obliviate-me-quietly

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The Ugly Sweater

I am an ugly sweater…

The one who everyone owns,

But doesn’t admit it

Unless it’s that time of the year, 

And they decides you’re finally good enough

The one that sits in the closet

The yarn slowly unravelling, 

Fraying at all edges,

But begging to be worn

I pray for someone to fix me up,

To stitch me back together

Then maybe

I can come out of the cupboard

They say stitch yourself back up,

Here are the tools,

But when you open the sewing kit

All they’ve given you is fabric dye

To cover up the problem

They say,

Because there is no cure 

For an ugly sweater

But when you use the dye,

you don’t remember 

what you looked like, before

but you know,

it’s definitely not this

blank space, plain yarn.

Not an ugly sweater,

but not a nice one, either

A sweater that’s lost its brightness,

That is stagnant and empty

But is this really better 

Than being ugly and unwanted?

You have so much potential, they say

There are so many ugly sweaters, Like you

Who are beautiful and successful

and are worn all over the world

But instead

I sit in darkness 

In a drawer,

In purgatory

Not daring to show my true face

For if they see the real me, 

The half that’s unrestrained and bright,

They might decide to throw me out

Or maybe they’ll see the other me,

The darkness

And decide that it’s too much

Not that I blame them

It’s too much for me too, sometimes

I can’t see where one pattern starts,

And the other begins,

Its too much and not enough, all at once

…And I want it to stop…

But the only way to stop

This irrational ugly mess

Is permanent

And as much as I want to

I’ve not got the courage.

I’m scared to die,

But I’m scared to live, too

And I wish more than anything,

That I was born normal

Not an ugly sweater.

[obliviate-me-quietly]

The Ugly Sweater

I am an ugly sweater…

The one who everyone owns,

but doesn’t admit it

unless it’s that time of the year,

and everyone decides you’re finally good enough.

The one that sits in the closet,

the yarn slowly unravelling,

fraying at all the edges

but begging to be worn.

I pray for someone to fix me up,

to stitch me back together,

then maybe,

I can come out of the cupboard.

They say stitch yourself back up,

fix yourself, here are the tools.

But when you open the sewing kit,

All they’ve given you is fabric dye

to cover up the problem,

they say,

because there is no cure

for an ugly sweater.

But when you use the dye,

you don’t remember

what you looked like, before,

but you know,

it’s definitely not this -

Blank space, plain yarn -

Not an ugly sweater,

but not a nice one, either.

A sweater that’s lost its brightness,

that is stagnant and empty,

but is this really better

than being ugly and unwanted?

You have so much potential, they say,

there are so many ugly sweaters, like you,

who are beautiful and successful

and are worn all over the world.

But instead,

I sit in darkness,

in a drawer,

in purgatory.

Not daring to show my true face

for if they see the real me,

the half that’s unrestrained and bright,

they might decide to throw me out,

Or maybe they’ll see the other me -

The darkness -

And decide that it’s too much.

Not that I blame them,

it’s too much for me too, sometimes,

I can’t see where one pattern starts,

and the other begins,

its too much and not enough, all at once.

…and I want it to stop…

But the only way to stop,

this irrational ugly mess,

is permanent -

and as much as I want to…

…I’ve not got the courage…

I’m scared to die,

but I’m scared to live, too

and I wish more than anything,

that I was born normal.

Not an ugly sweater…

[obliviate-me-quietly]

It’s long, but worth the read.

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Blackinnon where Marlene first finds out Sirius is an Animagus ? 😊

"Oh come on, Black, where are you even taking me. I’ve already got detention on Saturday, I don’t need doubled that because we’re sneaking out of the castle. It’s even worse then just sneaking around inside the castle." Marlene said in a hushed tone as she followed Sirius out of the front doors of Hogwarts and onto the grounds. 

It was the middle of fall in their 7th year of Hogwarts. They weren’t dating, per say, more like friends with benefits. Benefits being of course shagging all the time. Neither one of them were keen on titles so they never made it completely official.

"Shut up Marls, we’re not going to get caught" Sirius smirked and grabbed her hand, pulling her to follow him. "And besides, you’ll enjoy this" He said though in all honestly, he had no idea how she’d react.

Ever since third year, Sirius, James, and Peter went with Remus once a month to the Shrieking Shack, and once a month, all four of them returned with cuts and bruises all over their bodies, and at least 100 times a month both Lily and Marlene (Mostly Lily) would try and get the boys to tell them where they were going, and what they were doing. 

This month was different though, it started off the same way where they would come back with cuts and bruises, but after the second or third day of asking them where they had gone, Lily had suddenly stopped asking, leaving only Marlene and her curious mind to try and figure it out. That was until Sirius woke her up tonight and dragged her from the castle, only telling her it was important.

Marlene looked up as they stood by The Whomping Willow, though far enough for them not t get hit. “Why are we here Black? I don’t feel like dying tonight either” She said sarcastically looking over at Sirius who just rolled his eyes.

"You said you wanted to know where I go each month" He muttered and ran a hand through his hair. "Well since Lily already knows…" He began but was immediately cut off my Marlene. 

"Lily knows? Lily knows and she didn’t tell me!" She snapped. "Oh, she’s so dead"

"It wasn’t up to her, Remus asked her to keep it quiet until I told you" He explained, causing a confused expression from Marlene. "Just watch alright?" He asked and kissed her cheek slightly. 

"Alright, alright fine" She agreed finally. Sirius grinned and whistled softly and without a moment to spare, a rat scurried towards the tree, weaving it’s way through the branches until the rat got towards the trunk of the tree, pressing it’s nose against a small knot by an opening that Marlene never realized. 

She gasped softly as the tree ceased movement and looked over at Sirius who hadn’t taken his eyes off her. “Come on Alice, shall we go down the rabbits hole?” He joked holding out his hand for her, remembering one of the muggle fairy tales Lily once had shown him. 

Marlene hesitated slightly, but didn’t back down as she took his hand letting him lead her through the still branches of the whomping willow. As they approached the tree, the rat that had once been standing there was already halfway down the tunnel. 

"Careful on the way down." Sirius smirked and nodded towards the rabbit hole in the tree, big enough for a person to fit through. Once more, Marlene hesitated but let go of Sirius’ hand before sliding down the hole, looking around as she landed in a tunnel. Sirius dropped beside her a few moments later. "Now, remember, you’re not allowed to freak out" Sirius explained to her as he led her down the dark tunnel. "And you’re not allowed to go screaming into the Forbidden Forest either" He continued as they approached a door. Despite wanting to say something, Marlene couldn’t find the words to speak.

"Welcome to the Shrieking Shack" Sirius smirked and opened the door where the rat, and what appeared to be a deer standing in the room. 

"Alright Black, what the hell is this" Marlene finally said shaking her head. "You’ve absolutely lost your goddamn mind" 

Sirius rolled his eyes, “You wanted to know where I went each month and i’m coming to tell you.” He said glancing over at James and Peter. “Now, it looks weird, I know, but I swear once you hear the whole story, it’ll make perfect sense” He said running a hand through his hair before beginning to explain to her Remus’ furry problem and how it was his idea to change into animals to help Remus with the process. “So James, Peter and I, did just that. Peter’s the rat” Sirius said as Peter turned back into himself, Marlene’s jaw still agape from when Sirius told her that Remus was a werewolf, “James’ is the stag” Sirius continued as James turned back into himself, with a goofy grin on his face. 

"You have got to be kidding me." Marlene said shaking her head in disbelief looking between the three boys in the room, but they all shook their head. "Not joking" James shrugged. "Lils had the same reaction, I told her she could come see yours" He grinned as Lily and Remus walked out of the room adjacent to the one they were currently in. Marlene looked over at Lily like she wanted to kill her. "And you didn’t tell me any of this?"

Lily shrugged. “You know I wanted to Marls, Remus asked me not to” 

"It’s true, I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t like freak out and go tell the whole school" Remus admitted, not having looked up from his feet since he entered the room. 

Marlene kept her arms folded over her chest as she processed everything going on. “And what are you supposed to be Black?” She asked turning to face Sirius, who grinned and kissed her cheek before transforming into a large, black dog. At this Marlene laughed, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I thought Peter being a rat was pathetic, but you, a dog, you’re joking?” She laughed as James shook his head. “You don’t get to choose you’re animagus” He said simply, his arm wrapped around Lilys waist. 

"This is ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous." She said again scanning the room as Sirius transformed back into himself. 

"Aw come on Marley, dogs your favorite animal anyway" He smirked leaning back against the wall. "Now you can love me twice as much" He teased trying to lighten the mood.

Marlene shook her head and looked over at him. “You’re all a bunch of assholes, do you realize how hurt you could all could get…” She ranted but Sirius groaned. 

"Oh come on, don’t be little ms. redhead over here. She already gave us that talk. And we know, but we don’t care because it’s helping Remus" he shrugged.

She rolled her eyes and looked over at Remus, “I didn’t ask them to do this, I protested against it” Remus muttered finally looking up at Marlene, almost afraid she was going to shun him. 

Instead, Marlene ran a hand through her hair, staying silent for a while before nodding. “Well despite the always impending death, it is pretty damn cool.” She finally said, causing Sirius to grin.

"See, I told you she wasn’t going to freak out" He said triumphantly, "You owe me some chocolate frogs Prongsie" 

"Oh, she definitely was about to flip out" James teased looking over at Marlene who held up her middle finger. 

"I was not!" She protested but only caused Sirius and James to do a very exaggerated  play-by-play of Marlenes reaction as Sirius explained everything. 

"Shut it puppy" Marlene finally said, hitting Sirius’ arm.

"What’d you just call me?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Puppy. That’s what you are isn’t it?" She said, now teasing him. Sirius groaned and shook his head. "You’re impossible." He muttered.

A year later though, Marlene had successfully gone through the animagus process as well adopting her new name from Sirius, “McKitten”  once he found out her animagus was a white tigress.

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Does anyone else hate writers block? Like you know exactly what you want to write- the scenario is right there at the front of your mind but you can't form the words in a way that will make sense!

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Though James and Lily were known for their PDA, the two were also notorious for annoying the crap out of one and other on purpose.

But James took it too far one day- after meeting Lily's parents he started to call her 'Pumpkin' , knowing that she hated it when her father called her that. He regretted it when he woke up one morning and turned around to cuddle his girlfriend and screamed like a girl upon seeing a carved pumpkin where her head should have been. 

#jily #jily headcanon #jily prompt #James Potter #james and lily #Lily Evans #Harry Potter #hp #Marauders #marauder #the marauders era #marauders era #the marauders

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100 followers! Thanks a million, guys! You all rock!

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I have this headcannon that in the next generation, supporters of the Gryffindor Quidditch team would play The Harlem Shake during their matches because of the lion roar. The muggle borns are all sick of the stupid song but the purebloods and halfbloods are obsessed with it and play it at every.goddamn.match

#Harry Potter #harry potter prompt #hp #harry potter headcanon #gryffindor #quidditch

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"Hey Evans, I heard there's a guy in London called Big Ben," "It's not a guy, Potter, it's a cloc-" "Well i'm just saying, they don't call me 'Big James' for no reason."

"The only person who calls you that is Sirius."

#jily #James Potter #james and lily #Lily Evans #the marauders #the marauders era #Marauders #marauder #marauders era

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I apologise to everyone who are waiting for drabbles and prompts i've been having a complete brain fart and can't really write much at the moment. 

But I will get them done eventually! Promise!

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Chapter 23 of The Sacrifices I Made has been completed and uploaded on fanfictiondotnet. Thank you to everyone who has been patient for the next update, i've been away on holiday and only found time yesterday to write the latest chapter! You can check it out here if you are a reader.

In this chapter Hermione and Daniel have another training session with Bellatrix and Lucius, and Sirius starts to get a bit suspicious of Hermione. 

If you want to start reading it, you can find the first chapter here.

#The sacrifices I made #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #Sirius Black #hermione back in time #Hermione Granger #sirius and hermione #sirimione #James Potter #Remus Lupin

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I'd heard about this so much but never read the actual note until now. I never even knew her but I'm so heartbroken to think that a parent could treat their child like this. It is fucked up, Leelah. It is fucked up. And it needs to change. Please, everyone, keep reblogging this. Everyone needs to see this. 

reblog this until your fingers fall off, her ‘mother’ is thinking off deleting the suicide note off tumblr.

#transgender #trans #lgbt #reblog #reblog the shit out of this

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You know Evans, I heard that the muggles have a list of the seven wonders of the world.” "Potter could you just no-" "My name is the only thing on that list

"Okay, Lily you didn’t have to punch him that hard" (via jiilys)

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Severus Snape

For now, we’ll leave you with an acrostic poem about one of the worlds most famous characters in literature and film history. 

An acrostic Poem about Severus Snape, by Sirius Black

Severus Snape: Shit  Eating  Vermin  Evil  Rat  Upchuck Shite Skanky Nancy  Asshole Plonker Egg

#severus snape #Sirius Black #Marauders #marauder #marauders era #the marauders era #hogwarts #harry potter poetry #poetry

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Reblogging in light of the christmas theme (: Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!

Can You please do a Prompt where Lily's family meet Lily for the first time (but they're not together yet) and reveal to him how much she talks about him during the summer?

I think you meant they meet James for the first time, so here you go! :)

“What are you doing in my bedroom?” Lily Evans hissed as she walked into her bedroom to see her sister leaning against the window frame, peering down outside. It was certainly a sight to behold, her sister actually inside her bedroom by choice. Usually she avoided it, claiming it was full of ‘freak stuff’ that she didn’t want to be a part of. It was the reason the two had stopped sharing a room when Lily had turned 12. “Don’t you have a date with Vermin or something to get ready for?” She couldn’t help but snicker at the scathing glare Petunia sent her when Lily used her nickname for her sister’s boyfriend. It suited him, though, or Lily thought so. Vernon Dursley really was a piece of Vermin.

 “It’s Vernon, you freak. “ Petunia spat at her sister, her voice dripping with venom. “And there’s a boy outside.” She sniffed in distaste as she looked down at her younger sister, before looking back outside, going back to practically drooling. “God he’s gorgeous.”

Lily wandered over to her bed and sat down, pulling her favourite book out from under her pillow. She didn’t really bother glancing out the window then. The boys Petunia fancied were absolutely vile, Vernon was proof of that. But when she spared a quick glance, not being able to help herself, her heart seemed to stop, and then flip in her chest. James Potter was standing outside her front gate, leaning against the fence post and running a hand through his hair in the sexy way he always did it. “Yeah, he is.” She mumbled, staring at him gob smacked for a moment before shaking her head, trying to snap out of her trance.

Lily tried not to move to quickly as she sat up and leaned closer to the window, wanting to get a better look of the positively gorgeous creature that was leaning now against the mailbox, looking at it with a .confused expression. It wasn’t like she was staring at him…she wasn’t like his mob of fan girls back at Hogwarts. She was just… admiring the view for a moment. It wasn’t like she got to when she was at school. Any time she even glanced at him James got this huge, cocky grin and Lily did not need his ego getting any bigger.

And it seemed that just as she moved to get a better look at him, James looked up at the window. But instead of a cocky grin, as he spotted her, he smiled, a real genuine smile, and waved at her.

Petunia squeaked and covered her mouth. “He’s waving at me…” she gushed, smoothing her hair, which was cut into a disgusting, yellow bob that really didn’t suit her.

Lily stared back at James for a moment, opening her mouth few times to say something, shout at him for being a creepy stalker and just showing up at her house, or maybe even say hello, but before she could muster up anything to say, Petunia was racing downstairs and out the front door to see the gorgeous boy leaning on the fence.

“Wait, Tuney!” Lily started, but it was too late. Not that Petunia would listen anyway. Meekly, Lily tottered down the stairs and followed her out the door, just in time to hear Petunia say, “I’ve got a boyfriend, sorry…but I’m sure one of my friends would love to get to know you.”

James was just grinning at Petunia, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes as he listened to the garbage that Petunia was saying.

“You know, I really don’t think he’d be interested in any of your friends, Tuney. Or, well, I don’t think you’d like the likes of him near your friends.” Lily stated as she walked up beside her sister, giving her sister an amused look.

“Get lost, you freak. I was just telling- James, was it? – that my friend Grace, would be perfect for him.” She twirled a piece of her blonde hair, giving him a flirtatious smile.

Yeah, right. You just want him for yourself. Lily snorted and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Listen, Tuney, even though Grace is very pretty, and a ginger, which happens to be the type of girl I know James is into, you definitely won’t be introducing them anytime soon.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Petunia turned her nose up at Lily.

“Because…how do I put this…he’s…” Lily leaned in close to Petunia and wiggled her fingers at her. “A freak!”

Petunia squeaked and stepped backwards, widening her eyes. “You mean…you know him?! And he’s like you? He goes to that freak school?”

Lily gave a witchy cackle and waved her fingers at Petunia. “Hocus pocus, higgily jiggliy…”

Petunia turned on the spot and sprinted back inside. “Mummy! Lily’s doing you know what!”

Lily snorted and shook her head as she watched her sister disappear inside the house, before turning back to James. “Sorry about her…”

James gave a shrug and shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, leaning against the letterbox as his smile grew bigger. “It’s no biggie. It was quite funny, really.” He said.

Lily smiled a little, looking at him, before she frowned a bit. “How do you know where I live, Potter?”

James went a bit pink as he thought of an answer to her question. “Erm…Marley told me…” He mumbled, to which Lily groaned and shook her head. “Don’t be mad with her! I forced it out of her.” He said quickly.

Lily crossed arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. “The why are you here?” she asked. “What could you possibly have wanted when you made my best friend give up my address?”

James bit his lip, for a moment his confident mask slipping, showing a nervous boy. But it vanished as quickly as she spotted it, and he pulled a small package out of his pocket, holding it out for her. “Happy Christmas.”

Lily stared at it for a few long moments, and for a moment, James considered taking the package back, embarrassed that she didn’t want it. But then Lily hesitantly reached out and took the package from him. She looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you, James.” She murmured.

James’ cheeks flushed slightly red, and he ran a hand through his messy hair once again.

Lily felt a twinge of guilt that she hadn’t gotten him anything, and bit her lip in thought. “Come inside, James. I have a present for you…” She said.

James’ eyes lit up, but he followed her into the house, trying to flatten his hair, and on the way he almost collided into Mr. Evans.

“Pumpkin, who is this?” He asked, looking at James with amused eyes as he watched James try to make himself look presentable. He hadn’t exactly dressed up to come over.

“This is er, James. A friend from school.” Lily said softly.

Lily’s father stared at James for what seemed like forever, his eyes narrowing as he took in the boy’s messy clothes and his porcupine like hair.

“James, huh?” He asked.

Lily and James both nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.” James said.

“Is this the boy you’re always talking about, pumpkin? The ‘arrogant but totally gorgeous’ one?”

Lily felt her cheeks heat up as James and Mr. Evans started laughing.

James looked over at Lily, a grin splitting his face. “You talk about me with your parents?” He didn’t see the smack coming. 

#jily #jily headcanon #jily prompt #James Potter #james and lily potter #james and lily #James potter and Lily evans #Marauders #the marauders #marauder #the marauders era #hogwarts #Harry Potter #harry potter prompt

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Chapter 22 of The Sacrifices I Made is finished and has been uploaded onto fanfictiondotnet!

In this chapter Hermione is unhappy and distracted- she has boy problems. 

You can read the latest chapter here or if you're not a reader yet, why don't you check out the first chapter here?

#harry potter fanfiction #Hermione Granger #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #sirimione #sirius and hermione #James Potter #Lily Evans #regulus black #Marauders #marauder #marauders era #the marauders #hogwarts #Harry Potter #The sacrifices I made #sirius black love story #hermione back in time

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Why do people call each other bae?

Do they not realise that it stands for

BIGGEST

ARSEHOLE

EVER

I don't think that's a very endearing term

#bae #my bae #ive come to the conclusion #i've just realized this #bae is love bae is life