shift-dreamr

[shift-dreamr]

Fuck

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

#ao3

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The only thing I need from twitter is Hozier’s account, so I have a plan. @zipperrants , you can bump off my free unlimited WiFi (I am now a hotspot) and you show me Andrew’s twitter page

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DEBOOBINATOR

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Ohhhhhhh. I got an apple. Fucking rip off

I just wanna bite somebody

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@zipperrants I’m legit just gonna tag you in all of these

hey (with the intention of stealing a Lexus, being detectives riding around picking up clues, naming our children Jackie and Wilson and raising them on rhythm and blues)

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Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

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Wanda Maximoff core

(lil rant ab my kids in my dr)

right now, it really just hit me that i’m not with my kids.

i need to shift right this fucking second and hold them oh my god.

who cares who my s/o is or what dr. i’m missing my babies right now

i want to cry

do you think they’ll ever understand the lengths i am going through and will forever go through just to see them? just to let them know their mama loves them?

and i know i know, im not actually away from them. i’m with them right now. but i need to know how they feel. what they look like when they just wake up or when they fall asleep. what their laughs sound like. what traits they get from me.

do they squint when they laugh? do they play with their hair when they’re nervous? do they flush completely red when they have to do public speaking?

(i know that realities exist where all of this is true and none of this is true. but at least they exist. at least they’re mine)

i understand i’m not the best person ever, but i’ll burn down the world and every fucking reality past that if i’m not able to just tell them i love them and experience it for myself.

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Nia WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GIFS

I just wanna bite somebody

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@zipperrants us fr

am i against the objectification of hozier that we've seen as of late? yeah, totally, it's weird. is too sweet also the sexiest thing ive ever heard in my life? unfortunately, yes. it's hot. its a hot song. apologies for the woman i am when that song is playing. a bit feral, like.

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Like two years ago I asked my dad if he would still love me if I was a worm, and the conversation went as follows:

“What kind of question is that?”

“I wanna know. Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

*deep sigh* “I would buy you a little plant and put you in the dirt-“

“Awwwww!”

“Let me finish. I would buy you a little plant and put you in the dirt and then cover the surface of the dirt with banana peels so you only have two options; suffocate beneath the banana peel or eat through it.”

“I’ll do the secret, third option. Wait in an air pocket in the dirt for you to lift the bananas to see if I’m dead then escape, worm inch my way to the beehive, and sick my friends on you.”

“You don’t have any friends.”

“I- 🖕😾🖕”

After all these years, it finally happened

It happened

I had a dream I was a worm

I was a worm in a relationship with a human man

He still loved me even though I was a worm

The question has been answered

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Hold the fuck up-

Like I knew it wasn’t the love song everyone on TikTok thinks it is but I didn’t know all this @zipperrants

I am having normal emotions about the new hozier ep

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😭

I will take him home and make him cookies

What I think Andrew (aka Hozier) will be like in my dr as incorrect quotes

Andrew: Zipper and I are no longer friends. Zipper: ANDREW THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Zipper: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Andrew: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Zipper: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Andrew: Is it working?

Zipper: My hands are cold. Andrew: Here, let me hold them. Zipper: My lips are cold too. Andrew: *covers Zipper's mouth with their hand*

Zipper: I'm trash. Andrew: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Zipper: Zipper: You smooth motherfucker. Zipper: And yes it does.

Andrew: Are you trying to seduce me? Zipper: Why, are you seducible?

Zipper: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Andrew: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Zipper: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Andrew: Wow. They sound stupid. Zipper: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Andrew: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Zipper: I guess you’re right. Hey Andrew, I love you. Andrew: See! Just say that! Zipper: Holy fucking shit. Andrew: If that flies over their head then, sorry Zipper, but they're too dumb for you. Zipper: Andrew.

Andrew: Is something burning? Zipper, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Andrew: Zipper, the toaster is literally on fire.

Zipper: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Andrew: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both

Zipper: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart. Andrew: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Zipper: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Andrew: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Zipper: Relationships should be 50/50. Andrew cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Zipper: You got a date yet Andrew? Andrew: No... Zipper: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Zipper: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you. Andrew: That's great, Zipper. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Zipper: The stars are so beautiful... Andrew: They're just giant balls of gas. Zipper: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Andrew: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Zipper: Oh...

Zipper: Pros and cons of dating me. Zipper: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Zipper: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Andrew: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— Zipper: We’re married.

Andrew: I fell— Zipper: From heaven? Andrew: No, I literally fell— Zipper: In love with me the moment you saw me? Andrew: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Zipper: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Andrew: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Zipper: Oh. We're going out? Andrew: Wh...

Zipper: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Andrew: I wrote you a poem. Zipper, already crying:You did?

Zipper: We should be partners. Andrew: You mean like, partners in crime? Zipper: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Zipper: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Andrew: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Zipper: ... Zipper: You mean ring bearER, right? Andrew: ... Zipper: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

@shift-dreamr

[shift-dreamr]

As promised, everyone else’s problem

“Woman, I am terrified. Why is the house shaking?”

#andrew byrne hozier #andrew hozier byrne #hozier #hozier liked #the hoziest #andrew #Andrew Byrne #reality shift #reality shifting #desired reality #anti shifters dni #shifters #shiftinconsciousness #shifting #shiftblr #mental health #funny

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No, he’s bringing a bear. I’m the maid of honor and I get to bring the bear home with me. My bear.

What I think Andrew (aka Hozier) will be like in my dr as incorrect quotes

Andrew: Zipper and I are no longer friends. Zipper: ANDREW THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

Zipper: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Andrew: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Zipper: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Andrew: Is it working?

Zipper: My hands are cold. Andrew: Here, let me hold them. Zipper: My lips are cold too. Andrew: *covers Zipper's mouth with their hand*

Zipper: I'm trash. Andrew: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you? Zipper: Zipper: You smooth motherfucker. Zipper: And yes it does.

Andrew: Are you trying to seduce me? Zipper: Why, are you seducible?

Zipper: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. Andrew: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Zipper: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Andrew: Wow. They sound stupid. Zipper: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Andrew: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Zipper: I guess you’re right. Hey Andrew, I love you. Andrew: See! Just say that! Zipper: Holy fucking shit. Andrew: If that flies over their head then, sorry Zipper, but they're too dumb for you. Zipper: Andrew.

Andrew: Is something burning? Zipper, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Andrew: Zipper, the toaster is literally on fire.

Zipper: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Andrew: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both

Zipper: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart. Andrew: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Zipper: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Andrew: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Zipper: Relationships should be 50/50. Andrew cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Zipper: You got a date yet Andrew? Andrew: No... Zipper: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Zipper: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you. Andrew: That's great, Zipper. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Zipper: The stars are so beautiful... Andrew: They're just giant balls of gas. Zipper: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Andrew: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Zipper: Oh...

Zipper: Pros and cons of dating me. Zipper: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Zipper: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Andrew: *Laughs* Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— Zipper: We’re married.

Andrew: I fell— Zipper: From heaven? Andrew: No, I literally fell— Zipper: In love with me the moment you saw me? Andrew: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Zipper: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Andrew: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Zipper: Oh. We're going out? Andrew: Wh...

Zipper: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Andrew: I wrote you a poem. Zipper, already crying:You did?

Zipper: We should be partners. Andrew: You mean like, partners in crime? Zipper: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Zipper: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Andrew: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Zipper: ... Zipper: You mean ring bearER, right? Andrew: ... Zipper: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

@shift-dreamr

[shift-dreamr]

Blep!

Bleep

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Fuck it I’m in love and I’m about to make it everyone else’s problem

#reality shift #reality shifting #desired reality #anti shifters dni #shifters #shiftinconsciousness #shifting #shiftblr #mental health #funny #andrew byrne hozier #andrew hozier byrne #hozier #the hoziest

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Both. Both is good

can't tell if he looks like an university history/literature professor who is able to find meaning in everything or a homeless man