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PSA: You don’t need to apologize for being inactive.
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;;Last I'll say about this; I realize that, given some book that's come out, my interpretation of Salazar isn't 100% 'canon'. Let me be honest: I'm not a fan of the pirates canon and I don't hold it up as some holy text. I disregarded it back when I wrote Norrington and I will do the same here. My Salazar is what I make of him and I choose to make him layered and morally contoured because I find that more interesting to write than just 'he's always been 100% an evil selfish douche bag all the way'. Don't get me wrong, I DO love writing genuinely selfish assholes, even Snidley Whiplash type villains that are just out to fuck things up for the sake of doing it, but my Salazar does not fall into that category and never will. He's more tragic/cautionary tale than he is a villain, in my mind, someone whose good intentions got twisted and mangled in the brambles of his pride and turned him into a monster. His merciless slaughtering of pirates comes from not only losing his father and grandfather to them, but from having experienced the Barbary pirate raids in Valencia, wherein people were taken captive as slaves, raped, killed, etc. One may not agree with his methods, one may argue that not all pirates should be implicated in something awful that not all pirates did and that's valid (something I would even personally agree with) but it's important to understand where my Salazar is coming from. I'm frankly tired of having to defend him so this is the last I'm going to say about it. This is my spin on the character and I think I'm going to start avoiding content that tries to argue otherwise because (and to no one's fault) it frustrates me.
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My First Salazar Edit!
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;;I mean the truth about Salazar is that he's an underdeveloped character in terms of what the canon presents- and ultimately he's meant to be a villainin Pirates canon because he's the lawful figure that goes against the pirate mentality; "take what you can, give nothing back". We do know that even before the curse he's likely driven by some sense of revenge, having lost both his father and grandfather to pirates (I'm going by movie canon here, that's from which I base most of my headcanons) but he also mentions pirates 'infecting' the seas, which gives a sense of a lawman trying to clean up and run out criminals that threaten the livelihoods of honest people. In a different source material that would be the character of protagonist but the Pirates franchise is very much in favor of the chaotic/true neutral alignments and a character may only redeem himself from his sinfully lawful ways IF he makes a choice that deviates from the lawful alignment IN THE FAVOR OF Jack or one of the main characters.
But I digress.
Salazar does indeed curse himself when he lets his own arrogance take hold. It's not enough for him that he's taken down so many criminal pirate rings, there is ONE BOY that dares to insult him and his power. That's how he describes it- challenging his power. While I write Salazar as a man who works in the interest of the greater good I think there IS a sliver of darkness, a selfishness in him that gets stronger the more successful he is and in this moment he forgets what he's been working toward- not to be powerful, perse, but to do what he must for the greater interest of humanity, to protect people from the sort of pirates back then that would pillage, rape, steal, etc. His arrogance propels him to go after Jack and, of course, his own demise. That mistake, that arrogance grows in his cursing until its all he can feel or think. He becomes impotent rage and ego personified and all the goodness he had is drained of him (sort of, as some of you know, I play it as still there just...muted. Very much).
So, anyway. I don't play him as a perfect human being, but I do write him as someone who has honorable motivations that get tangled up with his pettiness, ego and deep hunger for vengence. I write Salazar as a good man at heart, but one with many flaws and failings. He's in some, perhaps many ways a Salieri to Jack's Amadeus...but he is not, in my opinion, an irredeemable monster. I do not write him that way even when he's cursed.
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;;do you ever see headcanons or gifsets that display your muse in an unfair light and you’re just like
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Dead Mermen Tell No Tales
I was gonna go with a shark them considering his little “pets” but honestly he’s just so…
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Eel-Like.
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Sheets ;)
a sexual fantasy my muse has about your muse
Armando tries, as ever, to keep his wordly desires (and those of the flesh) at bay. Not only is he a soldier and servant of Spain first and foremost, but he considers himself a loyal child of God as well and knows the expectations set for him. Impure thoughts about a woman he hasn’t married are bad enough, but the fact that she is a pirate makes the stirrings of desire all the more blasphemous. He should hate her, he should have absolutely no hesitation in sending her to trial in Cádiz, but he does despite it all. And what’s worse than this unprecedented clemency is that he imagines her coming to him in the night, quickly and soundless like a cat, because if the crew heard! If they knew! He can feel the burning hot roll of her hips against his own and the phantom sensation of his hands grasping for her flesh, desperate. He all but smothers her in nectarous kisses and harsh caresses and they practically devour each other in his sheets as makes desperate love to her in something that dances on the border between hate and lust and something deeper besides that he doesn’t dare acknowledge. He aches for her and he hates that he does. 
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✿ ———— beauty and the beast sentence starters.
’ How can you read this? There’s no pictures! ’ ’ Well, some people use their imagination… ’ ’ This is the day your dreams come true. ’ ’ I’m-I’m speechless. I really don’t know what to say. ’ ’ Say you’ll marry me! ’ ’ I just don’t deserve you! ’ ’ I want to do something for him/her… but what? ’ ’ No, no! It’s got to be more something more special than that! ’ ’ This is yet another example of the late neoclassic Baroque period. ’ ’ If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster. ’ ’ I thought I told you to come down to dinner! ’ ’ I’m not hungry! ’ ’ You’ll come out, or I’ll-I’ll-I’ll break down the door! ’ ’ Will you come down to dinner? ’ ’ It would give me great pleasure… ’ ’ We say please. ’ ’ You can’t stay in there forever! ’ ’ Fine! Then go ahead and starve! ’ ’ Oh dear. That didn’t go very well at all, did it? ’ ’ If she/he doesn’t eat with me, then she/he doesn’t eat at all! ’ ’ Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ’ ’ It was you, wasn’t it? ’ ’ Oh, you look so… so… ’ ’ Not quite the word I was looking for, but perhaps a - little more off the top. ’ ’ Maybe some other time… ’ ’ _______, you are positively primeval! ’ ’ Why did you come here? ’ ’ Do you realize what you could have done? ’ ’ I didn’t mean any harm. ’ ’ Please… stop… ’ ’ Who’s there? Who are you? ’ ’ I’ve come for my father. Please, let him out! Can’t you see, he’s sick? ’ ’ Please, I’ll do anything! ’ ’ Oh, there must be some way I can… ’ ’ Then he/she shouldn’t have trespassed here! ’ ’ The master of this castle… ’ ’ Wait! Take me instead. ’ ’ You don’t know what you’re doing! ’ ’ Yes. But… you must promise to stay here forever! ’ ’ Come into the light… ’ ’ You have my word… ’ ’ For who could ever learn to love a beast? ’ ’ Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ’ ’ That’s not a request! ’ ’ I’ve been burnt by you before! ’ ’ I’m afraid I’ve been thinking… ’ ’ If you’d hold still, it wouldn’t hurt as much! ’ ’ Well, if you hadn’t have run away, this wouldn’t have happened! ’ ’ If you hadn’t frightened me, I wouldn’t have run away! ’ ’ Well you shouldn’t have been in the west wing! ’ ’ Well, you should learn to control your temper! ’ ’ Now, hold still. This might sting a little. ’ ’ By the way, thank you… for saving my life. ’ ’ Couldn’t keep quiet, could we? ’ ’ Just had to invite him/her to stay, didn’t we? ’ ’ I was trying to be hospitable. ’ ’ I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. ’ ’ I want so much more than they’ve got planned… ’ ’ Well, Your Highness, I must say everything is going just swimmingly. ’ ’ I knew you had it in you, ha ha! ’ ’ You what? How could you do that? ’ ’ I use antlers in all of my decorating! ’ ’ I-I-I was lost in the woods, and-and… ’ ’ Please, I meant no harm. I-I just need a place to stay. ’ ’ What’re you staring at? ’ ’ I’ll give you a place to stay. ’ ’ No, no! Please! Don’t, no! ’ ’ I’d like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. ’ ’ Sir, close that at once! Do you mind? ’ ’ It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. ’ ’ Oh, must help her/him to see past all that. ’ ’ Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. ’ ’ Oh, it’s no use. ’ ’ I don’t know how. ’ ’ Come, come, show me the smile. ’ ’ There’s a stranger here! ’ ’ Pardon me, Master… ’ ’ Leave me in peace. ’ ’ It doesn’t matter now. Just let them come. ’ ’ I’ll show you to your room. ’ ’ Do you wanna stay in the tower? ’ ’ You must control your temper! ’ ’ Of course I came back. I couldn’t let them… oh, this is all my fault! ’ ’ You… you came back. ’ ’ If only I had gotten here sooner. ’ ’ Maybe… maybe… it’s better… it’s better this way. ’ ’ Don’t talk like that! You’ll be alright. ’ ’ We’re together now; everything’s going to be fine, you’ll see… ’ ’ And at least… at least I got to see you… one last time. ’ ’ Please. Please… Please don’t leave me. ’ ’ Well, perhaps there’s something there that wasn’t there before. ’ ’ There may be something there that wasn’t there before. ’ ’ Shh. I’ll tell you when you’re older. ’ ’ I’ll not have you making up such wild stories. ’ ’ Let me go! Let me go, please! Don’t hurt me! I’ll do anything! Anything! ’ ’ I’m… I’m about ready to give up on this hunk of junk. ’ ’ This castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing. ’ ’ I mean it this time! I’ll never get this boneheaded contraption to work! ’ ’ Well, what are we waiting for? ’ ’ I’ll have this thing fixed in no time! ’ ’ You really believe that? ’ ’ Be our guest. ’ ’ Is it dangerous? ’ ’ Oh no, he’d/she’d never hurt anyone. ’ ’ Hmmm. Could you read it again? ’ ’ Why don’t you read it to me? ’ ’ You mean, you never learned? ’ ’ I learned… a little. It’s just been… so long. ’ ’ Well, here, I’ll help you. ’ ’ What would you say if you and I took a walk over to the tavern and took a look at my trophies? ’
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“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”
William Shakespeare
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            That which does not kill me… 
                                WILL NOT  GET  A  SECOND  CHANCE.
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When ooc headcanons for your favorite characters are popular
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;;yall I found Dead Men Tell No Tales fabric at the fabric store yesterday, I kid you not. It had Henry, Carina and Jack on it but no Salazar so obviously I put that shit back in the clearance section where I found it.
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Ask my character sex questions: The English Kings and Queens Edition
This is in no way intended to insult the English Kings and Queens. For that, we have Horrible Histories.
WILLIAM I (The Conqueror, or Bastard) - How likely is your character to have sex outside of marriage?
WILLIAM II (Rufus) - Does your character have a sadistic streak?
HENRY I - If your character’s partner was to suggest dressing up like a sexy tiger and a sexy antelope, how would your character react?
STEPHEN - Would your character enjoy getting roughed up in a sexual scenario?
HENRY II - Is your character a dom? Would they dom several subs at once?
RICHARD I (The Lionheart) - How likely is your character to cheat?
JOHN - Is your character into the humiliation kink?
HENRY III - Would your character have sex in a church ?
EDWARD I - Would your character engage in raceplay?
EDWARD II - Is your character’s sex drive so strong it makes them make unwise decisions?
EDWARD III - Does your character whine for sex if they haven’t had any for a while?
RICHARD II - Is your character sexually jealous?
HENRY IV - Did your character ever regret taking a dominant role in a sexual situation?
HENRY V - Does your character have a chastity kink?
HENRY VI - Rose petals on the bed or thorns at the end of your whip?
EDWARD IV - Bros before hos? (Or a nongendered equivalent.)
EDWARD V - Does your character enjoy bondage?
RICHARD III - Does your character thrive on a bad reputation?
HENRY VII - Is your character a sexual innovator?
HENRY VIII - Does your character enjoy having several partners at once?
EDWARD VI - Mommy kink?
MARY I (Bloody Mary) - Nun kink?
ELIZABETH I - Would your character have sex in front of a mirror?
JAMES I - Would your character ever dress up in historical costumes for sexytimes?
CHARLES I - Does your chatacter like giving head?
CHARLES II - Would you play with matches or heat in a sexual scenario?
JAMES II - Priest kink?
WILLIAM III and MARY II - Does your character and their partner like to hunt for casual thirds for threesomes?
ANNE - How persistently does your character pursue a potential lover?
GEORGE I - Does your character enjoy sex holidays?
GEORGE II - Is your character a forgettable partner?
GEORGE III - Does your character like silliness in bed?
GEORGE IV - How important is it to your character that their partner is well washed and clean? Or do they like a bit of grit?
WILLIAM IV - Watersports? Maybe?
VICTORIA - Does your character like strong women, or being a dominant female?
EDWARD VII - Does your character aestheticize sex? That can mean anything you want it to.
GEORGE V - Vanilla kink?
EDWARD VIII - Is your character prepared to be out and proud about their kinks and partner choices?
GEORGE VI - Does your character like pushing their boundaries in bed?
ELIZABETH II - Freebie - ask anything you like.
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