some angst idk y’all i like crying
“ i don’t want you here. just go. ”
“ you ‘didn’t mean to hurt me?’ yeah you did. like it or not, i know exactly who you are. ”
“ why won’t you even look at me? ”
“ i’m not angry at you. i’m angry with myself for trusting you. ”
“ i wish you’d stop trying to destroy yourself in some misguided effort to feel worthy. ”
“ i know it’s not fair to say this, but i don’t have anything without you. if i don’t have you i have nothing. ”
“ you can’t love me. not the way i need to be loved. ”
“ i’m broken. and i don’t need anyone to try to feed me white lies about it. something inside me is broken and it isn’t just going to be put back like it was. ”
“ sometimes being broken isn’t about trying to put things back together like they were before. it’s about picking up what pieces are left and building something new. ”
“ okay, so you’re a monster. so am i. lets be monsters together. ”
“ because of what they/you did i’m damaged. ”
“ what the hell is wrong with you? ”
“ what the hell is wrong with me? ”
“ i can’t fix you. you can’t expect me to know how to fix you. ”
“ yeah, i’ll be here. i’ll be here when you’re ready to stop running. ”
“ my world is just falling apart. it’s like everything is just crumbling around me. i don’t know what to do. i just want it to stop ”
“ you’re the only thing that makes sense right now. everything else is just— the world is so loud. and the only time it feels quiet is when you’re here. ”
“ i don’t know how to talk about shit okay? it’s too hard. but i do care. i need you to trust me that i care. ”
“ stop punishing yourself. you wanna make up for what you’ve done? get off your ass and do something about it. ”
“ whatever it is you think was going on between us, you’re wrong. ”
“ it didn’t mean anything to me. ”
“ you should move on. i did. ”
“ i feel like i’m one bad day away from becoming everything i’ve fought against. ”
“ stop pushing me away. i’m not going anywhere, asshole. and as soon as you get that through that thick skull of yours, the better. ”
“ i don’t need you in my life. i don’t want you in it. ”
“ i can’t trust myself. if i let myself get comfortable enough, when i try to be happy, people get hurt. ”
“ people like me don’t get to have peace. ”
“ i’m not the person you want. i know you think i am. but it won’t take long for you to realize this is a mistake. ”
“ you want the truth? the truth is when i love people it burns inside me like a poison. it infects every part of me until it feels like they’re in my goddamn soul…and then i fuck it up. and it’ll destroy us both. ”
“ i’ll always choose you. that’s the worst part of it all. i’d choose you over and over, even though i know you wouldn’t do the same. ”
“ you never had to be perfect. you just had to stay. ”
“ will you please just stay for once. just. don’t walk away. ”
“ if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. ”
“ just tell me something real. tell me something i can remember no matter what happens to us. ”
“ when you look at me, i feel seen. i feel like you see past everything i’ve always surrounded myself with to try and protect my heart. no one has ever looked that deeply at me. ”
“ how can you uncover so much about someone, make them let their guard down and lay themselves bare to you. and then just throw it all away? ”
“ if you walk out that door don’t bother coming back. ”
“ why are you so afraid of trusting this— trusting us. what’s making you hold back? ”
“ will you still be here? will you stay even after you’ve seen all the ugly parts of my heart. ”
“ i don’t care how willing you are to die for me. i want you to fucking live with me. live for us. ”
HURT/COMFORT
[ DISCOVER ] for one muse to find the other crying alone.
[ COMPANY ] for one muse to sit with the other so they don’t have to be alone while they’re upset.
[ EMBRACE ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one for their own comfort.
[ OFFER ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one to comfort them.
[ SETTLE ] for one muse to comfort the other and end up cuddling.
[ SHOULDER ] for one muse to rest their head on the other’s shoulder while they comfort them.
[ CARRY ] for one muse to find the other injured and carry them to safety.
[ SECURE ] for one muse to carry the other to bed after they fell asleep.
[ STRUGGLE ] for one muse to resist being hugged but then break down and crumble against the other.
[ CLEAR ] for one muse to wipe the other’s tears.
[ BREAKDOWN ] for one muse to ask the other if they’re okay prompting them to finally stop bottling things up.
[ BRUSH ] for one muse to run their fingers through the other’s hair while they open up or cry.
[ NURSE ] for one muse to tend to the other while they’re recovering from injuries.
[ TRUST ] for a scenario where sender’s muse is the only one receivers muse will let close.
[ COAX ] for scenario where receiver’s muse knows they’re the only one sender’s muse will let close.
[ CALM ] for one muse to subdue the other during an outburst.
[ CLARITY ] for one muse to help ground the other back in the present (i.e. after nightmare, breakdown, battle etc)
[ PREVENT ] for one muse to stop the other from going too far during a fight.
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vampireslasher:
“A vampire bit a young man. He’s on the run and I need help finding him.” Blade commented.“ Can you help me, Jones?” He knew time was short and they needed to act fast before the young man bit someone.
She grunts, in a very noncommittal way, as though she really has to think before agreeing to help him. And perhaps, for the smallest of seconds, she does have to think about if she’s going to help him. “You’re going to have to give more more to go on then that.” Jessica states, her head nodding, making it clear that she’ll help.
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MARVEL TV APPRECIATION WEEK ★ DAY 1: FAV SHOW
JESSICA JONES
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hi, hello. please press the heart if i can interest you in a little starter?
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etherealbcings:
@repressfeelings asked: are you lying to me ? - to the muse of your choice (:
“i love how you automatically seem to assume i’m lying. do i look that dishonest?” maybe it’s not the best time for snarky comments, but xavier didn’t like the question that was asked when he had no reason to lie to the woman. “surprisingly, i’m being pretty damn honest right now which you’ll find is kind of rare for me since you know, i’m just an asshole that can’t be honest to save my life.”
Her nose crinkles as she shrugs her shoulders in a noncommittal gesture. Did she think he was lying? No, probably not, but it wasn’t like she was going to admit that aloud. The question comes from a place of distrust that stems from years of being betrayed. “Do you want a cookie for doing the right thing?” Sarcasm leeches into her voice no matter how hard she tries to hold it back. Not that hard at all. “What did you see then?”
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‘ you want a better story . who wouldn’t ? ’ from frank! says @lcvesdeath
It had been too easy, solving the case, getting the bad guy--taking them down. She wasn’t used to things being easy but now as she sat and watched from a rooftop with Castle, as their target was dragged away in handcuffs, there was a look of disbelief on her normally poised features.
“Better?” A questioning tone as she tries to understand what he’s said.
Her head turns looking him over as the words register, already shaking in disagreement, her features morphing into frustration. “It’s never that easy.” She states with her head jerking to the scene below. “It’s never this easy.” Was it paranoia seeping into her veins from being so used to waiting for the other show to drop?
Jessica is uneasy as she looks away from him, turning her back on the scene below them all together putting the pieces together in her mind. She’s running through every clue, every thing they’ve done. What did they miss?
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‘ a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort . ’ says @particlexxdealer
She hadn’t expected her case to cross paths with a literal avenger but here they were, her at her desk in Alias scrolling through a teenagers social media while Lang sat on her orange couch. The missing kid in question happened to be friends with his daughter and rather than try to look separate it was just easier for them to work together. Well, it might have been easier on him, Jessica wasn’t quite sure that she was benefiting from having someone watching her every move.
She’s already looking at him when he speaks so the words don’t catch her entirely off guard as she grabs her glass of the desk and leans back into her chair. “You think her life was that bad?” Jessica asks, as though she doesn’t already know the answer, wondering maybe he might see a detail that she’s missing. At this point what could it hurt? “It all looks pretty good on her pages.” She states knowing that’s the image that people want to put out there, that they’re happy and nothings wrong.
“How long have you know her? What do you know about her life?”
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lcvesdeath:
𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄? his therapist pretty much took that up as her job, despite how much bucky gave her hell for it. he doesn’t really listen to her, anyway. he’s been largely fumbling around, trying to make sense of the senseless things that have happened to him. he hasn’t come up with very many answers; although, being there for mr. nakajima feels like a fragile enough starting point.
( it’s not so much the advice that he wants, but rather a longing to feel at EASE after all the suffering he’s caused. )
unsurprisingly, there’s not much that jessica can tell him. looks like she’s running from something just as screwed up, as well.
“trust me, i will,” bucky grumbled, pale gaze dropping to the countertop of the bar. he’d lost his touch when it came to the dating world, for a number of reasons. not only was he carrying an ample amount of emotional BAGGAGE, but how was he supposed to trust again? he didn’t want to.
abruptly clearing his throat, he flicks open the menu. they might as well eat whilst they talk shit about their shitty love lives.
“you hungry? i’m buyin’—- and NOT in like a creepy way, okay? mr. nakajima tries to set me up with every pretty girl in my vicinity. it’s annoying.”
Trouble was a funny thing though, because no matter how much he didn’t look like he needed it she wondered if it tended to bust down his door in the same way that it continued to hers. Trouble mixed with a lot of bad luck.
"Good.” A single word with a nod of her head as she finishes off the glass before her, setting it down with a sigh, eyes taking in the people in the bar before they land back on him studying him.
There’s a moment of hesitation where she considers him, considers the offer of food and his statement with a shake of her head, the glimmer of a smile crossing her lips. “Wouldn’t eating dinner with me be giving him false hope or some shit?” Not that it would stop her, Jessica Jones didn’t turn down a burger.
“He must be getting pretty desperate to try and set you up with me. I’m pretty sure I’m his least favorite person.” Most shop owners didn’t like her though considering how often things around her got broken. She tended to be bad for business.
Settling a little further in her seat, her head tipping to her glass to let the barkeep know that she’ll take another glass. Her fingers skimming over the menu before picking it up, a sign to let him know ‘okay, i’ll stay’.
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𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 : 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔
‘ i’ll find you again , wherever we end up next . ’
‘ the enormity of my desire disgusts me . ’
‘ please , one more kiss in the kitchen before we turn the lights off . ’
‘ i’ve been lost but i’m here now . you’re the only person who has ever been able to find me . ’
‘ almost dead yesterday , maybe dead tomorrow , but alive , gloriously alive , today . ’
‘ you are not broken . ’
‘ you can love and be loved , despite what may feel like the eternally brutal nature of the world . ’
‘ i did violence to my own heart . ’
‘ will i be forgiven for the sins i did not commit , but created ? ’
‘ i would never kiss anyone who doesn’t burn me like the sun . ’
‘ i would rather break the world than lose you . ’
‘ i think you and i have known each other in a few lifetimes . ’
‘ i didn’t know . i had no idea how greedy my heart really was . ’
‘ is that why the idea of losing you torments me so much ? ’
‘ how long have i been without you ? ’
‘ am i foolish for wanting this ? it will end in flames . it always does . ’
‘ sorry about the blood in your mouth . i wish it was mine . ’
‘ if i love you , is that a fact or a weapon ? ’
‘ tell me how all this , and love too , will ruin us . ’
‘ and you realize the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be . ’
‘ it cannot be a mistake to have cared . it cannot be an error to have tried . it cannot be incorrect to have loved . ’
‘ finally , i plead guilty of adoring you . ’
‘ a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort . ’
‘ without realizing , i find it in myself that i cannot stop thinking about you . ’
‘ tomorrow , when i wake up , i promise , i will be better . ’
‘ someone has to leave first . this is a very old story . there is no other version of this story . ’
‘ when i imagine myself , i am always leaving . i couldn’t draw my own face if god asked . ’
‘ do we simply stare at what’s horrible and forgive it ? ’
‘ i wanted to let go of the pain even though it was the last thing that felt alive from you . ’
‘ have i endured loneliness with grace ? ’
‘ i’ll be your slaughterhouse , your killing floor , your morgue and final resting , walking around with this bullet inside�� me ‘cause i couldn’t make you love me and i am tired of pulling your teeth . ’
‘ and then my soul saw you and kind of went , ‘ oh , there you are . i’ve been looking for you . ’ ’
‘ sometimes it feels like someone else is wearing my body . ’
‘ i spent my life arguing how i mattered until it didn’t matter . ’
‘ who knew my haven would be my coffin ? ’
‘ dead is the safest i’ve ever been . ’
‘ i’ve never been so alive . ’
‘ you know what i was gonna tell you before , but didn’t have the nerve ? you got your name written all over me . i got my name written on you , too . ’
‘ you already are something . you always were . and you still have time to be . ’
‘ you know me by heart . it infuriates me that you know me by heart . ’
‘ why am i waiting for you ? hungering and thirsting for you in every cranny of my soul and even in my ribs ? ’
‘ you came with a handful of pain and a smile which broke the ground under my feet as the earthquake does when two people meet . ’
‘ the only good thing is that i’m getting used to suffering . ’
‘ the return to time was not my choice . ’
‘ we are built to live inside each other . this means we are built to ruin . ’
‘ time does not bring relief ; you all have lied . ’
‘ time does not know how to keep our hopes safe . ’
‘ you needed me so much that you had to end me . ’
‘ there are days where i am morbidly in love with you , and this is one of those days . ’
‘ i know no end to desiring you . ’
‘ i fear that i am both too much yet not enough . ’
‘ yes , yes , yes , i do like you . i am afraid to say the stronger word . ’
‘ a heart’s a heavy burden . ’
‘ life , as i see it , is all about farewells rather than reunions . ’
‘ heaven is real and you only had two minutes to prove it to me . ’
‘ it was already love . ’
‘ everyone desires love but also finds it impossible to believe that they deserve it . ’
‘ i’ll love you until i forget how to . ’
‘ i’ll love you until i forget how to and then i’ll fall like my knees aren’t already bruised from doing it and i’ll remember why you’re worth the ache . ’
‘ of course i’ll hurt you . of course you’ll hurt me . of course we’ll hurt each other . but this is the very condition of existence . ’
‘ nothing makes me sadder and nothing makes me happier than you . ’
‘ i love you and i do not want to love you , it is too much and too difficult . ’
‘ grief is just love with no place to go . ’
‘ i felt my life with both my hands to see if it was there . ’
‘ you do this , you do . you take the things you love and you tear them apart . ’
‘ i hope it’s love . i’m trying really hard to make it love . ’
‘ if you touch me again i might burn up in the cold air . ’
‘ i asked you not to leave several times . ’
‘ i’ve only adored you lifetimes ago and here we are . it’s nice to see you again . ’
‘ all time ever does is pass and all i ever do is remember . ’
‘ i feel as though we were never strangers , you and i , not even for a moment . ’
‘ i’d choose you ; in a hundred different lifetimes , in a hundred worlds , in any version of reality , i’d find you and i’d choose you . ’
‘ nothing about this is soft but we pretend . ’
‘ maybe you and i are just a dream . ’
‘ i know you loved me too , you knew me , and it gladdens my heart . ’
‘ i promise i shall never give up and that i’ll die yelling and laughing . ’
‘ i don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision . ’
‘ the world was made so that we could find each other in it . ’
‘ you don’t meet the people you love , you recognize them . ’
‘ i think you and i have known each other a few lifetimes . ’
‘ this body knows fear like a front porch knows welcome – it is always coming home . ’
‘ i miss you more than i remember you . ’
‘ if i could have done it all again , i would have loved you better . but i could not have loved you more . ’
‘ we could have been happy . i know that , and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know . ’
‘ you want a better story . who wouldn’t ? ’
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i’ve finally got an about page mostly complete for jessica including a handy summary at the bottom if you’re familiar with the character but want to know the changes on this blog.
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lcvesdeath:
“𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐀𝐌 𝐈 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔?” he snarked, half-irritated that he’d even tried for casual conversation today, but yori had left them alone together. something about the girl always coming in grumpy and drinking too much—- which wasn’t bucky’s place to judge, honestly. he didn’t care, it was just that the old man seemed hellbent on getting him coupled. a fucking joke, given who james barnes was NOW.
“i was just sayin’ how i tried the internet dating thing, and it’s for goddamn weirdos.”
it is what it is.
There’s a roll of her eyes at the sound of sensitive spoken words that leave his mouth, electing to ignore the question with a drink from her glass of bourbon. She lets him continue though, listening as he speaks before shaking her head at the sentence. “Look,” Her words pointed as she sets the glass down. “I’m not the best person to give relationship advice, or any advice at all if I’m being honest.”
And she was.
“But get the hell off those sites, you’ll only invite trouble into your life.” He didn’t seem like someone who needed more trouble invited into his life.
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open starter!
She didn’t care. She didn’t care. How had she not made that abundantly clear? And yet... “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
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tag drop!
visage — ⁞ ❝ maybe if i try long and hard maybe i can fool myself. ❞
musings — ⁞ ❝ i can repress feelings all day. ❞
headcanon — ⁞ ❝ you can’t fix me. i’m unbreakable. ❞
playlist — ⁞ ❝ your business is my business when i have to listen to it. ❞
likes — ⁞ ❝ it’s called whiskey. ❞
wants — ⁞ ❝ i don’t flirt i just say what i want. ❞
open starter — ⁞ ❝ i’m rude to everybody. ❞
wishlist — ⁞ ❝ what doesn’t kill us makes us stranger. ❞
self-promo — ⁞ ❝ my greatest weakness? occasionally i give a damn. ❞
meme — ⁞ ❝ you know why i live alone? ❞
answered meme — ⁞ ❝ people distract me. ❞
closed starter — ⁞ ❝ aren’t relationships great? ❞
interactions — ⁞ ❝ i usually like a little more romancing. ❞
psa — ⁞ ❝ crap ass luck. ❞
OOC — ⁞ ❝ if you want to yell or hug it out i’m here. ❞
promo — ⁞ ❝ i choose you everyday. ❞
timeline — ⁞ undetermined.
timeline — ⁞ season one.
timeline — ⁞ defenders.
timeline — ⁞ season two.
timeline — ⁞ season three.
timeline — ⁞ after the blip.
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