger on tumblr who has been through what you are going through, going to do with that info. (Im a girl INCASE that makes any of the girls feel safer if they do decide to vent+ the tags are so that I reach the right people I FO NOT ENCOURAGE ANY OF THEM)

#not pr0 4n4 #not pr0 mia #tw ana thoughts #ed not sheeran #ed tumbr #tw ed #ana ed #edbllr #recovery #an0rexi4 #ana fast #tw ana stuff #ana trigger #ana relatable #body ch3ck #i will reach my ugw #i will be skiny

[slutshamedbones]

I don't know whether I protect my friends and family from eds because I want to keep them safe and healthy, or because I don't want them to get skinnier than me

#model thin #tw edd #tw ed in the tags #tw ed #no eating #not pro #eating disoder things #tw eating things #it's not as simple as just eating #not pr0 4n4 #not pr0 mia #eating problems #i will reach my ugw #i wish i was kidding #4n4