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realtalkingmum-blog · 5 years

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Real Talk From a New Mum

Firstly before I start, I just want to make it known that never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be ‘that mum’ I use the term ‘that mum’ for a couple of reasons; first being a mum who is writing a blog – i’ve always thought ‘oh here we go another blog, why do people write them? What are they trying to achieve bla bla bla’ and secondly being a vocal mum speaking out about her journey so far with motherhood. I know another blog on the subject right?! Which takes me back to my first point, although I do hope to have a different spin to what you may have read before because in no way shape or form am I going to make motherhood sound like a walk in the park – because it just isn’t and yesterday I had a realisation that has completely thrown me.

My beautiful son who I love with all of my heart is almost 5 months old. To be exact in 4 days he will be 5 months old – jeez where has that time gone?! Well let me tell you where; not sleeping, constantly worrying, mum guilts, cleaning, cleaning again, washing, more washing, researching and not buying anything for myself, oh wait did I mention worry, mum guilts and cleaning?

Today my day started with a sleep in. We were up three times last night so I broke all of the baby sleep rules and brought my son into bed with me. I got up, changed his nappy and got him dressed for the day, fed him, washed his bottles, put washing in the dryer, folded washing that was in the dryer, vacuumed the house, had a shower myself, got the nappy bag ready, got him into his car seat and we headed out to have a catch up with friends (we were 30 minutes late!) but hey, we made it there!! Oh I forgot to mention, while doing everything before I left the house, I heard a strange gurgling sound coming from the shower so I poked my head out the window to check if the drain was ok, sure enough the drain is overflowing with bubbles (which I assume was coming from washing bottles) and also toilet paper! EWWWWW! What a shitty start to my day. I called my husband, who called a Drain Layer to come out and unblock the drains and put a camera down there to see what’s going on. All I can see is dollar signs – I’ll update you on progress once I know more!

But, what made me start this post was, yesterday a major retailer was having a half yearly sale so I thought oh brilliant, were going to be starting solids soon so I’ll get a stick blender so I can make puree. You know how all the good mum’s make all their baby food and it all seems so organic? Well I feel like I should be one of those mums and to be honest I do want the best for my baby so I want to make the most nutritious food for him. Anyway, I was talking to my mum last night about the best brand of blender to get without spending a fortune or getting a bunch of attachments I don’t need considering we have a small house with limited storage. She asked me why I needed a stick blender and I said to puree baby food…it dawned on me right then and there..this is my life now! It goes from bottles, constantly washing bottles and sterilising bottles (if you aren’t exclusively breast feeding your baby) - don’t even get me started on the pressure to exclusively breastfeed your baby!) to the thought of having to cook your child every meal!!! 5 months in and I still haven’t got dinners sorted for us by the time hubby gets home – but why the pressure to have everything sorted by 5pm? I’m trying to tend to a 5 month old and I don’t have time to cook dinner as much as I’d love to sound like I’m a super mum. Am I failing as a mother? Am I no good at this mum gig? I don’t know what the answer is but all I can think about is when do I find the time to cook his meals? What if I don’t like cooking? What if I cant be bothered? Where do I get the energy from? I’m so gobsmacked that I’ve never heard anyone talk real like this before! Before you get all concerned, of course I will feed my baby and do everything he needs and more. I love him more than I could possibly love anything and he’s my absolute pride and joy but this is my life now. A lot of you are probably like duh! Feeding your child obviously is the main role of a parent with a baby and yea I get that but so much is involved in every step of a child’s development along with huge amounts of sleep deprivation, swollen eyes to boot, children having constipation (well mine does following a cold!), drain issues, cleaning the house, washing bottles (soon to be pots and pans) gosh when does it end? I guess that’s my point…it doesn’t and I don’t feel like I ever was told the raw truth of what being a mum involved.

While pregnant and trying to get pregnant, I thought of those winter months with a cute little baby, cuddles on the couch, coffee dates you know all the good stuff? I thought oh yeah people say you’re tired but I’ll just sleep on the couch with my baby, it’ll be great! Well, what I didn’t think of or wasn’t aware of was what if your baby doesn’t sleep when you’re exhausted and falling asleep, what if they’re ready to play? What if you have your midwife coming for an appointment or a doctor’s appointment, what if you have people coming to visit and your house is a mess, what if you haven’t touched your garden in 5 months and you’re completely embarrassed of the state of your house? What if your baby completely misses a sleep cycle and you’re frantically trying to get up to date with washing and fold washing to make room for new washing so you have clothes for the baby? Oh and yourself! On that, what about the issues that happen to you as a mum after giving birth? What if you need to walk your dog? That’s right I also have a dog! Oh and all of this along with teaching your baby how to sleep and re-settling and not holding your baby too much, or rocking them to sleep or creating bad sleep habits for the baby gosh the list just goes on! But now on top of all of this, the added job of making food too!! With that goes the admin of researching high chairs, and all the right and best products you should be using for the next big step in their development. Did you know there are certain spoons which are better to use than others? I didn’t! Oh did I mention the money that goes into buying all they need? So there’s car seats, clothes for when they’re bigger, things for safe sleeping, sleep sacks, transition sleeping sacks, bottles, teets as they grow, teething toys, products for wind, osteo appointments, books, baby sensory classes…!!

You know how I mentioned at the start no longer buying things for yourself? You can now see why! I have the thought of me going back to work in two months (which I’ll talk about in another post) but how am I supposed to fit food into the agenda with going back to work thrown in the mix too?

My point is, let’s start talking real. They say it takes a village to raise a child and that couldn’t be more accurate. People need to know the truths about mum life, not that I would’ve changed a single thing and not that its all about expenses however, I would’ve made sure I brought more stuff while on two incomes and made sure I was for more prepared especially mentally! Everyone is different and this shouldn’t make me viewed as a bad and unloving mum,because i’m not. Perhaps a little naïve coming into motherhood perhaps I didn’t do enough research or perhaps people don’t want to tell you the truth to put you off the greatest experience and journey of all time? I do love my little man so it makes all the hard graft so worth it!

Also, the drain layers have just been and turns out it was tree roots growing into the pipes which will happen again too….great!!

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