shhkeepasecret

[shhkeepasecret]

Who are you?

I’m a liar.

Are you fear?

No, I’m desire.

#writing #b&w #free write

[shhkeepasecret]

I wonder what you thought before the end.

If your mind was there even in part.

If a part of you was aware of how we treated you.

It was not poor by any means, but we were still flawed from the start.

So, I hope you know, that we gave you our best intentions, the only thing of ours with any worth.

#writing #poetry #goodbye

[shhkeepasecret]

I drew a picture with everyone but never left room for myself. I am stuck between killing the character and wondering if it ever even existed in this world.

[shhkeepasecret]

I am doing things again I once thought were done.

As the wounds heal I reveal the deepest layers of my skin to the sun in a fashion not so terribly foreign.

In the light the darkness retreats and I think I only need help when the moons stands risen.

#writing #b&w #free write

[shhkeepasecret]

Oh insomnia from a day well spent, you hinder my rise of tomorrow’s rent

Grant me relief from your long waking spell, grant me a wish of sleep, do tell

Each night I lie awake wondering whether my dreams or reality be more true. I opt for the world in between praying that it be the place I am to be. A dream of awareness. A reality of imagination. Whatever it may be, every night I go there betwixt my wake and my sleep.

#writing #poetry #b&w #free write #free wrting

[shhkeepasecret]

Silly, silly thinking you had a chance on your own

Your playing roulette in the grim reaper’s home

[shhkeepasecret]

Am I happy or manic or falling back into the cycle...

[shhkeepasecret]

Courage is a fickle thing.

Founded in its opposition of fear, ignited by the necessity of survival.

Courage is constructed by its rivals. A weapon in battle of a world withstanding.

And as soon as your courage has built itself up, the very task you have braved... will destroy you.

Yet the destruction of your courage fuels the fires of more.

#photography #photoart #photo edit #writing

[shhkeepasecret]

Night doodles

#writing #b&w #drawing

[shhkeepasecret]

Dark hues

[shhkeepasecret]

It is as simple as 1, 2, 3. We toss and turn wanting, waiting to be set free. For what are we but predictable creatures, judging the best laid plans of mice, when we are merely men. Roll over again, to the side of the bed. No matter what you do, a thought runs rampant through your head.

#writing

[shhkeepasecret]

The matter of choice distinguishes between cowardice and fear.

[shhkeepasecret]

I am more self centered than I would like to think. More greedy than I would hope to be. I am more broken than what I choose to admit. I am worse than I used to be.

I just want someone I can share my true self with and have them not run away after. I just want to be seen and picked up and loved. My fear of rejection prohibits such action.

I am left with self-doubt and endless questions. What if I am meant to be broken? What if I do not want to fixed? What if I am meant to go and this is it?

I have no one to answer for no one knows. I just want someone to love me. Someone to care, but I refuse to let anyone in. I refuse because I am scared.

[shhkeepasecret]

So I lay, under the stars, awaiting a hurricane to take me away. Seldom do I wonder where it might sweep me to. Often do I ponder the probability of drifting among the stars, the sea, the clouds. Never once am I surprised at my lack of movement as the winds never gain speed.

I hope for the chance to be guided by a great storm of unforgiving and enthralling emotion that never ceases to disappoint me.

I choose a star. More bright. More blue. One that both blends into and boldly contrasts the onyx sky. I wonder what it must be like. To be seen. To be described. To be memorized. To be the center of blissful fantasy. To be the very same star.

As I recite an internal dialogue reserved for occasions including but not limited to the enchanted gazing of the night sky, he sits, far off, in an unimaginable location to myself. He rests his eyes upon the very same star. He writes his own myths and legends applicable to the world around him. I know not of his looks. Not of his place. Not of his name. Not of him.

Yet, by some unimaginable force, I know his existence to be true. I understand his passion for life. I familiarize myself with his fear of death. I witness his pain in discouragement. Mostly, I feel what he has given to me.

I feel his safety, security. I trust him with my fears as he trusts me with his own. He grazes my wounds with a relieving touch granting me mercy from the woes of the world. We share a love. A love of life. A love of each other.

As I reground myself from my exploration of the galaxy, I realize my futile attempt to remain with him. If I were to bump his shoulder whilst sauntering down a street of mediocre importance, I would not be capable of any more than a half-hearted apology as my concentration remind on my feet, never to glance upon an unwilling stranger for fear of rejection. I would never see his face. I would never distinguish his voice from a crowd. I would never feel his love.

Fate would choose to discern between existence and connection. We believe knowledge of something that could happen equates to its happening. The world is much more cruel. I know he exists. I feel him in every breath I take. I know a path has sprouted that leads to him, but, as fate would have it, I may never know him. I may be damned to continue this life knowing he is there, knowing he is for me, and never attaining his essence in life.

——————————————————————————

Song • Sea of Love by Cat Power (GIF not mine) Just a little short thought/story thing

[shhkeepasecret]

Is it worth it?

[shhkeepasecret]

Baila conmigo, into the night

Turn me around then spin me right

A la derecha, show me the way

Por favor, mi amor, no me dejes

#writing #poetry #gif #black and white #b&w #english #spanish #dance

[shhkeepasecret]

I’ve fallen out of windows, I‘ve fallen out of doors

I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love before.

If we climb up, then we could see

Will you fall from love?

Or fall from the trees?

#writing #poetry #b&w #trees #nature #gif