jlemonn-blog

[jlemonn-blog]

There is a nail Holding up the slope The bright tatter of twisting wind blows and anyone who understands The whole road is naked the pavement the sidewalks the distance the railings are white Not a drop of rain Not a leaf of a tree Not the shadow of a garment I wait the station is a long...

[jlemonn-blog]

Classic. 😊

I do not love you except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you, From waiting to not waiting for you My heart moves from cold to fire. I love you only because it’s you the one I love; I hate you deeply, and hating you Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you

[jlemonn-blog]

Fin

Giving up already, Like driftwood Lying on the shore Heavy and lifeless. Hopes and dreams, They are no more.

#poem #poetry #write #writer #sharingpoetry

[jlemonn-blog]

Guidance Counselor

I helped this old lady cross the street. Suddenly a familiar student comes up to me and asks, "I saw what you did, why do you help people?" I look into her curious, angry eyes and say, "Because I wish someone has helped me."

#shortstory #short #story

[jlemonn-blog]

Wisteria Tunnel. It would be nice to hold someone's hand and go for a walk. Might have to bring Claritin though. lol. 😄

[jlemonn-blog]

[jlemonn-blog]

The Crush (2010) Oscar Winning Short Film

So I've been watching short films on YouTube and i chose my favorite. The Crush is compelling. You get tunnel vision when you watch this. The whole world zones out! So original. Whoever wrote this is amazing.

[jlemonn-blog]

Katie

I wish I could find an older version of you. Ten years is too much of a difference. Our interests wont be the same. You might like that thing called swag. Which i have none of. When I close my eyes and see you smile, hear you sing. It comforts me. That someday you will make someone a very lucky man. In this world full of grey areas you bring color. You made me believe that this world still has something to offer. That this world still has someone who can be beautiful and make your soul breath a breathe of fresh air. I can see myself thirty years from now. Wrinkled, grey hair maybe and I’d be laughing having a good time. Maybe with a family and couple of kids too, who knows? When suddenly I’d think of you. I would wonder how you are. Where in the world you are. If you were happy. I would hope you still would smile the way you did thirty years ago. If you still love to make funny faces with your beautiful lips. If you would slightly stick your tongue out when you get nervous. If you still run your fingers through your hair and tilt your head sideways a bit. If your round tantalizing eyes would still be heart racing to stare into. If you would still love to sing. Then I’d rub it off. Repress you, bury your smile and the memory of you deep within the recesses of my mind where you can find my regrets, broken dreams and lost loves. But thank you, Katie. This is what it feels to love from a distance. If it weren't for you, I would never have experienced this bitter sweet emotion. So, thank you...

#Katie Lor Love Letter

[jlemonn-blog]

Wishful Thinking

Why should I write about my feelings when no one cares?

Who will listen?

Who will look me in the eye and try to understand how damaged my soul is.

And if they do, will they look away?

Or will they smile and say,

"It's ok. I'm damaged too but not in the same way."

[jlemonn-blog]

Here's where I start

First of all, I've never been completely honest. And if you think about it, who has? There is always something we hide from everyone- even ourselves. This is where I can try to be honest about things. Try is the operative word. This will be all about me and whatever matters to me. I'll never reveal my real name nor my whereabouts other than I am of Asian descent. Currently, I am not living in the Asian country I originate from.

A brief background. I'm in my mid 20s and very well off for someone my age. (How crass) I'm male and currently in a relationship. In my relationship with this girl I've been with for more than 3 years there were more happy times than sad ones. As long as my happiness out weighs the bad times, I'm still in. And if the bad times overwhelms my happiness? Not really sure what will happen then. My point in telling you about my relationship is that, like most guys, I have loyalty issues. I know girls find this very unattractive, immature and would might even stop reading this.  Why? I never really went to a shrink to talk about my problems so I try self analysis. More of that next time.

Adrenaline. I want anything that would get my adrenaline shoot through my veins and make me go into overdrive. I've been in a couple of accidents where things just turn out fine. For some reason, my mind and body always gets me out unscratched. I crave for adrenaline to feel alive.

Drugs. Don't panic! It's organic! Only Marijuana. If all the shit I thought of while I was high was made into a movie, Tarantino, Peter Jackson and Tim Burton would have an awesome life. Aside from the most bizarre thoughts, when I'm high as fuck sex is awesome.

I was a dork. I am a nerd. But never a geek.

I read books, obviously. Started out with the Hardy Boys then moved to Sherlock Holmes. That's when my dream of becoming a kick ass intellectual detective started. Then read some classics for school. Kept on reading them even after school. Developed a taste for certain books. And until this day, nothing can ever beat reading a book. None of that Kindle or iPad shit. I mean a real book where you flip pages and you could smell the pages accumulate dust and get brown on the edges. When you carefully open soft bound books so you won't leave those irritating creases at the spine. Spending more time than necessary while doing a #2 because you keep telling yourself, "Ok, last page then I'm going to take a shower."

I like to write things. I was never formally trained with writing so I may have some poems, essays and other stuff here that has no structure or whatever the university professors teach you. I am going to call it a poem or an essay if that's what I was going for.

Aaand art, music and nature. All these three things I appreciate. I don't know how to talk about it but if it's nice, it's just nice.

To top it all off, I rank a 0 on the social life scale. With my line of work, I'm never in one place for long. This caused so many issues. Especially with my relationship. Then comes family nagging me about how I forgot them. Friends who I used to party with and are still in the same town still have awesome weekend parties- which I'm never around to attend. Although I always still get tagged in Facebook status whenever they start inviting people. 

So yeah. This is going to be a blog about that kind of person. A man with no social life. Bear with me if I cross boundaries with the things I write. I haven't really had an actual conversation with another human being if it had nothing to do with business. I hope this won't be too dark. There are some light moments in my life that I feel like writing about too. So I hope you enjoy the lighter parts of this blog and understand the darker ones. 

:)