panofdepression

[panofdepression]

I can’t believe i was able to make this edit 😭

#niall horan #solo niall #niall the show #cute niall #niall horan on tour #the show live on tour #the show niall horan #niall horan edit #the show Germany #germany #one direction #niall 1d #1d #one direction edit

[panofdepression]

#bpd #bpd life #borderline culture is #actually borderline #girl interrupted #living with bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd stuff

[panofdepression]

What a shitty feeling… how lucky you must be to be amongst your friends and truly feel like you fit in… to not feel like an outsider… to not be the only one left out of the subtle glances and inside jokes…

How shitty it feels… when you realise you’re completely alone and these people are basically strangers to you…

It’s so depressing that you can’t control the overwhelming emotions that hit you like a fucking brick…

To be so absolutely and painfully lonely….

I’ve been crying in my car for the past 30 minutes, bawling my eyes out and my chest just fills with more and more despair…

What a shitty feeling…

#bpd #bpd life #actually borderline #living with bpd #bpd mood

[panofdepression]

How come, when I’m having a full blown hysteric breakdown, i realise that I literally don’t have a single person to talk to ? “What about your boyfriend?” ITS ABOUT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND! How come I’m always the one who ends up looking like an overdramatic crazy person? How come when I’m finally going bonkers, he says “i was joking. Why can’t you take a joke and ignore me?” HOW COME!

HOW CAN I NOT HAVE A SINGLE FUCKING PERSON TO TALK TO ?

Im not crazy. Im not overreacting. It’s not BPD. Im not fucking crazy!

IM SO FUCKING ANGRY!

#bpd #bpd life #living with bpd #bpd sucks

[panofdepression]

Kitty masterpost

[panofdepression]

When you’re studying NG tube for osce and suddenly your body re-enacts the same way it felt when an ng tube was inserted on you during OD… FUN

#bpd #living with bpd #od

[panofdepression]

May Update:

I overdosed on 14th and had a stomach cleanse

I was disappointed i survived

I had to go to the police station and fill out a form saying that if i abuse drugs again I’ll be arrested since I’m a medical student :)

I watched my parents fight over why i was trying to unalive myself as i was limp and lying in the hospital

I’ve been off SSRIs since the OD because i might get serotonin syndrome

I’ve been losing my mind because of withdrawal

I’ve been numb and feel so abandoned and unwanted

My boyfriend is sick of me and doesn’t even feel like talking to me

I burned my hand because i was so frustrated and done with my boyfriend criticising everything i do

My friends are worried about me but I couldn’t care less about them and don’t want to talk to any of them

I hate everyone and everything

I sleep all day and don’t go back to uni or study or do anything

I either binge eat all day or starve because I don’t have the energy to get out of bed

I’m reading The Bell Jar again because i like having someone i relate to.

Let’s go bitches ✌️

#bpd life #bpd vent #bpd sucks #living with bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd

[panofdepression]

I hate having extreme frivolous feelings over stupid things. I hate my black and white thinking. I hate that I cry when he doesn't text me back. I hate that I always feel abandoned. I hate that I feel heartbroken when I can't see him. I hate that I always feel like the world is against me. I hate that I can't let myself be happy.

I hate that I have the life I do.

[panofdepression]

[panofdepression]

Pup interrupts soccer match, gives interview.

[panofdepression]

I redid this older comic I made for my storytelling class based on this post. Have some cute wlw love in your day.

It’s hard, if I had more free time I could make it so pretty, this is what I could throw together for the assignment.

[panofdepression]

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

[panofdepression]

new stickers just came in! a bit more setting up to do and ill be opening an etsy shop to sell these (among other stuff) :)

[panofdepression]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[panofdepression]

[panofdepression]

So i got my first Enby hate comment because of my pronouns in my bio… IM A TRUE ENBY XHNSNS

UPDATE:

#this shit is so funny #i feel so honored #lgbt pride #gay pride #enby memes #enby #they/she #pronouns #cis people are crazy

[panofdepression]

hi welcome to my rwrb dump

okay bye