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Open The Door, MU!
Facilitating conversation to open the doors, and the minds, of our Marquette campus and Milwaukee community to those affected by mental illness.
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THE BOYS NEXT DOOR - "Sheila"
When I was first cast as Shelia I was both elated to be part of this cast and apprehensive. My uncle is cognitively disabled and having been around someone with disabilities all my life, I was worried about offending. It was a major concern. Throughout the rehearsal process, it became clear that making these people real people was the highest priority. We worked hard on finding the reality of these characters, of findings parts of ourselves in the personalities and behaviorisms of these people. Often we reworked scenes that we defaulted to what I would like to call standard sitcom timing. It wasn’t believable. It was funny, but it took us away from these people as real and into the realm of caricature. There was a fine line we had to find in order to keep the humor but never make fun of. It was a challenge, and by in large the responses we’ve received from audience members is that we succeeded. They were never laughing at, only with. Audiences were able to connect with the people on stage as real people and feel for them and with them. While this is a period play, set in the mid 80’s, and a lot of the language is dated, the realities of these people are the same. Group homes still exist, people still don’t choose roommates, and the burnout rate of social workers such as Jack is still 8 to 9 months. People with disabilities still have jobs and do them well, still make friends and fall in love, still have hopes and dreams. They still grow, albeit at a slower rate, they still feel like we do, they just have a more difficult time expressing it sometimes. They are still people. I was worried the text didn’t show this when I first read the play, but the more we as a cast explored the more we found these very real people and brought them to life.
My uncle has cognitive disabilities. I don’t know what his proper diagnosis is. When he was diagnosed, the word retarded was still acceptable, was still correct. He’s in his mid 50’s now and the thing is, for me, he’s never been someone with special needs. He’s just been my uncle. I wish more people could see that. For as long I can remember he’s worked at the Stop & Shop in his hometown, a grocery store commonly found on the East Coast. He bags, he stocks, he brings in carts from outside. Scott has a more active social life than most people. He has friends, some of which have special needs, some of which don’t. He has a community. Scott plays on a softball team and has won medals in Golf at the Special Olympics. Scott can’t read above a second grade level but he has the best memory when it comes to directions. If he’s been there once, he can get you there. My mom trusts his word on directions better than her own memory. Scott travels with his community for events and goes to amusement parks and has picnics and parties. A few years ago he moved into his own apartment. Before that he was living in the apartment second floor of my grandmother’s house. Essentially on his own, just in the same building. We thought about putting him in a group home because we wanted him to be stable somewhere before my grandmother passes, which is a concern as she’s getting older. In the end, we didn’t because there was no guarantee he would be put into a home in Situate, where he lives, where his community is, where he has friends and people to look out for him already. So, we found him an apartment. It’s close enough he can walk to my grandma’s if he needs do. She still drives him to work, because he can’t get a license. But he loves having a place of his own. He’s just like the rest of us. He has friends, family, a job, he loves golf and watches sports on TV. He lives on his own and he’ll take us out to dinner when we visit. To me he’s just my uncle. But all people see are the differences. I really think this play is helping people to find the similarities.
One thing I found out over the course of working on The Boys Next Door is actually about Clara. It’s a funny scene as she yells at Norman “No, no, no…” over and over, clutching the bowl of popcorn. For many people, that’s just an aspect of Clara. It’s not my role so I can’t speak for that actress, but I found out recently that when people with special needs, especially women, become possessive over objects and aggressive vocally and/or physically over said object, that individual has likely been abused. It completely changed my perspective on both Clara and myself. I never thought about it. I learned during one of the talk backs that the mentally disabled are most likely to become victims of abuse, women with mental disabilities the most likely to be raped. Clara has suffered through something to react the way she does. Shelia hasn’t. It made me realize that Shelia, before coming to a group home, has lived a good life. Maybe she lost her family, maybe they just couldn’t take care of her anymore, maybe they wanted her in a safe environment incase anything happened to them. Whatever the case, before she came to live in a group home, she was cared for.
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Positive responses coming in from THE BOYS NEXT DOOR opening night!
Patrons are emailing in their praise for THE BOYS NEXT DOOR:
"I had the pleasure of being in the audience tonight for another fine performance by the theatre students of the Marquette Theatre. I have attended many performances at the Helfaer Theatre and I am continually astounded by the professionalism of the students. Further, I am amazed with the level of acting which I have seen play after play... I am continually surprised by the depth of the student performances. "
“Went last night - loved the production and performances. The students were incredible. I was completely transported and woke up thinking about it this morning.”
“What a moving play! I was crying and laughing - the best combination. Well done. I am so impressed with the acting in particular.
I will sing its praises to my classes. I hope you all have great attendance.”
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Support Groups
National Alliance for Mental Illness Milwaukee
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THE BOYS NEXT DOOR - "Jack"
My name is Larry Lajewski and I am a junior at Marquette University studying Theatre and Broadcast and Electronic Communication. In Marquette’s upcoming production of The Boys Next Door, I play the character Jack Palmer. Let me tell you a little bit about Jack.
Jack is a social worker who, for the past eight months, has been working with mentally handicapped adults. He is in charge of looking after five group apartments, which total seventeen men. This play focuses on one apartment, consisting of four men: Arnold, Norman, Lucien, and Barry. Jack’s job is to look after them and help them in dealing with society. Jack cares deeply for each and every one of the men he is helping and even regards them as his closest associates. Although he cares for these men, they also drive Jack to the point of exhaustion. This play shows the struggle that Jack goes through in deciding if he will leave these guys, and if he even can leave them.
Now that you know a little bit about Jack Palmer, I’ll tell you about my experience with this play. When I first read this play, I saw how well it was written and structured. I particularly liked the character of Jack Palmer because of how that character was particularly written. At first, I saw Jack as a man who did his job but wanted to do something more with his life. When we first started rehearsing, our director Bill Watson gave us a great insight into the play when he said that one of the main ideas in this play is how each of the characters respond to stress in their own way. This really opened me up to the character of Jack because I then saw that he was this man who had a passion for helping people. Jack was not this character who just wanted to do something else, but someone who cared for these men with everything he had, but by doing so would eventually cost him everything he had emotionally and physically. What I then had to do was figure out a way to tap into Jack’s connection to each of these characters that he is responsible for. This was the most challenging aspect for me to work on because I have never been completely responsible for another person’s well-being, let alone four adult men. The way I worked on this connection was by intensely paying attention to what each of the characters were saying through their dialogue and understanding why they were saying what they were and how Jack would respond to each of these instances. By doing this, I began to sink into the shoes of Jack Palmer and understood why he is so passionate about caring for these men and how they desperately need Jack to be there for them.
Working on this play with Bill, my fellow actors, and the entire production crew has taught me so much about what we can accomplish with theatre. This show is so much more than a story of four men living their life in an apartment, it is a glimpse into the real world of people we might not normally associate or think about. This play shows these men with mental handicaps for who they truly are: people, just like you and me.
#Boys Next Door#Bill Watson#Larry Lajewski#Jack#mentally handicapped#social worker#people like you and me#what we can accomplish with theatre
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Milwaukee County has the most lopsided mental health system in the country, weighted down with administrative overhead and expensive in-patient costs.
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THE BOYS NEXT DOOR - "Barry"
My name is Oliver Wolf, and I am playing the role of Barry Klemper in The Boys Next Door. Barry is afflicted with schizophrenia, which has many varying symptoms. Some of these include hearing voices in his head, having the belief that other people are plotting against him somehow, and withdrawing or becoming agitated because of serious anxiety. People with schizophrenia tend to appear completely normal at first glance, with their symptoms only coming out when subjected to serious trauma or when put in situations where their anxiety will flare up in a serious way, forcing them to talk about what they are really thinking.
When I began working on the process of putting my character together, I had no idea what schizophrenia was, and I had no idea how Barry’s illness played a part in his role in the play. But, as I began to memorize my lines, I realized that many of the things I was saying weren’t working cohesively with whatever situation I was in at the time. My thought process seemed scrambled, and I would blurt random lines which seemed completely out of context. So, I decided to go on the Mental Health Institute’s website to do some research. And what I found completely changed the way I was doing the entire play. I realized that I had an entire different dialogue running in my head throughout the entire play, and the actions I was taking were being influenced by something not at all apparent on stage. My inner monologue, as it’s known among actors, was being talked over by the voices in my head, so my capability for multiple rational thoughts to run cohesively is seriously compromised.
Now comes the problem of bringing that to life on stage. Even now, 10 days before opening night, I struggle to really believe that I, as Barry, have this illness. But, our director Bill Watson has worked with me for an extended period of time, and I am starting to allow what he calls “leaks” of my affliction to come out. People with schizophrenia tend to have some small tick that comes out when in moments of extreme anxiety, and this holds true in my interpretation of Barry.
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“Simply put, treatment works, if you can get it. But in America today, it is clear that many people living with mental illness are not provided with the essential treatment they need.” —Michael J.Fitzpatrick, executive director of NAMI National, National Alliance on Mental Illness, Grading the States 2006, Arlington, Va
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NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation's largest nonprofit, grassroots mental health education, advocacy and support organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, panic disorder and other mental illnesses.
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This is a link to an article written in Milwaukee Journal Sentinel October 5, 2013
By Meg Kissinger of the Journal Sentinel staff.
PLEASE click on video to see a short documentary.
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First read through of THE BOYS NEXT DOOR, October 8, 2013
LtoR: Armando Ronconi, Amy Burzak, Kyle Conner, Larry Lajewski, Shannon Twohy
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I've battled depression as long as I can remember.
Hi.
I've battled depression as long as I can remember. I came from a wealthy upbringing, great happy family, and I have a ton of friends. But throughout my whole life, everyone has liked me but me, and I don't want to be here anymore.
I think about this a lot: what triggers my depression? Well I can tell you what greatly accelerated it was my freshmen year of college where I was at Lake Forest, and I had no friends. I tried so hard to make friends but felt excluded from the group. Whether I was not cool enough or awkward, it was really hurtful. The most hurtful part was this boy I liked, we were friends at first- but I guess he found out that I liked him. I prank called him and was kind of weird to him- and he got defensive. He also had a girlfriend at the time. I was really hurt by the way he treated me- I don't know, I was trying to be funny and make him laugh I guess, but it didn't end up working. I guess we didn't share the same humor. I felt so misunderstood from my peers and I'm honestly surprised I didn't attempt that year. I've been in solitary confinement a few times in my life and it’s interesting, you think you can survive without friends, on your own, but really it begins to eat you alive. You begin to become so paranoid, and you forget how to talk and socialize with other people. I became so identity confused, so uncomfortable in my own skin. I began cutting. I got straight A's and my family was still amazing to me, my cousins who are my best friends, but I still felt my mind was spiraling out of control. Over the rejection of this boy and rejection I kept facing from my peers trying to make friends, but feeling left out, feeling not good enough.
Second semester was even harder, because the boy I liked now changed his mind, wanted to be my friend, but given what I was going through, I tried to be as cold as ice and mean as possible to him. Why was I suddenly good enough to be nice to this year? What made me so horrible and so weird last year? So unbearable to talk to freshman year? But he picked up on my messages of being cold to him and the feeling of anger between us began to be mutual. I was mad he didn't like me or was mean to me freshman year or whatever, and he was probably mad I was defending myself. Because oddly enough, even though I have awful depression, like the suicidal kind, I'm very good at defending myself. I always feel the need to. I have a temper, and at the end of the day, I don't take any prisoners. What made this semester really hard was I was in a play with everyone, and although I learned to sing opera beautifully, I tried to make friends with the kids in the play and nothing happened. It seemed everything I did socially was a failure there. I don't understand. We were a month together- why weren't we all friends? It was very hurtful and what hurt me the most is I tried befriending the boy’s girlfriend, but she turned me down because at the time, she was in love with the jerk that had been so cruel to me at a time I felt like killing myself most.
But to be honest, none of this really matters, because let’s face it: I have felt this way my whole life and will always feel this way. It’s a shame, because I have such a great life, such great friends, but I'm still having trouble like enjoying it and being happy with myself and I constantly feel the world owes me something, or I need to achieve something, or make myself the best at something- it’s like this constant seeing myself negatively. Its due to my non-rational brain. I think of myself as a creative person. So my brain doesn't function logically- I have a LD and like, I've always struggled with school- perhaps that contributes to my low self esteem. I've needed tutors throughout college and sometimes I just feel like: why can't I do it all on my own? The one thing I would expect would be to do everything on my own considering I'm still a huge nerd, and like, all I've been doing is studying throughout college.
I'm happy now, somehow writing this makes me feel better, knowing perhaps my story of cutting and self dislike can maybe relate to someone too. I think also the root of my depression is mean people get to me.
I think the underlying cause of my depression is other people. I think I let things and other people get to me way too much, especially mean people. I don't know. I have a hard time understanding the concept and meaning of life, and I tried praying last night, but somehow I still find myself so hopeless and sad. High school wasn't easy for me either- I did transfer schools- and I went to a all girls school- I was happy but I don't know, I have bittersweet memories. It was a nice place though, I was loved by many girls- I think the height of my depression has been college.
I remember when I first transferred here with one of my friend who had a similar experience, I would consume large amounts of vodka to numb my emotional pain, and then it would downfall. Mixing alcohol and depression I had to figure out on my own was not a great mix, the emotions escalated and I cut my arm with a razor. I could show you the scar. It was probably the worst cut ever because little did I know, had I cut the vein, I would have bleed to death (which still sounds kind of exciting to me).
I wonder what my depression stems from, is it all in my head? I feel even more depressed about my depression because it’s like, I'm so ashamed, I've honestly had such an unreal life. Great parents, wealthy, I'm good looking, smart, have great friends. Have great friendships. but I don't know, I guess I have life-phobia, like I'm afraid to live, I'm afraid to be alive, I'm afraid to get hurt, I struggle with the concept of life, I question the world a lot and why things are the way they are. It’s just how my mind is. But somehow writing this makes me feel better because I know I will get through this all- someday I’ll be "finally happy". But I struggle with life- and honestly, other people’s burdens cause my depression too- like when I see something really unfair, like I know a girl with a heart problem and she can't exercise and she's overweight- those thoughts really do make me wanna kill myself because she is the sweetest girl and never in the world deserved to go through what she's been through. So I don't know, things like that, like unfair situations, my mind doesn't grasp them well and I think I internalize it to that ultimate solution which seems too perfect in my mind- just like fuck all and just blackness.
But I mean I don't want to get emo on all of you. =)
That’s all I want to be, I've decided, is to be happy. I used to want to be famous or what not, but now thinking it through, I don't care if I'm married (it would be nice) but I just want to be happy and someday look at myself and love EVERYTHING about myself instead of loving myself half way.
I do want to give my name in this, I mean it would be wonderful if I was brave enough to reach out to someone, but I debate about it because: what if someone I don't like on campus reads this? I don't want people to be nicer to me, just because I've battled this and have a ton of demons. But like, how nice would it be to reach out to someone and let them know, like, I know what they are going through and honestly I don't know I've gotten this far, but just keep going. Keep persisting. Don’t go through with it because suicide hurts SO many people around you, probably the meanest thing you could do to your parents.
Anyway that’s my story. Surprisingly I'm not crying while typing this like I'd thought I'd be. Often, when I talk about this, I usually cry. But I guess it’s because I've analyzed it so much, I'm immune to it, or in the process of recovering and being happy again. I do get closer all the time. I take steps back all the time. Life is full of ups and downs, but I do see hope for me. I do see the happiness, humor, and hope I can bring others. And boy, do I have a Seth McFarlane sense of humor, I will laugh at anything. Including this long, like, soliloquy of my life. Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope this can help someone who needs help out there.
God bless.
anonymous
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THE BOYS NEXT DOOR- an assistant stage manager speaks
Hi everyone! My name is Jessica Trznadel. I am a junior theatre major and an assistant stage manager for the production of Boys Next Door.
In a few weeks we will open the show, and you'll all be able to see what I know is going to be an amazing result. I'm excited for this piece to start running as a production, but I am extremely thankful to be a part of the process of watching this show grow. The character growth is especially rewarding to see. Every day at rehearsal, each actor makes a new discovery and finds new ways to connect with their characters.
6 actors in this show play characters who suffer from various mental disabilities, but the play is not about mental illness itself. It is about characters who are facing struggles in relationships, jobs, and family life, who happen to be suffering from mental illness. They are funny, relatable, and endearing, and I have realized that this play is an important reminder of the dignity of all people.
There is a stigma behind mental illness that makes it looked down upon. No one hesitates to ask for help when they are in physical pain. It is way easier to talk about breaking your arm, than it is to talk about your depression or your mental disability. This comes from society's tendency to either fear or mock those who suffer from these disabilities. I have some personal experience with anxiety and panic disorder that I have just started to deal with, and in a lot of ways, being a part of this show has helped me. I have dealt with very bad anxiety for a few years now. It got to a point where it was interfering with how I functioned. It has been a huge relief to finally be able to talk to my family and friends about it. I could have received this help much sooner, but I was always afraid of what the reaction would be. I thought my family would start to worry about me too much, and that it might change the way my friends looked at me, but actually it has helped me immensely not to have to feel on my own anymore.
The number one way to end the ignorance behind mental illness is to talk about it, and stop fearing it or pretending it doesn't exist. I'm glad that doing plays like Boys Next Door on campus helps encourage this discussion, and gives us a look into the lives of some very lovable characters.
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I volunteer for the Miracle League of Milwaukee
My name is Jessie Bazan and I'm a senior in the College of Communication. During the summers, I volunteer with the YMCA Miracle League of Milwaukee. (more info can be found here: http://miracleleaguemilwaukee.org)
The Miracle League is a baseball league for young athletes with different kinds of physical and mental abilities. Through my interactions with these athletes, I've learned so much about what it means to be truly present to another human being, how much personal and communal growth is possible by keeping a respectful, open heart, and, most basically, how to love. Being out on the Miracle League field is NOT about service in the diminutive, "charity" sense. It's about walking with and being present to these young athletes who simply need the world to recognize the incredible talents they already possess.
Jessie Bazan
Marquette University Class of 2014
CM Liturgy Assistant
OMC Editorial Intern
#Jessie Bazan#different kinds of physical and mental abilities#volunteer#Miracle League of Milwaukee
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THE BOYS NEXT DOOR - "Arnold"
My name is Kyle Conner, I am 20 years old and a current junior in the College of Communication here at Marquette. A little over a week ago, the Marquette theater department started rehearsals for their next play in the season, The Boys Next Door. Taking place in the 1980s, The Boys Next Door centers around four men with developmental challenges who live together. Their caretaker is a man named Jack who has looked over 5 different group homes in the past along with the men he currently works with. The men are Lucien Smith, Barry Klemper, Norman Bulansky, and my character, Arnold Wiggins. I figured that you would all be hearing from each character in the course of this blog so I’ll let them explain their characters more instead of me. This time I can tell you a bit about Arnold before I get going with the rest of this post.
Probably the least challenged in the group, Arnold is highly obsessive compulsive and a bit hyperactive. If you ever get him to start talking, chances are you’ll need to wait until he’s done before you can even suggest something different to him, and you could be waiting for a very long time. He has a job at a movie theater and I would like to think sometimes even looks at himself as a paternal spirit to the other men.
Let me just say that before going into this show I had never once tackled any sort of theater with this kind of material. It was scary, daunting, and exciting all at once. Working in the theater and specifically with performance, the opportunities are endless when it comes to the things that you could learn about and experience, so the chance of getting to work on this show was really exciting to me. It’s one thing to work with emotions in shows and to work through figuring out things like “this is where I get frustrated because of so and so” or “here’s where I learn something really heartbreaking and my human reaction becomes this…” But for this show, you had that with the added layer of how does somebody with developmental challenges go about in these situations that we’ve been conditioned to act in a certain way towards? The result is something that I feel that all of us in the cast have barely scratched the surface with. This is why I am beyond grateful that we have Bill Watson to direct this show with us.
Over the first week alone we have started to delve into this play head first and tackle every moment with as much truth as we can. One of the first problems that we really tackled was how do thought and response patterns differ to people with and without developmental disorders, along with how their similar. And here is where detail really comes into play, because not only do we connect our thoughts, but it is almost at a pace that means that there are little to no stops in our thought processes. This play really demonstrates the layers that are necessary to help create this diverse world that we are all working in.
But one of the best parts of acting is that even when we do add on the layers that are necessary and we find what we need, we’re never done. You can never settle with a show, and I’m beyond excited to see what’s going to happen next.
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Together, let's open the door, MU!
Open the Door, MU! is a digital outreach website to facilitate discussion on the Marquette University campus and in the Milwaukee community about mental illnesses.
The catalyst for this discussion is the Marquette Theatre production of the play THE BOYS NEXT DOOR by Tom Griffin, November 7-17, 2013, a truthful look into the lives of four men with mental challenges living together in a group home and the social worker who cares for them. Very funny and tenderly sweet, this is a story of these simple men and their daily routines as they live their lives in the world beyond their front door. The purpose behind Marquette Theatre producing this play is to get people thinking and talking about people who live with mental illness. There will be a series of “Tweet Talks”, discussions with audiences and cast after selected performances led by people who have a personal connection to mental illness, where members of the audience may tweet about what happens and those comments will be saved to this website.
But the discussion does not have to end with the curtain coming down.This website is an effort to reach those in our community who have stories to tell about their own struggles or struggles of people close to them, to give them a place to share those stories so people may know they are not alone.
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