incorrect-dramioneandfriends

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

POV Draco {reading a letter from Professor McGonagall}: Ah….Scorpius got bullied at school this morning.

Zabini: If we leave right now and take the connecting floo through Edinburgh we can be at Hogwarts by NOON and that punks bed will be in ASHES by 12:30

Nott{Interrupting}: No no no - best thing you can do with bullies is ignore them

STAGNANT PAUSE Malfoy, Zabini look at Nott confused.

Nott: THEN you sneak into their house at 4am, which statistically speaking is the hour people are least prepared to defend themselves.

Zabini: Correct

Nott: and once your standing over them, as they sleep in their bed, you start to beat them. With a thick heavy rope . Soaked in red paint. Pummelling them over and over and over. Until they wake. Confusing the paint for their own blood and when they beg you to stop you laugh. As loud as you can for as long as you can and then … you start to beat them again.

Malfoy takes this advise on board half disturbed half impressed: Hmm…yeah. You know I may just hold off on anything like that until I connect with Astoria and just get the details. See what actually happened.

Nott: Yeah alright. Fair enough.

#incorrect dramione #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #theodore nott #deatheaterdads #canyoutellivebeeneatchingtedlassoandreadingsecretsandmasks?

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

Blaise: Ive seen my mum break up with a lot of guys. She has this weird power to get them to do all the work. One moment they are a mess the next - they’re thanking her for the best year of their lives. The last guy helped us move into Selwyn’s house.

#incorrect dramione #and friends #blaise zabini #sourcemodernfamily

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

Pansy: Ugh there’s nothing Gluten Free

Goyle: How long have you been Diabetic?

Pansy: I’m not diabetic?

Goyle: you can’t eat sugar

Zabini: Gluten Goyle not glucose

#incorrect dramione #and friends #sourcesexeducation #pansy parkinson #blaise zabini #gregory goyle

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

POV: Hermione has persuaded Draco to sell some of his clothes

Hermione (holding up trousers): keep or sell

Draco: Well, those are - errr

Hermione: Keep or sell?

Draco: Sell! Sell them! - got those at a showroom in Paris

Hermione (gesturing to her jeans): I got these on a clearance rack at Primark.

Draco: eight-fifty

Hermione: eight-fifty what?

Draco: hundred

Hermione: GALLEONS?!

Draco: eight hundred and fifty - there’s an elf in Paris that makes these by hand so…

Hermione: …. My car is worth less than your trousers.

Draco: Well- I’ve seen your car and that makes sense to me

#dramione #incorrect dramione #draco malfoy #Hermione #schittscreekquotes

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

Draco: The idea of me coaching another human being should scare you

#incorrect dramione #draco malfoy #sourceschittscreek

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

POV: Hermione is getting her stuff from Ron’s place after they broke up.

Ron: You live with these people Hermione? You know what you can stay here until you find a better place to live.

Draco: You know what I don’t like you Weasley. I don’t like anything about you and I’m not afraid of -

Hermione (interrupting): I got this. I’ve got a place to live Ron. It’s over. I spent six years trying to figure you out. All you are is a guy with really beautiful hair. I’m happy you cheated on me. Thank you, because if you hadn’t I would have married you. And then you would have hurt me all over again. And yeah I was scared what to do. And yeah I’m living with three slytherins. But I love these guys. I barely know them. (Points to Zabini) I just met him but I love them.

Theo: I would take it easy with the love stuff -

Hermione: ALL OF THEM

(Theo, Draco and Blaise all put on S.P.E.W bobble hats)

Zabini: Give her the shirt back man

Ron: and what if I say no?

(Draco steps forward)

Draco: you know what happens? (Slaps Ron) Malfoy happens

Ron: OW what was on your hand?

Draco: THUMB RING BITCH

#incorrect dramione #theodore nott #blaise zabini #draco malfoy

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

Draco: So you know how I broke up with Astoria so I could start dating Hermione again?

Theo: Absolutely and it was really hard for you.

Draco: Well that actually never happened

Theo:

Draco:

Theo: What do you mean?

Draco: I’m still dating Astoria

Theo: WHAT do you MEAN

Draco: I’m dating both of them and neither one of them knows and I feel terrible about it.

Theo: so you broke up with Granger?

Draco: I didn’t break up with either one of them.

Theo: What do you mean?

Draco: You process this however you want to process this.

Theo: which one are you dating?

Draco: BOTH

Theo: are you dating Granger?

Draco: I’m dating Granger

Theo: Are you dating Astoria?

Draco: Yes

Theo: How do you do that?

Draco: Don’t make me choose

Theo: You have to choose. You can’t have both witches.

Draco: We’ll what was I supposed to do?

Theo: WHAT you think you can have a whole bunch of wives?!? You get ONE wife!! This is the way the world works!!

Draco: WHY?!?

#incorrect dramione #theodore nott #draco malfoy #source: new girl

[incorrect-dramioneandfriends]

POV - The first time Draco is in Hermione’s room

Draco: Oh you have a bunch of metal toothpicks.

Hermione: They’re Bobby pins

Draco: what’s a Bobby pin?

Hermione: It keeps your hair back-

Draco: You need Bobby’s pin to put your hair up?

Hermione (exasperated): It’s BOBBY PINS not BOBBY’s PINS

Draco holding up a ginormous ball of yarn: WHAT IS THIS?!?

Hermione: Yarn

Draco: WHAT ARE YOU KNITTING A MANSION?!?

#dramione #incorrect dramione #source: new girl