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santabound-blog · 12 years

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[Fanfic] Kiss Me, Rose/Kanaya + Jade/Feferi

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TO: puddleofbodka FROM: jabberwockyx

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Title: Kiss Me

Pairing: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Jade Harley/Feferi Peixes

Rating: PG/PG-13

Summary: Rose and Kanaya invite Jade and Feferi, who are excited beyond belief at the prospect of a white Christmas, to spend the holidays with them. Fluff ensues.

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Jade had never truly experienced snow before. Well, barring her time in the Land of Frost and Frogs, where she had been introduced to the mysterious cold substance, but the snow had only lasted a matter of hours, melting as soon as she stoked the forge and heated up her planet. Upon beating Sburb, she returned to her island home and, well, that was the end of snow for her. She didn’t mind though, as she had missed her little isle, and besides, she wasn’t so lonely anymore now that she had company.

With Alternia long since destroyed by Sgrub, Feferi was homeless and unwilling to follow in her ancestor’s footsteps, so she gladly came to live with Jade, enjoying the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean. She had even gotten accustomed to sleeping in a human bed, limbs entwined with Jade’s and silky black hair fanning out across the soft white sheets. She didn’t really mind the troubling dreams that came with the lack of sopor slime – she was actually rather fond of the horrorterrors, having lived with an emissary to them for her entire life prior to the Vast Glub.

Jade, on the other hand, was less fortunate. Even now, years after Sburb, she was still plagued by recurring nightmares of horrorterrors and missed the familiar golden architecture of her dream home on Prospit. But Feferi was always there, and when she woke up crying in the middle of the night, she would hug her close and sleepily whisper soothing words of comfort into her ear until Jade finally fell back into a more peaceful sleep, safe and warm in Feferi’s arms. On mornings when she woke up cranky and sullen after a long night of fitful sleep, Feferi would kiss her in all of her most ticklish areas until she reluctantly giggled and kissed her back.

The two of them were happy, living together on their own little island, and both of them were used to relative seclusion from the world around them. Jade had, after all, lived alone on the island with only a dog for company for most of her life. Feferi was separated from her landwelling friends by the ocean, and she wasn’t friends with most of the seadwellers, with the exception of her ex-moirail, Eridan. The majority of seadwellers were either intimidated by her unique tyrian blood or rejected her because there was always the ever-looming possibility of her culling their lusii to feed Gl’bgolyb. She had learned to shrug it off, instead pursuing her passion of caring for aquatic wildlife and fostering friendships with the landwellers via Trollian.

But even with their happiness together, there were still times when they intensely missed their friends and craved physical contact with them. Pesterchum and Trollian only went so far and while they did have visitors every now and then, not many people wanted to or were able to make the voyage out to their tiny remote island.

So when Rose and Kanaya sent them a formal invite to spend the holidays, they accepted in a heartbeat.

——————————————

Rose and Kanaya were presently engaged in a discussion about how best to decorate the manor in anticipation of their visitors. They had never bothered to properly decorate before, as they preferred to keep their Christmases low-key. In past years, their celebrations were quiet affairs. They mostly stayed in, curling up next to each other by the hearth and reading dark and sensuous tales of eldritch horrors and daywalkers before exchanging gifts by the fireplace.

Now that they were going to be entertaining guests, however, they were determined to show Jade and Feferi just what a proper Christmas looked like, and that meant pulling out all the stops. Unfortunately, both of them were headstrong individuals with very opinionated ideas about what appropriate holiday decorating entailed. Rose was determined to recreate her mother’s predictable over-the-top style of decking the halls with boughs of holly. She always knew when the first day of December rolled around when she emerged from her bedroom to find red and green splashed everywhere and wreaths and garlands lining the hallways.

Rising to the bait for passive-aggressive one-upmanship, Rose would then go foraging for pinecones and sprigs of greenery to laboriously make her own homemade wreaths and present them to her mother in a sincere fashion. In return, her mother would exclaim over them and spend a couple thousand dollars to have solid gold, ornate hooks installed, where she hung the wreaths and kept them there until well past Christmas.

Kanaya, on the other hand, had other ideas on the subject. With the critical eye of a fashion designer, she surveyed the mound of Christmas decorations that Rose had dug out from storage. “If it’s not too impertinent for me to say so, I must state that I find this choice of decorative schemes to be excessively stupid. I do not see how these colors are supposed to be festive. Also I believe that red and green look tacky when paired together.”

“Your alien and uncultured opinion notwithstanding, red and green are traditionally the colors associated with Christmas, Kanaya.”

Kanaya sniffed. “I would rather prefer to outfit the manor in bright, gay colors more suited to the festive atmosphere of the holiday season. In fact, I have some fabric that I have been saving for just this occasion, and I think it would look fabulous draped over the banister.”

Rose allowed a smirk to play across her lips and, unable to resist the temptation, said, “There is already enough ‘gay’ in this household, Kanaya.”

Her clever quip was met by a blank and uncomprehending stare. “What?”

“Never mind,” Rose said, waving the words away. “It’s simply another cultural miscommunication fostered by linguistic and societal differences. I’m sure your fabric is as lovely as always, but I fail to see how it will contribute to an appropriately festive atmosphere, seeing as how it has little to no relevance with the holiday in question.”

It was a stand-off, with each of them refusing to back down, staring at each other in determination. Finally, Rose sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It appears that this conversation is going nowhere. I propose a compromise, in which we reject both of our ideals.” She knelt on the floor, digging through the plastic garbage bags until she produced a long, white garland laced with small, shiny flecks of silver. “How about something suitably wintry? A winter wonderland, if you will.”

Kanaya smiled, her fangs gleaming. “Yes, I believe this sounds like a most satisfactory conciliation and a more aesthetically pleasing design overall.”

Having reached an agreement, they threw themselves headlong into their work, going all-out to transform their spacious manor into a glamorous, icy palace bedecked in white and silver. While Rose was occupied with hanging up the crystal icicle lights, Kanaya began sorting through one of the boxes and unearthed a sprig of what was unmistakably mistletoe. As someone who was well-versed in the various types of flora, Kanaya recognized it instantly, but she was surprised to find that humans apparently had the same plant on their planet as well.

She cleared her throat, and Rose gave her a quizzical look as she climbed down from the stepladder to survey her handiwork. “Rose,” Kanaya began formally, “I understand that human Christmas traditions are assuredly different from those of our 12th Perigee’s, but I would like to introduce you to a unique troll custom involving this mystical plant and its significance in regards to matespritship—”

“You’re rambling again, Kanaya.” Rose cut her off with a kiss, dipping her at the waist to more easily reach her lips due to the dramatic height difference.

A slight jade-green flush tinted Kanaya’s cheeks when Rose finally came up for air, the blush shining through the brightness of her rainbow drinker radiance. “Oh,” was all she could come up with, startled into silence by the pleasant surprise. “I suppose humans do share that practice with us after all.”

“Mistletoe is a universal constant,” Rose said, giving her one last quick peck before releasing her and turning back to the decorations.

Still a little flustered and giddy from the kiss, Kanaya self-consciously touched her hair, smoothing it back into place. “When do we forage for our behemoth leaving?” she asked.

“Well, it may come as a surprise to you that behemoths are not native to this planet, nor are their… leavings.”

“Oh,” Kanaya said, a little disappointed. “What do you decorate and place presents under, then?”

“Traditionally? A pine tree. But yet, in spite of the fact that our home is surrounded by vast quantities of the aforementioned trees, my mother insisted on buying the most elaborate and gargantuan artificial tree she could find. And while I secretly always longed for a true pine tree, I must grudgingly admit that our fake tree is quite pretty. Speaking of which, I suppose I might as well set it up now. Kanaya, if you could work on adorning the banister with that garland in the meantime?”

Kanaya nodded and picked up the fluffy white garland, admiring its beauty.

Ten minutes later, Rose was beginning to regret her insistence on setting up the twelve-foot tall tree by herself. It was bulky and unwieldy, and her slight stature was not up to the task. She let out an unladylike grunt as she stretched as high as she could reach and pushed the tree, trying to force it to stand upright. Her life flashed before her eyes as it wavered and fell back down on her, causing her to stagger beneath its weight. Her arms were full of branches and she couldn’t hold it up any longer.

Just as she was about to give up and collapse on the ground, she felt Kanaya’s body heat behind her.

Kanaya’s strong arms covered Rose’s, and she pressed up against her back as she pushed the tree to a standing position. Rose was suddenly grateful for Kanaya’s height.

Kanaya had always had a few inches on Rose, but as she matured, her already tall and slender frame slimmed further as she shot up to reach the six-foot-plus height shared by her ancestor. She developed modest curves of her own, her hips filling out to befit one raised by a Mother Grub. Jade-green blood gradually filled in her irises, and her horns lengthened, the tips ending in elegant, if razor-sharp, points.

Kanaya lingered where she was even after the tree had been secured, her hands shifting to settle on Rose’s waist. Rose smiled to herself and turned around in her grasp.

“Thank you,” she said simply and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Kanaya, wrapping her arms around her neck and losing herself in her warm embrace.

——————————————

To say that Jade and Feferi were excited would be the understatement of the century. Rose had sent a small jet to the coordinates of their island, and they couldn’t stop chattering away during the duration of the flight, amazed by the breathtaking view of the scenery from above. When they finally arrived at the east coast and emerged from the airport, Jade stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the sparkling drifts of pure white snow, arrested by its beauty. She wanted to plunge heedlessly into the snow, but Feferi had grabbed her hand and was pulling her towards the waiting taxi.

“Come on, Jade! We can look at the snow when we get to Rose’s and Kanaya’s hive!”

Jade shook her head slightly to reorient herself and beamed at Feferi. “Yeah, you’re right! Silly me.”

Feferi wrapped herself around Jade as soon as they got in the taxicab, either unaware of or indifferent to the driver’s odd expression. Jade wasn’t particularly well-versed in socially appropriate behavior herself, given her upbringing, so she didn’t even notice anything strange about the look the man was giving them when he glanced in his rearview mirror.

“I’m just so ex-CITED!” Feferi exclaimed, burying her nose into Jade’s soft hair.

Jade giggled, unable to stop grinning herself. “I know, I can’t wait to see Rose again! And Kanaya! It’s been so long!”

The ride to Rose’s manor was on the lengthy side, given that she lived in a relatively isolated, private area, but neither Jade nor Feferi minded, too swept away by the promise of seeing their best friends and their joy over the unfamiliar sight of snowy fields. When they arrived at long last, they had to wade through waist-deep snow to reach the front door. Feferi was over the moon. “It’s like frozen water! This is so much FUN!”

Jade rolled her eyes and playfully nudged Feferi. “That’s because it IS frozen water, you silly goose!” She rang the doorbell and bounced on the balls of her feet, giddy with anticipation.

Rose answered the door, but before she had so much as opened her mouth to greet her guests, Jade was hugging her tightly. “Hi, Merry Christmas, Rose!” Jade said, the words tumbling out of her mouth in one big jumble.

“Hello, thanks, and you too,” Rose replied, returning the hug after a moment’s pause to collect her composure.

Feferi jostled past the two humans, her face lighting up at the sight of Kanaya lingering just behind Rose.

“Kanaya, HI!” Feferi squealed, flinging her arms around the other troll, who accepted her exuberance and offered a much more restrained hug in return. “Glub glub glub glub!”

“Hello, Feferi,” Kanaya replied. “It’s been a while. You seem more excited than usual. I think, I can’t really tell with the glubbing.”

“Of COURSE I’m more excited than usual, dummy! I’m here with you!”

“Is this the part when we do the thing where we bounce up and down together and squeal like shrill little oinkbeasts?” Kanaya said drolly.

“Yes!”

Kanaya dutifully humored her whims, allowing Feferi to grab her hands and jump up and down. Rose was trying to hide a smile behind her hand when she felt something splash on her foot. She glanced down in alarm to realize that the wetness was stemming from the fact that both Jade and Feferi were dripping with melting snow. Peering out of the front door, she could see the path that Jade and Feferi had carved through the snow.

“I can’t believe I remembered everything except for shoveling the path to the front door,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Huh? What was that, Rose? I didn’t catch what you said,” Jade asked, glancing at her with an apologetic expression on her face.

“Nothing,” Rose said. “Sorry, it snowed overnight, and it didn’t occur to me that it would be prudent to clear the walkway of snow for your arrival. Hence the fact that you’re both wet and most likely freezing as well.”

“Oh, that’s okay, we didn’t mind!” Jade reassured her. “We wore warm clothes like you said, and we brought extras, so we’re fine, don’t worry.”

“And besides, I’m a seadweller, I’m used to being wet, duh!” Feferi added.

Rose still frowned, her brow knitting together. “Nevertheless, it doesn’t make me a very hospitable host. If you go get changed, you can at least warm up by the fire while Kanaya and I finish with the cookies.”

Jade’s ears perked up at that. “Did you just say… cookies?”

“Yes. Yes, I did. Sorry, we didn’t get around to finishing all of the holiday preparations before you arrived. We got a little… sidetracked, if you will.”

“I bet I know how!” Jade said, nudging Rose in the side and giving her a blatantly roguish wink.

“Oh, you do, do you? And how, pray tell, is that?” Jade opened her mouth to answer, but Rose stopped her before she could say anything. “Actually, I take that back, I don’t want to know what perverse imaginings you have about any shenanigans that Kanaya and I may or may not get up to.”

Jade laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’m just teasing! No, but seriously, can we help?” she asked eagerly, with Feferi nodding fervently by her side. They were already digging through their duffel bags for a change of clothes and stripping from the waist down in the middle of the living room. There wasn’t much of a need for privacy on their remote island, and neither one of them was particularly shy when it came to revealing their bodies.

Rose swiftly averted her eyes. “Jade, I know that due to being raised by a dog over on Hellmurder Island, you don’t have much experience with the concept of socially acceptable behavior, but I can tell you that it is generally considered inappropriate to disrobe in the middle of polite company.”

Jade looked down at her Squiddle-printed underwear then back up at her. “Oh, don’t be such a prude, Rose! And you’re not polite company – you’re being kind of snarky right now, honestly!” she said, tugging on a pair of long johns.

“I am not a prude—”

“No, I can affirm that she is not, at least within the confines of the respiteblock walls,” Kanaya added, and there was a devilish smirk on her face that made Rose shoot her a look.

“Oh, who cares!” Jade said as she pulled on a fresh pair of thick leggings and fuzzy socks. “We’re all friends here, and it’s not like it’s nothing we’ve all seen before!” She zipped up her skirt and rounded on Rose. “But you didn’t answer my question!”

“Yeah, we want to help make cookies!” Feferi chimed in while she finished getting redressed as well.

“I can’t imagine why you would want to do something so tedious, but if you insist, you certainly are welcome to.”

“Oh, but it’s fun!” Jade said in earnest as they followed Rose into the kitchen. “What kind of cookies are we making?”

“Well, we made gingersnaps earlier, and the first batch of sugar cookies came out of the oven just before you arrived.” Rose nodded at the cooling rack where the cut-out cookies were resting. “I suppose we can finish the rest of the shapes now and work on decorating these while the next batch is baking.”

Jade and Feferi held much more enthusiasm for the art of baking cookies than Rose did, and they gleefully used the dough to create a Pisces symbol and a dog’s head reminiscent of Becquerel’s to go along with the cookie cutter shapes. They spread out the decorating materials on the kitchen table and used the colored icing, melted chocolate, and sprinkles to decorate their cookies. Rose put aside her disdain for culinary matters long enough to create a reindeer of the darkest persuasions, with demonic red eyes and a satirical name written on its flank in the eldritch tongues, as befitting the zoologically dubious.

While Jade worked on decorating a Christmas tree, Feferi plucked a star-shaped cookie from the pile and used icing to reinvent it as a starfish. She scooted over to Kanaya’s side and rested her chin on her shoulder to survey the other troll’s cookie. Kanaya had chosen a cut-out that was intended to resemble Santa Claus’s boot but instead transformed it into a fashion statement, adorning it with crystal sprinkles and carefully piped details. Feferi wrinkled her nose and, with her customary frankness, remarked, “I don’t know, I think mine looks better!”

“Yes, your human artifact of confection is vastly superior to mine,” Kanaya replied dryly. “The aquatic life form is truly much more fascinating than the unique and elegant vagaries of fashion.”

“It’s still just as delicious though, I’m sure!” Jade said cheerfully, putting the finishing touches on her Christmas tree.

Feferi wasn’t listening anymore, however, distracted by the view outside. “Oh my cod, Jade, look!” she said, tugging on her partner’s sleeve in undisguised excitement and pointing out the kitchen window.

“Ooooh!” Jade said keenly, her eyes widening behind her glasses as she looked at the snow sculptures that Feferi had noticed. “Rose, I love your snowcat!”

“I never said that I was the one who made it, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.”

"But you did make it, right?" Jade persisted. "That, and the, err... tentacle thing!"

"Nrub'Yiglith, the eldritch horror known as the Shamebeast King of Grotesquery and Writhe-Lord of the Moist Beyondhood."

"Uh-huh, and Kanaya made the Mother Grub — is that your virgin Mother Grub, Kanaya?"

Kanaya smiled at her. "You remembered. Yes, that was intended to be a representation of my lusus, although I regret that I couldn't capture her great size and elegance through such a crude material."

"Well, I think she looks pretty! And you probably made that ball thing with the icicles sticking out of it too, right? Umm, I don't really know what it is, though..."

"The Matriob."

"Yeah, whatever that thing is!"

"A very accurate summation of our snow sculpting exploits. I'm impressed at your ability to discern whose creation belongs to who."

Jade grinned and shrugged. "It's not that hard, really!"

Feferi piped up, her eyes shining in excitement. "I want to make a snowlusus too! Oh, Rose, Kanaya, can we?"

"I think I'd prefer to stay inside, given the subzero temperature, but I can't very well say no when you're giving me that look," Rose said, her resolve weakening at Feferi's puppy-dog eyes. "Tell you what: you and Jade are more than welcome to go play outside. Kanaya and I will prepare some hot cocoa for when you return."

"Yay! Oh, Rose, that sounds like such an awesome idea!" Jade said, giving her a quick hug before dashing off after Feferi to put on her jacket and boots.

They charged into the backyard with wild abandon, throwing themselves into the soft drifts of snow. Feferi pounced on Jade and started gushing immediately.

"Jade! What should we do first? I want to make a snowlusus of Gl'bgolyb, and romp in the snow, and Karcrabby was telling me about some violent Earth ritual called a snowball fight, which sounds so exciting— "

"I know what I want to do first," Jade interrupted, a sly smile forming on her lips.

"Ooh, what?"

Jade paused for dramatic effect before announcing, "Tickle fight!" She attacked Feferi's sides, tickling every inch she could reach.

Feferi shrieked with laughter and tried to wriggle away from Jade's relentless tickling. "Stop, stop!" she gasped, breathless from laughing too hard. Jade showed mercy on her and eased up, flopping onto her back and laughing herself.

Laying in the snow with her arms spread wide, an idea came to her, and she turned her head to face Feferi. "Hey, I have an idea!"

"Glub glub?"

"Let's make snow angels!"

Feferi gave her a quizzical look. "What are those?"

"Like this!" Jade said, rapidly moving her arms and legs up and down.

Feferi's eyes lit up in recognition and mimicked Jade's actions. "Ohhhhh, I know what you mean! When I was a wiggler, I used to love doing that in the sand on the beach, only I liked to pretend that I was a starfish, not one of your angels. And to be honest, I don't know how it's supposed to look like an angel!"

Jade climbed to her feet, shaking the snow out of her hair and examining her snow angel. "See, those are the wings, and that's the head, and that—" she crouched down and used her finger to draw a circle above the indentation of her head "—is the halo!"

Feferi tried to stand up without wrecking her snow angel and stumbled into Jade, who caught her. "Oops!" she laughed, then regained some seriousness as she rested her chin on her hand and contemplated her snow angel. "Hmm... yeah, I guess I can see it," she admitted.

"Told you!" Jade said, sticking her tongue out in a display of amazing maturity. Feferi pulled a face at her in return, and Jade giggled and reached out to hold her hand. She looked up at the sky, still amazed that this was actually happening to her.

"I can't believe I'm finally getting a white Christmas," she murmured. "I've always wanted snow, for as long as I can remember. The only problem is, it's so cold!" She shivered involuntarily and let go of Feferi's hand to hug herself. "I wish I didn't leave my scarf inside..."

“Hang on…” Feferi said, fumbling to unwind her pink and green striped scarf. She hugged Jade tight against her and wrapped the scarf around both of them. “There!” she said in satisfaction. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Jade breathed, frost curling out of her mouth, and Feferi was acutely aware of the minimal distance between their faces. She was quiet, taking the opportunity to drink in the vision of her companion. Jade’s cheeks were flushed bright red, a combination of the cold and sheer, unbridled joy. White powder dusted her thick, dark eyelashes, remnants from her roll in the snow.

Feferi opened her mouth to tell Jade how beautiful she was, but she was momentarily distracted by the sight of snowflakes drifting downward, catching in Jade’s hair, where every crystal stood out in sharp contrast amidst the black canvas. Feferi tipped her head back to watch the snowfall, thick, dense snowflakes floating through the air in an almost dreamlike state.

“Jade…” she said. “Look.”

Jade glanced up at the sky, and Feferi could hear her breath catch in her chest. They stood there in silence for a few moments, awestruck and mesmerized, before looking back down at each other and grinning in shared understanding.

Jade laughed in delight and threw her arms around Feferi. “Kiss me, it’s beginning to snow.”

Feferi giggled and nuzzled her nose before obliging, capturing her lips in a soft, sweet kiss.

Rose smiled as she watched Jade and Feferi from the upstairs panoramic window, her hands curled around a mug of hot chai tea that Kanaya had prepared for her. She had already had enough snow for the day, after the hassle of putting up the Christmas lights on the house. She was happy to stay inside on this cold winter day, cozy in the loose purple jumper she had knitted and warm by the glow of the fireplace.

“They’re a cute couple,” she murmured aloud as Kanaya approached her from behind, having returned from the kitchen with a green tea of her own.

“Mmm,” Kanaya hummed in agreement, placing her teacup down on one of the hallway’s ornate tables. Rose smiled as she felt Kanaya’s arms circle around her, and she leaned back into her touch.

“Merry Christmas, Rose,” Kanaya said, smiling into Rose’s soft, flaxen blond hair.

“And a happy Twelfth to you, my dearest Kanaya.” Rose turned her head just enough so that she could kiss Kanaya, her lips lingering just a few moments too long, and she emitted a sigh of contentment, safe and sound in her lover’s embrace.

#jabberwockyx #puddleofbodka #homestuck #rose lalonde #kanaya #kanaya maryam #jade harley #feferi #feferi peixes

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santabound-blog · 12 years

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[Fanfic] Ships That Rarely Sail, Bro/Dad + Equius/Gamzee [NSFW] + Jane/Roxy

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TO: jabberwockyx FROM: wanderinginrubyslippers

╚════ ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ) ═╝

Ships that Rarely Sail:

A Santabound Adventure in Three Parts

Part 1: Bro/Dad

You know that you were never what he wanted. And, if you’re being honest, he’s never what you wanted either.

You don’t really remember dying. You remember helping your lil’ bro, remember the feeling of failure when it became clear you would never win, and you remember waking up back in Huston.

Being dead was not as bad as you expected. The land of Heat and Clockwork was nice, but it felt too much like Dave. You were never really supposed to go with him. Unfortunately, brotherly love is never ironic, not even to the most subtle degree, and you followed.

Your room is just how you remember, smuppets and all. It’s nice, to be surrounded by familiarity once again. You tell yourself you want for nothing, not even the reassuring presence of Lil’ Cal. It is not until he arrives that you let yourself realize how lonely you were.

He’s tall and wears a hat and tie. A typical businessman. You find yourself drawn to him. You wonder if it’s his striking blue eyes, how he reminds you of the father you never had, or that he is simply another human being and it has been so long.

He tells you that he’s looking for someone, a woman. Though she sounds vaguely familiar you haven’t seen a blonde in a pink scarf. At least, not in this lifetime. He is disappointed; you can see it in those beautiful blue eyes, but he does not make much of it. Instead, he shrugs and asks you if you would like some cake.

It comes from his wallet fetch modus and you can’t but laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is. You ask what kind of idiot would captchalogue an entire cake? He does not blush, doesn’t even flinch, and tells you that he simply likes to bake. There is no hint of irony in his words, something you would mock if you weren’t so busy stuffing your face. It’s his turn to laugh, and you thank the horrorterrors that your rad shades hide the majority of your blush. It takes you too long to come up with an awesome comeback; you’re out of practice. But before you need to, he tells you that he understands. After all, he’s dead too.

You aren’t sure how much time has passed, time is different in the dream bubbles. You just know that it is long enough to go from cake, to kisses, to more.

You’re not what he wanted, you know this, but in the dead light of the dead dream nothing matters. Kisses and touches stave off the loneliness. Sometimes, after you’re finished, he strokes your hair and tells you that he loves you. It is as close to happiness as you can get after death and you tell him you love him back. Besides, in the dark he can pretend that your hair is longer and you can pretend that the bottles of shaving cream next to the bed are pistols.

When she comes you’re sure you’re dying again. She sways in to your dream bubble his eyes light up and he looks at her in a way he never looked at you. You suspect the swish of her hips and unsteady gait are side effects of the martini in her hand, but it is not your place to say.

He leaves with her, as you knew he would. And you don’t blame him, not really. You would have done the same. But once he is gone, you resent him. Resent him for reminding you of your loneliness, of good food, of companionship, and for taking it all away.

But now when you close your eyes it’s not always pistols and glasses. Sometimes you see a tie, a hat, and blue eyes the crinkle around the edges when he smiles. It’s harder now that he’s gone. Being dead is hard, and he was the only one who understood.

Part 2: Equius/Gamzee

(NSFW)

To be without your moirail on 12th Perigees Eve is an evil affliction. In fact, companionship on such piteous holidays was one of the more beneficial perks of filling the pale quadrant. When you’re lucky enough to be palemates for life with the queen of the shippers, you would expect she would be aware of such important moirail duties.

Unfortunately, a misplaced word by a certain Karkat Vantas about the insufferably well-mannered Aradia Megido’s lowblood, holiday party had led Nepeta to believe, rightfully, that she was invited. In fact, she had been so excited about attending she disobeyed your direct orders to celebrate with you, even after you promised to role play for a bit in the spirit of the season. Such blatant disregard for social order, you were getting sweaty just thinking about it.

You had, of course, been invited to a corresponding party at the hive of Eridan Ampora. This was equally inappropriate. Seadwellers should not mingle with the landdwellers so willingly. Also, Vriska told you that no one was planning on going and you were not willing to shoosh pap someone with gills. Well, you weren’t willing to shoosh pap anyone at all. Nepeta generally handled that sort of thing.

Your name is Equius Zahhak and your are alone on 12th Perigees Eve. This is the first holiday you’d spent alone in sweeps, and you aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself. Neither is Aurthour. Your lusus had long ago fallen out of the habit of decorating the hive and collecting a behemoth leaving. You had to remind him that STRONG trolls need their equally STRONG lusus to find the largest behemoth leaving and bring it back to the hive. It is the traditional thing to do.

This is why, when there was a sharp rap on the hive door you assumed Aurthour was back with a leaving so large that he needed a little horsepower to help it through the door.

“Stand back Aurthour,” you say, nearly ripping the door off its hinges, “let me…”

It is not your bruise-covered butler of a lusus.

“Piteous 12th Perigee’s Eve my brother.”

“H-highblood! What are you doing here?”

Gamzee cocks his head, his lips stretching into a wide, sopor-induced grin.

“You aren’t going to leave a motherfucker outside, are you?”

There is a highblood on your doorstep. There is a highblood on your doorstep and you are being rude.

“Come in!” You stammer, actually removing the door from its hinges this time, “What I mean is, come in, please? I do not mean to saddle you with any unnecessary orders. In fact, it is you who should be reining me in. It is your blood right, after all.”

Gamzee slips past, his shoulder brushing against yours. You look around for Authour, ready as always with a towel in hand. Upon remembering that your lusus was out at your request, you silently curse yourself and resign to soaking through your clothes.

In the time it takes you to move the door awkwardly in front of its opening, wipe the sweat off your face using your hand, and wipe the sweat from your hand on to your already damp shirt, Gamzee has thrown himself haphazardly on to your couch. It is unseemly, really, as his shirt rides up slightly exposing a tantalizingly tasteless strip of flesh across his waist. You wrack your brain for the proper way to handle a disheveled highblood in your hive and find that there is no set of behavioral rules for this scenario. You will just have to pony up and handle it in the best way possible.

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” You start, strategically placing yourself to block as much of your musclebeast art as possible. Some trolls (ie: everyone) did not share the same appreciation for the rippling hoofbeasts as you did. “I just want to know why you’re here.”

Gamzee scratches his head, the movement causing his shirt to ride up further. You, of course, are too refined to notice.

“You’re having a Perigees party, my brother. Don’t tell me you forgot.” He smiles and gives you a wink, the former makes you sweat in places too lewd to mention. “Have you been dipping in to the slime?”

“I would never partake in brain-melting filth such as that!” You say before you can stop yourself. You wait for Gamzee to discipline you for such frank talk. You deserve it for speaking so loosely in front of your betters. In fact, a part of you craves it, but he just laughs.

“All right, motherfucker, all right. I was mostly joking. Though I do have to tell you that a slice of pie can make you feel pretty great. Miraculous even.” He pauses and stares right at you. “Motherfucker, I bet it would even make you smile.”

You do not smile when he says thisInstead, you find yourself frowning with embarrassment. It is beneath the highblood to worry about whether or not you smile. Really, it is beneath the highblood to think anything about you at all. Yet, here he is, sprawled in your hive.

“Well,” he continues, examining the broken arm of a robot left next to the couch after a sparring session, twirling it slowly between long, limber fingers. “I hate to break it to you, man, but your party fuckin’ sucks. Not that a little one-on-one time isn’t sweet but parties should be filled the fuck up with brothers and sisters. Dancing and drinking and making memories, you know? But here we are, and you don’t even have a bottle of faygo.”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose.

“I am not having the party. Mr. Ampora was in charge of all the memory making tonight.”

“Aw, fuck man,” Gamzee says, straightening up a little. His shirt finally does its job and covers all of him. You feel disappointed but it’s probably due to the unsavory language that rushes unbridled from his impish lips. “I did it again. It’s fuckin’ crazy how much royal blue can look like plum sometimes. What a crazy mystery of the universe. But it’s cool bro, life is like that sometimes.”

“Just the same,” You say, while you wonder how in gog’s name blue could look like plum, “I regret to inform you that I have nothing to entertain you with. My hive is also unsuitably ornamented for such a festive occasion.”

“No worries, my brother,” He replies. It is not the reply you want, of course, but Gamzee never does what you want. “I’m easy to please.”

He drops the robotic arm and sends another languid smile your way. You imagine that less self-restrained trolls (Eridan Ampora) would have taken that smile as an invitation. Not you. Your feelings are stable. Very stable. You know that the smile is just a smile and that comment was not a prelude to horsing around.

You clear your throat, “If you say so.”

There is an awkward pause. Awkward because you have no idea how to behave in this situation and Gamzee seems oblivious. He just sits there, smiling through the make-up, completely at ease.

“You aren’t going to stand there the whole time, are you motherfucker? Come and sit you fine, strong, ass down over here by me. We’ll have a little feelings jam.”

He laughs when he sees your hesitation. A vaguely honking sound that vibrates deep in his throat.

“Nah, my brother, don’t worry about that. Nothing to make your little kitty jealous. I have my best motherfucking friend to worry about too, and I would never do anything to upset him. I just want a friendly little jam between bros. Now stop standing there and get over here.”

There it is, another direct order. It’s improprietous, of course, to treat someone of your status as an equal. Yet he commanded and who are you to deny him?

You lower yourself next to him. Not too closely, of course. You’re pressing so hard into the arm of the sofa that you can feel it strain beneath you. Gamzee watches with amusement apparent on his face.

“Calm the fuck down, motherfucker, I’m not going to bite you.” You almost swear his smile says otherwise. “Since I’m here, I thought I might as well give you your present. It’s miraculous how things work out.”

You pale. Even as he hands you the wrapped package, suspiciously horn shaped and blue to match your blood color, a nice touch really, you know you cannot accept it.

“Highblood, I’m sorry but I have nothing for you in return. I can’t take that from you.”

Gamzee’s eyes flicker to yours and he smiles again, dangerously.

“Take it.”

Another command. You’re sweating hard as you let him place the offending gift in your hand. His fingers linger much longer than appropriate and he pulls them back slowly, tracing the veins in your wrist. There is an uncomfortable tightness in you pants.

“Don’t be nervous, my brother,” Gamzee whispers, his eyes twinkling. You find yourself enraptured despite both the lascivious nature of the situation and the garish make-up that mars his face.

“I’m not nervous,” You shoot back, though you are actually extremely nervous.

“Motherfucker,” he whispers scooting closer, “you can’t hide from me. You’re sweating more than usual.” He lifts his fingers to his mouth and flicks out his tongue, tasting your sweat. “Not as delectable as faygo but pretty fuckin’ good.”

“Highblood,” you start, fully intending to stop this.

“Where’s my motherfucking present?” He asks, his hand moving slowly to your thigh.

You know that he knows very well that there is no present. You know what he is really asking for but you are too afraid to make assumptions. It is not your place to be forward.

“I’m sorry, highblood,” you repeat, “I do not have anything to give you in return.”

He laughs again, but this time he does not throw back his head. The semblance of a honk is still present, but the sound is deeper, grainier. Though he has just placed the gift in your hands he takes it back and sets it on the table. His hands, however, remain where the gift used to sit. You can almost hear Gamzee making terrible package puns but, thankfully, his mouth is otherwise occupied.

His tongue is flicking along your ear. Your bulge is straining at your seams but you cannot move. It is still too forward.

“You know what I want, motherfucker.”

His hand has moved from the relative safety of your wrist to your bulge. He strokes, up and down, teasing you. Begging you to beg him. You won’t. Your STRONG will does not stop a strangled, whisper of a moan from escaping your lips.

“That’s right, motherfucker,” Gamzee growls into your ear, “Tell a brother what you want.”

One hand works its way under your shirt, fingers ghosting along your abs, leaving goose bumps in its wake. The other hand travels down the front of your shorts and it finds the exposed skin of your bulge all too quickly. Your eyes drop closed out of pleasure and shame.

“Mmm, motherfucker, that is one hardcore bulge you have here. Motherfucking miraculous.”

He strokes lightly, chortling lightly while another moan finds its way into his ear. The strokes increase in pressure and speed. A few drops of genetic material leak out into his palm. It takes all your strength not to buck into it, writhing like a lowblood.

“You know, my brother,” he coos, “This was supposed to be my Perigees pity-present.”

“I-I’m sorry h-highblood,” you whimper, “What would you like me to do?”

“That’s what you like, isn’t it?” He asks, stroking your bulge with each word, “Being told what to motherfucking do. Is that what you want?”

“Ah-ah, yes!” You whine, allowing yourself a small thrust.

He cups your bulge and pinches a nipple.

“Ask me to tell me what to do.”

“Please! Please tell me what to do! Tell me what you want.”

There is no way you can control yourself. Not when he has given you a direct order. But now the boundaries are clear, he is the highblood and you are just some lowly, filthy land-dweller. A land-dweller who will do whatever he commands you to.

Gamzee’s ministrations stop abruptly and your eyes snap open, dark and lusty now that the pleasure has stopped. Gamzee is unzipping those hideous polka-dot pants and pulling out his own bulge. He strokes is, slowly, and you know you should look away. But your eyes focus on the head that is rapidly turning a deep indigo.

“Motherfucker,” he draws out each word, voice heavy with lust. “I. Want. You. To. Motherfucking. Suck Me.”

It is a fowl command, but he does not need to tell you twice. You lower yourself to the floor in front of him and take the tip of his bulge in your mouth. A sound between a hiss and a purr escapes his lips and you know you are doing something right. Slowly, you lick the head and move your mouth up the shaft. His taste fills your mouth, sharp but somehow sweet. Reminiscent, you’re sure, of the faygo he downs religiously. It is not all-together unpleasant.

“More,” he moans.

You take the rest of the shaft in your mouth. You sit for a moment, letting the full wait of his motherfucking miracle settle in his mouth. Then you start slowly, sucking from base to tip, letting the purrs and moans fuel you. When you feel the highblood is getting too comfortable you increase your speed. Bobbing and sucking like your life depends on it. Gamzee thrusts into you, a word that could be your name but could also be another motherfucker falls from his lips. Whatever it is, it encourages you.

You continue your ministrations, but it becomes too much for you. You are shifting uncomfortably against your own pants.

“Touch… yourself,” Gamzee gasps, “You… want to. Do… it. Pleasure…augh… yourself.”

Your hand finds your bulge and you begin to stroke. With every suck of his bulge your touch your own, imagining the feel of the forbidden highblood hand upon you.

“I’m, going to motherfucking… cum.” Gamzee moans.

He does just that, genetic material filling your mouth. Your own material spills on to your hand. You have never felt more relaxed, dirtier, or sweatier than you do at this moment.

Swallowing slowly you wipe your mouth and pull back, cheeks flushed a deep blue.

Gamzee looks down at you with hooded eyes.

“I do hope that was an adequate present for you, highblood,” You stammer.

“Motherfucking miraculous, my brother.”

Gamzee smiles, and zips his pants back up.

“Can I tell you something, bro, something that might make you mad?”

You nod, suddenly nervous. You’ve done something wrong. You took too many liberties with the highblood.

“I knew the party was at Eridan’s hive,” he smirks, “I’m not a motherfucking idiot, I just enjoy my slime.”

“Then why did you come here?” You ask.

He leans forward, cupping your chin. After licking a fleck of his own genetic material from the corner of your mouth he whispers, “This is what I wanted for Pergiee’s Eve, my brother.”

When he kisses you, you do not question it. Who are you to deprive the highblood on the most piteous of holidays?

Part 3: Jane/Lalonde

For Christmas, this year, your mom gave you a bottle of vodka. A lesser girl would take one look at the over-decorated Christmas tree, the plethora of dancing Santas, and copious amounts of mistletoe and assume your mom adored Christmas. You knew better. She did it to mock your own love of the holidays. But it did not stop you from trying to spread the holiday cheer.

You gave her a scarf you knitted. It was purple with black squiddles. You worked on it for a month, and though some of the squiddles looked more like disfigured clouds, it was your best attempt. You hoped your mother would be proud. She took one look at it and told you that she could have made a better one herself. She would, of course, wear it anyway; it’s the thought that counts. You forced a smile and thanked her through your teeth.

That’s why you found yourself in front of your computer, your Christmas present now half empty. You deserved a real present. Something you actually wanted. And what you really wanted was a girly hangout (sloppy makeout) with your bffsy.

But, naturally, gutsyGumshoe is on idle chum. You forget sometimes that most families celebrate Christmas together. Her Dad probably showered her with Christmas cookies and detective novels. All in boxes much too large for the gift, her dad is a master prankster, after all.

You want to be happy for her, best friends should always delight in each other’s happiness. You are also quite sure that it will be impossible to appearify the beautiful, yet skeptical, Jane Crocker. But, as the now one-fourth bottle of vodka reminds you, it is Christmas. Christmas miracles do occasionally happen, when one really and truly believes. And after a certain blood-alcohol level you’ll truly believe in anything. An attempt at appearification followed by a friendly little chat with your best friend (one true love) would have been enough to make you forget about the hurtful words you mother said.

Speak of the Gl’bgolyb, there is a knocking at your door. Your mother, impeccably dressed and perfectly detached informs you that you forgot to open one of your Christmas presents. You pray to the horrorterrors that it is not more alcohol, you can’t remember your last two Christmases.

“Hey Ro-lal!”

Standing before you is the buck-toothed, four-eyed beauty you’re proud to call your bffsy.

“Janey!” You squeal in reply, leaping out of your chair and knocking over the last of your Christmas present. “I can’t believe you’re here! You’re actually here!”

The first hug is everything you ever imagined. You are all enthusiasm and drunken affection and she is soft skin and the smell of cookies. You mother raises an eyebrow and lets out a rare smile as she shuts the door. For the first time you thank your mother, albeit silently, wholeheartedly.

“It’s a fucking Christmas miracle! How the fuck did you even get here?” You ask, still holding the gutsiest of all gumshoes. It’s a bit too soon to let you.

She giggles, “My dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said tickets to New York to visit my bffsy forever.”

“He bought you tickets?”

“I think your mom helped,” she continues, “My dad couldn’t afford this all on his own.”

This is when you pull back from the hug.

“My mother actually gave me a Christmas present I wanted. My mother?” You ask, words slurring ever so slightly. From surprise, naturally. “Why would she do that?”

Jane flashes a bright smile, infinitely more beautiful than the blue emoticon you usually see. “She probably wanted you to have a merry Christmas.”

“The vodka was a decoy!” You squeal. The answer is so simple you throw your arms around Jane again. It’s Christmas, your best friend is here, and she is here solely to see you. You can hug her as often as you want.

“Erm, Ro-lal,” she whispers in your ear.

“Hmm?” You love how she says your nickname.

“We seem to be standing under the mistletoe.”

You pull back, slightly, and take in the pink blush that dusts her cheeks. A devilish smirk pulls at your lips and you send another silent thank you to your mom. She is one crafty bitch.

“I do believe,” Jane continues, nibbling ever so temptingly on her bottom lip, “that tradition dictates we kiss. And I am not one to disregard traditions. Especially when I am a guest in someone’s house. So, if you wouldn’t m-“

She tastes like chocolate cake and candy canes.

#jabberwockyx #wanderinginrubyslippers #homestuck #fanfiction #nsfw #Bro Strider #dad egbert #equius #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #gamzee #jane crocker #roxy lalonde

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santabound-blog · 12 years

Text

[Fanfic] Who Needs A Present, John/Karkat

╔═ (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ═╗

TO: Taimat FROM: longliveperuvia

╚════ ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ) ═╝

Who Needs A Present

“For the last time Dave, I am NOT a homosexual!” John Egbert shouted across the room at his best friend who was too busy laughing to take his comment seriously.

“So what you’re saying is that if the almighty Nick Cage himself walked in here and propositioned you, you would turn him down?” Dave asked with a smirk on his face. John stared speechless as he tried to decide how he really would react if is idol were to show such an interest in him. His sudden silence was all Dave needed to begin a whole new string of taunts.

“John and Nic Cagesittin in a tree…”

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Jade finished as she looked up from the intense game of slap jack she was playing with Rose and Kanaya.

“Jade you aren’t helping at all!” John said indignantly, sliding further into the sofa to hide the growing blush on his face.

In the kitchen, Karkat listened to the banter between his new human friends as he pulled another sopor slime pie out of the large thermal hull for Gamzee. He wasn’t really sure what the argument was about, all he knew was that it was upsetting John and he didn’t like that at all.

“ThAnKS A loTBeStMOtheRfuCKInGFrIeNDYoU Can NEVerHavEENouGH Of ThISstuFF Do THEyhAveaNYFUckinGFAYgo In ThErE DO they”

“GAMZEE YOU HAVE A BOTTLE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. WHY DON’T YOU USE YOUR GANDERBULBS FOR ONCE? I MEAN GOG!” Karkat snapped, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Just then Terezi walked in with a familiar grin.

“H3H3H3H3, K4RK4T DON’T Y3LL 4T G4MZ33 JUST B3C4US3 YOU C4N’T H4NDL3 Y0UR R3D R0M F33LINGS F0R 4 C3RT41N W1NDY 1ND1V1DU4L.”

“WHATEVER TEREZI, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR WORD HOLE.” He stalked into the hallway and ran into the very ‘windy individual’ that Terezi had been talking about.

“oh hey Karkat! I don’t know if you were listening but tomorrow is my birthday and I was wondering if you would come to the party?”

Karkat was so flustered from bumping into his “crush” or that he didn’t take as much care with his words as he should have.

“WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO GO TO SOME STUPID EARTH PARTY?! ESPECIALLY ONE FOR A FUCKASS LIKE YOU?” Too late he realized that his impulsiveness had gotten the best of him again. He watched helplessly as John’s face fell.

“oh, okay um you don’t have to go I just thought it would be nice if you came.” He turned and sulked back to sit on the couch beside Strider. Karkat could just make out Dave asking John what had gone wrong. He turned to lean against the wall as guilt hit him full force. How could he say something so stupid?And to John of all people. The look on his face stabbed Karkat harder than Jack Noir had ever done. He only ever wanted to see John smile. That goofy grin made Karkat’sblood pumper speed up until he thought it would burst out of his chest.

Suddenly Sollux came up to him. His best friend always seemed to show up right after he had done something particularly stupid.

“2o what diid you do thii2 tiime KK? John looked pretty up2et. II was under the iimpre22iion that you had some pretty pale feeling2 for hiim.”

“SO I SCREWED THINGS UP A LITTLE. TEREZI GOT INTO MY THINK PAN AND I MAYBE SAID SOME SHITTY THINGS TO HIM. I WOULDN’T MIND IF KANAYA CUT ME IN HALF WITH HER CHAINSAW RIGHT NOW. AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALTERNIA DO I DO FOR THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY OR WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS?”

“2eem2 liike you need two do 2ome extreme 2uckiing up two hiim. The party ii2 tomorrow niight 2o you 2hould briing a pre2ent. At lea2t that’2 what Kanaya 2aiid when we were all iinviited.” Great, Karkat thought to himself. He was supposed to bring a gift but what could he possibly get? And on such short notice at that. The only solution was to do some asking around. He was sure one of the other human kids would know. After all, birthday parties were one of their weird ass habits.

Karkatpeeked his head back around the corner into the large living room where his friends were gathered. Everyone was listening with rapt attention to Dave and Tavros having what had to be their fifth rap battle of the day. Everyone except for John who was still sulking in the corner.

“PSST! ROSE. HEY ROSE!” He attempted to catch her attention from across the room. Instead he succeeded in causing all 15 heads in the room to turn and stare at him, Dave stopping midsentence to do so.

“GO BACK TO YOUR BUSINESS ASSHATS I WAS ONLY TALKING TO LALONDE OVER THERE!” Rose, who had been laying with her head in Kanaya’s lap took his hint and got up to follow him into the kitchen.

“What do you need Karkat? This wouldn’t happen to be about John would it? Whatever you said has caused him to become quite downhearted.”

“NEVERMIND WHAT I SAID TO HIM. ALL I NEED IS YOUR HELP CHOOSING A PRESENT OR WHATEVER. I NEED TO GET HIM SOMETHING HE’LL LIKE, AND SINCE YOU’RE THE SEER OF LIGHT OR WHATEVER THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW WHAT I GET HIM! SO JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS SO I CAN MOVE ON.” Karkat was sure his logic was perfect, until Rose smirked at him and shook her head.

“Of course I can see the outcome of the situation but honestly where would the enjoyment in that come from? Karkat if you want John to be happy again, you need to get him a present to show him you care.” With that, she turned away and went back to Kanaya.

Karkat was at a loss. Something to show John he cared? But what? He had to think about what John liked. He knew about Nicolas Cage, and pranks, and some old guy named Sassacre, but he was pretty sure John already had everything that could possibly be related to those.

“How’s it going nu88y horns? I hear you’re having a bit of trou8le in paradise? “

“VRISKA IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING REMOTELY USEFUL THEN PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE I SHOVE ONE OF GAMZEE’S CLUBS DOWN YOUR EVER ANNOYING WORD HOLE UNTIL YOU CHOKE ON IT.”

“Gosh Karkat, If you’re going to 8e so rude then I won’t give you any help with your present pro8lem.” Karkat was tempted to let her walk away, if only so he didn’t have to listen to her snide comments, but he needed help from wherever he could get it.

“FINE THEN HARLOT, GIVE ME YOUR ADVICE OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU CAME HERE FOR.”

“Okay then Karkat, since you asked ever so nicely. I’ll tell you what I got for John. It was hard to come 8y 8ut he’s worth it.” Hearing Vriska talk about John with such affection wasn’t helping Karkat’s mood. He knew she liked Egbert, she had confessed to him the day they met, and it was a definite possibility that John liked her back. If Vriska could come out and say that she liked John then why couldn’t Karkat do the same? He knew why of course. It was because every time he saw John’s face or heard his laugh or watched him pull one of his stupid pranks, his reaction was always the same. He couldn’t look John in his gander bulbs, couldn’t even speak he was so nervous.

“And so, 8ecause I care a8out w88888888y more than you do, my present will 8e a thousand times 8etter than whatever you couldget.” Karkat had been so consumed in his thoughts that he completely missed what Vriska had gotten John. It didn’t matter though, he knew what he was going to give John for his birthday, he just hoped his friend liked it.

Karkat woke up when he felt the afternoon sun streaming through the windows of his room. He groggily climbed out of his recuperacoon and dragged himself to the ablution trap to get rid of the nights slime. He still wasn’t used to the human habit of being diurnal. At least the sun wasn’t as harsh as Alternia’s, so he didn’t have to worry about being blinded.

It was the big day, time for the party, and he could hear John in the kitchen pestering the others with his seemingly endless supply of energy. Shouts of ‘It’s my birthday!’ and ‘Is that the cake you made Dave? Is that for me???!?!’ echoed through the thin walls of the house they all shared. In just a few moments it would be time for Karkat to head downstairs and join the group. It was times like these when he wished that he wasn’t so horrible at waking up early. He definitely could have used the extra hours to prepare himself. Just then Gamzee opened the door.

“HeYBesTFriENDItS TIME foRPreSEntSAnDaLl Are YOuCOmIngToJoINthEPArTY or WHaT”

“YEA I’M COMING, CALM YOUR LACTATING MUSCLES GOG.” He followed the perpetually stoned troll down into the living room where John was seated on a bar stool surrounded by trolls and human kids alike. He had just finished opening Vriska’s present which seemed to be a Con Air poster signed by none other than Nic Cage himself.

“oh wow thanks Vriska! this is perfect!” Vriska stood up to get a hug from the birthday boy who was scaling his echeladder from pure happiness. Of course she had to give Karkat a smug look as she embraced John, she wouldn’t have been Vriska if she didn’t.

Karkat had missed all the other presents and the only evidence that they had existed was the littering of shiny wrapping paper on the floor. John had clearly not bothered to captchalogue any of it after tearing it to unusable shreds. Walking fully into the room he met John’s eyes for the first time that day. Predictably, his blood pumper started beating out a pattern not too different from a samba, and he could feel his word hole drying up with anxiety.

John refused to look away from Karkat and so they were locked into a staring contest that was as awkward for them as it was for all their friends who had to witness it.

“heyKarkat, glad you decided to come down.” John said with a gentle smile as though he had doubted whether the troll would come at all.

“I see you didn’t even get him a present! How typical of you Karkat. Some friend you are.” Vriska commented from somewhere off to his right.

“I DID GET HIM A PRESENT ASSHAT, SO SHUT UP.” Karkat retorted without turning to look at her.

“Then what is it? We’re dying to know here.” Karkat saw John’s face light up when he said he had gotten him a present, there was no backing down now. Karkat wanted John to smile like that every day, so he had no choice. He had to do it.

He took a deep breath, marched over to John and kissed him. He wound his fingers through John’s hair and tried to convey without words all of his feelings. His feelings that he and John were meant to be together and hold hands and sing stupid songs to each other like the couples in those romantic comedies he had seen. He put all of his nervousness and desperation into the kiss, terrified that John would push him away. But when he felt John’s hands come up to pull him closer he stopped. He pulled back to look at this boy who had stolen his heart. John’s eyes were filled with happiness and his face was plastered with the familiar grin Karkat loved so much.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN.”Karkat whispered.

“best birthday EVER.” John replied.

#taimat #longliveperuvia #homestuck #fanfiction #john egbert #karkat #karkat vantas

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