(I think the best part is they would have this conversation but at the end of the day still absolutely be there for each other… albeit with a lot of bickering)
Cat Chant would absolutely use the weaselly Matthew Swift strategy of wearing clothes that make him look like gardening staff and showing up to his own appointments like "Chrestomanci? Oh yes, the big boss. I've met him personally once or twice, frankly he's quite a terrifying person. But I'm just the man they've hired to solve the problems the big boss can't be bothered with, you don't need to worry about me"
Duplicitous; or, In which there is twice as much Howl as usual
Title: Duplicitous; or, In which there is twice as much Howl as usual
Length: 1/1 chapters | 2,145 words
Fandom: Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types, Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sophie Hatter & Howl Pendragon
Teaser: "Sophie was interrupted by a terrible shriek from the castle. A shriek which immediately filled her mind with visions of green slime. She had seen enough of that stinking slop to last a lifetime. Several lifetimes, in fact. Whatever had caused this tantrum, it would have to be nipped in the bud. She ran."
Daw dewin mis Mai heb ei weled, fin nos
Gan wasgar ei liwiau ar weirglodd a rhos
Bydd heulwen y bore yn dawnsio ar dwyn,
A daw ar adenydd lawenydd i lwyn.
Bu Ionawr yn greulon a garw fu'r hin,
A Chwefror yn chwipio ei fflangell yn flin
Daw cywion yr helyg fis Mawrth i'r hen goed
A briallu yn Ebrill - daeth Gwanwyn i'w oed
Er oered fo'r eira, er garwed fo'r gwynt
Er byrred ei rwysg bydd yr haf ar ei hynt
Mewn byd sy’ mor gymysg o fethiant neu fai,
Rhyw awr o Baradwys yw mwynder mis Mai
My English translation
The wizard of May works unseen in the night
Filling meadow and moorland with colors so bright
With soft dappled sunlight that dances at dawn
When on wings of joy merry May Day is drawn
January was cruel and harsh with its snow
February, wind whipping, did angrily blow
In March, little birds in the old trees were born
And primroses in April brought winter to scorn
Though cold snow and rough wind may tarry too long
Though summer be brief in its splendor and song
Though failure and fault plague the world to this day
An hour of Paradise we find in sweet May
—
This song was the inspiration for my fanfiction Calan Mai; or In which Howl goes Maying (which you can read at that link on Ao3). The concept of May as a wizard filling the land with flowers immediately made me think of Howl. I’ve only just started learning Welsh but I do love poetry and linguistics, and I tried my best to piece together a translation with a lot of help from the dictionary. I did take a few creative liberties for the sake of preserving rhythm and rhyme scheme.
And HERE is a beautiful rendition of the song in the original Welsh.
Why they deserve to be the ultimate wizard according to YOU:
Gandalf:
Vanquished (so far): Saruman, Tom Bombadil
"Big naturals"
“No other wizards shall pass him”
“Codified the wizard trope in modern western literature. You've read LotR. You know this."
“Its Gandalf"
Howl:
Vanquished (so far): Hughie, Moraine
“The DRAMA. the absolute IDIOCY. the fact that he's just a welsh postdoc who just went to another world and did tax evasion”
“*pointing accusingly* this man made me understand genderenvy”
“He's the perfect balance between pathetic man and scarily powerful wizard. When he accidentally colors his hair a shade he doesn't like he gets so upset because he isn't "beautiful" anymore and sees no reason to live, and it leads to him summoning the souls of the dead. He's sweet, cruel, mysterious and hot as hell!”