professional-apotheosis

[professional-apotheosis]

"Cry me a river and drown in it" has got to be one of the worst thoughts I've had since developing empathy as a child, but I'm so proud of it, and I can't make it go away

#shitpost

[professional-apotheosis]

By Tanja Askani

[professional-apotheosis]

[professional-apotheosis]

"kill them with kindness!" wrong. gum gum gatling 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

[professional-apotheosis]

reblag this poast to hydraulic press your mutuals

[professional-apotheosis]

Having an internal monologue is exhausting because if I don't keep it occupied it will go off on the weirdest things, and I can never unthink those thoughts.

Like, did you know cyanide is made from apple seeds? Who was unlucky enough to figure that out? I imagine someone was probably trying to make a little tea and just fucking died instead. And now I'm sad. Apple tea human didn't deserve to die.

#rant #shitpost

[professional-apotheosis]

I think it's truly unfortunate that we landed on "I can be a bother as much as I want on public property, because it belongs to me as much as you" instead of "I would never be a bother on public property, because it belongs to you as much as it does me"

[professional-apotheosis]

girls in suits reblog if u agree

[professional-apotheosis]

Serj: They should invent joints that don't hurt. Shavo: How the fuck are you smoking them that they hurt? Shavo: Oh shit, do you mean like bones?

[professional-apotheosis]

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

[professional-apotheosis]

You were born of a sacrilegious union. Your green dragon mom never figured the knight she seduced while masquerading as a noblewoman was a silver dragon in disguise. You’d no idea either, born a human orphan. When your dragon blood awoke, so did the dangers which all your heritage entails.

[professional-apotheosis]

NO THERAPIST CAN DEFEAT ME 100000 MENTAL ISSUES NO COPING TECHNIQUES I AM EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION WOMAN

#no therapist can defeat me #slain by psychoanalyst

[professional-apotheosis]

(guy who acts weird in real life already) no one can know i act weird on the internet

[professional-apotheosis]

Bonus if you list the artists in the tags 👀

#the village people (lol) #flyleaf #seether #exodus #megadeth #gemini syndrome #favorite was gemini BY FAR #3 shows total

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I should be feared

Not because I'm like evil or malevolent or violent or anything

I'm just clumsy as fcuk

#shitpost #clumsy #fear me #accidental villainy

[professional-apotheosis]

[professional-apotheosis]

Actually, let's make this another joint poll! While my patrons are picking *what* to animate, the rest of you pick a character