miss-ing-diary
Miss Ing's Not-So-Secret Diary
Boundless dreamer, forever seeking new horizons.
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Diary Entry #23
September 27, 2023
Expired Feelings / Not used to
Hi! It's me again. I just want to share something. It's about him. Yeah, him, the guy whom I had a crush on.
Well, since the last time I saw him, my feelings have become blurred. I'm sure for the past days that I don't have feelings for him anymore. I mean his presence doesn't affect me anymore.
I'm totally fine with that. I mean, he's already had someone, and I know that I will just hurt myself in the end. As I said, it's fine with me if I don't have a love life, so I will just make it slide. Moreover, this is just a short-term admiration for someone that will expire eventually.
Yet, something happened today that really bothers me. This happened at lunchtime. We're in the computer room because we're photocopying the exam for tomorrow. Of course, he was there because he was; he helped us. He was praised by a co-teacher. She said that, besides being a good guy, he was also good-looking, then she turned her face towards me and asked for my approval. It was really embarrassing, and it really caught me off guard, so I just ignored it. Afterwards, he called my name and asked for something, which I answered, then immediately turned my back, completely cutting off our conversation.
When I told that to my mother, she called me "stupid" for doing that. She says that he opened a conversation for us, and I just did that. According to her, it was like I'm revealing that I have a crush on him. Eh, what can I do? I didn't want anyone to talk to me from the opposite sex. I wasn't used to such things. I just hope that he won't misunderstand it or anything, for that matter.
I still feel the embarrassment.
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Diary Entry #22
September 20, 2023
Lately, I haven't felt the passion for teaching in my heart. My desire to establish my authority brought me to this. It is as if I became a total stranger to myself a year ago. It felt like something had been missing in me since the school year started.
I lost compassion and the connection with my new students, unlike what I built with my first students. I am not from who I was a year ago, and it felt sucky!
I just realized it now. My inclination to build strong authority makes me look at the outside, not from the inside, without even trying to understand why they act like that, and I really felt sorry for it. This is not me.
It's as if I lost my purpose and goal to become the teacher that students can rely on. From now on, I'll try to bring back myself from a year ago. I'll try to reach each and every one of my students like I did with my old ones.
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Diary Entry #21
August 17, 2023
Why is it that every time we meet, it's the time I'm too haggard? T_T
So, this is what happened today. I was busy painting the chairs that my students will use this incoming school year. I knew, even though I don't look in the mirror, that I look so haggard. They happened to be strolling around, so they passed my room. When suddenly he stopped and took a look inside my room, I didn't know what to do at that moment, so I pretended to be busy with something.
ALL THE TIME! It's always been like that since the brigada started. I see him every time I looked exhausted. >w< Of course, I wanted to look good for him. Aah! I don't know anymore.
That's all for today!
#thoughtoftheday#thoughts#miss-ing diary#my thoughts#wander lust#work diaries#work stuff#my work#work blogging
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Diary Entry #20
August 14, 2023
Hi, it's me again! So, basically one of my co-workers has found out who I'm crushing on. Well, it's not hard for her to guess it since we only have six co-workers who men are. It's kind of embarrassing on my part that she knew that, but I just let it slide after all as she said, "it's just a crush".
You know what? I just realize something, even if I already convinced myself that I will ignore these feelings, there's still a possibility that I will feel pain or let's say jealousy towards her longtime girlfriend. *sigh*
Not that I'm expecting something to happen, I'm contented looking at him from a far.
Anyways, today was a busy day because of the brigada eskwela. Due to lack of sleep, I kinda felt dizzy at the afternoon and of course I got scolded again by mom and dad because of it.
I'll stop from here. I got to sleep and take back some sleep. So long!
#thoughtoftheday#thoughts#miss-ing diary#my thoughts#work diaries#work stuff#my work#work blogging#wander lust
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Diary Entry #19
August 03, 2023
"People come and go."
This quote flashed through my mind again as I looked at the principal of the school where I work as she said goodbye to us. She got promoted recently, so she will be transferred to another school, which is good for her. Of course, we are happy for her, but at the same time, we felt sad about the news. I mean, she was with us for seven or eight months, and we are used to her presence as our school head. To be honest, she was fine, and I know everyone saw her dedication to her responsibility. She always encourages us to continue to thrive for our professional growth. She even approached me last time and told me to continue my studies so that I could use them as my promotion.
Oh well, as they say, nothing is permanent.
Anyway, I give a thought to what I said last time here, and I just want to say that I will not entertain this slight admiration for that someone anymore. I couldn't afford to be hurt again and take the risk of being reckless because of that. I will remain a professional. I will focus more on myself first. This is for the better. That would be all! Thank you for reading!
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October 31, 2022
Diary Entry #16
Summary of the 7th week
Unlike the past weeks, I didn't get the chance to update everyday before posting the actual and detailed summary of my week, so I'll just summarize based on what I felt.
This week was up and down for me in the emotional department. Probably because of him. Yeah, I know. I know. familiar lines, isn't it? Well, I'm not joking around. This time, besides Ate Angee, Ate Rea, Cess, and our TL knew about him too. If you're going to ask, Ate Rea guessed it, and Cess knew it by observation. She told me that I was so obvious that I unconsciously smiled whenever he was around. And what about Sir Henry? Well, I don't know how he knew or if he got the right guy. All I knew was that I was embarrassed that even our tl knew it too.
So, where are we? Oh, I remember. This week brought me joy and sadness. I already got a call from DEPED, and that means my time at my current job will soon come to an end, and I have to say goodbye to my new friends. There's no exact time, but I know it will be soon, so I'm thinking about how I will tell them.
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Diary Entry #18
July 25, 2023
Hi! It's me again. I knew I'd been very busy lately, and the reason I'm here again is to share about this amazing person.
He is one of my acquaintances at the school where I am working. Since I started, he has been the one who has helped me with the documents I needed. When I still don't have a printer of my own, I'll just go to him, and then he will be the one who prints it. He is really kind and gentle, as our co-workers told me. He will do as much as he can to help those in need, and that's why I admire him. I know, okay? With all those I've experienced with men in the past, I should've known better, and I promised I totally ignored it at first. I mean, he is what he is. I won't make the same mistake again—falling for and misunderstanding the kindness of others. Besides, I'm really fine with my life now. Focusing on helping my parents and starting to build for my own. I convinced myself that I don't need love and just see him as one of my co-workers.
Yet, something has changed inside my heart lately. I started to feel a small butterfly inside my stomach whenever I saw him. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him smiling from afar. I always looked out for him whenever the teachers had a meeting or gathering. Honestly, I felt bad when I didn't see him at the school outing. I thought he would not come, but I was wrong. I automatically smiled when I saw him from one of the cottages.
The only problem with this feeling is that he is already committed to someone else; he already has a fiancée, and to my knowledge, he is already preparing to transfer to the place where her love is. It's kind of sad; to be honest, I really felt sad hearing it from him, but this is for the best, I guess?
And to you whom I am referring to this entry
Just like Taylor says,
All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you.
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April 04, 2023
Diary Entry #17
Hi! so… I knew it had been a while since I posted an entry here. There have been many changes in my life over the last few months. I left the company to pursue the new opportunity that was presented to me. I admit that the first months were really hard as I adjusted to my new work, but at the same time, it was really fulfilling whenever I saw the faces of my students, whom I treated as my own children, especially when I knew that they were improving or when they learned our lessons.
I was really happy with the achievements that I got last year, even though I broke my heart for the nth time. I finally learned my lesson. I don't need any men in my life. I can stand on my own now, of course, with the guide and help from above and the support of family. It's time to really love myself. I decided to fulfill my other goals, such as buying a house, a car, and a lot more.
I'm really thankful that I chose this path, for this is my purpose: to teach children.
Although most of the time they give me a lot of headaches, they are all sweet and good children. They sometimes caught my guard off. For example, I will receive hugs from those who seems to be aloof to me at first. When those happens it really flutters my heart. I want to be close to them as much as possible for that I could teach them well.
I really love my students.
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“It doesn't matter whether it is a childish thing or not because even if you don't see them. They're still out there.” - Isla Verlaine (Blood of Temptations)
Blood of Temptations - COMPLETED (Revised) - Jhaslyne Dane - Wattpad
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June 12, 2022
Diary Entry #16
and you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
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October 23, 2022
Diary Entry #15
Monday comes and nothing much happened this day except for when I got to work and went to my usual spot he then took a glimpse of me then turned back to what he is doing which is talking with his seatmate. We had a little meeting and that's it. One more thing, do you remember what I told when I was thrown out from POD to releasing department? Well, I felt it again. I don't know if I'm just being emotional here but I felt unwanted. Ate Rea was supposed to be in my shift and not me and I could see on Cess that she wanted her soo... *faint smile*. Nonetheless, I understand because she was her friend. No hard feelings. I just thought I belonged to the group.
So, move forward. As usual I greeted those people whom I have connection with as I went inside the office. I asked Ate Donna if the admin will give me a pen since mine will be empty soon and I saw him took a glimpse of me and Ate Donna but I just didn't mind it. Next thing was I went to admin and exchange my empty pen with a new one. I felt a little embarrassed because the Head admin was watching the scene I've caused last night. The scene was when I got angry with the trucker who didn't know how to follow instructions. She said “natuwa siya dahil nakita niya akong umimik”. She even said that “galit ako pero nandoon pa rin 'yung lambing sa boses ko” 🫣. When I went out the admins' office I run towards Juls showing my new pen (it was a childish thing to do I know but it is my usual reactions so sorry, okay?). Anyways, he was near Juls that time so he also watching me while I ran towards where they were sitting. After that I sat on his left side since I was doing something there when he said that I was so diligent and then asked me the reason why I didn't want to be in their shift. It was confusing so I wouldn't include that part here. After that he went outside (maybe to get his motorcycle) and I got to work in peace. I greeted Kuya Rocky when I saw him and he said “Hi” back to me. He even imitate what Kuya Rocky said and said hi to me too that's when I've noticed that he came back. After that he offered me the last three of his goods but I refused because I don't eat what he is selling but then he said “Hindi ka kumakain? Pwes ngayon kakain ka”. After that it became messy and that's all I would be sharing here. See you 'til then!
So... Morning came and Ate Ange and yours truly were left out by our shuttle, so we decided to get on the motorbike of our co-worker who was also going home. Well, they agreed, so we just need to borrow a helmet from our other coworkers. Ate Angge found and borrowed one, so I'm the only one who needs to borrow a helmet. I joked about borrowing his helmet, and Ate Angge took notice of it and approached him. She even called him 10 percent. 🫣
Luckily, he let me borrow it and said, “Sana all aangkas.” He even said that his helmet was big and asked if it would fit on my head. He then laughed a little when I asked Ate Angge to slow down while we were walking towards the lockers. After that, when we got the helmets, he said that I should go to work later or he wouldn't be able to go home because I had his helmet. Ahhhh!!!! This is a crazy day!
Ahh... sudden change. One word I felt today. a change in style, a change in perspective, and a change in heart. Yes, my heart and I think this change is good. Well, I think I just misunderstood his kindness for something. That's why these feelings formed, but now... I was enlightened. I felt kind of awkward in the office. Everyone has been noticing the change that I'm making to myself and for that I get teased all the time. They even asked if I already had a boyfriend or if I was in love with someone. I had to admit that it felt good that everyone had noticed it. To be honest, there are three reasons why I started to be cautious about my looks. One is for self love, two is because of Ate April. She always told me whenever she got a chance that she wanted to see some change in me and I knew it was for my own sake too, so... and the last one is for someone, not for 10 percent but for someone. He is so kind, sensible, responsible, and diligent. His smile makes me want to smile too. Tbh, he already got my attention even though I dunno, I just didn't pay any attention to it. I won't give any details about him, so mianhamnida! I don't know what to do. I want him to notice me too, but I don't want him to feel awkward, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and just do my work. Be content with seeing him from a distance.
Overall, my week was peaceful and nice. I hope for it this week too. :)
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October 17, 2022
Diary Entry #14
Summary of the sixth week
A big sigh for monday comes again...
I got enough rest for two days since starting today I will be in night shift. Big yehey!!! No CSR, no ASN, and no critical accounts needed to have a PO's. *Smiles*
This week will be another and reset week and let's do our best self, okay?
I got my readings today. Somehow, I felt at ease when I saw the chariot and the empress on my cards. Flash forward. I'm at the office. He took a glimpse of me... I thought it would end right there, but he went beside me and said “sana all pang gabi na”. I didn't respond, so he turned his back. Well, you know, I show a stern face on the surface, but inside my heart flutters a little. That ends it.
The first night was nuts, yet it was fun! I knew there were rumors about ghosts at work, but I can't believe that I will saw it with my own eyes. I don't get why people always connect white clothes to ghosts. Ghosts do not always wear white clothing, at least not the ones I have seen or encountered in my life. She wore a normal shirt and a long skirt. Up to now, I can't erase the image out of my mind. That woman really shook the hell out of me.
Tuesday came and, well, as usual, I got to work and got to see him again. To be honest, I felt like a stranger to the people in the morning shift (one of the reasons why I don't like to be part of them). Yeah, that's right, even if he is part of it. Anyway, the first thing I did when I got inside the office was to stay in the corner. I saw him doing some crossword puzzle on his computer, and I felt content just taking a glimpse of his back. Minutes passed when his shift was about to end. He went to the corner where I was doing something to sign the overtime form. When I excused myself because technically he was on the way, he laughed a little and said his apology like? Why? He didn't do anything wrong. I moved forward and it was 6 pm. I was segregating some documents when my co-worker suddenly touched my back. When I flinched because of shock when I heard his laugh behind my back right after I reacted, and when he was asked why he laughed, he said it was nothing. Not to make an assumption, but is it just a coincidence or that he was actually watching me from the back? Ahhh!!! Stop thinking anything self.
It's just Wednesday so as usual, I got to work and saw him doing his work too. When his shift was about to end, Ate Rea was turning over, he suddenly asked Ate Rea and Julius to go home, which made me a little confused because they drive home differently. Anyways, when Ate Rea was done and I sat in front of the computer, he went beside me and excused himself to use it, so my initial response was to stand up and turn my back on him. I've heard that Fatima even teased him because of what he did. Something like he took my place. That's why I left. I finished the documents that needed to be segregated and then gave them to our supervisor. After a couple of minutes, our supervisor called me and told me the error. I immediately got the documents and went outside. I heard our supervisor call him. When I went back in, he approached me and eagerly asked me about the matter. When it was done, we formed a circle for our meeting. Our supervisors and team leads just talked about something regarding the company, then he said something that made me look at him. After that he asked why I was looking at him so I answered nothing (that part made me confused). Nonetheless, this day was very tiring.
Thursday, nothing much happened so let's go forward to friday. I don't know, but this day was different than the other days. I was extra happy. Why do you ask? Well, it was because of him. To be honest, I'm not expecting anything to happen between us since he seemed to be in a bad mood when I tried to approach him yesterday. So, back to the present. I was calling for Juls when he came from the door and responded to my call (he has the same name as Juls, so that makes sense). Then, of course, I told him that he wasn't the one I was calling. After a couple of minutes, Ate Angee came and I greeted her. I felt a little off because of the presence of the other shift. Ate Rea seems to have changed since we started the night shift. Anyways, I called Ate because I had something to tell her. When she responded, I told her that I'd tell her later when he also asked about what I was going to say. He was signing an overtime form at that time, so that's why he heard it. After that, he went beside me and asked it again. That's why I called him “tsismoso”. He reached for my handy notebook when I snatched it away from him and said “no”. After that, he went out to get ready to go home obviously and I started to do my work since it was nearly our shift when he came back again and stayed beside me. He complained to Ate Angee because I always makes “trip” him “daw” which I never did (like when? I don't even approached him when it doesn't work related). Then Ate Angee told him to go home because he was distracting. Aaaahhhh... overall I was very happy today.
Saturday comes, I went to work and the first face I saw was his. I went to my usual place and tried to finish writing an entry here when I accidentally looked at him and saw he was looking at me too. He then played a hide and seek gesture to me (papansin amp) but it just a couple of minutes because I was busy. Then I went beside Princess when I saw a new face and when that new face greeted me I was shocked because it was Kuya JL. 🥰 He came back to get his clearance. I was told “cute” by Joseph because of my hair style (well I preferred my hair looked that day too. Emo style 😝)
Overall, I was really happy this week because it was stress free. 'Til again!
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October 10, 2022
Diary Entry #13
Summary of my fifth week
So, hey! What are you doing? I hope you're just doing fine when you read this. This is the summary of my fifth week at work.
How would I described this week? Hmm... The word that best described it was a DISASTER.
Just like any other day I was in office I experience much stress this week. Since the peak season arrived, there were so many trucks that we should accommodate and papers to be released.
You know what, actually there is nothing wrong with my work for real. The only thing that gave me stress was the CSR. I mean... why we should asked them about purchase order or advance shipment notice when they could've send it on viber. And they should be active on monitoring everyday so that they could give what the documents needed by the truckers that day without the releasing department asking for it. I mean what if we missed? The fault will always be ours to claim? That's unfair especially if we are doing our best at work!
Anyway, we got new hired this week. Two for releasing department. One for load planner department, one for picklist, and one for the invoice department. Due to that we got a little meeting for them to be introduced. We went to the conference room and got a little chit chat when he arrived (as usual late). He went straight to my side (well, at least... Because I was sitting beside his friend. He looked at me and all of the sudden tapped my shoulder three times as if it was a way of his greeting. It was kinda hard so I winced a little. Nonetheless, it seems like forever since the last time he approached me so it's fine.
I swear I can't help but to smile the entire meeting after that. It was a good thing that I had a mask on my face. Yet, I never thought that'll ends there. For when morning comes I made mistake again and one of the factor was with the CSR (See? I should change the S in CSR as STRESS). I caused another trouble and I looked like a fool in his eyes again.
The next morning, yours truly can't even looked at his eyes because of shame. I went straight to help Ate Rea. Since it was time for them to log out because of the shifting, I just took a glimpse of his back and focus in what Ate Rea was saying. Then suddenly he came back and was giving something. I don't understand it since I was listening to Ate Rea. All I knew is he was giving something like a ball pen (I don't even know whether he's talking to me or to ate so I didn't make any response or if that ballpen was mine because I left it on the table behind him). When no one responded he got pissed and just turn his back at us. 😣 Sorry not today 10 percent.
Lastly, I burst out again this week (I hate having a weak heart). I cried inside the comfort room because I can't hold it any longer. I felt like a dead battery but the good thing is my co-workers. They are really supporting. I really felt that. My team lead said I should take a break. Kuya Rocky, Joshua, Princess, Ate Ange and Ate Harriette comforted me. I even sense Ate Baby's care, too.
One thing I'm lucky about in work? My co-workers. I'm glad I met such good people.
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October 06, 2022
Diary Entry #12
Summary of the Fourth Week
Okay, so hi! It's been a while since I posted an entry here. I know it's kinda late but as they say, it's better late than never. Sum up for my whole fourth week.
Monday, I was excited to go to work since it was pay day. Finally all of my hard work for the first 15 days will be paid of. It was also the first time for me to do all the things that Ate Rea were doing. I wasn't able to do it since the first time I did a solo in work because I have Kuya Kim to help me. This time l have Ate Rea with me.
Aside from that I am also excited to see him again. Just like always... My heart flutters when our eyes met. It was like the tiredness I felt that day washed away. I admitted that I miss him.
Tuesday, I was excited to go to work because I knew I'm gonna see him again. Actually, our eyes met immediately when I went through the door. Then a terrible problem came to me. I forgot to ask a single PO from the CSR. I really felt bad for half a day. I was called by the Team leader of the night shift. It was a big lesson learned. Not just I cause inconvenience but also I looked like a fool in front of his eyes.
The feeling came back when the night shifts go to work. I can't look straight in the eyes of our team leads so all I do for the whole meeting is look on the ground. I can't even look at him so after meeting I went straight out. Yet, everything changes when our eyes met when he went out whole I was waiting for the shuttle. His smiles makes me forget the trouble inside my heart.
Wednesday, morning and I still feel bad that I cried. I can't forget that I again caused trouble to others but then... everything changes because of him. As if he could read what was on my mind, he came to me. Talked about some stuffs and made my heart felt lighter. He told me that it was okay. Taking away the burden inside and for the first time that day, I smiled. For the first time since I started I feel burned out. How to cure it?
Thursday to friday, something has change. I knew it and that didn't except him.
Saturday, we committed a mistake again. Well... it's not my whole fault but I have a little percentage fault. We didn't attached the pull out letter that we supposed to give to the trucker. I thought Ate Ange will do it since she was the one who talked with the load planner. Nonetheless, it's all in the past now. Let's just learn from it.
Whooo! Kaya mo 'yan, self. H'wag kang susuko.
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September 26, 2022
Diary Entry #11
Summary of the third week.
One word. Rollercoaster. There's a lot of ups and downs happened this week particularly in the emotion department. After the second week, I developed a dangerous feelings towards someone at work. Funny right? It was the first time I felt since I left my comfort zone and try to mingle with other people and it felt good to feel it again (just like a teenager).
My heart flutters whenever he is around. Same thing when our eyes met. It was kinda hard to hide it though because I always... I repeat always subconsciously smile when those happened. I also subconsciously held my breath whenever he was near (like 10 or 15 inches away) which is a bad thing, I guess.
Our Team Lead noticed that one time, when they used my computer. He was on my left and our TL was on my right. Our team lead said that “Puwede kang huminga” (You're allowed to breathe). It was embarrassing because he laughed a little. 😣
I really wanted him to notice and compliment me so I really tried my best in doing my work. On the contrary, I sulked like a child when he didn't. Like 101 percent in sulking mode and that will last for the whole day. (Childish right?). I want to know what he thinks of me and I wanted it to be good.
Well, it's just a normal feeling to admire someone since it was part of human emotions. Yet, it was dangerous because he is already committed to someone and I think he really loves her so much.
Due to that, I always tried to convince myself to forget and to buried this feelings that I felt and I reprimanded myself countless of times whenever I forgot it. I even avoided him for I think three or four days even though he tried to talked to me couple of times. I kinda felt bad for him for that so the next day I tried to communicate and mingle with him since this week will be the last that we will have the same shift. (I just hope he never read this.)
Aside from the roller coaster feeling, I also felt ups and downs in my work. I didn't want to cause any trouble and inconvenience to my coworkers so I felt frustrated in doing my work. Instead of confidence, I get paranoid with what I'm doing and that make me to have a small progress which also made me felt bad. I also felt that I don't belong with the group so it added to the equation. I also kinda felt like an outcast.
Lastly, this week is a bit sad, too. One of us passed a resignation letter. He is having a new journey and I really felt happy for him but I just can't help but to feel sad because even though we barely know each other, we still got close (a little). Kuya Jl is good to me and I treated him as one of my friends, too.
I'll end here. 'Til then. Waaaah!!! What a tiring week!
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September 18, 2022
Diary Entry #10
Summary of my almost two weeks of work
So, hi there! It's been a while since my last entry. Since I don't have any updates within the past few days, here is the recap or the summary of my two weeks.
Monday of the first week, I was move from POD-in-Charge to Releaser-in-Charge. At first, I felt that I was dumped like no one like to be together with me. Then I met Ate Rea and Ate Ange, they taught me everything I mostly need to know. Plus they were kind and very approachable so I kinda adjusted well into another process. It was fun and easy than in POD (well at least it's what they say). The first week I was very exhausted. I encounter a lot of people etc. Being a counter made my eyes wider to reality. It made me to understand things that I neglected in the past. A long time ago, I used to get easily mad if the counter was so slow in processing their works. I was one of those people who easily let go of and said worst things to them and now that I was on their shoe, I understand them.
Everything should be in a proper process. Especially, if involves documents that has the same value as money. Everything should be double checked. If not, others will be at risk, their job.
Then the second week came. The second week was... I think the hard week for me. Not just because I am on solo mode since Ate Rea and Ate Ange change into night shift but also I felt awkward with other people. As much as possible I don't want to felt like I was a burden so I really did my best to cope up with them. I think I go overboard myself because my immune had dropped. Nonetheless, I think everything went well... That's what I thought.
Then Saturday came. How would I described it? I felt a lot of stress and anxiety because of a single thing that I forgot to checked. Due to that I caused inconvenience to a lot of people. To the trucker, to Ate Ange, to Kuya Kim, to Ate Rea, to the management. It's a big haaaaay!!!!
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September 06, 2022
Diary Entry #9
I want to find someone like my father.
I want to find someone like my father. That's what I said to myself when I was just a little child. When I was a child I dreamed of finding a man with similar qualities with my father. A kind and a righteous man.
As a papa's girl I always admire him and always listened to what he say. He always made me to see the other side of the story and to understand both sides. He taught me of many good things that I should know in life and I witnessed how much he loves my mother when things gone wrong with their relationship.
Yet, everything changes as I grew. My perspectives change as reality made my eyes wide open. I don't want to find someone like my father. I don't want to be wed with someone who always thinks of what would other would say rather than thinking what I will feel. I don't want a partner with a weak personality and full of empty promises.
Yes, I would say my father is a weak man. If
before I would argue with someone who will say or blame my father if his relationship with my mother almost shattered. Now, I could tell that all those things that they told me was right.
I'm not mad at my father because of his shortcomings. I guess... I'm just tired of listening to those empty words he will say.
Sincerely,
Jhaslyne Dane
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