mormontdacey

[mormontdacey]

#criston cole

[mormontdacey]

#buyer beware #anna lore

[mormontdacey]

Been re-reading agot via listening to the audio book on my commutes and there is nothing like being slapped in the face by the things germ decided to write about women while stuck in 9-5 traffic

he can write nuanced female characters with rich internal lives and complicated morality but you also are going to have to hear about what their tits look like in a weird amount of detail. it’s brutal out here

#me reading dany x #such a great chapter but there are moments when i’m like???? #dawg what #george r.r. martin

[mormontdacey]

jaimefailures and cringefail moments in agot ranked by how hilarious they are to me personally

honorable mention: getting captured by a ginger kid half his age who has never been to battle and grew a beard like last week

5. hitting on the mom of the boy lord who captured him right after he gets captured—in front of the boy and his bannermen

4. throwing bran from the tower (but not hard enough)

3. i know i talked about this in another post but losing his tilt against the hound so bad that his super cool customized golden helmet gets screwed on backwards so he has to be shuffled off at stage right while peasants laugh at him

2. matching outfits with cersei //context is that he’s just thrown bran from the tower, but matching outfits in their 30s is embarrassing enough

1. having his name tossed around for major government positions (warden of the east, hand of the king) but not getting them because everybody finds him annoying as hell

#my beautiful loser boy of a lion <3 #jaime lannister #valyrianscrolls

[mormontdacey]

in ned’s first scene, he administers the king’s justice & his last scene is his own death at the hands of the king’s justice. who kills him using the sword he used to do the first beheading. the cycles are cycling!!!!

#ned stark #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

whoever said asoiaf isn’t realistic? in catelyn xi, cat delivers a passionate plea for sanity to the war council and in the middle of it, casually mentions in front of all robb’s bannermen that she’s 99.9% sure he’s never even kissed a girl. like my mom would absolutely do that too

#robb stark #catelyn tully stark #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

i knew hbo got hated women but like reading the books, it’s clear that it was calculated. they took choices away from female characters and stripped them of agency, especially dany

to be honest, i was not a fan of show!dany, long before the mad queen arc. i found her annoying and entitled and not very smart. her crusade to free the slaves felt hollow to me, like she was just using them to invade westeros. but “these men will die screaming” is so much more significant when dany is swearing to avenge eroeh, a slave girl who dany was under no obligation to protect but actively chose to

tl;dr D&D can rot in hell

#daenerys targaryen #hbo game of thrones #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

i think sansa should start killing people

#joffrey i hate you so much #idc that u have terrible parents lots of people do #sansa stark #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

the thing about robb that makes his chapters so difficult for me is that from day zero he is in that damn narrative. he never gets to be normal. he’s jumping from eldest son drowning in paperwork to noble war lord to reluctant king in the north to honorable oathbreaker to tragic murder victim and we just have to watch him do that

#robb stark #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

catelyn tully 🤝 me

loving dacey mormont and believing in her and

#catelyn tully stark #dacey mormont #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

cat reminisces about waiting for “her men” (catelyn x, pp. 695)

1. her dad who she’s devoted to because she’s the oldest daughter

2. her ex fiancé who died in a torture device like a week before they were supposed to get married

3. her dead fiancé’s brother who she married and loved and built a family with and is now imprisoned

4. her eldest son, the light of her life who is leading a host to war

5. and last but certainly not least JAIME LANNISTER kingslayer, gilded knight, man without honor, etc. who is definitely not supposed to be part of this list but he’s RIGHT next to robb so i’m including him sorry edmure get wrecked bro

#agot lb #catelyn tully stark #hoster tully #brandon stark #ned stark #robb stark #jaime lannister #valyrianscrolls

[mormontdacey]

OFFICIAL RIVERLANDS SCOREBOARD:

robb the (teen war)lord: 1

tywin lannister, former hand of the king and ultimate westerosi alpha male: 0

jaime lannister: -5 and serving time in the penalty box

#robb stark #tywin lannister #jaime lannister #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

tywin commanding the reserve vs. robb choosing the most dangerous assignment (like ned)

#tywin lannister #robb stark #ned stark #agot lb

[mormontdacey]

cheaper by the dozen 2 is all over my fyp page and it's a favorite childhood movie so. stark/baratheon-lannister au

ned stark and robert baratheon were childhood friends. when the kids were young, they all used to go to the lake together but ned and robert fell out hard when robert tried to date ned's little sister lyanna

buuuut sansa's got a big time fashion internship coming up this fall in king's landing so ned's like we gotta go back to the lake!! one last time!! for family!!

they show up at the lake and ned's rented a dinky little oyster shack across from robert's mcmansion called storm's end

robert's got a hot young heiress trophy wife, cersei, and three golden children (plus gendry from a prev relationship)

rickon sets off fireworks at a clambake that causes a boat to blow up and bran to roll into the lake

sideplot: ned keeps bothering robb about what they're gonna name his and jeyne's baby

theon (ned's reluctantly adopted loser son) falls off the shitty old dock that ned's fixing because he's craning his neck trying to check out that hot blonde college girl with the lower back tattoo swimming by (myrcella)

robert invites the starks to storm's end for brunch (his and cersei's mimosas are 90% champagne) and does not stop talking about how their family china was a gift from the prince of dorne so ned recruits arya (who recruits rickon) to mess with robert. cue meat seat scene with shaggydog

also theon spills mimosas on cat and she has to wear the hot mama shirt that she borrowed from cersei

afterward, robert calls the starks crackups and ned convinces cat to enter the stupid cup competition again..even though none of the kids want to

gendry asks arya out (sansa helps her get ready) and we get "the move" scene with ned and robert in the movie theatre

next morning, everyone is so grossed out by ned going full helicopter dad that only rickon goes to the competition with him... but cat gives a speech about "the pack" and everyone shows up just in time. ned's nephew who tagged along (jon) is carrying the raggedy old WINTER IS COMING flag and his gf val is pushing bran's wheelchair

jeyne goes into labor during the do-or-die canoe race and robb FREAKS and the starks throw away the championship. cersei refuses to get out of her canoe so she ends up drifting with joffrey while the others go to help the starks. (robert's mostly treading water, but she doesn't care)

#asoiaf modern au #cheaper by the dozen 2 #ned stark #robert baratheon #house stark #house baratheon #house lannister

[mormontdacey]

#i just know his brain would explode #george r.r. martin

[mormontdacey]

my forever favorite character dynamic of all time

#hbo game of thrones

[mormontdacey]

This wouldn't happen to me if i were a huge dragon

#aerion targaryen