hobbyist-hellscape

[hobbyist-hellscape]

art report 1/10/23

yesterday, drawing finally became fun for me.

i’d been struggling for a few days with drawing: i wasn’t having fun. i was just doing anatomy drills over and over in order to become ‘good‘ so that i could draw what i wanted.

i thought that if i drew a bunch of fanart or whatever at my current skill level, i’d be embarrassed.

i was also fighting a war against my own lines: they’re wobbly, and nothing i did could straighten them out.

browsing skillshare classes, i learned that it’s possible to escape from both of these issues.

i encountered this artist who did watercolor paintings of Just Cats. funny-looking, wobbly cats. so many of them.

if she can do it, why can’t i?

the project for her skillshare class was to draw and paint a self-portrait in watercolor. this is what i drew: i call it Self-Portrait with [MENACING].

and i had fun.

now i’m working on a one-page autobiographical comic! look forward to it!

#drawing #painting #watercolor #self portrait

[hobbyist-hellscape]

writing report 1/6/23

yesterday, i did three important things:

i started catching up on rp posts

i read a book

i started an album of positive comments on my work

rp posts

i don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to stay caught up with my roleplay commitments. i like doing it! i have fun doing it! right now i’m in a great rp group with people i really like!

so i don’t know what it is that causes me to get so behind on it!

my best guess is that a roleplay post doesn’t reach the same audience as a finished fic does. it gets less engagement, and the desire for engagement with my writing is something that i really struggle with. i want people to validate my efforts.

why do i want that so badly? why can’t i just have fun writing?

how can i uncouple other people’s approval of my writing from my self-worth?

that’s one of the big questions i’m asking myself this year.

book

i started reading when the angels left the old country yesterday evening. it’s been on my reading list since december and i was so excited to finally get around to it.

i really enjoy the writing style, but more than that... there’s something about reading a queer book that feels like coming home.

comment album

i went to the craft store and bought a cheap photo album. then, i printed out some of the most positive comments i’ve ever gotten on my fic, cut them out, and pasted them onto 4x6 pieces of scrapbook paper.

i slipped those into the photo album, and i can look at them whenever i need a boost to my Writerly Ego!

if you have any thoughts, advice, or any other comments, feel free to let me know!

#writing

[hobbyist-hellscape]

writing report 1/4/23

i’ve decided to start writing threadfics.

i have a lot of ideas for fics, and sometimes i don’t have the energy to make them all into full, polished pieces, so i thought that this would be a good way to get them out into the world.

i wrote one last night and had a lot of fun with it! it went quickly because i didn’t have to worry about formatting, but more so because it felt really low-stakes.

i didn’t feel the pressure that i usually put on myself to make my prose perfect. it was great, and i was still really happy with the finished product. i feel i can use it as an outline if i ever want to expand the concept into a full fic.

still, i don’t think i was very good at it. most threadfics i read are very concise and action-focused, and each tweet forms a specific image. they come together like a string of pearls.

my threadfic... was almost 600 words long.

if any of you have any tips as to how to write an effective threadfic, please let me know! and, for crossposting purposes: what is the tumblr word for ‘threadfic?‘

thanks for reading, and thank you in advance for your feedback!

#fanfiction #fic writing #writing

[hobbyist-hellscape]

drawing report 1/1/23

here she is, miss america. isn’t she beautiful?

this is a gesture drawing that i did today in five minutes. it’s notable because it’s the first gesture drawing i’ve ever done that doesn’t cause me fathomless despair.

i’m gonna dedicate myself to learning how to draw this year. if you have any advice, please do let me know!

i’m gonna draw so many gorgeous fat women.

#my art #draw #drawing

[hobbyist-hellscape]

mye’s media list, 1/23

last month, i made my first media list--a list of four-ish things i’d like to engage with in that month.

the items on that list were:

jojolion

hikaru ga shinda natsu

pride and prejudice

when the angels left the old country

for this month, i’ve decided to take on the following:

spy x family cour 2

princess jellyfish/kuragehime

when the angels left the old country

here’s what i thought about last month’s offerings, and then a rundown of this month’s list:

last month’s list

jojolion

i kind of understand why jjl isn’t as widely read as other parts of jojo: at least, i know what took me so long to read it. i was afraid of reading the last available part, because i didn’t want jojo to be ‘over.‘

i did work up the courage to read it, and i’m very glad that i did! it gave me the same thrill that the other parts have! it had the same creativity and deeply compelling emotional core as every other part, a fabulous reminder of why i love jojo in the first place.

though i understand why people haven’t read it, i’d really suggest that they do!

stan jobin.

hikaru ga shinda natsu

god, everything about this is so beautiful in such a unique way. i usually read manga pretty quickly--i’m still trying to cultivate patience--but i really found myself slowing down to take in the gorgeous art and the haunting storyline.

yoshiki is such a compelling protagonist and hikaru (or not-hikaru) is a truly charming love interest, and the underlying symbolism... the horror of growing up gay and approaching queer desire for the first time is portrayed so well here, and it resonated so strongly with me.

there are only a few chapters out as yet, but don’t let that stop you. run, don’t walk, to hikaru ga shinda natsu--and, of course, support the upcoming official release!

pride and prejudice

i will not lie. i did not finish pride and prejudice. i was in a mood for something more action-packed at the time i was reading it, and jojolion quickly consumed all of my attention.

additionally, i found myself thinking ‘i can get the same enrichment in less time by watching the 2005 film.‘

however: i enjoyed what i read of it. i loved austen’s wit so much. i also found it really interesting to observe the way that it was written--the rules of engagement vis a vis writing have really changed in the past 200 years.

not bad! just not what i needed at that time.

when the angels left the old country

i’m sure you’ve noticed that this is on my list for both december and january--this is because i didn’t make it. i didn’t touch it at all, i just didn’t have time.

my excitement to read this book is unchanged. it’s in my kindle library. it will happen.

this month’s list

princess jellyfish/kuragehime

a favorite anime from my teenage years, but the show doesn’t cover the whole story. since i’m getting back into reading manga, i think it’s finally time to see how princess jellyfish ends.

spy x family cour 2

i have a terrible habit of keeping myself from doing fun things. i feel like i have to earn it by being productive.

i enjoyed the hell out of the first cour of spy x family. it’s time to let myself have fun with the second cour.

let’s get going! and, of course, if you have any suggestions for things to include on future media lists, feel free to reach out! i’d love to hear from you!

thanks for listening!

#media list #jojolion #jjba #hikaru ga shinda natsu #when the angels left the old country #pride and prejudice #princess jellyfish #kuragehime #spy x family