myowninsecuritiesb

[myowninsecuritiesb]

"The blacker the berry, the sweeter the Merlo"

#smino #merlo #black #berries

[myowninsecuritiesb]

cracking up at what am I influencing, my mental illness?? 😭😭😭 Tumblr is not that kind of space. It's probably the only safe place on the internet.

what's a tumblr influencer? what am i influencing? my mental illness? 😭

[myowninsecuritiesb]

[myowninsecuritiesb]

random draft from that one trip to Texas. This was a HARD crew. Aint met a group of people like them since. 

[myowninsecuritiesb]

A random blog with random feels

It's been almost 8 years since I came on this thing. I need an outlet though. I see how I literally am my worst enemy. I lost my job last month and really, I quit but I haven't been in the same mind set since then. It's been really hard to do the things that I would normally do. For the first time I was forced to leave my Pisces land of delusion and realize I was depressed. When people say you don't want to do the things you enjoy, I never realize how easy it was to slip into that mind. I literally gave every excuse. I didn't walk the dog until afternoon because the sun wasn't shining enough. There's always been so much pressure to do what's right or to make the best choices but honest I've found that living my life and doing what feels the best is my best option. Those right choices always left me with a feeling that I did not do what I wanted to do but had followed someone else's decision.

I went from being a hot girl to being a hot wife. My child is no longer just a child but a teenager. I really want to produce some music, but I feel like I don't have enough to my studio. I'm still grinding at jobs to make the money I need to do the things that I want, and I have grown beyond frustrated with the pattern.

I pray but I don't think I pray enough sometimes.

The random crippling within my soul tells me that all the layers are almost ripped off. I saw a black butterfly today. It flew beside me as i skated down my street. I know that the Woman I am becoming is close. I know I'll love who that is wholeheartedly. But I am indeed growing impatient with myself.

Its cold. Ill keep shining bright.

One of these days this name will be more than in the light.

#random #feels #backtotheblog #personal #self reflection #britt

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Has

[myowninsecuritiesb]

S/O to everyone with mental illnesses and still tryna maintain being in a healthy relationship/friendship with people. It takes so much strength.

[myowninsecuritiesb]

😂😂😂

Who got more hoes you or blackademics

That’s @blackademics right there end of discussion

[myowninsecuritiesb]

I want a nude suit

[myowninsecuritiesb]

😂😂😂😂 when u gone stop playing games. When my controller die maaaaan y'all wild. Why y'all not fucking. 😂😂😂😂😂 what happened?

#TurnDownPussy2016

@negusminded @basedonwhatisee @lucky-le0

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Do live in denial

Me: depression isn’t bothering me Me: *forgets to eat, either sleeps too much or not at all, feels nothing 90% of the time, doesn’t change clothes for 8 days* Me: positive vibes ✌

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Deeeead

[myowninsecuritiesb]

And nobody is around so you just sitting there

When you’re introverted as fuck, and your friend drags you to a party and then leaves you by yourself

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Thank you. I seriously needed that.

You think you need to be happy but really you want to be; nobody needs to be happy! People need to feel, you need to be sad, you need to be angry, you need to fear, you need to feel every emotion possible to truly experience your being. Happiness is not the be-all and end-all, you just want it more to relieve the immensity of your other feelings but you don’t need to avoid these emotions. Just as much as you have this bold desire for happiness, you should very well have the will to indulge in everything else as well. You want to feel a specific emotion and only that but what you need is to feel everything! It’s okay to feel.

[myowninsecuritiesb]

😍😍

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Happy Birthday Tupac Shakur

[myowninsecuritiesb]

Patrick work ya magic. Lord knows