morning-softness

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I love you tailors, I love you recycling center employees, I love you jewelry repair people, I love you tech repair people. I love you plumbers, I love you electricians. I love you all maintenance workers, who make it so things don't have to be fully replaced when they break.

There are so many ways to contribute to the climate movement.

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vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[morning-softness]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

#relationships

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ohh i forgot i doodled some little guys...

[morning-softness]

#sudan #current events

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this was posted on patreon a month ago together with the progress video, and the original post by @marypsue can be found here 💗

this time i deliberately left in the sketch lines :”)

[morning-softness]

when is comes to asexuality and aromanticism you have to be okay with contradiction. one ace person will say asexuality is about not experiencing attraction, another will say it’s about not caring to act on attraction, another will say it’s not experiencing arousal. one aromantic will consider themself queer, one won’t. two people with seemingly identical experiences will use two different labels. aro people will be in romantic relationships, ace people will have sex. you get it.

[morning-softness]

Nobody throws shade like a biologist with burning hatred for invasive plants

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placing my hands out placatingly, asking everyone to please be cool and not reignite og!elias burnt out gifted kid discourse. okay? okay. I think this is setting up some more sam and gwen parallels. from mag 193, we know that elias bouchard (original flavor) was told from a young age that he was smart but lazy, he was squandering his advantages, and he was wrong to envy other children because they were meaningless and he was better. he seemed to internalize this to some extent, because by the time he was in his early twenties he had no friends and no family and no real life, just the certainty that he was destined to deserve better.

I think it is reasonable to assume that gwen received similar messaging during her childhood, as she seems to be treating the OIAR the same way elias treated artefact storage (as a stepping stone job to a bigger career waiting for her up the ladder), and she takes a lot of offence when she feels disrespected. from magp 03, we know she's reticent to tell her friends that she's still working this same job, especially because the friend's party she was going to was to celebrate making partner at a law firm.

from this episode, we know that sam was declared "gifted" as a child and his parents rigorously enrolled him in every program they could find, and it started going down hill when the magnus institute rejected him (did they reject him outright or was he there for a bit and then kicked out? what he said to celia doesn't quite fit his earlier statements, but moving on). he has a lot of pent up and fixated feelings about not being chosen by them, he didn't get into oxford, he just missed the highest grades, and he's reticent to tell his parents that he's working this job, especially because he used to be at a law firm.

we know the bouchards are a wealthy and influential family, and as sam speaks with a south asian accent I think it's safe to assume that his family immigrated. of course, there's a massive amount of variation in the socioeconomic statuses of south asian immigrant families in the UK, and I don't know enough about how british gifted kids programs work to know if sam having been in a bunch of them would imply anything about his parents' disposable income, but nonetheless I still think their different backgrounds potentially say a lot about how they handle these feelings of not meeting the high standards that were expected of / promised to them. gwen is fighting to be on the same level of social status and power as her peers, and sam probably felt like he was he had opportunities for upward mobility in this brand new place but kept failing them. it's causing both of them to be very active characters, they are the two people pushing the story forward the most by far, but the ways in which they are active diverge greatly.

gwen, until recently, had felt like she was unfairly stagnating, like she was "not most people" and was cut out for better, and being constantly barred from climbing the ladder made her both resentful of lena and extremely paranoid / insecure about her own worth. now that she's starting to crack it into the "real work," it's obviously taking a great toll on her, but she doesn't want to back out, she wants to prove herself and take what's rightfully hers and not show herself to be unfit for real power. her actions appear to be guided by an ethos that her life hasn't been wasted yet, she still has time to make good, she just needs to ignore that weakness masquerading as a conscience, please god don't let her fail.

sam feels like he's made mistake after mistake after mistake and led himself to his own desperate state where he only just managed to avoid destitution because his ex was kind enough to hook him up with an emergency job that is actively destroying his physical and emotional health, and he has pinned all this frustration on trying to figure out what the magnus institute was all about and why it didn't choose him. like gwen, great things were expected of him, but unlike her he doesn't seem to still be striving for them, that dried up when he had a breakdown at his last job. now he just wants to figure it out and make sense of it, as if solving the mystery will let him fix it and undo all that time and un-waste his promised potential. his actions seem to be guided by an ethos that, even though he's already screwed everything right up, solving the ghosts that haunt his life will some how lessen their burden and maybe, just maybe, give him closure on the Flaw That Doomed Him and allow him to move past it without dragging it still forward.

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #sam khalid #samama khalid #gwen bouchard #gwendolyn bouchard #tmagp meta #tmagp spoilers

[morning-softness]

fishes for the homos i mean homies

[ID: nine fish with collaged scales of different colored and patterned paper, each with glittery fins.]

#cute!

[morning-softness]

Writing Intellectually Disabled Characters

[large text: writing intellectually disabled characters]

Something that very rarely comes up in disability media representation are intellectually disabled characters. There is very little positive representation in media in general (and basically none in media meant specifically for adults or in YA). I hope this post can maybe help someone interested in writing disabled characters understand the topic better and create something nice. This is just a collection of thoughts of only one person with mild ID (me) and I don’t claim to speak for the whole community as its just my view. This post is meant to explain how some parts of ID work and make people aware of what ID is.

This post is absolutely not meant for self diagnosis (I promise you would realize before seeing a Tumblr post about it. it’s a major disorder that gets most people thrown into special education).

Before: What is (and isn’t) intellectual disability?

ID is a single, life-long neurodevelopment condition that affects IQ and causes problems with reasoning, problem‑solving, remembering and planning things, abstract thinking and learning. There is often delay or absence of development milestones like walking (and other kinds of movement), language and self care skills (eating, going to the bathroom, washing, getting dressed etc). Different people will struggle with different things to different degrees. I am, for example, still fully unable to do certain movements and had a lot of delay in self-care, but I had significantly less language-related delay than most of people with ID I know. Usually the more severe a person’s ID is the more delay they will have.

Intellectual disability is one single condition and it doesn’t make sense to call it “intellectual disabilities” (plural) or “an intellectual disability”. It would be like saying “they have a Down Syndrome” or “he has autisms”. The correct way would be “she has intellectual disability” or “ze is intellectually disabled”.

Around 1-3% of people in the world have intellectual disability and most have mild ID (as opposed to moderate, severe, or profound). It can exist on its own without any identifiable condition or it can be a part of syndrome. There is over a thousand (ranging from very common to extremely rare) conditions that can cause ID but the most common are Down Syndrome, Fragile X Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Autism, Edwards Syndrome, DiGeorge Syndrome and microcephaly. Not every condition always causes ID and you can have one of the above conditions without having ID as long as it’s not necessary diagnostic criteria to be met. For example around 30% of autistic people have ID, meaning that the rest 70% doesn’t. It just means that it’s comorbid often enough to be counted as a major cause but still, autistic ≠ intellectually disabled most of the time.

A lot of things that cause intellectual disability also come with facial differences, epilepsy, mobility-related disabilities, sensory disabilities, and limb differences. A lot, but not all, intellectually disabled people go to special education schools.

Intellectual disability isn’t the same as brain damage. Brain damage can occur at any point of a person’s life while ID always starts in or before childhood.

“Can My Character Be [Blank]?”

[large text: “Can my character be [blank]?”]

The difficulty with writing characters with intellectual disability is that unlike some other things you can give your character, ID will very directly impacts how your character thinks and behaves - you can’t make the whole character and then just slap the ID label on them.

Intellectually disabled people are extremely diverse in terms of personality, ability, verbality, mobility… And you need to consider those things early because deciding that your character is nonverbal and unable to use AAC might be an issue if you’re already in the middle of writing a dialogue scene.

For broader context, a person with ID might be fully verbal - though they would still probably struggle with grammar, what some words mean, or with general understanding of spoken/written language to some degree. Or they could also be non-verbal. While some non-verbal ID people use AAC, it’s not something that works for everyone and some people rely on completely language-less communication only. There is also the middle ground of people who are able to speak, but only in short sentences, or in a way that’s not fully understandable to people who don’t know them. Some might speak in second or third person.

Depending on the severity of your character’s disability they will need help with different tasks. For example, I’m mildly affected and only need help with “complex” tasks like shopping or taxes or appointments, but someone who is profoundly affected will probably need 24/7 care. It’s not infantilization to have your character receive the help that they need. Disabled people who get help with bathing or eating aren’t “being treated like children”, they just have higher support needs than me or you. In the same vein, your character isn’t “mentally two years old” or “essentially a toddler”, they are a twenty-, or sixteen-, or fourty five-year old who has intellectual disability. Mental age isn’t real. Intellectually disabled people can drink, have sex, smoke, swear, and a bunch of other things. A thirty year old disabled person is an adult, not a child!

An important thing is that a person with ID has generally bad understanding of cause-and-effect and might not make connections between things that people without ID just instinctively understand. For example, someone could see that their coat is in a different place than they left it, but wouldn’t be able to deduce that then it means that someone else moved it or it wouldn’t even occur to them as a thing that was caused by something. I think every (or at least most) ID person struggles with this to some extent. The more severe someone’s disability is the less they will be able to connect usually (for example someone with profound ID might not be able to understand the connection between the light switch and the light turning off and on).

People with mild intellectual disability have the least severe problems in functioning and some are able to live independently, have a job, have kids, stuff like that.

What Tropes Should You Avoid?

[large text: what tropes should you avoid?]

The comic relief/punching bag;

The predator/stalker;

The “you could change this character into a sick dog and there wouldn’t be much difference”;

…and a lot more but these are the most prevalent in my experience.

Most ID characters are either grossly villainized (more often if they have also physical disabilities or facial differences) or extremely dehumanized or ridiculed, or all of the above. It’s rarely actually *mentioned* for a character to be intellectually disabled, but negative “representation” usually is very clear that this who they’re attempting to portray. The portrayal of a whole group of people as primarily either violent predators, pitiful tragedies or nothing more than a joke is damaging and you probably shouldn’t do that. It’s been done too many times already.

When those tropes aren’t used the ID character is still usually at the very most a side character to the main (usually abled) character. They don’t have hobbies, favorite foods, movies or music they like, love interests, friends or pets of their own and are very lucky if the author bothered to give them a last name. Of course it’s not a requirement to have all of these but when there is *no* characterization in majority of disabled characters, it shows. They also usually die in some tragic way, often sacrificing themselves for the main character or just disappear in some off-the-screen circumstances. Either way, they aren’t really characters, they’re more like cardboard cutouts of what a character should be - the audience has no way to care for them because the author has put no care into making the character interesting or likable at all. Usually their whole and only personality and character trait is that they have intellectual disability and it’s often based on what the author thinks ID is without actually doing any research.

What Terms to Use and Not Use

[large text: What Terms to Use and Not Use]

Words like: “intellectually disabled” or “with/have intellectual disability” are terms used by people with ID and generally OK to use from how much I know. I believe more people use the latter (person first language) for themselves but i know people who use both. I use the first more often but I don’t mind the second. Some people have strong preference with one over the other and that needs to be respected.

Terms like:

“cursed with intellectual disability”

“mentally [R-slur]”

“moron”

“idiot”

“feeble-minded”

“imbecile”

is considered at least derogatory by most people and I don’t recommend using it in your writing. The last 5 terms directly come from outdated medical terminology specifically regarding ID and aren’t just “rude”, they’re ableist and historically connected to eugenics. To me personally they’re highly offensive and I wouldn’t want to read something that referred to its character with ID with those terms.

(Note: there are, in real life, people with ID that refer to themselves with the above… but this is still just a writing guide. Unless you belong to the group i just mentioned I would advise against writing that, especially if this post is your entire research so far.)

Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability

[large text: Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability]

[format borrowed from WWC]

I want to see more characters with intellectual disability that…

aren’t only white boys.

are LGBT+.

are adults.

are allowed to be angry without being demonized, and sad without being infantilized.

are not described as “mentally X years old”.

are respected by others.

aren’t “secretly smart” or “emotionally smart”.

are able to live independently with some help.

aren’t able to live independently at all and aren’t mocked for that.

are in romantic relationships or have crushes (interabled… or not!).

are non-verbal or semi-verbal.

use mobility aids and/or AAC.

have hobbies they enjoy.

have caregivers.

have disabilities related to their ID.

have disabilities completely unrelated to their ID.

have friends and family who like and support them.

go on cool adventures.

are in different genres: fantasy, romComs, action, slice of life… all of them.

have their own storylines.

aren’t treated as disposable.

don’t die or disappear at the first possible opportunity.

…and I want to see stories that have multiple intellectually disabled characters.

I hope that this list will give someone inspiration to go and make their first OC with intellectual disability ! This is just a basic overview to motivate writers to do their own research rather than a “all-knowing post explaining everything regarding ID”. I definitely don’t know everything especially about the parts of ID that I just don’t experience (or not as much as others). This is only meant to be an introduction for people who don’t really know what ID is or where to even start.

Talk to people with intellectual disability (you can send ask here but there are also a lot of other people on Tumblr who have ID and I know at least some have previously answered asks as well if you want someone else’s opinion!), watch/read interviews with people who have ID (to start - link1, link2, both have captions) and try to rethink what you think about intellectual disability. Because it’s really not that rare like a lot of people seem to think. Please listen to us when we speak.

Good luck writing and thank you for reading :-) (smile emoji)

mod Sasza

#writing tips #writing disability #writing intellectually disabled characters

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Statement begins

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #peak Jon #tma fanart

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[ID: The Magnus Archives fanart of Jon and Martin kissing in Jon's office. Jon sits at his desk, his fist is balled in Martin's shirt, and he is pulling him down for the kiss. There is a spilled mug of tea, and several papers fluttering to the ground by Martin's hand. There is a painting of Jonah Magnus on the wall behind Jon and Martin. He looks at the viewer with wide eyes. The office is cramped and messy, there are boxes and stacks of paper on the floor and shelves. There are small references to each of the 14 fears in the background. They are as follows: a coffin drawn on the chalkboard, a skull on the shelf on the left wall, a copy of The Bone Turner's Tale, a jar of ashes, and a spider on the shelf behind Jon, fog in the hopper windows near the ceiling, candles, a pair of antlers, a knife, and a clown doll on the shelf behind Martin, a surrealist painting of a door on a flat landscape, a tall painting of a ship on a stormy sea -both on the right wall-, and a cracked cabinet door revealing complete darkness on the left side of the room. End ID]

Jonmartin sucking face in a messy environment?? by me???? it's more likely than you think. (a commission for @primtheamazing <333)

#oooh i love this so much #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #tma fanart

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*something minimally embarrassing happens on a light hearted tv show*

me to myself, covering my eyes with a blanket: "don't worry baby it's not real, it's only actors. In real life embarrassing things don't actually happen"

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starting a compilation of my favorite "no thank you" buttons from when they want you to subscribe so bad

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if any body else ever learns how to edit a PDF or use excel im out of a job. that is the only thing i do here. then again, given the likelyhood that someone will actually figure out how to edit a PDF, im pretty sure im set for life.

now if you'll excuse me, im off to go explain the concept of an external harddrive. again.

#stories

[morning-softness]

Fanfic writers, I am begging you- even with dialogue that is clearly attributed, start a new paragraph with each new speaker. The reader shouldn't have to wait until after the dialogue is spoken to understand who is saying it.

Even if it's one word?

Yes.

But it makes things so long!

Great! Your stories will be the king of scrolling, a feast of thumbs, and a gentle stroke across a phone screen.

This convention exists for a reason! Each new paragraph should be a new idea or a new speaker. It's a shortcut for our brains to know that we have jumped across a gap and into the unknown, and you as the writer are about to explain to me where we have jumped to, but at least I know we are somewhere different.

Please practice this! I see so many good fanfic I want to read but except for this huge, glaring issue and it becomes impossible to understand what is happening.

#writing tips #writing