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GOES INSANE

the first teaser trailer for blumhouse's 'five nights at freddy's' movie has been released

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when kaeya was a kid his most exacerbated reaction to getting hurt was a very pointed "ow" and one tear at most. meanwhile when diluc got hurt he would wail and sob and sniffle around all day afterwards. and yknow what i think that their essence hasn't changed now that they're adults. kaeya who says "this doesn't.. look good.." when he dies in game and diluc who says "my flame.....has been..extinguished....." like okay. we still know who's the most dramatic out of the two

#diluc is 100% srs while spitting the corniest heroic lines while kaeyas doing it for the vine like 💀💀💀💀

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throwing this out here PLEASE tell me someone’s read the serafina series by Robert Beatty!

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I feel like this is an unpopular opinion, but more people should read incomplete/unfinished/in-progress fanfics.

I've noticed this huge trend where creators on tiktok and tumblr who will be explaining how to use Archive Of Our Own to new users and they always say "and make sure to scroll down and click completed only" or how people will go out of their way to mention they only read completed fics 'because they were traumatized when they forgot to check the dates and didn't realize this fic hadn't been updated since 2012'.

The thing is - I think by not engaging with and/or actively avoiding writer's WIPs readers are potentially adding to the aggregate of abandoned works. Now this obviously isn't the case for all abandoned fics, anything from major life events, to loss of interest, to getting busy can be a reason for a fic getting abandoned - but at least on some level I just know that writers are quitting while they're ahead when they aren't garnering any response or feedback because reading WIPs has become unpopular. If you're worried about reading something that hasn't been updated since 2012 then you can use the date updated function to sort out old fics.

Anyways, support your favorite fanfic writers by engaging with their WIPs.

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Alhaitham/Kaveh fake marriage fic concept:

Alhaitham doesn't get along with his parents. They have expectations for him that he doesn't care about, and he is exhausted by them. They're the stereo typical "our son is successful" type of parents and take credit for his accomplishments. They are also desperate to see Alhaitham settle down with a partner.

When they show up unannounced at his house with a list of "perfect" matches (men and women bc no homophobia in my fics), Alhaitham weighs the pros and cons of arguing with them and decides to introduce Kaveh as his husband because it takes less effort. Kaveh being Kaveh thinks this is hilarious and rolls with it. When Alhaitham's parents leave, they both assume it's the end of it.

It isn't.

Alhaitham's parents are devastated to have missed the wedding ("we eloped") and, upon figuring out Kaveh is famous, start bragging about their son-in-law. Things start spiralling but maintaining the lie is still less effort than telling the truth because if they find out Alhaitham lied, they will be even more intolerable. So Alhaitham dives head first into the most logically twisted scheme he can think of and drags Kaveh along for the ride-- all the avoid his parents' awkward matchmaking.

They're stuck doing stuff like forging a backdated marriage certificate that Alhaitham has to sneak into the archives to file. Kaveh has to convince Cyno to sign off on paperwork for something (Akademiya protocol for married couples?). Figuring out their meeting and first date stories, practicing holding hands and kissing because they can't look like they've never done it before. Staging photos of their relationship to show his parents.

Kaveh, in his third outfit swap for taking pictures: "Is this really less effort than just being honest?"

Alhaitham, halfway through setting up the Kamera: "Yes."

And, well, if you do something enough, it eventually becomes the truth. Kaveh catches feelings, unknowing that Alhaitham has been ignoring his own sentiments the entire time.

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genshin age hcs except im RIGHT 😾 (mondstadt)

albedo - physically 24 yrs old and chronologically 500 yrs old

amber - 21 yrs old !! basing this off the webtoon, very complicated timeline 😰

barbara - 16 yrs old, we stan barbara in this house 😤

bennett - 17 yrs old, but hes born on a leap yr so hes like 4?? idk

diluc - 23 yrs old. ALSO basing off the webtoon, this is most likely his canon age but its legit so hard to figure it out with all the current lore and the webtoon basically messes with mondstadt's timeline...

diona - 11 yrs old.. not the child labor 🥱

eula - 26 yrs old

fischl - 17 yrs old, dream wardrobe for the goth girlys

jean - 25 yrs old

kaeya - 23 yrs old

klee - 8 yrs old, i have NEVER seen a character that perfectly portrayed how BATSHIT INSANE 8 year old kids are... BRO U GIVE THE AVERAGE 2ND GRADER THE POWER TO ESSENTIALLY CREATE NUCLEAR BOMBS, THE WORLD ENDS.

lisa - 36 yrs old

mona - 29 yrs old

noelle - 17 yrs old,, let her be a knight 2k23 fr...

razor - 15 yrs old

rosaria - 26 yrs old

sucrose - 24 yrs old

venti - physically 21 yrs old and chronologically 3,000 yrs old

#albedo #genshin headcanons #genshin #genshin impact #jean #diluc #genshin amber #kaeya alberich #genshin klee #fischl #eula lawrence #lisa minci #mona megistus #noelle genshin impact #razor #rosaria #sucrose #genshin impact venti #genshin bennett #diona

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genshin age hcs except im RIGHT 👹 (liyue)

beidou - 43 yrs old, it doesn't make sense for her to be any younger since it'd obviously take a long time to build a fleet like the crux AND to build her fearsome reputation.

ningguang - 44 yrs old. again, it takes a long time to get to where ningguang is in liyue's government/society.

ganyu - physically 27 yrs old and chronologically 3,000 yrs old

keqing - 28 yrs old. i honestly feel like she's been thru a divorce... like idk why,,, i just have a feeling she got married for a while in her early 20's and it just failed...

chongyun - 15 yrs old #gay

xingqiu - 15 yrs old #gay

hu tao - 22 yrs old and hangs out with teenagers #badinfluence #keepherawayfromurkids

qiqi - physically 6 yrs old and chronologically 900 yrs old,,, poor baby :(

shenhe - 32 yrs old

xiangling - 17 yrs old

xiao - physically 20 yrs old and chronologically 4,000 years old

xinyan - 18 yrs old

yanfei - 34 yrs old

yelan - 36 yrs old, COME HOME PLSPSLPSLS

yunjin - 21 yrs old

zhongli - physically 40 yrs old and chronologically 6,000 and some odd yrs old.

#genshin #genshin headcanons #genshin impact #chongyun #xingqiu #hu tao #genshin qiqi #shenhe #beidou #ningguang #ganyu #keqing #xiao #xiangling #xinyan #yanfei #yunjin #yelan #zhongli

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genshin age hcs except i'm RIGHT 😡 (inazuma)

ayato - 32 yrs old !!!! this man talks like he's in a business meeting 24/7 and acts like he's seen the archon war!!! bro probably tells ayaka stories like "back in my day..."

ayaka - 20 yrs old, probably has a thesis to worry about rn

thoma - 30 yrs old, he and ayato r def close in age

yoimiya - 19 yrs old,,, girl acts like the senior in highschool who literally lived at the guidance counselor's office cuz she was pulling sum crazy stunt like blowing up a toilet 💀

sayu - 14 yrs old. i feel like ur pushing it if u say she's any older, she's rlly just some shortass preteen in my eyes 😭

sangonomiya kokomi - 27 yrs old and already in a midlife crisis

gorou - 25 yrs old

yae miko - physically 40 yrs old and chronologically 550 yrs old #grandma

raiden ei - physically 40 yrs old and chronologically 3,000 yrs old #seniorcitizen

shikanoin heizou - 23 yrs old, idk just a feeling

kaedehara kazuha - 21 yrs old, i would've said 18 since beidou considers him to be a "kid" but he drinks 😅

arataki itto - 26 yrs old with no job no bitches no love life no money no mom no dad no house no life /j

kuki shinobu - 25 yrs old and alr tired of this BS, probably already paid for her future retirement home

kujou sara - 31 yrs old

#kamisato ayato #kamisato ayaka #yoimiya #sayu genshin impact #genshin thoma #sangonomiya kokomi #genshin gorou #yae miko #raiden ei #shikanoin heizou #kaedehara kazuha #arataki itto #genshin impact kuki #kujou sara

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mondstadt character hcs! part one

*see how venti has one finger up im so clever for picking this gif*

basically how they think of each other and crap, i didnt listen to the voicelines so this is definitely not uh canon compliant? this will include npcs!

CONTENT WARNING: swearing since diona and rosaria exist

VENTI AND ROSARIA

the aunties that don't talk to each other for like, fifteen years and they randomly meet each other at the mall and start talking while they leave you in the middle of the electronics store.

they're wine aunts who give bad advice and hand-me-downs to you

they used to babysit kids but had to stop because of a warning from jean

venti gets so drunk that sometimes rosaria takes him to her quarters in the church

venti will randomly sing at the tavern and he always manages to get rosaria to play the lyre for him while he sings

they have nicknames for each other

"bard boy" and "catwoman"

rosaria doesn't quite understand the reference but venti giggles to himself and thinks of batman theme songs ✪ ω ✪

rosaria = instigator of drama

venti = doer of drama

rosaria will always update venti on church drama

"hey bard boy, have i told you about sister rosette cheating on her boyfriend with eury's husband?"

"that's awful, is eury doing alright?"

"she already had the divorce papers"

"wow, how awful is her husband?"

"just bitchy enough for me to dislike him as well"

"language, catwoman!"

"😒"

"but i do have to say, the erotic undertones of the situation make for an incredible song! shall i write a ballad 'bout this scandal?"

"yes."

DONNA AND DILUC

"all i can think about is diluc!" x "who?" i am DEFENDING DONNA WITH MY LIFE do not hate on her on my watch (╬▔皿▔)╯

donna was definitely writing in her diary about the darknight hero after she met him, but she knew that a mysterious figure like him wouldn't be easy to talk to....

so i know in my soul that this madwoman decided to investigate

diluc knows that someone is investigating him and he's trying to work out whether or not kaeya went back on his 'promise' to keep it a secret, but he hasn't ruled out the girls who are into him.

donna DEF has those detective novels and basically gained inspo from there for her investigation, she also has those boards where you connect pictures with yarn and shit.

she's definitely aware that something is up with the wine tycoon man, but she still hasn't gotten to that point so diluc is listed in her suspects list....

meanwhile diluc is still working out who could possibly be looking into him... the fatui? the harbinger he met in snezhnaya four years ago? could it just be kaeya's ass snooping around? or was it diona trying to kill him again?

donna's wannabe detective moments end when she starts to get bored of darknight hero and starts simping for diluc once again

(i just find donna x diluc so funny but i also rlly want them to interact FOR REALISES💀✋)

JEAN AND KAEYA

wlw and mlm hostility. THEY'RE SO FAKE TO EACH OTHER I JUST KNOW IT...

the passive-aggressive energy that enters everyone's bodies the nanosecond these two see each other.

"hello jean."

"good to see you too."

*silence as amber enters the room and awkwardly scrapes the chair across so she can sit*

"what'd i miss?"

i know in my soul that whenever jean's on a mission, kaeya sneaks into her office and sits on her chair for the ego boost

everytime kaeya leaves the room, jean rolls her eyes def

kaeya used to steal her food at work but varka told him off so he only steals her hairpins now

sometimes jean, amber and eula go out for church but every single time, kaeya manages to crash the outings.

"oh how lovely, there was a church session and nobody invited me? how cruel of you girls..."

"barbatos give me patience"

of course, they don't hate each other. jean and kaeya are friends and only playfully act mean to each other. but sometimes jean wants to throw him off the church's towers and sometimes kaeya wakes up everyday and decides to piss everyone off because of his daddy issues.

DIONA AND BARBARA

i hc that diluc gets barbara to babysit diona since he knows that diona doesn't have many responsible guardians in her life... sad

"diona, mr draff said that you need to do your homework D:"

"tell that old man i dont give a crap!"

"diona! if you keep cussing like this, i'm going to–"

"that old man? huh! daddy can't do anything about it because his oldass has been drunk all morning! i'm gonna go bomb the wine industry with klee, can't stop me!"

"hey! hey! klee's grounded, come back here!"

diona bullies barbara whenever she babysits and barbara is on her last nerve

they do get along whenever barbara gets her to scrapbook, she even gets klee over so diona behaves for once.

"d'you think i drew margaret right, diona?"

"uh, klee... i dunno how to tell you this but that looks like a garbage can."

"you're right! is it a good garbage can though?"

"ah, girls! don't speak ill of miss margaret..."

"all that lady does is drink, barbara!"

"juice?"

"wine, klee."

"oh jeez."

sometimes barbara finds herself breaking down from all the pressure while she babysits and diona begrudgingly comforts her, telling her that she shouldn't let anyone make her do things she doesn't want to.

diona even offers to beat up her stalkers, to which barbara quickly decines.

diona does it anyway.

SUCROSE AND AMBER

i hc that amber has a rock collection and that she once helped sucrose collect bones unknowingly and that's why sucrose admires her so much i also hc that amber is amazing at stitching and just makes people clothes when she has nothing to do

sucrose is really awkward during meetings at the knights, so amber always helps translate her words whenever she tries to speak up.

which is why they always sit next to each other during meetings!

sucrose sends amber random rocks she finds and amber greatly appreciates it.

sucrose is pretty dang good at art as well since albedo's art studies was so easy for her to grasp, so she sometimes asks amber to give her things to draw.

amber sometimes stitches sucrose socks or leg warmers whenever she has time

they're not the closest of friends but amber considers her a good friend.

MONA AND ADELINDE

i hc that when mona finally settled down in mondstadt, she met adelinde while buying groceries and they became friends mona likes to tell her about alll the predictions she has for people in town

"adeline, dear, i bought a new scryglass this afternoon and i do believe sir diluc's fate has become much more clearer."

"please, please, please let the young master have a good love life..."

"ah shit–! excuse my manners, adelinde, i think i must've seen something i shouldn't..."

"what? what is it?"

"it's the young master... in carnal embrace."

"...excuse me?"

"twice..."

"what"

"once with a young woman he met in snezhnaya and another with a fatuus."

"..."

"..."

"i would like to see kaeya's love life."

"let's hope it isn't something so promiscuous."

can you tell that i love being nosy

⋆⛧┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈⛧⋆

if this post gets seen by anyone, you can drop ur reqs down there, i would prefer platonic pairings instead of ships ◑﹏◐ (i do ship kaebedo and fischl x noelle so those pairs will be included somehow lolsss)

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #venti #rosaria #diluc #donna genshin impact #headcanons #jean #kaeya #diona #genshin barbara #mondstadt #genshin impact barbara #mona genshin impact #adelinde

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the final hydro archon design woo

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𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 !

*they're getting ready for the weddings HAHA aw*

this oneshot is also available to read on my wattpad! @seraphhhhhhhh! that's 7 hs by the way!

enjoy!

CONTENT WARNING: contains alcohol consumption (zhongchi) and mild sexual content (jeanluc), very mild though. throw up when i see smut, promise y'all it doesnt go quite so far ✋

beidou and ningguang !

a dance on the deck and a kiss on a cheek...

"As long as the oceans breathe, we will stand together, braving the troubles and hardships that blow our way. The life of a pirate is risky, and unsure but the promise of the woman I dearly love waiting for me back at home, is more perfect than anything I could ever ask for. Whatever the world throws at us, we'll be together through it all. Through sickness and through health, I am yours and you are mine."  — The Captain of the Crux Fleet, Beidou. Her oath to her lover recorded by her good friend, Kaedehara Kazuha. It is written with careful strokes of a brush.

"As long as my heart beats and my soul lingers, I shall be yours. Loving you with no more fear, but with passion and care, with hope and joy. I will fiercely protect you, that I know. For the love we share is as sturdy as the jade of mountains, and as lovely as a lily. Our lives are unclear, and the paths we take are unprecendented, but nothing compares to you. For richer or for poorer, we belong together."  — The Tianquan of the Seven Qixing, Lady Ningguang. Her wedding vows recorded by Lady Ganyu of Yuehai Pavillion, it is written with utmost care and emotion, stained with tears of joy.

The moon was round and clear that night, giving limelight to the lovers. The light showed their smiles and their kisses, their laughter and their dance. A quiet ceremony was held with the couple's closest confidants, the serenity of the wedding only perfected by a slow ballad performance by a certain musician; requested by Beidou. The lovers throughly enjoyed their night, dancing on the decks to Xinyan's soulful singing and drinking wine and eating foods catered by Xiangling. 

Beidou took Ningguang by the hip and swung her around for a dance, she snickered at her newly wed wife's small gasps as Beidou twirled her around. 

"Oh Captain, do slow down." Ningguang laughed softly into her ear, "We're going to trip if you're not so careful." 

Beidou laughed, she spun her around by the arm and pulled her back close. "You're so beautiful in this dress, looking all fancy and married."

Ningguang smirked, "Still can't believe it, Beidou? That's adorable of you." 

"You really can read my mind," Beidou spinned her one last time, and pulled away. She looked down at her garments, a bridal qi pao. "But I can finally kiss you in public." 

Ningguang scoffed, an air of playfulness in her tone, "Mm, don't get too comfortable, dear." the couple sat on the tables, "It sets a mood, your way of kissing me. I don't think it'll do my business any good if you distract me with such sweet words." 

"Aha! Really now?" the dark-haired captain smiled coyly, she turned to Xinyan. "You hear what she's sayin' to me, kid?"

"I hear her loud and clear, cap'n. I'm not one to butt in, but y'all like bantering like that, huh?" she chuckled, "I'm happy for you two, finally married! We were all waitin' on you."

Kazuha sat next to the spiky haired girl, "It's true. We weren't counting on an immediate marriage, though it does gladden my heart to see our captain so happy."

"Thank you for your kind words, dear Kaedehara." Ningguang smiled softly, she held Beidou's hand under the table, "I think we'll be very happy from now on, won't we?" 

"Yeah... we will." she grinned.

For the first time, Ningguang and Beidou felt like lovers and not like some dirty secret that should be hidden away. They were wives. 

ei and yae miko !

underneath the sakura tree , an eternal marriage takes root .

"Ever since the moment our eyes met, a deep thunderous feeling resounded in my heart. And that feeling was love. Our land of lightning and sakura shall bear witness to our union, and it will be eternal and great. But the desire I have is a simple one. All I want is to... remain with you, sharing food and drinks made with care. I will be very happy to spend my life with you, my Miko."  — The Electro Archon, Raiden Ei. Her wedding vows recorded by shrine maiden, Inagi Hotomi. Written on a scroll, a great deal of reverence and excitement is sensed from the erratic style.

"Ei, my dear stubborn and sweet warrior, I have waited long for this. Ever since you left your Plane of Euthymia, I have felt a great deal of neverending happiness and elation. Though I'd rather not admit my weaknesses, you are mine. My weakness, and my god. So let us see this imperfect world together and enjoy its obsessions with love and hate, with meetings and partings. Not a single soul shall forget our story, I will make sure of that." — Guuji Yae of Grand Narukami Shrine and Editor-In-Chief of Yae Publishing House. Her wedding vows also recorded by Inagi Hotomi.

The wedding reception was everything Miko could hope for. Fried Tofu on the table, paired with her favorite sauce... a good serving of Rainbow Aster on the table plus some delicious pizza. Oh and her wife! 

She was now Raiden Miko, or was her dear wife now Yae Ei? 

Either way, the love of her life was here. Finally here in her arms as they danced to the traditional Inazuman wedding songs, no longer having to wait for her. For five hundred years, she'd been waiting for Ei to make good on her love confession, and it was finally here. Five hundred years late, but she was happy enough.

"Ah, everything feels perfect, doesn't it? I only wish we'd done this sooner..." the pink-haired kitsune said to Ei as they sat on the chairs, watching the Yashiro Commissioner and his housekeeper dance along. Yae Miko turned to her, "I'm happy, Ei. I really am."

Ei smiled deeply, "I'm glad you are. I must say, you look stunning in the garments the shrine maidens prepared for you."

"You're too sweet to me, Ei." Miko's ears twitched as she laughed fondly, "Ah... Nights like this remind me of when we'd have late night picnics, reading the novels of bygone ages."

"It does." Ei remarked. "It'd be a perfect night to read those highly entertaining light novels you have hidden away. What was one of those Liyue love novels called?"

"You mean that teenage love fantasy?" Miko laughed again, "Alright then, I'll get Young and Hopelessly Smitten for you," she stood up, "Wait here, dear."

Miko walked through the her private chambers in the shrine, she looked through her cabinets and noticed a picture frame tucked away. As she took a look at it, she smiled fondly. 

"Ei, I have it!" Yae walked to the table, Ei lit up as she saw her and gave her a small wave. "I also found something else, would you like to see?" she set the picture frame on the table.

"Oh?" Ei took it into her hands, "What's... oh." 

The picture was a small painting of Makoto, Ei and Yae Miko in their youth. The trio sat on a picnic mat underneath a sakura tree, its leaves falling on Makoto's umbrella as Miko lay on her lap. Ei was holding a cheesecake on her lap with a serious expression. 

 "My, you were so solemn back in the day!" Miko giggled, "How I remember this so well, Makoto was so very adamant about dragging you away from your martial arts training."

"I..." Ei spoke, "I remember this too, it was the time Makoto joked about us being lovers."

"Now how do you remember that?" Miko asked, "I remember you getting highly embarrassed and blushing all over, you were practically squriming after I pecked you on the cheek."

"It's because Makoto wouldn't stop joking about it either..." Ei rolled her eyes, "Even now I feel my cheeks getting red."

"Don't get embarrassed, we're married now!" Yae said cheekily, "You can't do anything about it now." she flashed her ring in Ei's face.

 "Ah, I suppose so..." Ei said.

"Now don't say it with such a disappointed tone! Makes it sound like I forced it on you..." the kitsune cried out mockingly.

"Miko! I'm merely teasing." Ei laughed, not softly like she always did but with dorky snorts and a wide grin. Miko had been waiting to see that face in forever, seeing that meant she was home. 

"You wound me, Ei..." Miko sighed dramatically, "Words hit like lightning, you know?"

Ei merely giggled uncontrollably, "Alright, alright!"

Miko finally felt content, she was right where she wanted to be. With Ei.

zhongli and tartaglia !

weirdly warm wine and stories to be told . (dont mind the p0rnhub colors...)

"Zhongli, since the day we met in that little town street, I haven't been able to keep you off my mind. I don't think I've ever cared for anyone the way I have for you, not even a little bit. If the world ever burns to the ground, know that I'll stay and love you like a warrior. Nothing can turn me away from you. I swear by the Tsaritsa's glory that I will be your husband, faithfully and loyally yours."  — The Eleventh of the Fatui Harbingers, Tartaglia. His wedding vows recorded by their legal advisor, Yanfei. The style is formally written like a legal document.

"I remember when we first kissed, it was a sunny and warm day. The sea breeze rolled in as we stood on the beach's white sand, collecting those blue seashells you do adore. I believe that was the day I fell in love, and every moment with you after that has sent my heart into a flurry of desires. No one compares to you, I admire your resilience and it gladdens my heart that I can be with you now.  I shall swear by the law, that I will love and protect you till the day Death takes us." — Funeral Consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Zhongli. His oath to his lover, Yanfei records this as well.

"I never knew the sea of Snezhnaya was this freezing..." Zhongli whispered to Tartaglia, they sat on a boat headed for his now husband's homeland. They dressed in dull coats with fur of vicious monsters that Tartaglia had hunted down and turned into a coat, the fur itself was white. Tartaglia proudly presented it to him after they arranged the marital contract.

"I did warn you, didn't I..." he chuckled in response, "I hope you're not too cold though, wouldn't want you to catch a fever before you meet my family. Are you?" Tartaglia suddenly looked concerned and put the palm of his head on Zhongli's forehead to feel for a cold.

"Alright, no need to be so worrisome about it." Zhongli said with a flippant laugh, he took his hand and held it, "I have layers upon layers of thick fabric on, this is more than enough."

Tartaglia huffed lightly, "You're not used to the cold like I am..."

"This is bound to be a long trip, dear. I'm perfectly fine." Zhongli sighed, rubbing his mittens together. A puff of cold wind rushed outside.

"Well, at least drink the hot cocoa I made." he insisted. There was no sense in arguing with him, such a stubborn man. Zhongli sighed, motioning for Tartaglia to get it for him. 

As Tartaglia grabbed the bag to get the bottle, Zhongli thought for a moment. He was coming to visit Tartaglia's family, yet he knew close to nothing about its history, all he knew about them was his little siblings. "So while we're on our way, why don't you tell me more about your family?" Zhongli asked, "I mean, your family's ancestors and such."

His face instantly lit up, "Sure thing! Here, have the cocoa." he laid it on Zhongli's lap, "Ah, where do I begin?"

"My great-great-great grandfather was a toymaker, one day while he was out delivering the toys for his customers, he met a mysterious woman..." he said, getting into the story. "She was dressed in a long, flowing white garment. Her eyes were icy blue and spoke with a regal voice."

"The Tsaritsa?" Zhongli asked, equally into the story. He sipped from the bottle, tasting the drink.

"Yes! My father told me that story, and apparently Grandfather Maxim met the Tsaritsa a little before the Cataclysm." said Tartaglia, "Zhongli, you were there right? What was it like?"

"It was... horrifying." Zhongli trailed off, thinking of how to describe it. "...So much bloodshed and, uh, death all around. Things you would enjoy, I'm sure." he said casually, taking another sip of the cocoa. "It was a catastrophe, like the books say."

"Hmm... is that so..." Tartaglia seemed to be thinking too. Probably of how much people there was to fight.

"Speaking of catastrophe, Tonia keeps sending me recommendations of these trashy love novels!" Tartaglia sighed, he pulled out a book with a... rather inappropriate cover. "Look at this! She's only 14 and she's already reading this... this crap!" 

Zhongli peeked at the title, "Fifty Shades of Gray? I've heard of this book, a Mondstadter friend of mine went to Inazuma and drunkenly sent me a package with its sequels. It was strangely entertaining."

"Not you too!" The ginger cried out, "What's so good about it anyway? I didn't think a well-read person like yourself would even consider this remotely decent... quite the opposite, really."

"Literature doesn't have to be good or complex to be enter... entertaining." Zhongli hiccuped, "Ahem... besides, you read those fan works of light novels from Inazuma, I can't imagine that it's almost any better than the books Tonia reads." 

"I thought married couples were supposed to be nice to each other..." Tartaglia said with a pout.

Zhongli nearly choked on his cocoa, he couldn't help but laugh at the adorably dumb way he said that. 

"Hey! Now you're laughing!" Tartaglia huffed, "Zhongli!"

"How am I supposed to not laugh at you, dear?" Zhongli laughed wholeheartedly, for some reason he sounded like he was slurring, "Heh... you can be so very cute sometimes."

"Zhongli... did you drink the wine?" Tartaglia said slowly, he took the bottle from his hands. He opened it and took a whiff, it was the wine he packed. He turned to Zhongli who was suddenly yawning, "Oh. Well, it wouldn't hurt to have a nap, would it?"

"It wouldn't." Zhongli muttered. 

Zhongli laid on Tartaglia's lap, and they stayed together like that until the boat docked at Snezhnaya's ports.

The warm feeling in his heart as he woke up from the nap was deeper than he could ever imagine. Zhongli didn't think he'd find another love like this, one that actually stood a chance. No longer would he have to kill himself praying that his beloved would come back home alive, no longer would he have to bury somebody he loved so dearly. 

Yes, he was now mortal. And he was allowed to be selfish and keep this love. 

that's so gay 💀🥱

jean and diluc !

the knight in shining armor and her dearly beloved .

"Falling in love always seemed like an impossible thing for me. I always sought out the kind of romance from unrealistic novels, so I was immature and thought that love was something I would stumble over and find like a rock on the street. But now I know that love is nutured and that it takes more than a feeling or a spark, because now I have Diluc. I've been searching for love for so long, and I realize now that the thing I was looking for was right here all along. Diluc Ragnvindr, take my heart and keep it like a promise, for I am yours."  — The Acting Grandmaster, Jean Gunnhildr. Recorded by the Deaconess Barbara, she smiles with great joy as the ceremony commences.

"I've always had feelings for you,ever since the day we first met as young knights. We were much different then, but the emotion I felt then still remains. You are the woman I want to spend my life with, the woman I choose to cherish and love forever. Despite my many flaws, you chose to be there for me, to be the one to care and tell me what I needed to do make it right. Being with you... I think it makes me a better person. A better man. Jean Gunnhildr, you are my knight, my wonderful and brilliant wife. I promise to be the lover you deserve." — Owner of Dawn Winery, Diluc Ragnvindr. Kaeya tearfully claps next to him as his best man. 

Diluc and Jean laid on the couch, slouching in their wedding attire. The wedding, the reception and the afterparty Kaeya and Venti threw for the couple had just finished. It was an exhausting day. Diluc noticed the moon outside, that's how late it was. It had taken almost every nerve in Diluc not to smack Kaeya in the face after he convinced Venti to sing a largely inappropriate song from another world Venti called, "Earth."

 Regardless, Jean had enjoyed the celebrations and  the weird song so he supposed  it was worth the trouble. 

He looked over at Jean, she had her hair in beautiful curled hair and it was tied up with a bow Lisa had bought her as a gift. A very lazy gift, Diluc noted. She was wearing a white suit, especially tailored by the Knights as a sort of thank-you present for all her hard work. Eula Lawrence had taken her shopping around town for the rest of the outfit, and it made her looks stunning. 

Despite the eyebags.

Meanwhile Kaeya had taken him on the most catastrophic "boys' night out" for his wedding suit, he'd rather not recall the moment Kaeya started belly dancing in the middle of the town square. It was far too embarrassing but at least he had something to remind Kaeya about now. 

He was dressed in a comically 'fancy' suit with far too many ruffles and designs all over it, he didn't have the time to buy another one thanks to a certain brother. Regardless, Jean seemed to love it so much. She giggled the moment he stepped into the church, Diluc blushed at the memory. He had his hair up in a ponytail, with elaborate braiding by Kaeya himself. He said it was Khaenri'ahn style, he seemed so proud of himself.

"Diluc..." Jean sighed happily, "Today was amazing."

"I'm glad you think so." Diluc smiled, she took his hand and held it. 

"I love you." she whispered so gently, kissing his hand.

"I..." he trailed off,  his cheeks slightly red.

"Hey, let's go to bed." Jean took her hand off his face and stood up, she began taking off her suit. "Don't keep me waiting."

Jean went up the stairs without another word, Diluc felt... strange to say the least. Almost as if he wanted her to...

Maybe don't read too hard into it. Diluc thought. Despite warning himself not to think about it, he still felt his face getting hot at the thought of... whatever Jean wanted. 

 He went up the stairs and turned the knob of their bedroom door.

Jean sat there on the windowsill in putting her black lacy nightgown on, her lingerie was still visible. Her hair was down and messy. She gave him a small wave. 

"Oh, Diluc." she smiled at him as she slipped the nightgown on. She looked down at his clothes. "Come on, let me help you change, the stuff on that ridiculous outfit can be hard to unbutton."

"Ah... yeah." he sat next to her, taking off the suit jacket. "Hah... you know how Kaeya can be with fashion, he bought me this."

Jean chuckled, "Honestly, I don't think his uniform is hardly appropriate for knightly attire. But I wouldn't want to be a buzzkill," she unbuttoned his shirt, tracing her hand along his chest. "Would I, sir?"

"A-ah... yes, it really is..." Diluc trailed off as Jean began pinning him down the bed, her breathing becoming more hot and heavy, "Jean...?"

She leaned down and whispered in his ear, "You can stay still for me, can't you?"

Diluc couldn't get the words out of his mouth. But both of them knew what he could. He simply nodded.

"Good." She said, "Don't back out too soon."

(ew)

ANYWAYS THATS THE ONESHOT BYE 💯

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin headcanons #ships #beidou #ningguang #beigguang #zhongli #childe #tartaglia #zhongchi #tartali #chili #raiden ei #yae miko #eimiko #jean #diluc #jeanluc #beidou x ningguang #zhongli x tartaglia #yae miko x ei #jean x diluc #fluff #wedding #wedding vows

[s3raphh]

gangster house husband material

[s3raphh]

gnostic chorus musings- who must we save?

[s3raphh]

Y’know, if you think about it, the traveler is pretty much “guy who knows a guy” friend at this point. Oh you need to pick a good place for dinner for a date? Yeah, they know a chef. Drinks? No worries, they’re close with the owner of the best winery in Mondstat. Music? Will the god of the wind work? He’s a nice bard, helped him save a dragon once, no biggie. 

 Even hell, need to kill someone off? They spar with a bloodthirsty maniac on mondays! Just in case, they also know a really good lawyer and a funeral parlor director! 

[s3raphh]

yahooooooooo

[s3raphh]

this is arguably one of the funniest scenes in all of genshin

[s3raphh]

lord have mercy, we must stay focused brothers

anyways, have a mafia au lumine and aether