scaryscarecrows

[scaryscarecrows]

reblog for sample size !!

#Black cat

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Does Trent have a favorite butterfly?

Haha! I win, search!

#Asks #Trent ages

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saw a poll about dry/humid heat and like OBVIOUSLY everyone preferred dry heat but. would love to know what everyone considers to be “too hot”

me personally it’s a hard cutoff at 75°F. don’t need anything more than that thank you 🫶🫶🫶

#Weaklings

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I know you have a few AUs where the Squad get put into different universes and I would like to propose…The Squad in “The Mummy”.

Mark: I hate that movie.

Riley: Seriously?

Mark: Bugs, man. Those bugs. They are the worst, the literal worst.

Jason: Could do without those, honestly.

Jimmy: If you fuckers leave me to die like that one guy, I will haunt you.

Trent: Relax. We'd drag you behind a camel if push came to shove.

Jimmy: I DON'T WANNA END UP LIKE THAT GUY, MAN.

Antoine: Dude, we'd get you. Relax.

Jimmy: HE LOST HIS EYES AND EVERYTHING.

Riley: Kindred spirit!

Jimmy: ...

Riley: :)

Frank: What the fuck--

Riley: I should be him for Halloween.

#asks #the squad #the mummy #poor mr. burns #jason has mild entomophobia from arkham #mark just doesn't like the scarabs 'cause they're creepy and horrid

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Do the Squad consider each other to be friends? I know they're professionals and coworkers, but they seem to have a tight bond that goes beyond what they may have experienced in other jobs.

Jimmy: YOU STOLE MY FRITOS!

Trent: I ate Fritos that I found.

Jimmy: MY NAME WAS ON THEM!

Trent: Is that what that said? It looked like scribbles--

Jimmy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--

Mark: I would betray all of you for the low price of a pack of gum.

Jimmy: FRITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

Trent: They were damn good, too.

Riley: Not as good as the Fanta.

Trent: You. Drank. My Fanta.

Riley: You drank my Izze. We're even.

Trent: LIKE HELL--

Frank: Now, boys, we're going shopping later--who the Hell put an empty peanut butter jar back in here?

Antoine: Mark.

Mark: You goddamn snitch--

Antoine: You wouldn't give me my cigarettes for a week. Payback hurts, huh?

Mark: That was six months ago, you were sick--

Frank: Seriously, Mark? Who raised you?

Mark: Oh, come on--

#asks #the squad #in their own way #yes

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A flintlock rifle with a twisted barrel and heart shaped bore from 1765, formerly owned by George IV, now part of the Royal Collection Trust

More: https://bio.link/museumofartifacts

#SHOT THROUGH THE HEART #AND YOU'RE TO BLAME #YOU GIVE LOVE #A BAD NAME #i'm so sorry i had to add that

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The head of Knight Security is a young man, surely not a day older than twenty. The most noteworthy thing about him is the scar on his face, barely-hidden behind large, mirrored sunglasses, but his little ‘About Me!’ blurb on their website had mentioned growing up in Gotham. More importantly, Muldoon doesn’t give a damn. As long as he and his crew can do their jobs on Isla Sorna, he can return to Isla Nublar, where the threat of weekend tourists is growing and where there’s been…incidents.

“Todd Peters,” the young man says curtly, thrusting a scarred hand out. Muldoon catches it, appreciates the firm grip (and the callouses from guns, very good), and nods.

“Robert Muldoon. Mr. Hammond couldn’t be here today and besides, I’m the one you’ll be answering to.”

There’s seven of them, in total. Not a big team. But enough, Hammond says and Muldoon hopes, to handle the day-to-day here. Hammond thinks this is ridiculous already, but he’s not the one who had to order the chopper in for that mangled worker last Tuesday. He’s far too optimistic. Besides, their credentials are decent enough, and Muldoon will allow you don’t need an army to handle a normal outbreak.

Even if it would make him feel better. Though he can start to relax, maybe, now that Sorkin’s little pets have been removed.

“You’ve e-mailed with McLovin, then.” He jerks his head towards a tall, pale man with flaming red hair pulled into a messy ponytail. Muldoon adjusts his hat and wishes he had his hip flask.

“Yes.”

McLovin steps closer and they shake hands. Stronger than he looks, Muldoon notes. Also calloused, which he wouldn’t have thought, with glasses that thick. Good sign.

“You said this was a zoo?”

“Behind the scenes of one,” Muldoon corrects. “And more of a wildlife preserve, but your duties aren’t contingent on that. Come with me.”

“What exactly do you want from us, Mr. Muldoon?”

“Mr. Hammond will be down later to explain the finer points, but largely you’ll be in charge of moving the residents here from building to building and answering any distress beacons from individuals who may be lost in the jungle.” Or worse. “We have cameras throughout the compound and enclosures that you will watch, and it will be your job as well to make sure the electric fences are on at all times.”

“Christ,” the big guy at the back rumbles, “what kinda zoo is this?”

Muldoon just laughs.

“You’ll see eventually,” he says. “For now, let’s get you boys set up.”

#ficlet #jurassic park #the squad #jason todd #yeah this was entirely jimmy's fault #this would have been post-game #'hey look sun!' #how'd that go for ya boys?

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I’m gonna bite the bullet and finally ask….can we have the story of what happened with Antoine and Z.Z in the Amazon, please?

Here. Here you go. You want any more clarification, too bad.

-Antoine

#asks #antoine drouot #z.z. #antoine blames himself and the Man for this in roughly equal measure #sometimes himself a little more on bad days

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I can't make fun of Arkham goons anymore because of my mother. I'm not kidding. Actual conversation below, prompted by Arkham City:

"So when he turns into a bat--"

"He doesn't do that."

"No?"

"Bruce is a dweeb, not magic."

"But he flies!"

"He has a cape, he only glides."

"Oh."

#arkham city #scary games #scary games with an audience #don't @ me about bruce's dweeb status #look i wouldn't fight him but he's the one who chose to wear a cape and punch people #GOONS ARE REAL AND THEY ARE MY MUM #:(

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If the squad could crossover to another universe, where would they go?

Jason: Nowhere. I've been stabbed, attacked by velociraptors and troodon, straight-up killed more than once...I can take a hint. NO.

Antoine: Is it so wrong to say better you than me? Mm...I don't really want to, because so far I haven't had any of that happen to me. So no. Think I'll stay here.

Jason: I'll kill you.

Trent: Bullshit. Anyways, eh. Eh. Look, the dinosaurs were cool until they got out. Look me in the eye and say they weren't cool.

Jason: They were not.

Trent: You lived. They were cool.

Jimmy: They were! But they did get out and then they sucked. Nah, post-apocalyptic Gotham was. It was something. I had a cool bike.

Trent: Yeah, the cool bikes were nice.

Jimmy: YEAHHH. I mean, sure, shit was weird, but. Bike.

Riley: Oh, yeah, the bike. I don't know, though, Trent's got a point. The dinosaurs were cool as long they stayed, y'know, in.

Jimmy: You say that 'cause you killed one.

Riley: Yeah. Yeah, that helped. But they were cool for a while.

Mark: They were not, they were a problem. I'm with Antoine and the boss. Fuck this. I'm staying right here. It might be a shithole, but it could be worse.

Frank: Seems to me like that sort of thing is only ever gonna lead to trouble. Think I'll settle in and hope for the best, y'know?

#asks #the squad #jason todd #kicked the fourth wall off a cliff for this one #i have written all of these actually #they don't like it

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Edward scoffs.

"They haven't even called a locksmith," he sneers. "You know they haven't, Penguin."

"Do I, Riddler? Do I really?" Oswald hitches around, draws himself up to what little full height he has, and jabs one angry finger in Edward's direction. "I do not stand for disloyalty. I assure you that Miss Marquis called someone the second I asked." He hobbles towards the door. "Where is that damn locksmith?"

"Traffic! There was a shooting on third, a semi blew up, it was ugly!"

"See?" He eases himself to the ground. "You never understood patience. That is the reason you perpetually fail."

"I perpetually fail?" Edward barks a laugh. "How many times have you wound up in the trunk of somebody's car?"

"Occupational hazard--"

"Idiocy hazard--"

"Why, you--"

-------

The screaming is only a little muffled by the door. Mac cringes and whispers, "So? When's the guy comin'?"

"When I call him," Dove says smoothly. "He's right around the corner, it's fine."

"You didn't call?"

"This is the third fucking time," she says, eyes glued to some cheap Tetris knock-off. "They'll sort their shit out eventually."

"What the fuck."

"Look, Mr. Cobblepot's a cockroach and Nygma's sturdy. They'll be fine." Something breaks. Sounds like glass. "Hey, go get coffee."

"But--"

"Vanilla latte, please." She gives him a sunny smile and calls, "Still traffic! There were chemicals in the semi!"

#ficlet #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma #dove marquis #gotham #look dove will tell batman to eat shit and die #but sometimes she has to lie to her boss and usually there's a reason

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Link has definitely had worse weeks. The Calamity, ha, that. That was actually a weekend, but that was terrible. Shockingly, watching the world crumble and die before being brutalized by Guardians is, in fact, not fun. Or the week after he tried to ride the Lord of the Mountain. In his defense, he'd been awake for maybe a month at the time. He had no idea what it was other than 'horse-shaped'.

That time he got clobbered by Magda was terrible. He doesn't like to remember that week.

But this is up there! Ohh, it's up there. Zelda's missing--again!--his arm is...uh...well. He can use it, but it feels like it's being gnawed on by a Lynel pretty much constantly. Hyrule...he has no idea what's happening there, but this whole thing is a mess. And. It's selfish. Maybe a little tiny bit unheroic. But.

There's a veritable mob of people following him as he trudges across the field. All of them want something. Most of them don't even want Hero Business; there's somebody that wants a horse (catch one??), somebody else can start a business if he just gives them thirty pieces of amber (in this economy?), and still someone else wants him to bring a message to their third cousin twice removed in Hebra. The scientists are no better: Purah wants to try some new theory, but of course she can't just ask a civilian to leap off of Dueling Peaks, they'll die, so Linky, if you'd just climb up there...

Sweet mother of Hylia, he needs a nap.

The oozing hole in the ground comes into view. And. Look. He was going down there anyway. There's so many bomb flowers down there, and...well...he may have used more than a couple when he was riding on his stolen Yiga transport, firing wildly at the shrieking Bokoblins fleeing over the hill. It was justice. Those little menaces had knocked him off a cliff and into a pile of cactus. But he's out, is the point, so he was going down there anyway.

But this is absolutely in his top five worst weeks, and Furiosa wouldn't even let him have a Noble Pursuit because 'you're just too young!' He really has no idea if she's bullying him or believes it.

He stops at the edge of the hole. Takes a deep breath. And, before Robbie can ask to get another look at his arm, dives in.

If he screams "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" on the way down, well, he's earned it by now.

#i actually wrote this when totk came out #but yeah i stand by it #nothing gets done without link but BY GOD LEARN TO FEND FOR YOUR FUCKING SELVES #or at least pay better #he might be a heroic person but i'm not arrows ain't cheap

[scaryscarecrows]

WHAT!!!!

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1. Classic Tabby

[Source: Metatron Eyes Maine Coons]

2. Marbled Tabby

[Source: BangkokCats]

3. Mackerel Tabby

[Source: FI*RuusuLinnan Ingrid]

4. Braided Tabby

[Source: Brindle Way Toygers]

5. Spotted Tabby

[Source: NitroKatz Savannahs]

6. Rosetted Tabby

[Source: Liberty Bengals]

7. Ticked Tabby

[Source: King Size]

8. Servaline Tabby

[Source: Akilah Cat] [AAFP Position Statement: Hybrid Cats]

#mackerel tabby #That's our young Mr. Lucas

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Put your music on shuffle, then reblog and put in the tags the first song that comes on! Let’s share music together.

#you've seen the butcher #deftones

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Can we have some stories of times that Frank, beloved Squad Dad, had to give each of them a hug? Thanks!

"Christ, where are they?"

"I don't know, I'm looking. You're sure you weren't followed?"

"Positive." Frank shuffles closer to the monitors and dodges the angry swat. "Relax, son, I'm just lookin', not touchin'."

"You're a menace. Fingers to yourself."

"Christ, you hit one touchscreen--"

"No touching!"

Frank had hit it. He'd hit it pulling Jimmy into a tight hug because oh, thank God, somebody's still alive with that cyclops bastard on the warpath. Jimmy'd fixed it fast enough, it's fine. They're both fine. For now.

The front door opens and closes and Antoine's voice, exhausted and wrung out, reaches them before he does.

"Tell me I'm not walking into a room of corpses."

"Nope." Jimmy switches screens. "Frank's here. Everybody else has gone dark. He follow you?"

"I lost him."

"You hear from the boss?"

"No. Was hoping you had."

"Uh-uh." He comes over, next to Frank, and slumps forward. "You got nothing?"

"Zilch. I can kinda track Deathstroke--chatter, y'know--but it's a ballpark."

"Great."

Frank pulls him into a one-armed hug and promptly rips his hand back when he hits blood.

"What the hell?"

"Armor took the brunt."

"For fuck's sake--c'mon, lemme take a look at it. Next time, lead with the gunshot wound, okay? And gimme your cigarettes."

*

Trent narrowly avoids taking the door off its hinges half an hour later. Antoine's collapsed in Jimmy's spare rolly chair, insisting that he's fine, and Frank has largely given up fighting him on it.

"I swear to God," Trent pants, "when we find the boss, I'm giving him the biggest fucking I Told You So."

"You're not hurt?"

"Nah. I got him to back off with the mini gun and lost him on the back streets." Trent grins and plunks said mini gun on the ground. "Shit, man, you didn't try to fight him, did you?"

"Fuck off," Antoine mutters. "No."

Trent looks fine. Out of breath, a bit, and his hands are badly burned from the confrontation with the Bat, but otherwise he's okay. Well, apart from the bruise on his head, also courtesy of Batman. When Frank pulls him in for a quick hug, there's no broken bones or questionable bloody spots, either.

"I'm okay. Just. You know. Pissed."

"I don't think this was part of the contingency plan."

"Yeah, well, I'm still getting in my I Told You So," Trent gripes. "Because I did. I said that one-eyed bastard was trouble. And now look."

"We all said it. He said it, too, remember?"

"Still. How do we know he didn't double-cross us?"

"We don't, but it's not his style." Jimmy pauses. "Everyone shut up. I got activity at one of the safehouses in Drescher, just lemme work."

*

Mark gets there before Riley does, but there's no time for anything because they've found the Knight, all right, but everything's gone tits-up. They're all gathered around the screen--Mark's only half paying attention, with Antoine's shoulder an' all--watching in anticipatory horror. Well, not Trent. He left to meet them, to offer any help possible. But they're keeping him updated. Frank would love to do the same, but Batman destroyed most of the drones, the remainder are hacked, and Batman also fucked up his leg earlier tonight. So he has to sit here and stew and curse whatever deity did this to them.

Riley made it. He must have. Frank doesn't know anybody else who has a snowball's chance in hell at shooting Deathstroke. A cheer goes up when the assassin staggers back, and yeah, all right, when he's not their problem, the Bat's an impressive fighter. More importantly, he stands a chance at dealing with this asshole.

"Trent's comin' to you," Antoine says tiredly. Mark tries to take the mic away and gets swatted at. "We looking at a pickup or a...a retrieval?"

Silence. Then rapid taps: pickup.

Oh, thank God. Something goes right tonight.

"Okay. He's about...Jimmy, get me--thanks--five minutes out. How bad is it?"

"Not as bad as it'll be when I'm done," Mark grumbles. "Fucking idiot. What the hell got into him? That was never gonna go well."

"Could'a been fear toxin," Frank reminds him. "Could'a been anything."

"Goddamn moron."

"Yeah, well. That's nothing new."

"Humph."

Frank just laughs at him, gives him a friendly elbowing.

"Might wanna grab a Coke," he says. "Night ain't over yet."

*

Riley gets three steps inside before Frank grabs him. Mark's not here to lecture, but that's okay.

"The hell," he says, "was that?"

No answer, but a second later he realizes it's because Riley's arms are pinned. Whoops.

He lets him go and straightens up, hands on hips.

"Well?"

It worked.

"You were gonna try to kick his ass."

Yeah.

"For chrissakes, boy--"

He'd have done it for us.

Yeah. Yeah, he would have. For better or worse.

"Can't argue with that," he says softly. "C'mon, may as well comfy up."

Riley shrugs. He looks exhausted now, with the adrenaline worn off, and his hands are shaking a little. Frank claps him on the shoulder with a little more force than strictly necessary and steers him away from the computers.

"Get on, now."

#asks #arkhamverse #scaryverse #the squad #mark does not get a full hug because mark bites #literally he is a not a huggy person and you might get chomped #probably not but the risk is not zero