mourning-again-in-america

[mourning-again-in-america]

nearly six thousand words and i have yet to write my analysis and limitations sections. please. save me from the jesuits.

[mourning-again-in-america]

The inventary vocalic at seven vowels is rich in comparison at the other languages otomangues who have an majority five vowels, with a contrast at three nivels of fermiture and three nivels of anteriority, the position central beingn't occupied that per an vowel central-overt.

It exists also dix-nine contrasts consonantics, from where three appearisen't with which the emprunts spanishes. The amuzgo has as contrasts at five lels of articulations, and five manners of articulations, without distinction of voicement. The segments entering parentheses are rares or existn't that in emprunts. These who are entering crochets are as allophones. As segments complexes are admitted from within our inventary for the considerations phonotactics and phonetics.

With an squelette syllabic also strict and an number of restrictions under the possible clusters in attack, the amuzgo trouves its structural allures. With its languages sisters, it's for the others strategies which that language augments its inventaries. As systems of phonation of voice souffle et laryngalized, of nasality, of ballisticity under the syllable (analyzed behold here in the mode of the soufflement in fin of mot, but which exprime themselves in party for the modulation tonal at the nivel of the syllable), and not minus the eleven valors tonals (6 tons lies at the syllable non-ballistic, and 5 lies at the syllable ballistic), forment an eventuality of diverse possibilities structurals, give an grain final of oppositions and of contrasts. To in thus, the inventory vocalic could be gonfled of September at 48 valors if we count the number of vowels, multiplied for the four valors of voice (souffle, cracked, ballistic and modal) that gives 48 valors vocalics.

[mourning-again-in-america]

“What kind of person was Lancelot? I know about half the kind of person he was, because Malory contented himself with sharing the obvious half. He was more interested in the plot than the characters, and, as soon as he had laid down the broad lines of the latter, he left it at that. Malory’s Lancelot is: 1. Intensely sensitive to moral issues. 2. Ambitious of true - not current - distinction. 3. Probably sadistic or he would not have taken such frightful care to be gentle. 4. Superstitious or totemistic or whatever the word is. He connects his martial luck with virginity, like the schoolboy who thinks he will only bowl well in the march tomorrow if he does not abuse himself today. 5. Fastidious, monogamous, serious. 6. Ferociously punitive to his own body. He denies it and slave-drives it. 7. Devoted to ‘honour,’ which he regards as keeping promises and ‘having a Word.’ He tries to be consistent. 8. Curiously tolerant of other people who do not follow his own standards. He was nor shocked by the lady who was naked as a needle. 9. Not without a sense of humour. It was a good joke dressing up as Kay. And he often says amusing things. 10. Fond of being alone. 11. Humble about his athleticism: not false modesty. 12. Self-critical. Aware of some big lack in himself. What was it? 13. Subject to pity, cf. no. 3. 14. Emotional. He is the only person Mallory mentions as crying from relief. 15. Highly strung: subject to nervous breakdowns. 16. Yet practical. He ends by dealing with the Guenever situation pretty well. He is a good man to have with you in a tight corner. 17. Homosexual? Can a person be ambi-sexual - bisexual or whatever? His treatment of young boys like Gareth and Cote Male Tale is very tender and his feeling for Arthur profound. Yet I do so want not to have to write a ‘modern’ novel about him. I could only bring myself to mention this trait, if it is a trait, in the most oblique way. 18. Human. He firmly believes that for him it is a choice between God and Guenever, and he takes Guenever. He says: This is wrong and against my will, but I can’t help it. It seems to me that no 17 is the operative number in this list. What was the lack? On first inspection one would be inclined to link it up with no 17, but I don’t understand about bisexuality, so can’t write about it. There was definitely something ‘wrong’ with Lancelot, in the common sense, and this was what turned him into a genius. It is very troublesome. People he was like: 1. Lawrence of Arabia, 2. A nice captain of the cricket, 3. Parnell, 4. Sir W Raleigh, 5. Hamlet, 6. me, 7. Prince Rufant, 8. Montros, 9. Tony Ireland or Von Simm […] or whatever, 10. Any mad man, 11. Adam.”

— T.H. White’s notes on the character of Lancelot.

[mourning-again-in-america]

male gender nonconformity is getting out of hand because *checks notes* straight guys sometimes get thier ears pierced now and *checks notes even harder, squints* if a man is too effeminate it makes me really uncomfortable and angry for some reason. this must be due to Capitalism

[mourning-again-in-america]

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

[mourning-again-in-america]

YES I’ve been chased and hissed at by a Canada goose but it doesn’t make me hate them guess I’m just built different

#i WISH i could hiss like a goose when someone gets too close. #and like yeah don't try to step over it it can make your day unpleasant. it wont maim you but you dont want that right? #so in my view only issue is that a goose is more willing to throw down than I am. which is a virtue i respect.

[mourning-again-in-america]

endless discourse cycle of "not doing drugs is pathetic loser behaviour" -> "making fun of people for not doing drugs is high school bully behaviour" would be resolved instantly if ppl simply recognised that doing drugs is like anorexia in that both are socially encouraged but only until you cross the line into disabled and/or unemployable

#dysfunction is gr8 until your dysfunction runs into society

[mourning-again-in-america]

Osama bin Laden was a very interesting modern fusion of Agamemnon + Odysseus + Western Cowboy. He was so real that he didn't shave.

#warrior king driven into exile has a lot of potential. bin laden was just strange.

[mourning-again-in-america]

"torture the blonde man some more" sounds like House fandom (as for if it's Wilson or Chase -- both is good. )

[mourning-again-in-america]

Group chat with people talking about the eclipse and someone brought up Avatar. I now have ATLA zoomies about it I need to skip work and go rewatch it

[mourning-again-in-america]

a fact about me is that i was an early bloomer who hit puberty in elementary school and was immediately, obnoxiously horny in ways that were uncomfortable for everyone because no one is prepared for an elementary schooler with b cups and a deep fascination with movies where people get tied up. another fact is that because i was considered smart for my age in the ways that mattered, i just accepted all this as a single package, the many ways that i was not really a child the way other children were children but was instead a miniature adult. i was technically a child, but not really, as far as i was concerned. it also did not occur to me until around high school that i was fat, because i instead considered myself to be sturdy, to be buff, to be built like a tank.

so somewhere around middle school i am noticing the ways in which i am Not Like Other Girls, the ways in which i am not what society says a girl is and the ways that things marketed to girls do not appeal to me. i don't know how other girls dealt with this, but i very rationally decided that i was only technically a girl, in the way that i was only technically a child. so i looked at the things that did appeal to me, and that i did enjoy, and reverse engineered my demographic to decide that on a practical and functional level i was a middle-aged man. i had also gotten really hornily into wolverine because of the first x-men movie, and ended up reading a lot of comics, so as you can imagine the comic book version of wolverine who is short and built like a tank and older than he looks despite being for all intents and purposes a middle aged man really had some appeal to me.

there are idiots who say shit about how tomboys would be considered trans these days or whatever, but i can assure you that was not what was happening here. by middle school i already had to special order bras and i was fine with that because of the many weird fetishes i was developing, none of which can be blamed on the internet because i hadn't found that shit yet and also to this day you would have a hard time finding anything similar to the things i wrote in my secret notebook and immediately destroyed. the fact that i was technically a girl was vital to all this. media where there was a big reveal that some cool dude had been a hot chick the whole time was my shit. weird feral beast people who turned out to be hot women once they took a bath? fuck yes. i would never have cut my hair because that would have ruined my chances to take off a helmet and reveal that i had girl hair. at no point did i think i was anything but a girl, it was just that i was functionally a middle-aged man, who was a girl.

what this means is that i still liked all the things i already liked, such as leather jackets and comic books and anime and old stand-up comedy, but i also did extensive research on the other things i felt i should like according to the demographic i had assigned myself. i watched vh1's 'i love the 70s' with the air of someone trying to hide their amnesia, even though my parents were children in the 70s. i got into the beatles. i tried to get into cars for a while before accepting that i only liked the vintage car aesthetic and couldn't be fucked to know actual car facts. i wore nothing but cargo shorts and aloha shirts for a while, which didn't really stand out that much because it was middle school. i bought a fedora and became a libertarian atheist. i made plans to buy a motorcycle (i could not ride a bike).

i gave up on it after a while because quite frankly my titty situation meant there was never really going to be a big reveal that i'd been a girl the whole time. it was pretty obvious even with the cargo shorts. also the older of a teen i was, the more likely it felt that i could maybe get laid, except i could tell that was never going to happen as long as i kept wearing cargo shorts. it took longer to give up the fedora because it was leather and i wore it with my leather jacket and fingerless gloves, which i convinced myself worked a lot better after i'd gone full high school goth. i lived in the desert so you can imagine how well that worked out for me, smell-wise.

anyway that's how my female socialization went, i don't think it was particularly successful tbqh

#i believe I understand you & i certainly appreciate you

[mourning-again-in-america]

"careful! thats fetish art!" girl you have no idea

[mourning-again-in-america]

NOT how the phrase goes !!!

#ill nip ur butt bb

[mourning-again-in-america]

I don't need to do this writing but on a spiritual level, I do. Unfortunately, it sucks ass.

[mourning-again-in-america]

i wish i was around to see the discourse over whether or not the hutu-tutsi conflict could even be called a "racial" conflict

#“obviously it's just class revolution” some said.

[mourning-again-in-america]

Current list of regions surveyed for paper: Congo, Angola, Mozambique, Rhodesia, Chad, Cameroon, Fernando Poo, and Rwanda

I hate this.

[mourning-again-in-america]

I guess pelicans are technically birds....... but deep down i think they are Something Else. something much worse.