kapitanamaria
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25 |aquarius| PHIL. 4:13 Second Blog: hugotnimaria
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How far i’ll go?
It was just a few years back when I was praying for someone to finally be with me, and thank God it has been answered, all of the things happened before pursuing that man, I prayed it all, we’ve been together for a year now, and people don’t lie when they say you’ll eventually know the person the longer you be with them, the more you co-habit with them… while these were true, I remained patient and understanding, I understand that these are part of the adjustment and they too shall pass, but the more we dig deeper the more I heat the bedrock, i’m running out of patience and i’m loosing my faith. I hate that the phrase “how far i’ll go” struck me, I hate that somewhere in my mind marks a finish line between us, I’m just afraid a time will come where i’ll breakdown and really put an end on us. I pray and will continuously pray to the Lord to put me on track; on the right path he paved for me, on the right person he gave me. I pray for His provision of guidance if i’m still doing it right or i’m already lost. My heart’s breaking now i’m composing this. I also pray for healing and peace of mind. In Jesus name. Amen.
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Living the life of a 25 year old.
when i was still studying at college, told myself to be settled at the age of 25, will already have a stable Job, get married and have a beautiful, loving and God fearing family. But I guess, it’s just nice dreaming good things while being at it...
Now i’m already 25, unsettled, had a job but receiving minimum wage, no boyfriend actually since birth 😅
And yes, being at my dream age right now is really confusing and discouraging... i mean, wth? What’s taking you so long??? What happened with your dreams? What are you doing the past years???
But mind you... the past years was very productive to me.. 2017, I was 22 y/o back then, we just graduated from college, 2017-2019, we had our 2-year apprenticeship and review for our coming board exams, (yes, I was preoccupied with work & studies that lovelife can’t steal a scene) 2019 was our greatest milestone that we passed our board exams, yes! I’m an Architect already at the age of 24. 2020, now i’m 25, hoping this will be the season of my lovelife & stable job, but pandemic went in of the story and ruined my goals and everything.
Now i’m 25, unemployed, penny less, problematic and still single. Not just like the goal i’m aiming.
See this? Not all you want to achieve will be achieved exactly just because you believe you can and that you did your best, but it’s still good doing your best, it’s just, there are things you don’t expect that’ll ruin your timeline, your season and everything.
Being on these events made me realize one thing, it’s to simply trust God, surrender him my life, He have plans for me, he knows everything I don’t know about, he probably knew this pandemic will come maybe that’s the reason why I can’t really feel that 25 y/o isn’t my season to get settled. Also, 25 years old is just a quarter, I could still do so much more than being settled. Also, I was studying and studying during my 24 years, I can’t get settled in just one year. I still have more to learn.
I maybe far from my goals but look at me now, 25 y/o, unemployed yet will be having work this coming week, and can still come back on my previous work and still be happy. penny less but soon will have money because I already have work 🙏🏻, problematic yet will resolve everything by the grace of God and still single but still believes for my season to come soon, for now, I’ll just enjoy my singleness and enjoy more about learning new things and will mostly enjoy in my life.
Actually, I think I already aimed one of my goals about settlement, and that is Settling my Faith to God 🙏🏻♥️
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In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you. Some will use you. Some will love you and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it.
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Yes please
papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka papasa ka
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Hey.
Hey you! The one who broke my heart, the one who tried to show me how love feels amazing but failed. Salamat ha? Salamat sa pagpamulat saakin ng realidad sa buhay, na sa mundong ito, wala na talagang matino. Salamat kasi ipina-realize mo saakin na dapat sarili lang talaga ang pinagkakatiwalaan. Salamat kasi mas naging mailap na ako ngayon. Salamat kasi mas magiging maingat na ako ngayon. Salamat kasi mas pinakapal mo pa yung layers nung pader ko na handa ko na sanang burakin para sayo. Salamat kasi may pinadama ka saaking sakit na ngayon ko lang naramdaman.
Not being sarcastic here, i'm truly thankful with these mistakes kasi you made me realize better things. You made me stronger and safer. You broke my heart but hey, that's life, kahit hindi ako, may dudurog din ng puso mo, then marerealize mo din mga dapat mong ma-realize.
lastly, Thankyou for putting me on the right path. Siguro nga, dumating ka lang sa buhay ko para pakiligin yung inaamag kong puso, pero di mo ako minahal, but that's okay. Again, that's life. Thanks for letting me know na hindi ikaw yung nakatadhana saakin or we might suffer more in the future. Godbless you and may you find your real path to that someone.
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love less
seasons of love.
ilang beses ba na papaligiran ka ng mga taong may mga lovelife tapos ikaw wala?
twice nang nangyari saakin to, sila may mga partner, kilig na kilig. ako kamusta? sa totoo lang, sawang sawa na ako sa sarili ko na everyday nalang nagra-rant na “kailan ba?”, “asan na?”, “eh di ako na ang forever alone” hanggang sa nadagdagan na rin ng “jowable naman ako!” sa totoo lang, ilang years na akong uhaw. you can’t blame me, I’m so curious af! I mean, hindi man lang ba ako mapagbigyan sa mga ganito? haha!
impatient may sound as it be, pero impatient talaga ako. I can’t bear being love sick.
nagugulat na nga rin ako sa sarili ko na everytime na matsatsambahan ko yung 11:11 eh hihiling na din ako ng lovelife eh. lol! pathetic na kung pathetic. kasalanan din ng fate. huhu.
just please..
can’t I have?
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one day...
One day, she stopped giving love advices, because she realized that she really have no idea of what’s really happening and she don’t know what it feels to be in that situation.
Or maybe she stopped, because she already knew how does it feels that she herself was also clueless of what to do.
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Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.
Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love (via books-n-quotes)
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In or Out?
It takes time to develop in terms of love. So I'm going for that thought na "love at first sight" is just a feeling of infatuation.
Meaning.. looks might appeal but attitude hooks. Kaya walang silbi iyang kagandahan at ka-sexyhan/ kagwapuhan at ka-machohan mo kung pangit naman ugali mo. People change. You change while you have the chance.
Pero..
Pero.
True love is also about acceptance.
Kung mahal ka nga naman talaga kahit gaano kapangit ugali mo, lucky you. That's just unbeatable. ;)
See, love comes in different aspects. Akala natin alam na natin lahat but we still have a lot to learn.
Advice: if love comes your way, never judge. Never let the mind take over, observe. Enjoy. Go with the flow. Kung nasaktan ka, let it be. Worth the risk naman kasi in every mistake there's a lesson :)
So are you In? Or Out?
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Para kanino ka bumabangon?
Tag-ulan, tag-lamig. Basta december, namumuro talaga ang katamaran. Para kanino ba ako bumabangon?
Sa ganitong panahon, parang niyayakap ka talaga ng higaan mo, parang ang ganda matulog buong maghapon. Pero kailangan mong bumangon, kailangan mong kumayod, kailangan mong maging productive, Kasi kung maghapon kang magpapa-yakap sa higaan mo, walang mangyayari.
So para kanino nga ba ako bumabangon? Para sa bayan? Para sa pamilya? O para sa sarili? Ikaw? Para kanino ka bumabangon?
Ang dami kong sinasabi. Pero.. ito na! Babangon na.
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*Heaved a sigh*
Super deep breath *siiiiggghhhhhhh* I will be. I will be fine.
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I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
(via books-n-quotes)
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