our-genderfluid-experience

[our-genderfluid-experience]

I go through phases where I am 100% sure that I'm a trans man and then I get a sudden thought of like "you know what maybe I can exist in this body with my birth name and maybe I can deal with the she/her pronouns. ". On some days I really like my body, I don't just "deal with it" like I do with the feminine terms people use for me (that's always annoying). Since my body dysphoria fluctuates heavily I'm wondering: Is this what being genderfluid is?

Online I use a fake name and they/them pronouns but I've been debating coming out to my friends and family & ask them to use a different name and he/him pronouns for me. But I don't know. Because sometimes things feel right as they are now. (Or at least they feel "not wrong enough to change anything")

Any advice maybe?

It sounds like genderfluid to me, and if you feel comfortable using the term genderfluid to describe yourself, then you're genderfluid. Welcome to the club dude!

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[our-genderfluid-experience]

hey

Tw: toxic perceptions ig

So i've been figuring my gender out lately and it's a soup, to put it that way

I mostly feel neutral, usually, like I don't think of myself as anything.

But then the way others perceive me shows up (im afab) and ohhh holy crap

I have a rather androgynous presentation and... yeah people get judgy( 'come on you're a girl!! Act like it!') And thats when I realise: no im not a girl

But there are also days when i dont care and just go "yeah i could"

And then there are days when I snap, hearing that.

And then there's also genderfuck culture and me loving to play around with my presentation and sometimes I just dunno anymore

I want to be able to show up like a freaking masc vagabond one day, all overshirts and layers and cargo loose jeans and stubble

Then I want a nice tight classy red dress and makeup and roses and dancing and stuff

The problem here might be with gender roles i learned/ i could be nonconforming cis and thats it

It's so confusing idk anymore

Identity basis: im fucked up I dunno

Now, ik this is messy and im sorry if it's triggering and I didn't mark it correctly

But opinions?

Also some fashion tips plssss

Tyssm

I feel you match the label genderfluid pretty well, but if that doesn't feel comfortable to you, my look into genderflux, or identities along that nature.

Some fashion tips: Sports bras if you can't get binders. I only recommend wearing two at once if you're going to wear more than one, but they make your chest look smaller. Also BAGGY SHIRTS. Baggy shirts are your best friend for chest dysphoria. You can also look up some makeup tutorials to look more masculine if you do makeup. I don't really get bottom dysphoria, so I don't know how to help there, but I hope the rest of the post was helpful

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #thanks for the ask! #send asks #lgbtq

[our-genderfluid-experience]

ive been introduced to ena (animated youtube series) and omg the titular character is literally genderfluid voice goals,, switches pitch at the drop of a hat and honestly im so relieved to know that it can sound not awkward and actually pretty cool

now for actually following through with voice training.. (if anyone has any tips for this kind of "dynamic" voice goal feel free 2 share)

I'll have to watch that series. It seems cool. I don't try to change my voice, but if anyone has any tips feel free to share

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon

[our-genderfluid-experience]

am i still trans if i dont like hate my genitals or the body i was born with exactly but i do wish sometimes it was different.. but at the same time the way i express my masculinity is more in line with stereotypically not masc? like makeup, rockstar hair, accessories. idk sometimes i have the feeling i might be just faking it and wanting attention

You are not faking it. You can be trans without having dysphoria. You don't need to fit into the gender binary. You can present however you want

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #lgbtq #anon ask #anon #transmen #trans #transmasc

[our-genderfluid-experience]

This might end up being a kind of long ask but I need to provide context for my question.

I’ve been thinking of starting HRT, but I’m a little nervous about it causing a paradigm shift in my gender. Is this a thing that you or anyone else has experience with? Do you experience gender and fluidity differently before vs after HRT?

For context, I like to imagine my gender as occupying two “layers” where different genders live on different layers. Genders that are on the same layer can interact and combine, while genders that are on different layers have basically no influence on each other. Each layer varies in what gender(s) it has and how strongly, to the extent that I don’t always detect something on one or both of them. Fluidity within this framework is common, but I’m not sure if HRT would cause an external paradigm shift.

Personally, I don't plan on going on HRT (that might change in the future), so I'm gonna be honest, probably not the best to ask this to, but there is definitely a chance that you starting HRT could cause a paradigm shift could change your gender identity (I assume that what you mean when when you say gender because the whole thing with HRT is that it changes your testosterone/estrogen levels, which could change how you look), but it might not change you identity at all. It will probably just make you less dysphoric

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #thanks for the ask! #send asks #lgbtq #hrt

[our-genderfluid-experience]

Inspired by @wrylu

Hope you don’t mind, it just hit me with an inspiration ^^.

The original of @wrylu and the video with the process of drawing under the cut.

I may colour it further if I have enough strength to do so and if Vincent wants to see the coloured version.

[our-genderfluid-experience]

Here's a link for some info on tucking: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/tucking

recently had the crisis and came to terms with being genderfluid.

Any advice for dysphoria or figuring things out???

I'm afab, so with chest dysphoria: sports bra and baggy shirts if you can't get a binder. Personally, I don't get bottom dysphoria, but you could Google how to pack (I think that's what it's called). I know you can use socks, but that's all I know. I never really looked into it.

If you're amab, I don't really know how to help, but I'll try to find some stuff, and I'll reblog it. If you want to wear makeup but you're closeted, you can buy clear lip gloss and mascara for a start. You could also get some eyeliner, which goes really well with a grudge/punk/emo aesthetic

For figuring things out, just go with the flow. Wear what feels comfortable. Use whatever pronouns feel right. You might have days where it feels like nothing fits right, whether it be labels, your clothes, your pronouns, etc. but you just need to focus on doing what makes you the happiest

[our-genderfluid-experience]

im in the closet and so is my bi bff. im genderfluid/pan and sometimes we joke about coming out to our parents (mostly me) but doubt itll ever happen due to how religious it would be (sometimes i dream about it tho... maybe more than her idk) and hypothetically just think about cutting everyone off and flying out to avoid the backlash (just being silly) and the "interventions" of spiels of how gays go to hell and God wouldnt like That (i am still a christian... somewhat i think and its not uncommon in the spaces ive been to have gay/trans people in the church spaces something about Anglican churches etc, in my country. i just dont have the same exact beliefs as my parents)

sometimes i lie awake about the implications of coming out, the worst case scenario, how id probably no one to tell my achievements anymore, no one to be happy for me the way they had, no one to comfort me or be there when i get married etc. and i joked about how id just get up and leave and fuckall if i die alone to my friend even tho it fills me with loneliness and sadness ;w; anyway um she suddenly took one of my jokes seriously one night and say to me that she'll probably never come out because she loves her parents too much and i just idk. felt hurt. did she think i didnt love them either? i think she didnt mean it that way and i cleared it out that i was just joking about my plans bcuz idk if i want to do it actually (tho i feel like its an inevitable canon plot point with every trans ppl atp) but i just think about it sometimes. i love them but yk. i want to live.

maybe i wont actually cut them off as they try to process that but idk.

i dont think they'll like hurt me or anything but mentally and emotionally probably yes even if they probably mean well. i dont think i want to be in the closet forever?? idk im just sad about what she said ngl. and my future.

sorry just had to vent

i just dont think she gets how painful itd be to me. my parents and their extended family are Baptists. she has mostly catholic relatives (which in my experience from school and friends and gay teachers etc is more accepting ngl) and her dad is pretty accepting, having a brother who is gay and stuff. i dont wanna do a suffering olympics here but the more i think about forever in the closet the more i wanna puke lol

I have a religious family (Catholic), and I'm still religious as well. You wanting to come out to your family is not selfish or "proving you don't love them" in any way. You are who you are and you can't change that. You don't always have to rely on your family to get those feelings of achievement, love, happiness. You can make some friends who will basically become a second family, and they will be there to be happy for you and support you.

Catholics may be a bit more supportive than Baptists (idk I haven't met anyone who's Baptist), but they aren't super supportive (maybe that's just my family idk), but my family probably isn't the best example.

Anyway, you won't be stuck in the closet forever. Once you get old enough to move out, you aren't under your parents' rules anymore. If you ever need to vent some more, you can send me a message or an ask 💖

[our-genderfluid-experience]

my brain is so mean to my gender sometimes like sometimes im so happy being genderfluid!! wahoo, this is me i love it!!! then sometimes it'll bully me that im just making gender into a dress up thing and tell me im trying to get attention for it (which is weird cuz i dont tell anyone im genderfluid, just my really close friends lmao) or to feel special (especially on days where dysphoria is really non existent lol or days im relating to my agab gender and the 'fluxes' of it in the past) and they feel real and annoying. anybody with the same experience? ;w; sorry just ignore this if its too weird

It's not too weird, I get like too sometimes. What I do is pretend the part of my brain saying that is some super old white religious lady (I named her Carol) and I tell her to shut up. I do that anytime I have internalized homophobia/transphobia

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon

[our-genderfluid-experience]

i'll just be doing nothing in particular and boom girl/boy/genderless eldritch horror. not sure if it's because i'm usually thinking about being one before lol. being genderfluid is a wild ride

Tis a wild ride

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon

[our-genderfluid-experience]

I found this after some research. I hope it helps!

recently had the crisis and came to terms with being genderfluid.

Any advice for dysphoria or figuring things out???

I'm afab, so with chest dysphoria: sports bra and baggy shirts if you can't get a binder. Personally, I don't get bottom dysphoria, but you could Google how to pack (I think that's what it's called). I know you can use socks, but that's all I know. I never really looked into it.

If you're amab, I don't really know how to help, but I'll try to find some stuff, and I'll reblog it. If you want to wear makeup but you're closeted, you can buy clear lip gloss and mascara for a start. You could also get some eyeliner, which goes really well with a grudge/punk/emo aesthetic

For figuring things out, just go with the flow. Wear what feels comfortable. Use whatever pronouns feel right. You might have days where it feels like nothing fits right, whether it be labels, your clothes, your pronouns, etc. but you just need to focus on doing what makes you the happiest

[our-genderfluid-experience]

recently had the crisis and came to terms with being genderfluid.

Any advice for dysphoria or figuring things out???

I'm afab, so with chest dysphoria: sports bra and baggy shirts if you can't get a binder. Personally, I don't get bottom dysphoria, but you could Google how to pack (I think that's what it's called). I know you can use socks, but that's all I know. I never really looked into it.

If you're amab, I don't really know how to help, but I'll try to find some stuff, and I'll reblog it. If you want to wear makeup but you're closeted, you can buy clear lip gloss and mascara for a start. You could also get some eyeliner, which goes really well with a grudge/punk/emo aesthetic

For figuring things out, just go with the flow. Wear what feels comfortable. Use whatever pronouns feel right. You might have days where it feels like nothing fits right, whether it be labels, your clothes, your pronouns, etc. but you just need to focus on doing what makes you the happiest

[our-genderfluid-experience]

When I first came to terms with being genderfluid I immediately asked my close friends to call be by a different name but they found the one I chose weird so everyone called me something easier and a lot more common and I went by it ever since. It always felt kinds off when it was said but I just accepted it. Is it weird to want to change your name even if you've been using it for a while and everyone is trying to get used to calling you by that name? I have been trying to be called my now preferred name for about a year now and people are finally getting used to it but it feels wrong. Would it be wrong to ask for people to get used to a different name now?

(the name everyone calls me is Ace I wanted to be called Aster like the flower but now I don't feel right being called either. Is it wrong to want to change my name?

It's not weird to want to change your name. I experimented with like, 5 different names before I decided on the name I go by now. You are totally allowed to change your name if you want to. Some people might get a little annoyed with having to call you a new name, but they can deal with it. They can get used to calling you a new name

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq

[our-genderfluid-experience]

I’m genderfluid and proud. I’m into women (cis and trans), as well as sometimes attracted to femme guys and trans men. I feel comfortable with not labeling my sexuality, but that’s hard when I meet people, because a label provides them with the context of my sexuality, north that it defines me as a person. So, I’ve been identifying as pansexual, but I am not altogether sure about that label. Bisexual gives off a binary sort of tone. I’m just confused. Maybe that’s the brand label 😂.

Maybe do some research into polysexual. It's when you like more than one genders, but not all of them

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon #ploysexual?

[our-genderfluid-experience]

can i still be genderfluid if most days these days i dont care what pronoun people use on me or think of me and i dont really wanna decipher much what my gender is or put a label atm

Yeah, you can be genderfluid if thats what you feel comfortable with identifying as

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon

[our-genderfluid-experience]

wait a sec do i sign up for girls or boys sports?

Uh......um.......you.....next question!

(you could sign up for your agab. That's what I would do if I did sports)

[our-genderfluid-experience]

Do y'all ever 'steal' the genders of your fave characters.. Like you see a character that looks sick and you go "yep I'm (gender) now"

Or is it just me? (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

Personally, that doesn't happen to me, but I'm sure it happens to other people

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #send asks #thanks for the ask! #lgbtq #anon ask #anon