humans-of-amsterdam

[humans-of-amsterdam]

''I never saw it coming. It was mainly emotional abuse. Sometimes, he threatened her, saying he would ruin her, but we always thought he meant financially. When they moved in together, the fights became more and more intense. Once, he became violent, attacked her, and threatened to kill himself. After that fight, we stayed at my aunt's house so she could get some rest.

The night my mom tried to leave him became fatal. She tried to run out of the house but didn't reach the front door. My stepfather killed her and then took his own life. The headlines in the paper said 'family drama.' It wasn't a family drama; my mother was murdered.

She was not just my mom but also my best friend. It was always me and her. After she was gone, I felt so lost. Due to the long waiting lists for mental health care, I couldn't get the psychological help I needed. I had just given up my house and was about to move in with my mom and stepfather because of the lockdown. The house was now a crime scene, so I instantly became homeless.

I could rely on my boyfriend, friends, and family so I didn't end up on the street, but my life has been hell for the past three years. I managed to get out of bed and shower only recently, but my emotions are still numb. Not a day has gone by where I don't ask myself. Why are we even here? What is the meaning of life? Why do such horrible things happen? But despite all my doubts, I keep on living.

If I were no longer here, he would have taken another life. Then I think of my mom and the energy she put into me. All the unconditional love she has given me. All the life lessons. She taught me from a very young age that life isn't always easy and that you should fight for it. I may feel numb now, but I know I have a life after this. I may have kids of my own someday. That's something worth fighting for."

#hoa #humansofamsterdam #story #photography #amsterdam

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"When my sister became chronically ill, I realized I shouldn't wait any longer to live my dreams. I used to work at a bank for 25 years. After that, I became a manager at a lunchroom in Amsterdam Zuid. Whenever there was the Amsterdam marathon, we would make an improvised coffee cart, and I loved that so much that the idea of running my coffee cart was born. So when my sister got sick, I realized how vulnerable life is, and so it pushed me to quit my job. When I told my manager, he was happy for me and said why don't you have a cart built specifically for you? It got me so excited. I didn't have the financial means, so I sold my house and decided to rent. I've been doing this for almost six years. I used to stand next to metro station Noord, but my lungs started bothering me because of the bad air there. So now I'm going from one place to another. I enjoy serving people a good cup of coffee but also a moment of peace in their day. Sometimes people even start talking to each other, and so there are all these beautiful interactions between my clients; I really like that. I always say: I have a café but on wheels."

#dreams #humansofamsterdam

[humans-of-amsterdam]

''Our first meeting on the first day of high school was weird but also funny because we had just discovered that we are cousins. We are now good friends and do most of our school projects together. Today we are making a video about Amsterdam for an English assignment. We picked five tourist sights from the Jordaan; we call it: 'The Jordaan report.' That's why we dressed up as reporters. So we are now on the Johnny Jordaanplein, then we go to the Westerkerk, the Anne Frank House, and the Noorderkerk, and we end up at the Old Dutch candy shop. Of course, we must try all sorts of candy for this item. You know, teachers in school expect a lot from us, but sometimes we have to remind them that we're just 13 and 14-year-old kids.''

[humans-of-amsterdam]

3/3 ''I always knew I didn't want to be Eelco anymore, but I was too scared to transition, knowing I would lose my job and potentially my house since my boss was also my landlord. At 28, I met this great guy in the club. His name was Jesaja. A beautiful name, like in the bibble. He said, "I see what's going on with you. I see your struggle. I want to help you through your transition and give you the rest and care you need. Only there is one thing, after you transition, I will have to let you go because I'm gay, and I'm not into women." It took a year and a half before I finally transitioned. Jesaja kept his promise and stayed with me until I woke up from the anesthesia. After that, he took care of me for a few months and then left. I never saw him again. I was heartbroken because I loved him very much, but I will always be thankful for what he did. He gave me the courage and support to become Ellen.''

[humans-of-amsterdam]

2/3 ''One night, I was out in a gay club and heard the barkeeper scream: "Glasses. I need more glasses." I took my chance, boldly grabbed a tray, and started collecting empty glasses. That night, I helped her collect and clean cups. At the end of the night, she asked me: 'Who are you?' I said: 'I'm Eelco.' She asked: 'Would you like to do this every night?' I said: 'Yes, Please!' I was so happy that I finally found a job. The barkeeper turned out to be the owner of the club. She also owned a couple of houses in the city, so she offered me a place to rent. For the first time, I had a place to work and sleep. I did everything for her. I ran the club like it was my own. However, she made it clear that if I went through with my plans to transition, I would be fired. It was a gay nightclub, and she didn't want to employ women. Whenever we had those discussions, I asked her: 'but you're a woman yourself?' She would respond: 'Yes, but I'm the owner.'

[humans-of-amsterdam]

1/3 ''At twelve, I already knew I felt more like a woman than a man. Because of my strict Catholic upbringing, my parents didn't accept it. I had a rough childhood. My mother couldn't handle me as a child, so she sent me away to live with the nuns and priests. There I was physically and sexually abused, but I don't talk about that. It's too painful. At sixteen, I moved out. My dad helped me find a little apartment in Lelystad. We agreed that I would pay for the utilities, and he would take care of my rent. One day, after two years, I came home, and all my belongings were on the street. It turned out that his new wife, who was in charge of the payments, never paid rent. She spent it all on her own children. After I lost my house, I couldn't return to either of my parents, so I fled to Amsterdam. I had nowhere to go, so I had no choice but to sleep on the street. I was homeless for three years. I would often go to parties and go home with strange men. I was vulnerable, and men, they sensed that. It wasn't safe, but every time I went home with a stranger, at least I didn't have to sleep outside in the cold.'' 

#trans #humansofamsterdam #Amsterdam #lgbtq

[humans-of-amsterdam]

''We had a complicated relationship. She had a tough childhood. When she was still a baby, her mother tried to jump out of the window while holding her. As a result, she wasn't affectionate with me. I was nine when I drew my first portrait of her. She had the most beautiful, outspoken deep eyes. I would often crawl into bed with her. She would lie, smoking cigarettes and playing pocket solitaire. She wasn't snappy or anything. She just couldn't show any signs of affection. I always tried to get close to her, searching for confirmation of her maternal love, but she always kept her distance. So drawing her was the closest I could get to her. It might sound crazy, but her dementia came as a gift to me. She was in her early eighties when it started. It made her softer, sweeter, and more approachable. When I visited, she proudly showed me copies of my illustrated books translated into Japanese and told me that her daughter had made them. We spent hours in silence while she sat in her chair looking out the window while I drew her. In the past, there were many moments when I could have cut off contact, but somehow I never did. All my life, I felt somewhat incomplete. When you hold a love for someone, but you can never express that love, it's killing you inside. So with dementia, she allowed me to get close, take care of her, and even bathe her. For the very first time, she allowed me to love her.''

#alzheimer #humansofamsterdam #amsterdam #dementia #Mother #love #drawing #illustration

[humans-of-amsterdam]

How do you use Tumblr?

Dear Tumblr friends.

I haven’t been active here for a while but Humans of Amsterdam lives on other social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. The reason I don’t post much here is tbh because I don’t really understand Tumblr and I’m not sure how to connect with you all. Still people follow me which I appreciate.

So for those who are here, please tell me, how does Tumblr work? Like how do you use it? Why do you use it? What do enjoy about it?

No judgement from my side but I’m just trying to understand the platform. 

Love, Humans of Amsterdam.

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"Everything about him was so un-French. He was everything I was unfamiliar with, a typical Dutchman, direct, rational, and always optimistic. That's probably why I found him fascinating. We met in a bar in Nancy and temporarily worked in France. We were young and very much in love. When he returned to the Netherlands, he said: Why don't you just come to Amsterdam? You will find a job in two seconds.' as if it was that simple. I had lived my whole life in Paris and had just started a new job at a bank. I couldn't imagine leaving all that behind. Yet, his words must have unconsciously stuck in my head because one morning, in the Metro on my way to work, I suddenly thought, why don't I leave? I'm only 25. What do I have to lose?' I packed my things and left for Amsterdam. He was right because I quickly found a job. However, the relationship did not last. He wanted to travel and see the world, and I was starting a new life here. When we broke up, I was heartbroken, but I didn't see a reason to return to Paris. It took a while to build a life here, but I didn't give up, and I'm glad I stayed. I married an American man, and we have a beautiful child together. I have no idea how my ex is doing now, but in a way, I will always be grateful to him for bringing me here. It would be funny if he read this.''

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"She was one of the baristas at the café I was managing. At work, we got along really well but at the time, I was still in a relationship with a man, and I had no idea that I could be attracted to women. After a year, I got transferred to a different branch of the company. A few months later, at a company party, we ran into each other again. My relationship had just ended. That evening we had quite a few drinks, we got to talk, and there was this strong chemistry between us. That night, I went home with her, and from that moment on, we are together. In the beginning, I thought it was just a phase, but I felt so comfortable with her that I realized it was for real. I've always been someone with quite a few walls up. Since I'm with her, I dare to be more vulnerable, which has also positively impacted my relationship with my friends and family. We have been in a relationship for two and a half years now, and one month ago, we moved in together. I always had this complete picture in my head of what my life would look like when I turn thirty. I thought I would have a house, a job, and live with a man. The picture looks slightly different, but it feels pretty complete."

#humansofamsterdam #couple

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"I was twenty-two when I moved from Suriname to the Netherlands. In the beginning, I was quite lonely. I lived with my uncle in Alkmaar, but soon I moved to Amsterdam to start my training as a midwife. I lived in the south part of the city, and in my spare time, I regularly went dancing at Minervaplein. Once a month, there would be a party at the Minerva Pavilion with Latin American music, so many Surinamese boys and girls would come to dance. I would dance until the sun came up again. That's the best thing about being young. You don't get tired quickly, so you forget about time passing by. During one of those nights, I met my then-husband. We married and I got pregnant before I could finish my education as a midwife. I spent a big part of my life raising my children and working full-time as a hospital nurse. There wasn't too much I did for myself, but I always tried to prioritize my personal growth. I started solo traveling to Nigeria and Cuba once I retired. When you travel, you see how other people live, and by learning about them, you learn about yourself. Traveling is a great way to develop as a human being. When I became less mobile, I had to find different ways to challenge myself to grow. About ten years ago, at the age of 78, I went back to school for three years to study Dutch, French, and English. I was the oldest in the class, but nobody cared. I even had an official graduation! I'm just not the type of person to sit still and do nothing all day long.''

#Amsterdam #humansofamsterdam #graduation #backtoschool

[humans-of-amsterdam]

''I'm always down for random spontaneous things, so when a camera crew approached me at the airport in Japan and asked if they could interview me, I said yes. They were collecting human stories from the airport for a TV show. After the interview, I went on with my vacation and never really thought about it again. One year later, I suddenly received an email from one of the producers that they would broadcast my episode. Right after the episode aired, I was scrolling through Instagram and received a message from a girl named Hana. She said: ''You look really cool.'' She was smoking hot. From that moment on, we kept talking, and we fell in love more and more every day, so I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I wanted to wait until we would meet in person, but due to the travel restrictions, it was uncertain when that would be. After one year of texting and video calling, we finally met for the first time four days ago. When I saw her at Schiphol airport, my first thought was: 'Wow, she's even hotter in person than in her Instagram photos." When we first hugged, it felt so comfortable, like I already knew her. The way we met it's not normal. It's a gift from the universe, and I'm so fucking happy.'' 

#couple #couplegoals #long distance couple #japan #fashion #Amsterdam #humansofamsterdam

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"As a kid, I spent a lot of time with my grandfather. He had a little sewing workshop but everybody in Istanbul knew him. I was six when he taught me easy sewing techniques on a small piece of fabric. After a while, he taught me how to sew buttons on a blouse. I was 11 when I made my first trousers. I still have them in my closet. I was sixteen when my grandfather passed away and two years later I moved to Amsterdam. Shortly after that, I got married and my wife and I had our four children. I have two daughters and two sons. Children are gold. I would have loved to have more. Twenty years ago, I took over a sewing workshop in Amsterdam and I still love going to work every day. I often think about my grandfather. I still use his old thimble. He didn’t just teach me a craft, he also taught me how to talk to customers, that you should be honest, communicate well, and always pay off your debt right away. "

#istanbul #Amsterdam #tailoring #humansofamsterdam

[humans-of-amsterdam]

''Please don't ask me for my age. I couldn't tell you. I'm terrible with data. The only year I can remember vividly is 1980. That was the year I met Piet. I went to a friend's house for a drink, and there he was, sitting with a drink in his hand, looking all handsome. He had a cheeky face. I thought: he's never going to like me. He's out of my league. But I was wrong because I got a phone call a few days later and it was Piet. He asked: Pien, shall we go to the beach today? I didn't have to think twice about it. Piet was discourteous, which I truly loved about him. Later on, he told me, that he took me to the beach that day so he could see me in a bikini. It was rude but that was Piet. I passed the inspection because we started dating. He liked everything about me, and let me tell you, I can be bitch. My entire life, I have suffered from performance anxiety. That's why I never got any diplomas. Piet was a graphic designer, and I drew a lot. One time I came home after a week away, and Piet had been studying my drawings in my absence. There was a little note from Piet on the table, and it said: ''Pien, you can do it!'' His words meant everything to me. He was the one who saw potential in me and told me to take a course in Desktop Publishing. Which is the only course I managed to finish in my life. After eight years, we broke up. I didn't want kids, and for me, it was just time to move on. He got married and became a father. Still, I often think about Piet. We are both Formula 1 fanatics and obsessed with racecars. Once a year, when Formula 1 starts, he texts me: 'Pien, are you ready?' The other day he posted a book cover on Facebook, and in the caption, he wrote: ''I wish I could design something so beautiful. Then I commented: ''Piet, you can do it!" 

#Amsterdam #humansofamsterdam #fashion #photography

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"I never felt at home in Paris. It's weird because it's the place where I was born. There is only one place that I genuinely love in Paris: the park underneath the Eiffeltower. I think I've been there more than 100 times. I used to work in construction, and every day, after a long day of work, I would go there, put some music on and forget about the entire world. Sometimes I would even meet new people. Most people go to clubs to listen to music and meet people, but I don't like parties. One day, while I was there, I met a beautiful Dutch girl. She was on holiday, and we got to talk. We exchanged email addresses. That summer I decided to go to Amsterdam so I could visit her. I had never been, so I had no idea what to expect. She showed me around. On my first day here, I fell in love with her and with Amsterdam. That's when I knew I would never leave. After a few days, I went to the town hall, and I said: ''Hey, I'm Mehmet, I'm from France, and I want to stay here, what do I need to do?''. They were friendly and helped me to get all the paperwork in order. I found an apartment, and I started looking for any job I could find. I've cleaned offices, worked at KFC, and now, this summer, I'm in charge of spraying the bridges, so they don't expand. So far, this is my favorite job. Bridges are an essential part of this city, so taking good care of this bridge makes me like I'm an essential part of this city too. Unfortunately, my relationship didn't last, but I never considered returning to Paris after we broke up. I'm already home. "

#Amsterdam #Street Photography #humansofamsterdam #dreams

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"Right before departure, I was separated from my family and taken off the train at Amsterdam Central Station. They took me to a children's home. I was only two years old, so I don't have a lot of memories. I do remember that every time someone rang the door, I had to hide in the basement. When the war ended, I went from one foster family to another. I have lived in over 27 different foster homes. It was not a secure upbringing. When I nine, I discovered ballet. A few years later, I got accepted into a dance company. I've been told that dancing is for prostitutes, but I never cared. I always said, 'if dancing is for prostitutes, then I'm a prostitute.' Dancing became a way for me to express my emotions. I met my ex-husband when I was eighteen, and we had two children. I became a dance teacher. Even though life continued, I never stopped having questions about my past, what exactly happened to my parents, and what my life was like in the children's home. Since my family was Jewish, I have always assumed they got deported to the death camps, but it was never confirmed. When there is nobody to verify your story, you sometimes doubt if it really happened. I have never been able to find anything about my past until twelve years ago. I was at my foster mother's house when my then-boyfriend called and said there's an article in the paper about the children's home. I picked up the paper and saw multiple photos of emaciated children. Amongst those children, I saw a little girl. It was me. Someone had found a box of files and pictures at the garbage and brought it to a journalist. Amongst those files, statements were detailing the abuse, neglect, and mistreatment that took place in the children's home. I remember I was shaking reading the article. It was painful and confronting, but at the same time, it felt like recognition. For the first time, I could say this is not a story that I made up. This really happened."

[humans-of-amsterdam]

"I never had a strong desire to become a parent. Neither did my wife. We took over my parents cafe instead. We worked for more than 40 years to keep the business going. You could say that the cafe was our child. When we retired we had to sell the cafe. It was hard giving up our business. However, we still live above the cafe and the new owners are doing a great job. Now that I am retired, I spend most of my days reading the paper and taking walks around Amsterdam. When I am tired I stay nearby. When I feel adventurous, I explore different parts of town. My wife and I, we do our own thing. We have no rules. Well except for one: Every day at 5PM we meet at the house and we drink a glass of dry white wine in the living room. No matter how far I walk, she knows I'll be home 5PM sharp."