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repressfeelings · 1 year
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some angst idk y’all i like crying
“  i don’t want you here.  just go.  ” 
“  you ‘didn’t mean to hurt me?’  yeah you did.  like it or not,  i know exactly who you are.  ” 
“  why won’t you even look at me?  ”
“  i’m not angry at you.  i’m angry with myself for trusting you.  ”
“  i wish you’d stop trying to destroy yourself in some misguided effort to feel worthy.  ”
“  i know it’s not fair to say this,  but i don’t have anything without you.  if i don’t have you i have nothing.  ”
“  you can’t love me.  not the way i need to be loved.  ”
“  i’m broken.  and i don’t need anyone to try to feed me white lies about it.  something inside me is broken and it isn’t just going to be put back like it was.  ” 
“  sometimes being broken isn’t about trying to put things back together like they were before.  it’s about picking up what pieces are left and building something new.  ”
“  okay,  so you’re a monster.  so am i.  lets be monsters together.  ” 
“  because of what they/you did i’m damaged.  ”  
“  what the hell is wrong with you?  ”
“  what the hell is wrong with me?  ”
“  i can’t fix you.  you can’t expect me to know how to fix you.  ” 
“  yeah,  i’ll be here.  i’ll be here when you’re ready to stop running.  ”
“  my world is just falling apart.  it’s like everything is just crumbling around me.  i don’t know what to do.  i just want it to stop ”  
“  you’re the only thing that makes sense right now.  everything else is just—  the world is so loud.  and the only time it feels quiet is when you’re here.  ”
“  i don’t know how to talk about shit okay?  it’s too hard.  but i do care.  i need you to trust me that i care.  ”
 “  stop punishing yourself.  you wanna make up for what you’ve done?  get off your ass and do something about it.  ”
“  whatever it is you think was going on between us,  you’re wrong.  ”
“  it didn’t mean anything to me.  ” 
“  you should move on.  i did.  ”  
“  i feel like i’m one bad day away from becoming everything i’ve fought against.  ” 
“  stop pushing me away.  i’m not going anywhere,  asshole.  and as soon as you get that through that thick skull of yours,  the better.  ”  
“  i don’t need you in my life.  i don’t want you in it.  ”  
“  i can’t trust myself.  if i let myself get comfortable enough,  when i try to be happy,  people get hurt.  ”  
“  people like me don’t get to have peace.  ”  
“  i’m not the person you want.  i know you think i am.  but it won’t take long for you to realize this is a mistake.  ”  
“  you want the truth?  the truth is when i love people it burns inside me like a poison.  it infects every part of me until it feels like they’re in my goddamn soul…and then i fuck it up.  and it’ll destroy us both.  ”  
“  i’ll always choose you.  that’s the worst part of it all.  i’d choose you over and over, even though i know you wouldn’t do the same.  ”  
“  you never had to be perfect.  you just had to stay.  ”
“  will you please just stay for once.  just.  don’t walk away.  ” 
“  if i loved you less,  i might be able to talk about it more.  ”   
“  just tell me something real.  tell me something i can remember no matter what happens to us.  ”
“  when you look at me,  i feel seen.  i feel like you see past everything i’ve always surrounded myself with to try and protect my heart.  no one has ever looked that deeply at me.  ”  
“  how can you uncover so much about someone,  make them let their guard down and lay themselves bare to you.  and then just throw it all away?  ”
“  if you walk out that door don’t bother coming back.  ”
“  why are you so afraid of trusting this—  trusting us.  what’s making you hold back?  ”
“  will you still be here?  will you stay even after you’ve seen all the ugly parts of my heart.  ”  
“  i don’t care how willing you are to die for me.  i want you to fucking live with me.  live for us.  ” 
HURT/COMFORT
[ DISCOVER ] for one muse to find the other crying alone. 
[ COMPANY ] for one muse to sit with the other so they don’t have to be alone while they’re upset. 
[ EMBRACE ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one for their own comfort. 
[ OFFER ] for one muse to suddenly hug the other one to comfort them.
[ SETTLE ] for one muse to comfort the other and end up cuddling. 
[ SHOULDER ] for one muse to rest their head on the other’s shoulder while they comfort them. 
[ CARRY ]  for one muse to find the other injured and carry them to safety.
[ SECURE ] for one muse to carry the other to bed after they fell asleep. 
[ STRUGGLE ]  for one muse to resist being hugged but then break down and crumble against the other. 
[ CLEAR ] for one muse to wipe the other’s tears. 
[ BREAKDOWN ] for one muse to ask the other if they’re okay prompting them to finally stop bottling things up. 
[ BRUSH ] for one muse to run their fingers through the other’s hair while they open up or cry. 
[ NURSE ] for one muse to tend to the other while they’re recovering from injuries. 
[ TRUST ] for a scenario where sender’s muse is the only one receivers muse will let close. 
[ COAX ] for scenario where receiver’s muse knows they’re the only one sender’s muse will let close. 
[ CALM ] for one muse to subdue the other during an outburst. 
[ CLARITY ] for one muse to help ground the other back in the present  (i.e. after nightmare, breakdown, battle etc)
[ PREVENT ] for one muse to stop the other from going too far during a fight. 
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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vampireslasher​:
“A vampire bit a young man. He’s on the run and I need help finding him.” Blade commented.“ Can you help me, Jones?” He knew time was short and they needed to act fast before the young man bit someone.
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She grunts, in a very noncommittal way, as though she really has to think before agreeing to help him. And perhaps, for the smallest of seconds, she does have to think about if she’s going to help him. “You’re going to have to give more more to go on then that.” Jessica states, her head nodding, making it clear that she’ll help.
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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MARVEL TV APPRECIATION WEEK ★ DAY 1: FAV SHOW
JESSICA JONES
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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hi, hello. please press the heart if i can interest you in a little starter?
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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etherealbcings​:
@repressfeelings asked: are you lying to me ? - to the muse of your choice (:
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“i love how you automatically seem to assume i’m lying. do i look that dishonest?” maybe it’s not the best time for snarky comments, but xavier didn’t like the question that was asked when he had no reason to lie to the woman. “surprisingly, i’m being pretty damn honest right now which you’ll find is kind of rare for me since you know, i’m just an asshole that can’t be honest to save my life.”
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Her nose crinkles as she shrugs her shoulders in a noncommittal gesture. Did she think he was lying? No, probably not, but it wasn’t like she was going to admit that aloud. The question comes from a place of distrust that stems from years of being betrayed. “Do you want a cookie for doing the right thing?” Sarcasm leeches into her voice no matter how hard she tries to hold it back. Not that hard at all. “What did you see then?”
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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‘  you  want  a  better  story .  who  wouldn’t ?  ’ from frank! says @lcvesdeath
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It had been too easy, solving the case, getting the bad guy--taking them down. She wasn’t used to things being easy but now as she sat and watched from a rooftop with Castle, as their target was dragged away in handcuffs, there was a look of disbelief on her normally poised features. 
“Better?” A questioning tone as she tries to understand what he’s said.
Her head turns looking him over as the words register, already shaking in disagreement, her features morphing into frustration. “It’s never that easy.” She states with her head jerking to the scene below. “It’s never this easy.” Was it paranoia seeping into her veins from being so used to waiting for the other show to drop?
Jessica is uneasy as she looks away from him, turning her back on the scene below them all together putting the pieces together in her mind. She’s running through every clue, every thing they’ve done. What did they miss?
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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‘  a  child  weaned  on  poison  considers  harm  a  comfort .  ’ says @particlexxdealer​
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She hadn’t expected her case to cross paths with a literal avenger but here they were, her at her desk in Alias scrolling through a teenagers social media while Lang sat on her orange couch.  The missing kid in question happened to be friends with his daughter and rather than try to look separate it was just easier for them to work together. Well, it might have been easier on him, Jessica wasn’t quite sure that she was benefiting from having someone watching her every move.
She’s already looking at him when he speaks so the words don’t catch her entirely off guard as she grabs her glass of the desk and leans back into her chair. “You think her life was that bad?” Jessica asks, as though she doesn’t already know the answer, wondering maybe he might see a detail that she’s missing. At this point what could it hurt? “It all looks pretty good on her pages.” She states knowing that’s the image that people want to put out there, that they’re happy and nothings wrong.
“How long have you know her? What do you know about her life?”
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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lcvesdeath​:
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𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄? his therapist pretty much took that up as her job, despite how much bucky gave her hell for it. he doesn’t really listen to her, anyway. he’s been largely fumbling around, trying to make sense of the senseless things that have happened to him. he hasn’t come up with very many answers; although, being there for mr. nakajima feels like a fragile enough starting point.
( it’s not so much the advice that he wants, but rather a longing to feel at EASE after all the suffering he’s caused. )
unsurprisingly, there’s not much that jessica can tell him. looks like she’s running from something just as screwed up, as well.
“trust me, i will,” bucky grumbled, pale gaze dropping to the countertop of the bar. he’d lost his touch when it came to the dating world, for a number of reasons. not only was he carrying an ample amount of emotional BAGGAGE, but how was he supposed to trust again? he didn’t want to.
abruptly clearing his throat, he flicks open the menu. they might as well eat whilst they talk shit about their shitty love lives.
“you hungry? i’m buyin’—- and NOT in like a creepy way, okay? mr. nakajima tries to set me up with every pretty girl in my vicinity. it’s annoying.”
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Trouble was a funny thing though, because no matter how much he didn’t look like he needed it she wondered if it tended to bust down his door in the same way that it continued to hers. Trouble mixed with a lot of bad luck.
"Good.” A single word with a nod of her head as she finishes off the glass before her, setting it down with a sigh, eyes taking in the people in the bar before they land back on him studying him.
There’s a moment of hesitation where she considers him, considers the offer of food and his statement with a shake of her head, the glimmer of a smile crossing her lips. “Wouldn’t eating dinner with me be giving him false hope or some shit?” Not that it would stop her, Jessica Jones didn’t turn down a burger.   
“He must be getting pretty desperate to try and set you up with me. I’m pretty sure I’m his least favorite person.” Most shop owners didn’t like her though considering how often things around her got broken. She tended to be bad for business.
Settling a little further in her seat, her head tipping to her glass to let the barkeep know that she’ll take another glass. Her fingers skimming over the menu before picking it up, a sign to let him know ‘okay, i’ll stay’.
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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𝐚𝐬𝐤  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 :    𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔  𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔
‘  i’ll  find  you  again ,  wherever  we  end  up  next .  ’
‘  the  enormity  of  my  desire  disgusts  me .  ’
‘  please ,  one  more  kiss  in  the  kitchen  before  we  turn  the  lights  off .  ’
‘  i’ve  been  lost  but  i’m  here  now .  you’re  the  only  person  who  has  ever  been  able  to  find  me .  ’
‘  almost  dead  yesterday ,  maybe  dead  tomorrow ,  but  alive ,  gloriously  alive ,  today .  ’
‘  you  are  not  broken .  ’
‘  you  can  love  and  be  loved ,  despite  what  may  feel  like  the  eternally  brutal  nature  of  the  world .  ’
‘  i  did  violence  to  my  own  heart .  ’
‘  will  i  be  forgiven  for  the  sins  i  did  not  commit ,  but  created ?  ’
‘  i  would  never  kiss  anyone  who  doesn’t  burn  me  like  the  sun .  ’
‘  i  would  rather  break  the  world  than  lose  you .  ’
‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  in  a  few  lifetimes .  ’
‘  i  didn’t  know .  i  had  no  idea  how  greedy  my  heart  really  was .  ’
‘  is  that  why  the  idea  of  losing  you  torments  me  so  much ?  ’
‘  how  long  have  i  been  without  you ?  ’
‘  am  i  foolish  for  wanting  this ?  it  will  end  in  flames .  it  always  does .  ’
‘  sorry  about  the  blood  in  your  mouth .  i  wish  it  was  mine .  ’
‘  if  i  love  you ,  is  that  a  fact  or  a  weapon ?  ’
‘  tell  me  how  all  this ,  and  love  too ,  will  ruin  us .  ’
‘  and  you  realize  the  one  person  in  the  world  who  loves  you  isn’t  the  one  you  thought  it  would  be .  ’
‘  it  cannot  be  a  mistake  to  have  cared .  it  cannot  be  an  error  to  have  tried .  it  cannot  be  incorrect  to  have  loved .  ’
‘  finally ,  i  plead  guilty  of  adoring  you .  ’
‘  a  child  weaned  on  poison  considers  harm  a  comfort .  ’
‘  without  realizing ,  i  find  it  in  myself  that  i  cannot  stop  thinking  about  you .  ’
‘  tomorrow ,  when  i  wake  up ,  i  promise ,  i  will  be  better .  ’
‘  someone  has  to  leave  first .  this  is  a  very  old  story .  there  is  no  other  version  of  this  story .  ’
‘  when  i  imagine  myself ,  i  am  always  leaving .  i  couldn’t  draw  my  own  face  if  god  asked .  ’
‘  do  we  simply  stare  at  what’s  horrible  and  forgive  it ?  ’
‘  i  wanted  to  let  go  of  the  pain  even  though  it  was  the  last  thing  that  felt  alive  from  you .  ’
‘  have  i  endured  loneliness  with  grace ?  ’
‘  i’ll  be  your  slaughterhouse ,  your  killing  floor ,  your  morgue  and  final  resting ,  walking  around  with  this  bullet  inside�� me  ‘cause  i  couldn’t  make  you  love  me  and  i  am  tired  of  pulling  your  teeth .  ’
‘  and  then  my  soul  saw  you  and  kind  of  went ,  ‘ oh ,  there  you  are .  i’ve  been  looking  for  you . ’  ’
‘  sometimes  it  feels  like  someone  else  is  wearing  my  body .  ’
‘  i  spent  my  life  arguing  how  i  mattered  until  it  didn’t  matter .  ’ 
‘  who  knew  my  haven  would  be  my  coffin ?  ’
‘  dead  is  the  safest  i’ve  ever  been .  ’
‘  i’ve  never  been  so  alive .  ’ 
‘  you  know  what  i  was  gonna  tell  you  before ,  but  didn’t  have  the  nerve ?  you  got  your  name  written  all  over  me .  i  got  my  name  written  on  you ,  too .  ’ 
‘  you  already  are  something .  you  always  were .  and  you  still  have  time  to  be .  ’
‘  you  know  me  by  heart .  it  infuriates  me  that  you  know  me  by  heart .  ’ 
‘  why  am  i  waiting  for  you ?  hungering  and  thirsting  for  you  in  every  cranny  of  my  soul  and  even  in  my  ribs ?  ’ 
‘  you  came  with  a  handful  of  pain  and  a  smile  which  broke  the  ground  under  my  feet  as  the  earthquake  does  when  two  people  meet .  ’
‘  the  only  good  thing  is  that  i’m  getting  used  to  suffering .  ’
‘  the  return  to  time  was  not  my  choice .  ’
‘  we  are  built  to  live  inside  each  other .  this  means  we  are  built  to  ruin .  ’
‘  time  does  not  bring  relief ;  you  all  have  lied .  ’
‘  time  does  not  know  how  to  keep  our  hopes  safe .  ’
‘  you  needed  me  so  much  that  you  had  to  end  me .  ’
‘  there  are  days  where  i  am  morbidly  in  love  with  you ,  and  this  is  one  of  those  days .  ’
‘  i  know  no  end  to  desiring  you .  ’
‘  i  fear  that  i  am  both  too  much  yet  not  enough .  ’
‘  yes ,  yes ,  yes ,  i  do  like  you .  i  am  afraid  to  say  the  stronger  word .  ’ 
‘  a  heart’s  a  heavy  burden .  ’
‘  life ,  as  i  see  it ,  is  all  about  farewells  rather  than  reunions .  ’
‘  heaven  is  real  and  you  only  had  two  minutes  to  prove  it  to  me .  ’
‘  it  was  already  love .  ’
‘  everyone  desires  love  but  also  finds  it  impossible  to  believe  that  they  deserve  it .  ’
‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to .  ’
‘  i’ll  love  you  until  i  forget  how  to  and  then  i’ll  fall  like  my  knees  aren’t  already  bruised  from  doing  it  and  i’ll  remember  why  you’re  worth  the  ache .  ’
‘  of  course  i’ll  hurt  you .  of  course  you’ll  hurt  me .  of  course  we’ll  hurt  each  other .  but  this  is  the  very  condition  of  existence .  ’
‘  nothing  makes  me  sadder  and  nothing  makes  me  happier  than  you .  ’
‘  i  love  you  and  i  do  not  want  to  love  you ,  it  is  too  much  and  too  difficult .  ’
‘  grief  is  just  love  with  no  place  to  go .  ’
‘  i  felt  my  life  with  both  my  hands  to  see  if  it  was  there .  ’
‘  you  do  this ,  you  do .  you  take  the  things  you  love  and  you  tear  them  apart .  ’
‘  i  hope  it’s  love .  i’m  trying  really  hard  to  make  it  love .  ’
‘  if  you  touch  me  again  i  might  burn  up  in  the  cold  air .  ’
‘  i  asked  you  not  to  leave  several  times .  ’
‘  i’ve  only  adored  you  lifetimes  ago  and  here  we  are .  it’s  nice  to  see  you  again .  ’
‘  all  time  ever  does  is  pass  and  all  i  ever  do  is  remember .  ’
‘  i  feel  as  though  we  were  never  strangers ,  you  and  i ,  not  even  for  a  moment .  ’
‘  i’d  choose  you ;  in  a  hundred  different  lifetimes ,  in  a  hundred  worlds ,  in  any  version  of  reality ,  i’d  find  you  and  i’d  choose  you .  ’
‘  nothing  about  this  is  soft  but  we  pretend .  ’
‘  maybe  you  and  i  are  just  a  dream .  ’
‘  i  know  you  loved  me  too ,  you  knew  me ,  and  it  gladdens  my  heart .  ’
‘  i  promise  i  shall  never  give  up  and  that  i’ll  die  yelling  and  laughing .  ’
‘  i  don’t  do  anything  with  my  life  except  romanticize  and  decay  with  indecision .  ’
‘  the  world  was  made  so  that  we  could  find  each  other  in  it .  ’
‘  you  don’t  meet  the  people  you  love ,  you  recognize  them .  ’
‘  i  think  you  and  i  have  known  each  other  a  few  lifetimes .  ’
‘  this  body  knows  fear  like  a  front  porch  knows  welcome  –  it  is  always  coming  home .  ’
‘  i  miss  you  more  than  i  remember  you .  ’
‘  if  i  could  have  done  it  all  again ,  i  would  have  loved  you  better .  but  i  could  not  have  loved  you  more .  ’
‘  we  could  have  been  happy .  i  know  that ,  and  it  is  perhaps  the  hardest  thing  to  know .  ’
‘  you  want  a  better  story .  who  wouldn’t ?  ’
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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i’ve finally got an about page mostly complete for jessica including a handy summary at the bottom if you’re familiar with the character but want to know the changes on this blog. 
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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lcvesdeath​:
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“𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐀𝐌 𝐈 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔?” he snarked, half-irritated that he’d even tried for casual conversation today, but yori had left them alone together. something about the girl always coming in grumpy and drinking too much—- which wasn’t bucky’s place to judge, honestly. he didn’t care, it was just that the old man seemed hellbent on getting him coupled. a fucking joke, given who james barnes was NOW.
“i was just sayin’ how i tried the internet dating thing, and it’s for goddamn weirdos.”
it is what it is.
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There’s a roll of her eyes at the sound of sensitive spoken words that leave his mouth, electing to ignore the question with a drink from her glass of bourbon. She lets him continue though, listening as he speaks before shaking her head at the sentence. “Look,” Her words pointed as she sets the glass down. “I’m not the best person to give relationship advice, or any advice at all if I’m being honest.” 
And she was.
“But get the hell off those sites, you’ll only invite trouble into your life.” He didn’t seem like someone who needed more trouble invited into his life. 
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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open starter!
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She didn’t care. She didn’t care. How had she not made that abundantly clear? And yet... “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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i can control myself. i’m more powerful than you ever were.  ©
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repressfeelings · 1 year
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tag drop!
visage — ⁞ ❝ maybe if i try long and hard maybe i can fool myself. ❞ musings — ⁞ ❝ i can repress feelings all day. ❞ headcanon — ⁞ ❝ you can’t fix me. i’m unbreakable. ❞ playlist — ⁞ ❝ your business is my business when i have to listen to it. ❞ likes — ⁞ ❝ it’s called whiskey. ❞ wants — ⁞ ❝ i don’t flirt i just say what i want. ❞ open starter — ⁞ ❝ i’m rude to everybody. ❞ wishlist — ⁞ ❝ what doesn’t kill us makes us stranger. ❞ self-promo — ⁞ ❝ my greatest weakness? occasionally i give a damn. ❞ meme — ⁞  ❝ you know why i live alone? ❞ answered meme — ⁞  ❝ people distract me. ❞ closed starter — ⁞ ❝ aren’t relationships great? ❞ interactions — ⁞ ❝ i usually like a little more romancing. ❞ psa — ⁞  ❝ crap ass luck. ❞ OOC — ⁞ ❝ if you want to yell or hug it out i’m here. ❞ promo — ⁞ ❝ i choose you everyday. ❞ timeline — ⁞ undetermined. timeline — ⁞ season one. timeline — ⁞ defenders. timeline — ⁞ season two. timeline — ⁞ season three. timeline — ⁞ after the blip.
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