peoplelivinginmyhead

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

end of an era

Whumptober 2023

No. 2:  “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

Homebrew dnd world, dragons and gods and everything trapped in between.

“They don’t care about you. You know that, right?”

“I know.” The figure was barely a whisper at the window. Their outline was shaky, disappearing then reappearing constantly, like it couldn’t decide whether it existed at all.

“Then why are you still here?” A shadow moved through the room. The last acolyte of the fading god was almost as incorporeal as her master. “I’ve heard the news.”

It would have been easy to miss them for anyone who wasn’t tied to any of the old gods, but all the acolytes knew about it. Gods disappearing, sometimes without a word, sometimes leaving one last message for their faithful. All the messages were the same.

The gods of this world couldn’t protect their people from the dangers of the extradimensional, not like the dragons did. And now, that the dangers they used to keep at bay weren’t a problem anymore, crushed under gleaming claws and melted in fire breaths their people didn’t want or need them. They turned to the dragon gods, extradimensional beings whose divinity was widely debated but their results were undeniable.

The acolyte thought it was foolish. Dragons protected, yes, but they weren’t the ones nurturing this world from its infancy.

And still.

She was expecting her god to follow all the others for years now, to go wherever they left. Some said they faded for good as their believers died out, some said they left the ungrateful world behind and went back to where they came from.

And still, the god of night remained.

“They might not care, I do,” they said now.

“What are you going to do?”

She knew she didn’t need to add the subtext. What can you do? Gods only had so much power over the mortal world without the belief of their followers.

“Come and look.”

She went to the window. The city stretched before them, one of the last places of the world without a dragon to protect it. It was going to change soon, she knew.

“What am I looking at?”

“Look.”

She sighed but obeyed. There was nothing out of the ordinary, even the form of the dragon on the horizon that was… flying towards them.

“Is it time?” she asked quietly, watching the wings closing in.

“Not quite.”

She looked at the god. Were they… smiling?

“Stay here,” they said, their voice folding and rising, filling the air around them. “Guard this place until the day comes for our return. Malajhanerith’s wings will keep you and me both.”

Darkness flowed around her. She breathed it in, it was cold and fresh, like the air after snow. The dragon above started to descend, its pale emerald-silver wings covered the sky.

The darkness didn’t fade. It extended, covering the tower, the city, the land. It flowed into the eyes of those who looked up at the sky, stole into every crack in the walls.

The dragon landed on the mountain the tower was standing on and the last acolyte of the darkness smiled.

#whumptober 2023 #no.2 #they don't care about you #dnd

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Anvaere Damodred the character you are.

#dont mind me i just have some locking up my own son bc hes a traitor and wanted to kill my sister in my eye #just. the absolute belief that yes moiraine will leave #but she will be right about it #and yes shes a scheming noble and probably did more backstabbing than your average serial killer #and manipulated anyone and everyone including her own family no problem #but when it came to it she showed up

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

I made the executive decision to fuck off into dragon age for the rest of the day see ya

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Two of my mutuals suddenly following and reblogging from each other brings me so much joy. Yes. I have good taste. I was a good blog-matchmaker.

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Tumblr is a dumpster fire of a website but at least I don't have to mute people to avoid seeing their LIKES

#why is that even a thing on twitter #if i follow someone i want to see their tweets and retweets #not their likes???

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Stalking a horror game tag on tumblr is the ultimate catastrophe tourism

There is everything from your usual "liking villains means you condone *checks notes* torture and murder irl" to the most galaxy brain takes of "actually the protag is eeeevil bc he kills PEOPLE!!4! (said villains who do all the torture and murder)", with some unsuspecting souls in between who still believe they can convince these people that their arguments are batshit

It's hilarious

#yes this is about resi8 #tumblr purism vs horror #is extremely funny

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

My DM, who has been hyperfixating on the whole Evergreen thing, just told us that “our one-shot is gonna be evergreen-stuck-on-suez-canal inspired”

#ok LISTEN #dnd

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

I know I'm not with the Times but if I see "bestie" one more time I will scream

#you do you #just... do it somewhere else #its one of the very few slangs that make my skin crawl #idk why #it harmless but still drives me crazy

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Eulogy

My grandfather died on the Saturday before Easter.

I can’t really say I’ll miss him - not because I didn’t love him or anything, but because there is not a lot to miss. He loved us, don’t get me wrong, but he was an unapologetic workaholic his whole life. He was greatly respected, worked for the national pharmatic research, worked for the WHO, taught classes at a university and was the head of their division. Whatever he could know, he did. It was insane.

It didn’t leave much room for anything else, though.

His hobby was his work, his religious obligations (he was Calvinistic) and the collecting of… a lot of things. He had a Bible collection with truly impressive pieces, up to 100. He filled multiple albums with his beer label collection. He had quite a few valuable coins, too - he didn’t study that field, but he liked them. And he loved cats. A lot.

His collections were meticulously organized, but for everything else… creative chaos is a way to describe it. He didn’t pay much attention to anything that wasn’t related to his work or hobbies, leaving that to my grandma. (It will be absolute hell to gather his stuff. Don’t even mention it.) He knew where to look, but nobody else did. He treated his finances similarly, he got paid from multiple sources, to multiple bank accounts, it’s a mess.

He had a very weird sense of humor, we all inherited it.

He wasn’t one to freely express his emotions without it turning awkward. He didn’t like all the attention he got from his work - he wanted to do the work, not to be appreciated for it. He would absolutely hate the attention and memoirs he’s getting now, but then… it’s not like it can bother him anymore.

I’m told I’m similar to him in many ways. I don’t mind it, even if those are really basic ways.

He was a strange man. He didn’t like doctors. He didn’t like to think about death, or bad things that could happen in the future. He took the time for his work, his family and his collections, in this order.

My sister was sad we couldn’t say goodbye. I think it was better this way. He would have hated it, it would have been incredibly stilted and awkward. I would have hated it for sure. It would have felt artificial, just some weird act. We weren’t like that.

It was better this way, the way he went, too. He was paralyzed - not being able to do anything would have destroyed both him and my grandma. I’m not saying this to be positive, I truly think it was better like this. I can’t imagine him not doing what he did his whole life. I don’t think he wants me to.

So this is my weird way of saying goodbye. Goodbye to a strange man who loved his work but loved us, too. Goodbye to the most ridiculously stereotypical absentminded professor I’ve ever known.

The cats are fine, getting spoiled. Your collections… I don’t know what we’ll do with them, but we’ll either donate or sell them I guess, to someone who can appreciate it. All your work will live on, that’s up to people who can actually understand a single word from it because I sure don’t. I might not choose to live a life you would agree with, but I’ll live the life I choose to myself, and that’s really in line with your line of thinking, I feel.

I really wish you were a bit more organized because sorting all this out will be a nightmare, but it’s not like I can say a word, myself.

And I’ll keep on making bad jokes.

We’ll meet again. In the meantime - speak for us on the other side.

Rest in peace.

Tamás

1943-2021

#tw death #death mention #paralysis mention

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Vaguetweeting when the people it's about follow you is such a weird flex...

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Tbh I'm not remotely offended by lil nas x making funny campy music videos with the devil in them. I'm just a little annoyed by edgelords going "ha this will destroy Christianity!" like there arent millions of LGBTQ Christians all over the globe

#what i said #just more eloquent #agreed

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

I mean the video is whatever but it sure helped to make both the "religious lgbt+ people are just brainwashed idiots with self-hatred" and the "see, Gays Are From Hell" crowd be incredibly visible. Which I'm sure is useful in a way, but I'm not necessarily a fan of being reminded for example that incident when I talked about being interested in some new piece done by a priest in a famously tolerant group and getting told by a friend that "haha it's christian, why would you want to read it". Or anytime being faced my well-meaning but clueless mom getting horrified because "the Gay Community is doing [openly anti-christian thing]" and knowing I can't explain all the nuance behind the situation without outing myself.

So... video, who cares. Response, not a fan of.

#personal #dont reblog

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

I'll mark it up as Character Development that I got to a level of self-awareness where I can tell my dramatic bitch instincts to sleep one on it and see if I still think the same... (spoiler alert: no, usually i don't xD)

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

me: wants to interact with friend so looks through my liked posts for shareable memes

also me: has those posts mostly liked by... you guessed it... same friend’s tumblr

I need to get less pathetic

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

My brain always goes distraction first when something happens and while that's a coping mechanism that's worked for me so far it also makes me look like a heartless bitch and that's hardly ideal

(Oh yeah and by the time it runs out I've already convinced everyone that I don't care, that's fun too)

(...this defense mechanism is so stupid)

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

Sometimes the attitudes surrounding Nanowrimo are completely baffling to me. Like okay, you get stressed/overwhelmed, and your brain turning into mush by the last week is kind of a given when writing this much. But if it reaches "haha, yeah I completely destroy my mental health every november and get so stressed I'm horrible to the people around me" then... don't do it??? Set a smaller goal? Do it casually? Something??

#nano #yeah ill have a mental bteakdown by week 3 is not a good look #how can it be worth it?

[peoplelivinginmyhead]

#krausenatti be like