jason todd Ă male/masc reader. | soft.
SUMMARY: a simple fic about jason being unable to fall asleep while in his boyfriend's arms.
WARNINGs: physical contact, && self depreciation on jason's end.
WORD COUNT: 1200+
NOTEs: third person && no plot. chronic pain jason mention. [man, boyfriend && lover, and he/him pronouns used to refer to the insert/reader.]
Bodies are a tool; if your own can't be exploited for your goals, it needs to be purged of everything that's holding it back until all that's left is a blade ready to cut out whatever else gets in the way next.
Anything else, and you're done for. They haven't been anything else to Jason for a long time.
He hasn't thought about that for awhile, through.
No matter how broken it is, he isn't going to waste the years he's spent molding his own back into something he can actually use for nothing. His aim is decent, enough so that he can trust his won't be as easily torn apart as before.
That he can dig his fists until it feels like bone grinding against flesh into anyone who thinks about it.
Since the pit, it's only ever worked against him.
There was a constant ache where ripped skin, long since healed into jagged muscle, would build up to a searing pain just to settle and repeat. The worst of it was over the entirety of his back, running along until his hips. He got used to it, though. He had to.
It's never been enough to knock him out, and instead it's been a constant reminder to stay on edge, forcing him to work off as little as a few hours of rest when days worth were better suited.
It's never gotten better. He doesn't know how it's been so long, and it's still just as painful.
Meds help, but his boyfriend has been trying to find more solutions to dull, distract it, anything.
It's been months, and it's still weird to call him that. Wherever that's been coming from, it's been more worth while to take the good with the bad, even if there's a chance he might never get used to it. Jason loves him too much not to try.
A couple years have wasted away since the initial meeting.
It's nauseating to think about how days went by, mostly spent in the dark of them and around those who's jaws he'd rather blow off than listen to yap, and he doesn't have much to show for it beyond a relationship that could end, ripped away at worst, at any time.
But it's been worth the risk. The days spent wondering if there's anything for him beyond being a reverant dealing out violence for the sake of ridding streets of filth. That he can actually live.
It's been around a week since he's stayed the night, since he's slept a full night, but at the rate he's at, it's going to take a while longer.
A call was all he needed to be convinced, and he tried not to make himself sound stupid whenever his voice dipped into a quieter tone as that conversation went on. He agreed to everything, not a single push back just so he could listen to him longer.
There was a pile of blankets stacked up on a bed he was brought into, not even that far into the night. Some he recognized were once stored away in the apartment.
It was definitely another attempt to get him to sleep better; he knew that. And he made sure to voice his appreciation later in the night between another pair of lips.
Complaints started being thrown around as soon as he began to get dizzy while underneath the heavy fabrics, not even an hour into the night.
He was really only doing it to mess with his boyfriend, voice low in the other man's ear, to keep him up and reap whatever reaction he could draw out from that. It wasn't unbearable, but no protest came when a couple were pushed aside in favor of being pressed better against each other.
Warmth is far from settling back into Gotham. He almost slid back into concrete while on the back.
But he'd rather deal with the cold itself, flooding in through the unfinished seals in the windows, than where he's stuck now. Take every blanket and push them over to the other man so he can breathe. It's hard enough already to keep it at a steady pace with his chest so close to his own.
Instead, one of his arms is in the same position as hours earlier, stuck underneath, wrapped around the back of the man in front of him, his fingers still tracing the spine.
Whatever time it is, his eyes are sore enough that he'd rather rip the lids off than continue to get irritated with every blink. He's been waiting however long, and with every attempt, he's woken back up to absolute darkness.
The sun doesn't seem to be getting any closer. So he waits.
His entire face is tense, most of all around the frown carried over from hours before, when he pretended to be asleep to urge the other man on. He doesn't need someone to dote on him all night.
Often he finds himself blank; every thought that could be a blur that comes with any silence he's left alone in. He wouldn't know how long he'd be staring before every little thing would become overwhelming again.
It would come in to rip him from even peaceful moments, pushing back fond memories in favor of nothing but the shame he'd be left with afterwards.
It'd fogged over whispers like earlier in the night, where they were lying beside each other as his boyfriend rambled on about whatever he was talking about, somewhere along the way, his head resting against Jason's shoulder.
Jason wouldn't say anything about the spacing out for a long time. As soon as question after question came in after brushing it off for all that time, he gave in.
He doesn't know why. Maybe he's just grown soft that the idea of actually working things out together seems plausible despite everything.
It's confusing enough that the other man stayed. Why would anyone be willing to deal with that? With him?
He doesn't want to mess up one of the few good things he has going for him; he can't afford to dump more of his problems onto him, but they're obvious. His love is going to realize he isn't worth the pain, and he's going to be alone again.
It's going to happen one day; it's inevitable. He just wants it to last for as long as it can in the meantime.
It doesn't feel natural to him to be alone in someone's presence without blood dripping between the spaces in his fingers.
Despite who it is and how he might as well have shown every wound to even equate to what he's opened up about, it'll never solely be comforting. Jason was never meant for softer things in life; he knows this.
But that doesn't mean anything in the end; he isn't meant to be breathing at all. He's tired of only getting what he deserves. Why should the scum of the earth be allowed to enjoy what little life they have while he's stuck cleaning up their corpses afterwards?
So instead of spending another night out in a city where the most he'll be rewarded with is a couple more scars, he pushes further into the other man's arms. He takes the arm not currently being squished under the other's weight and trails a hand up from his arm until he's tracing his boyfriend's jaw.
Jason stays where he is, barely allowing himself to breathe.
And then he takes what little space they have to press his lips against his, his thumb trailing under the other man's bottom lip. One of the few things he'll eagerly embrace, despite the shaky breaths taken in through his chapped lips each time.
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good afternoon, day five of the strike for palestine! here are some action items for you to help palestinians
donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, the fund goal is 80% raised as of today
2. donations for the Pious Project, to help get menstrual products into Gaza. you can donate $5, $20, or bigger amounts depending on ability
3. download the Nomad app -> Menu -> Shop Plans -> Data -> Select "Middle East" (or if there is no option for that, choose "Global") -> enter data amount and pay (plans range from $4-$60, >20GB plans preferred!) -> do not activate eSIM! screenshot the QR code in the confirmation email -> email
[email protected] with the subject title "[CARRIER] eSIM" and attach the QR code screenshot
4. download the Holafly app -> search for "Israel" in the search bar -> select data package -> Checkout -> Pay -> do not activate eSIM. wait for confirmation email -> email
[email protected] with the subject title "[CARRIER] eSIM" and attach the QR code screenshot
Infographics souce for 3 and 4
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I wonât lie but Iâm so sick of liberals on here saying you shouldnât trust Al Jazeera as a source on Palestine when there are better ones. Iâm sorry but Al Jazeera IS one of the better ones. Itâs a well established fact that Al Jazeera can have awful, biased reporting when it comes to other issues or other countries, but on Palestine itâs great. Al Jazeera is one of the only news / media platforms that amplifies Palestinians. All its reporters are not only based in but are actually from where theyâre reporting. Not to mention, it has multiple reporters on the ground in various parts of Palestine - in Gaza, in the West Bank, and in â48 (Israel). Al Jazeera does actually report what other news outlet say when it comes to Palestine too, it doesnât obfuscate it like certain western media outlets.
Speaking of western media outlets, itâd be hypocritical to say donât trust Al Jazeera when you probably get your reporting on Palestine from the New York Times or CNN amongst others. Those supposedly âindependentâ media companies which tow the US government line on Palestine and donât question anything. So much of the reality on Palestine gets obfuscated by these outlets that they only report on things whenever israel is directly attacked. Al Jazeera on the other hand will report on daily occurrences in Palestine, not to mention publish analytical articles that analyse the occupation very closely.
Again, you may disagree with Al Jazeeraâs positioning of things as well as questioning their motives (or Qatari gov to be more specific) etc and thatâs fine! But to say theyâre not the best source on Palestine when theyâre one of the only ones amplifying Palestinian voices at a time when media reporting on israel from other outlets is absolutely dismal is ludicrous lol. As I said, I recognise AJ can have biased reporting on other issues, but just because an outlet has biased reporting on X issue, it doesnât really cancel out the great reporting they may do on Y issue. Iâm also aware that there are many other outlets who do great reporting on Palestine but AJ seems to have a decent sized audience in the English speaking world alongside its notably big audience in the Arabic speaking one.
It should also not be forgotten that Al Jazeera reporters Shireen Abu Akleh and Hamza Al Dahdouh were assassinated by israel while Hamzaâs father Wael who is head of the AJ bureau in Gaza had his wife, grandson, and 3 of his children (including Hamza) killed by Israel due to their reporting, which means it counts for something.
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