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ponkotsu-android · 6 years

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Comment s’appelle un garçon français qui porte des sandales?

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ponkotsu-android · 6 years

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#ignore

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ponkotsu-android · 6 years

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#ignore this

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ponkotsu-android · 6 years

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#just ignore

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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i made a mistake

i counted how many months i have left til i’m done with school

til i have to make big decisions

and now i’m in panic mode

and i’m just hiding in the past

and by that i mean i’m listening to music that takes me to a certain point in life

i know that to become i have to let go of certain things

but i don’t wanna let go

i love the things

but i also want to give who i could become a chance to be loved

i know i look like i have my future figured out

like i know what i want

i don’t

i know what i want

what i don’t know is if i’m ready to sacrifice what must be sacrificed

i faked it and i’m about to make it

and i’m not ready

i have been through this before

and just as last time

my inner me is in fetal position

covering her ears

shutting her eyes tight

wailing

#8 months #i have to feel this for 8 more months #just 8 more months

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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That's not how it works You can't tell me you love me when you think I'm angry to fix things

#im sorry #i know he doesnt like saying it in the first place #but if i let him use it multiple times hell just keep saying it when it suits him #i quit human interactions #im just gonna hide for a week or 52

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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Had my first completely solo session at work today >

#I was a bit anxious as i always am XD #but it ended okay and he looked like he knew how to start from there #i just really love my job #it's a yarigai ga aru kind of job #oh also talked to male boss #told him about all my shinpais #left his office with lots of anshins #and lady boss is back yay #just seeing her there makes me feel safe XD

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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I love working where I work, it's just hard to find the correct balance between hand holding and abandonment But that's why I have someone observing me, so that they can give me feedback, and step in if I need help Bur that's going bye bye soon After Friday I might be on my own at last

#i think I'm just a bit anxious #but I do understand that this is what the traini #OMG I UNDERSTAND THE FISH MARKET RESTAURANT STORY NOW #i need to talk to one of my supervisors (or maybe just a trainer) on Friday #personurr

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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Note to self: No more energy drink

#im nauseous and my eyes are twitching and i cant focus on nearby objects and iys almost 3 am #i mean #i got everything thay i needed to ve done done before laying down to sleep #but iy is not worth it #itbis nit worth it #personurr

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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sometimes i’ll remember little things about kyoto and get really sad

like that one hill i could never bike through so i stopped going that way, except this one day during spring either fj-san or sw-san was like, let’s take the hill, and it turns out there were lots of sakura trees on the path and the petals were falling like snow and we came out of there covered in them

and speaking of sakuras, that one time i was walking near kamogawa in the dark and there were sakura trees but i couldn’t see them but i smelled them and then i got really hungry because my mind was like, sakura flavored food!!!!

or just walking past ninnaji and seeing all the people taking pictures and not appreciating it enough cuz i saw it twice a day XD still love you ninnaji though, you was my first temple

i miss kawaramachi and kyoto station, when i was like, i’m sick of this mountain, i need civilization

i miss 1 am trips to maccas and the konbinis too

i miss walking in to random hyaku en shops because hey, hyaku en shops, like the one near where i was taking ikebana or all the ones on teramachi and kawaramachi or all the daisos and serias in any way near my path

i miss coolish and kirin milk tea and gyomu teas and the little wagashi shop near fukuoji and umeno tonkatsu (oh god i almost forgot the name it’s fading from my memory D: ) and jumbo okonomiyaki (totally forgot okonomiyaki) and chifaja and sukiya and that really cheap yakiniku place whose name i could never remember because it’s a bunch of numbers... 298 YAKINIKU that’s the name

i just really miss kyoto

#personurr

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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Him: ~say something I'm giving up on you~ Me: SOMETHING wooooooooooooooooooooo there I saved it Him: woooo Me: wait really? You'd give up on me? Him: only if you give up on me

#well shit #i dun wanna give up on you ;_;#for remembers

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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(..)

#but i really don't wanna stop being friends #ya feel

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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i am a bad person or2

him: go to bed me: serenade me him: no, you’re being a brat me: okay then bye him: no wait, i don’t wanna end on a bad note me: okay, tell me you love me him: you know you do *mumble mumble* you know i do me: daaawwwwww okay good night

#putting this here for remembers and stuff #i know he doesnt like saying it and i kinda pressured him into it #i kind of expected him to tell me to fuck off #he started tripping over his words #happens often when talking about love #sorry bruh #i really was being a brat #god i feel like shit and i have to stop this but i dont want to stop talking to him because it makes me happy but its also very very wrong #i need time

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ponkotsu-android · 8 years

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