little-cottongrass - Tumblr blog

little-cottongrass · 4 years

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I absolutely dread getting presents. Knowing that people are spending money and time on me behind my back, that they're making decisions for me about what things I'm going to have in my life, makes my stomach knot up in panic and I want to cry. It feels so... controlling?

Like "you owe us for this now, even though you didn't ask for it". Like "we get to tell you what you're meant to like". Like "we're going to force you to face the fact, yet again, that we don't understand you or listen to you at all". Presents are literally so triggering for me and I've tried to explain this but people still. Keep. Doing it.

#cottongrass thoughts #please stop #I guess I can't handle it because I'm poor too #like... wasted money is the worst thing #so I hate seeing people spend money on things for me that I don't want #it feels like my fault they can't afford something else now #and then I have to buy them something too #and worry about if it's expensive enough to satisfy them #and if I guessed right #and I hate guessing games as well

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little-cottongrass · 4 years

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Lejin Malachit, Switzerland

#cottongrass feels #my kindred!#peaceful

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little-cottongrass · 5 years

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"You should never have been here, and we have come to take you home."

Tell me, what have you never been told, but would adore hearing?

I’ll begin;

“You have done well.”

#cottongrass feels #wrong species wrong planet wrong everything

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little-cottongrass · 6 years

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Never trust something that’s been bleeding for twenty years and isn’t dead yet.

#cottongrass thoughts #I fucking ought to be

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little-cottongrass · 6 years

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I want to give up. Just lie down and let the earth wrap me up in its arms. By this time next year there'd be nothing but grass and wildflowers and briars growing through the place where I melted away.

Why do people act like that would be such a bad thing?

#cottongrass feels #sad but not sad #what do I tag this?

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little-cottongrass · 7 years

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I don't want this any more. I just want to wake up in the mornings feeling safe.

#cottongrass diary #please make it stop

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little-cottongrass · 7 years

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I didn't have the guts to tell you when I stopped loving you and you haven't noticed that now I hate you. And I still daren't tell you.

#cottongrass thoughts #bad day #I'm not sure if I'm a monster for pretending I still care or a saint for doing it so convincingly #I just want you out of my life #but I know you don't want to go and I'm too scared to make you #sigh